THE STORY OF THE "WOUNDED HEALER'S" SEVEN MONTHS IN A TRAPPIST MONASTERY IN 1974
Henri Jozef Machiel Nouwen (1932-1996) was a Dutch-born Catholic priest and writer; he taught at the Catholic Theological Institute in Utrecht, at Yale Divinity School, Harvard Divinity School, etc., and also spent ten years as pastor at the L'Arche community in Richmond Hill, Ontario. He wrote many other books, such as 'The Return of the Prodigal Son: A Story of Homecoming,' 'The Wounded Healer: Ministry in Contemporary Society,' 'The Inner Voice of Love: A Journey Through Anguish to Freedom,' 'Making All Things New: An Invitation to the Spiritual Life,' etc.
He wrote in the Introduction to this 1981 book, "My desire to life for seven months in a Trappist Monastery, not as a guest but as a monk, did not develop overnight. It was the outcome of many years of restless searching. While teaching, lecturing, and writing about the importance of solitude, inner freedom, and peace of mind, I kept stumbling over my own compulsions and illusions...
"These questions kept intruding themselves into my few unfilled moments and challenging me to face my restless self. Maybe I spoke more about God than with him. Maybe my writing about prayer kept me from a prayerful life. Maybe I was more concerned about the praise of men and women than the love of God... I realized that I would only know by stepping back and allowing the hard questions to touch me even if they hurt."
He says, "I met Brother Elias, a hermit of the Abbey... I knew that theology needed to be born out of prayer, but Brother Elias had to say if again so i would not forget it. We also talked about Thomas Merton... Merton's deep desire for solitude had been in constant tension with his gregarious personality. There were always many people around him, if not physically then through mail and books. And he loved it. But until the last days of his life he kept dreaming about a hermitage in Alaska. the tension between his great desire for solitude and his deep compassion for so many people made Merton the writer he was, and Brother Elias knew it." (Pg. 21)
He observes, "The spiritual life does not consist of any special thoughts, ideas, or feelings but is contained in the most simple ordinary experiences of everyday living." (Pg. 41) Later, he adds, "On this earth the experience of great beauty always remains mysteriously linked with the experience of great loneliness. This reminds me again that there is still a beauty I have not seen yet: the beauty that does not create loneliness but unity." (Pg. 111)
He notes, "Thinking back on how I came to the ideas I have written down on paper, I realize how much they were the result of a constant interaction with people. I write against the background of my own history and experiences and others respond to me from their different histories and experiences, and it is in the interaction of stories that the ideas take their shape." (Pg. 157)
He states about the Friday night lecture by a visiting seminary professor, "these lectures are a special experience. What fascinates me about them is that they give me such a powerful sense of déjà vu. When I listen to them I feel as if I am back in the theological seminary. All the feelings I had then seem to return: I like the lectures, I am intrigued, I don't want to miss any---but at the same time I am dissatisfied on a level I did not understand in the past but is now closer to my consciousness.
"After my ordination I was asked to continue to study theology. I asked the bishop to change that request and to let me study psychology instead. Somewhere I felt then that theology had left a whole area of my life experience untouched. I hoped that psychology would fill the need. It did so, although only very indirectly." (Pg. 172)
He suggests, "One of the things that strikes me is that Merton is like the Bible: he can be used for almost any purpose. The conservatives and the progressives, the liberal and the radical, those who fight for changes and those who complain about them... they all quote Merton to express their ideas and convictions. He is considered to be the man who inspired Dan Berrigan, Jim Forest, and Jim Douglas, but he is also used as 'safe' spiritual reading in the refectories of many religious houses.
"Monks say that you cannot understand Merton when you do not seem him primarily as a contemplative, while many non-monks prefer to see him as a social critic, a man living on the periphery of the monastery and deeply involved in the struggle for peace and justice.... And although Merton, during his last days in Asia, wrote in the most unambiguous terms that he was and always would remain a Christian monk, some even want to believe that he planned to become a Buddhist." (Pg. 183)
He concludes, "If I were to ask about my seven months at the Abbey, 'Did it work, did I solve my problems?' the simple answer would be, 'It did not work, it did not solve my problems.' And I know that a year, two years, or even a lifetime as a Trappist monk would not have 'worked' either. Because a monastery is not built to solve problems but to praise the Lord in the midst of them. I had known this all along, but still I had to return to my old busy life and be confronted with my own restless self to believe it." (Pg. 217)
Much more theologically and spiritually "reflective" than are most such journals of "visits to a monastery," this book will be of exceptional interest to anyone interested in contemporary spirituality and spiritual practice.