What do you think?
Rate this book
Mending the Soul: Understanding and Healing Abuse
Biblically grounded and psychologically informed, Mending the Soul is a first-of-its-kind, comprehensive approach to understanding and treating every form of abuse for: * Pastoral and ministry staff * Small group leaders and youth workers * Educators and seminary students * Pastoral and clinical counselors It's time for the church to recognize the epidemic scale of abuse. Abuse kills. In its different forms--physical, sexual, verbal, spiritual, or neglectful--abuse deadens the emotions, slays self-worth, cripples the mind, even destroys the body. Its victims are legion. They live in your neighborhood, play with your children, and attend your church. In the United States * one in three women will be physically assaulted by an intimate partner. * around 1.5 million children are abused or neglected annually. * at least twenty-five percent of girls experience contact sexual abuse. But there is hope. God delights in mending shattered souls. However, healing doesn't come by ignoring the problem of abuse, minimizing its complexities, or downplaying its devastating impact. and by following a biblical path of restoration that allows God's grace to touch the heart's deep wounds. Mending the Soul sounds the call and leads the charge. Thorough and accessible, here at last is a unique and powerful resource for understanding and healing victims of abuse.
Hardcover
First published April 12, 2005
143 people are currently reading
503 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 55 reviews
May 15, 2013
This is thee single best book I have read on the subject of abuse. I personally think that every pastor and every elder of every church ought to be required to read this book.
Christian perspective backed up with research on the forms of abuse, the effects and the healing of.
Great chapter on forgiveness. Great piece on grappling with God in the tough stuff of life.
First read it on my e-reader, then ordered paperback and had it spiral bound as this will be a life-long valued resource as I desire to use my own journey to walk alongside of others walking the same road.
Highly, highly recommend this book.
Christian perspective backed up with research on the forms of abuse, the effects and the healing of.
Great chapter on forgiveness. Great piece on grappling with God in the tough stuff of life.
First read it on my e-reader, then ordered paperback and had it spiral bound as this will be a life-long valued resource as I desire to use my own journey to walk alongside of others walking the same road.
Highly, highly recommend this book.
January 6, 2013
If you've ever wondered, "what's wrong with me?" or "why do I think or do certain things?" THIS IS THE BOOK FOR YOU!! Reading this book gave me such a relief on the way that I thought as a Christian, and the reasons why I still struggled with those thoughts in my walk with God. I no longer felt condemned!! I was NOT insane, I was abused! And because of that, I was broken. But the best part of the book is learning about myself and learning how to have a genuine relationship with God, even in that brokenness.
August 14, 2017
helpful integrationist perspective on understanding the base reality of abuse
June 18, 2015
Steven R. Tracy has made an excellent contribution to the growing collection of biblical counseling literature possessed by the Church. He writes with three assets that serve him well: a broad knowledge of psychological studies of abusers and their victims, a deep well of experience in counseling victims of abuse and molestation, and a rich foundation of training in handling the Scriptures accurately.
The book is divided into three parts: the nature of abuse, the effects of abuse, and the healing path. He delivers, resoundingly, what each part promises. Mixing insights from psychological studies, careful exegesis of Scripture, and case studies, Tracy fully explores the horrific damage that abusers and abusive families perpetrate on victims. But he does not fall into the trap of ennobling and white-washing the victims. He also explores the (understandable) sinful responses of victims to their abuse, and he’s not afraid to label those responses as sin.
In a word, this is gentle pastoral care of souls ravaged by abuse, wrapped into an insightful, honest volume. Whether you are coming from the “Christian counseling” side of the aisle, or the “Biblical counseling” side, you’ll find much that’s useful. Tracy does a good job of staying true to Scripture while fully employing the observations and statistics of the world of psychology.
The chapters on "Facing the Brokenness" and "Rebuilding Intimacy with God" are outstanding. Here is real hope and practical guidance for counselors who are working with victims of abuse and molestation.
As a sidelight, those who are helping combat veterans dealing with PTSD might find useful insights in this volume. Tracy does a good job of showing the relationships between various kinds of high-stress high-trauma experiences.
The weakest part of the book, in my estimation, is his chapter on forgiveness. While I find myself in agreement of most of what he has to say, I think there are better treatments elsewhere. It’s a niggling, quibbling point, though, when you consider the overall excellence of the book.
The book is divided into three parts: the nature of abuse, the effects of abuse, and the healing path. He delivers, resoundingly, what each part promises. Mixing insights from psychological studies, careful exegesis of Scripture, and case studies, Tracy fully explores the horrific damage that abusers and abusive families perpetrate on victims. But he does not fall into the trap of ennobling and white-washing the victims. He also explores the (understandable) sinful responses of victims to their abuse, and he’s not afraid to label those responses as sin.
In a word, this is gentle pastoral care of souls ravaged by abuse, wrapped into an insightful, honest volume. Whether you are coming from the “Christian counseling” side of the aisle, or the “Biblical counseling” side, you’ll find much that’s useful. Tracy does a good job of staying true to Scripture while fully employing the observations and statistics of the world of psychology.
The chapters on "Facing the Brokenness" and "Rebuilding Intimacy with God" are outstanding. Here is real hope and practical guidance for counselors who are working with victims of abuse and molestation.
As a sidelight, those who are helping combat veterans dealing with PTSD might find useful insights in this volume. Tracy does a good job of showing the relationships between various kinds of high-stress high-trauma experiences.
The weakest part of the book, in my estimation, is his chapter on forgiveness. While I find myself in agreement of most of what he has to say, I think there are better treatments elsewhere. It’s a niggling, quibbling point, though, when you consider the overall excellence of the book.
September 20, 2017
Mending the Soul combines theology and psychology from an Evangelical viewpoint to help victims/survivors of abuse find a way to trust God and move into caring appropriately for themselves. I recommend it for Evangelicals who need this message. The sections on forgiveness are particularly worthwhile, and it is freeing to think that we can pray that abusers be covered in shame so they will repent.
At the same time, I found aspects of the approach frustrating. It bothered me to have the rape of King David's daughter Tamar explored so thoroughly, with condemnation for David's poor exercise of fatherhood, and then to have referenced somewhere else that David is a man after God's heart. For those who already have problems believing that God cared for them as they were being abused and that God cares for them now, this is jarring. Also, I found it problematic that the pronoun for God is he, and this usage is specifically defended even as Tracy includes the Motherly aspects of God; and then this is combined with the assertion that male/female marriage mirrors the image of God. First, if God is primarily and best described as masculine, this privileges the male aspects of God's image with clear primacy implications for heterosexual marriage. Tracy does not adequately balance this by referencing Jesus's clear teaching that the greater serves the lesser, which continually deconstructs power binaries. Second, if all persons of the Trinity are best referred to as masculine, why is there no validation for marriage between men? This seems illogical to me. Third, this ignores the fact that each human being has both masculine and feminine traits, and thus each is created in God's image.
SOOO, The book is helpful if you don't share my views on gender, and some of it is helpful even if you do.
At the same time, I found aspects of the approach frustrating. It bothered me to have the rape of King David's daughter Tamar explored so thoroughly, with condemnation for David's poor exercise of fatherhood, and then to have referenced somewhere else that David is a man after God's heart. For those who already have problems believing that God cared for them as they were being abused and that God cares for them now, this is jarring. Also, I found it problematic that the pronoun for God is he, and this usage is specifically defended even as Tracy includes the Motherly aspects of God; and then this is combined with the assertion that male/female marriage mirrors the image of God. First, if God is primarily and best described as masculine, this privileges the male aspects of God's image with clear primacy implications for heterosexual marriage. Tracy does not adequately balance this by referencing Jesus's clear teaching that the greater serves the lesser, which continually deconstructs power binaries. Second, if all persons of the Trinity are best referred to as masculine, why is there no validation for marriage between men? This seems illogical to me. Third, this ignores the fact that each human being has both masculine and feminine traits, and thus each is created in God's image.
SOOO, The book is helpful if you don't share my views on gender, and some of it is helpful even if you do.
December 26, 2010
This book is about more than abuse, it is about healing and knowing God. I'll read this one again. The author's thoughts on wresting with God were a blessing.
June 7, 2024
a good basic understanding of abuse
If one has questions about abuse and the process of finding healing this is a goodwill place to start. I could see myself reading this book in a discipleship relationship with someone. I would let the text guide the conversation. It is not a manual for therapist but an introduction for those who need help.
If one has questions about abuse and the process of finding healing this is a goodwill place to start. I could see myself reading this book in a discipleship relationship with someone. I would let the text guide the conversation. It is not a manual for therapist but an introduction for those who need help.
February 10, 2019
This book should come with a warning label. Its description of abuse can be shockingly graphic at times. It pairs truly helpful information with an almost blasé description of real stories of abuse.
Would I recommend this to counselors or clergy? Yes. It is really helpful in understanding how deeply abuse can affect a person.
Would I recommend this to someone who is beginning their own journey of healing from abuse? Probably not. Maybe it’s just me, but as a survivor of childhood abuse, I found this to be more triggering than helpful. I skipped two of the chapters because it was just too bluntly descriptive.
If the goal is to shock the reader into the reality of how prevalent abuse is, then this is a great read. Too many people in helping professions are blind to it. But if your goal in picking this book up is to understand your own abuse before you’ve begun to confront it in counseling or with some other type of strong support system, you might want to try a different book.
Would I recommend this to counselors or clergy? Yes. It is really helpful in understanding how deeply abuse can affect a person.
Would I recommend this to someone who is beginning their own journey of healing from abuse? Probably not. Maybe it’s just me, but as a survivor of childhood abuse, I found this to be more triggering than helpful. I skipped two of the chapters because it was just too bluntly descriptive.
If the goal is to shock the reader into the reality of how prevalent abuse is, then this is a great read. Too many people in helping professions are blind to it. But if your goal in picking this book up is to understand your own abuse before you’ve begun to confront it in counseling or with some other type of strong support system, you might want to try a different book.
July 6, 2014
Someone gave me this book years ago and I wanted to read it for personal and professional development reasons, as well as the fact that it was written by my former youth pastor! I think it is an excellent resource on the prevalence, dynamics and treatment of abuse written from a Christian perspective. It should be required reading for all pastors. Dr. Tracy (or Pastor Steve, as I remember him) does well in addressing many of the misconceptions and blind spots about abuse that unfortunately exist within in the Church. I particularly appreciated his treatment of the ways in which abuse mars the image-bearing aspects of individuals. His advice for working with survivors of abuse is sound, practical and compassionate. This book is a worthy contribution to the existing body of knowledge on abuse.
August 27, 2015
This book is so good! The corresponding workbook is extremely helpful as well. This is very conversational which makes it both easy and hard to read. Have you ever wondered "what is wrong with me?" Why do I view things through the lens of shame or isolation?" This book helps you see that those are lasting effects of abuse. Though this book is written for survivors of sexual abuse, it touches areas of every kind of abuse. The healing path helps so much in rebuilding a correct view of God and forgiveness. This book gives hope, not condemnation, shame or guilt. Those who have endured abuse will recognize the profiles given, trigger mechanisms employed, and views of self and God. Probably the single most helpful book to aid in true healing, not just diagnosing the issues.
April 16, 2014
I wish I could install this book on the bookshelf of every church and para-church organisation. Mending the Soul is not just strongly grounded in Biblical truth, it's a clarion call to churches to take seriously the prevention of abuse and the support of victims.
If you are a Pastor or church leader considering how you can support victims with more care and understanding... read this book.
If you are a victim of abuse and are struggling to find hope and healing... read this book.
And if you are a church leader who believes abuse could never happen in your church or among "nice" Christians... please please read this book.
If you are a Pastor or church leader considering how you can support victims with more care and understanding... read this book.
If you are a victim of abuse and are struggling to find hope and healing... read this book.
And if you are a church leader who believes abuse could never happen in your church or among "nice" Christians... please please read this book.
February 12, 2015
A must-read for every Christian -- abuse is rampant, and we need to know God's perspective on it. All too often, the well-intentioned but uninformed Christian responses given to victims are damaging and, ultimately, unBiblical. While there are additional aspects that I wish the book touched on (like the Cycle of Abuse and psychological consequences, as concerns restoration), it's still the most complete and Biblically balanced view that I've read. I especially admired the thoroughness of the research and Biblical referencing -- it took me a lot of time and difficulty to come to similar conclusions about what Biblical love, forgiveness and boundaries look like in unhealthy situations.
June 16, 2012
This book was extremely helpful for me in my journey to accept and move past the abuse I experienced growing up. It gives a detailed outline of the differennt types of abuse, what they are, and what symptoms an abuse victim may have because of the abuse. This book helped me remember a lot of things my mind had hid from me. It also helped me realize abusive things that had happened to me that I didn't even know was abuse. I highly recommend this book to anyone who is dealing with abuse, or anyone who is learning about abuse to help others.
December 28, 2016
I haven't read a ton of books on abuse, but out of the ones I have read or heard of, this one should be the standard. All pastors, church workers, counselors, victims of abuse, supporters of abuse victims, etc. should be required to read this book. It primarily focuses on physical and sexual abuse, which fortunately was not my abuse experience, but the principles and practical advice still applied to my situation and the consequences I've had to struggle with since.
September 5, 2012
Decided pro Christian in its premises. Does a great job at merging the scientific research on abuse patterns of behavior and how those are reflected in spiritual principals. Has a workbook if you are interested but it is rather pricy and I think much of the same function can be accomplished through keeping a journal or discussing the book with a friend or confidant.
July 28, 2013
Highly recommend this book if you have been abused, are close with anyone who has been, are a pastor or leader, or have a heart to help victims. By far the best book Ive read on abuse and its effects, as well as clear biblical steps to complete healing. There is also a companion workbook that goes deeper into the emotional side for deeper healing.
February 28, 2015
Mending the Soul is of tremendous importance in the learning curve of my experience with PTSD. Having some knowledge of the available literature on the subject of trauma and abuse, I appreciate Steven Tracy's ability to make the complicated easy to understand.
I plan to read this work several more times and then once a year following.
I plan to read this work several more times and then once a year following.
January 29, 2018
Solutions for victims of abuse
Unlike many of the books on this topic that I’ve read, this is one of the few works that offers solutions for victims and a path to healing. It also addresses the failed approaches by the faith-based community.
Unlike many of the books on this topic that I’ve read, this is one of the few works that offers solutions for victims and a path to healing. It also addresses the failed approaches by the faith-based community.
July 17, 2010
Very informational.
April 22, 2012
Covers all forms of abuse and how it affects our lives.
July 31, 2014
This is the best book I have ever read on the subject of abuse. Should be required reading for those in the "caring" professions.
January 29, 2014
This is an amazing, heart wrenching, informational, eye opening book! I recommend it to everyone! It was, however, hard to read because of the content, but it was worth it!
September 9, 2014
This book tackles healing abuse from a counselor's point of view. The author does a very thorough job. Even though he is a professional, the book is very readable, and very helpful. Great job!
October 2, 2015
Good Book
Solid advice on abuse recovery. Scriptural basis given for much of the content. Also well-rooted in statistical support, too! Very helpful...
Solid advice on abuse recovery. Scriptural basis given for much of the content. Also well-rooted in statistical support, too! Very helpful...
October 26, 2019
Qué libro más tremendo. Demoré muchísimo en leerlo. No porque sea aburrido o malo, sino por lo difícil de dirigir que es su contenido. Este libro se sirve de la psicología y a la vez de la Biblia para llevarte primero a entender lo que pasa en la mente y corazón de una víctima de abuso, y a entender por lo tal su comportamiento frente a otras personas a la hora de relacionarse. Luego se sirve de la Biblia misma y de la gracia restauradora y el poder de lo que Jesús hizo en la cruz para poder ayudar a la víctima a sanar por completo de los traumas de su abuso, sea cual sea, cualquier tipo de abuso. Por eso no es fácil de leer, pega fuerte, es por momentos crudo y directo, pero da muchas esperanzas. A Dios la gloria por el poder que sólo él tiene para transformar y restaurar nuestras vidas tan dañadas y rotas.
Recomendado para todos, obligado para padres, ministros y líderes espirituales.
Recomendado para todos, obligado para padres, ministros y líderes espirituales.
March 23, 2023
There is a lot of very good content in this book for abuse survivors and for those looking to combat abuse in churches. I found it very helpful. However it contained some language with which I strongly disagree. In chapter 6 it describes a quality referred to as “deadness” as a result of abuse. Judging by the descriptions I think the author is referring to what psychologists generally refer to as emotional numbness or anhedonia. The author seems to describe “deadness” as a sin. Anhedonia is a mental health symptom which the sufferer does not choose and it is not a sin. It can be treated, and nobody should feel guilty for experiencing this symptom.
May 12, 2019
Powerful - Thought Provoking
If you approach this book with a question of what has your own experience been, open abuse or quiet neglect, and take the time to reflect and pray for personal understanding, you should walk away with a different attitude toward people who have offended you in the past. As one who hasn't experienced blatant physical, verbal our sexual abuse it has opted my eyes to the seriousness of each. It has also made me question what my parents experienced throughout their own lives. What did they bring into their understanding as parents?
If you approach this book with a question of what has your own experience been, open abuse or quiet neglect, and take the time to reflect and pray for personal understanding, you should walk away with a different attitude toward people who have offended you in the past. As one who hasn't experienced blatant physical, verbal our sexual abuse it has opted my eyes to the seriousness of each. It has also made me question what my parents experienced throughout their own lives. What did they bring into their understanding as parents?
May 16, 2018
I read this book with a group from church. This is the first book I've read that has answered all of my questions as a Christian who has been abused. There were so many WOW parts to this book that opened my understanding and helped me put into words what I was feeling. I would add more but I don't want to hinder your healing!
I have heard that it is not good to read this book alone, and I would agree. It is best to read this with a group with a facilitator.
I have heard that it is not good to read this book alone, and I would agree. It is best to read this with a group with a facilitator.
February 20, 2021
I bought this book for a group study with some reservations. In the past, I have been pretty disappointed by how some faith-based books address this topic, but not this time. I was impressed by the amount of research as well as the author's empathy. This is no careless or harsh attempt to apply Scripture as a Band-Aid; it's a real look at the damage of abuse and the path to healing with God. Even the final chapter on forgiveness (which I dreaded) ended up being refreshing and clarifying.
July 23, 2024
Hands down the best Christian resource I've read for understanding and addressing abuse in the Church. Tracy's handling of Scripture is incredible; no proof texting, just showing how concepts are already present in the biblical narrative. This book is a must read for anyone involved in Christian ministry or who has ever attended a church where sexual scandals have occurred--so basically every single professing believer.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 55 reviews