What do you think?
Rate this book
Blood Vows: A Haunting Memoir of Marriage and Murder
In 1970, a pretty young woman called Helen Cummings married a handsome doctor called Stuart Wynter. But instead of being a marriage made in heaven, it was the beginning of a hellish existence of spiralling abuse that ended six years later when she escaped with her two young children. Except it wasn’t the end at all because Dr Wynter remarried – and this woman and her child weren’t able to escape, and Helen wasn’t able to help.
In this brave memoir, Helen Cummings relates an idyllic childhood growing up in 1960s Australia and looks back on a marriage that nearly killed her and her children. Nowadays Helen is ‘the mother of a famous daughter and the daughter of a famous mother’, but she also had to come to terms with being the former wife of a murderer, and who was powerless to help his victims.
In this brave memoir, Helen Cummings relates an idyllic childhood growing up in 1960s Australia and looks back on a marriage that nearly killed her and her children. Nowadays Helen is ‘the mother of a famous daughter and the daughter of a famous mother’, but she also had to come to terms with being the former wife of a murderer, and who was powerless to help his victims.
224 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2011
9 people are currently reading
80 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews
May 14, 2018
This book made me thankful, yet again, that I am no longer a single mum living under the shadow of the ex-husband, and the court systems. My daughter is an adult now, happy, and safe, at long last. It is a tragic reminder of how vulnerable mums, and children, often are ... and how the legal system doesn't always help, but hinders.
I felt Helen wrote this is a very down-to-earth, non-sensationalized manner. She is fortunate to be alive, and those who died, are honoured, in some small measure, by her telling of their sad deaths.
4 Stars = It touched my heart, and/or gave me much food for thought.
I felt Helen wrote this is a very down-to-earth, non-sensationalized manner. She is fortunate to be alive, and those who died, are honoured, in some small measure, by her telling of their sad deaths.
4 Stars = It touched my heart, and/or gave me much food for thought.
January 27, 2012
‘A haunting memoir of marriage and murder’
Helen Cummings had a close, loving family life, with an idyllic childhood growing up in 1950s and 1960s Australia, in the BHP town of Newcastle in NSW. She lived in Mayfield with her parents, Mum, Joy (who would later become the first ever female Lord Mayor of Newcastle) and Dad, Dennis, who was a fireman. There was also her big sister, Margaret, little brother Ray and baby sister Kathy, plus Nanna (Dad’s mum) and Helen.
In 1970, Helen married Dr Stuart Wynter, whom she had first met on local government election day in 1968.. they were both working at the election booth. Their courtship progressed smoothly, both enjoying their jobs and the time they spent together. Helen loved Stuart dearly, and even though he didn’t seem to show the same emotion, she believed he loved her.
But within a few months of their marriage, Stuart began to show a different side to his character, when for no apparent reason, he would be in a full rage, ranting at Helen. She blamed herself, and tried to do everything to make him happy, but it didn’t work.
They had a beautiful daughter, Sarah, then a couple of years later, Brendan. All the while, Helen was trying to give the image of a perfect marriage, a loving couple with their children...no-one knew of the terror she was facing, and the uncertainty of when Stuart would erupt in a rage.
Things escalated when they moved to Gloucester to take over the Doctor’s surgery there..the outside facade was one of a happy family, Stuart’s patients loved him, everyone said what a lovely man he was. But behind closed doors, things were different...so much so that Helen ended up taking her two children with her, and moving back in with her family in Newcastle, to keep the family safe.
After their divorce, Stuart eventually married his second wife, Rakentati, and they had a little daughter, Binatia. They moved to Heathcote in Victoria, where, when Binatia was just four years old, in 1984, Stuart murdered his wife and daughter, and then killed himself.
The bravery of Helen, to write these memoirs, and the heartbreak she and her children went through, is astounding. The horror of the deaths of Rakentati and Binatia continue to haunt Helen today. She says at the end of the book...’she is the mother of a famous daughter and the daughter of a famous mother’.
This book was painful, the abuse was terrible, but I’m really glad I read it. I’d recommend it to everyone.
Helen Cummings had a close, loving family life, with an idyllic childhood growing up in 1950s and 1960s Australia, in the BHP town of Newcastle in NSW. She lived in Mayfield with her parents, Mum, Joy (who would later become the first ever female Lord Mayor of Newcastle) and Dad, Dennis, who was a fireman. There was also her big sister, Margaret, little brother Ray and baby sister Kathy, plus Nanna (Dad’s mum) and Helen.
In 1970, Helen married Dr Stuart Wynter, whom she had first met on local government election day in 1968.. they were both working at the election booth. Their courtship progressed smoothly, both enjoying their jobs and the time they spent together. Helen loved Stuart dearly, and even though he didn’t seem to show the same emotion, she believed he loved her.
But within a few months of their marriage, Stuart began to show a different side to his character, when for no apparent reason, he would be in a full rage, ranting at Helen. She blamed herself, and tried to do everything to make him happy, but it didn’t work.
They had a beautiful daughter, Sarah, then a couple of years later, Brendan. All the while, Helen was trying to give the image of a perfect marriage, a loving couple with their children...no-one knew of the terror she was facing, and the uncertainty of when Stuart would erupt in a rage.
Things escalated when they moved to Gloucester to take over the Doctor’s surgery there..the outside facade was one of a happy family, Stuart’s patients loved him, everyone said what a lovely man he was. But behind closed doors, things were different...so much so that Helen ended up taking her two children with her, and moving back in with her family in Newcastle, to keep the family safe.
After their divorce, Stuart eventually married his second wife, Rakentati, and they had a little daughter, Binatia. They moved to Heathcote in Victoria, where, when Binatia was just four years old, in 1984, Stuart murdered his wife and daughter, and then killed himself.
The bravery of Helen, to write these memoirs, and the heartbreak she and her children went through, is astounding. The horror of the deaths of Rakentati and Binatia continue to haunt Helen today. She says at the end of the book...’she is the mother of a famous daughter and the daughter of a famous mother’.
This book was painful, the abuse was terrible, but I’m really glad I read it. I’d recommend it to everyone.
March 4, 2014
2/3 - I really enjoyed Blood Vows. I found Helen's story interesting and disturbing - especially the last couple of chapters that weren't so much about her and Stuart's story, but the Australian legal system and their belief that it's better for the child to have contact with both parents no matter what. I constantly found myself shaking my head at the craziness and outright 'head in the sand-ness' of the courts forcing children to make unsupervised visits with fathers who had been violent with their mothers. The argument that "oh, he was only violent with his spouse" had me so angry I was clenching the book with rage - does that mean that when he slapped her so hard he split her lip; or when he knocked her over causing her to break her arm that it wasn't worth worrying about? Is that not a criminal offence? If I didn't know any better I would think I was talking about pre-1980s thinking, but no these new laws (or positions the courts were taking) came into use in 2006. It was easier for Helen to escape her abusive husband in 1976 than it would have been in 2007. The book was published in 2011, and mostly written in 2007, so the laws may have changed again, but reading about what Helen saw working in the Family Court has made an even stronger argument for not getting married or having children. The idea that if I married, and had kids, with a 'Stuart' and tried to escape his reign of terror I would be forced by law to attempt to reconcile with him, or at least hand my children over to him on an equal visitation basis is unconscionable.
In Melbourne a couple of weeks ago, an 11-year-old boy was beaten to death with a cricket bat by his father soon after the end of cricket training. When the police arrived they found the father armed with a knife, they attempted to pepper spray him but he didn't surrender so they shot him once in the chest. He died in hospital the next day. The boy's mother witnessed all this from just a few metres away. The father had a history of mental illness, was estranged from the mother and was under an Apprehended Violence Order, but the order still allowed him to visit his son during cricket training. All this because the courts feel that children 'need' to be parented by both parents, no matter the circumstance of the separation. I feel the need to show whoever it was that came up with those new laws pictures of what this Melburnian father did to his son and say "This is your fault, this boy would probably be alive were it not for your decision that it's in the child's best interest to have equal contact with both their parents. The next time you decide to make a law like this, think about the consequences, not just those with the loudest voices (father's rights groups who were clamouring on social media about the loss of their rights as fathers and the fact that all those claims of violence within the family were brought about by spiteful women who just wanted to take everything they could away from the fathers because they were feminists - what a load of misogynist crap!).
It was also interesting reading this because it gave me some insight into a successful Australian, now working in America, actress - Sarah Wynter - Stuart and Helen's daughter. Also Helen's mother, Joy Cummings, was the first female Lord Mayor of Newcastle (a city I used to live in, although not in concurrent time periods).
In Melbourne a couple of weeks ago, an 11-year-old boy was beaten to death with a cricket bat by his father soon after the end of cricket training. When the police arrived they found the father armed with a knife, they attempted to pepper spray him but he didn't surrender so they shot him once in the chest. He died in hospital the next day. The boy's mother witnessed all this from just a few metres away. The father had a history of mental illness, was estranged from the mother and was under an Apprehended Violence Order, but the order still allowed him to visit his son during cricket training. All this because the courts feel that children 'need' to be parented by both parents, no matter the circumstance of the separation. I feel the need to show whoever it was that came up with those new laws pictures of what this Melburnian father did to his son and say "This is your fault, this boy would probably be alive were it not for your decision that it's in the child's best interest to have equal contact with both their parents. The next time you decide to make a law like this, think about the consequences, not just those with the loudest voices (father's rights groups who were clamouring on social media about the loss of their rights as fathers and the fact that all those claims of violence within the family were brought about by spiteful women who just wanted to take everything they could away from the fathers because they were feminists - what a load of misogynist crap!).
It was also interesting reading this because it gave me some insight into a successful Australian, now working in America, actress - Sarah Wynter - Stuart and Helen's daughter. Also Helen's mother, Joy Cummings, was the first female Lord Mayor of Newcastle (a city I used to live in, although not in concurrent time periods).
July 31, 2018
A really heartbreaking but insightful story about domestic violence. The sad thing is that this occurred in the 70s and 80s and yet things haven't changed enough for women and children trapped in relationships with men like Stuart Wynter. There are still way too many murder/suicides carried out by (mostly) men in this country and surely there has to be a way to recognize the signs before the tragedy becomes unavoidable.
January 6, 2020
Most amazing book that all judges and others involved in the Family Law system should read - NOW!! I've had a few copies but gave them all away because nothing else sums up the horror of a psychopathic charmer who destroys women and children..in this case he kills himself too but Helen goes on to work in the Family Court - what a brave tough creature!! and shows us what a truly sinister and psychopathically destructive that system is.
March 13, 2013
As written on the cover, this is definitely a haunting memoir of marriage and a tragic murder that took place in the Australian town of Heathcote in 1984. This true life story was compelling reading about the spiralling abuse the author received at the hands of her husband who was by all accounts a much loved and respected doctor. Fortunately the author had the willpower to escape after 6 years of a hellish existence but not so lucky was his second wife Raken along with their 4 year old daughter who were brutally murdered before the doctor eventually killed himself.
July 10, 2011
Helen, your book answered many questions for me. You brave lady. Like many others.."WHY?".. Raken was such a lovely woman, I remember them all very well. How many women amongst us are right this moment suffering the same. Thank you.
Read
February 22, 2013Very restimulating, but I am compelled to read it. I can't put it down. The author has so clearly documented what could have been the story of my marriage.
April 1, 2024
I found the author weak
If her daughter hadn't become a known actress and her ex husband become a murderer no one would bother buying this book.
I knew her husband and his lovely second family. I only bought the book because it was cheap at The Book Grocer. I didn't finish it.
No permission was granted to publish a photo of my friend from her family. She was in the birthday party photo and tragically took her life the following year.
If her daughter hadn't become a known actress and her ex husband become a murderer no one would bother buying this book.
I knew her husband and his lovely second family. I only bought the book because it was cheap at The Book Grocer. I didn't finish it.
No permission was granted to publish a photo of my friend from her family. She was in the birthday party photo and tragically took her life the following year.
September 25, 2017
The author's perspective and insights about the legal system are very interesting. I think that the story is very honestly told (not sensationalized) and the intentions for writing this book seem to be good.
July 2, 2019
Very blunt synopsis of a domestic violence situation that most people don’t consider when evaluating the problem. They see obvious violent criminal men, not smooth professionals with dark secrets.
August 19, 2019
Very sad.
March 14, 2021
Two stars for Helen being brave enough to write her story but I found it too drawn out and repetitive.
June 6, 2021
This is a quick read, but a sad and thought provoking one. Domestic violence is a major world wide problem and although this book doesn’t try to offer answers, it does shed a light on the issue
April 9, 2015
A very important book, as it exposes a situation which is not easy to explain to those not closely acquainted with the outwardly respectable citizen who behaves violently and abusively towards his loved ones behind closed doors. Helen Cummings, from a close and loving family with the world at her feet in the late 1960s, married her Prince Charming. What she did not, and could not have predicted is the behaviour to which that Prince Charming subjected her and her children - cruel, unreasonable, wholly frightening and ultimately, life threatening. Her premise that if she had separated from her husband under the Family Law system as it is today in Australia, she would have been forced to enter into a "shared care" arrangement which may have put her children at risk is unfortunately, but entirely, the case, as the law after amendments to the Family Law Act in 2006 provides liberally for contact between children and their non-custodial parent. This may have meant her children would have died at their hands of their father, as her husband eventually murdered his second wife and their child, before killing himself. The book clearly enunciates Helen Cummings's story in loving detail in relation to her early family life and her life as a newlywed but candidly relates her responses to the increasingly worrying behaviour of her well respected husband. A brave and courageous telling of an oft hidden situation which resonates today with recent legislative changes in Australia which compel family law judicial officers to potentially expose children to dangerous, and sometimes murderous actions by their own parents. A compelling read for all personnel involved in domestic violence situations, including lawyers and those in judicial positions. I can only thank Helen Cummings for putting her story into a clear and readable form in a manner that is not sensational, despite its shocking facts. Her compassion and courage shine through luminously.
February 25, 2015
What an amazing read about such a strong woman & her family!
The end few chapters my attention started to waver but I found myself closing the book only because my alarm had gone off to get up.
The end few chapters my attention started to waver but I found myself closing the book only because my alarm had gone off to get up.
Read
October 28, 2011very good
Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews