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Loyalty: The Vexing Virtue
A witty, provocative, story-filled inquiry into the indispensable virtue of loyalty—a tricky ideal that gets tangled and compromised when loyalties collide (as they inevitably do), but a virtue the author, a prizewinning columnist for The Wall Street Journal , says is as essential as it is impossible. Felten illustrates the push and pull of loyalties— from the ancient Greeks to Facebook—with stories and scenarios in which conflicting would-be moral trump cards trap the unlucky in painful ethical dilemmas. The foundation of our greatest satisfactions in life, loyalty also proves to be the root of much misery. Can we escape the excruciating predicaments when loyalties are at loggerheads? Can we avoid betraying and being betrayed?
When looking for love and friendship—the things that make life worthwhile—we are looking for loyalty. Who can we count on? And who can count on us? These are the essential (and uncomfortable) questions loyalty poses.
Loyalty and betrayal are the stuff of the great stories that move Agamemnon, Huck Finn, Brutus, Antigone, Judas. When is loyalty right, and when does the virtue become a vice?
As Felten writes in his thoughtful and entertaining book, loyalty is vexing. It forces us to choose who and what counts most in our lives—from siding with one friend over another to favoring our own children over others. It forces us to confront the conflicting claims of fidelity to country, community, company, church, and even ourselves. Loyalty demands we make decisions that define who we are.
When looking for love and friendship—the things that make life worthwhile—we are looking for loyalty. Who can we count on? And who can count on us? These are the essential (and uncomfortable) questions loyalty poses.
Loyalty and betrayal are the stuff of the great stories that move Agamemnon, Huck Finn, Brutus, Antigone, Judas. When is loyalty right, and when does the virtue become a vice?
As Felten writes in his thoughtful and entertaining book, loyalty is vexing. It forces us to choose who and what counts most in our lives—from siding with one friend over another to favoring our own children over others. It forces us to confront the conflicting claims of fidelity to country, community, company, church, and even ourselves. Loyalty demands we make decisions that define who we are.
- GenresNonfictionPhilosophy
320 pages, Hardcover
First published April 26, 2011
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68 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
June 25, 2011
I recently finished a three year contract as a lecturer at CWRU, and was not rehired for a second three year term, in large part to the decision by a colleague who should have had my best interests at heart, but opted to act poorly. (I am being vague on purpose.) When I heard of this book on NPR, I immediately gravitated toward it. I teach a class called Lies and Betrayal, and this book fits nicely in with that. The author points out that loyalty is thorny. There are reasons why Dante considers ...more I recently finished a three year contract as a lecturer at CWRU, and was not rehired for a second three year term, in large part to the decision by a colleague who should have had my best interests at heart, but opted to act poorly. (I am being vague on purpose.) When I heard of this book on NPR, I immediately gravitated toward it. I teach a class called Lies and Betrayal, and this book fits nicely in with that. The author points out that loyalty is thorny. There are reasons why Dante considers disloyalty to be the greatest sin; yet Felten points out that loyalty has its danger. If you know your brother is a mass murderer, do you protect him? To whom does one owe the greatest loyalty? What are the ramifications of loyalty? I like this book and find myself writing down many quotes.(less)
I am about 1/3 through the book. It is not doing what I wanted it to do--I guess be a monograph on loyalty that was quite pointed. Rather, it is a friendly musing on the topic and the author feels comfortably jumping from point to point. I am going to use this space for interesting quotes that I have found:
Loyalty, commitment, fidelity and allegiances: "One thing ties all of these notions together: They all invite conflict' trouble is their middle name."--Judith Shklar
"the problem is to decide which loyalties to honor"
"I believe in justice, but I will defend my mother before justice" Camus
"What we owe our friends may be irreconcilable with what we owe to the truth" Aristotle
"loyalty may be the most venerable of virtues, but clearly it can be a dangerous one too"
OK--I have finished this book. Hmm-the idea for the book was terrific, but I found it much less interesting to read. It reads as an author's not to well thought out musings on a topic he finds interesting. He did decent research, but, first, I find his arguments not well-formed, nor particularly convincing. This was more a meandering kind of book, occasionally interesting.
I found the following thoughts useful:
"But we do realize that whether one comes through in a pinch is the measure of friendship that matters. Loyalty may not be sufficient for a real friendship, but it is necessary."
Also, "This focus on fidelity in the face of misfortune is the very definition of loyalty."
And "We are, you could say, what we are loyal to. to identify loyalities is to sift and sort the core things e care about."
These are worthwhile considerations and thoughts.
comment · see review
I am about 1/3 through the book. It is not doing what I wanted it to do--I guess be a monograph on loyalty that was quite pointed. Rather, it is a friendly musing on the topic and the author feels comfortably jumping from point to point. I am going to use this space for interesting quotes that I have found:
Loyalty, commitment, fidelity and allegiances: "One thing ties all of these notions together: They all invite conflict' trouble is their middle name."--Judith Shklar
"the problem is to decide which loyalties to honor"
"I believe in justice, but I will defend my mother before justice" Camus
"What we owe our friends may be irreconcilable with what we owe to the truth" Aristotle
"loyalty may be the most venerable of virtues, but clearly it can be a dangerous one too"
OK--I have finished this book. Hmm-the idea for the book was terrific, but I found it much less interesting to read. It reads as an author's not to well thought out musings on a topic he finds interesting. He did decent research, but, first, I find his arguments not well-formed, nor particularly convincing. This was more a meandering kind of book, occasionally interesting.
I found the following thoughts useful:
"But we do realize that whether one comes through in a pinch is the measure of friendship that matters. Loyalty may not be sufficient for a real friendship, but it is necessary."
Also, "This focus on fidelity in the face of misfortune is the very definition of loyalty."
And "We are, you could say, what we are loyal to. to identify loyalities is to sift and sort the core things e care about."
These are worthwhile considerations and thoughts.
comment · see review
June 5, 2011
A light read for a subject that is rather heavy in nature. Thought provoking and an interesting look at what loyalty had meant thought history and whet we have come to see it in the present world. A book that lets you evaluate the meaning and perspective of relationships you have with people and ideas.
September 27, 2018
Eric Felten, a prize winning columnist for the Wall Street Journal, explores the subject of loyalty throughout the world, using as a basis various areas where this virtue is most strongly valued or illustrated:
* Examples throughout world history -- Felten puts a focus on the topic of loyalty as displayed in Greek history (Spartacus, Marcus Pacuvius) and mythology. WARNING: This book contains spoilers for the story of Pyramus & Thisbe from Ovid's Metamorphoses, Eurpides' Orestes, Sophocles'Antigone, and Aeschylus' Agamemnon.
* World Literature -- Felten pulls examples of the theme of loyalty from works of Mark Twain, George Orwell, William Shakespeare and 1001 Arabian Nights. WARNING: There are spoilers for Orwell's Animal Farm, Twain's Huck Finn, 1001 Arabian Nights, Shakespeare's King Henry V,The Caine Mutiny by Herman Wouk, and O. Henry's short story, "After 20 Years". Felten also gets into the sad story of Graham Green's youth. Now known for such classics as The Quiet American and The End of the Affair, Green's younger days were marked with heavy stress building from divided loyalties between his family (particularly his father, the headmaster of his school) and Green's school friends. The pressure got to be so much that at one point Green became convinced suicide was the only remaining answer. But as we now know, Green later overcame this dark period but actually went on to denounce the idea of loyalty altogether, at least outwardly. Elements of his work suggest that even in his later years he still saw value in the concept.
* Business -- Felten explores the psychology behind brand loyalty people develop for certain products and loyalty programs businesses implement to snag and keep customers
* Military / Law Enforcement -- how loyalty / codes of conduct in these environments are developed, in what ways it is important in these groups; when discussing law enforcement and more specifically prisons, gets into "prisoner dilema" and Reid Technique
Felten even looks at loyalty in regards to the entertainment industry, citing as one example the demise of the marriage between actress Sandra Bullock and motorcycle manufacturing specialist Jesse James, after Bullock weathered a very public airing of James' adultery.
What makes it one of the most highly regarded virtues and what dangers does one face when loyalty is misplaced? Loyalty in a person is undeniably admirable, particularly when it stems from an honest place without ill intent or ulterior motive. Having people in your life who truly have your back allows one to be more brave, pursue more dreams, attempt more daring feats and ultimately develop a more fulfilling life all around. But what to do, when society places a burden on a person to be loyal to someone who does NOT seem to have the other person's interests at heart? Some will follow orders and remain loyal to the figure anyway, even when the figure's actions move beyond being merely selfish into flat out immoral or illegal. Even so, their followers can STILL get caught up in that sense of loyalty, making it difficult to convince a person to separate themselves from the unhealthy person in their life. It's just one of those things that rarely catches on, at least right away. Here enters Felten's point on how loyalty can become "the vexing virtue... creating moral conflicts".
Felten's book pleads the case as to why loyalty is still an important virtue worthy of lifelong pursuit. He writes with an enjoyable humorous tone but the text itself does not remain riveting throughout. This little book only lightly delves into the topic and even there, Felten's points sometimes become repetitive, his main stance being (as you can guess from the title) on the vexing quality of loyalty... but he hits upon the "vexing" idea A LOT.
* Examples throughout world history -- Felten puts a focus on the topic of loyalty as displayed in Greek history (Spartacus, Marcus Pacuvius) and mythology. WARNING: This book contains spoilers for the story of Pyramus & Thisbe from Ovid's Metamorphoses, Eurpides' Orestes, Sophocles'Antigone, and Aeschylus' Agamemnon.
* World Literature -- Felten pulls examples of the theme of loyalty from works of Mark Twain, George Orwell, William Shakespeare and 1001 Arabian Nights. WARNING: There are spoilers for Orwell's Animal Farm, Twain's Huck Finn, 1001 Arabian Nights, Shakespeare's King Henry V,The Caine Mutiny by Herman Wouk, and O. Henry's short story, "After 20 Years". Felten also gets into the sad story of Graham Green's youth. Now known for such classics as The Quiet American and The End of the Affair, Green's younger days were marked with heavy stress building from divided loyalties between his family (particularly his father, the headmaster of his school) and Green's school friends. The pressure got to be so much that at one point Green became convinced suicide was the only remaining answer. But as we now know, Green later overcame this dark period but actually went on to denounce the idea of loyalty altogether, at least outwardly. Elements of his work suggest that even in his later years he still saw value in the concept.
* Business -- Felten explores the psychology behind brand loyalty people develop for certain products and loyalty programs businesses implement to snag and keep customers
* Military / Law Enforcement -- how loyalty / codes of conduct in these environments are developed, in what ways it is important in these groups; when discussing law enforcement and more specifically prisons, gets into "prisoner dilema" and Reid Technique
Felten even looks at loyalty in regards to the entertainment industry, citing as one example the demise of the marriage between actress Sandra Bullock and motorcycle manufacturing specialist Jesse James, after Bullock weathered a very public airing of James' adultery.
What makes it one of the most highly regarded virtues and what dangers does one face when loyalty is misplaced? Loyalty in a person is undeniably admirable, particularly when it stems from an honest place without ill intent or ulterior motive. Having people in your life who truly have your back allows one to be more brave, pursue more dreams, attempt more daring feats and ultimately develop a more fulfilling life all around. But what to do, when society places a burden on a person to be loyal to someone who does NOT seem to have the other person's interests at heart? Some will follow orders and remain loyal to the figure anyway, even when the figure's actions move beyond being merely selfish into flat out immoral or illegal. Even so, their followers can STILL get caught up in that sense of loyalty, making it difficult to convince a person to separate themselves from the unhealthy person in their life. It's just one of those things that rarely catches on, at least right away. Here enters Felten's point on how loyalty can become "the vexing virtue... creating moral conflicts".
Felten's book pleads the case as to why loyalty is still an important virtue worthy of lifelong pursuit. He writes with an enjoyable humorous tone but the text itself does not remain riveting throughout. This little book only lightly delves into the topic and even there, Felten's points sometimes become repetitive, his main stance being (as you can guess from the title) on the vexing quality of loyalty... but he hits upon the "vexing" idea A LOT.
June 11, 2020
In these days when the word loyalty mostly refers to customers and brands, I found this book a refreshing call to consider the value of loyalty in relationships. I appreciate the author's survey of loyalty in history and literature and philosophy, and I appreciate that he delves into the positive and the negative sides of loyalty, truly a vexing virtue. This book deserves a slow read with time to savor the well-chosen vocabulary and time to think between chapters.
November 2, 2013
Connection is prevalent, but loyalty in short supply. Felten examines the arenas of life: partnership, friendship, work, country, and how our loyalties are divided, capricious, or sustained.
Comments are largely on it's vexation, and how one loyalty succeeds another. As Felten points out, loyalty is one of the best feelings we can feel from another, and yet we can step from kinship to constant loggerheads.
Felten's book is a thoughtful mediation on the virtue, and one that caused me to reflect on my intentions and commitments. Where we lose confidence in human fidelity, lest we not succumb to despair. Our canine friends are ready to fetch a bone
Comments are largely on it's vexation, and how one loyalty succeeds another. As Felten points out, loyalty is one of the best feelings we can feel from another, and yet we can step from kinship to constant loggerheads.
Felten's book is a thoughtful mediation on the virtue, and one that caused me to reflect on my intentions and commitments. Where we lose confidence in human fidelity, lest we not succumb to despair. Our canine friends are ready to fetch a bone
February 7, 2014
Book does a great job discussing the paradoxes inherent to the concept of loyalty - namely that loyalties to different people and ideals can conflict. Unfortunately there's no way to win them all - sometimes you're looked down on for being too loyal or for not being loyal enough, sometimes for the exact same option. This book does a great job at examining how we think about loyalty in everything from business to love. A non-fiction page turner.
April 13, 2015
This was a fun jaunt through the ups and downs of loyalty, both of which were addressed diligently and, I felt, fairly. The many dangers of blind loyalty were highlighted, and contrasted with the efficacy of it when we find ourselves in need of a lifeline. All told, it was an entertaining and interesting assessment of a value the modern world cannot make up its mind about.
February 25, 2013
Everything you ever wanted to know about loyalty. Accomplishes a lot in a relatively small book. Witty and accessible. Will have to read again sometime.
December 4, 2012
boring, repeated himself a hundred times with different era's of time.
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews