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My Life in Orange
At the age of six, Tim Guest was taken by his mother to a commune modeled on the teachings of the notorious Indian guru Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh. The Bhagwan preached an eclectic doctrine of Eastern mysticism, chaotic therapy, and sexual freedom, and enjoyed inhaling laughing gas, preaching from a dentist's chair, and collecting Rolls Royces.Tim and his mother were given Sanskrit names, dressed entirely in orange, and encouraged to surrender themselves into their new family. While his mother worked tirelessly for the cause, Tim-or Yogesh, as he was now called-lived a life of well-meaning but woefully misguided neglect in various communes in England, Oregon, India, and Germany.In 1985 the movement collapsed amid allegations of mass poisonings, attempted murder, and tax evasion, and Yogesh was once again Tim. In this extraordinary memoir, Tim Guest chronicles the heartbreaking experience of being left alone on earth while his mother hunted heaven.
320 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2004
116 people are currently reading
6715 people want to read
About the author
Tim Guest
9 books10 followersTim Guest (c. 1974 — 2009) was a journalist and the bestselling author of My Life in Orange: Growing Up with the Guru, about his childhood on communes around the world. Guest’s articles have appeared in The New York Times, The Guardian, The Telegraph, New Scientist, and Vogue.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 200 reviews
January 16, 2013
The difficulty with this book, at least for me, was the problem with it having to be both a memoir and a historical account. Tim Guest was a child when all this was happening, so he wouldn't have had the relevant details at the time. There are long passages about him as a child, unattended by adults like all the other kids and getting into mischief that I got rather tiresome after awhile, and then fascinating segments of researched information regarding the Rajneesh. Most of the book dragged on and on and didn't really get interesting until things started getting crazy in Antelope, OR. Unfortunately, Tim Guest gets some things wrong. There were mass suicide/murders at Jonestown, not Jamestown. Portland is not the state capital of Oregon, Salem is. Seattle is in Washington, not Oregon. These may be little things, but they take away some of his credibility. Who knows what other errors he's made? It was a little more interesting reading about the effect this all had on him as a teenager at the end, but it did go on for a bit longer than anyone would have wanted to read.
December 29, 2025
I've re-read this one. Remarkable work of reconstruction of an unusual childhood.
Have encountered many Rajneeshites in my travels, especially when I lived in the Pacific North West, where their influence continues to be felt to this day. I've read other biographies of "Osho," such as Bhagwan: The God That Failed, but this memoir adds another perspective — the point of view of a child who does not choose to be involved with the commune, but yet who was there, for better and for worse, living in the very midst of everything.
Sadly, after reading this memoir, I learned that the author died in 2009 of a morphine overdose (accidentally it is presumed). All in all, a sad journey, and a moving memoir of an unusual childhood. What might the rest of his life have been?
Have encountered many Rajneeshites in my travels, especially when I lived in the Pacific North West, where their influence continues to be felt to this day. I've read other biographies of "Osho," such as Bhagwan: The God That Failed, but this memoir adds another perspective — the point of view of a child who does not choose to be involved with the commune, but yet who was there, for better and for worse, living in the very midst of everything.
Sadly, after reading this memoir, I learned that the author died in 2009 of a morphine overdose (accidentally it is presumed). All in all, a sad journey, and a moving memoir of an unusual childhood. What might the rest of his life have been?
April 14, 2008
This book just made me sad. Guest's memoir chronicles his life (roughly from age 2 to age 11) in and out of various ashrams and communes created by and for followers of the Indian 'guru' Bagwhan. Guest's mother is searching (presumably for meaning in her life) and with varying degrees of misguidance, love, neglect and naivete drags her young son into life among her fellow 'sannyasins'. The party line at these communes is that kids should not be raised as dependent on their biological parents but rather learn to rely on the community and (mostly) themselves. With this as their guiding priniciple, sannyasin parents relinquish care of their children to other sannyasins while the parents go off in search of enlightenment. As his mother spends her days working for the communal good, attending 'spiritual sessions' and worshiping her guru, Guest alternately runs amok, loses his sense of place (and with it security), grasps for his mother's attention, runs away, returns and starts over from the beginning. For nine years.
Two events were particularly poignant to me. They are silly taken out of context perhaps, but in the thread of the book they are particularly symbolic of the real tragedy Guest experiences. The first happens when Guest is may be 5 or six and is living at the communal house known as Medina. He lives in the 'Kids' Hut' with the other sannyasin kids and at one point he returns to Medina after a brief holiday with his father in the U.S. He brings back with him a Star Wars toy that his father has bought him - a real treat given that material presents are frowned upon at Medina. Within days his toy is vandalized by the other kids and he hides the remains under his bed. A week later, it's gone altogether. This kid has nothing that is truly his, that is sacred if you will. This token was a bit of a talisman for him but even it could not escape the sense of 'Ours' that pervaded Medina.
The other event happens later, near the end of his communal life. He and his mother are at a German commune, where they have essentially been banished after his mother falls out of favor of new leaders within the movement. These leaders ban kissing between group members including between parents and children. Guest's mother turns to him, a nine or ten year old kid, and says, 'That's terrible. You can't kiss your mother anymore. Go and complain.' Rather than stand up herself and fight what she believes to be wrong, in essence to stand up for her son, Guest's mother again asks him to take on her role.
Eventually, as he gets older and as the movement goes in ever increasingly bizarre directions, Guest opts out and moves with his father. Not too long after, the movement collapses and his mother returns to England with nearly a decade of communal living experience and not much else to show. Still desperate for his mother's attention and for a sense of self and place, Guest goes back to his mother who, along with her long-time sannyasin boyfriend, moves him from place, to place, to place for the duration of his time at 'home'.
As an adult Guest seems to have made peace with his mother and even share an intimate and mutually fulfilling relationship. But the retelling of his childhood got completely under my skin and made it hard for me to have much sympathy or empathy for his mother. She was lost as many of us are, but what I could not reconcile was that she always put herself before her son. Of course it is not my experience to reconcile and applaud Guest for having done it himself.
Two events were particularly poignant to me. They are silly taken out of context perhaps, but in the thread of the book they are particularly symbolic of the real tragedy Guest experiences. The first happens when Guest is may be 5 or six and is living at the communal house known as Medina. He lives in the 'Kids' Hut' with the other sannyasin kids and at one point he returns to Medina after a brief holiday with his father in the U.S. He brings back with him a Star Wars toy that his father has bought him - a real treat given that material presents are frowned upon at Medina. Within days his toy is vandalized by the other kids and he hides the remains under his bed. A week later, it's gone altogether. This kid has nothing that is truly his, that is sacred if you will. This token was a bit of a talisman for him but even it could not escape the sense of 'Ours' that pervaded Medina.
The other event happens later, near the end of his communal life. He and his mother are at a German commune, where they have essentially been banished after his mother falls out of favor of new leaders within the movement. These leaders ban kissing between group members including between parents and children. Guest's mother turns to him, a nine or ten year old kid, and says, 'That's terrible. You can't kiss your mother anymore. Go and complain.' Rather than stand up herself and fight what she believes to be wrong, in essence to stand up for her son, Guest's mother again asks him to take on her role.
Eventually, as he gets older and as the movement goes in ever increasingly bizarre directions, Guest opts out and moves with his father. Not too long after, the movement collapses and his mother returns to England with nearly a decade of communal living experience and not much else to show. Still desperate for his mother's attention and for a sense of self and place, Guest goes back to his mother who, along with her long-time sannyasin boyfriend, moves him from place, to place, to place for the duration of his time at 'home'.
As an adult Guest seems to have made peace with his mother and even share an intimate and mutually fulfilling relationship. But the retelling of his childhood got completely under my skin and made it hard for me to have much sympathy or empathy for his mother. She was lost as many of us are, but what I could not reconcile was that she always put herself before her son. Of course it is not my experience to reconcile and applaud Guest for having done it himself.
May 22, 2016
I read a lot of books about cults and cult members. I don’t have an explanation for why, it’s just an interest I have. The tagline of this particular book could read, “An interesting person ruined my life, and I have no idea why.” This memoir of Guest’s upbringing in the Rajneeshi cult should be fascinating, but it’s spoiled by Guest’s inability to elevate it from mere factual retelling into literary memoir. He plods along, recalling every tiny detail as if it were important for its own sake, so that the book is stuffed with childhood recollections that aren’t necessary for our understanding of his experience. And he offers almost no insight into the characters of the people involved: it’s a lot of “here’s what happened” and almost no “and here are the conclusions I’ve drawn about it,” which results in the book weirdly reading as if it were written by ten-year-old Tim. The present day Guest has almost as little perspective on the whole thing as he did as a child.
In the end, this book is more of an exorcism of a personal grievance than something that would be of any interest to anyone outside the Guest family. I was intrigued by Guest’s mother – she’s the sort of person that I want to understand better, and that’s why I read a lot of books about cults. But Guest doesn’t understand her at all, or give her much of a chance to speak for herself (a little bit at the end). Granted, he’s really mad at her and she was a truly shitty mother, but she’s also more interesting to an uninvolved reader than he is (the whole thing happened because of her choices, whereas he was just along for the ride), so it would have been nice if the book had been about her instead of about her confused, unhappy child.
Should you read it? No.
https://elizabeth.place/2016/02/14/re...
In the end, this book is more of an exorcism of a personal grievance than something that would be of any interest to anyone outside the Guest family. I was intrigued by Guest’s mother – she’s the sort of person that I want to understand better, and that’s why I read a lot of books about cults. But Guest doesn’t understand her at all, or give her much of a chance to speak for herself (a little bit at the end). Granted, he’s really mad at her and she was a truly shitty mother, but she’s also more interesting to an uninvolved reader than he is (the whole thing happened because of her choices, whereas he was just along for the ride), so it would have been nice if the book had been about her instead of about her confused, unhappy child.
Should you read it? No.
https://elizabeth.place/2016/02/14/re...
October 26, 2019
This is a book about the period when Tim's mother was a close follower of the controversial guru Osho (Rajneesh). His mother starts by attending a lecture and gets deeply involved - visiting and living in the Pune ashram of Osho and later Europe, America as well.
As he was a small boy at the time, Tim recounts much of this later. That is one of the problems of the book. There is no insight on what Tim's mother found attractive in Osho's teachings, and whether she suffered any self-doubt during much of her time as a follower. There is a touch of humour as Tim narrates the going-ons at Osho's various centres, and many episodes are fun to read.
Nevertheless, what the book lacks is depth and comes across as a very shallow recap of much of what happened at the time. Quite a bit of the latter part of the book is public knowledge as well. The story being a deeply personal one for Tim and his family is to the book's credit though.
As he was a small boy at the time, Tim recounts much of this later. That is one of the problems of the book. There is no insight on what Tim's mother found attractive in Osho's teachings, and whether she suffered any self-doubt during much of her time as a follower. There is a touch of humour as Tim narrates the going-ons at Osho's various centres, and many episodes are fun to read.
Nevertheless, what the book lacks is depth and comes across as a very shallow recap of much of what happened at the time. Quite a bit of the latter part of the book is public knowledge as well. The story being a deeply personal one for Tim and his family is to the book's credit though.
June 14, 2010
An admission: with just the title, My Life in Orange: Growing up with the Guru, I had somehow expected this to be about a child's experiences with monks. The guru, in my imagined variation, would be the Buddha, but instead, after reading the back of the book out loud to my husband, who gently chided me at my omission (is it true about 'pregnancy brain'? do I really have such enormous gaps in my thinking?), I was transmitted right back to middle school, when one of my good friends was fascinated with cultish world religions, spoke often of "Osho," called us "Beloved" and my golden retriever Maggie became "Magdalena."
One of the techniques Guest employs well is the ability to remind the reader that this is HIS journey--not a history of Baghwan Shree Rajneesh, but his childhood in a commune. He's able to bring the historical experience in by integrating it to the chronology of his narrative, so we are not left wondering what life really was like in a broader perspective; I could understand some readers taking issue with the use of a child's point-of-view without sticking to the vehicle and instead giving us an adult-as-child perspective. Guest never is overtly critical of the experience, though he peppers his story with enough examples for us to cringe at the neglect of that time; I am equally appreciative of his ability to integrate his own flaws, to remind the reader that he did not react perfectly to his surroundings, was not a fully innocent victim, so to speak (I never once felt Guest was purporting a "victimhood" stance, so my word choice is flawed).
The writing itself was matter-of-fact, much like the narrative, and the read itself was smooth. While the storytelling seemed well done, I wished the language would have been richer, more layered. Perhaps Guest's distance from figurative language best illustrates his alienation from this strangely sensual world.
One of the techniques Guest employs well is the ability to remind the reader that this is HIS journey--not a history of Baghwan Shree Rajneesh, but his childhood in a commune. He's able to bring the historical experience in by integrating it to the chronology of his narrative, so we are not left wondering what life really was like in a broader perspective; I could understand some readers taking issue with the use of a child's point-of-view without sticking to the vehicle and instead giving us an adult-as-child perspective. Guest never is overtly critical of the experience, though he peppers his story with enough examples for us to cringe at the neglect of that time; I am equally appreciative of his ability to integrate his own flaws, to remind the reader that he did not react perfectly to his surroundings, was not a fully innocent victim, so to speak (I never once felt Guest was purporting a "victimhood" stance, so my word choice is flawed).
The writing itself was matter-of-fact, much like the narrative, and the read itself was smooth. While the storytelling seemed well done, I wished the language would have been richer, more layered. Perhaps Guest's distance from figurative language best illustrates his alienation from this strangely sensual world.
April 16, 2018
This is one of the best autobiographies I have ever read. I bought it after watching the Netflix six part series 'Wild Wild Country' about Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh and his followers aka 'the orange people'. They got going in the 1970s and then moved to USA in the early 1980s where they attempted to build a new town, Rajneeshpuram, in the wilds of Oregon. Some of the people within the movement let power go to their heads and it all went horribly wrong for them and the thousands of followers in the mid 80s.
This book is written by Tim Guest who was a child during this time but lived in various communes around the world as his mother became a follower of Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh in the 70s when Tim was a toddler. Tim lived many different places in the UK, India, USA and Germany. Sometimes he went with his mother but often was left behind to be cared for by other commune members. Occasionally he rebelled and went to live with his father for periods of time. That usually involved plane journeys as an accompanied minor as his father was mostly based in California. He had the strangest childhood imaginable which he spent much of his later teens and 20s trying to come to terms with and to rebuild a relationship with his mother who he felt constantly abandoned by as she clearly put serving the commune above parenthood.
This book doesn't just document Tim's bizarre upbringing but also the real story of what was happening in the Rajneesh communes as opposed to the rather sanitised version portrayed by the Netflix series. I kept wondering why there were no babies or children despite ‘free love’ being one of the Bhagwan’s ‘principles’. The answer to this and many other puzzling things is in this book. It's a must read for anyone interested in wondering just why people follow gurus and self-declared leaders like Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh, Jim Jones, etc. A gripping read from start to finish.
This book is written by Tim Guest who was a child during this time but lived in various communes around the world as his mother became a follower of Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh in the 70s when Tim was a toddler. Tim lived many different places in the UK, India, USA and Germany. Sometimes he went with his mother but often was left behind to be cared for by other commune members. Occasionally he rebelled and went to live with his father for periods of time. That usually involved plane journeys as an accompanied minor as his father was mostly based in California. He had the strangest childhood imaginable which he spent much of his later teens and 20s trying to come to terms with and to rebuild a relationship with his mother who he felt constantly abandoned by as she clearly put serving the commune above parenthood.
This book doesn't just document Tim's bizarre upbringing but also the real story of what was happening in the Rajneesh communes as opposed to the rather sanitised version portrayed by the Netflix series. I kept wondering why there were no babies or children despite ‘free love’ being one of the Bhagwan’s ‘principles’. The answer to this and many other puzzling things is in this book. It's a must read for anyone interested in wondering just why people follow gurus and self-declared leaders like Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh, Jim Jones, etc. A gripping read from start to finish.
August 18, 2008
I read this over the weekend and found it a fascinating insight into the insane world of the religious cult.It's the memories of Tim Guest, whose mother joined Bhagwans followers in 1980 and dragged her young son around various Ashrams.This book was extremely sad, young Tim runs wild at Medina (the Orange peoples headquarters in Suffolk) with the other kids and does all the things normal kids do, but with no real love or input from his mother.When Bhagwan sets up a huge village in Oregon,and everyone has to move there, the paranoia amongst his followers becomes scary and there is the usual cult thing of Gun toting security, stockpiles of Weapons and a getaway helicopter.Tim Guest never really judges the craziness around him, just describes his memories in an undramatic way that makes it all the more shocking for the reader.
April 20, 2018
After watching Wild Wild Country on Netflix I was interested in learning more about life in the communes. This novel is from a child's perspective, and the author mainly lived in Europe, only briefly visiting the Oregon commune, but it still provides interesting insight into how children were viewed in the sannyasin culture. (Mostly left to their own devices/sannyasins were encouraged not to have children and get sterilized).
April 24, 2007
Tim was 6 when his mother decided to follow Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh. This chronicles his memories of living on various Rajneesh compounds in India, the UK, Rajneeshpuram (in Oregon), and even a school in Holland. It was fascinating. For instance, who knew that one of the leaders of this group was the only instance of biological warfare used in the United States until anthrax?
For all of the horror stories out there about cultish religions, this was more focused on his unique childhood and was more bittersweet than horrid. I want to read more about the Rajneeshees.
For all of the horror stories out there about cultish religions, this was more focused on his unique childhood and was more bittersweet than horrid. I want to read more about the Rajneeshees.
November 26, 2011
Fascinating personal story of a childhood in Bhagwani communes. Honest about the emotional neglect, and the craziness of it all, but also sympathetic in its recognition of the 'adults' as lost souls and (often desperate) seekers. Mostly personal, as I said, but also lightly seasoned with insights.
February 25, 2018
I have to agree with Elizabeth Orello; this retelling of Guest's early childhood "plods along". Near the end I was just skimming hoping it would end.
April 18, 2024
Genuinely such a difficult book to get interested in. I think you could start reading it at any point and get the gist because he’s genuinely so repetitive. I understand it’s his own experience and so I can respect that but man he should’ve gotten someone with a more interesting style of writing to help him cowrite it.
April 4, 2018
Tim Guest was born to a mother, who needed to be a part of something big. Throughout college (though it isn't clear to me if she graduated) she would join political groups of different flavors and lived in a commune for several years as well. She eventually left the commune because most of those in it were lazy and unmotivated and she was doing most of the work. She mets a man that she considers attractive and smart and suggests that he father her child. Tim is that child. His father and mother are loosely connected and eventually, Tim's father moves to the U.S. and goes to work in Silicon Valley and makes a lot of money. Meanwhile, Tim basically lives in poverty with his mother, who has become somewhat powerful within the cult she joins when he is two years old. Rajneesh is the leader of the cult and is a fairly superficial leader.
Tim and his mother move to India for several years but when Rajneesh decides that he wants to expand his "faith" to England, he appoints Tim's mom and others to return and establish a center. There is a great deal of time devoted to the lack of supervision of all the children that live in the commune. Though there is a school for them, when Tim is of age, it is more of an illusion than a structured setting. Essentially, the cult is focused on raising funds for Rajneesh and the commune and providing "counseling" to those outside the group as a form of recruitment and funding. Thus the children are of little value and they are given messages that are quite negative instead of nurturing. All toys and clothing is shared by the children and when Tim's father buys him a bike, he is enticed to trade it for toys that mean little to him. His father intervenes and his bike is once again his. Based on his mother's behavior we know that she would not have intervened. Tim spends a great amount of time trying to spend time with his mother, particularly at late night after the counseling sessions are over for the day. It is so sad and a ruling by Rajneesh states that all the adults should be parenting the children not their biological parents and effort is made to stop interactions between the children and their parents. However, his mother does try and circumvent this and little is done to prevent it. It seems as though his mother found that attaining power within the commune was more important than being a mother to Tim. Eventually, she falls out of favor with Rajneesh though we don't know exactly why or if it is that he favors others over her. She leaves when Tim is twelve. This is where I quit.
I remember 60 minutes doing a story on this group, when stories were floating around about the grandeur Rajneesh lived while his disciples were nearly penniless. I have counseled quite a few people coming out of cults and was intrigued to hear more about Tim's experiences. Frankly, it was sad as a result of the profound neglect he experienced. To be exposed to a message that you don't deserve affection or nurture by your parent is very minimizing. The isolation he experienced as a result no doubt produce deep wounds and attachment issues as an adult. One wonders why his father didn't play a more active role in his life (Tim did visit him during the summers). That said, though it was extremely detailed, the type of abuse was not as extreme as many stories I have heard or read. Like others have stated, they expected more. I feel guilty for not finishing the story as I read 2/3 but it was on hold for another reader at my library and Tim had already recounted the story of when he and his mother cut ties.
If one has little knowledge of cults and how they operate, this may be a good choice as it shows the psychological impact on a young child.
Tim and his mother move to India for several years but when Rajneesh decides that he wants to expand his "faith" to England, he appoints Tim's mom and others to return and establish a center. There is a great deal of time devoted to the lack of supervision of all the children that live in the commune. Though there is a school for them, when Tim is of age, it is more of an illusion than a structured setting. Essentially, the cult is focused on raising funds for Rajneesh and the commune and providing "counseling" to those outside the group as a form of recruitment and funding. Thus the children are of little value and they are given messages that are quite negative instead of nurturing. All toys and clothing is shared by the children and when Tim's father buys him a bike, he is enticed to trade it for toys that mean little to him. His father intervenes and his bike is once again his. Based on his mother's behavior we know that she would not have intervened. Tim spends a great amount of time trying to spend time with his mother, particularly at late night after the counseling sessions are over for the day. It is so sad and a ruling by Rajneesh states that all the adults should be parenting the children not their biological parents and effort is made to stop interactions between the children and their parents. However, his mother does try and circumvent this and little is done to prevent it. It seems as though his mother found that attaining power within the commune was more important than being a mother to Tim. Eventually, she falls out of favor with Rajneesh though we don't know exactly why or if it is that he favors others over her. She leaves when Tim is twelve. This is where I quit.
I remember 60 minutes doing a story on this group, when stories were floating around about the grandeur Rajneesh lived while his disciples were nearly penniless. I have counseled quite a few people coming out of cults and was intrigued to hear more about Tim's experiences. Frankly, it was sad as a result of the profound neglect he experienced. To be exposed to a message that you don't deserve affection or nurture by your parent is very minimizing. The isolation he experienced as a result no doubt produce deep wounds and attachment issues as an adult. One wonders why his father didn't play a more active role in his life (Tim did visit him during the summers). That said, though it was extremely detailed, the type of abuse was not as extreme as many stories I have heard or read. Like others have stated, they expected more. I feel guilty for not finishing the story as I read 2/3 but it was on hold for another reader at my library and Tim had already recounted the story of when he and his mother cut ties.
If one has little knowledge of cults and how they operate, this may be a good choice as it shows the psychological impact on a young child.
November 26, 2009
Tim Guest grew up in a number of communes in the late 1970s and early 1980s, most of them under the teachings of Indian guru Bhagwan Rajneesh. Through England, India, Oregon and Germany, Tim and his Mother live, dance, work, and play amongst thousands of other orange and burgundy-clad sannyasins in search of peace, therapy, enlightenment. The result is a childhood that is delightfully fun, free, and eccentric, though also full of neglect, confusion, and separation from his mother.
Guest writes his story so that the reader can feel what it was like to be a child in a world of spontaneity and spiritualism, and also gives us the story of Bhagwan’s global rise and fall over a decade. I have just now read the last page and already, the chapters are melting together in my mind… pages of a blind following, plenty of free love, a unique mother-son relationship, AIDs paranoia, the joys of childhood, scandal, community, manipulation. Towards the end, the systems of punishment, excommunication, and confusing shame remind me of a communist regime. Leaders are put in the lowest positions, anyone with any doubt or ‘negativity’ sent away for good.
Though most of the story is through the eyes of Tim the child (renamed ‘Yogesh’ halfway through, as every member of the community was given a new name) with little judgement, the book ends with his gathering of clues and feelings, memories and snapshots, all culminating in his understanding of what this time did to (and made of) him and his family. The story is honest without being negative, appreciative of the joys of the lifestyle without diminishing its dark side.
Guest writes his story so that the reader can feel what it was like to be a child in a world of spontaneity and spiritualism, and also gives us the story of Bhagwan’s global rise and fall over a decade. I have just now read the last page and already, the chapters are melting together in my mind… pages of a blind following, plenty of free love, a unique mother-son relationship, AIDs paranoia, the joys of childhood, scandal, community, manipulation. Towards the end, the systems of punishment, excommunication, and confusing shame remind me of a communist regime. Leaders are put in the lowest positions, anyone with any doubt or ‘negativity’ sent away for good.
Though most of the story is through the eyes of Tim the child (renamed ‘Yogesh’ halfway through, as every member of the community was given a new name) with little judgement, the book ends with his gathering of clues and feelings, memories and snapshots, all culminating in his understanding of what this time did to (and made of) him and his family. The story is honest without being negative, appreciative of the joys of the lifestyle without diminishing its dark side.
October 13, 2018
A very moving, very sad memoir about the author's childhood spent on various communes, mainly those established by the Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh. On the back of the book is a blurb saying "hilarious," which I guess meant they read a very different book from the one I did. You are tempted to say, well, I guess the central question is why do people join cults, especially abusive cults run by dictatorial leaders. But he answers that question -- that people who don't fit well into our self absorbed individualistic consumer culture crave a higher purpose, even a distorted one, and the company of a large group of like minded people in a supportive living environment, and I can really understand that. There is something very compelling about the idea of surrendering yourself (the world surrender is used a lot for a reason) to something bigger than yourself that provides for all of your needs in return for your faith and work. The problem was that the children in the communes did not choose that lifestyle and they were completely abandoned by their starry eyed parents to raise themselves. I would substitute the word "horrific" for "hilarious" because the results were incredibly sad. Children were abused in every way imaginable and you can't help but feel that the author's resilience -- his ability to hide and rebel -- were his salvation in a crazy world that wasn't built with him in mind. In fact, the Rajneesh preferred for his followers to sterilize themselves or have abortions in order to prevent them from being distracted by the presence and the all consuming needs of children.
March 16, 2015
I thought Guest did a pretty decent job at recounting his childhood while growing up on the Rajneesh commune. It can be difficult to recall memory, and remain authentic to the childhood self, tone and experience; while also needing to convey history for contextual purposes. Guest manages to do so without dishing up too much dirt on the more unethical and questionable practices of this sect. He alludes to some, but it would be unfair to disclose too much, as a child would not have had the maturity to be aware of all the negative and more criminal aspects of the culture that is primarily the only world he knows. Guest moves often, and practically raises himself, or is raised by a ragtag group of other sect children, who are permitted to freely roam without much adult guidance or supervision. He manages to survive sometimes funny, sometimes harrowing experiences, while living all over the world. The main thread running throughout the book, besides the cult-like status and almost hypnotic control rendered by the ever-present yet almost always absentee guru, is the author's love, need and blind trust for his mother, who has completely surrendered herself to the Rajneesh lifestyle. Self-possessed and unaware of her child's needs, she is ultimately and selfishly neglectful. While she was seeking bliss, he was seeking a sandwich, safety and security. Guest paints a fair, seemingly accurate, and non-biased portrait of his maroon and orange tinted childhood, and discusses his later day relationship with his mother, once they ultimately leave the guru behind.
October 18, 2009
Tim Guest (also known as Yogesh for a period of time) spent his childhood years (4 through 10) living in the communes of the guru Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh. He is pretty bitter about it because his Motherwas often living away from him and he was lonely. He feels abandoned by his parents although both actually showed him quite a bit of love and availability in my opinion.
The cult was a weird place for sure, lots of sex and violence masquerading as "enlightment", Bhagwan treated like a god. Why are people so willing to give up their own judgement in favor of a person they make into a god? Tim himself is not abused, but at best he suffers from benign neglect. There is no question that this little boy needed stable parents, he was "swinging from the chandeliers" without much supervision for most of his time in the cult. When he leaves the cult and when his mother leaves the cult, this is when things really go to hell. The cult was all the family and stability that they knew. Hope they are both doing better now.
Sometimes it seems like the saddest people are the ones with the good intentions to save the world. It should start at home, right? Love your children, love your parents, make a home.
The cult was a weird place for sure, lots of sex and violence masquerading as "enlightment", Bhagwan treated like a god. Why are people so willing to give up their own judgement in favor of a person they make into a god? Tim himself is not abused, but at best he suffers from benign neglect. There is no question that this little boy needed stable parents, he was "swinging from the chandeliers" without much supervision for most of his time in the cult. When he leaves the cult and when his mother leaves the cult, this is when things really go to hell. The cult was all the family and stability that they knew. Hope they are both doing better now.
Sometimes it seems like the saddest people are the ones with the good intentions to save the world. It should start at home, right? Love your children, love your parents, make a home.
May 6, 2017
I thoroughly enjoyed Tim Guest's humor and pathos as he recounts his bizarre childhood growing up in Indian Guru Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh's (AKA Osho's) cult of which his parents were members. His memoir is an insightful journey through the joys and angst a child experienced living from birth to late teens among people dedicated to the guru's syncretic, existentialist teachings. Rajneesh taught that surrender began with throwing out all rules and living entirely for the moment with no thought of the consequences. Such a philosophy translated into parents who were often emotionally or even physically unavailable to their child for long periods of time.
It is the story of growing up damaged by such lack of parental caring. It is growing up to realize that the parents, friends, and community who made your life miserable had childhoods too. It is, in the end, a story of coming to realize that these other people all faced inner demons every bit as real as our own.
It is the story of growing up damaged by such lack of parental caring. It is growing up to realize that the parents, friends, and community who made your life miserable had childhoods too. It is, in the end, a story of coming to realize that these other people all faced inner demons every bit as real as our own.
January 21, 2019
I only made it through the first few chapters before I gave up. It wasn't poorly written or difficult to read, but rather I became bored. I was hoping for something with more grit and emotion. Maybe that would have come in time but I didn't want to wade through pages of mundane detail before getting to something gritty. In short, what I read was mostly a light explanation of the religious cult his mum entered in to. That majority of the first few chapters were the movements of people including Guest as a child as he followed his Mum to and from India and around the UK. Everything was on the surface and I felt Guest never really expressed emotion or picked out deeply significant moments. It didn't feel like there was much of a story there, which I realise is unfair as I didn't read the entire book. So don't be deterred necessarily by my review because the book was lent to me by a friend who loved it, and I think others would enjoy it too. Just wasn't the book I expected it to be
March 31, 2016
An autobiography where Tim tells what it was like to grow up at various communes with his Mother, a follower of Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh. Everyone has to wear the colors of the sun--orange, red, maroon, salmon--hence the title. Bhagwan's eccentric version of Eastern mysticism attracts many followers who like the freedom to dance, take drugs, and have sex while following the guru. His Mom quickly becomes a teacher in the communes where she leads psychological therapy sessions. Bhagwan doesn't believe in indoctrinating kids, so the children play freely and attend classes as they want (except for Math & English which were mandatory), but usually Tim and other kids must stay in separate quarters and are pretty much ignored by their parents.
October 6, 2012
found this in a discount bin in half price books. i found this piece suspect. it's a memoir of christopher guest his life growing up in osho movement. not because its a criticism of ohso BUT as a 5 year old im supposed to believe guest has these detailed memories of conversations and minute details of events of his family at the osho compound? really a 5 year old is going to remember every word in a conversation his mother had with some random woman 30 years ago? yeah right. i am not a osho follower but i felt this was written simple defamation. also he made it sound like he had some kind of god awful heart breaking childhood. a real feel sorry for me piece. but he was a middle class white kid growing up in oregon and london. oregon is not south africa buddy
January 3, 2016
This insight into growing up in a cult isn't the over dramatic scandal you'd expect at first glance. Admittedly Guest left at age ten so wasn't a part of many activities. It ends up being more of a self-confessional about how it affected his relationship with his mother, or lack thereof.
Given his young age, it feels a stretch that Guest remembers so many minute details from the past, and I felt this book dragged on a little too long, but the afterword was probably the chapter that I found most interesting, where Guest finally starts to reconcile his childhood experience and his relationship with his mother.
Given his young age, it feels a stretch that Guest remembers so many minute details from the past, and I felt this book dragged on a little too long, but the afterword was probably the chapter that I found most interesting, where Guest finally starts to reconcile his childhood experience and his relationship with his mother.
October 10, 2007
Well, I certainly do like my memoirs, but this book had a slow start, and a slow middle, but it was worth trudging through to the end. I am amazed that there was such a following with the group described in this book. I am also shocked about the philosophy that the organization had about child rearing. For those who can read several books at a time I would suggest reading another one along with this book. It is a slow read.
January 31, 2008
The writing was pretty lackluster (and freakin' repetitive--the editor must have been out to lunch), but I did find the parts about Bhagwan Rajneesh's commune in Oregon fascinating; it's a fairly recent footnote in Oregon history that I knew almost nothing about. I'm eager to learn more about it. Hopefully, I'll find a book written by a more competent writer who doesn't have the martyr complex that Guest seems to have.
August 19, 2008
Story of Tim's life growing up with his mother on a series of religious commune's as she attempts to truly find herself. Truly could have been so much better.
I don't like Tim Guest very much. His narrative of what he did all growing up becomes really, really tedious. I became quite angry with him and kind of wished he would have left out some of the boring details. I still had to finish it however to see if it would get any better. Yeah, it didn't.
I don't like Tim Guest very much. His narrative of what he did all growing up becomes really, really tedious. I became quite angry with him and kind of wished he would have left out some of the boring details. I still had to finish it however to see if it would get any better. Yeah, it didn't.
March 20, 2014
This is an interesting story. However, having said that, I wonder how the author could recall so vividly the details of his childhood.
I'm a life long resident of Oregon. Having lived through the time of the Rajneeshis here in Oregon, this was a fascinating read, even if I do have my doubts as to the accuracy of the author's memories.
I'm a life long resident of Oregon. Having lived through the time of the Rajneeshis here in Oregon, this was a fascinating read, even if I do have my doubts as to the accuracy of the author's memories.
September 3, 2018
This was a touching and vivid account of the authors life growing up in a religious community. What I liked best is that there is not a lot of meaning made of the experience or contextualizing. It is a story told with a certain neutrality that makes it unique from other memoirs of similar cult experiences.
August 24, 2023
This book was so valuable in increasing my worldview and others experiences. The fact that so many children grew up in these commune style communities and then hand to abruptly adjust to the outside world afterwards must have been overwhelming and it was really intriguing to see a perspective of someone who went through this
July 17, 2009
Tim Guest's childhood memories of living in the communes modeled on the teaching of the "guru" Bhagwan Shtee Rajneesh. Really interesting because it was written from a child's perspective. I remember the orange dressed people on the street, going to their disco, and the stories in the news.
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