Asylum: A Memoir About Hollywood, Mental Illness, Recovery, and Being My Mother's Son

by Joe Pantoliano

Most people know Joe Pantoliano from his memorable roles in The Sopranos, The Matrix, The Goonies, Risky Business, Memento, and The Fugitive. But before he became one of Hollywood’s most successful character actors, he was “Joey Pants” from Hoboken, the son of a fiercely controlling schizophrenic mother. Growing up, Joe always knew something was different with him, too. “It was as if I was born with a huge hole inside of me,” he writes. Not until much later in life was Joe diagnosed with clinical depression. Now he has a message for the millions of people who suffer from mental illness, and for the friends and family who care for them: You are not alone.

Before Joe was diagnosed he tried to fill the hole inside of him with alcohol. Then he stopped drinking because the alcohol had stopped working, and instead took up to twenty Vicodin a day in an effort to numb his emotional and physical pain. Even after being diagnosed Joe faced roadblocks, such as when he couldn’t get insured on a film because of his antidepressant medication.

Asylum is the story of Joe’s Hollywood success, his undiagnosed mental illness and substance abuse, and how that all led to his eventual awareness, diagnosis, recovery, public activism, and advocacy. Interweaving deeply personal experience with informative discourse, Pantoliano creates a highly relevant and unflinchingly honest memoir that will resonate not only with victims of mental illness, and witnesses to its devastating effects, but the general reader curious about the working of the human mind.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Biography Memoir, Biography

296 pages, Hardcover

First published December 27, 2011

About the author

Joe Pantoliano is an American actor sometimes referred to as "Joey Pants". Pantoliano is also known for taking his diagnosis with clinical depression public and starting the non-profit organization "No Kidding, Me Too!" to educate the public about mental illness.

Reviews

[Wynn · Rating 3 out of 5]

Funny & Enlightening but HORRIBLE EDITING (1st edition)!

This a great book for anyone diagnosed with depression or anyone who wants to relate to someone with the disease. It is also great for anyone who spent much of their life wondering what's wrong. Like Joe Pantoliano, I too "loathe the term mental illness". After reading Asylum, I now prefer "brain dis-ease" or BD. I am grateful to Joe P. for pointing out that people with BD are not weak and BD is not a character flaw. We can't "snap out of it". Joe P. offers much more understanding of the disease and discusses how his disease was behind many of his actions and emotions (addictions, fear, trauma). Asylum is also a funny and entertaining memoir of his Italian upbringing in Hoboken, NJ up to his success in Hollywood (aka the "asylum"). I was fascinated with his mother and laughed out loud with his memories of her. I especially enjoyed reading about his friendship with Natalie Wood and Robert Wagner. He actually offers some insight into Ms. Wood's tragic death. I found it especially interesting that he could not get insurance coverage on one of his films due to his brain dis-ease, but his high cholesterol was not a problem. He was probably at a higher risk of heart attack than jumping off a nearby cliff. This is the stigma that must end!

What I can't understand about this first edition book is how it was published with such glaring errors in editing. Did I get a bad book? I wanted to take notes for my future reference regarding BD, so I had a pen and paper handy and listed a few errors. I had no idea Joe Pantoliano was on the CBS show "The Hander" (page 23). Shouldn't that be "The Handler"? How about the word "something" spelled "soemthing" on page 26. On page 90 he discusses Mark Crowley who helped "devolop" Hart to Hart. I was captivated by his story regarding the dinghy on the Wagner's yacht, the Splendor, but I was aggravated when the story ended with the dingy [din-jee] on page 94. I was surprised to learn President Lincoln had BD, but it was distracting to read on page 38 how "his bloodstained clothing were on display..." How about this on page 20 "Nancy hugged my hat falls off" (What?) or on pg 46 "...how could get a girl to sleep with me..." or this one on page 172 "the studio wanted then to cast somebody younger."

I know I should not "surrender to the anxiety" (Joe P's words), but these errors changed my thoughts and distracted me from the story or the message Mr. P was trying to tell or convey. I'm not a literary wiz, but I expect more from literary professionals and publishers who want to charge $25 for a book. Mr. Pantoliano, please hire a new editor for your next book!

[Carol Storm · Rating 5 out of 5]

The spectacular sequel to WHO'S SORRY NOW, this brutal, crazy, noisy, abrasive, heartbreaking, heartwarming memoir takes New Jersey actor Joe Pantoliano from his early days of off Broadway plays up to his legendary performance as the doomed, twisted, yet strangely sympathetic hood Ralphie in the classic HBO series THE SOPRANOS and far beyond!

One thing you have to understand going into this book is that Joey Pants is fearless, and determined to hold nothing back about his life. SO there are stories about drug addiction, alcohol addiction, mental illness, compulsive shopping, compulsive sex . . . you name it and Joey has done it!

But the real point of the story is about Brain Disease (BD) and how often it goes untreated with tragic results. This book is loud, noisy, and over the top, but it's also poignant and incredibly insightful because Joey works backwards like a detective, reconstructing the roots of his present behaviors based on the shocking, shattering, yet sometimes uproariously funny experiences of his early childhood in Hoboken, New Jersey. Of course a lot of his insights take the form of anecdotes that are fall down laughing funny, or downright fantastic and bizarre. There's a dream sequence where Johnny Carson interviews his wife that really explained some things about actors and relationships but at the same time literally had me rolling on the floor!

If you have any interest in acting or the process of becoming an actor this book is for you. If you or someone you know has been challenged by addiction, mental health issues, or brain disease, this book is for you. If you're a fan of the SOPRANOS, (the greatest TV show of all time, except maybe for BREAKING BAD) this book is for you. And if you're a fan of Frank Capra, this book is for you too. The last two pages are a letter from Joey Pants to the director of IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE, and even though I'm not a big Capra fan the things Joey says about his movies literally had me in tears!

[Melissa Lee-Tammeus · Rating 2 out of 5]

Okay, I love Joey Pants. I really do. I just saw him speak at a Mental Health conference in Florida - he is a wonderful, honest, down to earth guy that I could listen to forever. Listen to. Not read. I picked up his book out of pure curiosity. His stories at the conference were heartfelt and touching. He told some of the same stories in his book; however, the difference is the book is so scattered, so poorly written and so unedited, I could barely handle it. Now, granted Joey has ADHD, so for awhile I thought the mistakes and the scattered tone was on purpose to get the reader to understand his brain dis-ease. And it worked for awhile. Until the mistakes kept adding up. He spells his lover's name Patty in one paragraph and spells it Patti in the picture description. The word "presence" is spelled like "presents." There were mistakes like this everywhere and truly distracted from the reading. I mean, come on, who was this dude's editor? Or did he even have one? If you want a bird's eye view of Hollywood, complete with names thrown around and talks of parties and all the stuff you think an actor would talk about, and are interested in depression on top of it, along with many comorbid diagnoses, go for it. But for me, I was a bit annoyed - if you care enough to write a book, at least pick an editor who can edit. I'll save my ticket to hear him talk any day, but the book version, well, not so much.

[Lara · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found the stories "Joey Pants" tells to be interesting, both from the perspective of getting a peek into the world of Hollywood (his stories of RJ and Natalie Wood for example) and also from the perspective of someone discovering he has a mental illness and learning to live with it. The realisation that a compulsive behaviour hurts the ones we love is a brave story to tell.

However, at times the narrative was difficult to follow as he moves back and forward in time. It also seems to be leading somewhere (specifically about his illness) only to step back in time and sidle back towards the topic from another angle. This made it feel a bit repetitive, and I found myself feeling cheated when the revelations were postponed. This book could do with some good editing. Having said this, it remains an interesting read I would recommend to those for whom the journey is greater than the destination.

[Madalene · Rating 3 out of 5]

I know Joey Pants from Goonies. I also introduced myself to him at a bagel shop in Ridgefield a few years ago. He was very friendly and approachable with everyone. He asked if I knew him from NKM2 and I had no idea what that was. I said, no, Goonies, and he just smiled and said, oh.

His story is definitely interesting, and I'd even say I could identify with certain aspects, but I'd also have to say it wasn't the best written or edited book I've ever read. There were many times when I'd feel like I must have lost my page because he was either saying the same thing again or describing an event from a very different time period from where he just dropped off.

Overall, I'd say give it a go if you're interested in learning a bit more about Joey...

[Jamie Hodges · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really like Pantoliano and his cause-No Kidding, Me too. I have his documentary and am totally with him on the cause of erasing the stigma of having a mental illness. But I got bored with the book...possibly because I knew most of the story already and partly because it was just not well-written. But it would be a good read for someone who is not familiar with battling mental illness or his cause and programs for erasing stigma.

[Bjornv · Rating 2 out of 5]

Very meh. Wanted to like it, but the voice meanders all over, and "Joey Pants" unfortunately comes across as slightly whiny. Also a big amount of copy errors gives it a rushed, unedited, and half-baked feeling.

[Jonna · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have many things to say about this book. I've learned a bit about my own depression, and been entertained while doing it. I'll write a longer review for my blog, because I'm still processing some of this.

[Lee Woodruff · Rating 4 out of 5]

great book about his journey with "dis-ease" and overcoming depression - he helps a lot of vets with his NKMe2 org.

[Debbie Welch · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is an ok book if you have an interest in mental illness and Joey Pants. Much better is his DVD on the same subject. This was very disjointed.

[Melony · Rating 3 out of 5]

lots of language and situation but has value re: mental illness and addiction

[Kim · Rating 2 out of 5]

Lost me almost immediately. Glad I got it for free!

[Lucille · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hysterical laugh out loud book I loved it. I want to now read more from him.