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My Depression: A Picture Book
A moving memoir in words and pictures of one woman's struggle with the little black cloud of depression pening up the darkest corners of her world, author Elizabeth Swados takes us on an unforgettable journey that is by turns poignant and funny, and will be undoubtedly familiar to those who suffer from depression and those who love them. Through the author's whimsical drawings, readers get a unique view of the experience of from the struggle to keep her condition a secret, to the strange effects of 'new' drugs, to the small things that can trigger relapses. For the thousands of Americans who suffer from depression, My Depression is a gentle reminder that they are not alone and that they can lead a fulfilling and happy life. It is an evocative, readable, and engaging story of an illness that is finally gaining widespread attention.
176 pages, Hardcover
First published April 13, 2005
17 people are currently reading
657 people want to read
About the author
Elizabeth Swados
61 books4 followersElizabeth Swados (February 5, 1951 – January 5, 2016) was an American writer, composer, musician and theatre director. While some of her subject matter is humorous, such as her satirical look at Ronald Reagan (Rap Master Ronnie) and Doonesbury — both collaborations with Garry Trudeau — much of her work deals with darker issues such as racism, murder and mental illness.
Born February 5, 1951 in Buffalo, New York, Swados wrote about her life in her 1991 autobiography, The Four of Us, A Family Memoir, published by Farrar, Straus and Giroux.
Her father, Robert O. Swados, was a successful attorney who helped Seymour H. Knox III convert the local Buffalo Sabres hockey club into a full National Hockey League team. His autobiography, Counsel in the Crease: A Big League Player in the Hockey Wars was published by Prometheus Books in 2005.
Her mother struggled with depression, while her older brother (and only sibling) Lincoln developed schizophrenia. Her mother committed suicide in 1974, and Lincoln died in 1989. Swados suffered from depression, a condition she discussed in her book, My Depression: A Picture Book.
She studied music at Bennington College in Vermont, receiving her Bachelor of Arts degree in 1973. In 1980, the Hobart and William Smith College awarded her an honorary doctorate in Humane Letters.
Swados died from complications following surgery for esophageal cancer on January 5, 2016. She was 64.
(from Wikipedia)
Born February 5, 1951 in Buffalo, New York, Swados wrote about her life in her 1991 autobiography, The Four of Us, A Family Memoir, published by Farrar, Straus and Giroux.
Her father, Robert O. Swados, was a successful attorney who helped Seymour H. Knox III convert the local Buffalo Sabres hockey club into a full National Hockey League team. His autobiography, Counsel in the Crease: A Big League Player in the Hockey Wars was published by Prometheus Books in 2005.
Her mother struggled with depression, while her older brother (and only sibling) Lincoln developed schizophrenia. Her mother committed suicide in 1974, and Lincoln died in 1989. Swados suffered from depression, a condition she discussed in her book, My Depression: A Picture Book.
She studied music at Bennington College in Vermont, receiving her Bachelor of Arts degree in 1973. In 1980, the Hobart and William Smith College awarded her an honorary doctorate in Humane Letters.
Swados died from complications following surgery for esophageal cancer on January 5, 2016. She was 64.
(from Wikipedia)
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 74 reviews
April 19, 2014
Good book with some humor about her struggles with depression, meant to be educative about depression in general but also a kind of honest memoir about what the process of her going into a depression is like. The drawings are… accessible, which is to say that they are like doodles, quick sketches anyone might make, like we can relate to her, vs. polished professional artistry…. but they are also good at getting at what she experiences, too. You can see how difficult and annoying she is to be around when she is crazy depressed, so that's interesting… and also, ironically annoying! :) But I think this book would be useful for those experiencing deep depression or those who are friends and family having to deal with those depressed...
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April 27, 2018Very quick read. I’m not entirely sure how to review this book. The author gives numerous examples of how depression looks and feels for her. I battle and have been battling this illness every day for most of my life. The end of the book, where she is discussing medications, was probably the part that hit closest home to me, as I have been on quite a few so far in my life. Some work okay. Others do not.
March 5, 2019
This is, upon second reading and a lot of time contemplating it, perhaps one of my favorite books. It's not one of those "books for the blues" type photo books you find in line at Marshall's - it is a direct, from an artist of great renown, real look into the PITS of depression, lack of self worth, and doubt. The illustrations are that fun, Shel Silverstein-ish pen and ink and when I read this book the first time, in the library of my best friend's new town he moved to many months ago, I said to myself - I would get a tattoo of one of these drawings, truly. This book makes me feel better. For ever imaginable reason ; because this little penned character feels worse than me right now (selfish reason) because this autobiographical work is SUPER honest about the ups and downs of an artistic life, because the drawings are funny and happy, really....and, because its a REAL peek into someone's life, someone I look up to.
June 18, 2017
Nice pictures, mostly infuriating tone with lots of back door brags.
June 25, 2020
Hmmm. This is a tough one. I don't fairly think I can critique someone's expression of their depression, but it's a book, and I read it, so...
This felt like reading someone's journal. Which doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing, but I think it could have benefited from an edit from a step back. It was as if it were a book just for the author, when a bit more understanding about how those problems are so similar to those of other people with depression could have helped. This is honest, though. Almost painfully so. There are parts when I truly don't understand how her friends stayed her friends when they were treated that way. As someone who has friends and family with depression, it has been important for me to set boundaries so that I am not treated as a punching bag for someone else's issues. I am there to support people, and obviously, in the cases of people I care for, I do everything I can to help. But depression is not an excuse to be a jerk.
I'm probably being too harsh. But depression is exhausting for those around the depressed person, too, and it is hard to be expected to put up with being treated so badly by someone who needs your help.
This felt like reading someone's journal. Which doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing, but I think it could have benefited from an edit from a step back. It was as if it were a book just for the author, when a bit more understanding about how those problems are so similar to those of other people with depression could have helped. This is honest, though. Almost painfully so. There are parts when I truly don't understand how her friends stayed her friends when they were treated that way. As someone who has friends and family with depression, it has been important for me to set boundaries so that I am not treated as a punching bag for someone else's issues. I am there to support people, and obviously, in the cases of people I care for, I do everything I can to help. But depression is not an excuse to be a jerk.
I'm probably being too harsh. But depression is exhausting for those around the depressed person, too, and it is hard to be expected to put up with being treated so badly by someone who needs your help.
September 5, 2024
This book marks the first i've read in my college library, and im pretty pleased with that :) Super super stoked to read loads and loads of books this semester! I feel like if I read this during my peak depression days I would have really cried. I am doing much better, but obvisouly, as discussed in this book: depression comes back every now and then. I have kind of learned how to deal with it in a less self-destructive way. The sun rises every morning and things do get better folks :,)
January 14, 2025
Read in the Mendocino library in Ukiah. Very relatable, encouraging and inspiring & also a quick read. Highly recommend to anyone struggling with depression, supporting someone who is or just wants to know more about the inner experience of it. Excellent insight to the experience presented in a relatable and accessible way. Thankful to the author for this gem.
July 31, 2017
A good overview of what it's like to suffer from depression and anxiety. I felt like the ending was a little rushed, though. Loved the artwork.
April 7, 2018
Simple and relatable, composer Swados illustrates what her life is like when she is depressed.
April 22, 2024
Comics make the heavy topic more approachable
August 14, 2015
I found out about this book from watching the HBO special based on it but I think having seen the special first took away a lot of the impact that this book could have had on me. I loved the special and it is one of the most powerful animated shorts I've ever seen. There was a few times where I felt that lump in my throat and I am not a person who cries very easily.
Anyway, I don't feel that I can fairly say this book didn't have that same power. Had I not already seen the special this might have had the same effect on me because as someone who has suffered from depression themselves for most of their life I can definitely relate to Elizabeth Swados' struggle. Speaking of that, there's a quote from Gloria Steinem on the front of the edition I bought that says, "Elizabeth Swados has created the first book about depression that isn't depressing" ... I would strongly disagree with that statement. I would even go a step further and issue a warning that if you have experienced depression, or if you know someone who is depressed, this book WILL be depressing. I mean how could you read about someone else's sadness and not reflect on your own? But this could just be because I have the same "brand" of depression Swados describes here.
I must have been in the right frame of mind when I read this because I actually view the resurfacing of these "bad" memories in a positive light. I guess it's nice to remember how I felt and how I acted when my depression was at it's worst, to compare it to how good I'm able to feel now and to remind myself not allow myself go back to that place.
I liked that this was a quick read because I think it's probably best read in one sitting. I saw another reviewer here criticize the "safe" and "simple" ending and I wholeheartedly agree. However, I have to wonder if Swados did this neat little wrap up simply because there is no real ending to chronic depression. It did seem disingenuous though, and I would prefer something real to an attempt to uplift.
The artwork was great in my opinion but her style probably wouldn't appeal to everyone. I only just started reading graphic novels in the past couple months so I haven't really developed a metric to determine how objectively good it is yet but I think the looseness of her drawings portrayed a lot of the feelings extraordinarily well.
Overall, a pretty darn good book.
Anyway, I don't feel that I can fairly say this book didn't have that same power. Had I not already seen the special this might have had the same effect on me because as someone who has suffered from depression themselves for most of their life I can definitely relate to Elizabeth Swados' struggle. Speaking of that, there's a quote from Gloria Steinem on the front of the edition I bought that says, "Elizabeth Swados has created the first book about depression that isn't depressing" ... I would strongly disagree with that statement. I would even go a step further and issue a warning that if you have experienced depression, or if you know someone who is depressed, this book WILL be depressing. I mean how could you read about someone else's sadness and not reflect on your own? But this could just be because I have the same "brand" of depression Swados describes here.
I must have been in the right frame of mind when I read this because I actually view the resurfacing of these "bad" memories in a positive light. I guess it's nice to remember how I felt and how I acted when my depression was at it's worst, to compare it to how good I'm able to feel now and to remind myself not allow myself go back to that place.
I liked that this was a quick read because I think it's probably best read in one sitting. I saw another reviewer here criticize the "safe" and "simple" ending and I wholeheartedly agree. However, I have to wonder if Swados did this neat little wrap up simply because there is no real ending to chronic depression. It did seem disingenuous though, and I would prefer something real to an attempt to uplift.
The artwork was great in my opinion but her style probably wouldn't appeal to everyone. I only just started reading graphic novels in the past couple months so I haven't really developed a metric to determine how objectively good it is yet but I think the looseness of her drawings portrayed a lot of the feelings extraordinarily well.
Overall, a pretty darn good book.
April 7, 2014
This is an accurate portrayal of what it's like to suffer from depression. However, I think the author does tend to contradict herself a little bit, in that in the beginning she criticizes people for telling her to do X, Y, and Z to snap out of it... but toward the end mentions that doing X, Y, and Z can help you snap out of it. Overall, though, a good and entertaining read about the life of someone who struggles with depression.
March 2, 2021
CW: Suicide //
Honestly, I liked this book as a process for the author but felt kinda meh about reading it myself because it read like an illustrated journal entry. It's a quick read and could be a good entry point for someone who has not experienced depression to see what it can be like and better support a depressed or suicidal friend or family member.
Honestly, I liked this book as a process for the author but felt kinda meh about reading it myself because it read like an illustrated journal entry. It's a quick read and could be a good entry point for someone who has not experienced depression to see what it can be like and better support a depressed or suicidal friend or family member.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 3, 2016
I can completely relate to this unsparingly honest, poignant, and funny graphic depiction of depression. In words and pictures, Swados captures perfectly chaos and darkness of this damned affliction with which I am intimately familiar.
August 8, 2016
3.5/5
December 6, 2025
This is honestly the second best book I've read about depression. Coincidentally enough, the first one being "Hyperbole and a Half: Unfortunate Situations, Flawed Coping Mechanisms, Mayhem, and Other Things That Happened" by Allie Brosh, also features drawing deliberately created from the "Suck-O-Tastic" school of creating art. Hmmm, maybe there's something to be said for tackling hard subjects in a cutesy, kid-like form people can point and laugh at? It gets your guard down and makes you think it's going to all be funny anecdotes and things to giggle at. By the time you realize you're invested in this story of mental health, you're already in too deep to set down the book.
At first, I wasn't really onboard with the odd style and scribbly words that made up the book because it just looked messy, weird, and frankly some of the words were hard to read. But as it went on, I found myself getting absorbed more into what the author was trying to actually say, not necessarily the kindergarten-like scribbles on the page. I think that this book is messy and weird but it also doesn't hold back when it comes to talking about depression. That's a subject many people still feel is taboo to discuss, and really, considering we're closer to 2030 than we are to the year 2000, it's time for that taboo to be shattered into irreparable pieces, put in the trash, and have the trash shot out of a cannon over the horizon. This book is a good start to that, allowing for conversations to start after reading it with those around you instead of just mulling it over yourself. It'll stick with you and hopefully be something that helps to either figure yourself out better or understand someone in your life a little more than you originally thought.
At first, I wasn't really onboard with the odd style and scribbly words that made up the book because it just looked messy, weird, and frankly some of the words were hard to read. But as it went on, I found myself getting absorbed more into what the author was trying to actually say, not necessarily the kindergarten-like scribbles on the page. I think that this book is messy and weird but it also doesn't hold back when it comes to talking about depression. That's a subject many people still feel is taboo to discuss, and really, considering we're closer to 2030 than we are to the year 2000, it's time for that taboo to be shattered into irreparable pieces, put in the trash, and have the trash shot out of a cannon over the horizon. This book is a good start to that, allowing for conversations to start after reading it with those around you instead of just mulling it over yourself. It'll stick with you and hopefully be something that helps to either figure yourself out better or understand someone in your life a little more than you originally thought.
July 27, 2023
This is such a wonderful book written (actually, drawn and created) by Elizabeth Swados.
Artistic, Creative, Honest and Deep!
"Some still say there is no such thing as mental or emotional illness."
But remember as Elizabeth Swados says:
DON'T BE FOOLED
"They're either lying or denying or they haven't been there..."
We all have someone, either ourselves or a loved one, who is going through an emotionally difficult and trying time. In order for us to be helpful or even be there for our loved ones, it is so important for us to first understand what it is like to be in the "black hole". It is our responsibility to educate ourselves and read as much as possible on emotional illnesses. You may end up helping someone get through this once... and eventually maybe save a life....
(Source: lifeposts.com)
Elizabeth Swados (February 5, 1951 – January 5, 2016) was an American writer, composer, musician and theatre director.
Artistic, Creative, Honest and Deep!
"Some still say there is no such thing as mental or emotional illness."
But remember as Elizabeth Swados says:
DON'T BE FOOLED
"They're either lying or denying or they haven't been there..."
We all have someone, either ourselves or a loved one, who is going through an emotionally difficult and trying time. In order for us to be helpful or even be there for our loved ones, it is so important for us to first understand what it is like to be in the "black hole". It is our responsibility to educate ourselves and read as much as possible on emotional illnesses. You may end up helping someone get through this once... and eventually maybe save a life....
The bottom of the bottom of the bottom...
You survive a little at a time.
Getting past depression is big stuff.
Life is truly such a precious gift.
What a great life I have!
(Source: lifeposts.com)
Elizabeth Swados (February 5, 1951 – January 5, 2016) was an American writer, composer, musician and theatre director.
January 5, 2022
An autobiographical comic about the author's relationship to bipolar disorder (referred to as "depression" in the text, but that usually connotes unipolar depression and the author at least describes some hypomanic symptoms like cutting up her clothes to make a new article of clothing for someone and writing a novel in 8 days.) Covers topics like how a depressive episode starts, what symptoms she experiences, treatments she's tried (both professional and DIY), how her family history might be important, and how it affects her relationships. A good entry for graphic medicine.
June 26, 2023
關於原著作者，譯者也負責導讀的李靜宜寫得很清楚，簡言之，就是外人看著含著金湯匙出生的女孩，27歲就在身兼編劇、導演、作曲的音樂劇嶄露頭角，不但獲獎無數，還捧紅了好幾位超級巨星，之後更在小說、詩歌、繪畫、電影……無數藝術領域大放異彩，事業順風順水，令人羨慕不已。
但直到她出版了家族傳記，這才知道華麗袍子下，她的家庭其實千瘡百孔：父親外遇，母親憂鬱症、酗酒，最後自殺身亡；哥哥多次自殺後來殘廢而亡。這位敏感的女孩從小不知道該如何自處，嘗試各種放縱甚至幾乎毀滅自己的方法後，終於真誠面對家族遺傳的疾病，並將這一路和憂鬱症掙扎搏鬥的過程，用圖文的方法描繪記錄下來。
憂鬱症就像感冒一樣，每個人都可能染上。幸運的是，多數都可用藥物控制而獲得改善，更多可以治癒的。一時的「想不開」最需要借助外力來幫忙來「想開」或者「不要想」，光靠自己單打獨鬥勝算較低，得集合眾人之力才能獲得最後勝利。
然而所有的改變，都得從「想要變好」的出發點開始。就醫，尋找專業幫助，強烈想要脫離現狀的慾望，才可能慢慢將生活帶回較受自己控制的軌道上。
只有面對才有可能擊敗敵人。背對追兵狂奔，終究會因力竭而遭毀滅。這本小書紀錄憂鬱症患者的症狀和努力，解藥無法複製，但可以模仿，只要你想要被解救。
但直到她出版了家族傳記，這才知道華麗袍子下，她的家庭其實千瘡百孔：父親外遇，母親憂鬱症、酗酒，最後自殺身亡；哥哥多次自殺後來殘廢而亡。這位敏感的女孩從小不知道該如何自處，嘗試各種放縱甚至幾乎毀滅自己的方法後，終於真誠面對家族遺傳的疾病，並將這一路和憂鬱症掙扎搏鬥的過程，用圖文的方法描繪記錄下來。
憂鬱症就像感冒一樣，每個人都可能染上。幸運的是，多數都可用藥物控制而獲得改善，更多可以治癒的。一時的「想不開」最需要借助外力來幫忙來「想開」或者「不要想」，光靠自己單打獨鬥勝算較低，得集合眾人之力才能獲得最後勝利。
然而所有的改變，都得從「想要變好」的出發點開始。就醫，尋找專業幫助，強烈想要脫離現狀的慾望，才可能慢慢將生活帶回較受自己控制的軌道上。
只有面對才有可能擊敗敵人。背對追兵狂奔，終究會因力竭而遭毀滅。這本小書紀錄憂鬱症患者的症狀和努力，解藥無法複製，但可以模仿，只要你想要被解救。
June 5, 2017
A good glimpse into depression that goes deeper than sappy "pick yourself up" or "it will pass" aphorisms. Easy to read, often funny, but also sad and easy to empathize with. Swados' messy art style might not work for all, but I think it suits the subject matter well, and is exactly the kind of book that might help someone not depressed understand it, and also be palatable, even life-saving, to someone who's in the thick of one.
May 26, 2018
Checked this book out from the Army library months ago and gave up after problems with the images. Finally went back to read it after figuring out how to turn pages. RBdigital does not play well with graphic novels.
Ms. Swados captures her depression with a touch of humor and encouragement for anyone that might be suffering as well. I enjoyed the almost stick figure artwork and recommend it for those who want to know what it feels like when you're stuck in the black hole of depression.
Ms. Swados captures her depression with a touch of humor and encouragement for anyone that might be suffering as well. I enjoyed the almost stick figure artwork and recommend it for those who want to know what it feels like when you're stuck in the black hole of depression.
October 9, 2019
This one made me cry. I loved it and will recommend it to quite a few friends. The greatest part being, it's an easy read for someone actually in the midst of a depression and it makes you feel less alone. Although every person's depression is different, there are going to be things that anyone with depression recognizes.
May 22, 2017
A fine depiction of her personal struggle against depression with humor; I don't find it very helpful to me anyway. I thought, at least, it would teach me some little tricks about how to fight against depression or some encouragements for those who are still suffering from depression-- but no.
June 10, 2017
So good.
Hard, but so good.
Hard, but so good.
November 20, 2017
Fehhhh. Another illness/medicine memoir that.... begs the question, who did you make this for? Did you make it for yourself? Cool. Did it need to be published? Idk. Crab crab.
June 9, 2018
Wow, wow, wow -- a book about depression that isn't depressing. Manages to capture the chaos and hell of living with depression and surviving without giving up hope.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 22, 2021
A really good book
January 27, 2023
Relatable. Not the graphic novel style I prefer. I wish the ending had info for suicide hotlines or websites or groups.
February 12, 2025
Quick and good educative read on depression. Loved Swados’ use of humor and her little comics!
October 3, 2025
You survive a little at a time.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 74 reviews