Learning to Breathe: My Yearlong Quest to Bring Calm to My Life

by Priscilla Warner

Priscilla Warner has had a great a supportive husband, a flourishing marriage, two loving sons, and a bestselling book, The Faith Club. Despite all her good fortune and success, she suffers from anxiety and panic attacks so debilitating that they leave her unable to breathe. She’s tried self-medicating—in high school, with a hidden flask of vodka—and later, with prescription medications—daily doses of Klonopin with a dark-chocolate chaser. After forty years of hyperventilating, and an overwhelming panic attack that’s the ultimate wake-up call, Warner’s mantra becomes “Neurotic, Heal Thyself.” A spirited New Yorker, she sets out to find her inner Tibetan monk by meditating every day, aiming to rewire her brain and her body and mend her frayed nerves. On this winding path from panic to peace, with its hairpin emotional curves and breathtaking drops, she also delves into a wide range of spiritual and alternative health practices, some serious and some . . . not so much.

Warner tries spiritual chanting, meditative painting, immersion in a Jewish ritual bath, and quasi-hallucinogenic Ayurvedic oil treatments. She encounters mystical rabbis who teach her Kabbalistic lessons, attends silent retreats with compassionate Buddhist mentors, and gains insights from the spiritual leaders, healers, and therapists she meets. Meditating in malls instead of monasteries, Warner becomes a monk in a minivan and calms down long enough to examine her colorful, sometimes frightening family history in a new light, ultimately making peace with her past. And she receives corroboration that she’s healing from a neuroscientist who scans her brain for signs of progress and change.

Written with lively wit and humor, Learning to Breathe is a serious attempt to heal from a painful condition. It’s also a life raft of compassion and hope for people similarly adrift or secretly fearful, as well as an entertaining and inspiring guidebook for anyone facing daily challenges large and small, anyone who is also longing for a sense of peace, self-acceptance, and understanding.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Self Help, Psychology, Spirituality, Inspirational, Buddhism

288 pages, Hardcover

First published September 20, 2011

Reviews

[Read It Forward · Rating 5 out of 5]

Imagine: The Glass Castle meets Eat, Pray, Love. Priscilla Warner writes about her journey in a way that's accessible to anyone who wants to find more peace in their lives.

Her story is heartbreaking in places, comical in others. She lived with panic attacks her entire life until one day (after a particularly bad, eye-opening episode) she decides she has to face her anxiety head-on. I love her curiosity - she's willing to try anything! Some of the techniques she tries I'm familiar with (meditation, yoga); others I learned about for the first time (Trager therapy, EMDR therapy).

The way she shares her experience is great - she's funny and self-deprecating. It's rare to find that combination in "self-help" memoirs - so many of them take themselves so seriously, or make you feel like you can never achieve what they have. Priscilla does neither. She keeps it all in perspective.

I visited her website and found her Breathtaking Moment videos - they're so relaxing. Just a minute or so each, a nice to way to bring quiet to my day.

[Barbara · Rating 5 out of 5]

My dear friend, Sanna, bought this book for me a few years ago. It sat on my night table underneath a photo of my son. I think it was the death of my mother that made me pick it up recently. It took my a couple of months to read it. I varied between following with my heart and mind on Priscilla's quest and being totally annoyed at her jumping all over picking at this practice and that. I think my annoyance was based on how similar that is to me in my spiritual practice. But in the end, it was a very valuable read for me. Not just the confirmation that my hopscotch type spirit had a path, but also as an amazing resource. The book is so heavily underlined and highlighted so I will remember the experience. And also, she talks of books, music, guided meditations etc that I have found so useful. I have fallen in love with Krishna Das' instrumental "Forgiveness" so appropriately named - it is amazing soothing to me. A few particular wisdoms (?) have become part of me: "Sometimes all we have to do is breathe. Every breathe is a gift, every breath a lesson. And her lovingkindness practice: May I be safe, May I be happy, May I be healthy, May I live with Ease.
I gave it five stars for what it has given to me.
Read it, take your time. Thank you Sanna.

[Em · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really wanted to love this based on reviews I'd read, but I didn't. What I liked most about it was exposure to some things I was unfamiliar with, such as some of the Jewish rituals the author details. What I disliked was the "poor me, I had a traumatic childhood and bad parents" attitude the author has.

I found the author to be honest but self indulgent. She doesn't realize what a fortunate life she's had and how her "traumatic childhood" is a joke in comparison to most people's childhoods. Honestly, I wondered why her husband put up with her all these years.

This is one of those books meant for upper middle income and higher income women who are dissatisfied with their lives and looking for meaning, even though they've never have to provide for themselves financially or take emotional control over their circumstances.

Although the book kept my interest, I had ambivalent feelings about the author. Yes, it's a memoir, but I found the author to be one of those women who's financially comfortable, happily married and fortunate enough to have good kids, yet she's still experiencing anxiety and panic attacks at nearly age 60? Really?

I've worked with and known too many women who haven't had to support themselves because they rely on others to pay their way, whether it's a husband or parents. They are always searching for something to give their lives meaning. If they had to work for a living and rely solely on themselves, they wouldn't have the money or time to wonder what's missing and they might find themselves more satisfied. However, this woman has panic and anxiety attacks and finally decides to do something as she approaches 60.

She states that she's had a successful career and worked, but I kept wondering how she managed to keep full time jobs with all those panic attacks that she says she's had.

Yes, I'm envious that she has the time and financial resources to pursue all that she did. However, I often think that if these fortunate women ever had to support themselves, they would have realized that everyone has a tough life in one way or another and just accept what you had. Everyone had parents who made mistakes and did the best they could. (It will be interesting to see what future generations of snowflake kids with helicopter parents will say about their parents as they reach mid life.)

As she approaches 60, she's got the luxury of taking a year to explore different ways to deal with her anxiety and panic attacks, all of which cost money: travel, meditation retreats, spa treatments and more.

As I said, I found it interesting to read about the different treatments she explored. Most I was familiar with, but some were new to me.

However, I couldn't get past the "poor me" attitude that the author had, when it sounded like she'd had a really good life except that she didn't have perfect parents.

For all of her adult life, she seemed to focus on the negatives of her parents instead of the positives. I think most of us, as we grow older, realize that our parents did the best they could and accept the good and the bad.

Most people don't have perfect parents, yet she laid all the blame on her parents for her anxiety attacks. Apparently one incident where they left her in the hospital alone was the most traumatic. Perhaps in the 1950s, when she was hospitalized, parents weren't allowed to stay in the hospital with a child. (I think I have the era right.) She continues to seek out people who reinforce her belief that she's so lucky she survived her traumatic childhood.

I don't regret reading the book. I do like the resources listed at the back of the book. It's well written and interesting.

In short, it's like looking into the windows of someone else's house and watching how others lives, others with money and time that most of us don't have.

[Molly · Rating 5 out of 5]

I decided to read this after listening to an author interview with Womanspirit Reclamation. I loved it. The whole time I was reading I could hear other reviewers saying “privileged” and “must be nice to be able to go to all these retreats.” The thing I always remember is what Wayne Dyer used to say: “you can’t get sick enough to make anyone else well and you can get poor enough to make anyone else rich.” Should Priscilla have just stayed panic ridden and miserable just because her life isn’t as bad as some other people? Obviously not. Does she now have some things to teach us after making her own way out of panic and learning to breathe again? Yes. Is there an element of privilege to being able to dive deeply into your own life’s story and make it better? Obviously, yes. Does privilege mean you shouldn’t try and shouldn’t share what you learn from trying? Obviously, no. Priscilla could not get panicked enough to make anyone else un-panicked, but in learning to breathe again, she can possibly help other breathe easier too.

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thouroghly enjoyed this book. I am somewhat jealous of Priscilla's yearlong journey - I wish I had the time and means to meet all those amazing people myself :) Second best, though, is being able to read her book about it. Thankyou Priscilla, for writing it. I loved it and I took many tidbits away to carry with me. Now to find myself a guide on lovingkindness meditation. Suggestions appreciated!! :-)

9/23/11---Saw Priscilla on the Today show this morning, and was captivated by her idea for a book. I hope I can learn alot from it - since I can't go hang out with the monks myself right now :-)

9/24/11---
Priscilla writes the way my mind understands. I am LOVING this book and underlining half of it.

[Dana · Rating 5 out of 5]

Like Priscilla's first book, this book also made me think. I found the book to be well-written, interesting, funny in parts, sad in parts and open and real. Priscilla shares her story of her yearlong quest to find tranquility and a cure to the panic attacks that she has suffered from all of her life. She shares her experiences with meditation, yoga, different therapies, massage, Buddhist teachings,and getting to see the Dali Lama. I find it encouraging that she was able to use these various techniques to overcome her anxiety and become a calmer person. I think that other people may find it encouraging too. It sounds like her quest lead Priscilla to meet some fascinating people and to have some interesting and memorable experiences. I like the acronym for the word "sigh" meaning "Sitting in God's Hands" that her therapist shared with her. When I was in college, I took a philosophy class and I learned that Buddha's great enlightenment was that "all is suffering" and I just thought "duh - of course everything is suffering - but where does acknowledging that get us and how on earth does that help anything?" As I have grown older, I have realized even more that everyone and everything is suffering - even though we may not see their suffering. We all want to find calm and peace from our anxiety. Priscilla explored and shared many ways that she has found to find a sense of calm. It reminds me of some of my favorite Bible verses - "Philippians 4:6,7 In nothing be anxious, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses every man's understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus." I love those verses because it does not say to pray and God will give you stuff. It says to pray with thanksgiving, and that God will guard our hearts and our thoughts and will be our peace. We are all on a journey to find peace. I am glad that Priscilla shared hers.

[Rachel Kramer Bussel · Rating 5 out of 5]

I started reading this book because I've struggled with panic and wanted to learn more about Warner's quest. What I found was about so much more than panic attacks and meditation, though it certainly covered that as well. Warner is dealing with her mother's Alzheimer's, as well as trying to unpack many childhood memories and hurts. In the process of seeking wisdom, she visits everyone from Tara Brach to Pema Chödrön to Sharon Salzberg to the Dalai Lama. She goes on retreats and looks closer to home, and as she describes both why she's seeking help and the forms of help she seeks, she offers up a way of looking at the world that embraces many traditions, from science to Buddhism to a type of Judaism that's a little different than what one might learn in temple. She is by turns skeptical and receptive, and writes in an extremely accessible style, with sentences like, "While researching the benefits of meditation, I developed a crush on the brain of a neuroscientist whose deepest beliefs came from a conversation he had with his mother about peas." She weaves her inquiries into a compelling story that even at its most painful still feels hopeful. She's never preachy or too New Agey, but simply a seeker sharing what she's learned, and it's quite a varied look at everything from Jewish mysticism to crypts at St. John the Divine, various forms of therapy and meditation and more. Highly recommended.

[Julie · Rating 4 out of 5]

At the end of a book tour, successful author Priscilla Warner decides to spend a year addressing her recurring panic attacks, seeking therapies that will re-tool her brain to be more like the brain of a Buddhist monk. She starts meditating, seeks out teachers and therapists, and tries healing methods such as Ayurvedic massage. She also has her brain scanned, both at the beginning of her quest and after a year of work, to get scientific feedback on how things are going.
Although our lives have been different, I empathized with Priscilla, and wanted her to succeed in finding peace. I admired her courage in living life despite the panic attacks, and I especially admired the open-mindedness with which she approached this quest to heal herself. Healing takes time, and she gave herself the gift of that time.
Treating readers as trusted friends is another gift. Her nonjudgmental voice makes her a comfortable companion as she shares her journey. Each of her victories felt like real steps along one person’s road—and step by step is how we live our lives, and how healing happens; not in one blinding flash, but over a span of time.
This is a book I will happily share with others who are seeking their own healing paths, telling them, “Here’s someone who found a way, just as I know you will find yours.”

[Jude (HeyJudeReads) Fricano · Rating 5 out of 5]

Have now read this book for the second time. First time it jumped off the shelf at me at the library. Fall of 2011. Savored each page and didn't want to let it go. Then I won a signed copy from the author on Pinterest and read my own copy again just now. I feel calmer after I read this book - now it will be a necessary re-read for me. Once a year seems like a good goal.

Priscilla takes you on a journey from frenzy to calm, showing her adventures seeking peace and ultimate comfort with herself. She's a terrific inspiration and encourages me to slow down and breathe in, breathe out! Not a how-to, but many life lessons!

[Jo · Rating 5 out of 5]

My favorite book of the just dawned new year, and this is a keeper. In Priscilla Warner's journey from panic to peace there are so many gems to explore, from lovingkindness phrases to Trager work, Ayurveda and EMDR. Her honesty is refreshing, her generosity astounding, her experience inspiring. Highly recommended!

[Jan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thoroughly enjoyed reading about Priscilla's yearlong journey. Having experienced panic attacks and growing up in a dysfunctional family myself I was impressed with her positive attitude and healthy relationships with her husband and children. Although I hardly accepted all of her "truths", there are many life-lessons in this well-written book. A good read for those curious about meditation.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you're intrigued by the idea of meditation as a potentially useful tool, yet you're skeptical, or afraid to dive right in, this book is a great place to start. The writing is crisp and wonderful, and her journey is surely worth the time.

[High Plains Library District · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wanted to like this book, really I did. And there were parts that were interesting - it was fascinating to see the many different methods she tried to get rid of her panic attacks, and there was beauty in her attempts to understand her relationship with her parents. But I couldn’t get over the sense of privilege inherent in the fact that almost everything she tried cost money, sometimes quite a bit of money.

Initially, the book seemed fairly light-hearted. The author decides that she wants to journey “from panic to peace” and to acquire the “brain of a monk”. Soon, however, we learn that she suffers from anxiety and regular panic attacks and has a family history of mental illness. To combat this, she embarks on a hunt for something to help. Through singing bowls, meditation, EMDR (bilateral stimulation of the left and right sides of the brain in order to fully experience events), ritual Jewish bathing (Mikvah), and both a retreat with Pema Chödrön and a workshop from the Dalai Lama, as well as a number of other methods, the author does become calmer over time and stops taking Klonopin daily.

This is also the story of her parents – her father, manic-depressive, who dies of cancer – and her mother – an artist who is debilitated by Alzheimer’s. In confronting her parents’ mortality, she finally starts turning the stories in her life around and instead of being miserable, feels gratitude for the good parts of her childhood.

There is a quote from an holistic doctor she consulted, which kind of sums up the whole book for me: “’You’re living in your head too much,’ the holistic doctor told me.” Yes. This is where it feels like privilege – that you can spend a year and quite a bit of money learning that it’s possible to meditate while peeling potatoes, that drawing with a pencil can help calm you down, and that – in the end – it’s not all about you.

Ironically (or perhaps helpfully), most of the suggestions in the Appendix of what you can do to become more calm are cost-free.

-Marjorie

[Marjorie Elwood · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wanted to like this book, really I did. And there were parts that were interesting - it was fascinating to see the many different methods she tried to get rid of her panic attacks, and there was beauty in her attempts to understand her relationship with her parents. But I couldn’t get over the sense of privilege inherent in the fact that almost everything she tried cost money, sometimes quite a bit of money.

Initially, the book seemed fairly light-hearted. The author decides that she wants to journey “from panic to peace” and to acquire the “brain of a monk”. Soon, however, we learn that she suffers from anxiety and regular panic attacks and has a family history of mental illness. To combat this, she embarks on a hunt for something to help. Through singing bowls, meditation, EMDR (bilateral stimulation of the left and right sides of the brain in order to fully experience events), ritual Jewish bathing (Mikvah), and both a retreat with Pema Chödrön and a workshop from the Dalai Lama, as well as a number of other methods, the author does become calmer over time and stops taking Klonopin daily.

This is also the story of her parents – her father, manic-depressive, who dies of cancer – and her mother – an artist who is debilitated by Alzheimer’s. In confronting her parents’ mortality, she finally starts turning the stories in her life around and instead of being miserable, feels gratitude for the good parts of her childhood.

There is a quote from an holistic doctor she consulted, which kind of sums up the whole book for me: “’You’re living in your head too much,’ the holistic doctor told me.” Yes. This is where it feels like privilege – that you can spend a year and quite a bit of money learning that it’s possible to meditate while peeling potatoes, that drawing with a pencil can help calm you down, and that – in the end – it’s not all about you.

Ironically (or perhaps helpfully), most of the suggestions in the Appendix of what you can do to become more calm are cost-free.

[Carla Parreira]

Melhores trechos: "...Quando você está pronto para aprender, suas lições o encontram nos lugares mais estranhos... Olhei no fundo dos olhos escuros de Dolma e segurei aquelas mãos fortes enquanto ela começava a rezar ou cantarolar de novo, ainda segurando minhas mãos e puxando-as com delicadeza, fazendo que sim com a cabeça. Respirei de uma maneira profunda, entrecortada e irregular. E então, deixei aquilo sair. A dor e a tristeza, o cansaço e o medo. A decepção e o sofrimento. Os asilos e o rosto confuso de minha mãe, meu ninho vazio com os filhos que partiram, as dores e os tormentos de meu corpo que envelhecia. Deixei sair meu desejo ardente por juventude, por felicidade, por perfeição, por uma vida sem sofrimento. Liberei tudo aquilo... Nos seus livros, escrevera que, por meio da meditação, estamos procurando aumentar nossa compaixão, despertar nossos corações e mentes. Um aprofundamento do amor abre as portas da compaixão. Compaixão é a essência do ensinamento, ou do darma... Após ter meu horário agendado, voltei ao meu quarto e li sobre a Primeira Nobre Verdade do Buda: Nascimento é sofrimento, envelhecimento é sofrimento, doença é sofrimento, separação do ser amado é sofrimento, não conseguir o que se quer é sofrimento. Em outras palavras, todos nós sofremos... Mude o seu estilo de meditação o tempo todo – aconselhou-me ele. – E lembre que a meditação nem sempre vai funcionar com o pânico. Apenas aceite isso. Respire fundo, faça algo físico. Exercite-se... A praia é meu lugar favorito na Terra, mas meditar ali não estava dando certo. Então deixei o mar e andei até um canal que corria paralelo à beira-mar. Era muito mais silencioso longe das ondas. Podia ouvir o som dos meus pés andando na areia lisa e compacta. Concentrei-me num pássaro qualquer que traçava sua rota adiante de mim. O vento fazia meus cabelos fustigarem meu rosto. De repente, eu podia meditar de novo. Tirei os tênis. A água morna aqueceu meus tornozelos. Bem ao longe, a água mais profunda no canal movimenta-se rápida e vigorosamente. Sentei na areia e observei a forte corrente, meditando em seu movimento. No dia seguinte, descobri que podia fazer pequenos videoclipes com minha camerazinha digital. Caminhei pelo canal outra vez, e fiz imagens da água em movimento e da vegetação de praia à deriva. Estava absolutamente tomada por uma vertigem criativa. Tudo aquilo que via, ouvia e sentia era uma meditação. Em meu caminho para casa, não me senti mais distraída pela arrebentação das ondas. Sentei na praia e meditei ao som e movimento delas. Voltei para casa em Nova York e continuei a praticar todos os dias. Tive um fogacho durante uma das sessões, mas lembrei as palavras de Mingyur sobre tudo ser uma fonte de meditação. Por fim, o calor abandonou meu corpo. Eu era uma tranquila monja menopáusica... Dolma se ofereceu para me ensinar uma meditação especial. Ela sentou no chão de sua loja vazia, com a coluna ereta, olhos cerrados e as mãos em concha sobre o colo. – Imagine seu pai em seu ombro direito – disse-me Dolma. – Junto com todos os homens de sua vida. Então imagine sua mãe em seu ombro esquerdo, com todas as mulheres da sua vida. Então coloque toda a dor e o sofrimento do mundo diante de si, e todos os seres vivos do mundo às suas costas – orientou-me. Ela parecia fazer tudo isso sem esforço. Mas, quando sentei no chão ao seu lado e tentei fazer a mesma meditação, meus pais não pararam de escorregar de meus ombros. Eu estava mais leve, mas eles eram muito pesados... Eu era uma hippie envelhecida de quadris largos, uma dona de casa mascarada como moderninha por algumas horas. O Buda disse que sofremos por causa das forças que nos visitam, como ganância, raiva, medo e inveja. Sharon disse que podia estar sentada na cozinha, ouvir uma batida na porta, e essas forças entrarem em peso... Ela nos ensinou uma série de frases para sussurrarmos para nós mesmos: 'Que eu esteja em segurança. Que eu seja feliz. Que eu seja saudável. Que eu viva bem.' Uma vez atrás da outra, desejei para mim coisas que não sabia se merecia... Nunca tinha pensado em mim mesma como um tigre. Sempre tinha me imaginado mais como um gatinho medroso... Acontecimentos emocionais são experienciados no lado direito e, quando os metabolizamos, eles são movidos para a esquerda, onde são categorizados e não têm uma carga. Fazemos isso durante o dia todo. Passamos de um estado emocional para um estado lógico, da memória subjetiva para a memória objetiva, de uma carga para nenhuma carga. Mas, quando estamos traumatizados, as experiências não são metabolizadas. Elas ficam congeladas no tempo e no espaço do lado direito do cérebro... E vou ser dona dessa felicidade. Não vou me sentir culpada por ter uma vida maravilhosa e desfrutar dela. Vou ser capaz de dividir minha felicidade com outras pessoas, para estar apta a dizer que eu sofria de terríveis ataques de pânico, mas que já não passo por isso. Que nem mesmo me descrevo como uma pessoa ansiosa. Que me descrevo como uma pessoa que passou por muita dor, ou a dor que todo mundo tem. Mas que eu a processei. E que posso ficar em paz... A cada ataque de pânico que sempre experimentei, eu era atirada em um estado de solidão mental no qual me sentia dissociada do universo. A meditação me transportava a um ponto diferente, à parte, em que sentia a cura ao invés da perturbação. Eu ansiava pelos vinte minutos por dia que reservava para meditar. Os pensamentos que antes tentava afastar da cabeça agora simplesmente fluíam, em vez de correrem pelo meu sistema nervoso como meteoros destrutivos. Até comprei um zafu, uma confortável almofada de meditação recheada com trigo sarraceno, e demonstrei grande autocontrole ao fazer compras on-line, renunciando a 'chocolates intencionais' expostos às ondas cerebrais de monges que meditavam, um timer de meditação cujo alarme tinia como as tigelas tibetanas que ressoam, e tapetes de ioga que poderia personalizar com uma foto de Mickey... Minha mãe perdera o pai subitamente, apenas seis semanas antes de meu nascimento, e falava sobre isso repetidamente. Ela poderia ter transmitido pânico para mim ainda no útero? O Dr. Scaer concordou que ela poderia ter transmitido alguma ansiedade, mas sentia que outros fatores também estavam em jogo. − Seus pais foram incapazes de cuidar de você nas suas crises porque eles estavam traumatizados com a criação que eles próprios receberam – disse-me o Dr. Scaer... Sem ser intolerante, ela defendeu a ideia de que se concentrar no próprio sofrimento ou tristeza não era produtivo. Ela me descortinou a perspectiva de que eu precisava parar de me concentrar em minhas próprias dificuldades. Ela citou Trungpa: 'O prazer não é uma recompensa, e a dor não é uma punição. São apenas acontecimentos comuns.' Tudo pode desmoronar. Todos nós acreditamos que aquilo que está acontecendo agora durará para sempre. Mas chegar ao fundo do poço é o fim de algo e o começo de alguma outra coisa... Visualize o sol em seu coração, como funcionar melhor para você. Não importa em que estado você esteja, o sol está lá, irradiando calor e luz, iluminando sua escuridão. Há uma parte muito mais expansiva do seu ser, muito além de suas esperanças e medos de como você quer que as coisas sejam... Eu tenho me contado histórias por tantos anos. Mas as histórias mudam. Tramas sofrem reviravoltas e tomam direções inesperadas. Talvez a história da minha vida com o pânico fosse algo que eu poderia deixar. Não de repente, mas minha história de vida começou a se desenrolar diante de mim, de uma maneira nova e excitante... O sofrimento, de acordo com o Buda, é aquela tensão criada na mente pela ideia de que as coisas deviam ser diferentes do que são... Quando você se doa há uma sensação de felicidade, de ir na direção da simplicidade, de sentir que sua vida está completa e de que sua ética é baseada na integridade... É quando as pessoas vão além da infelicidade e conseguem se tornar plenas. Elas criam vidas muito diferentes daquelas com as quais cresceram. Frequentemente, elas fazem isso por intermédio dos filhos. E foi o que você fez. Um conserto mágico... A Torá diz que todos estão aqui por um motivo. Muitos judeus buscam além de seus ensinamentos, no budismo, por exemplo, porque não sabem o que existe de disponível no judaísmo. Mas você nasceu com uma alma judaica, que jamais será prejudicada, já que é uma parte de Deus. Se você se identificar com ela e cultivá-la, vai sempre ter alegria, pois vai estar em contato com sua essência, que jamais pode ser tirada de você... A Torá nos dá seiscentos e treze mitzvahs, que são formas de se conectar com Deus e com a santidade dentro de nós. Consideramos a nós mesmos muito independentes, que Deus deva ser algo separado, talvez sentado no céu, num trono, a nos vigiar, com Sua barba branca. Mas, na verdade, não existe realidade fora de Deus. Tudo é um detalhe da divindade. Tudo o que existe. As pessoas que você conhece, os lugares aonde vai, as coisas que faz... Deus recria o mundo a cada minuto, na forma de energia, que está vibrando constantemente em torno de si mesma, esbarrando nela própria. Fiquei ali sentada, arrebatada, em silêncio. – Na literatura cabalística – continuou Chanie – , essa energia é a energia de Deus, e é por isso que não acreditamos na imutabilidade. Uma coisa pode parecer muito estática na sua vida; você pode achar que não tem como ir do ponto A ao ponto B. Mas esse não é o caso. As coisas podem ser de determinada forma num momento e totalmente diferentes no seguinte. Só precisamos aproveitar essa energia... Alguns místicos judaicos são transportados de tal maneira quando meditam que precisam de um guia a seu lado, para puxá-los de volta à Terra quando são seduzidos por um mundo além deste... Os grandes cabalistas sempre disseram: 'Aqueles que sabem não dizem; e aqueles que dizem não sabem. Não somos seres físicos numa jornada espiritual; somos seres espirituais numa jornada física.' As pessoas me perguntam para onde vai a alma depois da morte, e penso num diálogo imaginário entre uma geladeira e a corrente de eletricidade. A geladeira pergunta à eletricidade: 'Para onde você vai quando eles me tiram da tomada?' E a eletricidade diz: 'Quanta arrogância! Vou para onde sempre vou! Para onde você vai? Eles inventaram você há apenas cem anos, você é só uma caixa. Aprendeu a conter minha energia durante algum tempo, para refrigerar a comida, e, agora, acha que é tudo? Você não é o que importa! Eu sou! Eu volto para o lugar sem confinamento, incontida por recipientes e caixas como você.' Não estamos tentando chegar a outro lugar. Estamos apenas acolhendo o que é a vida neste instante, neste lugar. Um canal de energia oco sobe e desce pelo corpo, como um rio. Chamado de nadi central, o canal tem dois meridianos que correm a seu lado, entrelaçando-se e interconectando-se, formando os sete chacras, onde nossa fisiologia se conecta com nossa consciência. O primeiro chacra fica na base do cóccix. O segundo fica alinhado ao púbis. O terceiro fica no umbigo; o quarto, no coração; o quinto, na garganta; o sexto, no 'terceiro olho', no centro da testa, logo acima das sobrancelhas... Existe um Buda de ouro dentro de cada um de nós, falou Tara. Às vezes, nos esquecemos disso, mas o caminho da verdadeira cura está em nossa capacidade de obter acesso a esse ouro. Certamente, eu vinha fazendo algumas renovações no meu próprio gesso, vencendo todos os obstáculos estruturais para chegar a alguma verdade central e elementar... Quando somos machucados, nossos corpos e corações desenvolvem uma armadura. Queremos machucar os outros para nos distrair de nossa própria vulnerabilidade. Se perdoarmos uma pessoa, existe o medo de que ela jamais saiba o quanto sofremos. – Podemos ficar viciados no sofrimento – falou Tara. Eu sabia exatamente o que ela queria dizer... Uma mente feliz é, de fato, tranquila; Uma mente tranquila não está confusa; Não ter confusão é compreender a verdade;
Ao compreender a verdade, obtém-se liberdade. Eu estava longe de compreender a verdade, mas minha mente estava se sentindo bastante tranquila na presença do Dalai-Lama. Até consegui anotar algo que ele disse e eu consegui entender: Ainda que você busque o vazio, encontrará o vazio do vazio... As pessoas têm sentimentos; felicidade, tristeza, raiva, decepção. Mas o que importa é o que fazemos com esses sentimentos. Como vivemos com eles e os liberamos. Porque, seja lá o que sintamos, felicidade ou tristeza, isso também passará. Outra coisa acontecerá. Eu compreendia que sentimentos iam e vinham. Sabia que os meus também iriam e viriam. Porém, eu me sentia calma naquele momento... Dawn compartilha comigo um velho ditado aiurvédico: Você pode pegar veneno e transformá-lo em néctar com uma mente saudável e pode pegar o néctar e transformá-lo em veneno com uma mente doente... 'Se permitirmos que a luz da percepção de que somos amados reluza através da escuridão de nossas feridas, poderemos começar a nos desapegar das feri-das', dizia uma citação de Dennis. 'Deus nos valoriza ‘mais do que muitos pardais’, continuava ele, citando as escrituras, 'e carrega a todos nós como uma águia carrega sua cria. Ao nos conscientizarmos disso, permitimos que uma nova cicatrização se forme em torno das feridas da vida. Ao abrirmos nossos olhos para as muitas formas como o amor de Deus se manifesta na beleza que gera vida e nos eventos de nossas vidas, e no amor que os outros têm por nós, começamos a nos arriscar a viver com uma consciência do amor presente, em vez das feridas do passado'..."

[Paul Lyons · Rating 2 out of 5]

Priscilla Warner had everything a woman could ask for. She had a successful career for many years. She had a loving, long-lasting marriage, along with two healthy children. She had friends, money, and lots of love in and around her. So why was she still having the panic attacks that have haunted her since she was a teenager? If only Priscilla could achieve the joy, peace, and tranquility of a Tibetan monk, her life would be so much better. Such is the question, and the journey of Priscilla Warner's "Learning to Breathe: My Year-Long Quest to Bring Calm to My Life."

Part biography, part self-help educational tool, "Learning to Breathe" examines any and all efforts by the author to take back her life after years of suffering from anxiety and trauma. Much is made of Priscilla Warner's Rhode Island upbringing, with two loving, yet not particularly effective parents who pretty much left Priscilla on her own. Her father suffered from a severe depression that haunted him until his death. Her ailing mother was a brilliant yet narcissistic artist. Due to the lackluster parenting, Priscilla's maternal instincts kicked in at an early age, and she was left mothering both of her siblings, as well as her parents. The pressure was enormous, as was the anxiety.

In her effort to become a peaceful monk, Priscilla Warner journeys through a series of lectures, retreats, massage treatments, various therapies, books, doctors, mentors, pastors, rabbis, various forms of meditation, as well teaching from the Dali Lama himself. In the process of healing, Warner takes a deep look inside, carving away at the fog of anxiety that covered up the immense joy and compassion inside her. Though the journey was filled with peril, it was also filled with peace, discovery, laughter, generosity, gratitude, serenity and immense joy.

In experiencing Priscilla Warner's journey to peace, there is indeed value in the wisdom and knowledge she gains in the process. The gift of giving, the pliability of the brain, and the joy of lovingkindness to oneself as well as to others are all great lessons to learn from. However, the lessons could have made a much deeper impact if the book were easier to digest as a whole.

As much as I appreciated the idea of "Learning to Breathe: My Year-Long Quest to Bring Calm to My Life," in practice I struggled to get through it. The effort by Priscilla Warner is sincere, and heartfelt. Yet the book itself is a bit of a dull read, with little to no dynamic to it. Instead of having some form of narrative build-up that captures your attention, the book simply approaches each new chapter with a "then I did this, and then I did that, and then I did this..." type of approach. As a result, it was far too easy to put Priscilla Warner's book down, and far too difficult to pick it up again. In the end, I just wanted to get "Learning to Breathe: My Year-Long Quest to Bring Calm to My Life" over with. Oh well. Great lessons, not-so-great class.

[Bookworm · Rating 1 out of 5]

it's "Eat, Pray, Love" with more meditation. While not experiencing the same panic attacks the author does, I've felt more and more stress in my life and decided to explore meditation more as a way of coping and learning how to not stress out so much. So when this book popped up for me, it sounded like an intriguing project.
 
Priscilla Warner is an empty nester who has suffered panic attacks for just about all of her adult life. Burdened with parents who weren't extremely nurturing or loving, the author suffers her first panic attack in college. And they follow her throughout her adulthood: her marriage, the birth of her sons, and then finally she decides to do something about it. What is this new thing? Meditation.
 
The book is basically the author's exploration of various meditation/prayer/mindfulness techniques. Some are interesting to read about, others are not. Honestly, while I enjoyed reading about her various experiences, *how* she got there seemed suspect.
 
The beginning of the book is the author discussing her anxiety and panic attacks. She describes throughout the book how her family simply seemed to accept and deal with them. Her husband and sons seem to be exceptionally easy-going, and I can't help but wonder if it was a condensing of time/effort or if her panic attacks weren't that bad or...what. Her meditation efforts seems to resolve her panic attacks very easily and quickly, and it just seemed...odd.
 
Other reviewers also point out that this author must have some means: while she has to be prescribed medication for her panic attacks and initially used to drink vodka to cope, there's no discussion about how she managed to hold down a job or raise a family while dealing with her anxiety. And that's not to mention how she manages to afford to travel and make appointments at various meditation retreats, seeing various specialists, etc.
 
That is not to say that this book doesn't have value, but it's like "ELP" in the sense that only a certain section of people could probably afford to pay for and take time to explore various techniques like the author did. It was nice to see this written as more of a memoir than a "how-to" about the meditation and the science behind it. Even though it perhaps became a little bit too much about this woman's issues with her family rather than the meditation and there here and now.
 
It's not a bad read, but it's not as accessible as it could have been.

[Pam · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really liked parts of the book, some made me laugh others nearly cry. It did keep me reading, even if I felt it was disjointed at times. Then I thought aren't all of our lives and thoughts disjointed at times. I know mine are often. I felt like I got to get to know the author more, which was nice. I met her in the book THE FAITH CLUB. Over all, I don't think too many of us could go on year long search to do this, financially. But it did encourage me to seek out some books on Buddhism and meditation CD's. I admire her courage and determination to face the disorder head on and to put it all out there in book form. Her ability to actually change her brain was pretty amazing, too. I hope it helps people with panic attacks, especially that one technique that really seemed helpful to her. I think it was called EMDR, but my memory doesn't always serve me. Read the book, if you really want to know! I would recommend the book to those who suffer from anxiety disorders or panic attacks and/or even for those of us who just want to learn to breathe better, and how slowing down and being aware of what are bodies are doing from time to time. The principles of such can help us dissipate daily stress from our lives.

[Tess Jones · Rating 3 out of 5]

In Learning to Breathe, Priscilla Warner goes on a year-long journey to heal herself from lifelong panic attacks. She leaves no stone unturned as she attends meditation workshops, meets with advisors, tries massage techniques, learns about Jewish mysticism, and even goes to hear the Dalai Lamai speak. She submerges herself in the process of self-exploration and healing, and through the sweet and tender bearing of her gentle soul we bear witness her experiences. Her perseverance and openness to new things is inspiring, and the book acts as a window into the philosophies and practices of many great speakers she visited. I found myself underlining many passages as I reflected on my own life.

But while I found the book educational, it lacked structure and a clear story through line, making it a slower read. At times I felt I was reading one similar page after the next, without suspense or a story, and as a reader had moments where I felt lost and without motivation to go on. She seemed to resolve her panic attacks early in the book, and for the rest of it jumped around to different places, life events, and experiences.

Nevertheless, I enjoyed the book and found great value within it, and will keep quotes from it as small treasures on my bulletin board.

[Heather Fineisen · Rating 4 out of 5]

"I'd become just another unhappy person on the planet...leading a life of quiet desperation."

Priscilla Warner and her yearlong quest to bring calm to her life is handbook of heavy hitters in the "peace" genre. Warner wishes to find her "inner monk" and consults Sylvia Boorstein, Pema Chodrom, the Dalai Lama, and Sharon Salzberg among others to learn how to quell her anxiety. This is a great reference for exploring different techniques for anyone interested in meditation or various types of therapy. Warner is straight forward and bare, dealing with her own issues as well as her mother's Alzheimer's. If you want something more in depth, skip straight to those she consults as she lists a great bibliography. But for times when you need a hint, a push or a pick me up, this is a gem. "My mother has Alzheimer's, my dog is dying, and I am happy, I thought to myself. Life is wonderful." May we all find the wonderful.

[Sarah Bringhurst Familia · Rating 4 out of 5]

The past few years have been a little difficult on me. Things are getting better, but I have some residual anxiety that surfaces every so often. Like Priscilla Warner, I've been trying "to bring calm to my life." The personal narrative format of this book really worked for me. I loved accompanying Warner as she met with people from different faith/spirituality traditions, learned their ways of finding peace, and incorporated them into her own journey of the soul.

She includes quite a few beautiful quotations worthy of posting on the bathroom mirror, as well as beginner's instructions on meditation. I was fascinated to see the included CAT scans, showing that regular meditation actually produced physical changes in her brain chemistry. I would recommend this book to anyone struggling with anxiety, depression, panic attacks, or just finding that spot of calm in a hectic life.

[Katie Hilton · Rating 5 out of 5]

*******THIS WAS A FIRSTREADS GIVEAWAY FROM GOODREADS***************************

I loved, loved, loved this book. Though Priscilla started her 'calm quest' due to her battle with panic attacks, I think this book is applicable to anyone who experiences stress and struggle--um hello, all humans!

I don't believe I have any unique insights to offer in my review that others haven't already contributed, but I am happy to give my sincere seal of approval and I would highly recommend this book.

Thank you Priscilla, for sharing your experience with us and thank you Good Reads for giving me a chance to read it.

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am so grateful for Priscilla's book, Learning to Breathe. I learned so much about my own journey of battling anxiety, even though it is mostly in my past, by reading her account of the year she dedicated to finding peace for her brain. There are forms of meditation I had no idea existed, which Priscilla details in her book and I'm enjoying exploring them myself because I see how much calmness they brought to her life. This book is such a gift and I recommend it to everyone because we can all benefit from learning to quiet our mind and center our thoughts. I'm so thankful to Priscilla for opening up her heart to share this beautiful treasure of her experience.

[Christine · Rating 5 out of 5]

I cannot speak highly enough of this book. Priscilla's writing is accessible, elegant and exquisitely honest. In this book she writes of her year-long journey to bring calm to her life. She narrates her quest from the point of view of living it, but also as wise observer. This is a great gift to the reader because she offers a valuable opportunity for everyone to truly learn from her experience. If you've struggled with anxiety or depression, or simply feel lost in your life, this book will inspire you to find a path to peace and happiness.

[Jane · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's been a long time since I've read a book that I was so captivated by. Every chapter took me deeper into Priscilla's journey for truth, peace and healing and I was most intrigued by the choices she made along the way to move from panic to peace. I feel very lucky to have stumbled on this book at my library and know that I'll be thinking of Priscilla for a long time. Reading her story touched a nerve and I'm eager to try some of the techniques she tried in hopes for some similar success.

[Louise Mathewson · Rating 5 out of 5]

WOW!! Excellent book - the story of her journey to heal panic attacks that she had had for near 40 years! The author really wanted healing, was willing to face her demons, her history, her thoughts and feelings and in doing so she found relief from terrible attacks of panic. I really admire Priscilla for her strength, courage, determination and persistence to find healing and peace and then to tell her story! I learned things for my own journey as well.

[Jan · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 1/2 stars. I really enjoyed joining Priscilla on her quest. I learned a lot about various therapies and meditaion methods and a bit about myself. Obviously, not everyone can spend the time or money to experience all these different systems and wonder people, but in a way I felt that I was right there with her. I think I have a better handle on my own anxiety issues after reading this book.

[Susan · Rating 3 out of 5]

a refresher with all the biggies: pema chodron, sharon salzberg, sylvia boorstein, jack kornfeld, even the dalai lama re-enforcing the need to find calm in our lives with meditation practice. the background of childhood trauma the author faced was most interesting and makes you think about even the smallest incidents in one's life that triggers emotion for years after.

[Lain · Rating 4 out of 5]

Because I also have suffered from anxiety and panic attacks for years, I was extremely interested to see if the author would find a way to "cure " her over active mind and adrenal glands. She's a terrific writer, and her experiences and journey gave me hope. But I wonder if those of us without her connections and resources can find similar peace?

I'm willing to give it a shot!

[Kathy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I just could related to her quest and where she came from. I so appreciated her insight and the things she learned along the way. It also shows that no matter what you believe, especially faith wise, we are all the same.