Nad trumną. Wyznania pracowników branży pogrzebowej

by Ken McKenzie, Todd Harra, Tomasz Sobczak (Narrator)

„Wszystko szło zgodnie z planem, dopóki trumna nie dotarła do drugiego rzędu ławek, licząc od frontu. Rozbrzmiało wówczas głośne, złowieszcze trzeszczenie, po czym dno trumny zwyczajnie wypadło. Razem z ojcem Iggym”.

Od strzelanin na pogrzebach po krzyki nieboszczyków i uciekające zwłoki – pracownicy branży pogrzebowej mają wiele niezwykłych historii do opowiedzenia. W tej zarówno makabrycznej, jak i zaskakująco zabawnej książce dzielą się najbardziej żenującymi, zdumiewającymi, niepoważnymi, ale też głęboko przejmującymi opowieściami o życiu w ciągłym towarzystwie zmarłych. Poznaj błędy debiutantów i dowiedz się, dlaczego zwłoki czasem potrzebują taśmy klejącej.

Grabarze wiedzą jedno na pewno – śmierć sprawia, że ludzie zaczynają robić szalone rzeczy. W tym reportażu zebrano najlepsze historie w dorobku przedsiębiorców pogrzebowych z USA.

Genres: Nonfiction, Humor, Death, Audiobook, Memoir, Science, Medical

8 pages, Audiobook

First published May 27, 2014

About the author

Kenneth McKenzie became interested in becoming a mortician at the age of 12 when his father committed suicide. Working with grieving families came very natural to him, but he was uncomfortable with high funeral costs.
After eight years at a Lakewood, California mortuary, in 1994 he opened McKenzie Cremation & Burial Services in Signal Hill, California and halved the price of funerals. He shares his services by donating three percent of his professional service charge to the families’ charity.
McKenzie gives back to the community by sponsoring annual holiday food drives and summer estate sales that directly benefit people who receive care at local cash-crunched hospices.

Also credited as Kenneth McKenzie.

Reviews

[Petra X · Rating 3 out of 5]

I listened to this. The narrator is so gay, such a camp voice, it really lightens the subject especially when he talks about the Morticians' Calender. Naked funeral director bodybuilders nonetheless! I wish I had a copy.

The author too is gay, very handsome and looks so San Francisco it's untrue so the camp narrator is appropriate. I've just uploaded an author picture, very drool-worthy and he can write.

Or at least he could write the first half of the book which was very good. A light, entertaining 4-star read. There was nothing revelatory about the book, no lifting the lid on any arcane procedures that I was hoping but there were a lot of odd and earnest anecdotes, so I liked it.

The second half is full of anecdotes, often very lame and neither entertaining nor informational derived from such sources as "a blogger" and people with odd screen names (like us, well me anyway). They are read by many different voices and this half of the book earns 2 stars, at best. 1.5 really.

What I didn't like about the book in probably too much detail, a bit ranty maybe.

What I didn't like was the absolute justification for the extremely high charges that funeral directors make off other people's misery, confusion and inexperience with their fake commiseration and identification with each and every customer. Everyone who wanted to save money was belittled and every reason for expensive procedures and caskets was given.

The US funeral industry is only such a rich one because of open-coffins. To me these are disgusting and creepy. When my mother-in-law died and I had to sit in the pew right next to the coffin and saw her lying there with make-up on (she never wore make-up) and her large, capable black hands now all ashy manipulated around a teeny prayer book, it just looked like a travesty of her. There was a fly buzzing around, it landed on her eyelid, walked all over her face, disappeared briefly into her ear, it was awful. There was no good reason to show such disrespect.

Except that is how the American funeral business makes its money. Open coffins require embalmers, make-up artists, fancy caskets, viewing sessions and other expensive (always expensive) services from the mortician. A funeral, the consigning of a body to the ground perhaps with a religious service, has been turned into a Social Event that requires major planning and time for people to mark their calendars. This does not apply to Muslims and Jews who have only the religious element and not the social one, or at least the social one is part of the religious one in that people gather together. That part is organised by the people themselves - no catered refreshments afterwards even - and therefore not billable and so of no interest to funeral directors.

In the UK, there is no tradition of open coffins, so cheaper funerals are possible, but the morticians are good at playing on grief and what you need for a proper send off, so they are still expensive. There is a move towards more green funerals, burials in cardboard coffins, woven reeds, bamboo and papiere mache. These are much cheaper. People don't want expensive flowers or long processions of horses or hearses, nor viewings, just a simple, heartfelt ceremony, often just at the graveside.

My niece died of uterine cancer a few years ago, the week before her little boy's fourth birthday. Her father buried her in a grass-woven casket under a huge spreading tree in the graveyard and then there were refreshments back at his house. From the money he saved by planning the funeral himself, he was able to give a very large sum to charity, to research into cancer towards helping end this dreadful disease. I'm not saying that those who want a huge spectacle with people coming from near and far should be dissuaded at all. But that they shouldn't be guilted into it either, which is what funeral directors specialise in. About a month after my niece died there was a memorial service for her life, again organised by her father and catered for by the family. It suited them, a low-key funeral where they very deep in their grief and something planned for friends and distant family at a time when a lot of people who loved her could attend.

The author didn't have enough material for a whole book. He should have waited until he had rather than fill the second half with guff. The book is precisely 2.75 stars, a bit below I liked it, more it was all right. On GR, that's 3 stars.

The best book on funeral directors, one which the author refers to and not in a good way, lol, is Jessica Mitford's The American Way of Death Revisited. Genius book.

[Montzalee Wittmann · Rating 3 out of 5]

Over Our Dead Bodies: Undertakes Lift the Lid
By Ken McKenzie and Tod Harra
This is a book about various undertaker stories that are true but strange that have happened. Some are really strange due to unexpected issues or problems and others are just dumb luck! Others, I would say it's the dumb family! I would think being an undertaker would be a quiet job but apparently I was wrong! Entertaining!

[J.M. · Rating 4 out of 5]

In another life, I would've liked to be a funeral director, so this book is right up my alley. This collection of anecdotes and insider information about the daily happenings behind the scenes at mortuaries around the US is humorous while retaining the quiet dignity we associate with death. A must read for anyone interested -- or the morbidly curious, like me.

[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting.

Each chapter is an anecdote or story about life in the funeral business. As someone who was raised in a funeral home, I could relate to most of what was said in this book.

However, as with most things that I read, I did learn a couple of things. For instance, in the olden days, when the hearse was pulled by horses, dark horses (brown or black) signified the death of a man, while white horses signified the death of a woman or child.

Also, although I did know that cremation is on the rise in the US, and that its popularity can vary widely, depending on what region of the country you live in. The authors, here state that the funeral establishment has to adapt to the times to survive. And, who knows what the next big trend might be. What I did not know is that something called alkaline hydrolysis, which is using chemicals to reduce remains to nothing, has caused "quite the stir in Ohio recently." I've NEVER heard of this!

The whole chapter called "Cremation and the Goat" was most interesting. I never really thought about it, but if you are planning on getting cremated, you need to have a plan for what to do with your ashes. It really hit home after reading this story: Jane Doe's great-great-grandniece's husband is cleaning out the basement and pulls out an unmarked urn, blows the dust off it, and gives it a puzzled look (and maybe a shake to determine the contents) and then yells, "Hon, what the hell is this?" Answer: "Oh, I think my mother told me this is my great-grandmother's cousin, who she called Sissy-Mitt." "Do we have to keep them?" the husband asks.

That is no way to treat someone's remains. The authors say: "When in doubt, bury them, scatter them, make them part of a coral reef, or shoot them to the moon. But do something with them!

So, why do people choose to cremate?

Supposedly, it's more earth friendly than burial, but the fact is that a retort (the name for the actual combustion chamber) use a lot of fuel during the cremation process. A retort can run off of a number of different fuels including natural gas, liquid propane, or diesel A natural gas burning unit is going to burn somewhere to the tune of two million BTUs an hour (and possibly more if the state requires a preheat burner in the unit). To break it down: a retort is going to use roughly the amount of natural gas it would take to heat the average-sized single family home during winter for two weeks for ONE cremation, about 30-40 cubic feet of fuel.

On the flip side, they don't pollute. A modern unit will emit less pollution particulate matter in a month than an average fast-food restaurant chimney will emit in a day.

It's often easier & cheaper to cremate, but it's death. Should it really be this easy?

[Kasia (kasikowykurz) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutnie świetne!

To zbiór historii opowiedzianych głównie przez właścicieli zakładów pogrzebowych, przy których nie raz się uśmiechałam jak głupia. Choć miejsce dość makabryczne, to jednak większa część historii jest naprawdę zabawna i widać, że pracujący tam ludzie mają dużo dystansu, humoru i naprawdę lubią swoją pracę! Jest kilka smutniejszych historii, jest kilka takich, przy których przecieracie oczy ze zdumienia i jest też mnóstwo ciekawych rzeczy, których nikt nigdy nie powiedział głośno. Dla m nieświetna pozycja, choć tak różna od tego, po co sięgam na codzień i wybrałam ją spontanicznie, to jestem zachwycona i poproszę więcej takich książek!

[beti_czyta · Rating 2 out of 5]

Do odsłuchania i zapomnienia ;-)
Może ze dwa opowiadania godne uwagi. W jednym "wrzeszczący" zmarły ;-) .
Reszta taka sobie. Tej branży pogrzebowej w tych opowiadaniach mało, bardzo mało.

[za_pomniane · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 ⭐

[D · Rating 2 out of 5]

meh

This book sounded interesting, but I'm guessing you have to have read the authors' previous book to really get this one. It is more of a story about their personal lives than about their jobs or how it impacts them

[Vince · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.9/5⭐

[Dawn · Rating 2 out of 5]

I thought it would be funnier.

[Ver · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book describes the American undertakers industry. We can learn that is not an easy job as the employees have to be on-call all the time, some people even live in the funeral home so that they can travel to customers quickly. Some stories were pretty plain at the beginning but later the book got more interesting, especially with the cases of weird customers, moving dead bodies or mistakes with the bodies. There were stories from several different people, with different perspectives. I can say the book was easy and fast to read, or listen in my case.

[Filip · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some of the stories were quite amusing, some rather boring. I didn't really feel the uniqueness of the industry in question when I was reading (well listening to) this book, but maybe that's the point. It only sounds unique to those of us who don't work in this line of work, for those in it, it's job as any other.

[Michelle · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book seemed to be all over the place. I was expecting the authors to talk about their own personal experience, which they did, somewhat in a weird kinda way. What I was not expecting were anecdotes from other morticians. They were nameless and I'm not really sure how they fit into the book, who they were, or why. Did the authors know them? Were they friends? Were they picked from a contest? Just no context at all. The rest of the book was all over the place too. I think I'll pass on his other books.

[A Voracious Reader (a.k.a. Carol) · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5

*Book source ~ A review copy was provided in exchange for an honest review.

Not one to read non-fiction very often a book in this genre has to catch my interest. Needless to say, a book about undertakers and purporting to be humorous did just that. When I first saw the title I thought it would be a mystery. However, when I read the blurb and saw what it was really about, I knew I just had to read it. I’m so glad I did. I knew very little about the world of funeral directors and such, but this book is loaded with info about the business as well as mostly humorous stories about things that can go wrong or even go right. There are also some more poignant stories but for the most part this book had me smiling, snorting, giggling and outright laughing at various points.

I’ve attempted to pick a favorite and it’s hard to do. Though I will say Chapter 8: Cremation and the Goat made me cringe, but not for reasons you may think, Chapter 13: Epitaph has had me thinking for days now and Chapter 17: Ouija gave me goosebumps.

I recommend this for anyone with a curious mind and a sense of humor.

[Ria_Karou · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5

[Janice Richardson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book made for a delicious read. As a former funeral director, I was there, in my minds eye, in the stories. I laughed until the tears came when the director, concerned about the pallbearers at the graveside, fell in. The squirrel in the casket spray had me squeaking with laughter.
The second chapter, about why one would choose funeral service and what it means to serve families was impeccably and beautifully written. The importance of grief, remembering a life lived was explained with clarity. The cultural differences between parts of the country were interesting, the terminology was different. Hearse vs. funeral coach, cremains for cremated remains, crematory for crematorium. Yet the common thread, the service performed by the undertaker (funeral director) is the same. Great storytelling and insight into the profession.

[Assayah · Rating 2 out of 5]

Nie wiem co o niej myśleć, bo większości historii już nie pamiętam (mimo że słuchałam tego nawet dzisiaj). Niektóre wydawały mi się bez żadnego morału czy przekazu, było trochę zabawnych, smutnych i żenujących, ale żadna z nich nie zwróciła mojej szczególnej uwagi.

[Judith · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read it on Hoopla. It's a fun read, not something to read in one sitting, but snippets you can pick up when you have just a few minutes. Funeral directors are really regular people, with a specific calling to care for families during a loved one's death. In this book (the second, but I read this one first), we get to know more about the authors, the stories are more in context, and we get the more entrepreneurial side of the business.

Reflectively, it made me think of death and how very little we talk about it. It may be a bit morbid, but in a strange way it is also comforting to be able to discuss it freely.

[Koren · Rating 3 out of 5]

Kind of interesting. Not really any 'wow' moments but a quick read.

[Marcelina · Rating 5 out of 5]

4,5

[shoshano · Rating 2 out of 5]

Liczyłam na coś zupełnie innego, strasznie się rozczarowałam

[Amanda · Rating 2 out of 5]

I thought this would be a book on mortuaries and what they did, but this was a book about his own mortuary and some stories. They didn’t feel authentic. I was looking for a book on the process and this wasn’t it.

[Jeri Linzmeyer · Rating 3 out of 5]

Pretty interesting take on the funeral business. The stories of actual funerals and where some of the customs originated are very intriguing.

[Susan John · Rating 1 out of 5]

Serious meh. The undertakers involved really didn't seem to do much thinking about the strangeness of what they do and instead embraced their awards and whatnot. Couldn't slog through it.

[Penelope · Rating 3 out of 5]

MY RATING GUIDE: 3 Stars. I found some antidotes informative or amusing; others more forgettable. Overall, I was hoping for more stories directly tied to the business of undertaking (and mortuary science) rather than some of the side topics included.
1= dnf/What was that?; 2= Nope, not for me; 3= THIS WAS CUTE/OKAY; 3.5= I enjoyed it; 4= I liked it a lot; 5= I Loved it, it was great! (I seldom give 5 Stars).

Comments ~
OVER OUR DEAD BODIES is a compilation of a variety of stories from undertakers across the country. Some antidotes pertain closely to the profession, others not so much. The latter stories (I’m guessing) were included to indicate the differences of personalities among the same profession. The overall tone in OVER OUR DEAD BODIES is light, beginning with a story that is quite hilarious, immediately snagging my attention but my interest waned in the middle and latter half as I found it more difficult to connect. I probably won’t listen to this audio again.

I purchased the audiobook of OVER OUR DEAD BODIES during a sale read. It is read by Gregory St John, BrianTroxell and Teay Kaplan. They did a nice job.

READER CAUTION ~
PROFANITY - Not that I recall.
VIOLENCE - None.
SEXUAL SITUATIONS - None.

[Nina · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some of the stories the undertakers can tell about their work are hilarious. Like the woman who wanted to be embalmed and presented at her funeral service stretched out in her recliner the way she watched TV. Or the family that got into a fist fight, destroyed all the antiques in the parlor and left blood all over the place before the police arrive to break up the riot. Or when a squirrel leapt out of a floral arrangement into the casket and caused the grieving widow to faint while screaming and pandemonium reigned among the crowd. The lead author created a Men of Mortuaries calendar to raise money for breast cancer victims (I looked it up -- they aren't all dour old men to say the least). Pretty entertaining book overall.

[Janey Glidden · Rating 5 out of 5]

One good read

I became interested in the funeral business after working as a nurse in the cardiac unit of our local hospital. Since I worked the night shift, when someone passed away my nurse partner and I would have to assist the funeral home personal that came to pick up the body. In my town we had a "white" funeral home and a "black" funeral home and we were educated on what each did to prepare the body for services. This lead to my fascination with the business. I found this book humorous and educational on the back stories of the business. I found this book very interesting.

[The Headless Horror · Rating 4 out of 5]

For anyone interested in death, funeral practices, embalming, etc. A great collection of stories from various people working in the funeral industry. Some humorous, and some thought-provoking. It really examines things people often don't think about; like funeral homes are expected to be decorated in a certain way (no cheap IKEA furniture!), the people working there gain more respect and trust if they are older rather than younger, and even how there are funeral crashers (some may even be the homeless, which is quite sad). I really enjoyed this book, and will definitely be going back to read Mortuary Confidential, which is the first book by this author.

[Suzie Quint · Rating 2 out of 5]

I can't explain why I like books like this. The only possible reason I can think of is that my first apartment was next door to a funeral home, my landlord was mortician, and my first job was as a florist (florists do a lot of funeral flowers) so I'm not at all creeped out by any of this.

That said, I lost interest in this before I was halfway through. The problem was that the "story" wasn't cohesive. The two authors switch back and forth with no warning, which had me scrambling to figure out who was talking. A pity. Because I really wanted to like this.

[Lorraine · Rating 3 out of 5]

It took me a little while to get into this book but overall it was an enjoyable, quirky read that delivered some really good insight and was thought provoking in the end. Death fascinates me, and was a new experience every time it happened while working in the hospital, it was nice reading about the end of the journey and the importance for family members to say goodbye. 3.4.

"Our dead are never dead to us, until we have forgotten them"