A Short History of Rudeness: Manners, Morals, and Misbehavior in Modern America

by Mark Caldwell

The perceived breakdown of civility has in recent years become a national obsession, and our modern climate of boorishness has cultivated a host of etiquette watchdogs, like Miss Manners and Martha Stewart, who defend us against an onslaught of nastiness. Touching on aspects of both our public and private lives, including work, family, and sex, literary and social critic Mark Caldwell examines how the rules of behavior inevitably change and explains why, no matter how hard we try, we can never return to a golden era of civilized manners and mores.

Genres: History, Nonfiction, Microhistory, Sociology, Cultural, Social Science, Historical

288 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1999

Reviews

[Lobstergirl · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is one of those annoying books whose title pretends to a much tighter focus than it has. Rather than educating us on rudeness, it ranges far and wide, touching such microtopics as the high costs of funerals, the sex life of the fruit fly, the business practice of TQM (Total Quality Management), Martha Stewart's product lines, email flaming, and Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo of South Park. Authors of these types of books are doing what I would term dilettanting (verb borrowed from Karen Lewis, the head of the Chicago Teachers Union, who used it to describe the self-important dabblers in education policy who have no practical experience and don't know WTF they're talking about. I don't normally approve of turning nouns into verbs willy-nilly, but I think Lewis struck gold with that one). They are rarely actual historians, but random people who write books thinking they have the right to foist pointless meandering bullshit on the universe and are rewarded with excruciatingly fulsome blurbs from random newspaper critics.

[Kimberly · Rating 1 out of 5]

I started suffering within the first chapter then read a few GR reviews which indicated that this book does not get better. Life is too short to read books not liked. Abandoned.

[Lynda · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book examines how the rules of behavior inevitably change and explains why, no matter how hard we try, we can never return to a golden era of civilized manners and mores.

[Sara · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book isn't really about rudeness as much as it's about manners throughout American history. There is a difference, in my opinion. Just because someone is lacking in manners (let's say someone buys you a wedding gift that's not on your registry, for example) doesn't mean they've been rude. (Rude, in my opinion, is showing up to the wedding empty-handed and making a loud announcement that since you're likely to be divorced within a year anyway, the attendant didn't bother to buy you a gift at all.)

The book wasn't bad, but the title doesn't really give a good picture of what the book is really about.

It's also fairly outdated...for example, the author talks about how people type lots of profanity at each other over the internet. On usenet. Hee! That's so old-timey.

[Tess · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is worth a read because it adds some perspective to the whole "kids these days" outlook. Really, people have always been "rude," but the author's main point is that manners are so intrinsically important that they crop up in the most unlikely places, so we shouldn't worry too much. He does ramble a lot and goes into detail about a lot of things that deviate far from the book's stated purpose, but in general I really enjoyed reading this book.

[Liesl · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you ever thought that the rules of ettiquette were clear-cut or fair, read this, you'll change your mind.

[Steven Meyers · Rating 3 out of 5]

“NEGOTIATING EVER-CHANGING FAUX-PAS”

‘A Short History of Rudeness’ is a nebulous exercise, interspersed with interesting little historical examples. Mr. Caldwell shows how manners and rudeness continue to evolve based upon region, class, and hidden social, psychological as well as biological undercurrents. The book was published in 1999, and I was interested in how the author addressed the topic in a time before internet social platforms came into fruition. Mr. Caldwell is a professor emeritus of English in early modern literature, literature and science, and American cultural history.

The book shows that rudeness is a relative term. There are “…situations where wrongness is plainly a matter not of ethics but taste, where miscalculations signal only that one hasn’t mastered the ways of whatever class or cliques one wants to join.” It also explains how good conduct is most often equated with morality in American society and manners function as tokens of social solidarity. ‘A Short History of Rudeness’ argues that rudeness can sometimes be a good thing. Boy oh boy, too bad the book does not address Foghorn Leghorn Trump’s antics.

Mr. Caldwell shows how morals and class often clash in unspoken ways or are done in subterfuge. Majorities or people in power attempt to impose their moral codes onto “lesser” groups or individuals. Intentional and unintentional rudeness are addressed. The author examines it in such environments as the workplace, weddings, funerals, upper and lower-class groups, race, gender, and the huge lifestyle industry. Child-rearing and sexual mores are also discussed. ‘A Short History of Rudeness’ is more a book about civility with examples of rudeness. Mercy, I did not realize that etiquette books, magazines, tv, and internet programs were practically more than there are stars in the universe. While its chapter about the internet has some salient points it is very outdated. Mr. Caldwell also tackles the political-correct movement that, in today’s parlance, falls under the woke label. Once again, the book shows its age by missing how magnified cancel culture has become because of internet social platforms.

Overall, I was disappointed with ‘A Short History of Rudeness.’ It does not address how mental health issues can sometimes be a factor. I also found all the paraphernalia by supposed “experts” instructing us how to behave, even in the most mundane of tasks, as posturing nonsense. Many a time while reading Mr. Caldwell’s book, I was mentally flipping the bird to the “experts’” advice. Nobody should really give a flying f* (rhymes with duck) about proper placement of different utensils or what colors not to wear for a picnic. I wish Mr. Caldwell’s book had been a recent work. It didn’t see the future impact of cell phones, Google, social platforms like Facebook and Twitter, Wi-Fi, and now Artificial Intelligence. They have all contributed to amplifying the coarsening of America. Rudeness is now the norm; civility comes in second.

[Sarah Sammis · Rating 3 out of 5]

I put A Short History of Rudeness by Mark Caldwell on my wishlist shortly after it came out. It's been on the list so long that I can't remember the reason behind adding the book or even what my initial impression of it was. When I spotted the book, a reissue, at my library I snatched it up.

A Short History of Rudeness from the outset looks like it will be a slightly off color romp through a history of Americans acting poorly. While that's certainly there, it's mostly a scholarly look at the evolution of manners and morals in western society with an emphasis on recent American history.

The book's chapters focus on a specific taboo or point of etiquette with examples from points of history with citations of historical commentary along with modern day analysis of the same event across a broader social rubric. In other words, it's a very academic book. Had I not been in the middle of a small mountain of other reading commitments I would have read it very carefully and taken copious notes. As it was, I scanned through for names I recognized and focused my attention on those choice bits.

So go into the book expecting to spend some time with it if you really want it to soak in. Or scan the index and look for your favorite famous names from history and go from there.

[Bill · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is more a history of conflicting mores than of manners and rudeness. The misinterpretation then can be seen as rudeness by either party. I especially like the chapter on the workplace where management pretends we all are equal but everyone knows we are not. I think everyone has been there. The book was written in the 1990's so it is a bit out of date. Too bad the author did not write it during this past presidential election which has to be the worse display of bad manners and rudeness and vile people I have ever witnessed.

[Batsheva · Rating 2 out of 5]

A quick and generally entertaining read. Received no revelations on the nature of rudeness, though. I enjoyed the historical anecdotes, and then realized that this book was written in the 1990's, making itself an historical document. In some ways, the references for the "Modern America" are as dated as those of the 1890's. Nostalgic trip back to the era of Bill Clinton, Barney, Mulder and Scully and other random things I remember from the 1990's.

[Kate · Rating 2 out of 5]

The shorter version of this book is: "Are manners subjective and constantly evolving? Yes."

Rather than being about rudeness in particular, the general state of etiquette (mainly in the 20th century) is surveyed in chapters looking at various aspects of life, such as business and parenting. There was not much here that held my interest or stuck with me after I put it down.

[Mckinley · Rating 1 out of 5]

This had an odd tone, not quite academic and yet not general reading either. It ranges beyond manners and the author was unwilling to discuss morals and values as a component. The time-frame jumps all over but focuses on the US. Overall, I found it a long-winded with saying much. (in terms of rudeness isn't that what makes a bore?)

[Cat. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Rather interesting, but required a lot more energy than I was ready to give. I gave up at about page 140. He really just seems to keep repeating the idea that manners are things we make up, not universal behaviors. Duh.

[Sasha Strader · Rating 2 out of 5]

A very dry telling of INCIDENTS of rudeness. I was rather hoping more for a sociological analyzing of how and why rudeness has come to be what it is in America currently. Some of the incidents are interesting, but not what I had hoped to find.

[Beka · Rating 2 out of 5]

Well, the short history wasn't very short, and it really leaned more towards peoples attitudes towards manners and morals than the actual ones held by people throughout the decades. It was interesting in parts.

[April eclecticbookworm · Rating 1 out of 5]

The title sounded interesting but it ended up being very dry, outdated and rambled terribly. No matter what the chapter title was it always turned into business etiquette. I’ve never read something that caused such lethargy before.

[Jaime · Rating 2 out of 5]

The idea behind this book was far more interesting than its pages ended up being. It was a bit murky and didn't live up to its title.

[Aimee]

I was expecting something less erudite and more interesting...

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

I adored this book because it was a concise quick read that actually challenged the social, class, and racial underpinnings of the behavior patterns known as manners and really made the reader think.

[Spook Sulek · Rating 4 out of 5]

Comprehensive overview of the constant evolution of what constitutes good manners, how that relates to morality, and broken up in good sized chunks for discussion. Very good, and well-researched.

[Gospodyina · Rating 2 out of 5]

It just never clicked with me. I guess I wanted it to be...more Mary Roach-y?