First Comes Love

by Douglas E. Brinley, Mark D. Ogletree

Following the runaway success of the best-selling book, Between Husband and Wife, thousands of parents, bishops, stake presidents, and counselors have asked for a book about dating and courtship for younger members of the Church. First Comes Love is that book.

With insight, wisdom, and wit, Drs. Brinley and Ogletree write about:

Preparing for marriage now
Maintaining an eternal perspective
Becoming the “right” person before you find the “right” person
Planning to marry in the temple
Intimacy in marriage
Practical money management practices
Preparing for marital differences
And much more


As President Gordon B. Hinckley said, “The most important step you have made or will make in your life is marriage. Its consequences are many, so important and so everlasting. No other decision will have such tremendous consequences for the future.” For couples who are seriously dating or are already engaged, First Comes Love will provide needed perspective and will help prepare anyone for the tremendous blessings and inevitable challenges of marriage.

Genres: Religion, Nonfiction, Lds, Relationships, Marriage, Self Help, Church

250 pages, Hardcover

First published March 28, 2002

Reviews

[Jamie · Rating 5 out of 5]

My husband & I read this book the summer before we got married. It was a really good couples read, and opened up a lot of topics of conversation. The perfect preparation for marriage, it covered communication issues, expectations, financial practices, and pretty much anything else that can make or break a marriage. We were both glad we read it, especially during the first few months of being married, because it smoothed out the transition phase a little, and gave us a heads up of what to look out for.

[Raini · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book cover to cover and so did my husband. It is great for those that are thinking of marrying someone. Both parties need to read it. It brings reality into the love of two young people, making sure you know what you're doing. I appreciate what it taught me more than anything really.

[Angie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was *really* torn as to how to rate this book. I really, really disliked much of the first half. I felt like there was such shaming language, that only spoke to the authors ideal. This book was obviously not written with single adults, divorcées, or anyone outside of the “traditional mold” in mind. There were some pretty strong statements made that, frankly, I don’t agree with.
However, once I reached the second half of the book, I found myself actually wanting to read it. I particularly enjoyed the chapters on communication and centering our lives on Jesus Christ. Sure, there were a few comments that I still didn’t love, but they became few and far between.

Would I recommend this book to someone? Honestly, probably not. (Especially not someone that doesn’t have belief in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The strong opinions stated in the first part can be hurtful and may, in my opinion, poorly and inaccurately represent the teachings of the Church.)

If I could pull out the chapters that focus on the Savior, those are definitely words I would share and recommend to others. So… like I mentioned, I have very mixed feelings.
It’s unusual to have such love and hate all for the same book. Maybe if you read it, just start halfway through?

[Ryceejo · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read it for the second time with Scott. It took a long time to get through it since we read it out loud but we drew a few good things from it. We had to take a lot of "advice" and statements with a grain of salt, but I will say it is a good read since I have not yet found a better marriage prep book. My favorite part is still the last chapter on building a Christ-centered marriage.

[Emmalee Carter Allen · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must read for anyone dating....or even thinking about dating! I’m probably going to force all my future children to read this book once they are 16... The author is real and he shares his opinion without shoving it down your throat! Great read! ...not gonna lie the cover is cheesy.. I hid it while I read the book... other than that 👍🏼

[Wachlin007 Hotmail · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is written by Latter-day Saint authors and talks about what couples can do to strengthen their relationships, have succesful courtships and then succesful marriages. I enjoyed it and think it gives a lot of good advice.

[Maria · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a great book to read together with that special someone with whom things are getting serious, but before you get too serious. Among other things the author does a great job of raising important questions that not only you should ask your special-someone, but you should know about yourself.

[Gina Flanders · Rating 3 out of 5]

Targets engaged couples. My husband Matt and I read together while we were engaged . . over the phone. Most of our engagement was long distance and this gave us something to do together over the phone. For that reason, I really enjoyed this book.

[Raven · Rating 5 out of 5]

I simply loved this book. I feel that it really prepared me for marriage and helped to focus on the quailities I was searching for in a husband. It also helped me to improve myself to become a better wife.

[Jason · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you're a Mormon and you're going to get married soon, you should read this book.

[Ariel · Rating 4 out of 5]

sean & i read this together before we got married. it was very helpful & interesting.

[Jesica · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this when dating Phillip, and really enjoyed it!

[Melissa]

This is a fantastic book. I read it after I broke up with my fiance, Brad. It cleared things up in my mind that had been bothering me. I am actually re-reading it now for a refresher.

[Marissa Coles · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved it! I felt like I needed alot of help. This book was comical, enjoyable and applicable.

[Georgie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought this book was very helpful. It made me think about things I wouldn't have!!

[Jacquie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great book for teens and tweens -- it helped me identify what was most important to me as I dated, and helped me recognize what I personally needed to improve on before marriage.

[Cassie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a must read before marriage

[Libby · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book for people like me who are single!!!

[Amber · Rating 5 out of 5]

PG

I loved this book! It brought up a lot of "issues" that I've had i.e. sex is preached as bad and not to do it until you're married, and then it's okay.

[Katie Bastian · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is INCREDIBLE. It's perfect for a serious couple OR just a single person who wants to know how they can better prepare for serious dating and marriage.

[Lanetta · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is such a great book. Its all about how people should prepare themselves for life after the weding before they get married. There are some great dicussion questions and worksheets.

[Greg · Rating 4 out of 5]

Super helpful to dating / engaged couples.

[Sydney · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was assigned for a class. We read the chapters out of order, but it was still a good book.

[Katy Westenskow · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good reference book for marriage or while engaged!

[Suzy · Rating 2 out of 5]

I learned some things, but it was so Utah. Men Are From Mars is a much better marriage prep book!

[Tyler · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book had some good things to say to individuals or couples who are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints who are dating or engaged and seriously preparing for and considering marriage. I didn't totally agree with everything the authors said, and sometimes they made generalizations that aren't totally accurate or universally true and applicable, but overall there was a lot of good and worthwhile content in this book. It was a useful addition to my self-education about marriage and relationships.

[Aaron Ashton · Rating 5 out of 5]

Listened to the CD version of the book. There is a lot of wisdom from the writers, who also quoted words of the Brethren and verses of scripture. I definitely want this in my home library for a reference. This is a must-have for anyone single or newly married, even for those who have been married for a while.

[Danielle · Rating 3 out of 5]

I don't know...I have mixed feelings about this book. Sometimes I felt I really did not agree with the authors, that what they were saying was a very "fire and brimstone" approach to dating and engagement. But then ocassionally I DID agree with what they were saying. Hence the mixed feelings...

[Kylie · Rating 4 out of 5]

A wonderful collection of instructions to prepare people for marriage. Timeless principles set in modern examples. Wish I'd read this to prepare myself better for marriage :)

[Adrian · Rating 4 out of 5]

Had to read this for school