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The Housekeeper's Diary: Charles and Diana Before the Breakup
As housekeeper to Prince Charles and Princess Diana at their Highgrove mansion from 1985 until the royal couple's 1992 separation, Wendy Berry witnessed the slow disintegration of what was initially christened a fairy tale marriage. To her, it was clear from the very beginning that these two people, each possessing singularly admirable qualities and capable of great affection, found it impossible to live together harmoniously.
Now, defying a centuries old obligation on royal servants not to discuss the affairs and behaviour of the royal family, Wendy Barry has revealed this day by day detailed account of the mounting troubles inside Highgrove. She chronicles the growing emotional turmoil of a disintegrating relationship as witnessed by herself and other staff, and how both Prince and Princess sought comfort outside their marriage while trying to maintain the fairy tale public image.
The turmoil at Highgrove often involved the butlers, cooks, dressers and valets as much as it did the Prince and Princess of Wales. They were the witnesses to the royal couple's sometimes illicit visitors, to the physical and psychological effects of Diana's struggle with bulimia, and Charles's secret night excursions and obsessive interest in his house and garden. Often the staff were caught in the crossfire of these two people who were tearing each other apart emotionally.
Despite all of these problems, however, the Highgrove staff maintained an affectionate respect for both the Prince and the Princess. Contrary to news reports portraying Charles as an uncaring father, the staff viewed him as having loving relationship with his two sons, and there were good times and laughter with Diana.
After the uproar caused by Diana's allowing her friends intimate details of her marriage in a book and the subsequent controversy over Prince Charles's biography, Wendy Berry has decided to set the record straight with 'The Housekeeper's Diary'.
The first book by a Highgrove insider, it is a fascinating first hand account without partisanship for Charles or Diana of what life is really like living in close contact with two of the most famous people in the world.
Now, defying a centuries old obligation on royal servants not to discuss the affairs and behaviour of the royal family, Wendy Barry has revealed this day by day detailed account of the mounting troubles inside Highgrove. She chronicles the growing emotional turmoil of a disintegrating relationship as witnessed by herself and other staff, and how both Prince and Princess sought comfort outside their marriage while trying to maintain the fairy tale public image.
The turmoil at Highgrove often involved the butlers, cooks, dressers and valets as much as it did the Prince and Princess of Wales. They were the witnesses to the royal couple's sometimes illicit visitors, to the physical and psychological effects of Diana's struggle with bulimia, and Charles's secret night excursions and obsessive interest in his house and garden. Often the staff were caught in the crossfire of these two people who were tearing each other apart emotionally.
Despite all of these problems, however, the Highgrove staff maintained an affectionate respect for both the Prince and the Princess. Contrary to news reports portraying Charles as an uncaring father, the staff viewed him as having loving relationship with his two sons, and there were good times and laughter with Diana.
After the uproar caused by Diana's allowing her friends intimate details of her marriage in a book and the subsequent controversy over Prince Charles's biography, Wendy Berry has decided to set the record straight with 'The Housekeeper's Diary'.
The first book by a Highgrove insider, it is a fascinating first hand account without partisanship for Charles or Diana of what life is really like living in close contact with two of the most famous people in the world.
194 pages, Hardcover
First published August 1, 1995
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 59 reviews
January 6, 2022
4.5 Stars
My son gifted me the hardcover of this book for Christmas which originally came out in 1995. Apparently, this book is banned in Britain and states so on the cover! This is because their housekeeper Wendy Berry at Highgrove (the country retreat beloved by Prince Charles) broke protocol by writing a book about her royal employers. By working as a housekeeper she actually was downgrading her talents because she was an English teacher before that. Circumstances arose where an opening came about for the position at Highgrove. Her son James was already working for the royals, and mentioned his mother to Princess Diana. Diana pounced on this and quickly arranged a meeting with Wendy that seemed to be almost a formality to her getting the job. It included housing in "The Lodge" which was on the Highgrove grounds, which along with the modest salary (and most of all the chance to work for the Prince and Princess of Wales) was a job offer she snapped up. She worked at Highgrove for the Wales' from 1985-1992, ending after the royal couple separated.
I have loads of hardcover books from over the decades about Princess Diana, as well as some on kindle, so when I can find something I haven't read with some new juicy tidbits, I read them greedily. This book was the perfect diversion. It was only 186 pages and had color photos from Wendy's time working at Highgrove. I can see how Ms. Berry had been an English teacher because her writing is flawless, gifted and wonderful. She dished about the royals' daily schedules which included when they bathed, some of the products they used, and foods they ate. Unfortunately, it also told in excruciating detail about the destruction of their marriage. It was like watching a train wreck. I was fascinated with the list of instructions given to Wendy on exactly what had to be cleaned in the house each day and how, which was quite detailed. It was horrifying to read about the bonfires that would periodically be set to burn up unwanted gifts such as furniture, stuffed animals sent to the princes and other bric-a- brac- to avoid the exploitation if given away- just to be sold because they had once belonged to the royal couple. Diana is depicted as very moody and vindictive towards Charles and staff, and who could just as easily be over friendly until she decided to freeze you out. The books ends with Princess Diana leaving Highgrove for the last time after the formal separation from Charles. At the time this book was written, no one knew that the Princess only had another two years to live, and it also wasn't yet known that she had personally made the interview tapes given to Andrew Morton to expose the sham of her marriage. However, this "period piece" was just as fascinating today as it would have been in 1995 because of the minute detail of their life at Highgrove. Thank you to my son who made a great pick off my Christmas Wish List!
My son gifted me the hardcover of this book for Christmas which originally came out in 1995. Apparently, this book is banned in Britain and states so on the cover! This is because their housekeeper Wendy Berry at Highgrove (the country retreat beloved by Prince Charles) broke protocol by writing a book about her royal employers. By working as a housekeeper she actually was downgrading her talents because she was an English teacher before that. Circumstances arose where an opening came about for the position at Highgrove. Her son James was already working for the royals, and mentioned his mother to Princess Diana. Diana pounced on this and quickly arranged a meeting with Wendy that seemed to be almost a formality to her getting the job. It included housing in "The Lodge" which was on the Highgrove grounds, which along with the modest salary (and most of all the chance to work for the Prince and Princess of Wales) was a job offer she snapped up. She worked at Highgrove for the Wales' from 1985-1992, ending after the royal couple separated.
I have loads of hardcover books from over the decades about Princess Diana, as well as some on kindle, so when I can find something I haven't read with some new juicy tidbits, I read them greedily. This book was the perfect diversion. It was only 186 pages and had color photos from Wendy's time working at Highgrove. I can see how Ms. Berry had been an English teacher because her writing is flawless, gifted and wonderful. She dished about the royals' daily schedules which included when they bathed, some of the products they used, and foods they ate. Unfortunately, it also told in excruciating detail about the destruction of their marriage. It was like watching a train wreck. I was fascinated with the list of instructions given to Wendy on exactly what had to be cleaned in the house each day and how, which was quite detailed. It was horrifying to read about the bonfires that would periodically be set to burn up unwanted gifts such as furniture, stuffed animals sent to the princes and other bric-a- brac- to avoid the exploitation if given away- just to be sold because they had once belonged to the royal couple. Diana is depicted as very moody and vindictive towards Charles and staff, and who could just as easily be over friendly until she decided to freeze you out. The books ends with Princess Diana leaving Highgrove for the last time after the formal separation from Charles. At the time this book was written, no one knew that the Princess only had another two years to live, and it also wasn't yet known that she had personally made the interview tapes given to Andrew Morton to expose the sham of her marriage. However, this "period piece" was just as fascinating today as it would have been in 1995 because of the minute detail of their life at Highgrove. Thank you to my son who made a great pick off my Christmas Wish List!
April 19, 2024
I quite enjoyed this. But full disclosure: I didn't read every word... I actually listened to a wonderful YouTuber [The Vintage Read Show] Reading portions of this book while reviewing it in depth chapter by chapter. It's possible that her Aussie charm and humor make the read more enjoyable than if I were to read it in full on my own, but it's out of print and very difficult to get. So I settled for a less than conventional method of consuming this one.
Now, another disclaimer - I'm American. And, I would certainly not characterize myself as a monarchist. I'm probably more of a neutralist when it comes to the British royal family, though I do quite like Catherine, Princess of Wales (what I know of her at least, through binoculars across the pond). And while I usually refer to them by their titles as it's polite to do so, in this review/from this point on they'll be Charles and Diana.
I was born in '85 so I was young during the Diana glory days... and I'm not sure if that contributes to or detracts from the fact that I never truly drank the Diana kool-aid. I understand why people loved/love her. I also understand why people didn't/don't.
Since I've always seen Diana as a very interesting and important but ultimately flawed human as opposed to a saint, it wasn't as much as a struggle for me to hear a less-than-flattering account of her life with Charles.
The scope of this book is unique in that it is written by the woman who was the housekeeper at Highgrove during the years Charles and Diana were together. Because the author Wendy Berry was only in service at Highgrove, the scope of her experience does not extend to what was/was not going on at, say, Kensington palace or Sandringham or Balmoral. But while the scope is more narrow it is quite intimate and gives a good deal of juicy detail. And I've got to say, the thing that endeared me the most to this book was the way that she (Mary) really didn't flatter Charles or Diana over one another. She had good things to say about both, and not so good things to say about both. And I personally really appreciated that.
Things that stood out to me were the way that the entire staff apparently felt very sad and frustrated at the way that Charles was represented to the public as a poor father when according to Mary, they witnessed him being a very loving and caring father that was doing his best in the face of a restrictive system, natural and learned emotional reservedness, and a wife who was frequently distressed, unwell, and volatile. On the other hand, Diana was clearly deeply unhappy and acted out, a lot. And the tension and stress in that household was absolutely insane. I actually came out of this feeling the worst for the boys.
I really dislike Harry, especially in light of his behavior in recent years, and yet this book did cause me to have empathy for both he and William after hearing about the incredibly volatile and stressful environment they grew up in. I don't know how anyone could go through that without some residual damage.
While I'm not well read on Diana, one thing this account made very clear was that Diana and Charles were ultimately so very poorly suited and both of them really suffered in the marriage. They also both made some really bad decisions and ultimately, they all - Charles, Diana, William, and Harry - were all damaged by the experience.
An interesting read if you can get your hands on it, and be sure to remember this is one person's account; take it with a grain of salt!
Now, another disclaimer - I'm American. And, I would certainly not characterize myself as a monarchist. I'm probably more of a neutralist when it comes to the British royal family, though I do quite like Catherine, Princess of Wales (what I know of her at least, through binoculars across the pond). And while I usually refer to them by their titles as it's polite to do so, in this review/from this point on they'll be Charles and Diana.
I was born in '85 so I was young during the Diana glory days... and I'm not sure if that contributes to or detracts from the fact that I never truly drank the Diana kool-aid. I understand why people loved/love her. I also understand why people didn't/don't.
Since I've always seen Diana as a very interesting and important but ultimately flawed human as opposed to a saint, it wasn't as much as a struggle for me to hear a less-than-flattering account of her life with Charles.
The scope of this book is unique in that it is written by the woman who was the housekeeper at Highgrove during the years Charles and Diana were together. Because the author Wendy Berry was only in service at Highgrove, the scope of her experience does not extend to what was/was not going on at, say, Kensington palace or Sandringham or Balmoral. But while the scope is more narrow it is quite intimate and gives a good deal of juicy detail. And I've got to say, the thing that endeared me the most to this book was the way that she (Mary) really didn't flatter Charles or Diana over one another. She had good things to say about both, and not so good things to say about both. And I personally really appreciated that.
Things that stood out to me were the way that the entire staff apparently felt very sad and frustrated at the way that Charles was represented to the public as a poor father when according to Mary, they witnessed him being a very loving and caring father that was doing his best in the face of a restrictive system, natural and learned emotional reservedness, and a wife who was frequently distressed, unwell, and volatile. On the other hand, Diana was clearly deeply unhappy and acted out, a lot. And the tension and stress in that household was absolutely insane. I actually came out of this feeling the worst for the boys.
I really dislike Harry, especially in light of his behavior in recent years, and yet this book did cause me to have empathy for both he and William after hearing about the incredibly volatile and stressful environment they grew up in. I don't know how anyone could go through that without some residual damage.
While I'm not well read on Diana, one thing this account made very clear was that Diana and Charles were ultimately so very poorly suited and both of them really suffered in the marriage. They also both made some really bad decisions and ultimately, they all - Charles, Diana, William, and Harry - were all damaged by the experience.
An interesting read if you can get your hands on it, and be sure to remember this is one person's account; take it with a grain of salt!
October 16, 2024
Fascinating - almost unbelievable -'Banned in Britain' states a banner on the front cover. I can't for the life of me think why because there doesn't seem to be much in the book that the British public didn't know about. I feel sure most of the tantrums, love affairs, arguments, the fairy tale public image etc etc have all been covered somewhere in the press or in other books.
This is not to say that 'The Housekeeper's Diary' is uninteresting, it is not, it is quite the reverse for it brings home exactly how this unfortunate marriage unfolded at Highgrove. The amazing fact is that it lasted so long when one reads what was going on and the tantrums that both parties threw at one time or another.
There were obviously faults on both sides and these are highlighted but what is difficult to comprehend is the rudeness of the two parties to the staff that were genuinely trying to look after them. The only difference was that one of them would soon revert to a state of bonhomie while the other would sulk for days, or in some cases weeks, on end. One can understand the rude, and sometimes unfair, repartee between the two warring parties because once relations had broken down, anything seemed to have been fair game, but to then take it out on the staff is another thing.
In fairness to Mary Berry, and according to her reports, to the rest of the staff as well, respect for the two parties was never lost, which I feel was very stoic of them; I am not sure I could have put up with it all! But I suppose there were odd occasions when dinners and barbecues were specially laid on for the staff and they were encouraged to mingle a little.
Both parties eventually took comfort outside their joint relationship and in the end that proved to much to bear and a breakup of the marriage was inevitable. But this had to be agreed with the Queen, who features only spasmodically throughout the book.
As a light read it is entertaining enough not to be put down until finished, so what more can a reader ask?
This is not to say that 'The Housekeeper's Diary' is uninteresting, it is not, it is quite the reverse for it brings home exactly how this unfortunate marriage unfolded at Highgrove. The amazing fact is that it lasted so long when one reads what was going on and the tantrums that both parties threw at one time or another.
There were obviously faults on both sides and these are highlighted but what is difficult to comprehend is the rudeness of the two parties to the staff that were genuinely trying to look after them. The only difference was that one of them would soon revert to a state of bonhomie while the other would sulk for days, or in some cases weeks, on end. One can understand the rude, and sometimes unfair, repartee between the two warring parties because once relations had broken down, anything seemed to have been fair game, but to then take it out on the staff is another thing.
In fairness to Mary Berry, and according to her reports, to the rest of the staff as well, respect for the two parties was never lost, which I feel was very stoic of them; I am not sure I could have put up with it all! But I suppose there were odd occasions when dinners and barbecues were specially laid on for the staff and they were encouraged to mingle a little.
Both parties eventually took comfort outside their joint relationship and in the end that proved to much to bear and a breakup of the marriage was inevitable. But this had to be agreed with the Queen, who features only spasmodically throughout the book.
As a light read it is entertaining enough not to be put down until finished, so what more can a reader ask?
May 25, 2015
I did like the book and can agree with some of the less than stellar reviews.
Diana was quite mercurial and took out her emotions on the staff and this shows. To be fair, Charles fired everyone at Highgrove after the separation which I found worse than Diana's moods.
I found it interesting nonetheless, to see Highgrove's ups and downs from a staff's perspective. And she does have some good tidbits about the Wales'. Her oft repeated idea that a daughter would save their marriage brought the book down for me though.
Diana was quite mercurial and took out her emotions on the staff and this shows. To be fair, Charles fired everyone at Highgrove after the separation which I found worse than Diana's moods.
I found it interesting nonetheless, to see Highgrove's ups and downs from a staff's perspective. And she does have some good tidbits about the Wales'. Her oft repeated idea that a daughter would save their marriage brought the book down for me though.
October 23, 2011
This book was copyrighted in 1995, two years before Diana died. It was written by a former housekeeper of Di and Charles' weekend home. The housekeeper had left under poor circumstances and was angry. I felt that the book was a fair assessment of the situation. This book did not put Diana in a good light when she was in private. This book did take Diana off her pedestal for me. I am glad I read it.
July 4, 2011
This book was banned here in the UK although I don't know why as everything in here is more or less common knowledge now. Good read - thoroughly enjoyed it.
Back Cover Blurb:
As housekeeper to Prince Charles and Princess Diana at their Highgrove mansion from 1985 until the royal couple's 1992 separation, Wendy Berry witnessed the slow disintegration of what was initially christened a fairy tale marriage. To her, it was clear from the very beginning that these two people, each possessing singularly admirable qualities and capable of great affection, found it impossible to live together harmoniously.
The first book by a Highgrove insider, it is a fascinating first hand account without partisanship for Charles or Diana of what life was really like living in close contact with two of the most famous people in the world.
Back Cover Blurb:
As housekeeper to Prince Charles and Princess Diana at their Highgrove mansion from 1985 until the royal couple's 1992 separation, Wendy Berry witnessed the slow disintegration of what was initially christened a fairy tale marriage. To her, it was clear from the very beginning that these two people, each possessing singularly admirable qualities and capable of great affection, found it impossible to live together harmoniously.
The first book by a Highgrove insider, it is a fascinating first hand account without partisanship for Charles or Diana of what life was really like living in close contact with two of the most famous people in the world.
April 30, 2024
Wow,...where to start? This was a horrid book--primarily because the author has such a massive chip on her shoulder. She doesn't have a lot positive to say about Charles (and, frankly, neither would I since he did cheat on Diana from the get-go), but she still seems to take his side a lot and goes out of her way to portray Diana as horrid, selfish, cruel, and lacking any semblance of emotional control. I'm sorry, but even though I never met Princess Diana, I find the author's portrayal of her simply preposterous and deeply unfair. Ms. Berry also relates alleged conversations for which she was never present, which calls the entire book into question. So, after a few pages, it became pretty apparent that I would have to take everything she claimed with a huge grain of salt. I believe almost nothing of what she relates here and also believe the book does little but reflect very poorly on the author herself as an angry, bitter, and vindictive individual. It's unfortunate.
November 4, 2018
If you're looking for a real "day in the life" of HRH, Prince Charles and his then-wife, Princess Diana- read The Housekeeper's Diary. Covering the 5 years leading up to the separation in 1992, it's written by the Highgrove housekeeper - Mary Berry. She tries hard to be fair to both Charles and Diana as she recounts the unraveling of the royal marriage. Banned in Britain, it's a great insider story of the Wales' marriage - from a member of staff. I highly recommend it!
September 1, 2021
A good insight into royal life, well told. Not gossipy or malicious.
February 12, 2012
This book came across less like a diary than as backstairs gossip by an employee who was sacked. Clearly a monarchist, the bias toward Charles is obvious with absolutely no mention of Camilla's constant presence (as proved time and again in other publications). That said, to have worked for this family as long as she did is amazing. What a horrible group of people!
August 21, 2013
This book was a big disappointment....so mean-spirited. I guess there's quite an up side to not be wealthy, not having servants, and not being subject to this sort of tell-all book. I would feel so betrayed!
May 19, 2020
I loved this book, I love reading anything about the RF, and when I saw "banned in Britain" on the cover, well, that sealed the deal for me! I found a copy in a thrift store & was surprised that I hadn't heard of the book or author before. What a juicy read! The Windsors were pretty good at keeping up appearances; the rest of the world had no idea what was going on behind closed doors. I found it hard to believe that Diana--so gorgeous, kind, considerate, people-oriented in the public eye--would be so rude to her staff, shouting & cursing at them. Not the image everyone had. I mean, nobody's perfect, but I can't imagine treating anyone I worked with/for so terribly. At least Charles--who did throw occasional tantrums--would never be rude to his staff. By the time Wendy was hired, it was obvious to her that the marriage was in trouble & she watched it go downhill, must have been hard on everyone who worked for the Prince & Princess, and those poor boys were caught in the middle, as all children are when their parents are at wit's end w/each other. It was nice to know that Charles was as good a parent as Diana, they both adored their sons, while the media painted him as an uncaring father, which wasn't true. He may not have been a great husband, but he was a good father. And all the freebies they'd receive, many of which would end up in the incinerator, such a waste! I'd be grateful for all the things that were given to me.
There's lots of inside info on everything that went on at Highgrove, the good, the bad, the ugly. It's all there. A highly recommended book.
There's lots of inside info on everything that went on at Highgrove, the good, the bad, the ugly. It's all there. A highly recommended book.
March 23, 2023
Well, yes, starting this book I knew it was going to be bad. But I didn't think it would be THIS bad. This book is contradictory, petty, and sensationalist and I call total B.S. on most of what the author supposedly overheard whilst working at Highgrove.
January 1, 2014
3.5 stars
This was the book that first opened my eyes about what Diana, Princess of Wales was really like.
This was the book that first opened my eyes about what Diana, Princess of Wales was really like.
April 19, 2014
The author does come off as mean spirited and that is why I only gave it three stars. She seemed very high and mighty given the fact she was only a housekeeper.
September 29, 2023
This is a shockingly intimate view of Charles and Diana's marriage, told by Wendy Berry, the housekeeper of their country residence. Berry comes across as intelligent and sensible, and her anecdotes ring true. The book was published in 1995, before Diana's death, and subsequent tell-alls have confirmed the impressions given here.
Berry observed Charles and Diana at home, during the decline of their marriage, which was relatively untroubled when she was hired. From the couple's separate sleeping arrangements to their different ways of dealing with servants, Berry doesn't slant her observations. She has a bit of servant snobbery, disdaining the Christmas ornaments at Highgrove as "naff and ordinary", and passing judgment on Sarah Ferguson's baggy cotton underwear and cheap luggage.
Berry offers interesting tidbits, such as Charles still sleeps with his childhood teddy bear on his bed. He was unconcerned when his new dog peed on his bed: as Berry went to change the bedding, Charles told her to leave it and just give it a wipe! And belying Diana's picture of him as a distant, uncaring father, Berry describes him as doting and close to his sons. One of the saddest parts was when Diana would keep the boys from their father, telling Charles the boys would be eating in bed with her, while watching TV. She did this even on William's last night at home before boarding school. In another incident she kept the children for dinner in bed, and the next morning she took them away for breakfast in her bed too. Charles was very upset at being shut out like this, and tried to talk to Diana about it but she wouldn't. It's terrible to realize how Diana was repeating her own upbringing, where she was kept from her mother by her father.
Berry described how the couple dealt with their staff: "The sweet, kind-hearted, compassionate Diana is just part of a much more complicated whole. The part the public do not see is sometimes far removed from the 'Princess Act' -- and none too pleasant. And because she was so riddled with insecurities and inadequacies it made her a very mercurial person to deal with. Quite frankly, one never really knew where one stood with her, or how she was going to react -- unlike Charles, who, though extremely up and down in terms of temper tantrums, was generally straight and fair with his employees. However, when he did want changes nothing could dissuade him, and he could be intransigent and ruthless. As long as he got his own way everything ran smoothly, but nobody could honestly say that he is an easy man to live with."
Charles was more formal, though friendly. He was also more even keel (though who isn't, after all the stories we've heard about Diana.) If Charles had a childish tantrum when something didn't go as planned, he would later be embarrassed and apologize. Diana ran the gamut, from "sweet and caring" to "sarcastic and spiteful". She would treat her closest servants terribly, refusing to speak to them, or screaming at them and calling them names. One February a servant said Diana hadn't spoken to her since Christmas and she didn't know why. "Who does, half the time?" said Paul Burrell, Diana's butler and confidante.
Unlike Charles, Diana ran through servants, as no one could take the abuse for long. The children's nannies were a problem for Diana, as she needed them, yet resented their closeness to her children. One nanny was so regimented that she didn't like Diana appearing without warning, so of course she was given the sack. But later nannies who were more fun-loving were also a threat to Diana, and were let go, despite the children's attachment.
I expected Camilla to be a presence in this book, but she barely appears. Aside from a couple of lunch parties, and afternoon visits to Charles when he badly broke his arm, she wasn't at Highgrove at this time. Berry notes the evenings when Charles seems to be slipping away to see her, but there weren't as many of those as expected. Diana's affair with James Hewitt took place at Highgrove, but he was in the military so was often away. Diana's concern for him and his safety was clear to the staff.
Berry described Diana as fascinated with her own publicity. There is a terrible sense of foreboding when she describes how Diana encouraged the press to be obsessed with her. She would covertly alert the media to where she would be, then publicly claim to be "upset" about the photos. She looked through the newspapers with the servants, preening with pleasure at the flattering shots of herself and screaming with horror at the unflattering ones. She taunted Charles about how the public really preferred to see her, and she was correct. Her teasing game with the media worked to her advantage and garnered her attention and admiration, but look where it led. Remember, the book was published prior to Diana's death.
Obviously Ms. Berry took copious and detailed notes during her years working for the Wales's. More detailed about Charles and Diana than one would expect an average housekeeper to write down about her rich employers. It seems like Berry always intended to write this book. Berry graduated at a high level, and had been an English teacher, making me suspicious of her intent in taking a low paying housekeeping job. At one point Charles learns of her education level and expresses surprise that she would want the housekeeping job. He should have been more skeptical! (I'll bet he is now.) Berry claims she only decided to publish her detailed diary after seeing Princess Diana's slanted version of the story, via Andrew Morton's book. (When Berry published, the general belief was still that Diana's friends had given Morton the lowdown. It wasn't yet acknowledged the Diana herself was the source of Morton's book.) Diana's Andrew Morton revelations were really press releases, positioned and cleverly timed to move public opinion in her direction before the couple's separation. At least this author has no axe to grind, and though she betrayed the Wales's trust in publishing, she seems to have told the truth as she observed it.
Berry observed Charles and Diana at home, during the decline of their marriage, which was relatively untroubled when she was hired. From the couple's separate sleeping arrangements to their different ways of dealing with servants, Berry doesn't slant her observations. She has a bit of servant snobbery, disdaining the Christmas ornaments at Highgrove as "naff and ordinary", and passing judgment on Sarah Ferguson's baggy cotton underwear and cheap luggage.
Berry offers interesting tidbits, such as Charles still sleeps with his childhood teddy bear on his bed. He was unconcerned when his new dog peed on his bed: as Berry went to change the bedding, Charles told her to leave it and just give it a wipe! And belying Diana's picture of him as a distant, uncaring father, Berry describes him as doting and close to his sons. One of the saddest parts was when Diana would keep the boys from their father, telling Charles the boys would be eating in bed with her, while watching TV. She did this even on William's last night at home before boarding school. In another incident she kept the children for dinner in bed, and the next morning she took them away for breakfast in her bed too. Charles was very upset at being shut out like this, and tried to talk to Diana about it but she wouldn't. It's terrible to realize how Diana was repeating her own upbringing, where she was kept from her mother by her father.
Berry described how the couple dealt with their staff: "The sweet, kind-hearted, compassionate Diana is just part of a much more complicated whole. The part the public do not see is sometimes far removed from the 'Princess Act' -- and none too pleasant. And because she was so riddled with insecurities and inadequacies it made her a very mercurial person to deal with. Quite frankly, one never really knew where one stood with her, or how she was going to react -- unlike Charles, who, though extremely up and down in terms of temper tantrums, was generally straight and fair with his employees. However, when he did want changes nothing could dissuade him, and he could be intransigent and ruthless. As long as he got his own way everything ran smoothly, but nobody could honestly say that he is an easy man to live with."
Charles was more formal, though friendly. He was also more even keel (though who isn't, after all the stories we've heard about Diana.) If Charles had a childish tantrum when something didn't go as planned, he would later be embarrassed and apologize. Diana ran the gamut, from "sweet and caring" to "sarcastic and spiteful". She would treat her closest servants terribly, refusing to speak to them, or screaming at them and calling them names. One February a servant said Diana hadn't spoken to her since Christmas and she didn't know why. "Who does, half the time?" said Paul Burrell, Diana's butler and confidante.
Unlike Charles, Diana ran through servants, as no one could take the abuse for long. The children's nannies were a problem for Diana, as she needed them, yet resented their closeness to her children. One nanny was so regimented that she didn't like Diana appearing without warning, so of course she was given the sack. But later nannies who were more fun-loving were also a threat to Diana, and were let go, despite the children's attachment.
I expected Camilla to be a presence in this book, but she barely appears. Aside from a couple of lunch parties, and afternoon visits to Charles when he badly broke his arm, she wasn't at Highgrove at this time. Berry notes the evenings when Charles seems to be slipping away to see her, but there weren't as many of those as expected. Diana's affair with James Hewitt took place at Highgrove, but he was in the military so was often away. Diana's concern for him and his safety was clear to the staff.
Berry described Diana as fascinated with her own publicity. There is a terrible sense of foreboding when she describes how Diana encouraged the press to be obsessed with her. She would covertly alert the media to where she would be, then publicly claim to be "upset" about the photos. She looked through the newspapers with the servants, preening with pleasure at the flattering shots of herself and screaming with horror at the unflattering ones. She taunted Charles about how the public really preferred to see her, and she was correct. Her teasing game with the media worked to her advantage and garnered her attention and admiration, but look where it led. Remember, the book was published prior to Diana's death.
Obviously Ms. Berry took copious and detailed notes during her years working for the Wales's. More detailed about Charles and Diana than one would expect an average housekeeper to write down about her rich employers. It seems like Berry always intended to write this book. Berry graduated at a high level, and had been an English teacher, making me suspicious of her intent in taking a low paying housekeeping job. At one point Charles learns of her education level and expresses surprise that she would want the housekeeping job. He should have been more skeptical! (I'll bet he is now.) Berry claims she only decided to publish her detailed diary after seeing Princess Diana's slanted version of the story, via Andrew Morton's book. (When Berry published, the general belief was still that Diana's friends had given Morton the lowdown. It wasn't yet acknowledged the Diana herself was the source of Morton's book.) Diana's Andrew Morton revelations were really press releases, positioned and cleverly timed to move public opinion in her direction before the couple's separation. At least this author has no axe to grind, and though she betrayed the Wales's trust in publishing, she seems to have told the truth as she observed it.
September 4, 2021
This was an interesting book about the marriage of Prince Charles and Princess Diana and time spent at their Highgrove mansion.
I was and am amazed at some of the claims in this book. Wendy Berry shows Diana to be a bully and also a victim of her own emotions.
Poor William and Harry were dragged right into the middle of the mess and Diana used them as pawns against their father.
I was and am amazed at some of the claims in this book. Wendy Berry shows Diana to be a bully and also a victim of her own emotions.
Poor William and Harry were dragged right into the middle of the mess and Diana used them as pawns against their father.
February 13, 2019
Not at all well written, but that hardly matters when you get to be a fly on the walls of the Windsors! A must read for those obsessed with the British Royal family.
September 21, 2024
#9 of 120 books pledged to read during 2023
June 26, 2019
A very interesting and detailed Diary by Wendy Berry, I'm quite shocked at how spiteful and vicious Diana could be, not to mention quite rude to her staff.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 1, 2023
Wendy is a biased royalist.
January 3, 2024
Laughably bad, I wish I could give it ZERO stars
February 26, 2024
Shout out to the Vintage Reads YouTube channel whose weekly recaps intrigued me so much I had to get this book myself no easy feat considering its long out of print. This book definitely shatters the Saint Diana image we've been fed since her tragic death in 1997. Honestly neither Charles nor Diana comes out of this looking great. The way Diana treated her staff made me realize Harry was right. His wife is like his mother just not in the way he thinks. Charles comes off sort of better in that he would apologize for his appalling behaviour to his staff immediately unlike Diana who could hold a grudge better than Germany did over losing WWI. But Charles did sink in my estimation in the last chapter by his treatment of Highgrove staff following the separation. Overall I felt bad for both boys being stuck in the middle of their parents battles. Diana truly emotionally abused those boys and we're sadly seeing the results of that in her younger son and his antics. While most are quick to blame his wife I think Harry always had a jealous vindictive streak in him that she simply fed into it. It must be devastating for the current king who was so close to his younger son to have him throw insult after insult at him. Much like reliving his disastrous marriage. I truly think the only thing that saved William from a similar fate was his close relationship with the queen and having the stability of Catherine and the Middleton family to keep him grounded. The nanny Jessie was right when she said they'd need help not to end up as barking as their parents. Overall this was a fascinating insider look at royal life that only a servant can give. It reminded me a bit of The Little Princesses a scandalous book at the time but pretty tame by today's standards. As it was a memoir it was probably exaggerated or written more with hindsight than how she was actually feeling in the moment but that's to be expected. It was still extremely entertaining and I quite enjoyed reading it.
August 22, 2025
I'm lucky to work with several people who are voracious readers and we're always giving each other a heads up about books we either liked or didn't care for. Jen and I both like books which spill the tea about famous people and when she told me this one was banned in Britain because of the disclosures that was all I needed to hear.
I've always felt sad about the way Princess Diana's life turned out because we are almost
exactly the same age.She was born July 1 of 1961 and I September 5, 1961, although on different continents and into very different circumstances. She was shy, British, moneyed, aristocratic, tall and leggy and struggled in school. I'm an extrovert, American, short and solid, born into a family of average means, and always found academics to come quite easily. She was a child of divorce, her mother running off with another man. My parents were devoted to each other their whole lives. And due to her marriage into a royal family, to their Crown Prince, she was forced into the spotlight, whereas I was free to find and marry the man I loved on my own. I was still a college kid living with my parents wren she married her much older Prince Charles and we all watched on television. I couldn't imagine being ready to marry ANYONE at our age much less someone as different from me as Charles seemed from her. I eventually found my own prince too but not until I was in law school with him. We each went on to have children, her two boys, me eventually three girls, and for me life went on while hers fell apart very publicly. And then she divorced and just when it seemed she might find happiness tragedy struck. We were 36 years old. I got to become 37 and she did not. So I looked forward to reading this book to seewhere it all went wrong. Wendy Berry was the housekeeper at the country house, Highgrove, where Charles and Diana spent weekends. Wendy's son James already worked there. What I didn't know until I read this book was that Highgrove was geographically extremely convenient to Camilla Parker Bowles own country home. So Wendy had a front row seat to it all. The book is a real window into what it was like to live and work at Highgrove, the awkwardness of the class separation between the royals and their staff, and the frustrations yet empathy the staff felt for their employers. It's like a duality of man thing, feeling like Diana was spoiled and Charles was arrogant, yet still being fiercely loyal to them. Watching Fergie ( who was dating Andrew) arrive with tattered cases and " grubby" grey underwear and then seeing her suddenly transform into a spoiled royal herself who without a second thought would ask a maid to give the contents of her luggage " a good going over" and clean and press all of it. Wendy writes of the irony of the Prince driving a fancy gas guzzler Aston Martin while preaching about the environment, and the appalling waste of the royals frequently receiving gifts from merchants and burning the things they did not want, ostensibly to prevent them from being sold as things in some way acquainted with the royal household. I mean, cases of brand new apparel from designers and other things which could easily have been given to the poor. The food waste alone was horrific, as chefs had to always have enough first quality ingredients on hand to create a spur of the moment dinner for guests should the Prince and Princess decide on a whim to invite thirty people for dinner or a weekend. The property had a regular " moth man" who would inform the staff that they would always have a problem with weevils and mealworms in the grain stores each spring unless they stopped buying in such excess and storing it all for months on end. But it's the behind the scenes tea where Berry excels, like how Diana did not always agree with her young children's nanny on how they should be brought up ( Diana wanted to be more hands on- whereas the nanny and Charles each felt that the boys must be " reared as princes" by the staff without much parental influence. There are great stories about the lengths to which Charles and Diana went to avoid each other, often using the children as pawns in their game. When Charles would invite friends for drinks, Diana would just disappear, leaving Charles in the lurch to make excuses for her that she had a headache and had gone to bed early. There are things I never knew about Diana which now jar me, like her not liking dogs as much as Charles. There are things about that which jar me about Charles too, such as his beloved dog urinating in his bed and him refusing to allow Wendy to change the peed upon coverlet, insisting that she just blot it and leave it as it was. He had no problem sleeping with a blanket soaked in dog pee. Weirdly disturbing stuff like that. Clearly he was kinder to the dogs than to his wife, although they both loved their children. Turns out the staff thought he adored his boys and that the press unfairly portrayed Diana as the only affectionate parent. The saddest part is how from time to time they appeared to get on better and people on the staff would hope for the best, only to watch Charles slink off to Camilla's at night again while Diana wept upstairs alone and took her emotions out by cruelly berating the staff. It's clear she was an absolutely lovely person but also an emotional one who couldn't always keep the famous British stiff upper lip and truly suffered. She should have known what she was marrying into given her status in society but she clearly did not, and her expectations that she could do things like have a devoted husband and raise her children in her own way were clearly not met and this caused her much unhappiness . She didn't completely understand Charles, and there was a scene described in the book where she called him selfish and heartless for returning to the scene of the avalanche which had endangered him and killed his friend a year earlier, whereas he felt that not returning to the scene on the anniversary of the tragedy in his friend's memory would make him look weak. Diana by contrast thought it was cruel to the widow to create the anniversary photo op. Desperate to feel the love of someone who really cared, she became unfaithful to Charles. A sad, sad book, but a truly fascinating one nonetheless. it feels like the staff was forced to stand by and watch it all unravel. I can see why the book is banned in England because it airs all the dirty laundry of the royal family. But it's just all so sad. May Princess Diana rest in peace. An unexpected takeaway from the book was complimentary to Princess Anne, who never ever lost her composure and kept an emotional even keel at all times no matter how her day had gone.
I've always felt sad about the way Princess Diana's life turned out because we are almost
exactly the same age.She was born July 1 of 1961 and I September 5, 1961, although on different continents and into very different circumstances. She was shy, British, moneyed, aristocratic, tall and leggy and struggled in school. I'm an extrovert, American, short and solid, born into a family of average means, and always found academics to come quite easily. She was a child of divorce, her mother running off with another man. My parents were devoted to each other their whole lives. And due to her marriage into a royal family, to their Crown Prince, she was forced into the spotlight, whereas I was free to find and marry the man I loved on my own. I was still a college kid living with my parents wren she married her much older Prince Charles and we all watched on television. I couldn't imagine being ready to marry ANYONE at our age much less someone as different from me as Charles seemed from her. I eventually found my own prince too but not until I was in law school with him. We each went on to have children, her two boys, me eventually three girls, and for me life went on while hers fell apart very publicly. And then she divorced and just when it seemed she might find happiness tragedy struck. We were 36 years old. I got to become 37 and she did not. So I looked forward to reading this book to seewhere it all went wrong. Wendy Berry was the housekeeper at the country house, Highgrove, where Charles and Diana spent weekends. Wendy's son James already worked there. What I didn't know until I read this book was that Highgrove was geographically extremely convenient to Camilla Parker Bowles own country home. So Wendy had a front row seat to it all. The book is a real window into what it was like to live and work at Highgrove, the awkwardness of the class separation between the royals and their staff, and the frustrations yet empathy the staff felt for their employers. It's like a duality of man thing, feeling like Diana was spoiled and Charles was arrogant, yet still being fiercely loyal to them. Watching Fergie ( who was dating Andrew) arrive with tattered cases and " grubby" grey underwear and then seeing her suddenly transform into a spoiled royal herself who without a second thought would ask a maid to give the contents of her luggage " a good going over" and clean and press all of it. Wendy writes of the irony of the Prince driving a fancy gas guzzler Aston Martin while preaching about the environment, and the appalling waste of the royals frequently receiving gifts from merchants and burning the things they did not want, ostensibly to prevent them from being sold as things in some way acquainted with the royal household. I mean, cases of brand new apparel from designers and other things which could easily have been given to the poor. The food waste alone was horrific, as chefs had to always have enough first quality ingredients on hand to create a spur of the moment dinner for guests should the Prince and Princess decide on a whim to invite thirty people for dinner or a weekend. The property had a regular " moth man" who would inform the staff that they would always have a problem with weevils and mealworms in the grain stores each spring unless they stopped buying in such excess and storing it all for months on end. But it's the behind the scenes tea where Berry excels, like how Diana did not always agree with her young children's nanny on how they should be brought up ( Diana wanted to be more hands on- whereas the nanny and Charles each felt that the boys must be " reared as princes" by the staff without much parental influence. There are great stories about the lengths to which Charles and Diana went to avoid each other, often using the children as pawns in their game. When Charles would invite friends for drinks, Diana would just disappear, leaving Charles in the lurch to make excuses for her that she had a headache and had gone to bed early. There are things I never knew about Diana which now jar me, like her not liking dogs as much as Charles. There are things about that which jar me about Charles too, such as his beloved dog urinating in his bed and him refusing to allow Wendy to change the peed upon coverlet, insisting that she just blot it and leave it as it was. He had no problem sleeping with a blanket soaked in dog pee. Weirdly disturbing stuff like that. Clearly he was kinder to the dogs than to his wife, although they both loved their children. Turns out the staff thought he adored his boys and that the press unfairly portrayed Diana as the only affectionate parent. The saddest part is how from time to time they appeared to get on better and people on the staff would hope for the best, only to watch Charles slink off to Camilla's at night again while Diana wept upstairs alone and took her emotions out by cruelly berating the staff. It's clear she was an absolutely lovely person but also an emotional one who couldn't always keep the famous British stiff upper lip and truly suffered. She should have known what she was marrying into given her status in society but she clearly did not, and her expectations that she could do things like have a devoted husband and raise her children in her own way were clearly not met and this caused her much unhappiness . She didn't completely understand Charles, and there was a scene described in the book where she called him selfish and heartless for returning to the scene of the avalanche which had endangered him and killed his friend a year earlier, whereas he felt that not returning to the scene on the anniversary of the tragedy in his friend's memory would make him look weak. Diana by contrast thought it was cruel to the widow to create the anniversary photo op. Desperate to feel the love of someone who really cared, she became unfaithful to Charles. A sad, sad book, but a truly fascinating one nonetheless. it feels like the staff was forced to stand by and watch it all unravel. I can see why the book is banned in England because it airs all the dirty laundry of the royal family. But it's just all so sad. May Princess Diana rest in peace. An unexpected takeaway from the book was complimentary to Princess Anne, who never ever lost her composure and kept an emotional even keel at all times no matter how her day had gone.
May 12, 2025
This is no great work of literary merit but hugely enjoyable for those of us who like Royal gossip (and recent history). Dramatically labelled as 'banned in Britain' on the cover, the front piece explanation is somewhat misleading in suggesting that UK law prohibits any publications by former royal employees whereas the good ol' USA has freedom of speech. In reality, royal household employees (and many other employees) sign NDA's both here and in the USA. The UK courts enforce them. A digression - but explains why the housekeeper's tales got no traction over here. Wendy Berry worked at Highgrove for the Prince and Princess of Wales (Charles and Diana) between 1985 - 1992. On her account, she was peremptorily dismissed (with 6 months pay) when the decision to separate was made, Charles wanting to have a fresh staff and Diana taking Paul Burrell and not Wendy with her to Kensington Palace. As such she has some motive for a grudge but most of her narrative, which is critical of both principals, sounds pretty believable. It is refreshing to be given a side of Diana which many of us suspected but was never given oxygen in the UK media who she assiduously cultivated in life and has proved durable in death. She is both charming, selfish, neurotic and manipulative. In particular, she treats staff abominably and worked ceaselessly to try and turn the boys against their father. Charles too is selfish and spoilt, with a quick temper but is also seen as trying to mitigate the effects of the disastrous marriage on William and Harry [Camilla is kept away from Highgate, not so Diana's boyfriends, particularly James Hewit). Diana is also seen as wholly superficial - always about shopping, reading her press coverage and watching tv rather than encouraging any sort of cultural or outdoor pastime for her children. It's an eye-widening read.
July 25, 2022
I’m conflicted about this book. Interesting to get an inside look- and yet- it is bothersome that presumably every staff member in a royal household is likely to have committed to not doing exactly what Wendy Berry did in writing this book. It does feel to me like there’s a mark on her character. At the same time, I paid money and read the book- so what does that say about me?
I also questioned how insightful her perspectives and interpretations of Diana and Charles’ behavior actually is. When we, any of us, start judging another’s motives that we cannot possibly know, it left me taking a lot of her opinions with a grain of salt. I felt she harshly judged Diana- who was really so very young and in a pretty impossible marriage, not to mention the pressures I could not begin to comprehend of walking into that particular family- all of which Wendy Berry would have been aware of. I’m guessing some resentment at being fired got the best of her.
A pretty sad story, really.
I also questioned how insightful her perspectives and interpretations of Diana and Charles’ behavior actually is. When we, any of us, start judging another’s motives that we cannot possibly know, it left me taking a lot of her opinions with a grain of salt. I felt she harshly judged Diana- who was really so very young and in a pretty impossible marriage, not to mention the pressures I could not begin to comprehend of walking into that particular family- all of which Wendy Berry would have been aware of. I’m guessing some resentment at being fired got the best of her.
A pretty sad story, really.
October 4, 2024
So I personally didn’t find it overly bitter. She called her bitter moments out. What I do think is people are overly sensitive over Diana and meanwhile she was very much a complicated human being the two Diana’s are absolutely two halves of a whole and you have a better understanding of how badly Harry has it emotionally when you reexamine his relationship with Meghan after reading it. I feel for him because he did find a woman just like his mother but in a manner of which she didn’t become beloved she wasn’t ever going to be a princess of whales nor the queen of people’s hearts.
The Diana in front of the camera is very easy to see in this book of what to expect of the Diana off the camera.
To address things that may have happened when she wasn’t there. As addressed in book gossip runs wild and it is easy for people to rehash things. Do I take this book as gospel? No, but do I think it paints a very accurate picture of who they were as people? Yes, absolutely.
The Diana in front of the camera is very easy to see in this book of what to expect of the Diana off the camera.
To address things that may have happened when she wasn’t there. As addressed in book gossip runs wild and it is easy for people to rehash things. Do I take this book as gospel? No, but do I think it paints a very accurate picture of who they were as people? Yes, absolutely.
August 29, 2021
I love everything ‘Princess Diana’ and was very intrigued to read this book from the very first glance. After diving in, it was clear that Wendy had a very biased opinion on both the prince and (mostly) the princess, exposing irrelevant details of their daily married life with the casualties that come with it. She also goes out of her way to mention how cruel, rude, and inconsiderate the princess was. Wendy was clearly unhappy with her job. Knowing that she had signed a confidentiality agreement during her time there, I personally thought that she decided to publish this book (out of spite) in order to get some money out of her time there (given that she repeatedly mentioned how the staff wasn’t paid enough throughout the book). After finding out that she earned around $300,000 from the book, I figured I was right. Interesting facts mentioned about the prince and princess, not sure I believe them though. It was a nice read if you make yourself believe that this is a fiction book.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 3, 2022
Loved all the day to day details of how Princess Diana and prince Charles lived. Second favourite book about them after Paul Burrells A Royal Duty.
You have to admire how strong the princess was to present such a smiling facade to the public when her private life was disintegrating.
But I've read almost nine books about these two royals and all of them seem to suggest Charles was spoilt and unfeeling and Princess Diana could be very vindictive and spiteful and unstable in private.
They all acknowledge her uniqueness and hypnotic quality too.
You have to admire how strong the princess was to present such a smiling facade to the public when her private life was disintegrating.
But I've read almost nine books about these two royals and all of them seem to suggest Charles was spoilt and unfeeling and Princess Diana could be very vindictive and spiteful and unstable in private.
They all acknowledge her uniqueness and hypnotic quality too.
December 9, 2023
Super interesting book about what life was really like behind the closed doors of Highgrove. The book did a great job of fleshing out the complexities of Charles & Diana’s individual personalities. The book also gave me deeper insight in to what these years must have been like for William and Harry, with William’s reactions discussed a bit more. I also was unaware of the completely volatile (and poorly compensated) position of working for the royals. It’s as if your job security was solely based on a royal’s mood of the day. A must-read for any British royal family lover!
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