Spoon Fed: How Eight Cooks Saved My Life

by Kim Severson

From the prominent New York Times food writer, a memoir recounting the tough life lessons she learned from a generation of female cooks-including Marion Cunningham, Alice Waters, Ruth Reichl, Rachael Ray, and Marcella Hazan. Somewhere between the lessons her mother taught her as a child and the ones she is now trying to teach her own daughter, Kim Severson stumbled. She lost sight of what mattered, of who she was and who she wanted to be, and of how she wanted to live her life. It took a series of women cooks to reteach her the life lessons she forgot-and some she had never learned in the first place. Some as small as a spoonful, and others so big they saved her life, the best lessons she found were delivered in the kitchen. Told in Severson's frank, often funny, always perceptive style, Spoon Fed weaves together the stories of eight important cooks with the lessons they taught her-lessons that seemed to come right when she needed them most. We follow Kim's journey from an awkward adolescent to an adult who channeled her passions into failing relationships, alcohol, and professional ambition, almost losing herself in the process. Finally as Severson finds sobriety and starts a family of her own, we see her mature into a strong, successful woman, as we learn alongside her. An emotionally rich, multilayered memoir and an inspirational, illuminating series of profiles of the most influential women in the world of food, Spoon Fed is Severson's story and the story of the women who came before her-and ultimately, a testament to the wisdom that can be found in the kitchen.

Genres: Food, Memoir, Nonfiction, Food Writing, Cookbooks, Cooking, Biography Memoir

258 pages, Kindle Edition

First published April 29, 2010

About the author

Kim Severson has been a staff writer for the New York Times since 2004. Previously, she spent six years writing about cooking and the culture of food for the San Francisco Chronicle. Before that, she had a seven-year stint as an editor and reporter at the Anchorage Daily News in Alaska. She has won the Casey Award Medal for Meritorious Journalism on childhood obesity and four James Beard Awards for food writing."

Reviews

[Kathy · Rating 3 out of 5]

An interesting and pleasant read, but I had a couple of limitations with it.

First of all, Severson really strains on occasion to make the connection between her personal story and those of the people she's profiling. Her story is interesting, their stories are interesting, and they even fit fairly well together most of the time, making the "I'm an alcoholic! Marion Cunningham was an alcoholic!" moments feel forced and unnecessary. She would have been better off letting the reader make the connections rather than pointing them out to us in such a heavy-handed manner.

Secondly, the Ruth Reichel chapter made me really uncomfortable--and not because of her various accusations about Reichel. It's her simultaneous depiction of Reichel as the popular girl (who, of course, may have fabricated some of her books and is pretentious and ridiculous) and as someone that Severson really likes--no really. I've quite enjoyed Reichel's work and was dismayed by the accusations. But I'd be better prepared to accept them if they weren't all mixed up in this insincere mess of snark and affection. I was left with pretty strongly mixed feelings about BOTH Reichel and Severson, which I don't think was Severson's intention. It would have been a stronger book without the cattiness, even if Severson had left in the accusations.

So, flawed but interesting. Perhaps like the author.

[Lex · Rating 2 out of 5]

Based on this book and Frank Bruni's book, I'm going to go ahead and say that being completely neurotic and self-absorbed is a prerequisite to being a NYT food writer.

The bits of the book about her relationship with her mom and her mom's cooking were redeeming, though.. very sweet.

[Michele · Rating 2 out of 5]

Definitely no Ruth Reichl. I didn't care for this book because it was like the reader was watching someone try to find themselves through therapy. Maybe if she wasn't so insecure and focused more on the interesting points of her life, this book wouldn't have felt like torture.

[Beth · Rating 5 out of 5]

I started out thinking 3, maybe 4 stars, but ended up connecting with her writing on a grand scale. A food writer writing about food while writing about life itself, and slowly, her words snuck into my soul! Unexpectedly, for sure. Satisfying indeed, like a special meal? (Couldn't resist...)

[Booktart · Rating 3 out of 5]

The author rubbed me the wrong way at times, but I liked the parts about her relationship with her mother and enjoyed learning about the chefs/food people that she profiles in the book.

[Erin · Rating 2 out of 5]

it was somewhat entertaining, but overall, I thought it was sort of 'choppy' reading it......it zig-zaged in time and in thought.

[Jill Blevins · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was the perfect book for getting outside my own head, my own life, my own little worries, and living through a life that sounds kind of fun, different, odd, lucky, positive, driven, busy-busy-busy, and ultimately enviable. The voice is most important to me in a memoir and the voice of this author is so warm and personal that she's like your best friend, telling you the most interesting things about her life, stringing them together to make you feel like life has a point and that if you just keep going, you will get there.

She writes with such a positive attitude that even her drinking and overspending seem surmountable, as they eventually are. In fact, not going into dramatic details about her drinking and overspending is what I really enjoyed about this book. Well, that and all the cooks who saved her life. It felt like I was meeting these cooks, like I was learning lessons in life through their eyes and perspective, and like I was sailing through a cloud of good fortune made from a ship of can-do attitude and taking advantage of every opportunity, along with some good midwestern (and southern, and western, and northern, and ultimately eastern) grit.

After finishing this book, in about a day and half because I just wanted to be her for a while, I thought maybe the end was kind of a letdown. All the stories lead to resolution with mom and dad, and they resolve in a gentle, sweet, comforting way, yet not with Marcella Hazan. At first I was kind of annoyed. Upon reflection, I think I like this plot line better as you learn a lot from people who are not warm and welcoming - sometimes you learn more, actually. And by reading someone else's experience, you don't have to endure the nasty bits.

What a warm, tender, just plain old good writer to make me feel this good about my own life, once I returned to my own head. Yes, you can! Life is okay. You get good days even when you screw up and have too many bad days. And at the end, well is there ever an end? When you're dead, you're dead so you don't care. Before that, when you reflect, you learn how you were shaped by all your experiences, all the people in your life, and all the lessons along the way. If you are open to them, that is.

[Dawn · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you're a foodie or just enjoy memoirs you might like this one. The author has always connected with food and is a food writer for the New York Times, and writes via the memoir about other cooks, most famous, who have influenced her life.

Page 6, on sexism in politics and the role of the cookie contest and Mrs. Clinton's famous statement about staying home in the kitchen: "Having mastery of the art of cookie baking should not make one less of a person. It has, on several occasions, made me the most popular person in the room."

Page86, on growing up in the 70s: "We felt invincible, running out the screen door every morning with the kind of freedom I would crave the rest of my life."

Page 104, on moving from San Fransisco to New York City: "I quickly saw that New York City was extreme in the way Alaska was extreme. Although one was as barren and rural as the other was crowded and urban, they were both wild and impersonal. In either place, make a big enough mistake and you are instantly part of the food chain."

Page 165, on meeting Edna Lewis: "The life she would later write about in her books centered on cooking for Baptist revivals, holidays or just because it was morning and a family breakfast on a farm in the South matters."

Page 190, on helping aging parents: "There comes a point when you realize it is time to show up for your parents, no matter what has passed between you or how you were raised or how busy you are."

Page 237, on lessons from her mother: "Of all the lessons I have learned from the wise women of the kitchen - that I can always start over, to be true to myself, to stop measuring myself against other people, to have faith and humility and to always stay close to family - it came down to this. The past is past and I have no control over the future."

As I read these last words I smiled and wished Ms. Severson and her family well. May her relationship with her wife and her young daughter bring her joy. And may she continue to make people happy by enjoying good food and writing about it.

[Nikki · Rating 3 out of 5]

When a friend passed this book to me, I didn't realize it was written by a NY Times food writer. Because I expected a more personal memoir, I was originally throw off by what felt like a list of name-drops thinly veiled as personal story. Some of the chapters felt rich and genuine, including a few of the ones featuring big-name food folks, but particularly the ones that dove deeper into the author's own story.

Why are nearly all the writer's influential, life-changing chef friends famous? What about ordinary cooks and food people? Were none of them ever able to offer her a lasting nugget or wisdom? I doubt it.

I managed to get past the name-drop feeling about two thirds of the way through, which helped make the closing chapters more pleasant. Overall worth reading despite its vague sense of who's-who bragging.

[Maggie Creamer · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this book to be a fun, quick read! Each chapter is about a new cook who influenced the author so I was able to read it with other books, almost as a short story collection. I love that as the Kim Severson meets the cooks around the country she is also learning lessons in her own life. Also, I have an interest in food writing so it was interesting to get a behind-the-scenes look from a writer who makes food accessible.

[Marjorie Elwood · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gorgeously written, this is about the eight women who have had a huge impact on the author's life. It's emotionally intense, covering such topics as being gay, going sober, and the relationship with one's parents. I love that she is passionate about all food and adheres to James Beard's comment: "A hot dog or a truffle. Good is good."

The book includes recipes I'm looking forward to trying.

[Kate McDougall Sackler · Rating 2 out of 5]

I didn’t love this book. It was less a memoir about influential women who shaped this food writer’s life, and more a who’s who of American female chefs and food writers. I felt all the descriptions of other people had a bit of a negative spin and that the author was trying a bit too hard to find the links between their stories and her own. I did like the included recipes.
Nursery rhyme challenge-spoon

[Rich · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve not previously read a “food memoir” but I sure loved this one! I enjoyed the blend of culinary adventures and little life truisms. Really easy to read, with good messages and some tasty-sounding recipes to boot.

[amyleigh · Rating 1 out of 5]

I like the premise of this book -- lessons learned from a lifetime of writing food stories -- but I found the narrative itself quite dull. Anyways, there were some nice parts about the perfect waffles and how it feels to taste something for the first time.

[Dru · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars--well written (and I would hope so, since Severson is a writer!) memoir with great stories of female chefs she's encountered. Enjoyable if you know the names Marion Cunningham, Alice Waters, Marcella Hazan.

[Kalle Wescott · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read /Spoon Fed: How Eight Cooks Saved My Life/, by former San Francisco Chronicle food writer Kim Severson:

https://www.nytimes.com/2010/05/09/bo...

The section on Alice Waters and Chez Panisse was particularly enjoyable and illuminating.

[Hollie · Rating 2 out of 5]

DNF

[Renee · Rating 4 out of 5]

Tender and illuminating.

[Blair · Rating 2 out of 5]

We don't share the same sense of humor.

[Patrick Bair · Rating 4 out of 5]

Charming, thoughtful, expressive and loving portrait

[Brooke · Rating 4 out of 5]

263: 2023
The construct is simple, and the lessons not incredibly unique but kind of profound in their simplicity and universality. A straightforward memoir and a good read.

[Shelly Rarick · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really enjoyed most of this book. The author got a little too preachy a few times which threw off the pace of the story, which is why I only gave it three stars.

[Christine Zibas · Rating 4 out of 5]

A food writer for the “New York Times,” Kim Severson takes a different look at the subject of food in this memoir. Approaching it from the life lessons hidden in her journey through a career immersed in food, it is perhaps just as much biographical as autobiographical. That is, she writes with candor about many of the important women in food who have influenced her life. These are real flesh and blood portraits, with flaws fully exposed.

No one’s life comes under finer scrutiny in “Spoon Fed” than Severson’s own, however. She begins the story when her food writing career takes off. Newly sober after a long battle with alcoholism, Severson embarks on a career at the “San Francisco Chronicle,” more than a little ironic perhaps because of the local food scene’s emphasis on the wine culture of Napa and Sonoma. Severson is also struggling in her personal relationships (she is a lesbian in a new relationship), as well as trying to find her place within her own family, who like many cut from Midwest cloth, just don’t talk about sex, much less homosexuality.

Facing her demons and the challenge of moving to an innovative food and wine-centered location after years of living in Alaska, Severson succeeds despite her own expectations. She eventually goes on to win several James Beard Awards for her food writing and lands a plum spot at the coveted “New York Times,” a dream that perhaps surpasses her goals. Along the way, she’s awed and intimidated by the doyennes of the food business: Alice Waters, Marion Cunningham, Ruth Reichl, and Marcella Hazan, among others.

Severson is able to gain insight and knowledge from each of eight featured women, including her first cooking inspiration-her own mother, who along with her own sisters (Severson’s aunts) finds herself competing over whose version of Italian red sauce in the family is best. What the author is able to take away from these women, even more than their collective cooking expertise, are lessons about living.

Cooking, here, is both a way to enjoy life and a way to handle what life throws in your way to happiness. Simple messages (staying true to yourself, persevering when it seems impossible, being able to reinvent yourself, and others) are illustrated through the grit and determination of these women who have managed to rise through the largely male-dominated business of fine food.

The lessons shared with Severson’s readers in “Spoon Fed” seem to come effortlessly, wrapped in writing so homey and sincere that it’s hard to imagine the rarefied setting that all this insight emerged from. That is to say, Severson has a true gift for boiling it all down to human frailty and hard work, to making these hard-driven women who never gave up on their way up the ladder to success seem ordinary and humble. Whether it’s Alice Waters creating a food revolution in Berkeley or Rachel Ray creating a multimedia empire by providing dinner in 30 minutes, each is made human with Severson’s touch.

“Spoon Fed” is about cooking (recipes included), the food industry, and making the most of the life lessons you need to build a world that’s perfect for you. These industry giants have more to teach than the secrets of food, they appear to have some lessons about life as well.

[Patrice Sartor · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found this title very easy to read; Severson's writing flows easily and smoothly. I chuckled out loud in a few spots. I also liked reading the author's views on the 8 female cooks that "saved her life". I was unfamiliar with some of them, and enjoyed learning about them. The descriptions and discussions of food are solid, and I was tempted to try several of the included recipes as a result. I didn't, though a friend told me that all of the recipes are on Severson's web site. Cool.

What keeps this book from earning a higher score from me is the tone and repetition, and to a lesser degree the name-dropping (since that is to be expected in this book). Severson is an alcholic, a recovering one for most of the book--we do not get to read any detailed stories about the bad days of drinking, just generalities. Severson is a lesbian. Severson has (had?) mother issues, self-esteem and confidence problems, and went through a number of bad relationships before finding her wife. There is nothing wrong with any of this information on its own, and the way the author tells it does add to the overall story. Yet she repeats these things until I felt like I was being pounded over the head with them. YES, I get it. You cannot drink, you're an alcoholic!!! I didn't really understand why she felt there were difficulties with her mother, but I didn't need to hear about that repeatedly (or any of the other things) either.

A member of my book club pointed out a possible reason for this--several of these stories were originally published in the newspaper (she initially wrote for the Chronicle, and later The New York Times). If treated separately, I can see how the author would need to keep mentioning these aspects of her life. So maybe it's the editor's fault? I don't know, I just know it bugged me enough to keep it at 3 stars. :)

[cat · Rating 3 out of 5]

i am a sucker for foodie memoirs - food + words = my perfect book. and addd in that it is by a woman food writer/critic with an illustrious career at such vaunted institutions as the NY Times? and that she is a dyke? *and* that chronicles the ways that 8 other famous female chefs mentored her, taught her life lessons, or otherwise contributed to her general well being and you have got a winner, my friends! except, well, that it wasn't. i expected to have this be a 5 star review, and instead it is a tepid 3 star affair, largely owing to the fact that i wanted more. more of the personal story that she tried to weave in to her anecdotes about the female chefs that make up the 8 of her subtitle - and that include such luminaries as Marcella Hazen and Alice Waters- and frankly, more than what she gave us of those 8. the book ended up with a feeling of an extended name-dropping session rather than the very personal homage that i believed it would be. what is interesting to me is that right smack dab in the middle of her book, the author actually chides herself for just that name-dropping, 'look at me, i know celebrities' kind of behavior when she pulls out her cell phone and makes her family listen to a voicemail from rachel ray. and really? of all of the amazing chefs in this book, it is rachel ray that gets passed around the table to be listened to in a tinny voicemail on a mobile phone? i think that describes the problems of this book better than i ever could.

[Bettyann · Rating 4 out of 5]

An awesome writer, Kim Severson. First work I've read of hers, but I'll be looking for more. Not only did I learn a lot about cooking--Italian style, a favorite--I learned some things about myself, if you can believe that. Of course, this is a coming-of-age story, and sometimes we come of age all over again by reading certain books. This was one of them.

I liked her story about the painted black dining room table and inheriting it from her parents when they downsize to a condo:

"It's the dining room table I grew up with. The place where the special meals were served. I have eaten hundreds of plates of spaghetti on it. I feel the need to keep it, to pass it on to my children. I want to say, 'This was your grandmother's table.' I want them to know what I learned when I went home. That we are a people who can always make do, no matter what. And that you can never really know who you are until you know where you came from. And then I will make them sit down and eat spaghetti, and tell them the story of the red-sauce trail."

"That we are a people who can always make do, no matter what." The author shares some of my important view on life.

And I too never really knew who I was until I knew where I came from. That's what my own memoir is all about. I tried to get away from where I came from. And I did. But I left an awful lot behind that is all about who I am.

Highly recommend reading if you like food memoirs, or just good memoirs, period.

[Heather · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book! I think I heard about it on a blog and don't recall much about what the blogger said but put it on my library list and up it popped and I started reading. From the beginning I really liked it. At times I felt like the writing or story telling was sort of choppy yet it all came together, every story. I loved the recipes (and now want to buy the book to have access to them) and just, in general, really appreciated her life lessons. I feel like she is a bit of a kindred spirit.

One of my favorites excerpts was the following passage talking about her mom's table she has kept:
"The place where the special meals were served. I have eaten hundreds of plates of spaghetti on it. I feel the need to keep it, to pass it on to my children. I want to say, "This was your grandmother's table." I want them to know what I learned when I went home. That we are a people who can always make do, no matter what. And that you can never really know who you are until you know where you came from."

(especially poignant as I have my grandparents first table from when they were married and love it for that and for the hundreds of informal family meals eaten at it.. for me the special meals were the informal ones)

Yeah...just reading that again makes me well up a little. Also what I loved about this book was the history lesson on Alice Waters, Marion Cunningham, Edna Lewis, etc. All very interesting ... Yes - I would highly recommend this book!!!

[Jacqie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a well-written, dishy little food memoir. Kim Severson is bravely honest about her past addictions, relationship problems, and feelings about God without becoming maudlin. It will help to know the players in her book; such as Alice Waters, Ruth Reichl, and Marcella Hazan. The author is probably going to get some flak for her characterizations of some famous people. She talks about their flaws, albeit with affection.
I was surprised by the foodie community reaction (according to Severson) to Ruth Reichl's books. I always felt that Ruth was being honest about feeling her way- I never saw her as self-satisfied or smug. I guess insecurity can really color a person's point of view. And it helps to remember that these profiles are very much the author's point of view.
I teared up at the section about Edna Lewis and Scott Peacock. They are a pair that I feel very close to, although I've never met either of them and probably never will. Their ability to forge a family out of affinity is so admirable. I feel such sympathy for Scott having lost his mentor and hope he struggles on. I own the cookbook they wrote together as well as "Taste of Country Cooking." Having an affinity for things Southern, even though it's not my ancestry, I treasure their take on growing, fresh things that can be turned into deliciousness.

[Emily · Rating 3 out of 5]

I met the author when she came to Google to do research on our organic garden. She's quite the trip (like, a powerhouse, funny, self deprecating, self aware, assertive), so when I heard she was writing a book I made a mental note to read it. I did enjoy it -- if you like food gossip you will like this, as there is a lot of it about Ruth Reichl, Alice Waters, etc. It made me want to BE a food writer. As if I didn't already. It was also just a fun look at California and the Bay Area in a certain time. Plus, Kim's got some good stories and has met some good people. She's one of those people who you imagine just STUMBLES on fascinating stories and things everyday. So why 3 stars? Well, the "saved my life" premise just didn't hold up. It promised too much. the 8 cooks? they're awesome. Did they save her life? Doesn't seem like it... just seems like a sorta flimsy thing to wrap around a memoir. Kim seems like she saved her life herself. Related, I do feel like there's a bit too much repetition, around the same themes (being an alcoholic, being sober, being lesbian, etc), without really getting deep into what it actually felt like. It felt like she was holding back on me on that stuff, and so she kinda lost me. Still. Fun. There were some recipes I wish I'd copied down.

[Rogue Reader · Rating 3 out of 5]

Spoon Fed is about the making and maturation of a food writer. Kim Severson grew up well loved and taken care of as a member of the Severson tribe - spoon fed, perhaps, but always feeling an outsider. Alcohol fueled her early adult years and nearly destroyed her even as Severson honed her craft, writing for the Alaska Daily News. Severson's culinary narrative traces her writing at the San Francisco Chronicle and later at the New York Times. Spoon fed might also refer to the eight women who are featured in the work, who nutured those around them with everyday cooking, comfort food. In the shadow of haute cuisine, these women helped gain credibility and respect for the everyday table as a symbol of love and care.

Marion Cunningham, Alice Waters, Ruth Reichl, Marcella Hazen, Rachael Ray, Edna Lewis, Leah chase and Kim's mother Anne-Marie Zappa Serson are the women Severson interviews and writes about. These women are well known in culinary history and there's lots already written about them. Severson's work puts these their accomplishments in later perspective because the women are older, some have passed, and others are further ahead in their careers.

--Ashland Mystery