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Never be Lied to Again: How to Get the Truth in Five Minutes or Less in Any Conversation or Situation
How many times have you been manipulated or taken advantage of by someone's lies? Are you tired of being deceived, tricked, and fooled? Finally, renowned psychologist David J. Lieberman shows you how to stop the lies and uncover the truth -- in any conversation or situation.
Utilizing newly developed techniques, this audiobook tells you how to easily influence anyone to tell the truth -- within minutes. Never Be Lied To Again is chock-full of colorful examples and engaging scenarios to help give you that extra edge. Use these groundbreaking techniques to take control of every personal and business situation...and never be lied to again.
Utilizing newly developed techniques, this audiobook tells you how to easily influence anyone to tell the truth -- within minutes. Never Be Lied To Again is chock-full of colorful examples and engaging scenarios to help give you that extra edge. Use these groundbreaking techniques to take control of every personal and business situation...and never be lied to again.
Audiobook
First published January 1, 1998
About the author
David J. Lieberman
43 books316 followersDavid J. Lieberman, PhD, is a renowned psychotherapist and the author of eleven books, including the New York Times bestsellers Get Anyone to Do Anything and Never Be Lied to Again. He has trained personnel in the U.S. military, the FBI, the CIA, and the NSA, and his instructional video is mandatory for psychological operations graduates.
He teaches government negotiators, mental health professionals, and Fortune 100 executives, and has appeared as a guest on more than 300 television and radio programs, including the Today show, NPR, and The View.
He teaches government negotiators, mental health professionals, and Fortune 100 executives, and has appeared as a guest on more than 300 television and radio programs, including the Today show, NPR, and The View.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 127 reviews
March 29, 2009
This book doesn't really give out much new information about picking up when a person is lying. It covers body language and the like, nothing really new.
My problem with the book are a couple of things; One, it doesn't talk about what to do with the information once you know if someone is lying, and that sometimes you're just better off letting people lie. Two, it asks you to lie in order to catch a person in the lie; where does it make sense to lie to catch a lie? Aren't you just as bad as the liar? Three, one of the options to lead a person to confess is to offer "a easy out" the book never says if you are to follow through with this or not. I would guess a person shouldn't, but if you offer it then go back on it then once again you are as bad as the liar.
My problem with the book are a couple of things; One, it doesn't talk about what to do with the information once you know if someone is lying, and that sometimes you're just better off letting people lie. Two, it asks you to lie in order to catch a person in the lie; where does it make sense to lie to catch a lie? Aren't you just as bad as the liar? Three, one of the options to lead a person to confess is to offer "a easy out" the book never says if you are to follow through with this or not. I would guess a person shouldn't, but if you offer it then go back on it then once again you are as bad as the liar.
March 10, 2018
قشنگ بعد از خوندنش دستگاه دروغ سنج میشی. من هر از چندگاهی دوباره مروش میکنم
December 14, 2012
I won't quite call this quackery, but I'm pretty dubious as to the actual uses of this book. I even tried out some of the methods in here and even though I knew the people I asked weren't going to lie to me, according to this book, they were. But I'll get into that later.
Never Be Lied To Again goes through all the different ways of lying, how to determine if someone is lying, how to get to them to tell the truth, and other strategies you could ever want to know. It helps determine body language, phrases used by liars, and methods they use to cover up their lies. It also tells you how to coax the truth out by different methods of interrogation or giving people the "easy way" out of a lie. It says that you can get to the truth in five minutes by using these methods.
Ok, well here's the problem. In order to begin to memorize these strategies and use them, it's going to take way more than five minutes. In fact, by the time you get the hang of it, you may not even need the skill anymore. And then there are the dubious ways that you would go about getting the answer you want. A lot of it involves lying yourself, which I've always heard two wrongs don't make a right. And then there's the promising good things will happen if the person tells the truth, without really saying if you should back it up. If you lie about not getting mad, etc. the person is only going to believe you once, and this method will become ineffectual after the second time. In fact, the whole process for ferreting out a lie seems sleazy and relationship damaging. Especially if the person you suspect is lying, is telling the truth.
Then there's the recognizing if someone is a liar or not. There are some well known truthful ways to determine that in here. For example, body language and no eye contact. But then there's the little test I ran. The book says that if someone is recalling a memory, they look up and to the opposite side of their dominant hand. If they are making it up, they look up and to the same side as their dominant hand. I walked up to my mother (who did not know the book I was reading) and asked her what the color of her first car was. She looked up and to the left (she's left handed) and said that it was copper. And she has the pictures to back up the fact she was telling the truth. Ok, that was one time, I did the same thing with my brother, asking him a memory question and he looked me straight in the eye when he answered. So to me, even though I know this wasn't a full experiment, it was a pretty big clue that not everything in this book is true or useful.
Another criticism I would have is that aside from a couple sentences, the book doesn't go into socio-paths, mental disease, and other types of people that this book would have no bearing on. If you don't care that you're lying, believe your lie is the truth, or are convinced that your lie is in the best interest of everyone, nothing is this book is going to work at ferreting out that lie. And having been in a relationship with two liars, one of which would probably have admitted to things using a couple of the applicable yet sleazy methods in this book and one who was a socio-path and lied because he had no care of its effect, I can say firsthand that it is the second person who scares me the most. Not the first. Lies, while they hurt, are easier to deal with than someone who can lie without impunity and not care about its effects.
To just comment on the overall writing style of the book. It's written in a clear precise way with bullet points outlining the helpful steps and tips. I can't find fault with the way the book is formatted. It also reads simplistic, and easy to understand for most anyone who would pick this book up.
I know I sound rough on this book, but I really didn't find it helpful at all. I would never practice the methods here for fear of becoming a worse person (and a liar) myself. If I suspect someone of lying and need to use the methods here, it's probably best I don't associate with that person at all instead of going through all the trouble this book suggests. Not a book I would recommend to anyone.
Never Be Lied To Again
Copyright 1998
205 pages
Review by M. Reynard 2013
More of my reviews can be found at www.ifithaswords.blogspot.com
Never Be Lied To Again goes through all the different ways of lying, how to determine if someone is lying, how to get to them to tell the truth, and other strategies you could ever want to know. It helps determine body language, phrases used by liars, and methods they use to cover up their lies. It also tells you how to coax the truth out by different methods of interrogation or giving people the "easy way" out of a lie. It says that you can get to the truth in five minutes by using these methods.
Ok, well here's the problem. In order to begin to memorize these strategies and use them, it's going to take way more than five minutes. In fact, by the time you get the hang of it, you may not even need the skill anymore. And then there are the dubious ways that you would go about getting the answer you want. A lot of it involves lying yourself, which I've always heard two wrongs don't make a right. And then there's the promising good things will happen if the person tells the truth, without really saying if you should back it up. If you lie about not getting mad, etc. the person is only going to believe you once, and this method will become ineffectual after the second time. In fact, the whole process for ferreting out a lie seems sleazy and relationship damaging. Especially if the person you suspect is lying, is telling the truth.
Then there's the recognizing if someone is a liar or not. There are some well known truthful ways to determine that in here. For example, body language and no eye contact. But then there's the little test I ran. The book says that if someone is recalling a memory, they look up and to the opposite side of their dominant hand. If they are making it up, they look up and to the same side as their dominant hand. I walked up to my mother (who did not know the book I was reading) and asked her what the color of her first car was. She looked up and to the left (she's left handed) and said that it was copper. And she has the pictures to back up the fact she was telling the truth. Ok, that was one time, I did the same thing with my brother, asking him a memory question and he looked me straight in the eye when he answered. So to me, even though I know this wasn't a full experiment, it was a pretty big clue that not everything in this book is true or useful.
Another criticism I would have is that aside from a couple sentences, the book doesn't go into socio-paths, mental disease, and other types of people that this book would have no bearing on. If you don't care that you're lying, believe your lie is the truth, or are convinced that your lie is in the best interest of everyone, nothing is this book is going to work at ferreting out that lie. And having been in a relationship with two liars, one of which would probably have admitted to things using a couple of the applicable yet sleazy methods in this book and one who was a socio-path and lied because he had no care of its effect, I can say firsthand that it is the second person who scares me the most. Not the first. Lies, while they hurt, are easier to deal with than someone who can lie without impunity and not care about its effects.
To just comment on the overall writing style of the book. It's written in a clear precise way with bullet points outlining the helpful steps and tips. I can't find fault with the way the book is formatted. It also reads simplistic, and easy to understand for most anyone who would pick this book up.
I know I sound rough on this book, but I really didn't find it helpful at all. I would never practice the methods here for fear of becoming a worse person (and a liar) myself. If I suspect someone of lying and need to use the methods here, it's probably best I don't associate with that person at all instead of going through all the trouble this book suggests. Not a book I would recommend to anyone.
Never Be Lied To Again
Copyright 1998
205 pages
Review by M. Reynard 2013
More of my reviews can be found at www.ifithaswords.blogspot.com
November 3, 2020
I listened to the audo version of this book. It wasn't the best way to understand the information presented. The author presents ways to tell if someone is lying, through observation and recognizing patterns of speech and actions. Much of the book describes using interactions with the possible liar to ensnare or cajole the person into admitting their lies. Interesting, but practical? Not so much. There are quite a few methods, and the author suggests in places to try them in order until you have an understanding or a confession. On audio, it is just too difficult to remember this list and the order. I can see reading the book, and referring to it when looking for "tells", but the audio isn't much help for that. Overall, though, I liked the concept of having a way to tell if someone is lying. I've read other books on the topic, and this seems more packed with details and examples. However, many of the methods described involve verbal trickery to come up with an answer, so may involve some morally questionable tactics. So I wasn't satisfied. What I'd like is a foolproof method you could learn in 5 minutes or less, and we aren't there yet.
April 16, 2009
I have not yet finished reading this one, and, have already been able to successfully put many of Lieberman's techniques into practice. When I asked my 4 year old if he had put away his clothes, I noticed that he enthusiastically answered "yes," as his gaze shifted downward. when I asked him if I went to look, would I find them put away, he responded "oh, no, I forgot," and ran out of the room. maybe it seems like common sense to many, but, previously, I would not have followed through, just believed him when he said yes, then been angry when I found he had not told me the truth. (watching "Lie To Me" on Fox, wed. nights at 8pm also reinforces these concepts.) a must read for anyone interested in improving communication skills and ability to "read" another!
Advanced Conversation Stoppers: Trance Phrases
"Why are you asking me what I don't know for sure?"
"Do you really believe what you thought you knew?"
"Could you give me....an example....would be helpful."
"You can pretend anything and master it."
"I understand what you're....saying....it doesn't make it true."
"Your question is what you knew it would be, isn't it?"
"Your response says what you're unaware of."
"If you expected me to believe that, you wouldn't have said it."
"How do you stop a thought once you get it?"
"Do you believe that you knew what you thought?"
"Why would you believe something that's not true?"
"Why are you agreeing with what you already know?"
"What happens when you get a thought?"
"The less you try, the more you'll agree...."
"Are you unaware of what you forgot?"
Advanced Conversation Stoppers: Trance Phrases
"Why are you asking me what I don't know for sure?"
"Do you really believe what you thought you knew?"
"Could you give me....an example....would be helpful."
"You can pretend anything and master it."
"I understand what you're....saying....it doesn't make it true."
"Your question is what you knew it would be, isn't it?"
"Your response says what you're unaware of."
"If you expected me to believe that, you wouldn't have said it."
"How do you stop a thought once you get it?"
"Do you believe that you knew what you thought?"
"Why would you believe something that's not true?"
"Why are you agreeing with what you already know?"
"What happens when you get a thought?"
"The less you try, the more you'll agree...."
"Are you unaware of what you forgot?"
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 1, 2022
An interesting and somewhat useful book. I've known some of the techniques detailed here but more than enough were new to make it worth while.
Many of the reviews had serious problems with the second half of the book, where Lieberman talks about ways to get the truth out of people. Many of the techniques involved deception and that completely ruined it for them. Well, it depends a lot on what lie is being told. Is you kid lying about some minor infraction, or are you trying to get to the bottom of embezzlement? Just use your head and use techniques appropriately, they're not all equal.
It's quite a short read and there is much to like. I gave it a 4.
Many of the reviews had serious problems with the second half of the book, where Lieberman talks about ways to get the truth out of people. Many of the techniques involved deception and that completely ruined it for them. Well, it depends a lot on what lie is being told. Is you kid lying about some minor infraction, or are you trying to get to the bottom of embezzlement? Just use your head and use techniques appropriately, they're not all equal.
It's quite a short read and there is much to like. I gave it a 4.
May 19, 2024
Kam lexuar deri tek faqja 67 por eshte è pamundur te vijoj me tej. Për të gjithë ata që kanë lexuar rreth gjuhës së trupit dhe psikologjisë është një libër që nuk jep shumë. Disa metoda të cilat duken të shkuara në kohë që nuk vertetojne asgjë sepse shpesh sjelljet, fjalite e thena analizohen nga një tërësi rrethanash è jo thjesht nga disa pyetje e pohime.
December 31, 2022
This book is an absolute life changer! After reading it, I discovered that all of my relatives, friends, and acquaintances have been LYING to me. Even MY CAT has been deceiving me, the greedy gremlin that he is. Because of this revelation, I've decided to cut contact with these cheats and perjurers, sell all my belongings, and move to the Appalachian Mountains to live in a one-room cabin in the woods and eat beans out of rusty cans for the rest of my life. This is my last contact with the real world before I go to let you know that you, too, should buy this book and be enlightened.
Am I lying? You'll have to read the book to find out.
On a more serious note, while this book was interesting, it attributed too many characteristics to lying and gave unrealistic scenarios. Additionally, it encouraged lying yourself to get the truth out of someone, a tactic that is both hypocritical and would probably backfire in the long run.
Am I lying? You'll have to read the book to find out.
On a more serious note, while this book was interesting, it attributed too many characteristics to lying and gave unrealistic scenarios. Additionally, it encouraged lying yourself to get the truth out of someone, a tactic that is both hypocritical and would probably backfire in the long run.
February 18, 2011
من أروع الكتب التي قرأتها .. لغه بسيطه .. أمثله رائعه يمكن تطبيقها بسهوله .. يظهر لنا مدى صدق البعض من خلال الكثير من المواقف .. والتشديد على بعض الألفاظ أثناء أحاديثهم .. باختصار هذا الكتاب يعلمك كيف تستدرج الشخص الذي أمامك للإعتراف بما تريد بمنتهى الهدوء .. ربما هناك بعض الحيل التي نطبقها بعفويه وبعضها يأتي بنتيجة عكسيه لكن في النهاية يمكن اعتباره دورة تدريبيه ممتازة إذا ماتمت قراءته بشكل متأني ومدروس وتطبيقه بالشكل الصحيح .. شخصياً أعتقد أن هذا الكتاب يحتاج لأكثر من قراءة
December 11, 2015
Not sure how this book wound up on my Kindle, but I decided to read it. Completely ridiculous. At least a quarter the stuff in here has been disproved over the years. Another quarter of it is no-duh/common sense stuff. The remaining half is either super passive aggressive and/or the type of stuff an asshole would do/say. If I could give it zero stars I would...
June 22, 2020
يعتبر هذا الكتاب رغم اعتراف مؤلفه أن ماقدمه عبارة عن اجتهاد وليس مطلقا، كتاب مهم وقيم، ويحمل من الواقع الكثير الكثير، لذا يعتبر ركنا مهما من مكتبة الباحث.كنت قلبت مكتبتي فوجدته، وأفادني في محاضرتي المقبلة: الموهبة الكاذبة.
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August 10, 2011
amazing book! great stuff to be aware of its something i like to read over and over again to to refresh my mind. the doctor who wrote this really knows his stuff and makes it simple for all to understand
January 19, 2015
Great introduction to body language and how to identify when people aren't being fully honest. I found a lot of it was basic knowledge if you have been reading similar/more in depth books however it covers a lot of foundations that I would recommend to anyone new to studying human interaction.
November 11, 2024
Maybe it’s my mood, but this book disturbed me. The premise is how to entrap liars by lying to them. If you are looking to be a master manipulator, then this book is for you.
September 3, 2026
Tổng quan
Hầu hết mọi người đều từng mơ tưởng về một thế giới hoàn hảo, trong đó ai ai cũng trung thực và không lừa dối nhau. Thế nhưng, sự thật là thế giới này luôn đầy rẫy điều dối trá, khiến những ai cả tin có thể gặp vô số thiệt thòi. Vì vậy, "làm sao để tránh 'sập bẫy'?" trở thành câu hỏi đau đáu của nhiều người.
Với các kiến thức chuyên sâu về tâm lý và hành vi, tác giả – tiến sĩ, bác sĩ tâm lý David J. Lieberman đã viết cuốn sách Không Thể Bị Lừa Dối, cung cấp những công cụ hữu ích để giúp độc giả tự vệ và đối phó với sự dối trá một cách kín đáo và khôn ngoan.
Nội dung thứ nhất: Những dấu hiệu nhận diện kẻ dối trá.
Yếu tố đầu tiên tố cáo sự dối trá chính là cử chỉ. Chẳng hạn, kẻ nói dối hiếm khi nhìn vào mắt bạn, mà thường vô thức nhìn xuống hoặc liếc sang nơi khác. Đó là do họ cảm thấy tội lỗi vì đã nói dối. Cử chỉ và lời nói của họ cũng không nhất quán, thậm chí trái ngược nhau. Ví dụ nếu một người cau mày khi nói yêu bạn thì thật ra là họ không yêu bạn đâu. Tương tự, nếu một người nói với bạn rằng họ rất thoải mái, nhưng 2 tay họ lại nắm chặt nhau, thì rõ ràng họ đang nói dối.
Nụ cười cũng có thể nói lên nhiều điều, vì con người thường che giấu cảm xúc sau chiếc mặt nạ vui vẻ. Nụ cười chân thật sẽ khiến cả gương mặt sáng bừng, đó là điều mà nụ cười gượng ép không thể làm được. Con người cũng có khuynh hướng tạo rào chắn giữa chính mình và đối phương khi nói về chủ đề họ không thấy thoải mái. Vì thế, nếu ai đó bảo rằng họ rất vui khi được thảo luận cùng bạn, nhưng họ lại vô thức lấy gối, ly uống nước, đồ đạc... chèn vào giữa 2 người, thì có nghĩa là họ không thực sự thấy vui đâu.
Sự dối trá cũng tiết lộ qua ngôn từ. Kẻ nói dối có thể dùng câu cú gượng gạo, không rõ ràng, và có khuynh hướng lâm rẩm. Ví dụ, nếu cô vợ hỏi: “Anh đã từng lừa dối em chưa?” và anh chồng đáp: “Chưa, anh chưa bao giờ lừa dối em.” bằng giọng nhỏ xíu, vừa đủ nghe, thì đã đủ biết anh chồng nói thật hay không. Bên cạnh đó, kẻ nói dối cũng có thể đáp lời bằng cách lặp lại chính câu hỏi của bạn, hoặc đôi khi “nói hớ”, và bạn cần tinh ý để có thể nhận ra điều này.
Nhiều kẻ dối trá còn tạo những “giả thiết đạo đức” cho mình, hòng qua mặt người khác. Đây là những tình huống xảy ra với người khác, hoặc “giả thiết” mà kẻ nói dối đặt ra để thể hiện “đạo đức” của mình. Chẳng hạn, một quản lý sợ sếp phát hiện hắn tham ô. Vì vậy, hắn cố tình phạt một nhân viên phạm tội ăn cắp vặt trước mặt sếp và mọi người, nhằm khiến sếp nghĩ hắn ghét ăn cắp, nên sẽ không nghi ngờ hắn tham ô. Hoặc người chồng ngoại tình có thể kể với vợ rằng: “Thằng bạn anh nó cặp kè với nhỏ thư ký. Sao nó lại làm vậy được nhỉ? Anh ghét nhất cái kiểu như thế!”, nhằm lừa vợ tin rằng mình không phải loại người “mèo mả gà đồng”.
Nội dung thứ 2: Chủ động “ra tay” – chiến thuật lật tẩy sự gian dối.
Không chỉ quan sát, bạn có thể trực tiếp công kích đối phương để tìm ra sự thật. Có 3 bước để làm việc này, lần lượt là “kíp nổ”, “tấn công” và dùng “viên đạn bạc”. Bạn nên tuần tự làm từng bước, bởi lắm lúc kẻ dối trá đã “lộ nguyên hình” ngay từ bước 1.
Đầu tiên, khi bạn nghi ngờ mình bị đối phương qua mặt, thì đừng vội kết tội, mà hãy nói bóng gió. Đừng hỏi quá lộ liễu, mà hãy hỏi những câu hoàn toàn vô hại trong trường hợp đối phương vô tội, nhưng lại giống lời buộc tội nếu đối phương nói dối. Chẳng hạn, nếu bạn nghi ngờ một đồng nghiệp đang đồn thổi điều xấu về bạn, bạn có thể hỏi người đó: “Gần đây có nghe được tin đồn gì hay ho không?”. Nếu người đó trả lời “Sao lại hỏi thế?”, hoặc “Nghe chuyện đó ở đâu vậy?” chứng tỏ họ đang lo lắng về điều họ đã làm. Hoặc bạn nghi ngờ một nhân viên uống rượu trong ca trực, hãy hỏi người đó “Có một nhân viên đã uống rượu trong ca trực, anh có đề xuất gì để giải quyết trường hợp này không?”. Nếu người này tỏ ra bất an, và khẳng định anh ta không bao giờ làm vậy, thì anh ta có thể đang nói dối.
Nếu bước 1 không hiệu quả, hãy chuyển sang bước 2 – “tấn công”. Trước hết, hãy dùng chiến thuật “đặt câu hỏi trực tiếp”. Đừng báo trước chuyện bạn muốn nói, cũng đừng tiết lộ những thông tin bạn đã biết. Khi họ trả lời, hãy quan sát cử chỉ, lời nói của họ, và bạn sẽ nhận thấy một số “tín hiệu” khả nghi. Đừng phản ứng ngay với điều họ nói, mà hãy im lặng. Kẻ dối trá thường ghét sự im lặng nên sẽ cố nói nhiều thêm, tạo cơ hội cho bạn quan sát các manh mối khác. Khi họ kết thúc, bạn nên hỏi “Thật thế ư?” để buộc họ lặp lại câu trả lời, giúp bạn quan sát thêm. Cuối cùng, bạn nên đột ngột hỏi: “Anh muốn phủ nhận chuyện gì phải không?” khiến đối phương lo lắng và để lộ nhiều dấu hiệu nhận biết hơn.
Trong trường hợp vẫn không tìm được sự thật, bạn có thể dùng các chiến thuật khác, chẳng hạn như “nhử mồi và bắt gọn”, “thay đổi mạch thời gian”,... Nếu toàn bộ bước 2 không hiệu quả, bạn có thể chuyển sang bước 3, tức dùng những “viên đạn bạc”. Đó là các chiêu bài tình cảm khiến kẻ nói dối thấy bớt mặc cảm tội lỗi, cho rằng bạn thông cảm, hoặc không quan tâm điều họ đang cố giấu diếm nữa. Từ đó, họ sẽ chủ động để lộ tội lỗi.
Nội dung thứ 3: “Cạm bẫy” ở khắp nơi.
Sự dối trá nguy hiểm nhất chính là tự lừa dối bản thân. Nếu bạn không muốn biết sự thật, thì không bao giờ bạn nhìn thấy nó. Thiếu cái nhìn khách quan sẽ khiến bạn bị mơ tưởng và hảo vọng làm mờ mắt. Để không rơi vào cảnh “tự mình dối mình”, bạn phải ngăn không cho tình cảm lấn át lý trí. Ví dụ, chàng nói “Nếu em yêu anh, em sẽ không nghi ngờ anh. Tận sâu trong đáy lòng, em biết anh chỉ yêu em thôi, đúng không?”, và bạn xem xét câu này bằng cái nhìn đầy tình cảm, thì bạn sẽ không bao giờ nhận ra nếu anh ta đang lừa dối bạn.
Ngoài ra, hằng ngày bạn còn bị “lừa vào tròng” bởi rất nhiều mánh khóe buôn bán. Họ sẽ nịnh hót, hỏi về các sở thích, và quê hương... của bạn, rồi phán rằng “tôi cũng thế, trùng hợp ghê” để tạo thiện cảm. Hoặc họ sẽ tặng bạn những món quà miễn phí, hay các ưu đãi “chỉ mình bạn có”,... khiến bạn thấy mình cần phải mua hàng để “đền đáp”. Nhân viên bán hàng cũng thường tạo ra hiệu ứng “tâm lý dây chuyền” nhằm lôi kéo khách hàng. Chẳng hạn, người bán bảo rằng mẫu đó hiện ăn khách nhất, thế là đột nhiên bạn muốn có ngay mẫu đó.
Một chiêu trò khác là khiến sản phẩm trở nên “khan hiếm”, bằng cách bảo rằng “còn đúng một sản phẩm thôi”, trong khi sự thật là sản phẩm còn nguyên kho đầy ắp. Tuy nhiên, bạn thường vội vã mua món đó vì sợ sẽ bỏ lỡ cơ hội. Nhân viên bán hàng cũng có thể dùng phép kích tướng, ví dụ như tỏ thái độ nghi ngờ bạn không mua nổi đồ trong tiệm. Thế là bạn nổi giận và mua ngay món đắt tiền nhất để chứng tỏ bản thân, còn người bán hàng thì cười thầm vì đã đạt được mục đích.
Các cửa hàng cũng thường đưa ra các con số, hoặc các biểu đồ đầy màu sắc để làm “bằng chứng” cho điều mình nói, vì chúng dễ tạo niềm tin trong lòng khách hàng. Bạn đừng dao động trước những thứ ấy, vì không có gì đảm bảo chúng là thật. Một số nơi còn có chiêu trò cho khách hàng xem sản phẩm đắt tiền trước, rồi mới đưa ra sản phẩm có giá thấp hơn đôi chút. Lúc ấy, bạn lập tức tin rằng sản phẩm có giá thấp hơn đó là “của hời”, và sẽ mua ngay không chút đắn đo.
Trong cuộc sống hằng ngày, dù muốn hay không, bạn vẫn sẽ gặp những điều giả dối, lọc lừa, khiến bạn cảm thấy mệt mỏi, hoang mang. Tuy nhiên, hãy nhớ rằng, dẫu không thể ngăn người ta dối trá, bạn hoàn toàn có thể ngăn bản thân rơi vào cạm bẫy của họ. Với các bí quyết mà tác giả hướng dẫn, cuộc chiến đi tìm sự thật của bạn sẽ trở nên dễ dàng hơn, tiết kiệm thời gian và sức lực hơn.
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Hầu hết mọi người đều từng mơ tưởng về một thế giới hoàn hảo, trong đó ai ai cũng trung thực và không lừa dối nhau. Thế nhưng, sự thật là thế giới này luôn đầy rẫy điều dối trá, khiến những ai cả tin có thể gặp vô số thiệt thòi. Vì vậy, "làm sao để tránh 'sập bẫy'?" trở thành câu hỏi đau đáu của nhiều người.
Với các kiến thức chuyên sâu về tâm lý và hành vi, tác giả – tiến sĩ, bác sĩ tâm lý David J. Lieberman đã viết cuốn sách Không Thể Bị Lừa Dối, cung cấp những công cụ hữu ích để giúp độc giả tự vệ và đối phó với sự dối trá một cách kín đáo và khôn ngoan.
Nội dung thứ nhất: Những dấu hiệu nhận diện kẻ dối trá.
Yếu tố đầu tiên tố cáo sự dối trá chính là cử chỉ. Chẳng hạn, kẻ nói dối hiếm khi nhìn vào mắt bạn, mà thường vô thức nhìn xuống hoặc liếc sang nơi khác. Đó là do họ cảm thấy tội lỗi vì đã nói dối. Cử chỉ và lời nói của họ cũng không nhất quán, thậm chí trái ngược nhau. Ví dụ nếu một người cau mày khi nói yêu bạn thì thật ra là họ không yêu bạn đâu. Tương tự, nếu một người nói với bạn rằng họ rất thoải mái, nhưng 2 tay họ lại nắm chặt nhau, thì rõ ràng họ đang nói dối.
Nụ cười cũng có thể nói lên nhiều điều, vì con người thường che giấu cảm xúc sau chiếc mặt nạ vui vẻ. Nụ cười chân thật sẽ khiến cả gương mặt sáng bừng, đó là điều mà nụ cười gượng ép không thể làm được. Con người cũng có khuynh hướng tạo rào chắn giữa chính mình và đối phương khi nói về chủ đề họ không thấy thoải mái. Vì thế, nếu ai đó bảo rằng họ rất vui khi được thảo luận cùng bạn, nhưng họ lại vô thức lấy gối, ly uống nước, đồ đạc... chèn vào giữa 2 người, thì có nghĩa là họ không thực sự thấy vui đâu.
Sự dối trá cũng tiết lộ qua ngôn từ. Kẻ nói dối có thể dùng câu cú gượng gạo, không rõ ràng, và có khuynh hướng lâm rẩm. Ví dụ, nếu cô vợ hỏi: “Anh đã từng lừa dối em chưa?” và anh chồng đáp: “Chưa, anh chưa bao giờ lừa dối em.” bằng giọng nhỏ xíu, vừa đủ nghe, thì đã đủ biết anh chồng nói thật hay không. Bên cạnh đó, kẻ nói dối cũng có thể đáp lời bằng cách lặp lại chính câu hỏi của bạn, hoặc đôi khi “nói hớ”, và bạn cần tinh ý để có thể nhận ra điều này.
Nhiều kẻ dối trá còn tạo những “giả thiết đạo đức” cho mình, hòng qua mặt người khác. Đây là những tình huống xảy ra với người khác, hoặc “giả thiết” mà kẻ nói dối đặt ra để thể hiện “đạo đức” của mình. Chẳng hạn, một quản lý sợ sếp phát hiện hắn tham ô. Vì vậy, hắn cố tình phạt một nhân viên phạm tội ăn cắp vặt trước mặt sếp và mọi người, nhằm khiến sếp nghĩ hắn ghét ăn cắp, nên sẽ không nghi ngờ hắn tham ô. Hoặc người chồng ngoại tình có thể kể với vợ rằng: “Thằng bạn anh nó cặp kè với nhỏ thư ký. Sao nó lại làm vậy được nhỉ? Anh ghét nhất cái kiểu như thế!”, nhằm lừa vợ tin rằng mình không phải loại người “mèo mả gà đồng”.
Nội dung thứ 2: Chủ động “ra tay” – chiến thuật lật tẩy sự gian dối.
Không chỉ quan sát, bạn có thể trực tiếp công kích đối phương để tìm ra sự thật. Có 3 bước để làm việc này, lần lượt là “kíp nổ”, “tấn công” và dùng “viên đạn bạc”. Bạn nên tuần tự làm từng bước, bởi lắm lúc kẻ dối trá đã “lộ nguyên hình” ngay từ bước 1.
Đầu tiên, khi bạn nghi ngờ mình bị đối phương qua mặt, thì đừng vội kết tội, mà hãy nói bóng gió. Đừng hỏi quá lộ liễu, mà hãy hỏi những câu hoàn toàn vô hại trong trường hợp đối phương vô tội, nhưng lại giống lời buộc tội nếu đối phương nói dối. Chẳng hạn, nếu bạn nghi ngờ một đồng nghiệp đang đồn thổi điều xấu về bạn, bạn có thể hỏi người đó: “Gần đây có nghe được tin đồn gì hay ho không?”. Nếu người đó trả lời “Sao lại hỏi thế?”, hoặc “Nghe chuyện đó ở đâu vậy?” chứng tỏ họ đang lo lắng về điều họ đã làm. Hoặc bạn nghi ngờ một nhân viên uống rượu trong ca trực, hãy hỏi người đó “Có một nhân viên đã uống rượu trong ca trực, anh có đề xuất gì để giải quyết trường hợp này không?”. Nếu người này tỏ ra bất an, và khẳng định anh ta không bao giờ làm vậy, thì anh ta có thể đang nói dối.
Nếu bước 1 không hiệu quả, hãy chuyển sang bước 2 – “tấn công”. Trước hết, hãy dùng chiến thuật “đặt câu hỏi trực tiếp”. Đừng báo trước chuyện bạn muốn nói, cũng đừng tiết lộ những thông tin bạn đã biết. Khi họ trả lời, hãy quan sát cử chỉ, lời nói của họ, và bạn sẽ nhận thấy một số “tín hiệu” khả nghi. Đừng phản ứng ngay với điều họ nói, mà hãy im lặng. Kẻ dối trá thường ghét sự im lặng nên sẽ cố nói nhiều thêm, tạo cơ hội cho bạn quan sát các manh mối khác. Khi họ kết thúc, bạn nên hỏi “Thật thế ư?” để buộc họ lặp lại câu trả lời, giúp bạn quan sát thêm. Cuối cùng, bạn nên đột ngột hỏi: “Anh muốn phủ nhận chuyện gì phải không?” khiến đối phương lo lắng và để lộ nhiều dấu hiệu nhận biết hơn.
Trong trường hợp vẫn không tìm được sự thật, bạn có thể dùng các chiến thuật khác, chẳng hạn như “nhử mồi và bắt gọn”, “thay đổi mạch thời gian”,... Nếu toàn bộ bước 2 không hiệu quả, bạn có thể chuyển sang bước 3, tức dùng những “viên đạn bạc”. Đó là các chiêu bài tình cảm khiến kẻ nói dối thấy bớt mặc cảm tội lỗi, cho rằng bạn thông cảm, hoặc không quan tâm điều họ đang cố giấu diếm nữa. Từ đó, họ sẽ chủ động để lộ tội lỗi.
Nội dung thứ 3: “Cạm bẫy” ở khắp nơi.
Sự dối trá nguy hiểm nhất chính là tự lừa dối bản thân. Nếu bạn không muốn biết sự thật, thì không bao giờ bạn nhìn thấy nó. Thiếu cái nhìn khách quan sẽ khiến bạn bị mơ tưởng và hảo vọng làm mờ mắt. Để không rơi vào cảnh “tự mình dối mình”, bạn phải ngăn không cho tình cảm lấn át lý trí. Ví dụ, chàng nói “Nếu em yêu anh, em sẽ không nghi ngờ anh. Tận sâu trong đáy lòng, em biết anh chỉ yêu em thôi, đúng không?”, và bạn xem xét câu này bằng cái nhìn đầy tình cảm, thì bạn sẽ không bao giờ nhận ra nếu anh ta đang lừa dối bạn.
Ngoài ra, hằng ngày bạn còn bị “lừa vào tròng” bởi rất nhiều mánh khóe buôn bán. Họ sẽ nịnh hót, hỏi về các sở thích, và quê hương... của bạn, rồi phán rằng “tôi cũng thế, trùng hợp ghê” để tạo thiện cảm. Hoặc họ sẽ tặng bạn những món quà miễn phí, hay các ưu đãi “chỉ mình bạn có”,... khiến bạn thấy mình cần phải mua hàng để “đền đáp”. Nhân viên bán hàng cũng thường tạo ra hiệu ứng “tâm lý dây chuyền” nhằm lôi kéo khách hàng. Chẳng hạn, người bán bảo rằng mẫu đó hiện ăn khách nhất, thế là đột nhiên bạn muốn có ngay mẫu đó.
Một chiêu trò khác là khiến sản phẩm trở nên “khan hiếm”, bằng cách bảo rằng “còn đúng một sản phẩm thôi”, trong khi sự thật là sản phẩm còn nguyên kho đầy ắp. Tuy nhiên, bạn thường vội vã mua món đó vì sợ sẽ bỏ lỡ cơ hội. Nhân viên bán hàng cũng có thể dùng phép kích tướng, ví dụ như tỏ thái độ nghi ngờ bạn không mua nổi đồ trong tiệm. Thế là bạn nổi giận và mua ngay món đắt tiền nhất để chứng tỏ bản thân, còn người bán hàng thì cười thầm vì đã đạt được mục đích.
Các cửa hàng cũng thường đưa ra các con số, hoặc các biểu đồ đầy màu sắc để làm “bằng chứng” cho điều mình nói, vì chúng dễ tạo niềm tin trong lòng khách hàng. Bạn đừng dao động trước những thứ ấy, vì không có gì đảm bảo chúng là thật. Một số nơi còn có chiêu trò cho khách hàng xem sản phẩm đắt tiền trước, rồi mới đưa ra sản phẩm có giá thấp hơn đôi chút. Lúc ấy, bạn lập tức tin rằng sản phẩm có giá thấp hơn đó là “của hời”, và sẽ mua ngay không chút đắn đo.
Trong cuộc sống hằng ngày, dù muốn hay không, bạn vẫn sẽ gặp những điều giả dối, lọc lừa, khiến bạn cảm thấy mệt mỏi, hoang mang. Tuy nhiên, hãy nhớ rằng, dẫu không thể ngăn người ta dối trá, bạn hoàn toàn có thể ngăn bản thân rơi vào cạm bẫy của họ. Với các bí quyết mà tác giả hướng dẫn, cuộc chiến đi tìm sự thật của bạn sẽ trở nên dễ dàng hơn, tiết kiệm thời gian và sức lực hơn.
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March 18, 2022What this book is about?
This book helps us find out if people are lying to us. If you follow the instructions from this book, you can really become a human lie detector. The principles are simple, practical and so obvious that we are not aware of them.
Mainly the objective of the techniques laid out my David are:
1 to get a confession by putting the lier on the spot and in the corner so much that he impulsive needs to spit out the truth
2 if no confession is gotten, then to find out serious enough red flags or inconsistencies in his words to determine it is a lie
3 if he doesn’t speak, then using his facial expressions, and body language to determine it is a lie or not
Of course the assumptions of all the techniques in this book is that the person we think is lying is in front of us, or on the phone or at least is not avoiding us. Alas many people who will not be in front of us long enough to use the techniques laid out in this book. However there are still many cases where this is possible like in romantic relationships, employee/employer relationships, parents/children relationships. The examples in the book are mainly around these relationships.
Here I will give some excerpts from the book:
1 Body Language: The person will make little or no eye contact. A person who is lying to you will do everything to avoid making eye contact.
2 Emotional States: Consistency and Contradiction: The timing is off between gestures and words. If the facial expression comes after the verbal statement (“I am so angry with you right now” … pause … and then the angry expression), it looks false.
3 Emotional States: Consistency and Contradiction: The timing is off between gestures and words. If the facial expression comes after the verbal statement (“I am so angry with you right now” … pause … and then the angry expression), it looks false.
4 What Is Said: Actual Verbal Content : He will use your words to make his point. When asked, “Did you cheat on me?” The liar answers, “No, I didn’t cheat on you.” In addition, when a suspect uses a contraction
5 How Something Is Said : Deceitful response to questions regarding beliefs and attitudes take longer to think up. However, how fast does the rest of the sentence follow the initial one-word response? In truthful statements a fast no or yes is followed quickly by an explanation.
6 Psychological Profile: We often see the world as a reflection of ourselves. If you’re being accused of something, check your accuser’s veracity. Watch out for those people who are always telling you just how corrupt the rest of the world is. Beware of those asking you if you believe him. They may respond with, “you don’t believe me, do you?” Most people who tell the truth expect to be believed.
7 General Indications of Deceit : When the subject is changed, he’s in a better, more relaxed mood.
Here are some examples of what you can say to trigger a confession:
1 Suspicion: You feel that your girlfriend was unfaithful the night before.
Question: “Anything interesting happen last night?”
2 Suspicion: You suspect one of your salespeople has lied to a customer in order to make the sale.
Question: “Jim, I’m wondering if you could help me with something. It’s come to my attention that someone in the
sales department has been misrepresenting our products to customers. How do you think we can clear this up?”
3 Ask-a-Fact : During the conversation simply ask general, clear questions pertaining to your suspicion. This causes the person you are questioning to recall information. If he’s lying, he’ll take a while to answer because he first has to check his response mentally to be sure it makes sense. Made-up stories do not have details because they never happened
4 Mind Games : This is the method you use when you want the truth as it relates to a person’s previous behavior. A parent suspects that her twelve-year-old son is smoking cigarettes.
Approach: “I know all about the smoking and the sneaking around. You know I’m not happy about that, but I just want you to promise me that you won’t drink alcohol until you’re twenty-one.” This is by far the finest approach because it works on so many levels.
-First, it takes a forward assumptive stance –the parent “knows all about the smoking.”
- Second, it uses two truisms. The phrases “sneaking around” and “you
know I’m not happy about that” set the tone for honesty.
The child hears two things that he knows to be true
-He was sneaking around and his mother is unhappy about his smoking. He is therefore willing to accept at face value what follows.
- Third, the mother gives her son an easy out. All he has to do is promise not to drink and he’s home free. There’s no threat or punishment, just honest statements followed by a deal that he believes to be true as well.
How is it useful to you in your :
Life
This book is highly usable for our daily lives. Even if you forget all the details, just knowing the general principles listed above in the summary will suffice. Mostly we rely on our instincts but adding this repertoire in your investigation of the truth, will definitely help.
Business
At work, lying is unavoidable because the stakes are so high. Being able to detect lies will prevent many managers from being taken advantage of and also the moral of the team will become higher as except the manager, the rest knows the truth, usually
Careers
Many careers are destroyed by lies. So this book will definitely help you save your job, and move your career ahead by protecting yourself from lies in the office.
Conclusion
So the world has come back to pre-corona stage it seems. Was it not for Putin’s madness, we would really be happy as a world. But this too shall pass.
I am working on various new strategies for fulfill in what I believe is my life’s mission:
To make a few billion people embrace the mode of goodness, moving away from the current mode of passion.
Those of you not familiar with the Bhagvad Gita won’t understand what I am mean in exact terms but those who know about the 3 modes of nature (goodness, passion, and ignorance) will know exactly what I mean.
In plain language let me re-state my life mission:
To make a few billion people more curious about self-discovery, and less eager to chase material success
Truly I believe there is more to life than money, big cars, traveling the world, being number 1 in your industry etc.
For myself I have experienced and I am living that life I am professing, so I am not speculating. I just wish more people could experience the inner peace, the infallibility and eternity of this way of life for which I still have no fixed name yet.
Anyways. See you next week.
This book helps us find out if people are lying to us. If you follow the instructions from this book, you can really become a human lie detector. The principles are simple, practical and so obvious that we are not aware of them.
Mainly the objective of the techniques laid out my David are:
1 to get a confession by putting the lier on the spot and in the corner so much that he impulsive needs to spit out the truth
2 if no confession is gotten, then to find out serious enough red flags or inconsistencies in his words to determine it is a lie
3 if he doesn’t speak, then using his facial expressions, and body language to determine it is a lie or not
Of course the assumptions of all the techniques in this book is that the person we think is lying is in front of us, or on the phone or at least is not avoiding us. Alas many people who will not be in front of us long enough to use the techniques laid out in this book. However there are still many cases where this is possible like in romantic relationships, employee/employer relationships, parents/children relationships. The examples in the book are mainly around these relationships.
Here I will give some excerpts from the book:
1 Body Language: The person will make little or no eye contact. A person who is lying to you will do everything to avoid making eye contact.
2 Emotional States: Consistency and Contradiction: The timing is off between gestures and words. If the facial expression comes after the verbal statement (“I am so angry with you right now” … pause … and then the angry expression), it looks false.
3 Emotional States: Consistency and Contradiction: The timing is off between gestures and words. If the facial expression comes after the verbal statement (“I am so angry with you right now” … pause … and then the angry expression), it looks false.
4 What Is Said: Actual Verbal Content : He will use your words to make his point. When asked, “Did you cheat on me?” The liar answers, “No, I didn’t cheat on you.” In addition, when a suspect uses a contraction
5 How Something Is Said : Deceitful response to questions regarding beliefs and attitudes take longer to think up. However, how fast does the rest of the sentence follow the initial one-word response? In truthful statements a fast no or yes is followed quickly by an explanation.
6 Psychological Profile: We often see the world as a reflection of ourselves. If you’re being accused of something, check your accuser’s veracity. Watch out for those people who are always telling you just how corrupt the rest of the world is. Beware of those asking you if you believe him. They may respond with, “you don’t believe me, do you?” Most people who tell the truth expect to be believed.
7 General Indications of Deceit : When the subject is changed, he’s in a better, more relaxed mood.
Here are some examples of what you can say to trigger a confession:
1 Suspicion: You feel that your girlfriend was unfaithful the night before.
Question: “Anything interesting happen last night?”
2 Suspicion: You suspect one of your salespeople has lied to a customer in order to make the sale.
Question: “Jim, I’m wondering if you could help me with something. It’s come to my attention that someone in the
sales department has been misrepresenting our products to customers. How do you think we can clear this up?”
3 Ask-a-Fact : During the conversation simply ask general, clear questions pertaining to your suspicion. This causes the person you are questioning to recall information. If he’s lying, he’ll take a while to answer because he first has to check his response mentally to be sure it makes sense. Made-up stories do not have details because they never happened
4 Mind Games : This is the method you use when you want the truth as it relates to a person’s previous behavior. A parent suspects that her twelve-year-old son is smoking cigarettes.
Approach: “I know all about the smoking and the sneaking around. You know I’m not happy about that, but I just want you to promise me that you won’t drink alcohol until you’re twenty-one.” This is by far the finest approach because it works on so many levels.
-First, it takes a forward assumptive stance –the parent “knows all about the smoking.”
- Second, it uses two truisms. The phrases “sneaking around” and “you
know I’m not happy about that” set the tone for honesty.
The child hears two things that he knows to be true
-He was sneaking around and his mother is unhappy about his smoking. He is therefore willing to accept at face value what follows.
- Third, the mother gives her son an easy out. All he has to do is promise not to drink and he’s home free. There’s no threat or punishment, just honest statements followed by a deal that he believes to be true as well.
How is it useful to you in your :
Life
This book is highly usable for our daily lives. Even if you forget all the details, just knowing the general principles listed above in the summary will suffice. Mostly we rely on our instincts but adding this repertoire in your investigation of the truth, will definitely help.
Business
At work, lying is unavoidable because the stakes are so high. Being able to detect lies will prevent many managers from being taken advantage of and also the moral of the team will become higher as except the manager, the rest knows the truth, usually
Careers
Many careers are destroyed by lies. So this book will definitely help you save your job, and move your career ahead by protecting yourself from lies in the office.
Conclusion
So the world has come back to pre-corona stage it seems. Was it not for Putin’s madness, we would really be happy as a world. But this too shall pass.
I am working on various new strategies for fulfill in what I believe is my life’s mission:
To make a few billion people embrace the mode of goodness, moving away from the current mode of passion.
Those of you not familiar with the Bhagvad Gita won’t understand what I am mean in exact terms but those who know about the 3 modes of nature (goodness, passion, and ignorance) will know exactly what I mean.
In plain language let me re-state my life mission:
To make a few billion people more curious about self-discovery, and less eager to chase material success
Truly I believe there is more to life than money, big cars, traveling the world, being number 1 in your industry etc.
For myself I have experienced and I am living that life I am professing, so I am not speculating. I just wish more people could experience the inner peace, the infallibility and eternity of this way of life for which I still have no fixed name yet.
Anyways. See you next week.
November 2, 2012
What a fun read, this book was. I really enjoyed learning the techniques in this book and practicing them in real life. I love Lieberman's fun facts randomly thrown into this book.
Anyone who enjoys watching the television show, Lie to Me, will also enjoy this book. I had actually only became interested in the show after reading this book. Prior to this book I had no interest in the show or didn't get it. Well, I get it now and it is utterly fascinating!
I look forward to reading more from David J. Lieberman in the future. It was a delight to run across this gem.
Anyone who enjoys watching the television show, Lie to Me, will also enjoy this book. I had actually only became interested in the show after reading this book. Prior to this book I had no interest in the show or didn't get it. Well, I get it now and it is utterly fascinating!
I look forward to reading more from David J. Lieberman in the future. It was a delight to run across this gem.
March 5, 2013
In theory, I enjoyed this book. It started by setting out very clear things to look for and observe to determine if you're being lied to. These were practical and interesting. Then the book goes into all of these confrontational ways to catch people in lies. My main problem with this is that as the asker, you have the be lying since you don't know for sure that the other person is. If I were the recipient of some of these questions, I'd probably admit to things I hadn't done just to make the questioning stop.
If you want to read this book, do the first half, but skip the ending.
If you want to read this book, do the first half, but skip the ending.
Currently Reading
March 24, 2010This book talks about non-verbal and verbal language. This book is better than many books in this category. It doesn't just talk about what a behavior means, which oftentimes is debatable. It explains why the behavior can be interpreted a certain way given natural human inclinations. That allowed me to understand why a given interpretation has behavioral validity. It also suggests eliciting additional data to determine if original assessment of veracity is correct.
June 29, 2012
Because I am not a master of deception and lies, I couldn't spot subtel sign of lies. This book would be a great addition to such naive person. But for expert, it sound too basic. It did change my perspective, the way I look into things. It so rewarding when you catch someone with his lie :)
April 8, 2014
Listened to the audio abridged edition. First part on signals was ok, but second part on pressuring a person to tell you the truth seemed like outright interrogation and hostile alienation; "How to Lose Friends and Alienate People".
January 17, 2016
Another good book about how to phrase questions to make it easy to gain confessions. Similar to "We Get Confessions."
February 28, 2017
i cannot agree with this because a lot of the points it gives as things people do when they are lying, are things I do but I'm not lying. I am generally paranoid and defensive anyway.
July 6, 2017
Self contradictory guess work
January 15, 2021
According to this the way to never be lied to is to lie repeatedly yourself.
May 10, 2017
The world is filled with those who value honesty and those who don't. It's good to have some pointers that can help us tell the difference. And it's good to have some pointers on how to best encourage others to tell us the truth. This book offers so many insightful pointers. I am thankful for it.
I am also thankful for the God given light or voice that comes to each of us that can help us discern right from wrong, truth from untruth. And I am thankful that we all have the ability to listen to that voice and to learn to recognize it's warnings in our life. I am thankful that that voice gets stronger as we exhibit personal integrity in Christlike ways.
** Talking points - how do you feel when people lie to you? How do you feel when you don't tell the whole truth? How do you feel when you tell the truth even when their are consequences for your behavior? What makes it easier to tell the truth? How can you make it easier for others to tell the truth. Do you like being around people who lie to others? To you? If a person lies, do you think it is harder or easier for them to trust others? What about if a person always tells the truth?
I am also thankful for the God given light or voice that comes to each of us that can help us discern right from wrong, truth from untruth. And I am thankful that we all have the ability to listen to that voice and to learn to recognize it's warnings in our life. I am thankful that that voice gets stronger as we exhibit personal integrity in Christlike ways.
** Talking points - how do you feel when people lie to you? How do you feel when you don't tell the whole truth? How do you feel when you tell the truth even when their are consequences for your behavior? What makes it easier to tell the truth? How can you make it easier for others to tell the truth. Do you like being around people who lie to others? To you? If a person lies, do you think it is harder or easier for them to trust others? What about if a person always tells the truth?
July 1, 2017
I actually read this a long time ago, and re-read it again just to refresh because it seems that the information just didn't sink in the first time around.
If you've ever wondered why, you been lied to, or how someone bamboozled you, and stood there dumbfounded when the truth finally slapped you " up the side of the head", and you felt like the stupidest person in the room, then this might be the book for you.
( Oh come on...we've all been there, admit it!)
Now not every scenario is covered in this book, however, once you get the hang of the lines of questioning you can adapt it to your particular situation.
Whether it be a deceitful employee, spouse, "frenemy", or just someone who has been spreading lies about you or poisoning your life, this may be the best tool in your tool box because heaven knows most of us have been using a
"hammer " for everything far too long.
Time to learn :
Does he/ she say that to everyone?
Is she / he out to get me?
Is the check really in the mail?
Does He/ she really love me?
Can I trust them?
Do you want to know the truth?.... we'll do Ya?
If you've ever wondered why, you been lied to, or how someone bamboozled you, and stood there dumbfounded when the truth finally slapped you " up the side of the head", and you felt like the stupidest person in the room, then this might be the book for you.
( Oh come on...we've all been there, admit it!)
Now not every scenario is covered in this book, however, once you get the hang of the lines of questioning you can adapt it to your particular situation.
Whether it be a deceitful employee, spouse, "frenemy", or just someone who has been spreading lies about you or poisoning your life, this may be the best tool in your tool box because heaven knows most of us have been using a
"hammer " for everything far too long.
Time to learn :
Does he/ she say that to everyone?
Is she / he out to get me?
Is the check really in the mail?
Does He/ she really love me?
Can I trust them?
Do you want to know the truth?.... we'll do Ya?
Read
March 10, 2020 Have you ever been lied too?? Well know there’s a book that is written by David j. Lieberman. This man work in the field of human behaviors. This book give you advice on how to never be lied to again. Finally, renowned behaviorist David J. Lieberman shows listeners how to stop the lies and uncover the truth - in any conversation or situation.
This book remind me of times when I had a problems when my partner had lied to me And the way males try to manipulate females is about making the female question her self. He will try to cover up some evidence by putting you in the situation. If you want to find out whether your boyfriend is cheating, your boss is getting away with murder, or the life-insurance salesman is playing you for a fool, read this book.
Clue 26 “He’s got cheating on his mind” it says that the man him says how he feel to avoid the question or conversation. They tell the story just only what we need to hear then make the feel think about it until it don’t seem right. They will do this until you don’t know any more.
This book remind me of times when I had a problems when my partner had lied to me And the way males try to manipulate females is about making the female question her self. He will try to cover up some evidence by putting you in the situation. If you want to find out whether your boyfriend is cheating, your boss is getting away with murder, or the life-insurance salesman is playing you for a fool, read this book.
Clue 26 “He’s got cheating on his mind” it says that the man him says how he feel to avoid the question or conversation. They tell the story just only what we need to hear then make the feel think about it until it don’t seem right. They will do this until you don’t know any more.
March 20, 2026
I thought this was really interesting listen. Kinda spooky just how manipulative people can be. There are signs to look out for and be aware of. Always good to practice analyzing and intuitive skills.
Some of the things he said you could tell if you do this and they look guilty that they’re lying but I’m like that doesn’t apply to everyone haha😂 some people don’t have guilt! Lol
Kind of a depressing read, makes me appreciate straight shooters ya know? Might look into his other books
Something he said that was so profound, something like The loudest lie is the one you tell yourself.
Also, that right handed people look up to the left when recalling something, and they will look up and to the right to create something (aka make something up / lie)
Left handed people will look up and to the right to retrieve information, while looking to the upper left to come up with something.
Thought that was very neat.
People tend to do a gesture and then say a corresponding answer when telling the truth,
When lying, people say something and as an afterthought do the gesture
Some of the things he said you could tell if you do this and they look guilty that they’re lying but I’m like that doesn’t apply to everyone haha😂 some people don’t have guilt! Lol
Kind of a depressing read, makes me appreciate straight shooters ya know? Might look into his other books
Something he said that was so profound, something like The loudest lie is the one you tell yourself.
Also, that right handed people look up to the left when recalling something, and they will look up and to the right to create something (aka make something up / lie)
Left handed people will look up and to the right to retrieve information, while looking to the upper left to come up with something.
Thought that was very neat.
People tend to do a gesture and then say a corresponding answer when telling the truth,
When lying, people say something and as an afterthought do the gesture
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 9, 2023
15%
Using common techniques that are commonly wrong, the big issue here is that you try to get the truth with manipulation, manipulation and lies are the issue, so they are very rarely the answer, trying to out manipulate a manipulator is a losing game.
True tips
Tip number one, someone that's lying is likely to rush their story and add on intricate details.
Tip 2
Someone that answers slowly may just be being thoughtful about your answer.
Tip three, saying to be honest before an answer, does not automatically disregard the statement. I went over 5 years without lying, and I would still say to be honest
Tip 4, if I'm say that I'm the most honest person you'll ever meet in explanation to something, it's actually true because I went over 5 years without lying. Drop your ego.
Using common techniques that are commonly wrong, the big issue here is that you try to get the truth with manipulation, manipulation and lies are the issue, so they are very rarely the answer, trying to out manipulate a manipulator is a losing game.
True tips
Tip number one, someone that's lying is likely to rush their story and add on intricate details.
Tip 2
Someone that answers slowly may just be being thoughtful about your answer.
Tip three, saying to be honest before an answer, does not automatically disregard the statement. I went over 5 years without lying, and I would still say to be honest
Tip 4, if I'm say that I'm the most honest person you'll ever meet in explanation to something, it's actually true because I went over 5 years without lying. Drop your ego.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
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