It's OK If You Don't Love Me

by Norma Klein

New Yorker Jody has what she thinks is a very liberated view of sex, while Midwesterner Lyle still thinks love means having to say you're sorry. "The trauma and confusion of the sexual coming-of-age by a liberated woman is presented with skill and understanding." LIBRARY JOURNAL

Genres: Young Adult, Fiction, Romance, Coming Of Age, Banned Books, Classics, Childrens

256 pages, Mass Market Paperback

First published January 1, 1977

About the author

Norma Klein was born in New York City and graduated cum laude and was a member of Phi Beta Kappa from Barnard College with a degree in Russian. She later received her master's degree in Slavic languages from Columbia University.

Ms. Klein began publishing short stories while attending Barnard and since then she had written novels for readers of all ages. The author got her ideas from everyday life and advised would-be writers to do the same -- to write about their experiences or things they really care about.

Ms. Klein died in 1989.

Reviews

[Lo · Rating 5 out of 5]

Omg, if only life was a easy as a sheepskin coat and as carefree as a 18 year old behind swaggering in the air. Klein's protagonist Jody is probably the most amazing YA protag. She's cheeky, slutty, nerdy, bossy and despite being so beyond her years she is still so teendreamqueen. The book is supposedly a look at modern love (complete with bell bottoms and outdoor hippie concerts) between two very different teens. It changed my life. I wanted to find some 18 year old boy to corrupt (uh, when I was 18, duh!). There's sex, drugs and enough awkward conversations about abortion and blow jobs to do Judy Blume proud.

[Bren fall in love with the sea. · Rating 4 out of 5]

One of my favorite books from childhood. I happen to love the character of Jody and found the relationship between her and Lyle to be adorable.

There is quite a bit of sex in this book but not in a way that I found to be at all offensive. I read many of her books as a kid and this was my favorite, most likely because Jody and Lyle both are such warm and realistic characters.

This is one I would reread in a minute.

[Kasia · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a really sweet, complicated story about first love. Classic Norma Klein.

In retrospect, it's probably better that I did not read these Klein novels in my youth. I think I would have had boyfriend expectations that were all kinds of unrealistic for high school. Kind, sweet, feminist, attractive, supersmart boys who love you for your complex personality? Pretty sure we didn't have those where I grew up.

I hated that Jo cheated on Lyle, though. I didn't really get that.

[Clementine · Rating 3 out of 5]

Jody considers herself a native New Yorker and believes herself to be fairly liberated. When she meets Lyle, a corn-fed boy from the Midwest, she realizes that not everyone is as open-minded as she is. The two of them begin a tentative relationship, though, and find themselves falling in love for the first time.

Norma Klein’s quiet, exploratory novel about first love and coming of age in the 1970s is extremely subtle. It’s quiet and often understated, and while the story’s protagonist is a smart, powerful girl in her own right, she’s not overtly so, and this often means that the reader might not recognize that what’s happening on the page is really important stuff. Klein was an innovative and important YA novelist for her time, and her sex-positive messages still resonate decades later.

Klein’s characters are vibrant and eccentric without being over-the-top. Jody, Lyle, and Jody’s mother are the three that stand out the most. Jody’s shrewd observations about the people around her propel the story forward, and her jaded outlook on love is believable. There is a tenderness between Jody and Lyle, and while their chemistry never combusted off the page, they still manage to portray a realistic first-love relationship. The point of Klein’s novel is not to wow readers with a flashy romance or seduction but to portray a sexual relationship between two teenagers as realistically as possible. Klein does just that.

Fans who grew up reading Judy Blume will find a kindred spirit in Klein’s work. Although she has a cult following, even after all these years, Klein has never achieved the kind of notoriety that Blume has, which is a shame, because Klein’s books are very, very good.

Highly recommended.

It’s O.K. If You Don’t Love Me by Norma Klein: Fawcett/Dial: 1978 (originally published). Purchased copy.

[Carin · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was my absolute favorite Norma Klein book as a teenager, so I was nervous upon rereading. I think it's because I really identified with Jody. She's not one of those people who just goes around spouting off the first thing on her mind, but she's very truthful, even if the truth will hurt. Lyle is such a sweet, caring guy. At the time I first was reading this, I was really into tennis too, which features a lot in the book. None of these books are very dated though as Ms. Klein rarely mentions any music or anything else especially related to the times. Aside from the politics (not politicians or anything that specific per se, but talk about "liberation" and just the gernal attitudes towards sex and relationships.) This book was also nice as a non-New Yorker as Lyle was kind of like a tour-guide as he was new to the city himself. It was also nice as a smart kid from the South to be reading over and over again about kids applying to Harvard and Yale, and then some like Jody deciding they'd rather go to Swarthmore. Most everyone I knew, even the smart kids, were happy to go to the local state universities which are not good. I was considered a bit weird to be looking mostly at liberal arts colleges, and most of those far away. Her books were filled with good examples of healthy sexual relationships, smart kids doing well, and occasional warnings of potential potholes to avoid (like ex-boyfriends). This book was so beloved a page of it is being held in only with paperclips.

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'd never heard of Norma Klein before, but an article in BITCHfest: Ten Years of Cultural Criticism from the Pages of Bitch Magazine extolling her virtues convinced me to check her out.

There wasn't a huge amount of plot in this one, but the characters were interesting and real, and while it was obvious this book was written in the seventies, most of it is still widely applicable today.

And the virtues Bitch discussed were all there: the way female sexual desire is presented as normal and natural, the casual feminism of the main character, the fact that teen girls are allowed to have sex, enjoy it, and not suffer horrible consequences.

This wasn't an exceptional or amazing book, but it has a lot going for it, and I only wish more teen novels had these sorts of sentiments.

[della · Rating 5 out of 5]

My aunt bought me this book at the mall in Couer d'Alene, Idaho at a bookstore that no longer exists. She bought it because I was staying the weekend of my high school prom with her. My boyfriend and I had broken up right before the prom...after I had the dress, the shoes, etc. At least my cousin Bridget wore the dress (she was invited to the prom at the last minute!). I don't know if it was the circumstances, the story or what but I loved the book then and still do. I still have the original copy and read it every once in a while.

[Tracy Miller]

Can't rate this one. It is so of a particular time and place, it just doesn't even make sense. Oh books for teenaged girls of the 70s - you are so earnest.

[Kelly]

Jody is such a complex, complicated, even unlikable character. But the ways female desire are explored here are definitely noteworthy, if so much of what Jody thinks or does is frustrating.

[Joe · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've just re-read this book, which I've read maybe 3 times over the last 30 years. Each time, I've loved it. If you like character-driven fiction, this is as good as it gets. If you like Norma Klein, this is her best. Too bad that it's stuck in the YA ghetto. I'm now a 64-year-old guy, and I find it perfectly satisfying as an adult book about two teens, first love, a clash of cultures (middle class Ohio versus Jewish Manhattan) with a nice story arc with a touching ending. Judged as an adult title, the sex is very mild. The friendships and love and confusion are very real. The parents are believable and sympathetic even as they mess things up. Everybody is white and heterosexual, which is the only thing that makes the story seem a little bit dated.

Ten years from now (hoping I'm still around), I bet I read it again, and I bet I still love it.

One quibble: the Fawcett edition cover shows a clingy, blond girl with straight hair whereas the character Jody is upright, independent, with dark curly hair. The boy, Lyle, on the cover appears kind of snotty, which is the opposite of the Lyle depicted in the book, and he appears to be looking down Jody's blouse, which the Lyle in the story would never do. I'm just sayin'...

[Sasquatch · Rating 3 out of 5]

Though this book was published in the 70s, I found a lot of the topics were still relevant today, such as the stigma around women having sex, healthy relationships and parent-child relationships.
The discussions about sex among her and her classmates seemed very accurate and realistic. A variety of attitudes were presented from different characters.
The characters all seemed very detailed and well thought out. I loved the emphasis on parent-child relationships. As a teenager, the way Jody related with her mother, father and stepfathers seemed quite realistic and revealed many truths.

My only criticism would be that some parts of it seemed a bit pushed to move the plot along such as the break up between her mother and her stepfather. The novel was not very plot-driven though so I'll let it slide.

All in all though, this book is one of the most honest and accurate descriptions of romantic relationships and parent-child relationships in YA with some great sex-positive, empowering messages thrown in there.

[Radhika Breaden · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this book instrumental as I was growing up and I appreciate it each time I re-read it. Essentially, Jodi, as sophisticated as she is by her life in New York, still has to establish her independence and grow up through her own experiences with respect to her ideas on gender relations and the role of women (especially as her absent father has affected her) as well as her evolving sexual relationship with Lyle. I find it refreshing to see a teen female character who loves science and wants a career in medicine, and yet it is not held up as some "role model" or unusual desire, but just as a natural part of who she is. One of my favorites in Norma Klein's teen works.

[Danielle The Book Huntress · Rating 3 out of 5]

I remember being pretty surprised that this YA book had sex in it. I believe this is the one where they have sex on the bathroom floor. I think it was too mature for me. Not a favorite from my reading as a kid.

[Kyla · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this as a teen and really liked it , this time around I didn't like it so much , the main character was so self absorbed and not very likeable it made it hard to enjoy the book, I had nothing in common with her at all

[Reba · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really liked this! I mean yes, I know it's somewhat dated, but the characters are still relatable and the content is surprisingly relevant. I loved how realistic it was, and even when there was drama, it wasn't overblown or senseless.

[Corinne · Rating 4 out of 5]

I learned about sex from these books. I loved them in middle school.

[Debby · Rating 1 out of 5]

Jodi is a 17-year-old girl from New York. Lyle is also 17, and newly moved to NY from Ohio, where he lived until his parents were killed in a car accident. They meet at the place where they both work for the summer and begin playing tennis together. Jodi lives with her mom and brother. Her mom has been divorced twice and is currently living with someone else. Jodi has also lost her virginity. As Lyle and she continue their relationship, making love becomes a regular part of their routine.

The book deals with a lot of current issues - divorce, religion (Jewish vs. Catholic), premarital sex, school (getting into college), etc., but there has to be a better way to do it. Normal Klein describes everything in rather gross and vulgar terms. By the end of the book I was totally disgusted. If definitely would not want my children reading it - it's altogether too explicit and suggestive with no socially redeeming value. I want my children to have some morals!

[Ooma Indigo N · Rating 4 out of 5]

Did not realise I started this book on my 60th birthday!! Wow!! I loved Normal Klein as a child and teen. This is one of her books I never got to. Everything about this book took me back to the 70’s. I loved being a free range kid. It feels how teens were more independent back in the Day.

Now for the story…😎

Lyle is from Ohio and is a little idealistic as well as naive. Jody is from New York and experienced. Jody has been intimate and she had stated to Lyle how it was OK if he did not love her. Lyle had held back on intimacy with telling Jody how he was not sure if he did love her. He also was not keen on her response.

⏩ Fast Forward…the two teens do date and are intimate. It is a sweet story of first love and sexual coming of age. All goes well until something happens which I will leave her due to spoiler issues.

I am reading a lot of the YA books I read as a girl in the 70’s. Book kept me engaged. 4 star ⭐️ rating due to it being a little slow at times.

[Agnes · Rating 3 out of 5]

I, like some others, read this due to an essay from the Bitchfest anthology.
I remember all the Norma Klein books at the library when I was a kid, but I was never interested. I wish I had checked them out.

It was not at all what I imagined. She was more experienced than her boyfriend and wanted to have sex! It was sex positive with a strong female protagonist, but sex was not her greatest struggle. I liked her relationship with her mom's ex husband in particular.
Others were bothered by her "mistake", but I was glad she messed up, it added needed drama and was realistic.
I think some of the messages are still relevant. I thought it held up well from 1977, but it might just be nostalgia!

[Rachel · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved Norma Klein books growing up...I had no idea they were written a little before my time and that while I was just discovering her books was after she'd died. I was heartbroken because I knew that meant no more books; so I read every one of her books that I could get my hands on. I loved every one of her books! I'm sad that they are no longer in print!! I'd reread them. I've read the two books I still have of hers over several times as an adult and still enjoy them!

[Cassie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I grew up reading all the teen books of the 200os and 2010s so it's fascinating to read this teen book published in the 1970s that was much more truthful about sex, relationships, and family than any book I read while I was a teen. It's very sad that there was such a cultural backlash to these sorts of stories, modern popular media suffers from sterile and polished relationships.

Another book to add to my Where oh where did all the bohemians go list.

[JH · Rating 5 out of 5]

I only recently discovered Norma Klein and I'm devouring everything I can by her. This book is great- I love the Manhattan setting, the teenagers in the age before cell phones and internet, the progressive plotlines with regards to sex and religion. Klein reminds me of Judy Blume, only with some New york City grit thrown in.

[Kim VanDrunen-Fletcher · Rating 4 out of 5]

would have given this 5 stars in the early ‘80s, if i could have got my hands on it, that is. there’s no way this book would have been allowed in my school or town. i imagine myself reading it in 1982 and being so jealous of jody’s life....

fuck Reagan and his moral majority

[colette ⋆˙⟡ · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 // randomly picked this up at one of those free little libraries and surprisingly had quite the hoot! did not expect this to be a cheeky feminist 80s romp that would also strike as somewhat relatable wowza

[Emilia Modrzewska · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love how tender this story is. How it doesn't judge the characters for their mistakes or praises their virtues. It allows the reader to make up their own mind. It's honest about the messiness of coming of age and accepts it for what it is.The title is one of the best I've ever seen.

[Val · Rating 4 out of 5]

es muy buen libro, solo necesito mas tiempo oara entender mejor el final

[Julio The Fox · Rating 3 out of 5]

Norma Klein helped me get through my teenage years with this novel, a sort of flip side to Judy Blume's FOREVER. The girl, Jo, is sexually experienced. The boy-goy, Lyle, is a hayseed who needs a sex-ed lesson. Both these novels were banned from our public library in Southern California when Reagan reached the White House. Nuff said.

[Gray Fulton · Rating 2 out of 5]

I’m sad to say I couldn’t finish this book. At first reading it I really liked it; it was sweet and easy to read. Then it just got to be so boring, the same thing page after page. It was very real in a way, very accurate to how my brain works I feel like. Maybe that’s why I liked it but couldn’t finish it, that’s how my brain works anyway.

I read the last couple of pages and it had a sweet ending.

[Annabelle · Rating 3 out of 5]

Norma Klein's books always bring me back to the summer I was fifteen, in the States. Beloit, Wisconsin, to be precise, where the days felt longer than at the west coast (SFO). Her young characters, just slightly order than me, struck me as very cosmopolitan, mature, confident, and so jaded--compared to any teenager I've ever met. And among all her books, New Yorker Jody is Klein's most self-assured character yet. This is a coming-of-age story that appealed to me for its window into another culture, where teenagers were treated as adults, and allowed to make adult decisions, and given the shackles of my own culture and upbringing, may as well have been a window into a different world.

Decades later, I would find similarities between Jody and Francoise Sagan's world-weary young protagonist, Cecile (Bonjour Tristesse).

[elissa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very frank. Klein was my favorite author as a young teen.