Becoming One: Intimacy in Marriage

by Robert F. Stahmann, Wayne R. Young, Julie G. Grover

Beyond the excitement of building a life together lies the reality that the quality of a marriage relationship is built upon physical and emotional intimacy. Too many couples begin in ignorance, not understanding their own needs or those of the person they love. Countless studies have shown that this can lead to problems and conflicts over the sexual aspects of marriage that may contribute to unhappiness and even divorce. How much better to establish a basis for open communication, unselfishness, and love by learning the facts about the differing sexual, emotional, social, and spiritual needs of men and women. Written from an LDS perspective, Becoming One offers frank, easy-to-understand information that can keep married couples on the path to a happy, fulfilling relationship--one that will serve them well throughout all the stages of their married lives.

Genres: Nonfiction, Religion, Lds, Psychology, Marriage, Self Help

114 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2004

Reviews

[Katie · Rating 5 out of 5]

My husband and I read this together for fun and because we read one like it when we were engaged and wanted to see how it compared. We have a few things we liked better in the first, but we enjoyed this one overall and even had a few things we liked better.

Our pros:
- the Church perspective
- it's short and succinct. Some other books take a long time to eventually make their (redundant) point. This one didn't.
- it's a good overview with a lot of practical information for engaged or newly married couples
- it's a very readable and conversational tone so it won't put you to sleep.

[Dail Allen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent book for newlywed couples.

[James Betts · Rating 1 out of 5]

The Author states that women can't feel arousal unless they feel love, and men can feel love unless they have sex ... and that men can't express love until they have had sex ... Not sure if this guy has any real training, but if so, I think he needs to go get an update to his 1950's training.

The idea that men need sex to feel attachment is incredibly toxic, sexist, and misogynistic. please do not read this book as a self help.

[Bethany · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very helpful

Great book that taught not only about sex but also about how to have a successful marriage in general. I am excited to apply these principles when I get married. I asked my fiancée to read it too!

[Vivian · Rating 5 out of 5]

This one is perfect for newlyweds. I wish I had read this one when I first got married. I highly recommend.

[Bonnie Jo · Rating 4 out of 5]

Older book, so I'd say it's pretty old school, but this was a great book for my fiance and I to read together and start some important conversations. Good starting point for sex ed with your partner.

[Debbie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is openly frank. But it’s also factual. Has the potential to rewind even an older marriage. Definitely one that all engaged or newly married couples should read individually and together.

[Suzanne]

It would be good for newlyweds or engaged couples to read and discuss together.

[Tanner Reeve · Rating 3 out of 5]

Swap basically each gender stereotype in here and this book was perfect for us.

Kind of kidding. Mostly not. Decent tips either way.

[Heather · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is mainly aimed at engaged LDS couples or newly married LDS couples. Though it can be helpful to people on all parts of the marriage path. It covers the topics of emotional, and physical intimacy with all the aspects of life that can effect those things. It has questions to ask yourself and your spouse, and suggestions for things to do to improve. It is easy to read and I enjoyed it.
This book is shorter than other relationship books I've read; like The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work (http://bit.ly/1RuGPW0), or And They Were Not Ashamed (http://bit.ly/1Z44C4Y), but contains the essence of those books in a more summarized way.

[Christina · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read most of this book myself, then decided it was so good that I wanted my husband to read it with me. I would recommend this to any newly married (or even engaged) couple. It is pretty short and easy to read. Some of the advice and descriptions are necessarily a bit explicit, but I didn't feel like anything was inappropriate (just embarrassing to be reading out loud).

[Dave · Rating 3 out of 5]

Reminds me of his classes at BYU - informative, dry, and yet highly-applicable. Seems more aimed for newer couples (or couples who have been married for years but have not really reached their potential). Makes a good therapy reference book to have on the office for couples working out their issues.

[Holly · Rating 4 out of 5]

I bought this book at Deseret Book as a recommendation from another book written by an LDS author, "Then Comes Marriage." I read this book before I got married and I liked that it was very informative but also appropriate and from an LDS perspective. I would only recommend this book though to engaged couples who are soon to be married or already married couples.

[Chris · Rating 3 out of 5]

I didn't realize this was a how to manual for newlyweds! I did learn a few things. The narrater's voice was soooo monotone that there were parts that were hilarious; compliments to your wife said in his monotone just made me giggle. Definitely a good book for engaged and newlywed couples to read.

[Jason · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good book. Good for those who are struggling in their relationships, soon to be married, and those who just want to make sure they are well informed. I found useful tidbits and I applaud the LDS authors to take on a topic that makes many people uncomfortable. It's also a quick read. Some parts can be skipped based on where you are at in life. Only 112 pages...you could read in an hour or two.

[Bonnie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a great book to recommend for an engaged couple, or a newlywed couple. It is short, to the point, tastefully written, and written from an LDS perspective. I had to read it for a class, but I'm glad that I read it.

[Colette · Rating 3 out of 5]

Quick, useful read. However, I feel like some of the other LDS perspective books (such as And They Were Not Ashamed and Between Husband and Wife) were more helpful. However, this book would provide a good starting point.

[Connie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a great book for newlyweds or those engaged to be married. But it also has some helpful "reminders" in the last half of the book for those that may have been married a while. Tasteful and informative and doesn't beat around the bush.

[Callie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Textbook for class

[Kristin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great for those getting married and for those who have been for awhile. Gave it to my sister and she thought it was great. It answers many questions. Easy read!

[Lindsey Nelson · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had to read this for my marriage class. It was awesome-especially for the dudes out there.

[Lynell · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good for a couple at any stage of their relationship. Super appropriate, but honest and realistic.

[Thea · Rating 4 out of 5]

Learned a lot. Definitely recommend for anyone getting married.

[Beck · Rating 3 out of 5]

The best part of this book is its length. Since it's geared toward new LDS couples who are likely virgins and in the midst of wedding planning, its clear and concise text is extremely valuable.

[Charlotte · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was ok. It's written mostly for before you get married, so there wasn't much in here for me.