Running Away to Home: Our Family's Journey to Croatia in Search of Who We Are, Where We Came From, and What Really Matters

by Jennifer Wilson

A middle class, Midwestern family in search of meaning uproot themselves and move to their ancestral village in Croatia "We can look at this in two ways," Jim wrote, always the pragmatist. "We can panic and scrap the whole idea. Or we can take this as a sign. They're saying the economy is going to get worse before it gets better. Maybe this is the kick in the pants we needed to do something completely different. There will always be an excuse not to go…" And that, friends, is how a typically sane middle-aged mother decided to drag her family back to a forlorn mountain village in the backwoods of Croatia. So begins the author's journey in Running Away to Home . Jen, her architect husband, Jim, and their two children had been living the typical soccer- and ballet-practice life in the most Middle American of Des Moines, Iowa. They overindulged themselves and their kids, and as a family they were losing one another in the rush of work, school, and activities. One day, Jen and her husband looked at each other–both holding their Starbucks coffee as they headed out to their SUV in the mall parking lot, while the kids complained about the inferiority of the toys they just got–and asked "Is this the American dream? Because if it is, it sort of sucks." Jim and Jen had always dreamed of taking a family sabbatical in another country, so when they lost half their savings in the stock-market crash, it seemed like just a crazy enough time to do it. High on wanderlust, they left the troubled landscape of contemporary America for the Croatian mountain village of Mrkopalj, the land of Jennifer's ancestors. It was a village that seemed hermetically sealed for the last one hundred years, with a population of eight hundred (mostly drunken) residents and a herd of sheep milling around the post office. For several months they lived like locals, from milking the neighbor's cows to eating roasted pig on a spit to desperately seeking the village recipe for bootleg liquor. As the Wilson-Hoff family struggled to stay sane (and warm), what they found was much deeper and bigger than themselves.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Travel, Biography Memoir, Biography, Book Club, Family

336 pages, Hardcover

First published October 11, 2011

About the author

Jennifer Wilson is a reporter and editor who's worked for Esquire, National Geographic Traveler, No Depression, Traditional Home, Gourmet and many other national magazines and newspapers.

RUNNING AWAY TO HOME (St. Martin's Press) is about the time her family returned to live in the Croatian mountain village of her ancestors. It was chosen as Best Nonfiction Book in 2012 by the American Society of Journalists and Authors.

Her second book, WATER, is a novel about love, sex, and nitrate poisoning. It is available for pre-order now at http://ow.ly/VX8un.

She lives and writes in Iowa, the state that gave you Barack Obama and brought gay marriage to the Heartland. You're welcome.

Reviews

[Kwoomac · Rating 4 out of 5]

Goodreads giveaway. The book is about the author's time spent in Croatia with her husband and two young children as she researched her ancestors and looked for remaining family. I was interested in this book because friends and I have talked about vacationing in Croatia. The author is a travel writer by trade and has traveled extensively so she was expecting this year long trip to run fairly smoothly.

Jennifer decides to take a two week trip ahead of her family to scope things out, get the lay of the land. Her first night: "I stuck it out at Hotel Jastreb for the night, its one lonely inhabitant. it was through sheer force of will that I didn't fixate on the notion that my situation was the perfect premise for a horror movie: Cuculic (head of tourism bureau)showing up with an angry mob of drunken bears, screaming 'You are three hours late' as he bludgeons me with both a hammer and a sickle. Okay, maybe I was fixated."

In spite of this less than auspicious beginning, the author does move her family to Croatia to the small mountain town her great-grandparents left 100 years before. It's a really sweet story about the author's search for details about her family, while at the same time creating friendships with the townspeople. Wilson doesn't idealize either the setting or how hard the transition was for everyone, including herself.

Words of wisdom from Wilson's husband Jim, "If it were easy, everyone would be doing exactly what they dreamed of." Grandma Kate's words of wisdom, "You might be poor, but you have no excuse to stink."

Well written, at times funny, other times poignant story about a woman's search for family. Great characters. I loved their landlord and friend Robert, serious neighbor Mario, and even Cuculic, who turns out to be more complicated than just a lazy bureaucratic worker. Impressive that Wilson was able to pursue this dream, moving her whole family (except the dog and cat, which I had a hard time with) from Iowa to Croatia. Bravo.

[Jennie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wanted to like this book more, and debated giving it 3 stars, but I really struggled getting through this otherwise easy read. I think the reasons for this are 1) told as a narrative, Wilson never really makes the other people in this story more than appendages to her account. Even her immediate family seem to be afterthoughts, so I didn't feel connected to any of them. At the same time I didn't ever really feel connected to her journey either. 2) For a travel writer and someone I expected to have realistic expectations regarding traveling and living in different cultures/environments, she seemed to be endlessly surprised by the culture and customs, and this was supposed to be her ancestral home - did she not exhaustively research it? 3) Her goal in this trip was to find her family's ancestral roots and to pull her family out of the suburban hamster wheel and while I think she achieved both of these, she did not express the results of each in her writing.

[Diane · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was a pleasure to read. Jennifer and her husband decided to take their two kids and leave their home in Iowa to move to Croatia for a year so she can research her ancestors. Their adventure helps them grow closer as a family and it reminded them of the truly important things in life.

I love travel writing, and Jennifer's writing style was very warm, funny and introspective. Plus, you can't help but learn some Croatian words. Zivjeli!

[Grace · Rating 4 out of 5]

There was so much about this book that spoke to me. I was reading it during December, a time of year that typically finds me struggling to find good balance. There are so many pressures for our family's time and resources during this season that I find myself just wanting to drive our family to a little cabin in the woods where we can light a fire and play board games for hours on end. So in this way, I can relate to the author's desire to simplify her life-leave the soccer practices and business world behind in search of something more simple, more basic-her roots. I've always had a fascination with our family tree and the names and stories of my own ancestors. Do you know what I'd give to hear the stories untold by the still photographs that are my ancestors? I loved following Jennifer and her family as they arrived and settled in Croatia, I loved hearing the bits of language and imagining all the people they came to know. It was a fascinating group of people and a great country to explore through the author. I'd recommend this book to anyone who cares about their roots and wishes they could reach for the simple life we imagine our ancestors enjoyed.

[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

The other day, I received a message from the author of this book, saying she hoped I was enjoying it and that she forward to my review. Now, try as I might, my answer to her seems the place to start my review:
"There are some absolutely marvelous moments you've written, and I have had such obvious enjoyment reading that my husband is waiting to read it as soon as he can. I'm amazed you went with such little preparation about the history and genealogy, but think that perhaps that opened you up to the experience in a way that preparation might have prohibited. Will post a full review shortly. Thank you for letting me visit Croatia with you, Jim, and the kids."

I've read many books about travelling abroad, but few have captured me as much as this one did. Perhaps because the author was so candid about how little she knew before going, perhaps because though I know next to nothing about Croatia (horrible wars and beautiful beaches), perhaps because I somehow link it with Ukraine and my own heritage, I really felt right at home with Jenny, Jim, the two kids, and their journey into the small world of Mrkopalj. To go from anywhere in the U.S. to a village which mixes the old ways with a smattering of Nickelodeon would be culture shock enough, but to lack language abilities, and even minimal knowledge of heritage and history, and bring your kids along, takes courage. I think one of my favorite pieces of the book was how young Sam and Zadie adapted. It was no surprise that they mastered communications quickly. Sam's conversion to vegetarianism after seeing his meals on the hoof, then prepared on the spit, really endeared him to me. I also loved the discovery of language, and incorporation into the family canon of words: smecer (pronounced SMETCH-air; I can't type the c properly) for "the dump" reminded me of the inclusion of mit schlag into our family language after a trip to Switzerland/Austria/Germany one winter.

The people of Mrkopalj became my friends, too. Though the village is poor economically, it is rich in generosity of spirit and in strong hearts. Through their stories, I learned more of the land than I have in any history book or newspaper. Ms. Wilson brought them, and their world beautifully into mine. Thank you, for giving me the journey.

(My only complaint was that there were no pictures in the book, but in my conversation with the author, she clued me to her website http://www.jennifer-wilson.com/. Definitely worth a look, even if you haven't read the book. Some stunning photographs and a taste of the tales of the family.)

Many thanks to LibraryThing and the publishers for sending me this book via teh Early Review program on LibraryThing.

[Carol Bakker · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was finding gratitude for what I had, rather than a low simmer of anguish over what I didn't.

I was inclined to like this book before I started reading. Travel memoirs are one of my favorite genres, and my brother-in-law is the son of Croatian immigrants. I enjoyed reading about the joys and frustrations of adapting to a different culture.

People stared at us.
We stared back.
Something struck me during all this staring.
There wasn't anything menacing about it.
We were just getting used to each other.
If I was going to meet my goal of becoming a Slavic people person,
I would have to submit to the Croatian Stare.

Most moving to me was the story of finding blind Franjo, Jennifer's grandma's cousin. When I walked into his courtyard that day, Franjo had been waiting for me. In fact, Franjo had spent his entire life waiting for family. I was the first relative who had cared enough to come back for him since the day he was deserted as a very little boy.

I found a You Tube channel (Jen Wilson) with five short videos taken around Mrkopalj.

[Meg · Rating 5 out of 5]

With my kids increasingly tolerant of Mom’s reading time, I’ve been able to devour quite a few stories recently. Jennifer Wilson’s Running Away to Home is easily my favorite of the lot — the most engaging and delightful book I’ve read in ages.

It certainly helps that I relate deeply to Jennifer: writer, wife, and mom to two young kids — a son and daughter — who, along with her husband Jim, realized that the rat-race life in suburbia was leading to stuff, but little satisfaction. Or happiness.

Armed with the limited knowledge Jennifer has of her great-grandparents, who immigrated from a small village called Mrkopalj, the Wilson-Hoff family leaves Iowa to spend four months in a town of 800 people — where everyone knows everyone, the homemade alcohol is freely flowing, and lessons about abundance, scarcity, and friendship are abundant. ...

Read the rest at write meg!

[Roseyreads · Rating 4 out of 5]

Enjoyed Jennifer Wilson's writing. Being an Iowan who has also been to Croatia, I appreciated what she and her family experienced. Many times found myself laughing aloud! "Is joke. Is Croatian joke!"

[Amy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I loved getting to know all the Mrkopalj residents and how the family became part of the community. It was hard to keep all the characters straight.

[Leah Noble · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved the meandering story, that went along one day at a time. Loved the descriptions of Croatian food, the words in a new language, the sense of a place I do not know. Couldn't always keep track of all the townspeople and characters but that was OK.

[Elizabeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the kind of memoir that you hardly notice you are reading: this is because you instantly feel immersed in the story. Wilson has such a delicate touch with her use of details, so that reading is almost like watching the story unfold out your own personal, third-story dorm window.

One of my favorite parts of the execution of this story is the use of time: the way the author bends and stretches the four-month time period of their stay to convey her own experiences with that time: so that the first few weeks of the stay are more arduous read, more trying, and move back and forth in time with more strain. But as the second half of the book approaches, and the main characters in the book progress relax into their town life, the time moves more fluidly. This use of time in the book -- whether intentional or not -- seems to reflect her own anxiety level with her ancestral town at the moment she was living it.

There is a wonderful balance between the easy sentence-level writing of the book, and the complex structure, which appears on the surface to be chronological, but really is not. At the base it is chronological, but it is more organic than that, like any regular day of events, filled with neighborly interruptions, and memories.

There is a definitive breakthrough "moment" in the book for the main character, which involves a garden and weeds, that relieves some of the tension of the beginning of the story. However, the beauty of this book is there are no real "bombshell" revelations... it is the steady pulse of the unveiling of life so similar and different from "normal" Western life that makes this story riveting. It isn't really anything that can be explained, because it has to be felt to be understood.

This book is an intensely personal, yet is one that tells a rich, universal story about connecting with family and with ourselves.

[Shrike58 · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found this somewhat comic exercise in innocents abroad quite amusing and informative, but was probably helped in this by the small matter that I'm Croatian on my mother's side; I found many of the small details quite telling (my grandfather hailed from the region in question). Still, I do tend to find myself agreeing a bit with the genealogical folks that some more preparation would have been in order but one suspects that this was not Wilson's greatest concern; getting the emotional and philosophical life of her family in order was the main point of this endeavor. Not to mention turning the lemon that was the crash of 2008 into lemonade. Good for her that it seemed to work out as well as it did. That Wilson is as self-deprecating about her own mistakes as she is adds some acid to a tale that might have otherwise turned mawkish.

Actual rating: 3.5.

Originally written: June 2, 2017.

[Brian · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a terrific, inspiring and sometimes heart-breaking journey of a story! There was so much in this book I could relate to and was inspired by. Ms. Wilson is an incredibly gifted writer to convey the emotions and details so many of us can visualize and empathize with. For us as a military family, we are always believers that "home is always where the family is." It's not a place, or a house, but instead is the dependence and love of your family.

Being from central Iowa as well--and someone that has visited Croatia only VERY BRIEFLY (when the ship pulled into Split for a 4 day visit)--this story was such a treat for me as well. I felt I almost knew her personally from all the little details about Iowa.

Thanks so much to the author for sending me a signed copy as well. I enjoyed the journey!

Zivjeli!

[Biblio-files · Rating 5 out of 5]

Though I know this family personally, even strangers won't be able to resist their charms as each character unfolds on the page. I connected immediately with Jen's desire for something more at a certain point in her life. Something more for her and for her family. Told with a journalist's curiosity and a reporter's skill, the story of the foursome's adventure to connect with Jen's ancestors is packed with wit, surprise, and discovery. I recommend this book to anyone who is looking for a passenger-side seat next to this adventure-seeking, world traveling family who found that home--even as far away as Croatia--is a lot closer than they thought.

The book is out October 2011 and available for pre-order NOW! Run, don't walk, to your nearest indie bookstore to order your copy.

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

I can finally understand my friend's jokes about her Croation in-laws! I really enjoyed reading about the author's struggles and joys in adapting to a different culture and stripping her family's life down to the core of what's important. It also made me really wonder for the first time what it was that drove my own ancestors to leave Germany, France, England, Canada... and what that has meant for me and this nation of immigrants.

[Freda Mans-Labianca · Rating 2 out of 5]

I want to like this book. I like the family it's based around. I love that the parents too their children to one of their ancestral homelands', wanting to know more about where they come from. I just felt that this book had no WOW. I wasn't floored by anything. Nothing was exciting. Everything was just okay. It is someones' life. It's their story, and I appreciate it, it just isn't one I'm gonna talk about tomorrow.


2.5/5

[Allie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a delightful book. I enjoyed tagging along on Jennifer Wilson's journey to her ancestral village in Croatia, learning some Croatian words, meeting many quirky characters along the way and seeing how the experienced changed the author and her family. This is a warm, funny memoir with beautiful writing.

[Ellen · Rating 4 out of 5]

My rating is closer to a 3 1/2. I enjoyed this book but got a little long at the end.

[Marilyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Anyone who's ever daydreamed of trading a year off to live another life elsewhere will enjoy this. Especially if that dream is of a simpler life.

While I found the history and descriptions of Croatia interesting, having visited there, I was quite absorbed in thinking about the internal adjustment you'd have, especially with a young family of 4 and 5 suitcases of stuff to last the year. Living in the village was culture shock, especially for the author, who says that in the U.S., "Jim & I rarely spent time alone without distraction and without the aid of a TV. I actually felt awkward. I suppressed an urge to find something to busy myself. Imagine having all the uninterrupted time in the world. On the one hand, it feels liberating. On the other, it eliminates everything you've built around yourself that distracts you from, well, you." For her husband, cooking and taking care of the children, it bothered him that "people openly wondered why he was living the life of a Croatian woman."

At first, she tried to figure everything out (read control) in order to enjoy it. Whereas her family adapted quicker, it took her a long time to gain perspective. "Wherever we are together, that's what home is." Eventually they basked in "the extravagance of simplicity and the kindness of our neighbors."

"Our outlook had changed so much that (they) wondered how we would return to a place where people had everything and appreciated so little." Learning her family history in its homeland, and discovering the sacrifices of her ancestors must have triggered a powerful way to live forward with gratitude.

[Alyssa Ivankovich · Rating 3 out of 5]

As an Iowan and Croatian myself, I felt connected to Wilson and could imagine the mrkopalj village . She travels there back in circa 2008, so this was before smart phones really took off and unlimited data, so I would like to think how her experience to Mrkopalj would be now , with all her resources more accessible . I felt connected a lot to her family, and felt sad when the book ended. I wanted to see the many pictures Jim took, but I could not find a website showcasing their travel pictures. I still have many questions from the book, and felt the book could have been longer .

The best part of the story was when they met Franz. I think that was the best part of the story. But near the end of the book when Jen was offered to eat an “edible rodent,” that part grossed me out. Why would she pet a dead animal with mites on it? I’ve never eaten any rodents as a Croatian, and I feel this was just gross. Were the people trolling the Wilson family by presenting this rodent as real food ? Anyways…..it was not a pleasant part to read so I removed a star. I also wish she wrote more about her Iowa history and her Iowa family, and her memories with them and how it all relates to her Croatian ancestors .

[Greg Schloesser · Rating 4 out of 5]

Jennifer Wilson and her family actually did what many folks dream of: leave behind their hectic life and move to a small village in Europe. Well, at least I dream of doing that!

The author's roots are in Croatia, and she longed to trace her family's history and learn more about her ancestors' lives. After a small visit to the tiny, remote Croatian village of Mrkopalj, she and her husband opted to leave behind their busy American life and move to the village for many months. Their family, which included two young children, experienced the expected culture shock, and at first doubted their decision. Eventually, however, they came to know many of the villagers and became part of the small village culture and life.

Wilson concentrates on telling her story through the everyday experiences she and her family had in the village, as well as the interactions they had with its residents. These stories are real and truly bring village life -- and their experiences in it -- to life. By the end of the book, she developed a much better appreciation of her roots and made those sought-after connections.

This is a good and sometimes emotional read. I smiled ... and envied her ... often.

[Cathy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I finished this book just in time for our trip to Croatia this afternoon. :-) In this book, Jennifer Wilson takes her family (husband Jim and two young kids, Zadie and Sam) from their home in Iowa to the mountain town of Mrkopalj, the land of Jennifer's ancestors. For several months, they stay in a kind of dorm room on the top floor of heavy-drinking Robert's house. Jennifer is trying to find out the story of her family and spends her time writing, researching her very confusing family tree, and making friends with the people of the village. I could certainly understand Jennifer's confusion over her extensive and elusive genealogy, with numerous cousins once and twice removed; she searched for the homes of her ancestors only to find them demolished, their elusive grave sites, and their places in the Book of Names. The family made the most of their time in the village and made deep ties with people who had been through many conflicts and upheavals over generations. Overall, it was an interesting story capturing a time and place in Croatia, but sometimes got bogged down in too many details about the family tree.

[Sarah Hrusovsky · Rating 5 out of 5]

180
jennifer wilson
rd dreamed of this trip as an escape when we were back home
But life follows us everywhere. I could be as restless in Croatia as, was in lowa. Jim was still a mother hen. The kids were still four and seven. Parenthood still had a tendency to trump romance. The leson sank in as the sun set: You can't run from those things that make up the very fabric of your life -even if you change the scenery. You just have to ride the waves. Roll with it.
The sea had smoothed into a mirror, reflecting a pink sky. The entire stretch took on a rose and gold cast. Jim snapped a photo of me as I walked.
"You've been in such a rotten mood all day," he said. Then he flipped to the image and showed me. "But you look really peaceful in this one. And pretty. Then again, I always think you're pretty." I bumped him with my hip. It was only a glimpse of the boyfriend married, but it would do. In his photo, I really did appear more calm nd free than I'd felt for a long time.
As we drove home, I kept my eyes on the Velebit mountains, ere the world's largest hole gaped in the darkness. Both Zadie and berta snuggled against Ivana's shoulders. Sam played out the Sir
• Battle of Endor under his breath.
When we left the island road and hit the straight-on highway

[Darlene Ahlberg · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jennifer made me feel like I was right there experiencing everything right along side her. I will admit, it could be partly because I can relate to most of what she experienced. I also have family who I met for the first time when I visited my mother’s homeland and small mountain village in Croatia that very same year. But I think anyone who loves to travel, loves to learn about other cultures, or is an overwhelmed parent with overstimulated children, will find Jennifer’s escape to a simpler life enjoyable reading. Every time I picked up the book, I couldn’t wait to learn more about her journey. The people were skillfully brought to life and I felt like I knew them. I was sad when I finished the book; each evening I’d pick up the book and it felt like I was returning to the
Village to hang out with “my” friends, and now I miss it. Thanks for sharing your story, Jennifer! I loved it!

[Annie Allen · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book. It's a story about one woman's courage to uproot her family from the USA to a small town in Croatia to look for her family roots. And while she spends a year in Croatia, she learns a lot about herself - insecurities, habits, expectations - and in turn, what's important to her. A lot of us get caught up in the American culture of stress and fast-paced family life full of school assignments & fundraisers, sports, work obligations, etc. and the idea of a year abroad sounds like a delicious escape. Living in the Croatian culture through her book lens offers a fresh perspective on how to live a slow-paced life and got me wondering if such a life is possible in the United States. That being said, while her small Croatian town and its residents felt like family by the end of the book, the reader can't help see some of the not-so-rosy parts of the culture and "slow life".

[chai · Rating 2 out of 5]

collecting my thoughts because it is important to me - I trudged along for most parts of this book and at many points the sentiment seemed bizarre and entitled to me.

I get it, I did not have to read it if I wasn't liking it. but I was using the book as a medium to gather some semblance of the place I was visiting. and of the place, I learned a great deal.

the personal touch to the story was also somewhat effective - I teared up towards the end thinking about how the local townspeople put so much thought into bidding their guests farewell.

what makes me slightly furious is that someone would think they can intrude their way into their idea of an exotic village life and then just up and leave to pursue their "real" shiny privileged lives back home having learnt an important lesson on gratitude. it's just a little bit shitty to me idk.

[Molly Hogan]

With a trip planned to Croatia and Slovenia this spring, I was excited to read this book. I really wanted to like it. There were some funny parts and some interesting details, but overall I just couldn't connect. I never understood the author's compulsion to get back to her roots and that missing piece felt like it should have been the heart of the book--the part that tied it all together. Without that thread running through it, the narrrative felt somewhat random and it was hard to understand the choices made by the author. I read almost half of the book, but when I realized that reading the book had begun to feel like an assignment, I opted out. I don't feel right giving a star rating when I didn't finish the book, but based on the first half and my decision to stop reading, I would have given it 2-stars.

[Jill · Rating 4 out of 5]

Enjoyable book. Author has an engaging, humorous style. I was never bored reading it, but it wasn't a page turner--kind of book you can put down for a few days then pick back up. Made you think about American life and what we have and don't have in comparison to Croatia. I was struck by how friendly and accepting the people were--how Jennifer's family got to know so many people and became part of the community so quickly. Was it because of the country, because it was a small town or both? I wonder if someone who moved from Croatia to a small town in America would feel equally connected and welcome. I would have liked to learn more about their subsequent travels in Europe and especially what it felt like to return to the states.

[Whitney Hansen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Started this book 6 months or so before visiting Croatia for the first time. At times it felt slow and I had a hard time picking it back up. I finished the second half during my visit, with the last chapter sitting on a cliff on the island of Mljet. Although I did not visit the places she mentioned in the book, I enjoyed experiencing the same foods/cultural interactions she describes in the book. I also found myself reflecting on the same topics as she does as an American visiting Croatia. I loved that she helps you pronounce some of the towns/popular foods etc throughout the book. (I’d also like a recipe for Rakija!) A wonderful book to learn about Croatia from the perspective of an American - the good and the bad.

[Jim Breslin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Running Away to Home is an enjoyable read about Jennifer Wilson's search for her family roots in Croatia. She and her family move (for an extended stay) to the mountain village where her great grandmother was born. As she finds her genealogical roots, Wilson and her family decompress from their fast paced American lives and learn to slow down and enjoy Croatian simplicity. Along the way, she introduces us to the villagers and Croatian culture, which is intermittently vexing and charming. She also provides insights into the complex history of Croatia and how wars and politics has scarred many. An interesting read for those who love travel, genealogy, and adventure.