Creating Your Perfect Family Size: How to Make an Informed Decision About Having a Baby

by Alan J. Singer

Answers to one of the most important decision a family can make This groundbreaking book offers answers to crucial questions that have a large impact on family success and well-being. The author has been researching and treating couples for more than twenty years, addressing such critical issues as: When should you have kids? How many and why? Can you afford a family? What's the best interval between children's birth in a family? How does your work life influence how many kids to have? What's the impact of divorce, remarriage and blended families on the decision to have more kids? How does your family of origin, ethnicity, race, culture, and sexual preference influence the choices you have regarding these questions of number and spacing of childbirths.

Filled with common sense advice for the dilemmas most couples grapple with when starting a family Based on solid research from a noted family therapist Alan Singer has appeared on the Fox Morning News and MSNBC as well as being quoted in USA Today and The Huffington Post Invaluable and fascinating, the book includes a wealth of self-tests that helps individuals to customize their own decision making based on their unique background and current situation.

Genres: Nonfiction, Parenting

192 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2011

Reviews

[Kristina]

This book is a good, short look at different thought processes that go into having a family. The author presents many things to think about when making such a weighty decision. Some may say that this is common sense, that people don't need a book to tell them to consider these things before bringing another life into the world, but I disagree. If this stuff was common sense there would be less unwanted children in the world, probably less divorce and child abuse. It definitely got me thinking about my motivations, wants and thoughts about having a child.

[Pia Bröker]

I did not read it thoroughly but had a look at the self assessment parts and some stories. I tried to read it from a feminist perspective and didn't really think about me personally which is why I left more confused than I arrived. Growing up is weird, I am really not ready yet!...

This book gives a good overview of different considerations one should make before having a baby.
I missed a part about alternative family concepts. I also wanted more information on what could go wrong and when it is important to get professional help rather than "everything will be fine somehow as long as you talk it through".
The author tried to be nonjudgmental about some aspects and incorporated scientific background which I appreciate. I sometimes wished for more in depth considerations and clear advice.

[McKenzie Richardson]

For more bookish opinions, visit my blog: Craft-Cycle

Well written. The information is fairly basic but it provides a good starting place when thinking about having (more) children.

I did really like the perspective of not rigidly sticking to a specific number, but continually assessing your situation and making an informed choice on whether to grow your family.

Some things felt a bit dated but overall it's a good place to start when considering whether to have your first child or have more children. A nice way to help organize your thoughts before you make a decision.

Includes topics such as motivations to have children, timing, focusing on your relationship with your partner, family size, and traditions.

Throughout the book are Self-Tests with topics covered in the chapter. These tests are combined at the end. Provides a nice way to reflect on the information and discuss with your partner.

[Lauren Read]

I picked up this book for the self-tests, consulted the table of contents and breezed through two sections, then decided 'why not' and read the remainder of this quick, to-the-point book. It's best for organizing the thoughts and information you likely already have and encouraging you to reflect with your partner. It's a useful tool of discernment, reminding us that the only exhaustive tool is within ourselves and that any decision should not be based on a set number or preconceived goal.

[Sarah]

I made myself finish it. I kept waiting for that aha moment, but there was none. This was basically just an education about different family sizes and statistics on the same. I felt as if everything I read, I already thought about/realized. Was not very helpful to figure out the question of having more kids or not.

[Shandus]

Reading it gave me some good questions to think about, but overall the content was fairly shallow and didn't give me any brilliant insights I hadn't already thought about myself.