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Expect This
Once a formally anti-kids couple decides to chuck their birth control and go for it, this mom-to-be soon learns that pregnancy isn't all about playing Mozart to your stomach and glowing. Along with relentless nausea, unleashed emotions, and interfering bystanders, Heather learns to deal with her fear; fear of her body changing, of her shifting identity, and the fear of having to be responsible for another living being.
71 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 2011
4 people are currently reading
22 people want to read
About the author
Heather Slee
3 books11 followersAuthor Heather Slee has written a short humorous memoir on pregnancy (Expect This), and her first YA novel comes out September 1, 2013. She has her BA and her MA in English. Slee currently lives in Bellingham, WA.
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Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
September 10, 2013
Heather Slee’s conversion from noncommittally childless to adoring mother in her pregnancy memoir “Expect This” is a mirthful promenade through a practically universal rite even a woman who’s never yearned to spawn can enjoy.
Slee’s snark reminds me of “Bitter is the New Black’s” Jen Lancaster, whose memoirs make “LOL” a literal concept instead of just a lazy text message. But Slee’s humor isn’t as mean as Lancaster can be at her most sarcastic. Even Slee’s antagonists such as George, Slee’s opinionated co-worker, or Liz, the bitchy nurse, aren’t skewered.
Slee mines for humor in embarrassing situations like peeing into a cup or in her own insecurities: “You can’t predict what a child will take to heart. You can tell them a thousand times that doing drugs is bad, and wind up finding a giant bong made out of a plastic dinosaur in their closet.”
Besides humor, Slee uses language beautifully: “I wanted simplicity. Old fashioned wooden blocks that became ominous, mysterious castles. Non-battery-powered stuffed animals that became magical confidants. Dandelions that became bracelets and rings.”
As a biologically childless woman, I have no time for women who describe in excruciating detail a biological process that’s been executed billions of times since the Cro-Magnons as the single greatest accomplishment of their entire lives; honestly, I think I have greater bragging rights for resisting my maternal instinct. Slee describes — in vivid detail — her labor and delivery but unlike some horror stories of childbirth I’ve been subject to, Slee’s description is more clinical (and funny) and less like an entry for the motherhood medal of valor. After having witnessed my sister’s deliveries, I found Slee’s inside-out perspective interesting and insightful.
“Expect This” is set in Minnesota, which always gets props from me, a Minnesota native. Minnesotans are a little like the Eskimos who according to legend have 200 words for snow, and Slee delivers with a descriptions like “lazy snow” that “zigzags gently down in no particular direction or hurry” and snowflakes blowing “toward the windshield as if they were stars and we were flying through space.”
Slee’s book is an amusing treasure for readers thinking about having children, women who are already pregnant or outliers like me who prefer to keep their encounters with pregnancy in the literary realm.
Slee’s snark reminds me of “Bitter is the New Black’s” Jen Lancaster, whose memoirs make “LOL” a literal concept instead of just a lazy text message. But Slee’s humor isn’t as mean as Lancaster can be at her most sarcastic. Even Slee’s antagonists such as George, Slee’s opinionated co-worker, or Liz, the bitchy nurse, aren’t skewered.
Slee mines for humor in embarrassing situations like peeing into a cup or in her own insecurities: “You can’t predict what a child will take to heart. You can tell them a thousand times that doing drugs is bad, and wind up finding a giant bong made out of a plastic dinosaur in their closet.”
Besides humor, Slee uses language beautifully: “I wanted simplicity. Old fashioned wooden blocks that became ominous, mysterious castles. Non-battery-powered stuffed animals that became magical confidants. Dandelions that became bracelets and rings.”
As a biologically childless woman, I have no time for women who describe in excruciating detail a biological process that’s been executed billions of times since the Cro-Magnons as the single greatest accomplishment of their entire lives; honestly, I think I have greater bragging rights for resisting my maternal instinct. Slee describes — in vivid detail — her labor and delivery but unlike some horror stories of childbirth I’ve been subject to, Slee’s description is more clinical (and funny) and less like an entry for the motherhood medal of valor. After having witnessed my sister’s deliveries, I found Slee’s inside-out perspective interesting and insightful.
“Expect This” is set in Minnesota, which always gets props from me, a Minnesota native. Minnesotans are a little like the Eskimos who according to legend have 200 words for snow, and Slee delivers with a descriptions like “lazy snow” that “zigzags gently down in no particular direction or hurry” and snowflakes blowing “toward the windshield as if they were stars and we were flying through space.”
Slee’s book is an amusing treasure for readers thinking about having children, women who are already pregnant or outliers like me who prefer to keep their encounters with pregnancy in the literary realm.
January 29, 2013
My first pregnancy related book that is not a "how to". It seems many pregnant women are experience the same thing. Very funny book and kind of reflects how I'm currently feeling.
March 4, 2020
At least she didn't smoke in the delivery room.
How's this for irony? This is the story of a woman who decides to have a baby. The author (having suffered through years of nosy, judgmental on-lookers commenting on the fact that she and her husband were still childless) gets pregnant. She then discovers that pregnancy makes a woman's body and life choices public property. Most of her narrative concerns the indignities of relatives, friends, co-workers, and perfect strangers making very personal remarks, offering unwanted advice, and demanding information which they shouldn't logically even be interested in.
She's very entertaining about it and I agree with her completely. I'm appalled that strangers feel free to touch a pregnant woman's belly or offer advice or ask nosy questions. Still, I kept thinking, "She smoked her last cigarette while she was waiting for the pregnancy test results!" "Her husband smokes and she isn't concerned about that!" "Her father puts down his cigarette to criticize her choice of baby names and she's not worried about him inflicting second-hand smoke on her kid!" "'Her pathetic thirty-something friends hang out like teens guzzling beer and she doesn't realize the wisdom of dumping them for people who've actually grown up!" OK, I guess I'm doing it.
These are NOT poor, uneducated people who figure they might as well smoke themselves to death because their lives suck anyway. Does health information just not get to Minnesota?
The author married young and for the first decade, she and her husband were determined not to become parents. Both her mother (a drama queen) and her mother-in-law (the only normal sounding person in the book) hinted about grandchildren, although I can't imagine why they felt it was a good idea for their off-spring to breed. All family conversations seem to center around how awful children are. Why not let the line die out and be done with it?
For some reason not fully explained, the author and her husband decided to have a baby. Instead of going off birth-control pills and using some other form of contraceptive for several months (as doctors strongly recommend) she went off the pill and got pregnant immediately. She stopped smoking and drinking alcohol AFTER she learned she was pregnant. He husband drank and smoked while they were trying to get pregnant. Good thing the condition of the sperm has nothing to do with the child's health, isn't it? Look. I'm doing it again!
Pregnancy hormones coupled with her already unstable personality to create some scenes that made me glad I was nowhere around. She got into a screaming match with her awful sister over discipline methods, threatening to NEVER allow her sister to baby-sit. It didn't sound to me like the sister had any interest in the kid at all, so why argue?
She writes well. There were a couple of howlers ("formally" for "formerly") but most of her narrative is well-written and sometimes very witty. I was interested in the newer methods of prenatal care and delivery. She's no one I'd want to spend time with or be related to, but I enjoyed the book. I hope she writes a follow-up. This one ends with the birth of her daughter. I'd like to hear how child-raising, her marriage, relatives, job, etc. went for her. Her self-absorption and self-pity aren't appealing, but she IS funny and observant. She has the makings of a good writer.
How's this for irony? This is the story of a woman who decides to have a baby. The author (having suffered through years of nosy, judgmental on-lookers commenting on the fact that she and her husband were still childless) gets pregnant. She then discovers that pregnancy makes a woman's body and life choices public property. Most of her narrative concerns the indignities of relatives, friends, co-workers, and perfect strangers making very personal remarks, offering unwanted advice, and demanding information which they shouldn't logically even be interested in.
She's very entertaining about it and I agree with her completely. I'm appalled that strangers feel free to touch a pregnant woman's belly or offer advice or ask nosy questions. Still, I kept thinking, "She smoked her last cigarette while she was waiting for the pregnancy test results!" "Her husband smokes and she isn't concerned about that!" "Her father puts down his cigarette to criticize her choice of baby names and she's not worried about him inflicting second-hand smoke on her kid!" "'Her pathetic thirty-something friends hang out like teens guzzling beer and she doesn't realize the wisdom of dumping them for people who've actually grown up!" OK, I guess I'm doing it.
These are NOT poor, uneducated people who figure they might as well smoke themselves to death because their lives suck anyway. Does health information just not get to Minnesota?
The author married young and for the first decade, she and her husband were determined not to become parents. Both her mother (a drama queen) and her mother-in-law (the only normal sounding person in the book) hinted about grandchildren, although I can't imagine why they felt it was a good idea for their off-spring to breed. All family conversations seem to center around how awful children are. Why not let the line die out and be done with it?
For some reason not fully explained, the author and her husband decided to have a baby. Instead of going off birth-control pills and using some other form of contraceptive for several months (as doctors strongly recommend) she went off the pill and got pregnant immediately. She stopped smoking and drinking alcohol AFTER she learned she was pregnant. He husband drank and smoked while they were trying to get pregnant. Good thing the condition of the sperm has nothing to do with the child's health, isn't it? Look. I'm doing it again!
Pregnancy hormones coupled with her already unstable personality to create some scenes that made me glad I was nowhere around. She got into a screaming match with her awful sister over discipline methods, threatening to NEVER allow her sister to baby-sit. It didn't sound to me like the sister had any interest in the kid at all, so why argue?
She writes well. There were a couple of howlers ("formally" for "formerly") but most of her narrative is well-written and sometimes very witty. I was interested in the newer methods of prenatal care and delivery. She's no one I'd want to spend time with or be related to, but I enjoyed the book. I hope she writes a follow-up. This one ends with the birth of her daughter. I'd like to hear how child-raising, her marriage, relatives, job, etc. went for her. Her self-absorption and self-pity aren't appealing, but she IS funny and observant. She has the makings of a good writer.
March 31, 2014
Quick and entertaining read
As a pregnant woman in her second trimester, I enjoyed reading this very personal take on one woman's pregnancy. It was very heartfelt and at times funny book.
As a pregnant woman in her second trimester, I enjoyed reading this very personal take on one woman's pregnancy. It was very heartfelt and at times funny book.
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews