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Homefront Club: The Hardheaded Woman's Guide to Raising a Military Family
As anyone with a spouse in uniform knows, the military offers families neither geographical stability nor guarantees of life under one roof. Those conditions make it tough to keep a marriage together, raise good kids, and maintain some semblance of normalcy, but help is on the way. Jacey Eckhart's new guide navigates readers through military life on the homefront. Aiming her advice at the wife-male spouses, she says, need their own book-she covers issues from the first day in the fortress to the last day the husband is piped ashore with humor and encouragement. An Air Force brat herself, Eckhart swore she would never enter the military, but married the first Navy man she dated and over the past seventeen years has raised three children, moved thirteen times, and tackled five deployments. She argues that being able to manage military life is not a secret some wives know and others don't, but rather a set of skills to be acquired. Eckhart presents the realities and then offers some solutions for the married-but-single parent, starting out on the bottom rung of the career ladder with each move, and worrying if military life is hurting the kids. She helps newlyweds and long-marrieds alike better understand the people who are drawn to military service and find ways to fit into the military community without losing a sense of self. Her guide offers helpful ideas about managing the demands of a teenager during a move, finding playmates for toddlers in new neighborhoods, and even telling mothers-in-law why they shouldn't be at the homecoming. She also lists methods of finding full and part-time work. From pre-deployment work-ups through Christmas blues and post-deployment problems, Eckhart and her guide are at the homefront ready to help.
224 pages, Paperback
First published April 1, 2005
3 people are currently reading
70 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews
February 3, 2008
Homefront Club: The Hardheaded Woman’s Guide to Raising a Military Family by Jacey Eckhart. I highly recommend this book. After 20 years of being a military wife I still found some invaluable tips and alot of support. Really a great book for the new spouse, and for us seasoned veterans. Ms Eckhart calls it like it is…the good the bad and the ugly.
Book Description
As anyone with a spouse in uniform knows, the military offers families neither geographical stability nor guarantees of life under one roof. Those conditions make it tough to keep a marriage together, raise good kids, and maintain some semblance of normalcy, but help is on the way. Jacey Eckhart’s new guide navigates readers through military life on the homefront. Aiming her advice at the wife—male spouses, she says, need their own book—she covers issues from the first day in the “fortress” to the last day the husband is piped ashore with humor and encouragement. An Air Force brat herself, Eckhart swore she would never enter the military, but married the first Navy man she dated and over the past seventeen years has raised three children, moved thirteen times, and tackled five deployments. She argues that being able to manage military life is not a secret some wives know and others don’t, but rather a set of skills to be acquired.
Eckhart presents the realities and then offers some solutions for the married-but-single parent, starting out on the bottom rung of the career ladder with each move, and worrying if military life is hurting the kids. She helps newlyweds and long-marrieds alike better understand the people who are drawn to military service and find ways to fit into the military community without losing a sense of self. Her guide offers helpful ideas about managing the demands of a teenager during a move, finding playmates for toddlers in new neighborhoods, and even telling mothers-in-law why they shouldn’t be at the homecoming. She also lists methods of finding full and part-time work. From pre-deployment work-ups through Christmas blues and post-deployment problems, Eckhart and her guide are at the homefront ready to help.
About the Author
Jacey Eckhart writes a twice-weekly newspaper column called “The Homefront” for the Virginian Pilot in Norfolk. She regularly speaks to groups about the problems of deployment and military marriage and has been a guest on the “Today Show.” www.jaceyeckhart.com
Book Description
As anyone with a spouse in uniform knows, the military offers families neither geographical stability nor guarantees of life under one roof. Those conditions make it tough to keep a marriage together, raise good kids, and maintain some semblance of normalcy, but help is on the way. Jacey Eckhart’s new guide navigates readers through military life on the homefront. Aiming her advice at the wife—male spouses, she says, need their own book—she covers issues from the first day in the “fortress” to the last day the husband is piped ashore with humor and encouragement. An Air Force brat herself, Eckhart swore she would never enter the military, but married the first Navy man she dated and over the past seventeen years has raised three children, moved thirteen times, and tackled five deployments. She argues that being able to manage military life is not a secret some wives know and others don’t, but rather a set of skills to be acquired.
Eckhart presents the realities and then offers some solutions for the married-but-single parent, starting out on the bottom rung of the career ladder with each move, and worrying if military life is hurting the kids. She helps newlyweds and long-marrieds alike better understand the people who are drawn to military service and find ways to fit into the military community without losing a sense of self. Her guide offers helpful ideas about managing the demands of a teenager during a move, finding playmates for toddlers in new neighborhoods, and even telling mothers-in-law why they shouldn’t be at the homecoming. She also lists methods of finding full and part-time work. From pre-deployment work-ups through Christmas blues and post-deployment problems, Eckhart and her guide are at the homefront ready to help.
About the Author
Jacey Eckhart writes a twice-weekly newspaper column called “The Homefront” for the Virginian Pilot in Norfolk. She regularly speaks to groups about the problems of deployment and military marriage and has been a guest on the “Today Show.” www.jaceyeckhart.com
October 30, 2010
I have two very distinct memories from Dale's last deployment. One was a Sunday dinner at a friend's house, when her sister in law commented to me, "You know, since you're planning to stay home once you have your baby, it's really not going to be that different than if your husband was here. I mean, you'd be home alone with the baby all day anyway." I was about 6 months pregnant in the fall of 2006. I'm still shocked by that comment. Next, a neighbor (who believe it or not, I actually really like), said to me one summer morning (while her husband was edging the yard), "You know, I secretly wish my husband would deploy sometimes." Me too. Dale had been gone over a year at that point, and I kind of hated her. But very temporarily. She's totally a very nice friend, and if this ever accidentally falls in her hands and she remembers I'm talking about her, I want her to know she is completely forgiven and that she's awesome.
Here's the deal. You will never, EVER, find a non-military wife who understands what you are going through. Even military wives from a decade ago had vastly different experiences. Their deployments were 6 months long at the worst, not eternity, like they are now. Even this great book written by a navy wife who moves all the time doesn't exactly apply to me, a reservist wife who doesn't move, but whose husband leaves for longer periods of time. It's almost impossible to find people who match your situation, other than people whose husbands are in the same unit and deploy at the same schedule, roughly. It's exceptionally hard when you are a reservist family and no one anywhere near your family is military. Then you wonder all the time, "Am I crazy? Is my irrational crying normal?"
My husband is about to leave again for Iraq, and so as a military wife who has scanned numerous books on deployment (all free from militaryonesource.com, check it out - it's AWESOME), I find this book ten times better than all the rest. That's my official review, substantiated by the fact that I can't imagine any book on deployment and military life being better. There could be one equal to it, but not better. Jacey Eckhart is funny, entertaining, forgiving, and real. If you ever think you are losing your mind, crying in the grocery store and random stoplights, you'll feel better about yourself after this book. Read it! It's great.
Here's the deal. You will never, EVER, find a non-military wife who understands what you are going through. Even military wives from a decade ago had vastly different experiences. Their deployments were 6 months long at the worst, not eternity, like they are now. Even this great book written by a navy wife who moves all the time doesn't exactly apply to me, a reservist wife who doesn't move, but whose husband leaves for longer periods of time. It's almost impossible to find people who match your situation, other than people whose husbands are in the same unit and deploy at the same schedule, roughly. It's exceptionally hard when you are a reservist family and no one anywhere near your family is military. Then you wonder all the time, "Am I crazy? Is my irrational crying normal?"
My husband is about to leave again for Iraq, and so as a military wife who has scanned numerous books on deployment (all free from militaryonesource.com, check it out - it's AWESOME), I find this book ten times better than all the rest. That's my official review, substantiated by the fact that I can't imagine any book on deployment and military life being better. There could be one equal to it, but not better. Jacey Eckhart is funny, entertaining, forgiving, and real. If you ever think you are losing your mind, crying in the grocery store and random stoplights, you'll feel better about yourself after this book. Read it! It's great.
January 18, 2008
I first became acquainted with Jacey Eckhart’s work while I was our battalion’s Key Volunteer Coordinator and heavily involved with family readiness. This book reinforced things I knew, and was still enlightening from the perspective of a Marine wife who had not yet been through a deployment--and was preparing for one.
March 30, 2018
Such a good book. I’m better for having read it. The timing was perfect. I believe I purchased this book and many many others when I learned my husband would be deploying, about 5 years ago! Hah! I finally got around to reading it and probably at the perfect time. Thanks so much Jacey for your candid take and life lessons related to loving a military man and raising our military kids.
November 19, 2020
A little outdated for 2020, but still good for some advice.
April 2, 2010
Don’t be put off by the cover of this book, it truly has nothing to do with how to cook and clean in heels. I just received this book yesterday in the mail and literally read it through in a few hours in the evening. It was so funny, and so true, I started reading sections out loud to my husband who began laughing as much as I was. But I also shed a few tears during quite a few sections of this book because of Eckhart’s unabashed emotional honesty about how hard this life is, and how to adapt and overcome. She charges all of us to quit explaining the reason we stay away from military spouse functions is because “I’m not an average military wife,” and states that, in fact, none of us are average military wives. This is what binds us together and makes us stronger.
It’s absolutely the best book I’ve read about being a military wife and mother. And it’s so funny and insightful, I am recommending it to civilians also, especially those civilians who find themselves with military in-laws, siblings, offspring and/or close friends (ladies—ahem). I think it will open your eyes to how (and why) we live so crazily because of the people we fell in love with. And you will laugh out loud. A lot.
Just to give you a taste of the hilarity, Eckhart starts out in her introduction with section headers such as “Killing Richard Gere”, “Would Debra Winger put up with this?”, and “How a nice girl like me ended up on a post like this”.
She then hits you front and center with the observation that at some point in your military spousehood you have that moment when you think you can’t do it anymore and then try to figure out what happens next. How at that moment, “You have to discover the secrets to living the Happy Military Life. Which sounds like an oxymoron, I know. ‘Happy’ and ‘military’ do not frequently appear in the same sentence. But people, even people you know, do manage to make it happen.” Eckhart describes the happy husbands and wives you see at the commissary, the command picnics. How they enjoy the excitement of change. She says:
“They enjoy the pomp and circumstance. They treasure whatever it is in their spouses that makes them want to serve their country.
They must be possessed.
Or not. Maybe they are just ordinary people who have learned to school their thoughts in a way that makes the demands of the military no more important than the weather. Sometimes the sun shines on their parade. Sometimes the rain ruins their picnic. Sometimes they get orders to the same duty station as their Best Friend of All Time. Sometimes they realize their spouse has been out of town since approximately 1992.”
If you aren’t laughing by now, I really don’t know how to help you. If you are, run out and get this book—soon!
It’s absolutely the best book I’ve read about being a military wife and mother. And it’s so funny and insightful, I am recommending it to civilians also, especially those civilians who find themselves with military in-laws, siblings, offspring and/or close friends (ladies—ahem). I think it will open your eyes to how (and why) we live so crazily because of the people we fell in love with. And you will laugh out loud. A lot.
Just to give you a taste of the hilarity, Eckhart starts out in her introduction with section headers such as “Killing Richard Gere”, “Would Debra Winger put up with this?”, and “How a nice girl like me ended up on a post like this”.
She then hits you front and center with the observation that at some point in your military spousehood you have that moment when you think you can’t do it anymore and then try to figure out what happens next. How at that moment, “You have to discover the secrets to living the Happy Military Life. Which sounds like an oxymoron, I know. ‘Happy’ and ‘military’ do not frequently appear in the same sentence. But people, even people you know, do manage to make it happen.” Eckhart describes the happy husbands and wives you see at the commissary, the command picnics. How they enjoy the excitement of change. She says:
“They enjoy the pomp and circumstance. They treasure whatever it is in their spouses that makes them want to serve their country.
They must be possessed.
Or not. Maybe they are just ordinary people who have learned to school their thoughts in a way that makes the demands of the military no more important than the weather. Sometimes the sun shines on their parade. Sometimes the rain ruins their picnic. Sometimes they get orders to the same duty station as their Best Friend of All Time. Sometimes they realize their spouse has been out of town since approximately 1992.”
If you aren’t laughing by now, I really don’t know how to help you. If you are, run out and get this book—soon!
August 25, 2012
While there are hundreds of self-helpish books on the market targeting military wives, this one is my pick. (It should be noted that this decision was made after one day of sampling, not after extensive research.) Eckhardt is funny, easy to relate to, smart in a very no-nonsense manner, and most of all, compassionate. She can give excellent advice to the average military wife based on one credential: She is one of us. Her book touches on the main frustrations of military life -- the frequent moves, the crazy hours, the impossibility of making new friends every year, the horror of trying to maintain your own career, and last but certainly not least, dealing with the "dreaded D(eployment) word." Somehow she even manages to talk about the worst case scenarios without making us run for our lives. I heartily recommend this one for you girls who (like myself) sometimes feel like you're drowning in your husband's job. Assuming that job is the thrice accursed military, of course.
March 21, 2010
I've read a few of Jacey Eckhart's columns, so I thought this book would be an interesting read. It's a good book, though a bit rambling at times, that offers tips, advice and a shoulder for all military wives of today. She mentions that most of the tips would also apply to military husbands and uses the non-gender "spouse" a lot, but it's most definitely a book for women.
While I only partially fit the mold (I'm a military wife, but I'm also active duty), I appreciated her perspective and could relate to her frustration, patriotism, and sense of adventure. I could empathize with her fears, hopes and dreams. I liked this book and would wholeheartedly recommend it for new military spouses, especially young wives. I certainly wish that this book were available oh so many years ago when I first started out as a military wife!
While I only partially fit the mold (I'm a military wife, but I'm also active duty), I appreciated her perspective and could relate to her frustration, patriotism, and sense of adventure. I could empathize with her fears, hopes and dreams. I liked this book and would wholeheartedly recommend it for new military spouses, especially young wives. I certainly wish that this book were available oh so many years ago when I first started out as a military wife!
June 6, 2011
I think the section on in-laws and rules surrounding deployments was most helpful, but I found that a lot of the information that would be really helpful (about who to contact, etc) was focused more on the Navy, rather than for all branches. There have been other military spouse books (most notably Married to the Military) that I found to be much more helpful as far as resources go. I did like the fact that she encouraged spouses to attend events and participate in the FRG. My only other annoyance was that a few comments about spouses were slightly irritating.
April 18, 2008
I really, really, really enjoyed this book. I read it at the beginning of Mark's last deployment & it gave me that kick start I needed. When times get tough in the military lifestyle, I'll probably pick it up & read it again.
September 28, 2008
This is a great book for those of us in the ol' military. It is written by a Navy wife so a few of the terms are different for the Army but the message is the same. I would recommend it to any military wife, no matter how long you have been in.
March 1, 2011
Actually a book I could identify with and learn something from! Not your typical: your calling cards should be printed on..., cocktail attire means..., learn to identify every insignia in the world type book.
April 3, 2017
Overall, I would suggest this to navy wives because more of the lingo is navy lingo. I'm an army wife, so it was a bit over my head sometimes. It had a lot of good messages in it, but I think it was bogged down by a lot of fluff and the way it was written irritated me.
July 15, 2012
It was geared slightly more towards Navy wives. I've been a military wife for almost ten years, and I still learned some things and had others reinforced. For someone just starting out, it might help quite a bit.
July 29, 2008
So far...so great...this book is hillarious. And SO TRUE!!
June 30, 2008
Fabulous book for spouses of service members. I have read and re-read it and will probably do it again!
Want to read
February 7, 2010I met the author last week and I can't wait to start reading this book.
September 26, 2010
A MUST-READ for military spouses!
March 26, 2013
Hilarious! I feel much better and more prepared for the journey ahead.
September 5, 2014
Great addition to any military wife's book shelf!
Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews