Time to reread this little gem. I remember almost nothing about it, other than the look of the cover (I had the original hard back edition in 1978). Having just read Gordon's newest novel, "Love of My Youth," I am now in search of a copy of Final Payments so I can reread it. I am finally at a point in life where I am rereading some books from 30+ years ago, that I knew I had loved, but don't remember well. That is the only way I will reread a book, even if I loved it beyond words. I wait until the world has changed and the book is a new experience again, viewed through mature eyes. Sometimes I find I still love the book (as with "Marry Me, by John Updike) and sometimes I find it good, but would not rave to the degree I did in the 1970's or early 80's ("Nell," by Nancy Thayer).
The following was written several weeks after the above paragraph!
Finished one book this afternoon, read the 1st 60 pages of another. Great way to spend a quiet Sunday. I started to read the library's copy of Mary Gordon's "FINAL PAYMENTS," which was written in 1978. I hated that the pages were all dirty and bent. I was determined to find my original copy. I climbed a ladder to the top of my living room library shelves and there it was, in pristine condition, on a very top shelf. What joy! My mother's had written my name in it (my maiden name, since it was 1978 and I was only 24!) I thought I had read this, but there was NOTHING familiar about it and I always remember at least the feeling I got from a book, if not the plot itself. I think the clue is that my mother wrote my name...I must have loaned it to her and then never read it myself when she returned it.
So here I am, 34 years later, reading a book about a bygone era and reading it from the perspective of a mature woman who lived through the era about which the protagonist, Isabel Moore, speaks. I was not a Catholic school girl, as she was so I could not relate to the level of guilt and fear and control that Isabel felt after being raised by her very religious father and being close to her parish priest, but I could relate to being a young woman, coming of age in a time when men dared to attempt to fondle a woman on the job, promising career favors (disgusting)! Unlike Isabel, I was not insecure and would never put up with that kind of garbage and my male co-workers must have sensed this and looked elsewhere for their dalliances. Chauvinism abounded and would still be prevalent if woman of our generation had not forced a change.
Isabel spent 11 years caring for her brilliant but difficult father after a series of strokes that left him totally dependent on her for his care. Money was not an issue, so Isabel could have insisted, at age 19, that she had a right to go to college and live as her friends were living, dating, getting married. Instead, her Catholic guilt (she was referred to as a saint) kept her by her father's side, so much so, that for 11 years the only time she was away from her father's side was for a very quick walk in her neighborhood once in awhile. Her clothing, hair, understanding of the new ways of the 1970's, never changed with the times, so that when her father finally died and she was "free" she was out of style, naive and lost. She had had one boyfriend (with whom she was caught in bed by her father right before his massive stroke) but since that time, there had been no one. Suddenly Isabel comes alive and lusts for male company. She has 2 old friends from her Catholic school days who have been there for her all along. She is now able to visit them, dine out, meet their friends. She is seduced by the husband of one (a low life who offers her a job but then demands "payment" for this opportunity) and she soon after falls in love with a married man. She is happy, but that guilt is never far from the radar and she goes a bit mad.
The chapters about Isabel's work were interesting to me, as she interviewed old people being cared for by others. She determined for the county whether these elderly souls were content and if they were receiving adequate care.
Her love affair with the married man becomes quite complicated and ugly, which sets off a sort of madness that was heartbreaking to read.
The writing is painful, at times, which makes it beautiful, because we really feel what Isabel feels, even if we so disagree with the moves she makes. I would have remembered the tears I shed reading the last few pages. I would remembered how moved I was by this plodding, sad, heavy but beautifully done novel. Thus, I know I never read it, and am thrilled I decided to "reread it" only to discover it was a new gem after all.