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Sweet Valley Confidential: Ten Years Later
It's been ten years since the Wakefield twins graduated from Sweet Valley High, and a lot has happened.For a start, Elizabeth and Jessica have had a falling out of epic proportions, after Jessica committed the ultimate betrayal, and this time it looks like Elizabeth will never be able to forgive her.Suddenly Sweet Valley isn't big enough for the two of them, so Elizabeth has fled to New York to immerse herself in her lifelong dream of becoming a serious reporter, leaving a guilt-stricken Jessica contemplating the life without her sister.Despite the distance between them, the sisters are never far from each other's thoughts. Jessica longs for forgiveness, but Elizabeth can't forget her twin's duplicity. Uncharacteristically, she decides the only way to heal her broken heart is to get revenge. Always the 'good' twin, the one getting her headstrong sister out of trouble, Elizabeth is now about to turn the tables...
304 pages, Kindle Edition
First published April 1, 2011
142 people are currently reading
3014 people want to read
About the author
Francine Pascal
1,149 books1,853 followersFrancine Paula Pascal was an American author best known for her Sweet Valley series of young adult novels. Sweet Valley High, the backbone of the collection, was made into a television series, which led to several spin-offs, including The Unicorn Club and Sweet Valley University. Although most of these books were published in the 1980s and 1990s, they remained so popular that several titles were re-released decades later.
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April 26, 2011
"What a stupid book."
That was my initial thought after turning the final page of Sweet Valley Confidential: Ten Years Later.
As a pre-teen, I was addicted to the Sweet Valley High series, and then later, the Sweet Valley University series as well. Before that even, I had read some of the Twins and Kids series, so when I heard this was coming out last year, I just knew I had to read it. I was excited beyond compare and went into full geek-out mode. Where are the perfect size-six Wakefield twins, and their friends and enemies, now? What are their occupations? Who are they dating or who'd they marry? And my questions kept going on and on. What has inspired this obsession? It's not like these books were high literature, but somehow they became ingrained into my life to this very day and I cannot help but remember SVH fondly.
It is nearly impossible to review the story within the covers without spoilers, but I am going to try my darnedest. Some cursing may or may not be involved.
Short synopsis (snarky comments in parentheses ;P):
Jessica has betrayed Elizabeth. (Doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what she did. Anyone who's read the books could make an accurate guess.) The Ultimate Betrayal. (Oooooh!) Elizabeth flees to New York. Elizabeth is a slightly sympathetic bitter victim/martyr who craves revenge throughout the book. Jessica is supposed to be a sympathetic betrayer/victim who's heartsick at destroying her sister. (I don't buy it.) Tons of reminiscing flashbacks ensue throughout the book, sometimes the same ones told by different characters, and take up about half of it, so there's barely any plot. Book ends with a thirteen-page Where Are They Now?-type epilogue that tells old fans what has happened to many major supporting characters from the original high school series. (Apparently no one is allowed to be happy. And anyone you may have originally liked from SVH has turned into a big dick. WTF?)
I expected to enjoy this as the usual over-the-top, soap opera stories I remember, but revamped a bit. Sadly, I was left feeling underwhelmed, disappointed, annoyed, and rather pissed off. For one thing, I could not buy the main betrayal -- -- it was just so unbelievable. And I mean that in a Sweet Valley way, which we all know is not steeped in any form of actual reality, so my standards are quite low and I expect the extraordinary and overwrought. So from this point on, which is within the first two chapters, I struggled, but somehow managed to read on. I admit, I gagged more than few times throughout the book. Who wouldn't when faced with passages such as this one,
I hope you managed to hold onto your last meal. I barely did. I also had to endure "his beloved," "his love," and other similar nauseating descriptions.
This is not the PG-rated books from the past, the word "orgasm" is actually used. So is the F-bomb and other expletives. *gasp* Seriously, it does push the boundaries more than the innocent SVH series, but it's not very shocking by today's standards. Except that it does involve the Wakefield Twins, which was strange at first. Of course, current trends had to pop up, like Twitter and Facebook, Justin Timberlake and Beyonce, which always makes a book better and doesn't date it in the least. (That was heavy sarcasm in case you weren't sure.) The book does refer to some incidents and people from the SVU series, but only certain elements, otherwise it's mainly a continuation of high school and no one from the university days actually appears in the book.
Neither Elizabeth nor Jessica felt true to form, especially Jessica, and in fact, none of the characters, whether seen or just talked about, were right. Sure, some people change and some don't, but not a one was recognizable. Where did these strangers with the same names come from? Why couldn't there have been some semblance of the original shining through? Again, I have a hard time with the basis of the book, so that has severely colored my view of the entire thing, but as it stands, it was a complete waste of a good idea. I'd be willing to bet that any fan of SVH could come up with something a million times better than this dreck. Wasn't there an original ghostwriter available? You know, someone who might actually know the world and characters, and have the skill to develop them both in a believable manner?
The writing is rather clunky and purple-ly, often managing both at the same time. Redundancy abounds, editing mistakes, including wrong names and inconsistencies to previous events in SVH-iverse, and lots of use of the words "like" and "so", more-so in Jessica's narrative than anywhere else, which was really, really, so, like, irritating. Like, really. Ms. Pascal must have had a thesaurus at the ready, because there were big words awkwardly thrown into the narrative. While I appreciate authors utilizing lesser known or used words, some just don't blend well with the rest of the text and they pop-out unflatteringly. The structure needed fine-tuning and tenses were oddly used to differentiate the flashbacks from present day.
To put it succinctly, the writing isn't great and neither is the storyline, what there is of it. This was a bizarre read even by Sweet Valley standards and an insult to fans. Seriously, does Francine Pascal hate this universe and its readers? I think I'll stick to the Sweet Valley High series and make up my own stories about what happened afterward.
Slightly spoiler-ish lesson learned from this book:
Second lesson learned:
Everything always turns up fucking sunshine and roses and unicorns and lollipops for the worst person (or people) in the end.
I'd like to leave you with another winning description,
A thought a few hours after having finished this book:
Maybe another "sequel" will eventually come out and it'll begin with Elizabeth waking up from the nightmare that is this book and we'll get the real ten years later story. Ahh, sweet dreams.
Update: April 26, 2011:
Oh yes, always good to blame the fans/readers for not liking their terrible book. By pointing out minor, petty reasons, I might add. Warning: book spoilers in article.
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/04/17/bus...
That was my initial thought after turning the final page of Sweet Valley Confidential: Ten Years Later.
As a pre-teen, I was addicted to the Sweet Valley High series, and then later, the Sweet Valley University series as well. Before that even, I had read some of the Twins and Kids series, so when I heard this was coming out last year, I just knew I had to read it. I was excited beyond compare and went into full geek-out mode. Where are the perfect size-six Wakefield twins, and their friends and enemies, now? What are their occupations? Who are they dating or who'd they marry? And my questions kept going on and on. What has inspired this obsession? It's not like these books were high literature, but somehow they became ingrained into my life to this very day and I cannot help but remember SVH fondly.
It is nearly impossible to review the story within the covers without spoilers, but I am going to try my darnedest. Some cursing may or may not be involved.
Short synopsis (snarky comments in parentheses ;P):
Jessica has betrayed Elizabeth. (Doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what she did. Anyone who's read the books could make an accurate guess.) The Ultimate Betrayal. (Oooooh!) Elizabeth flees to New York. Elizabeth is a slightly sympathetic bitter victim/martyr who craves revenge throughout the book. Jessica is supposed to be a sympathetic betrayer/victim who's heartsick at destroying her sister. (I don't buy it.) Tons of reminiscing flashbacks ensue throughout the book, sometimes the same ones told by different characters, and take up about half of it, so there's barely any plot. Book ends with a thirteen-page Where Are They Now?-type epilogue that tells old fans what has happened to many major supporting characters from the original high school series. (Apparently no one is allowed to be happy. And anyone you may have originally liked from SVH has turned into a big dick. WTF?)
I expected to enjoy this as the usual over-the-top, soap opera stories I remember, but revamped a bit. Sadly, I was left feeling underwhelmed, disappointed, annoyed, and rather pissed off. For one thing, I could not buy the main betrayal -- -- it was just so unbelievable. And I mean that in a Sweet Valley way, which we all know is not steeped in any form of actual reality, so my standards are quite low and I expect the extraordinary and overwrought. So from this point on, which is within the first two chapters, I struggled, but somehow managed to read on. I admit, I gagged more than few times throughout the book. Who wouldn't when faced with passages such as this one,
"And what faces they were.
Gorgeous. Absolutely amazing. The kind you couldn't stop looking at. Their eyes were shades of aqua that danced in the light like shards of precious stones, oval and fringed with thick, light brown lashes long enough to cast a shadow on their cheeks. Their silky blond hair, the cascading kind, fell just below their shoulders. And to complete the perfection, their rosy lips looked as if they were penciled on. There wasn't a thing wrong with their figures, either. It was if billions of possibilities all fell together perfectly.
Twice."
-page 9/10
I hope you managed to hold onto your last meal. I barely did. I also had to endure "his beloved," "his love," and other similar nauseating descriptions.
This is not the PG-rated books from the past, the word "orgasm" is actually used. So is the F-bomb and other expletives. *gasp* Seriously, it does push the boundaries more than the innocent SVH series, but it's not very shocking by today's standards. Except that it does involve the Wakefield Twins, which was strange at first. Of course, current trends had to pop up, like Twitter and Facebook, Justin Timberlake and Beyonce, which always makes a book better and doesn't date it in the least. (That was heavy sarcasm in case you weren't sure.) The book does refer to some incidents and people from the SVU series, but only certain elements, otherwise it's mainly a continuation of high school and no one from the university days actually appears in the book.
Neither Elizabeth nor Jessica felt true to form, especially Jessica, and in fact, none of the characters, whether seen or just talked about, were right. Sure, some people change and some don't, but not a one was recognizable. Where did these strangers with the same names come from? Why couldn't there have been some semblance of the original shining through? Again, I have a hard time with the basis of the book, so that has severely colored my view of the entire thing, but as it stands, it was a complete waste of a good idea. I'd be willing to bet that any fan of SVH could come up with something a million times better than this dreck. Wasn't there an original ghostwriter available? You know, someone who might actually know the world and characters, and have the skill to develop them both in a believable manner?
The writing is rather clunky and purple-ly, often managing both at the same time. Redundancy abounds, editing mistakes, including wrong names and inconsistencies to previous events in SVH-iverse, and lots of use of the words "like" and "so", more-so in Jessica's narrative than anywhere else, which was really, really, so, like, irritating. Like, really. Ms. Pascal must have had a thesaurus at the ready, because there were big words awkwardly thrown into the narrative. While I appreciate authors utilizing lesser known or used words, some just don't blend well with the rest of the text and they pop-out unflatteringly. The structure needed fine-tuning and tenses were oddly used to differentiate the flashbacks from present day.
To put it succinctly, the writing isn't great and neither is the storyline, what there is of it. This was a bizarre read even by Sweet Valley standards and an insult to fans. Seriously, does Francine Pascal hate this universe and its readers? I think I'll stick to the Sweet Valley High series and make up my own stories about what happened afterward.
Slightly spoiler-ish lesson learned from this book:
Second lesson learned:
Everything always turns up fucking sunshine and roses and unicorns and lollipops for the worst person (or people) in the end.
I'd like to leave you with another winning description,
"There were no tears, but her mouth was twisted in a silent sob."
-page 17
A thought a few hours after having finished this book:
Maybe another "sequel" will eventually come out and it'll begin with Elizabeth waking up from the nightmare that is this book and we'll get the real ten years later story. Ahh, sweet dreams.
Update: April 26, 2011:
Oh yes, always good to blame the fans/readers for not liking their terrible book. By pointing out minor, petty reasons, I might add. Warning: book spoilers in article.
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/04/17/bus...
April 4, 2011
To say I was disappointed in this book is an understatement. To say that I felt my childhood was dragged out, beaten and raped and then set aflame would be more accurate. These are not the characters I loved. I just...can't even begin to explain.
Above and beyond the falsification of my childhood, was the manner in which this book was written. Poor sentence structure. The constant flip flop of past to present, first to third person. The flat characters. The storyline that had too much going on to come to a satisfying conclusion in the pages allotted. The inaccuracies to the universe that Francine Pascal supposedly created.
Every time I think about what has happened with Todd, I want to hurl. I keep going back to that don't I?
The only good thing I can say is that Jessica was spot on. A vapid, flirty, self-important b*tch whose love for another person can never match the love for herself, no matter what the author tried to convey.
I would give this book one star, but it's Sweet Valley Twins and my love for them wouldn't allow me to do that. Thus the two.
Above and beyond the falsification of my childhood, was the manner in which this book was written. Poor sentence structure. The constant flip flop of past to present, first to third person. The flat characters. The storyline that had too much going on to come to a satisfying conclusion in the pages allotted. The inaccuracies to the universe that Francine Pascal supposedly created.
Every time I think about what has happened with Todd, I want to hurl. I keep going back to that don't I?
The only good thing I can say is that Jessica was spot on. A vapid, flirty, self-important b*tch whose love for another person can never match the love for herself, no matter what the author tried to convey.
I would give this book one star, but it's Sweet Valley Twins and my love for them wouldn't allow me to do that. Thus the two.
May 3, 2011
I don't care, laugh, but I am going to read this. I loved SVH books when I was young! Now if they would only give us "Trixie Belden: The Adult Years" I'd be set.
I downloaded the first chapter for free yesterday on iBooks! Just got a gift card for my bday, can't wait for 3/29...
April 2011: Sad to say this was GOD AWFUL. Not even nostalgia could make it tolerable. If you insist on reading it, do yourself a favor and borrow it from someone. Although that would not leave you the option to burn after reading...
I downloaded the first chapter for free yesterday on iBooks! Just got a gift card for my bday, can't wait for 3/29...
April 2011: Sad to say this was GOD AWFUL. Not even nostalgia could make it tolerable. If you insist on reading it, do yourself a favor and borrow it from someone. Although that would not leave you the option to burn after reading...
April 18, 2011
I am possibly more excited about this book than ANY other coming out in the next few years. What does that say about me...
UPDATE:
So the library was taking entirely too long to get this in, and the reviews (and spoilers) were all over the Internet and hard to avoid. So I actually went and bought it this weekend, which I haven't done since the BSC prequel. How I love my childhood books, I guess.
This book is kind of impossible to rate. It was not very good, but come on, it's a Sweet Valley book. Who was expecting amazing writing? Anyway, here are my very convoluted thoughts. There might be spoilers, but I will try my best not to list them.
To start, it was extremely awkward to hear about pious, judgmental, clutching-her-pearls Elizabeth having "omg the sex!" and telling us she cries after orgasms (I don't know about you, but I could have gone the rest of my life not knowing that). I applaud Francine for making them real 27-year olds instead of the Pleasantville-type teenagers they were, but it was so far from the way they were written as 16 year olds that it was a bit jolting.
I'm not really going to touch on the main plot, since I don't want to spoil it. But let's just say it was a major "WTF".
Continuity problems, anyone? Francine mentions in the acknowledgements that some person helped her with all the random Sweet Valley trivia so she didn't mess anything up. Obviously she should have hired me instead, a self-proclaimed SVH trivia nerd. Here are just a few of the errors:
Lila's father is listed as Richard Fowler. Um, excuse me? George Fowler will not be pleased.
Mr. Collins' son is named Sam now instead of Teddy.
Suzanne Devlin apparently died after being diagnosed with MS and crashed her car. Um, I thought it turned out her MS was mono (I know, WTF indeed but that book was stupid). I don't remember her dying.
They do a tribute at the end to those who died. Where the hell was Olivia? Not to mention Sam Woodruff? He was my favorite!
Elizabeth mentions that she has never kissed her now-best friend Bruce Patman, except one time when she was passed out. (Um, you mean when he tried to rape you that one time, Liz? What a best friend.) I'm calling bullshit on that. How about that entire story arc where you two fell in love when you found out that Alice and Hank almost got married? Yeah, there was lots of making out there. Come on now.
Elizabeth says she fell in love with Todd in kindergarten but he never paid attention to her until high school. Really this is a continuity fail from back in the day. There was Sweet Valley Kids, Sweet Valley Twins, Sweet Valley High, and Sweet Valley University. None of these series could ever keep their history straight. In SVH, Todd had just moved to town. In SVT, Todd gave Elizabeth her first kiss after moving to town. I think in SVK, he was in their school already. Whatever. That made it really awkward in this book when she would mention something from one of the series that contradicted other parts of the series.
(I also like that on the front page it listed the other series and it doesn't even acknowledge SVH Senior Year, SVH Junior Year, or the Elizabeth series.)
It kept trying to throw in random scenes and characters that either moved away later in the series or were only relevant in the early books, etc. Nothing after book 90 or so was acknowledged at all, even though scenes from SVU were. I think Francine likes to pretend that the books after #90 (the Margo arc, werewolves, vampires, cheerleading, etc.) never happened. Well I may be in the minority, but those were my FAVORITES. It sucked that those events weren't even touched upon.
But then she randomly threw in Elizabeth's relationship with Sam Burgess, which was VERY late in SVU. Why would you put that in, but not explain how her and Todd are even together later in life? They were very broken up at the end of SVU. And she lost her virginity to that Max dude in the Elizabeth series, dammit!
Cara Walker is randomly back in these books with Steven. Didn't she move away to London? What happened to Billie Winkler?
On another note, EVERY chapter from Jessica's point of view is filled with the words "like" and "so." It, like, got so , like, annoying.
It did mention Jessica's marriage to Mike McAllery though. Heh.
I forgot about my favorite error. Elizabeth saying she had never cheated on Todd. HAHAHAHAHAHA. That's all I have to say about that.
In spite of it all, I devoured this book and couldn't put it down. I just had to know how it would end. It kind of soured some characters for me (Winston, anyone?) but this isn't how I am going to imagine it ended anyway. I kind of thought of this book as fanfic, and I am going to keep going in my mind with how the characters ended up, who they married, etc. Elizabeth and Todd are together, Jessica is with either Nick Fox or Jeremy Aames, Lila and Bruce are married, etc. I like my version better.
UPDATE:
So the library was taking entirely too long to get this in, and the reviews (and spoilers) were all over the Internet and hard to avoid. So I actually went and bought it this weekend, which I haven't done since the BSC prequel. How I love my childhood books, I guess.
This book is kind of impossible to rate. It was not very good, but come on, it's a Sweet Valley book. Who was expecting amazing writing? Anyway, here are my very convoluted thoughts. There might be spoilers, but I will try my best not to list them.
To start, it was extremely awkward to hear about pious, judgmental, clutching-her-pearls Elizabeth having "omg the sex!" and telling us she cries after orgasms (I don't know about you, but I could have gone the rest of my life not knowing that). I applaud Francine for making them real 27-year olds instead of the Pleasantville-type teenagers they were, but it was so far from the way they were written as 16 year olds that it was a bit jolting.
I'm not really going to touch on the main plot, since I don't want to spoil it. But let's just say it was a major "WTF".
Continuity problems, anyone? Francine mentions in the acknowledgements that some person helped her with all the random Sweet Valley trivia so she didn't mess anything up. Obviously she should have hired me instead, a self-proclaimed SVH trivia nerd. Here are just a few of the errors:
Lila's father is listed as Richard Fowler. Um, excuse me? George Fowler will not be pleased.
Mr. Collins' son is named Sam now instead of Teddy.
Suzanne Devlin apparently died after being diagnosed with MS and crashed her car. Um, I thought it turned out her MS was mono (I know, WTF indeed but that book was stupid). I don't remember her dying.
They do a tribute at the end to those who died. Where the hell was Olivia? Not to mention Sam Woodruff? He was my favorite!
Elizabeth mentions that she has never kissed her now-best friend Bruce Patman, except one time when she was passed out. (Um, you mean when he tried to rape you that one time, Liz? What a best friend.) I'm calling bullshit on that. How about that entire story arc where you two fell in love when you found out that Alice and Hank almost got married? Yeah, there was lots of making out there. Come on now.
Elizabeth says she fell in love with Todd in kindergarten but he never paid attention to her until high school. Really this is a continuity fail from back in the day. There was Sweet Valley Kids, Sweet Valley Twins, Sweet Valley High, and Sweet Valley University. None of these series could ever keep their history straight. In SVH, Todd had just moved to town. In SVT, Todd gave Elizabeth her first kiss after moving to town. I think in SVK, he was in their school already. Whatever. That made it really awkward in this book when she would mention something from one of the series that contradicted other parts of the series.
(I also like that on the front page it listed the other series and it doesn't even acknowledge SVH Senior Year, SVH Junior Year, or the Elizabeth series.)
It kept trying to throw in random scenes and characters that either moved away later in the series or were only relevant in the early books, etc. Nothing after book 90 or so was acknowledged at all, even though scenes from SVU were. I think Francine likes to pretend that the books after #90 (the Margo arc, werewolves, vampires, cheerleading, etc.) never happened. Well I may be in the minority, but those were my FAVORITES. It sucked that those events weren't even touched upon.
But then she randomly threw in Elizabeth's relationship with Sam Burgess, which was VERY late in SVU. Why would you put that in, but not explain how her and Todd are even together later in life? They were very broken up at the end of SVU. And she lost her virginity to that Max dude in the Elizabeth series, dammit!
Cara Walker is randomly back in these books with Steven. Didn't she move away to London? What happened to Billie Winkler?
On another note, EVERY chapter from Jessica's point of view is filled with the words "like" and "so." It, like, got so , like, annoying.
It did mention Jessica's marriage to Mike McAllery though. Heh.
I forgot about my favorite error. Elizabeth saying she had never cheated on Todd. HAHAHAHAHAHA. That's all I have to say about that.
In spite of it all, I devoured this book and couldn't put it down. I just had to know how it would end. It kind of soured some characters for me (Winston, anyone?) but this isn't how I am going to imagine it ended anyway. I kind of thought of this book as fanfic, and I am going to keep going in my mind with how the characters ended up, who they married, etc. Elizabeth and Todd are together, Jessica is with either Nick Fox or Jeremy Aames, Lila and Bruce are married, etc. I like my version better.
April 6, 2011
I finally understand what nerdboys felt towards George Lucas after the release of Episode 1. In fact, I'd rather Francine Pascal had written about Jar Jar Binks than this. But here's the thing -- I still would've read it. Sweet Valley High is...was such a fond childhood memory for me that no amount of 1 or 2 star reviews would've deterred me from getting it right when it came out. And I'm sure a lot of other people feel the same way. Maybe because I read SVH when I was so impressionable and young (and re-read and re-read them because my mom would only buy me 2 books at a time), I remember so many aspects and details of the characters and the plots. The problem is, I don't think Francine Pascal does.
Sweet Valley Confidential Elizabeth and Jessica are Wakefields in name and matching gold lavaliere necklace only. The characters are unidentifiable, even when accounting for the 10 year lapse since Sweet Valley High. While reading this book, the thought that kept coming up was, Who ARE these people?! And despite Ms. Pascal's references to Beyonce, Justin Timberlake, Facebook, AND Twitter, it felt dated and contrived, like when my mom started talking about Facebook after seeing the Time Magazine article last year and acted like it was the coolest, newest thing ever. After the Twitter reference, I thought, No Tumblr??
Bottom line: This book is for diehard Sweet Valley High fans only. It won't make fans of people unfamiliar with the books and it won't treat well the people who so lovingly kept SVH alive all these years.
Update (1 hour after finishing the book): I now have a paralyzing fear that Ann M. Martin is going to write an update to Baby Sitter's Club where it's revealed that Kristy molested all the kids on Kristy's Krushers.
Update (6 hours later): Why, Francine, whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?
Sweet Valley Confidential Elizabeth and Jessica are Wakefields in name and matching gold lavaliere necklace only. The characters are unidentifiable, even when accounting for the 10 year lapse since Sweet Valley High. While reading this book, the thought that kept coming up was, Who ARE these people?! And despite Ms. Pascal's references to Beyonce, Justin Timberlake, Facebook, AND Twitter, it felt dated and contrived, like when my mom started talking about Facebook after seeing the Time Magazine article last year and acted like it was the coolest, newest thing ever. After the Twitter reference, I thought, No Tumblr??
Bottom line: This book is for diehard Sweet Valley High fans only. It won't make fans of people unfamiliar with the books and it won't treat well the people who so lovingly kept SVH alive all these years.
Update (1 hour after finishing the book): I now have a paralyzing fear that Ann M. Martin is going to write an update to Baby Sitter's Club where it's revealed that Kristy molested all the kids on Kristy's Krushers.
Update (6 hours later): Why, Francine, whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?
June 9, 2012
*Additional note 06/12* For whatever reason, the subject of this book has ended up in a couple of conversations of mine this week. Apparently, people aren't aware that the book was so extremely far off from the original Sweet Valley High series. Maybe it won't be a big deal to some people but I wanted to say again to those who didn't know : If you feel like you wouldn't be able to handle major character/personality changes from your beloved childhood book friends, keep your memories intact by avoiding this book. If you're unsure how you might feel and don't mind having the book spoiled for you, go ahead and read my spoilers in the review and following notes.
*Original review 01/12*
FAIL. Big time.
It's rare that I rate books 1 star. Usually, if a book is terrible, I will give up reading and shelve it as unfinished without a rating.
Technically, I didn't read the whole book. I read the first few chapters and found myself completely disgusted, so I skipped ahead to the end and read the last few chapters, as well as the epilogue/where are they now?
This book RUINED the series for me. All of my fond childhood memories - GONE. I can't stand when books make you feel like they were written for the purpose of shock value like this one was. Only click on the spoiler ahead if you really want to know. I wasn't buying that It was so out of character from everything we had been sold for years and invalidated all of that time we spent caring for those people because everything went down in such a way that the betrayals were horrendous to read about.
If you were like me and loved this series as a child, do yourself a favor. Remember everything the way it was. You really don't want to see everyone's lives dissected and rebuilt the way that it was done in this book.
*Original review 01/12*
FAIL. Big time.
It's rare that I rate books 1 star. Usually, if a book is terrible, I will give up reading and shelve it as unfinished without a rating.
Technically, I didn't read the whole book. I read the first few chapters and found myself completely disgusted, so I skipped ahead to the end and read the last few chapters, as well as the epilogue/where are they now?
This book RUINED the series for me. All of my fond childhood memories - GONE. I can't stand when books make you feel like they were written for the purpose of shock value like this one was. Only click on the spoiler ahead if you really want to know. I wasn't buying that It was so out of character from everything we had been sold for years and invalidated all of that time we spent caring for those people because everything went down in such a way that the betrayals were horrendous to read about.
If you were like me and loved this series as a child, do yourself a favor. Remember everything the way it was. You really don't want to see everyone's lives dissected and rebuilt the way that it was done in this book.
May 2, 2011
OK, even when I read these at age eleven, I had no illusions about the quality of SVH. I remember my fourth grade teacher saying they were akin to fast food, but I would say that's an insult to fast food. This book is akin to a shit sandwich. It makes Twilight look like The Sound and the Fury. The writing was waaaaay worse than I remember. Feast your eyes on the dreadfulness:
"He fell in love for the first time. But he wasn't ready for that kind of exclusive love, and he screwed up. He hadn't lost the habit of other girls, and she found out. He never got a second chance. She went to that party with the drugs, tried some cocaine, and it killed her." Uh oh, that party with the drugs.
"First sight of her is always overwhelming. She's in a haze like a painting. Exquisite. A Monet. Sometimes I'm so hopeless about her, it makes me laugh at myself. Imagine when technology finds a way to read your mind. No one will ever be able to leave the house." This is a terrifying thought Pascal has posed, and I hope technology doesn't find a way to do this.
"But the passion was there, and once the love had been established, the excitement took over and spun them out into the wild reaches of the glorious. At last Elizabeth knew the splendid, the marvelous, the amazing, the spectacular! The over the top!" The Wild Reaches of the Glorious = new band name?
"Todd made an annoyed gesture with his head and sat down a little too hard. Heads turned to see what had made that sound, and it was immediately obvious that a drama was building." Pascal's use of the passive voice is a continual surprise.
"Not nearly as handsome as Bruce, Roger was a champion runner in high school and hasn't gained a pound since. He looks pretty much today as he did then, boyish, with friendly gray eyes somewhat obscured by thick-framed glasses that keep slipping down his nose. He was so poor in high school that he couldn't afford to take the regular bus. There were no school buses in his neighborhood. He had to walk--except he didn't, he ran. That's how he became a track star." This paragraph is just awesome!
I was certain the last line of the book was going to be, "And then Elizabeth woke up and realized it was all a bad dream." It should have been. But then again, who's the best-selling author who divides her time between homes in New York and the south of France? And who's the idiot who wasted half a day reading this hilariously bad book?
"He fell in love for the first time. But he wasn't ready for that kind of exclusive love, and he screwed up. He hadn't lost the habit of other girls, and she found out. He never got a second chance. She went to that party with the drugs, tried some cocaine, and it killed her." Uh oh, that party with the drugs.
"First sight of her is always overwhelming. She's in a haze like a painting. Exquisite. A Monet. Sometimes I'm so hopeless about her, it makes me laugh at myself. Imagine when technology finds a way to read your mind. No one will ever be able to leave the house." This is a terrifying thought Pascal has posed, and I hope technology doesn't find a way to do this.
"But the passion was there, and once the love had been established, the excitement took over and spun them out into the wild reaches of the glorious. At last Elizabeth knew the splendid, the marvelous, the amazing, the spectacular! The over the top!" The Wild Reaches of the Glorious = new band name?
"Todd made an annoyed gesture with his head and sat down a little too hard. Heads turned to see what had made that sound, and it was immediately obvious that a drama was building." Pascal's use of the passive voice is a continual surprise.
"Not nearly as handsome as Bruce, Roger was a champion runner in high school and hasn't gained a pound since. He looks pretty much today as he did then, boyish, with friendly gray eyes somewhat obscured by thick-framed glasses that keep slipping down his nose. He was so poor in high school that he couldn't afford to take the regular bus. There were no school buses in his neighborhood. He had to walk--except he didn't, he ran. That's how he became a track star." This paragraph is just awesome!
I was certain the last line of the book was going to be, "And then Elizabeth woke up and realized it was all a bad dream." It should have been. But then again, who's the best-selling author who divides her time between homes in New York and the south of France? And who's the idiot who wasted half a day reading this hilariously bad book?
April 10, 2011
Now I grew up with Elizabeth and Jessica Wakefield. Being a pre-teen in the late 80's, who didn't? Now by the time Sweet Valley High the Senior Year or Sweet Valley University came along I was well into high school and much too cool so this series, but what can I say? When you hit the mid-thirties you look back on the things that are associated with our youth- at least I do.
I was very excited to see this available and downloaded it quickly to the Nook. I began reading and was prepared to meet my pre-teen heroines all grown up and a whopping 27 years old. I was quickly disappointed. This book was all over the place. The story jumped from the first person view of several characters and sub plots. I quickly got the feeling that the author was trying to condense the past several years of Sweet Valley history in addition to developing the actual plot.
The characters were not believable, but rather seemed to be the same high school girls that now said swearing words and had sex and knew what FB and Twitter are. I can honestly say that I was anxious for this read to be over, and I am hardly the type of reader who feel that way. To sum it up: not worth the time or money!
I was very excited to see this available and downloaded it quickly to the Nook. I began reading and was prepared to meet my pre-teen heroines all grown up and a whopping 27 years old. I was quickly disappointed. This book was all over the place. The story jumped from the first person view of several characters and sub plots. I quickly got the feeling that the author was trying to condense the past several years of Sweet Valley history in addition to developing the actual plot.
The characters were not believable, but rather seemed to be the same high school girls that now said swearing words and had sex and knew what FB and Twitter are. I can honestly say that I was anxious for this read to be over, and I am hardly the type of reader who feel that way. To sum it up: not worth the time or money!
July 13, 2016
I read this book a few years ago, but I never got around to adding it to my Read list.
I was the ultimate Sweet Valley fan growing up. I mean, I was *obsessed* with the entire series, from Sweet Valley Kids, to Twins, to High, etc. I worked out the other day that I have read 250 of the Sweet Valley books. I mean, that's crazy. I'm a little bit sad that I didn't hang onto my collection, and that I ended up donating them.
So when this came out a few years ago, I was really excited to see where everyone ended up. What followed was a really disappointing, badly written, childhood ruining piece of trash. These were not the characters I had grown up loving, this was a book trying too hard to be "shocking", "grown up", and essentially, it was terrible.
I think it's best to pretend that this book does not exist, and I'll hold on to the memories of my childhood instead.
I was the ultimate Sweet Valley fan growing up. I mean, I was *obsessed* with the entire series, from Sweet Valley Kids, to Twins, to High, etc. I worked out the other day that I have read 250 of the Sweet Valley books. I mean, that's crazy. I'm a little bit sad that I didn't hang onto my collection, and that I ended up donating them.
So when this came out a few years ago, I was really excited to see where everyone ended up. What followed was a really disappointing, badly written, childhood ruining piece of trash. These were not the characters I had grown up loving, this was a book trying too hard to be "shocking", "grown up", and essentially, it was terrible.
I think it's best to pretend that this book does not exist, and I'll hold on to the memories of my childhood instead.
March 30, 2011
I've had just one personal day from the office forever. I've been holding on to it and just dreaming of when to use it. You see, the fiscal year doesn't start until April 1, and I used up all my other vacation days by last July. I have been so patiently waiting...
Meanwhile, my planner since mid-2010 has marked in red ink on March 29th, "SVC comes out."
Did I dare take my last personal day to use solely for a book release?
I did, and it was delicious.
Sure, I did other things--grown-up, responsible errands that most people would do on a personal day off from work--I went to the library, ran to Target, got new tires at the auto center, got my eyebrows done, and did two loads of laundry, sheets and towels at that. But it was all an elaborate ruse. I went to the library to see if I could score this book for free (I would have been #13 in the queue), since I couldn't get it, I ran to Target and nearly cursed out everybody when I didn't immediately see the book (found it, whew). I only went to the auto center today so I could have quiet time in the waiting room to READ THIS BOOK (I read about half of it while I waited). My eyebrows? Just to frame my eyes better as I READ THIS BOOK. Laundry--gave me an excuse to stay at home to READ THIS BOOK. *Gleefully, hysterically laughs*
Verdict on the book? Good! It felt like old times with Jessica and Elizabeth. A bit...far-fetched (that's probably to be expected, but still, I felt like that). I know Jessica was always doing crazy, selfish things, and she's even gone behind Elizabeth's back before, but man, I didn't really think she would take Todd. And want to marry him. After years and years with Elizabeth and close to their own engagement. Oof. Todd, by the way, has always been such a drip. And Elizabeth...ending up with who she does (don't want to spoil things), meh, don't know if I quite believe it, but maybe I need to reread some Sweet Valley High to pick up on that. Steven--I don't believe that, but fine, Francine obviously wanted to get that out there for her own agenda so that's fine. The writing was mainly fine--sometimes too much inner turmoil for me and I would find myself skimming and force myself to reread it all. Sometimes I think Francine tries to be too fancy but it makes me roll my eyes ("He heard her and turned to look but almost without recognition, so frantic was he." Um...really? That sounds ridiculous. There were more instances like that, but I can't find them right now.) Thinking and talking like Jessica apparently only requires that you throw in some "like"s and "so"s, to the point of distraction ("I'm thinking about Steven and how I can help him. I'm the only one who knows and he so needs me now.") I didn't think the wrap-up of all the characters at the end of the book was necessary, but I'm sure some other fans loved it.
I'm glad Francine tried to show us at the end of the book that Elizabeth and Jessica had both changed. I don't quite believe it, but I want to believe it because YOU CAN'T JUST KEEP BEING AN ENABLER, ELIZABETH. AND YOU CAN'T KEEP BEING SUCH A SELFISH COW, JESSICA.
A good read for nostalgia's sake. And now I want to reread some of the other books (remember the Evil Twin arc? And the Super Editions? The Magna editions, especially the Wakefields of Sweet Valley? OMG. Honest to God, I wish I had written those.).
P.S. Went out to dinner after writing this review and drank a dirty martini in honor of Elizabeth. Sweet Valley Forever!
Meanwhile, my planner since mid-2010 has marked in red ink on March 29th, "SVC comes out."
Did I dare take my last personal day to use solely for a book release?
I did, and it was delicious.
Sure, I did other things--grown-up, responsible errands that most people would do on a personal day off from work--I went to the library, ran to Target, got new tires at the auto center, got my eyebrows done, and did two loads of laundry, sheets and towels at that. But it was all an elaborate ruse. I went to the library to see if I could score this book for free (I would have been #13 in the queue), since I couldn't get it, I ran to Target and nearly cursed out everybody when I didn't immediately see the book (found it, whew). I only went to the auto center today so I could have quiet time in the waiting room to READ THIS BOOK (I read about half of it while I waited). My eyebrows? Just to frame my eyes better as I READ THIS BOOK. Laundry--gave me an excuse to stay at home to READ THIS BOOK. *Gleefully, hysterically laughs*
Verdict on the book? Good! It felt like old times with Jessica and Elizabeth. A bit...far-fetched (that's probably to be expected, but still, I felt like that). I know Jessica was always doing crazy, selfish things, and she's even gone behind Elizabeth's back before, but man, I didn't really think she would take Todd. And want to marry him. After years and years with Elizabeth and close to their own engagement. Oof. Todd, by the way, has always been such a drip. And Elizabeth...ending up with who she does (don't want to spoil things), meh, don't know if I quite believe it, but maybe I need to reread some Sweet Valley High to pick up on that. Steven--I don't believe that, but fine, Francine obviously wanted to get that out there for her own agenda so that's fine. The writing was mainly fine--sometimes too much inner turmoil for me and I would find myself skimming and force myself to reread it all. Sometimes I think Francine tries to be too fancy but it makes me roll my eyes ("He heard her and turned to look but almost without recognition, so frantic was he." Um...really? That sounds ridiculous. There were more instances like that, but I can't find them right now.) Thinking and talking like Jessica apparently only requires that you throw in some "like"s and "so"s, to the point of distraction ("I'm thinking about Steven and how I can help him. I'm the only one who knows and he so needs me now.") I didn't think the wrap-up of all the characters at the end of the book was necessary, but I'm sure some other fans loved it.
I'm glad Francine tried to show us at the end of the book that Elizabeth and Jessica had both changed. I don't quite believe it, but I want to believe it because YOU CAN'T JUST KEEP BEING AN ENABLER, ELIZABETH. AND YOU CAN'T KEEP BEING SUCH A SELFISH COW, JESSICA.
A good read for nostalgia's sake. And now I want to reread some of the other books (remember the Evil Twin arc? And the Super Editions? The Magna editions, especially the Wakefields of Sweet Valley? OMG. Honest to God, I wish I had written those.).
P.S. Went out to dinner after writing this review and drank a dirty martini in honor of Elizabeth. Sweet Valley Forever!
April 2, 2011
Is there a "kill it with fire" option? Because that's really what's called for. If you haven't read SVC and you actually were looking forward to it for something other than it being incredibly awful do yourself a favor and avoid it. Avoid it like the plague. RUN. Run now. Because this book is bad.
To attempt to be fair, the first chapter was posted long enough ago that we were warned. And I did expect it to be bad, but I didn't expect this. I cannot for the life of me figure out who this book was released for. It's not likely to appeal to anyone who hasn't heard of Sweet Valley before, and given how miserable everyone in the book is, I can't imagine it was really meant to appeal to those of us who still think fondly of Sweet Valley.
Really. Everyone is unhappy. None of these people are friends anymore, and I don't mean that after enough time has lapsed you realize that certain friendships are exceptionally one-sided. I mean these people do not like one another. I... I just don't understand why it was published. Who said, "Yes! THIS is what we were looking for!"? It's not like the book wasn't pushed back for years, so obviously they had to do some work on it. I'm guessing, based on Caroline's write-up in the epilogue, that she was set to play some big role in the scrapped Sweet Valley Heights. But she's given an inordinate amount of screentime for someone who was pretty much hated then and isn't meant to be any better now.
I don't get why everyone is so unhappy and hateful towards one another. I loathed high school and most of the people I went to school with (and at the time I was pretty sure the feeling was mutual), but every time I run into someone who made my life miserable back then, they at least attempt to pretend to be civil at the absolute -worst.- Is this just some bizarre thing in my life, or is SVC the odd one?
The use of the word 'like' used in Jessica's chapters is painful. It would be one thing if she was just full on Valley girl, but the word is inserted at the wrong time for it to flow naturally. How do you bungle that?
I don't think Francine Pascal had any idea of who any of the characters beyond the Wakefield twins were. AJ Morgan makes an appearance, only he's not really AJ in anything but name. AJ in SVH was soft-spoken, nice, and a little too normal for Jessica's tastes. He was also a new transplant from the South (Georgia, to be exact) during their junior year. So how could he be the bad boy with long, dirty blond hair who apparently felt Jessica up in seventh grade? Yeah.
Or how Cara Walker comes back to marry Steven Wakefield but Billie, Steven's longest relationship in the SV universe (spanning SVH and SVU) is never mentioned, even in a "it didn't work out" sort of way? Originally I thought that maybe FP was ignoring SVU, which would be one way of avoiding the extra work... only Mike, Jessica's first husband, is mentioned. As are Neil and the inferior Sam (who does not share a name with Mr. Collins' son, FP! What the hell?) and quite a bit of Todd's storyline is drawn from his stint in SVU.
The writing is painful to read, the characters are miserable, and unless you were dying for Todd and Jessica to get married, or Bruce and Liz to hook up (again), I'd advise skipping this.
That said, there's a moment when Alice Wakefield finally blows her top and it is absolutely priceless.
To attempt to be fair, the first chapter was posted long enough ago that we were warned. And I did expect it to be bad, but I didn't expect this. I cannot for the life of me figure out who this book was released for. It's not likely to appeal to anyone who hasn't heard of Sweet Valley before, and given how miserable everyone in the book is, I can't imagine it was really meant to appeal to those of us who still think fondly of Sweet Valley.
Really. Everyone is unhappy. None of these people are friends anymore, and I don't mean that after enough time has lapsed you realize that certain friendships are exceptionally one-sided. I mean these people do not like one another. I... I just don't understand why it was published. Who said, "Yes! THIS is what we were looking for!"? It's not like the book wasn't pushed back for years, so obviously they had to do some work on it. I'm guessing, based on Caroline's write-up in the epilogue, that she was set to play some big role in the scrapped Sweet Valley Heights. But she's given an inordinate amount of screentime for someone who was pretty much hated then and isn't meant to be any better now.
I don't get why everyone is so unhappy and hateful towards one another. I loathed high school and most of the people I went to school with (and at the time I was pretty sure the feeling was mutual), but every time I run into someone who made my life miserable back then, they at least attempt to pretend to be civil at the absolute -worst.- Is this just some bizarre thing in my life, or is SVC the odd one?
The use of the word 'like' used in Jessica's chapters is painful. It would be one thing if she was just full on Valley girl, but the word is inserted at the wrong time for it to flow naturally. How do you bungle that?
I don't think Francine Pascal had any idea of who any of the characters beyond the Wakefield twins were. AJ Morgan makes an appearance, only he's not really AJ in anything but name. AJ in SVH was soft-spoken, nice, and a little too normal for Jessica's tastes. He was also a new transplant from the South (Georgia, to be exact) during their junior year. So how could he be the bad boy with long, dirty blond hair who apparently felt Jessica up in seventh grade? Yeah.
Or how Cara Walker comes back to marry Steven Wakefield but Billie, Steven's longest relationship in the SV universe (spanning SVH and SVU) is never mentioned, even in a "it didn't work out" sort of way? Originally I thought that maybe FP was ignoring SVU, which would be one way of avoiding the extra work... only Mike, Jessica's first husband, is mentioned. As are Neil and the inferior Sam (who does not share a name with Mr. Collins' son, FP! What the hell?) and quite a bit of Todd's storyline is drawn from his stint in SVU.
The writing is painful to read, the characters are miserable, and unless you were dying for Todd and Jessica to get married, or Bruce and Liz to hook up (again), I'd advise skipping this.
That said, there's a moment when Alice Wakefield finally blows her top and it is absolutely priceless.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 28, 2011
I didn't think this book was as awful as the other reviews are making it out to be. However, the author makes really bold choices about her beloved characters, and some of the choices are bound to make long time fans angry. While the book isn't rocket science, it's the equivalent of a juicy soap opera. Lots of fluff, and all the drama you need for a relaxing afternoon read.
It's hard to say that the Wakefield twins have "grown up" but it is ten years later. Elizabeth and Jessica are still caught up in the same type of fluffy, selfish story lines we saw them in during high school. Now the residents of Sweet Valley are cheating on spouses instead of boyfriends and girlfriends. Jessica is still wildly selfish and Elizabeth is still a goody two shoes martyr. As the book itself says "Plus ca change, plus c'est la meme chose," which means "The more things change, the more they stay the same."
I always had a soft spot for Bruce Patman, and he comes out as the 'most changed for the better' from Sweet Valley High. Lila Fowler fans, she barely makes an appearance, much to my dismay. As for the other characters, I won't give any spoilers, but I can see how huge fans of the series who remember every detail from the books would be disappointed and saddened by the direction of some of the characters (cough...Todd...cough).
I didn't care for the New York storyline at all. Elizabeth had moved to NYC, and all of the events and characters from that part of the story seemed so irrelevant to the soapy drama happening in Sweet Valley. Readers want to know about their old favorites not disposable new characters.
Another part of the book that I didn't like was the style of font for the flashback scenes. It literally made my eyes hurt. I don't think it was a proper font for reading such long passages.
An angsty, drama-filled visit back to Sweet Valley. The author made bold choices for her beloved characters that may or may not please hard-core fans.
book sent by publicist in exchange for honest review
reviewed for http://inthehammockblog.blogspot.com
It's hard to say that the Wakefield twins have "grown up" but it is ten years later. Elizabeth and Jessica are still caught up in the same type of fluffy, selfish story lines we saw them in during high school. Now the residents of Sweet Valley are cheating on spouses instead of boyfriends and girlfriends. Jessica is still wildly selfish and Elizabeth is still a goody two shoes martyr. As the book itself says "Plus ca change, plus c'est la meme chose," which means "The more things change, the more they stay the same."
I always had a soft spot for Bruce Patman, and he comes out as the 'most changed for the better' from Sweet Valley High. Lila Fowler fans, she barely makes an appearance, much to my dismay. As for the other characters, I won't give any spoilers, but I can see how huge fans of the series who remember every detail from the books would be disappointed and saddened by the direction of some of the characters (cough...Todd...cough).
I didn't care for the New York storyline at all. Elizabeth had moved to NYC, and all of the events and characters from that part of the story seemed so irrelevant to the soapy drama happening in Sweet Valley. Readers want to know about their old favorites not disposable new characters.
Another part of the book that I didn't like was the style of font for the flashback scenes. It literally made my eyes hurt. I don't think it was a proper font for reading such long passages.
An angsty, drama-filled visit back to Sweet Valley. The author made bold choices for her beloved characters that may or may not please hard-core fans.
book sent by publicist in exchange for honest review
reviewed for http://inthehammockblog.blogspot.com
July 14, 2011
Just like thousands of other women, I grew up reading the Sweet Valley books. So when I learned that a brand spankin' new Sweet Valley book was coming out--and that the twins were all grown up--I was ecstatic! I wasn't a religious fan of the series and haven't read every single book in the various series; I chose the ones to read based on their individual story arcs. The Elizabeth and Jessica Secret Diaries were a quick and easy way to know about the events of previous books all mashed into one nifty volume.
I was also excited about this book because the series creator, Francine Pascal, was writing this one herself. But after reading Sweet Valley Confidential: Ten Years Later, I think the writing should have been done by those who have done it best all these years.
Where to start on the writing...the structure of this book is all over the place. It begins in 3rd person past tense, then switches to a flashback in 3rd person past tense, and then to a 1st person POV in present tense. We get to hear from Elizabeth, Todd, Jessica, and even Bruce and Steven. I wasn't really a fan of the flashbacks because it seems like they were just summaries from the last books in the SVU series. I didn't read those, so I can't say for certain if that hunch is correct or not. Additionally, there was too much repetition; first we'd get Elizabeth's thoughts on a specific situation, and then a few pages later we'd get the same situation rehashed from from someone else's perspective. There just wasn't enough "new" material to make this a truly satisfying read.
The writing style. I hope that we can all agree that we didn't read the Sweet Valley books because we thought the writing was top notch. This book could definitely have used some more editing. Pascal tried a little too hard to be hip on things like Facebook, Twitter, and emailing, but they are just thrown into the story to give it a more "modern" feel. I didn't really get the impression that Pascal understands how Facebook and Twitter are used.
Dialogue. I do not remember Jessica throwing a "like", "so", or "totally" into her speech in the old series. Why would she start doing this now at the age of 27? It didn't flow very well, and anytime I came across a "like" it was very out of place in the sentence. She also didn't consistently speak like this throughout the book.
And what was the point of the epilogue? It seemed like it was Pascal's character outlines thrown together just to add some more "meat" to the book. If you're reading this book right now, seriously skip the epilogue because it adds nothing to the rest of the book; it's just more of what we're already told throughout the rest of it.
I was really hoping for a more mature take on the Sweet Valley world, but all I got was a ton of disappointment. Pascal doesn't seem to "know" these characters at all. And why would she, since she didn't even write the books? There were a lot of things that should have been fact checked that weren't, even though Pascal credits someone in the acknowledgements with finding that information out for her. When Jeffrey French is mentioned the first time, he is married with some kids. When he's mentioned in the epilogue, he went to The Wedding as Lila's date and had moved back to Sweet Valley single and unattached. Sorry, but that is a really HUGE mistake! Even if the editor (if there was one) wasn't familiar with the Sweet Valley books, this mistake still should have been caught.
So even with all the flaws and no mention whatsoever of Amy Sutton (how on earth did she get left out of this, but Steven's and Bruce's dead girlfriends get mentions?), it was still nice to visit Sweet Valley again and get reacquainted with the twins. I can't say I won't read future Sweet Valley books, but I hope the publisher is paying attention to the critical reviews and gives Sweet Valley the respect it deserves.
I was also excited about this book because the series creator, Francine Pascal, was writing this one herself. But after reading Sweet Valley Confidential: Ten Years Later, I think the writing should have been done by those who have done it best all these years.
Where to start on the writing...the structure of this book is all over the place. It begins in 3rd person past tense, then switches to a flashback in 3rd person past tense, and then to a 1st person POV in present tense. We get to hear from Elizabeth, Todd, Jessica, and even Bruce and Steven. I wasn't really a fan of the flashbacks because it seems like they were just summaries from the last books in the SVU series. I didn't read those, so I can't say for certain if that hunch is correct or not. Additionally, there was too much repetition; first we'd get Elizabeth's thoughts on a specific situation, and then a few pages later we'd get the same situation rehashed from from someone else's perspective. There just wasn't enough "new" material to make this a truly satisfying read.
The writing style. I hope that we can all agree that we didn't read the Sweet Valley books because we thought the writing was top notch. This book could definitely have used some more editing. Pascal tried a little too hard to be hip on things like Facebook, Twitter, and emailing, but they are just thrown into the story to give it a more "modern" feel. I didn't really get the impression that Pascal understands how Facebook and Twitter are used.
Dialogue. I do not remember Jessica throwing a "like", "so", or "totally" into her speech in the old series. Why would she start doing this now at the age of 27? It didn't flow very well, and anytime I came across a "like" it was very out of place in the sentence. She also didn't consistently speak like this throughout the book.
And what was the point of the epilogue? It seemed like it was Pascal's character outlines thrown together just to add some more "meat" to the book. If you're reading this book right now, seriously skip the epilogue because it adds nothing to the rest of the book; it's just more of what we're already told throughout the rest of it.
I was really hoping for a more mature take on the Sweet Valley world, but all I got was a ton of disappointment. Pascal doesn't seem to "know" these characters at all. And why would she, since she didn't even write the books? There were a lot of things that should have been fact checked that weren't, even though Pascal credits someone in the acknowledgements with finding that information out for her. When Jeffrey French is mentioned the first time, he is married with some kids. When he's mentioned in the epilogue, he went to The Wedding as Lila's date and had moved back to Sweet Valley single and unattached. Sorry, but that is a really HUGE mistake! Even if the editor (if there was one) wasn't familiar with the Sweet Valley books, this mistake still should have been caught.
So even with all the flaws and no mention whatsoever of Amy Sutton (how on earth did she get left out of this, but Steven's and Bruce's dead girlfriends get mentions?), it was still nice to visit Sweet Valley again and get reacquainted with the twins. I can't say I won't read future Sweet Valley books, but I hope the publisher is paying attention to the critical reviews and gives Sweet Valley the respect it deserves.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 9, 2011
As someone who owned many Sweet Valley High books, I got ridiculously excited when I heard this book was coming out. I expected it to be a throwback to my early years; some sort of guilty pleasure. Uh, no.
I wanted to like this book. I really did. I even read it all in one evening. Probably because I knew if I stopped I wouldn't finish. Yep, it's that bad. Okay, where to begin....hmm.
Clearly, Francine Pascal wanted this book to sound hip and modern. Unfortunately, adding "like" and "so" to practically every paragraph is not the best way to do this. It is, like, sooo annoying and unnecessary. See what I did there? That happens a LOT. Grr. And what's with all the "F bombs?" Unnecessary, but probably there to "be edgy."
The flashbacks. Oh, the flashbacks. I don't even know what to say about them. Too many, and told by too many points of view. I really don't need two characters to tell me the same story with the same dialog. I got it the first time.
There are contradictions in this book that should have been caught (ie what happened to Jeffrey French, Mr. Collins' kid's name, when certain characters appeared in Sweet Valley...really I could keep going)...if I remember this crap after 15 years or so, I really think the creator of this series should know it, too. Especially if she's going to include this information in the book.
Everyone is miserable in this book. Marriages are busting up left and right, people are cattin' around, you can't trust anyone, etc. It's off-putting, really.
Elizabeth's story line is BORING. I don't CARE about the Off Broadway scene in New York.
I get this book is about THE BETRAYAL. But oh my hell, enough. I get it. Jessica's evil. Liz can do no wrong. Blah blah blah. We don't need to drag this out for 300 pages only to have a quick fix in a page and a half, do we? Oh, yes, apparently we do. Completely unbelievable, by the way.
I'm supposed to believe that Todd and Jessica are in love. Really? And Liz and Bruce Patman (you know, the same Bruce Patman that tried to date rape her) are not only besties but eventually hook up? REALLY? That's the thing about this book. Nobody is even remotely who they used to be. I get that people change and all, but this is ridiculous. Oh wait. Caroline Pearce is still the annoying gossip. This book doesn't let us forget that (it's mentioned over and over again).
The sad lack of characters. Make no mistake about it. This book is about Elizabeth, Jessica, Bruce and Todd. A few others make the cut here or there, but...if you were holding out hope to read more than a few passages about Enid, Lila, or pretty much anyone else, let go of that dream. The epilogue does catch you up on several of the Sweet Valley gang, but like I said, there are inconsistencies.
Overall, I knew I was going to read this book despite the bad reviews. But I'm glad I checked it out from the library instead of buying it. I was disappointed how this turned out, simply because SVH was such a big part of my childhood. If you have your own thoughts or theories about how the characters turned out, do yourself a favor and hold onto those. It's bound to be better than what Francine Pascal wrote for them.
I wanted to like this book. I really did. I even read it all in one evening. Probably because I knew if I stopped I wouldn't finish. Yep, it's that bad. Okay, where to begin....hmm.
Clearly, Francine Pascal wanted this book to sound hip and modern. Unfortunately, adding "like" and "so" to practically every paragraph is not the best way to do this. It is, like, sooo annoying and unnecessary. See what I did there? That happens a LOT. Grr. And what's with all the "F bombs?" Unnecessary, but probably there to "be edgy."
The flashbacks. Oh, the flashbacks. I don't even know what to say about them. Too many, and told by too many points of view. I really don't need two characters to tell me the same story with the same dialog. I got it the first time.
There are contradictions in this book that should have been caught (ie what happened to Jeffrey French, Mr. Collins' kid's name, when certain characters appeared in Sweet Valley...really I could keep going)...if I remember this crap after 15 years or so, I really think the creator of this series should know it, too. Especially if she's going to include this information in the book.
Everyone is miserable in this book. Marriages are busting up left and right, people are cattin' around, you can't trust anyone, etc. It's off-putting, really.
Elizabeth's story line is BORING. I don't CARE about the Off Broadway scene in New York.
I get this book is about THE BETRAYAL. But oh my hell, enough. I get it. Jessica's evil. Liz can do no wrong. Blah blah blah. We don't need to drag this out for 300 pages only to have a quick fix in a page and a half, do we? Oh, yes, apparently we do. Completely unbelievable, by the way.
I'm supposed to believe that Todd and Jessica are in love. Really? And Liz and Bruce Patman (you know, the same Bruce Patman that tried to date rape her) are not only besties but eventually hook up? REALLY? That's the thing about this book. Nobody is even remotely who they used to be. I get that people change and all, but this is ridiculous. Oh wait. Caroline Pearce is still the annoying gossip. This book doesn't let us forget that (it's mentioned over and over again).
The sad lack of characters. Make no mistake about it. This book is about Elizabeth, Jessica, Bruce and Todd. A few others make the cut here or there, but...if you were holding out hope to read more than a few passages about Enid, Lila, or pretty much anyone else, let go of that dream. The epilogue does catch you up on several of the Sweet Valley gang, but like I said, there are inconsistencies.
Overall, I knew I was going to read this book despite the bad reviews. But I'm glad I checked it out from the library instead of buying it. I was disappointed how this turned out, simply because SVH was such a big part of my childhood. If you have your own thoughts or theories about how the characters turned out, do yourself a favor and hold onto those. It's bound to be better than what Francine Pascal wrote for them.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 3, 2011
Originally posted at Sweet Treats & Thrilling Tales
Let me begin this review by saying that I am an 80′s child. I started reading The Babysitter’s Club, Fear Street and Sweet Valley High when I was about 7. I grew up on Sweet Valley books. From SVH to Sweet Valley Twins to Sweet Valley University (released when I was about 14). So yes, when I saw that Sweet Valley Confidential was coming out, I had to have it. Even though I had to read SVC, my expectations were not high and that was definitely a good thing.
There is absolutely no sub-plot. Everything that happens in the book has to do with the “Liz hates Jessica” storyline. Everything else is simply flashbacks to explain the horrible tragedy that is Jess pissing off her older (by 4 minutes) sister. Which is funny in and of itself because if you have been any sort of a fan of Sweet Valley books, then you know that:
A) Jess and Liz fight in pretty much every book
B) Jess is always the one screwing up and feeling horrendously sorry afterwards
C) Liz always claims that she will never forgive her selfish twin for hurting her yet again
D) Liz and Jess always make up.
The only real difference for this book is that Liz is now in New York and has become this extremely bitter, emo Liz who hates everyone and everything and decides that revenge is the best idea ever in order to get over her pain. And you were the smart twin? Such a pity.
In the spirit of not spoiling anything for any future readers, I’m not actually going to rehash the plot (such as it is). Instead, I’m going to discuss a few things that truly bothered me about Sweet Valley Confidential. Ready? I promise that I’ll keep the spoilers to a minimum.
My Top 10 Things That I Truly Hated About Sweet Valley Confidential:
01) To start of this list, did you know that this is actually the FIRST Sweet Valley novel that Francine Pascal has ever written? Let’s let that sink in for just a moment. Sweet Valley High was created 28 years ago, with 8 spin-off series, a grand total of 606 books that spanned those series and not ONE of them was written by Francine Pascal until now. Can I have that job please? Seriously. I have tons of ideas! Anyway, in my opinion it is a benefit that FP never wrote one of the previous books, or the series never would have taken off the way it did. It is painfully obvious that FP also never read the previous books. I do think that Googling the characters that she included in the book, probably would have been a great idea. Example: Redhead A.J. Morgan was introduced in book #48 of SVH after his family moved to Sweet Valley. So it is not plausible that a dirty blonde A.J. Morgan felt up a 7th grade Jessica Wakefield.
02) Jessica Wakefield has never, in all 606 books, ever said “like” or “so” as many times as she did in this one lone book. I don’t know how Francine Pascal view Californians, but saying like or so after every word is not a California thing. It is a Valley Girl stereotype that is used in movies for humor, sure. I will even concede that there are some so-called Valley Girls that do say like. But definitely not as often as suggested by this book. Jessica was always one of my favorite characters. Yes, she was selfish, shallow and inconsiderate. But she was also a ton of fun, adventurous and fiercely loyal to her family. She was never the miserable doormat that has was portrayed as in SVC.
03) Elizabeth Wakefield has been prone to several emo fits throughout the run of the series. But for the so-called level-headed, intelligent and studious twin to resort to a cheap revenge scheme to try and shame her twin? That is not the Elizabeth that I grew up with. Not even in the slightest. This Elizabeth actually had me cringing anytime I had to read her side. Not from the pain she was caused, but from the loathing that I had for what she had become. Also, the twins are now 27. I always expected big things from Liz. You know. More of the stuff she was doing in SVU. Discovering atheltics scandals and secret hate societies on campus. Writing for a throw-away newspaper about Off Broadway shows, was not exactly what I had pictured. Talk about a let down.
04) Bruce Patman is Elizabeth’s best friend. Yes, you read that correctly. Bruce Patman. The rich, arrogant snob that everyone loved to hate. He is Elizabeth’s best friend. The one she turns to whenever her life throws her a curve ball. They are close in fact, that it is described as how he had received several 3am phone calls from her when she first moved to New York. The same Bruce Patman that took advantage of a whacked out of her mind Elizabeth, soon after her coma-induced personality change, and attempted to rape her. But you know, they’re best friends. I understand that people change and that often people forgive a lot of character flaws. But that seems like a HUGE character flaw to just forget about.
05) Todd Wilkins is one of the main protagonists. I should have known that he would be, but I was really hoping he wouldn’t be. And of course, Liz has to rehash her love for Todd throughout the majority of the book. The same Todd Wilkins who dumped her in SVU after she wouldn’t sleep with him, and then who turned around and slept with the first jock jumper he saw. God, Liz. You sure know how to pick them.
06) Flashback. I enjoy an occasional flashback as much as the next person. But each chapter had at least 2 flashbacks up until Chapter 15. No, I’m not kidding.
07) What is with FP’s idea of a relationship? It’s like none of these people have ever left high school. They sleep with someone once and all of a sudden they are in a relationship. It’s 2011. Guess what. People have sex all the time. Sex is simply that. Sex. Confusing sex by calling it a relationship is just not okay. That would explain why the majority of Sweet Valley is miserable. Which brings us to:
08) Why is everyone is Sweet Valley so effing miserable? I don’t think that there was one happy character and certainly not a happy couple. With the possible exception of Alice and Ned. (Although there is an absolutely hilarious moment when Alice gets pissed at all the screaming going on and drops an f-bomb. That was classic.) Everyone is sleeping with everyone else and no one is happy at all. At least in SVH there were still friendships. Oh wait, I forgot. Liz is friends with her attempted rapist. All is right in the world.
09) Did you know that the Wakefield’s joined the country club back when the twins were 12? Yeah, I didn’t either. Especially since throughout most of the SVH series Jessica is always bitching at the fact that Lila and Bruce are members of the club but her family was not.
10) Everyone is a blonde it appears. A.J. Morgan now has dirty blonde hair and Lila Fowler now has blonde streaks. Not everyone in California is a blonde, Francine Pascal.
It’s obvious that I was disappointed in Sweet Valley Confidential. Was I expecting a Pulitzer prize winning novel? No. But I was expecting a book that would be like reuniting with a group of old friends. This is more like reuniting with a group of people you hated and hoped to never see again. And I’m sorry. I have to mention it yet again. I am far from being a grammar nazi (although yes, I try my best to make sure my writing is proper) but this book had me wishing I could swallow a huge bottle of aspirin from all the grammatical mistakes and the over usage of “like” and “so”.
Let me begin this review by saying that I am an 80′s child. I started reading The Babysitter’s Club, Fear Street and Sweet Valley High when I was about 7. I grew up on Sweet Valley books. From SVH to Sweet Valley Twins to Sweet Valley University (released when I was about 14). So yes, when I saw that Sweet Valley Confidential was coming out, I had to have it. Even though I had to read SVC, my expectations were not high and that was definitely a good thing.
There is absolutely no sub-plot. Everything that happens in the book has to do with the “Liz hates Jessica” storyline. Everything else is simply flashbacks to explain the horrible tragedy that is Jess pissing off her older (by 4 minutes) sister. Which is funny in and of itself because if you have been any sort of a fan of Sweet Valley books, then you know that:
A) Jess and Liz fight in pretty much every book
B) Jess is always the one screwing up and feeling horrendously sorry afterwards
C) Liz always claims that she will never forgive her selfish twin for hurting her yet again
D) Liz and Jess always make up.
The only real difference for this book is that Liz is now in New York and has become this extremely bitter, emo Liz who hates everyone and everything and decides that revenge is the best idea ever in order to get over her pain. And you were the smart twin? Such a pity.
In the spirit of not spoiling anything for any future readers, I’m not actually going to rehash the plot (such as it is). Instead, I’m going to discuss a few things that truly bothered me about Sweet Valley Confidential. Ready? I promise that I’ll keep the spoilers to a minimum.
My Top 10 Things That I Truly Hated About Sweet Valley Confidential:
01) To start of this list, did you know that this is actually the FIRST Sweet Valley novel that Francine Pascal has ever written? Let’s let that sink in for just a moment. Sweet Valley High was created 28 years ago, with 8 spin-off series, a grand total of 606 books that spanned those series and not ONE of them was written by Francine Pascal until now. Can I have that job please? Seriously. I have tons of ideas! Anyway, in my opinion it is a benefit that FP never wrote one of the previous books, or the series never would have taken off the way it did. It is painfully obvious that FP also never read the previous books. I do think that Googling the characters that she included in the book, probably would have been a great idea. Example: Redhead A.J. Morgan was introduced in book #48 of SVH after his family moved to Sweet Valley. So it is not plausible that a dirty blonde A.J. Morgan felt up a 7th grade Jessica Wakefield.
02) Jessica Wakefield has never, in all 606 books, ever said “like” or “so” as many times as she did in this one lone book. I don’t know how Francine Pascal view Californians, but saying like or so after every word is not a California thing. It is a Valley Girl stereotype that is used in movies for humor, sure. I will even concede that there are some so-called Valley Girls that do say like. But definitely not as often as suggested by this book. Jessica was always one of my favorite characters. Yes, she was selfish, shallow and inconsiderate. But she was also a ton of fun, adventurous and fiercely loyal to her family. She was never the miserable doormat that has was portrayed as in SVC.
03) Elizabeth Wakefield has been prone to several emo fits throughout the run of the series. But for the so-called level-headed, intelligent and studious twin to resort to a cheap revenge scheme to try and shame her twin? That is not the Elizabeth that I grew up with. Not even in the slightest. This Elizabeth actually had me cringing anytime I had to read her side. Not from the pain she was caused, but from the loathing that I had for what she had become. Also, the twins are now 27. I always expected big things from Liz. You know. More of the stuff she was doing in SVU. Discovering atheltics scandals and secret hate societies on campus. Writing for a throw-away newspaper about Off Broadway shows, was not exactly what I had pictured. Talk about a let down.
04) Bruce Patman is Elizabeth’s best friend. Yes, you read that correctly. Bruce Patman. The rich, arrogant snob that everyone loved to hate. He is Elizabeth’s best friend. The one she turns to whenever her life throws her a curve ball. They are close in fact, that it is described as how he had received several 3am phone calls from her when she first moved to New York. The same Bruce Patman that took advantage of a whacked out of her mind Elizabeth, soon after her coma-induced personality change, and attempted to rape her. But you know, they’re best friends. I understand that people change and that often people forgive a lot of character flaws. But that seems like a HUGE character flaw to just forget about.
05) Todd Wilkins is one of the main protagonists. I should have known that he would be, but I was really hoping he wouldn’t be. And of course, Liz has to rehash her love for Todd throughout the majority of the book. The same Todd Wilkins who dumped her in SVU after she wouldn’t sleep with him, and then who turned around and slept with the first jock jumper he saw. God, Liz. You sure know how to pick them.
06) Flashback. I enjoy an occasional flashback as much as the next person. But each chapter had at least 2 flashbacks up until Chapter 15. No, I’m not kidding.
07) What is with FP’s idea of a relationship? It’s like none of these people have ever left high school. They sleep with someone once and all of a sudden they are in a relationship. It’s 2011. Guess what. People have sex all the time. Sex is simply that. Sex. Confusing sex by calling it a relationship is just not okay. That would explain why the majority of Sweet Valley is miserable. Which brings us to:
08) Why is everyone is Sweet Valley so effing miserable? I don’t think that there was one happy character and certainly not a happy couple. With the possible exception of Alice and Ned. (Although there is an absolutely hilarious moment when Alice gets pissed at all the screaming going on and drops an f-bomb. That was classic.) Everyone is sleeping with everyone else and no one is happy at all. At least in SVH there were still friendships. Oh wait, I forgot. Liz is friends with her attempted rapist. All is right in the world.
09) Did you know that the Wakefield’s joined the country club back when the twins were 12? Yeah, I didn’t either. Especially since throughout most of the SVH series Jessica is always bitching at the fact that Lila and Bruce are members of the club but her family was not.
10) Everyone is a blonde it appears. A.J. Morgan now has dirty blonde hair and Lila Fowler now has blonde streaks. Not everyone in California is a blonde, Francine Pascal.
It’s obvious that I was disappointed in Sweet Valley Confidential. Was I expecting a Pulitzer prize winning novel? No. But I was expecting a book that would be like reuniting with a group of old friends. This is more like reuniting with a group of people you hated and hoped to never see again. And I’m sorry. I have to mention it yet again. I am far from being a grammar nazi (although yes, I try my best to make sure my writing is proper) but this book had me wishing I could swallow a huge bottle of aspirin from all the grammatical mistakes and the over usage of “like” and “so”.
May 11, 2012
If ever I had a guilty pleasure, it would be this book. Yes, I was a Sweet Valley High fan back in the day, and when I saw this for $5 in the bargain section of Barnes and Noble, I just couldn't resist. I'm almost embarrassed to have this on my list, but then again I'll bet some of my GoodReads buddies secretly would want to read it too! Something tells me this is going to be a piss-poor disappointment, but I'll give it a go anyway.
Review as of May 10, 2012 - OK, I've finished the book, and despite all of the horrible reviews of this book on good reads from other readers, I'm giving it 3 stars (in fact, 3.5 if I could). Yes, it is cheesy and ridiculous and the story line is completely absurd. So why 3.5 stars? IT'S A SWEET VALLEY HIGH BOOK. Of course it's absurd and silly! It's supposed to be! If everyone went back and read through all of the original books we'd all say, 'Ick. How did we read this crap?' It's fun. And this book was fun and easy. So there.
If anyone out there was a SVH fan and is looking for a fun and mindless read, then go ahead and indulge in this book.
Review as of May 10, 2012 - OK, I've finished the book, and despite all of the horrible reviews of this book on good reads from other readers, I'm giving it 3 stars (in fact, 3.5 if I could). Yes, it is cheesy and ridiculous and the story line is completely absurd. So why 3.5 stars? IT'S A SWEET VALLEY HIGH BOOK. Of course it's absurd and silly! It's supposed to be! If everyone went back and read through all of the original books we'd all say, 'Ick. How did we read this crap?' It's fun. And this book was fun and easy. So there.
If anyone out there was a SVH fan and is looking for a fun and mindless read, then go ahead and indulge in this book.
April 10, 2011
Someone needs to tell Francine Pascal that she shouldn't write about things she obviously despises because there is no doubt in my mind after reading Sweet Valley Confidential: Ten Years Later that there is no love left in her heart these days for Elizabeth, Jessica, or anyone else from the Sweet Valley world she created.
This book reads like a poorly done Jackie Collins novel. It's badly written (should have let the ghostwriters write this one too, Pascal) and changes the characters personalities, lifestyles, love interests, etc. just for the sake of being shocking. It makes fun of all the Sweet Valley series loyal fans, and I wish I hadn't read it.
My advice: Don't waste your time or your money on this one.
This book reads like a poorly done Jackie Collins novel. It's badly written (should have let the ghostwriters write this one too, Pascal) and changes the characters personalities, lifestyles, love interests, etc. just for the sake of being shocking. It makes fun of all the Sweet Valley series loyal fans, and I wish I hadn't read it.
My advice: Don't waste your time or your money on this one.
November 30, 2011
This book. At one point I actually threw the book on the floor and fumed for a bit before picking it up and forcing myself to finish. I haven't done that since I wasted my time on two Phillipa Gregory novels. I didn't think there was anything as bad as Phillipa Gregory, but this book is.
I knew that it was going to be bad, because I'd read other reviews. But I was hoping it would be funny-bad, like watching Twilight movies when drunk. It was not. My eyes hurt from rolling them so hard at Elizabeth's whinging and Jessica's crying and why is everyone in/from Sweet Valley an asshole doing asshole things except for BRUCE? Also, not enough Lila, who is the best at being an asshole.
Highlight was Alice Wakefield swearing it up at Gram's birthday party. I also busted out laughing at the "sexy" scene. Hey, a laugh!
I knew that it was going to be bad, because I'd read other reviews. But I was hoping it would be funny-bad, like watching Twilight movies when drunk. It was not. My eyes hurt from rolling them so hard at Elizabeth's whinging and Jessica's crying and why is everyone in/from Sweet Valley an asshole doing asshole things except for BRUCE? Also, not enough Lila, who is the best at being an asshole.
Highlight was Alice Wakefield swearing it up at Gram's birthday party. I also busted out laughing at the "sexy" scene. Hey, a laugh!
April 4, 2011
I remember reading SVH and SVU as a middle school student, somewhere between my baby-sitters club phase and my anne rice phase. I was looking forward to reading this book like I look forward to seeing old friends. Sweet Valley Confidential was a slap in the face to nostalgic fans of old. It read like a parody...Francine Pascal obviously has her issues with the sweet valley series and went out of her way to ruin it by making her characters unrecognizeable and unlikeable (even elizabeth!). The plot was unoriginal, the writing was awful (what was with the word "like" coming up every other word? yes, this may be the way some people speak, but it doesn't show up in serious writing for good reason!), and you could tell that Ms. Pascal did not have any affection for her work. Everyone knows that every book in every sweet valley series was ghost-written, and reading Francine Pascal made me long for ghost-writers. It's a shame that my first Goodreads review was so terrible. I may have to review some fine literature to make up for it, or dig to find SVU books and review those...they weren't fine literature, but they were solid 3 star books. Giving Sweet Valley Confidential 1 star was generous.
April 20, 2019
SPOILERS:
Much like the sequel to "My sweet Audrina (don't read it please) this is the same let down. Who are these people? I don't know them. I read the sweet valley high series as a kid, of coarse I did.
This is not what would have happened. Todd hated Jessica. And how can one en joy a novel when the word "like" is used in almost every paragraph? Nobody speaks that way.
A real let down. Like really!
Much like the sequel to "My sweet Audrina (don't read it please) this is the same let down. Who are these people? I don't know them. I read the sweet valley high series as a kid, of coarse I did.
This is not what would have happened. Todd hated Jessica. And how can one en joy a novel when the word "like" is used in almost every paragraph? Nobody speaks that way.
A real let down. Like really!
April 1, 2011
I can't do it. It breaks my heart, but I don't think I will be able to finish this book. I have forced myself to page 138, but to be honest, that was only because I was stuck at the hospital with nothing else to do while I waited for my mother to come out of surgery. This is, quite possibly, the worst book I've ever read. And I've read a lot of crap.
I can sum up the majority of my distaste for this book in one annoying little word. "Like." This series was like written in the like 1980's and like 90's and the girls who like read it are now like in their like 30's and 40's. We do not like speak like this like. I found myself skipping entire passages of Jessica's in order to escape this word. I feel as though Pascal woke up one morning as said, "Hey, this is how kids talk now, so let's throw a like here... and a like here... and oh wait, a like here..." As an avid teen fiction reader, I am even more apalled by the fact that this book is specifically for adult fans, as I've never read a teen novel where the character's inner dialogue is so abysmally childish.
It also felt to me that Pascal's sentence structure was choppy throughout. For instance:
"Jessica squeezed his hand and smiled, but she said nothing.
Until they got to the house, and then miraculously, she turned back into Jessica the adorable."
Is it just me, or should that all have been one sentence that was poorly broken into two for unsuccessful dramatic effect?
On top of all this, the timeline is horrendous. I understand the need for flashbacks, but they just don't work if they aren't placed properly.
And seriously, did Pascal do any research for this book??? Ugh.
I'm just going to stop here, because I can sense I am entering a deep depression following the loss of such fond memories of my childhood friends, Elizabeth and Jessica Wakefield. Once I have recovered, I am certain I will have to read at least the first five books of the original series in order to forget the despair this piece of literary garbage has brought upon me.
I can sum up the majority of my distaste for this book in one annoying little word. "Like." This series was like written in the like 1980's and like 90's and the girls who like read it are now like in their like 30's and 40's. We do not like speak like this like. I found myself skipping entire passages of Jessica's in order to escape this word. I feel as though Pascal woke up one morning as said, "Hey, this is how kids talk now, so let's throw a like here... and a like here... and oh wait, a like here..." As an avid teen fiction reader, I am even more apalled by the fact that this book is specifically for adult fans, as I've never read a teen novel where the character's inner dialogue is so abysmally childish.
It also felt to me that Pascal's sentence structure was choppy throughout. For instance:
"Jessica squeezed his hand and smiled, but she said nothing.
Until they got to the house, and then miraculously, she turned back into Jessica the adorable."
Is it just me, or should that all have been one sentence that was poorly broken into two for unsuccessful dramatic effect?
On top of all this, the timeline is horrendous. I understand the need for flashbacks, but they just don't work if they aren't placed properly.
And seriously, did Pascal do any research for this book??? Ugh.
I'm just going to stop here, because I can sense I am entering a deep depression following the loss of such fond memories of my childhood friends, Elizabeth and Jessica Wakefield. Once I have recovered, I am certain I will have to read at least the first five books of the original series in order to forget the despair this piece of literary garbage has brought upon me.
March 23, 2013
I've heard terrible reviews on this book, but I just had to read it for myself! Sweet Valley! Oh my gosh, I loved these books when I was young! I read all the Sweet Valley Twins when I was in 5th and 6th grade, then started the Sweet Valley High set in 7th grade. I'm sure I've read them all!
Well, I was pleasantly surprised! It was a really good visit back to Sweet Valley! I'm guessing the reviews had to do more with people's reactions to their favorite characters. But what is Sweet Valley without some drama? Did you really think everyone was going to live happily ever after?
So the big secret that the synopsis promises? Its a game changer! (This is not a spoiler, its brought up right away in the book!) The betrayal--Jessica and Todd! I kid you not! Todd cheats on Elizabeth with Jessica, and now Todd and Jessica are getting married! Elizabeth is, understandably super pissed off about this, and has turned a complete 180! She is no longer the sweet, kind soul we loved in the previous books! She is a woman looking for revenge!
Jessica, on the other hand, hasn't really changed all that much. She is completely in love with Todd. I guess you would hope so, to betray her sister! Todd came across as an arse in this book. Meanwhile, Bruce has also turned a 180, and is Elizabeth's best friend! Lila Fowler, Ken Matthew, and Caroline Pearce also have not changed one bit. Be prepared for some other game changers from Steven Wakefield, Winston Egbert, and Enid (can't think of her last name)! In fact, Enid hardly makes the story!
A lot of the story is comprised of flashbacks that shows the reader what really happened to change all these characters so much. Francine Pascal could write a whole new series just on these flashbacks alone! But considering how unhappy most fans seem with this book, I'm guessing it won't be in our future! The ending was perfect for me! It was not was I was expecting, but I loved it!
Well, I was pleasantly surprised! It was a really good visit back to Sweet Valley! I'm guessing the reviews had to do more with people's reactions to their favorite characters. But what is Sweet Valley without some drama? Did you really think everyone was going to live happily ever after?
So the big secret that the synopsis promises? Its a game changer! (This is not a spoiler, its brought up right away in the book!) The betrayal--Jessica and Todd! I kid you not! Todd cheats on Elizabeth with Jessica, and now Todd and Jessica are getting married! Elizabeth is, understandably super pissed off about this, and has turned a complete 180! She is no longer the sweet, kind soul we loved in the previous books! She is a woman looking for revenge!
Jessica, on the other hand, hasn't really changed all that much. She is completely in love with Todd. I guess you would hope so, to betray her sister! Todd came across as an arse in this book. Meanwhile, Bruce has also turned a 180, and is Elizabeth's best friend! Lila Fowler, Ken Matthew, and Caroline Pearce also have not changed one bit. Be prepared for some other game changers from Steven Wakefield, Winston Egbert, and Enid (can't think of her last name)! In fact, Enid hardly makes the story!
A lot of the story is comprised of flashbacks that shows the reader what really happened to change all these characters so much. Francine Pascal could write a whole new series just on these flashbacks alone! But considering how unhappy most fans seem with this book, I'm guessing it won't be in our future! The ending was perfect for me! It was not was I was expecting, but I loved it!
August 7, 2012
Listen, y'all. I love me some Steinbeck as much as the next bookworm. But sometimes, you have to fluff everything up with some pure, unadulterated shit. As soon as this horrible book came out, I had it on my eReader.
And I burned through it in one evening.
I should clarify - I grew up with Jessica and Elizabeth. They made me want to be blonde, to have a twin, to be the bubbly, vivacious girl (Jessica) while inside I was really the nerdy one (Elizabeth). I desperately wanted to be friends with Lila and have her take me shopping in her lime-green Triumph. As I grew older, I realized it was absurd to have THAT MANY BOYFRIENDS WHO DIED, and for a massive earthquake to happen on your seventeenth birthday and kill one of your best friends. I did quite enjoy the Senior Year series, and the diary-like entries between chapters (I tried to find the fonts for ages!).
Anyway, Elizabeth finally gets her due! After furiously moving to New York following a scandal in which she found out Jessica and Todd (wut) were having an affair (wut) while she and Todd were dating, Elizabeth is forced to return for their wedding (WUT). Much to my surprise, she attends, quite happily, with Bruce Patman (wut) after having some incredibly gratifying sex with him (WUT).
Well, okay.
I wasn't expecting anything as glorious as the book in which Sam died, because that one was riveting, and I dropped it in the bathtub and I still read it numerous times with all its ripply pages, but for a stupid piece of fluff? Man, did it deliver! It's a shitstorm. A glorious, glorious shitstorm. The writing is atrocious, the plot is ridiculous, but if you want to know what happens to your SVH friends, it's worth downloading, at least.
And now I've found out there are sequels to this? Oh man, I can't wait.
And I burned through it in one evening.
I should clarify - I grew up with Jessica and Elizabeth. They made me want to be blonde, to have a twin, to be the bubbly, vivacious girl (Jessica) while inside I was really the nerdy one (Elizabeth). I desperately wanted to be friends with Lila and have her take me shopping in her lime-green Triumph. As I grew older, I realized it was absurd to have THAT MANY BOYFRIENDS WHO DIED, and for a massive earthquake to happen on your seventeenth birthday and kill one of your best friends. I did quite enjoy the Senior Year series, and the diary-like entries between chapters (I tried to find the fonts for ages!).
Anyway, Elizabeth finally gets her due! After furiously moving to New York following a scandal in which she found out Jessica and Todd (wut) were having an affair (wut) while she and Todd were dating, Elizabeth is forced to return for their wedding (WUT). Much to my surprise, she attends, quite happily, with Bruce Patman (wut) after having some incredibly gratifying sex with him (WUT).
Well, okay.
I wasn't expecting anything as glorious as the book in which Sam died, because that one was riveting, and I dropped it in the bathtub and I still read it numerous times with all its ripply pages, but for a stupid piece of fluff? Man, did it deliver! It's a shitstorm. A glorious, glorious shitstorm. The writing is atrocious, the plot is ridiculous, but if you want to know what happens to your SVH friends, it's worth downloading, at least.
And now I've found out there are sequels to this? Oh man, I can't wait.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 6, 2011
Original post at One More Page
If there was a book that I could blame for my being a bookworm, it is definitely Francine Pascal's Sweet Valley. I didn't start with SVH like most people (and I hardly read them, now that I think about it) -- I started with Sweet Valley Kids after I saw my classmate reading it back when I was in 3rd grade. When I grew older, I started on Sweet Valley Twins, and read so much more Sweet Valley after that. I remember even getting random Sweet Valley books from Book Sale whenever I needed a quick read because that's what Sweet Valley has always been for me: quick, easy and comforting reads. A reminder that somewhere, somehow life can be absolutely perfect (even if it sets a totally bad standard). :)
It's been years since I last read a Sweet Valley book, so when news of Sweet Valley Confidential came out, I knew it just had to be one of the books I must read this year. No excuses -- as a girl who practically grew up in Sweet Valley, there is no way I cannot read this. :-)
So I'll keep the summary brief to avoid spoilers. It's roughly 11 years since Sweet Valley High, and Elizabeth is living on her own in New York City, refusing to answer her sister's calls. She is lonely and angry, and the only person she is willing to talk to from her hometown is conceited rich boy Bruce Patman, who is now her best friend. What happened to Elizabeth? Why is she refusing to answer her sister's calls? What did Jessica do that made sweet, calm and well-loved Elizabeth Wakefield flee and close her doors? And how did she become best friends with 1BRUCE1, of all people?
When I finished reading the book, I knew I looked like this (thanks, Hyperbole and a Half for the accurate illustration):
I know some of my friends and Twitter followers have read my reaction, and I can't help it. When I finished the last page of the (e)book, I actually sat on the bed and stared into space, wondering what the heck just happened to what I read.
The appeal of this book lies in the nostalgia it brings. I didn't really read that many SVH books but I was still familiar with the people there -- Lila, Ken, Steven, Todd, etc. It was definitely a trip down memory lane and I can't help but remember all those crazy stories that I read back then. The magic dolls, the numerous beach trips, the people who all wanted the twins dead or at least want to be them. Of course, since the books were written by ghost writers, continuity errors abound, but I can easily forgive that. It was fun seeing the characters and laughing at how silly they all were and are, even after 11 years. Sometimes I want to shake them: Elizabeth, stop being angsty! Jessica why are you always crying? Todd! Caroline, why are you still meddling with your friends? Why haven't you all moved on from high school?!
It's not bad. In fact, I found Sweet Valley Confidential very entertaining, and it kept me amused while reading and hours after I finished reading. However, it was very brain-numbing, and it was probably because of the sheer ridiculousness of the plot. The twins are still perfect gorgeous beings that everyone loves no matter how self-absorbed they could be. You'd think that people would have grown up from their high school woes, but no, everyone's still hung up with old high school issues and hardly anyone has moved out. Come on -- I'm hardly in contact with some of my old high school friends. Was Elizabeth the only one brave enough to move away? Wait, scratch that -- it's not even bravery. She ran away from something, and if she were really and truly brave, she would have stayed to face the entire mess. Also, the big reveal of why Elizabeth left? TOTAL DUD. I expected more from you, Francine!
The writing leaves less to be desired, bordering on cheesy at times. The POV and tense switching can get a bit annoying, although I have to give it to Francine Pascal -- there were distinct differences in the characters' voices that made you know who was speaking a few lines in. Sometimes, though, I feel like she was drunk when she wrote some of the parts, or at least, very sleepy. "He heard her and turned to look but almost without recognition, so frantic was he." (p. 262) "So frantic was he"? Archaic-sounding much?
Now you see why I ended up like this after reading?
In the end, this book reminds me of what Jessica said in one of the Sweet Valley Jr. High books (I loved that spin-off -- probably my favorite of all the SV series). After she and her sister threw a party and invited their old middle school friends who ditched them when things were going bad at the party, Jessica realized what it means when people say, "You can never go home again." That is exactly what I felt after finishing Sweet Valley Confidential. I grew up in Sweet Valley, it's been fun hanging out with all those people, but I don't think I can ever feel at home with them. I think it's time to move out.
So. Do I recommend Sweet Valley Confidential ? It's not really that terrible. It's like reading a trashy romance novel (with trashy love scenes to boot!) or a gossip magazine about your favorite fictional characters. You have to expect that it's like that so you won't be annoyed at the time you spent reading this book. If you're just the curious kind who didn't really love (or at least like) the books before, I don't think you'd be able to finish this. But if you were a fan, get ready for a fun, mind-numbing and slightly ridiculous trip down memory lane. :)
If there was a book that I could blame for my being a bookworm, it is definitely Francine Pascal's Sweet Valley. I didn't start with SVH like most people (and I hardly read them, now that I think about it) -- I started with Sweet Valley Kids after I saw my classmate reading it back when I was in 3rd grade. When I grew older, I started on Sweet Valley Twins, and read so much more Sweet Valley after that. I remember even getting random Sweet Valley books from Book Sale whenever I needed a quick read because that's what Sweet Valley has always been for me: quick, easy and comforting reads. A reminder that somewhere, somehow life can be absolutely perfect (even if it sets a totally bad standard). :)
It's been years since I last read a Sweet Valley book, so when news of Sweet Valley Confidential came out, I knew it just had to be one of the books I must read this year. No excuses -- as a girl who practically grew up in Sweet Valley, there is no way I cannot read this. :-)
So I'll keep the summary brief to avoid spoilers. It's roughly 11 years since Sweet Valley High, and Elizabeth is living on her own in New York City, refusing to answer her sister's calls. She is lonely and angry, and the only person she is willing to talk to from her hometown is conceited rich boy Bruce Patman, who is now her best friend. What happened to Elizabeth? Why is she refusing to answer her sister's calls? What did Jessica do that made sweet, calm and well-loved Elizabeth Wakefield flee and close her doors? And how did she become best friends with 1BRUCE1, of all people?
When I finished reading the book, I knew I looked like this (thanks, Hyperbole and a Half for the accurate illustration):
I know some of my friends and Twitter followers have read my reaction, and I can't help it. When I finished the last page of the (e)book, I actually sat on the bed and stared into space, wondering what the heck just happened to what I read.
The appeal of this book lies in the nostalgia it brings. I didn't really read that many SVH books but I was still familiar with the people there -- Lila, Ken, Steven, Todd, etc. It was definitely a trip down memory lane and I can't help but remember all those crazy stories that I read back then. The magic dolls, the numerous beach trips, the people who all wanted the twins dead or at least want to be them. Of course, since the books were written by ghost writers, continuity errors abound, but I can easily forgive that. It was fun seeing the characters and laughing at how silly they all were and are, even after 11 years. Sometimes I want to shake them: Elizabeth, stop being angsty! Jessica why are you always crying? Todd! Caroline, why are you still meddling with your friends? Why haven't you all moved on from high school?!
It's not bad. In fact, I found Sweet Valley Confidential very entertaining, and it kept me amused while reading and hours after I finished reading. However, it was very brain-numbing, and it was probably because of the sheer ridiculousness of the plot. The twins are still perfect gorgeous beings that everyone loves no matter how self-absorbed they could be. You'd think that people would have grown up from their high school woes, but no, everyone's still hung up with old high school issues and hardly anyone has moved out. Come on -- I'm hardly in contact with some of my old high school friends. Was Elizabeth the only one brave enough to move away? Wait, scratch that -- it's not even bravery. She ran away from something, and if she were really and truly brave, she would have stayed to face the entire mess. Also, the big reveal of why Elizabeth left? TOTAL DUD. I expected more from you, Francine!
The writing leaves less to be desired, bordering on cheesy at times. The POV and tense switching can get a bit annoying, although I have to give it to Francine Pascal -- there were distinct differences in the characters' voices that made you know who was speaking a few lines in. Sometimes, though, I feel like she was drunk when she wrote some of the parts, or at least, very sleepy. "He heard her and turned to look but almost without recognition, so frantic was he." (p. 262) "So frantic was he"? Archaic-sounding much?
Now you see why I ended up like this after reading?
In the end, this book reminds me of what Jessica said in one of the Sweet Valley Jr. High books (I loved that spin-off -- probably my favorite of all the SV series). After she and her sister threw a party and invited their old middle school friends who ditched them when things were going bad at the party, Jessica realized what it means when people say, "You can never go home again." That is exactly what I felt after finishing Sweet Valley Confidential. I grew up in Sweet Valley, it's been fun hanging out with all those people, but I don't think I can ever feel at home with them. I think it's time to move out.
So. Do I recommend Sweet Valley Confidential ? It's not really that terrible. It's like reading a trashy romance novel (with trashy love scenes to boot!) or a gossip magazine about your favorite fictional characters. You have to expect that it's like that so you won't be annoyed at the time you spent reading this book. If you're just the curious kind who didn't really love (or at least like) the books before, I don't think you'd be able to finish this. But if you were a fan, get ready for a fun, mind-numbing and slightly ridiculous trip down memory lane. :)
April 21, 2011
Sweet Valley High (and all its spin-offs, from Twins to University) were pretty much all I read in elementary school and going into junior high, so obviously this book is a must-read.
Update: I finished this book in less than two days and I was left with very mixed feelings about it. I loved reading Elizabeth's chapters and learning about her new life as a journalist in NYC. Elizabeth has always been my favorite twin and it was nice to see her living the life she wanted (at least as far as her career was concerned). As for Jessica, I outright hated her in this book. I always knew she was self-centered and narcissistic but she had always had a charm to her too. In this book, there was no charm. She was just a cold-hearted bitch who slept with her twin's fiance. (Thinking back on SVH books, though, I have to admit that Jessica has done some pretty screwed up things in the past. The first thing that comes to mind is when she spiked her sister's drink at a school dance. Elizabeth ended up leaving the party with Jessica's boyfriend (Sam Woodruff? I'm not 100% sure on the name)-not aware she was drunk-and crashed the car, killing Sam instantly. Jessica basically called Elizabeth a murderer and did not fess up to her part in all of it until Elizabeth had already begun defending herself in court for the charge of manslaughter. Yep, pretty screwed up. Alright, enough of memory lane. On with book at hand.) I hated reading about that part when she had the [month long!!] affair with Todd in college. Reading about how it all happened did not justify it for me at all. She didn't even try to stop herself. They kissed once in the car and then sped to Todd's apartment to have sex, while poor Elizabeth was lying oblivious in her room, sick with the flu.
Reading Jessica's parts was not only frustrating for me because of her actions but also because it was just poorly written. There were so many "likes" and "sos' thrown into her narrative, and it was like so totally annoying to read. It also made her sound stupid, as if she really was just some dumb barbie-doll Valley girl.
I have to admit, though, that I started to warm up (a tiny bit) to her character once Elizabeth finally confronted her. The twins had been split apart for the whole book, and the first real scene when they're together doesn't happen until about 200 pages in. Just having the twin dynamic back made me more open to Jessica--I was becoming more like Elizabeth and willing to forgive her for anything. However, despite all that, I thought Elizabeth forgave her twin way too quickly. What Jessica did was incredibly wrong and she had no justification for it (I just wasn't buying that she and Todd were truly in love-they had zero chemistry). Even after everything she did, she still got her happy ending. Ugh.
However, I was really happy that Elizabeth got together with Bruce Patman in the end. I thought they made an interesting couple. It almost made up for the screwed up way that her and Todd's meant-to-be relationship ended.
All in all, I'd recommend that you don't buy this book but check it out from the library instead. I don't think it's worth spending money on, but it's not a waste of time to read either, especially if you're a die-hard SV fan.
Update: I finished this book in less than two days and I was left with very mixed feelings about it. I loved reading Elizabeth's chapters and learning about her new life as a journalist in NYC. Elizabeth has always been my favorite twin and it was nice to see her living the life she wanted (at least as far as her career was concerned). As for Jessica, I outright hated her in this book. I always knew she was self-centered and narcissistic but she had always had a charm to her too. In this book, there was no charm. She was just a cold-hearted bitch who slept with her twin's fiance. (Thinking back on SVH books, though, I have to admit that Jessica has done some pretty screwed up things in the past. The first thing that comes to mind is when she spiked her sister's drink at a school dance. Elizabeth ended up leaving the party with Jessica's boyfriend (Sam Woodruff? I'm not 100% sure on the name)-not aware she was drunk-and crashed the car, killing Sam instantly. Jessica basically called Elizabeth a murderer and did not fess up to her part in all of it until Elizabeth had already begun defending herself in court for the charge of manslaughter. Yep, pretty screwed up. Alright, enough of memory lane. On with book at hand.) I hated reading about that part when she had the [month long!!] affair with Todd in college. Reading about how it all happened did not justify it for me at all. She didn't even try to stop herself. They kissed once in the car and then sped to Todd's apartment to have sex, while poor Elizabeth was lying oblivious in her room, sick with the flu.
Reading Jessica's parts was not only frustrating for me because of her actions but also because it was just poorly written. There were so many "likes" and "sos' thrown into her narrative, and it was like so totally annoying to read. It also made her sound stupid, as if she really was just some dumb barbie-doll Valley girl.
I have to admit, though, that I started to warm up (a tiny bit) to her character once Elizabeth finally confronted her. The twins had been split apart for the whole book, and the first real scene when they're together doesn't happen until about 200 pages in. Just having the twin dynamic back made me more open to Jessica--I was becoming more like Elizabeth and willing to forgive her for anything. However, despite all that, I thought Elizabeth forgave her twin way too quickly. What Jessica did was incredibly wrong and she had no justification for it (I just wasn't buying that she and Todd were truly in love-they had zero chemistry). Even after everything she did, she still got her happy ending. Ugh.
However, I was really happy that Elizabeth got together with Bruce Patman in the end. I thought they made an interesting couple. It almost made up for the screwed up way that her and Todd's meant-to-be relationship ended.
All in all, I'd recommend that you don't buy this book but check it out from the library instead. I don't think it's worth spending money on, but it's not a waste of time to read either, especially if you're a die-hard SV fan.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 1, 2011
Let it just be said that, at 24 years old, I have been a fan of the world of Sweet Valley for over 2/3rds of my life. From the Unicorn Club to MAGNA editions, I have been with the girls since we were all seven years old. I knew, even then, as I kept my smuggled copies of various SVH books hidden in my 90s fantastic mini bookbag, as I was still only allowed to read kids & twins, that I was onto something fantastic - well, past self, you were so right! To be able to see them now in the present, with us in our twenties and the technological updates - iphones in sweet valley?! - it's exciting, thrilling, depressing to be this old, and, most importantly … just plain awesome.
You cannot read these books and expect the world. They are written with an extra slice of cheese, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I don't know how to review this book without letting my nostalgia take a hold of me, so I won't even bother. Let it just be said that, if you are or have ever been a fan of Sweet Valley, you are in for it. Hell, I kind of wept like a baby. The writing is more adult (clearly), but never lets you forget where it comes from - and you will laugh, groan, and roll your eyes remembering how far these two girls and their plethora of friends have come.
My only dislikes for the book: inserting "like" four hundred ways from Friday into Jessica's recall text, Liam entirely, the lack of concern from the gang over Wintson's death, and … I gotta say it. I'm a little butthurt over Todd & Liz not ending up happily ever after - but I certainly appreciate the drama! Todd & Liz split, Jessica snaked him away, it's the same old song & dance as forever …. but to have it be FINAL with a WEDDING ….. I'm licking my wounds! Moreso over the fact that we didn't get a lot of closure from Liz & Todd. To get a lowly "you know you'll always be special to me, Liz." from Todd as the big ~*~MAKEUP~*~ really irritated me. This is the biggest drama Sweet Valley has ever had! I needed at least a chapter or twenty of Todd & Liz saying goodbye to each other. Come on, Francine - I know Liz said the contents of Todd's letter were no longer important, but they were to me!! And I want to read them!
I hope that Sweet Valley Confidential is not the last time that I'll ever get to don my lavaliere necklace and turn onto Calico Drive in my Fiat convertible, but should it be so - the twins are together again, and that is all that really matters. Above all things, this book was an important testament to the bond between sisters who have been through it all and can still find reason to love one another. I will always be TEAM ELIZABETH, moreso now than ever … but I still kind of want to go to the mall with Jessica. Sweet Valley Confidential brought a close(to be determined?) to an era that will always be important to me, but paved the way for an entirely new cast of characters (spawn of Bruce & Liz say haaaaay!) to settle in and make their mark. If I never read another page of anything Sweet Valley, you had better believe that the immortal words of one Mrs. Alice Wakefield live on in EPIC infamy - "NED! BRING OUT THE FUCKING CAKE!"
You cannot read these books and expect the world. They are written with an extra slice of cheese, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I don't know how to review this book without letting my nostalgia take a hold of me, so I won't even bother. Let it just be said that, if you are or have ever been a fan of Sweet Valley, you are in for it. Hell, I kind of wept like a baby. The writing is more adult (clearly), but never lets you forget where it comes from - and you will laugh, groan, and roll your eyes remembering how far these two girls and their plethora of friends have come.
My only dislikes for the book: inserting "like" four hundred ways from Friday into Jessica's recall text, Liam entirely, the lack of concern from the gang over Wintson's death, and … I gotta say it. I'm a little butthurt over Todd & Liz not ending up happily ever after - but I certainly appreciate the drama! Todd & Liz split, Jessica snaked him away, it's the same old song & dance as forever …. but to have it be FINAL with a WEDDING ….. I'm licking my wounds! Moreso over the fact that we didn't get a lot of closure from Liz & Todd. To get a lowly "you know you'll always be special to me, Liz." from Todd as the big ~*~MAKEUP~*~ really irritated me. This is the biggest drama Sweet Valley has ever had! I needed at least a chapter or twenty of Todd & Liz saying goodbye to each other. Come on, Francine - I know Liz said the contents of Todd's letter were no longer important, but they were to me!! And I want to read them!
I hope that Sweet Valley Confidential is not the last time that I'll ever get to don my lavaliere necklace and turn onto Calico Drive in my Fiat convertible, but should it be so - the twins are together again, and that is all that really matters. Above all things, this book was an important testament to the bond between sisters who have been through it all and can still find reason to love one another. I will always be TEAM ELIZABETH, moreso now than ever … but I still kind of want to go to the mall with Jessica. Sweet Valley Confidential brought a close(to be determined?) to an era that will always be important to me, but paved the way for an entirely new cast of characters (spawn of Bruce & Liz say haaaaay!) to settle in and make their mark. If I never read another page of anything Sweet Valley, you had better believe that the immortal words of one Mrs. Alice Wakefield live on in EPIC infamy - "NED! BRING OUT THE FUCKING CAKE!"
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 20, 2011
Wtf. Wtf. Pretty much the single thought running through my head as I read this increasingly awful book. Words cannot describe the loathing I felt as I turned each page. Why did I finish it you might ask? Because I really hoped that Jessica or Todd would die. Yes I now hate both of them so incredibly much I wish one would die or maybe be put in prison for life and the other would have to live life alone and unloved. I'm also quite disappointed that there was a happy ending for the two of them. I hope they end up getting divorced in SV Thirty Years Later, but I won't be reading it myself.
I always liked Elizabeth more and thought Jessica was, like, so immature. Ten years, I am sorry to say, has not changed her maturity level.
The writing was indeed most awful. "It was in those endless hours in the chill of the hospital waiting room, waiting for a miracle that didn't come, that Bruce's life changes. He let the change in. It was almost overnight. When he came out of the grieving, he knew he was different." Again, wtf!? He let the change in? Makes him sound like he accepted the devil.
Did Pascal think she was doing us a favor? She should have let things rest. I don't know how SVU ended, I'd lost interest after Jessica's marriage, fake dead boyfriend, and Elizabeth's stalker madman. I should have taken that as a hint and realized that as adults their lives would be even more ridiculously abominable.
The only happy marriage seems to be Alice and Ned Wakefield, but one daughter is a cheating backstabber and they still adore her, which ends up making me dislike them immensely.
An utter waste of time read.
Zero stars.
I always liked Elizabeth more and thought Jessica was, like, so immature. Ten years, I am sorry to say, has not changed her maturity level.
The writing was indeed most awful. "It was in those endless hours in the chill of the hospital waiting room, waiting for a miracle that didn't come, that Bruce's life changes. He let the change in. It was almost overnight. When he came out of the grieving, he knew he was different." Again, wtf!? He let the change in? Makes him sound like he accepted the devil.
Did Pascal think she was doing us a favor? She should have let things rest. I don't know how SVU ended, I'd lost interest after Jessica's marriage, fake dead boyfriend, and Elizabeth's stalker madman. I should have taken that as a hint and realized that as adults their lives would be even more ridiculously abominable.
The only happy marriage seems to be Alice and Ned Wakefield, but one daughter is a cheating backstabber and they still adore her, which ends up making me dislike them immensely.
An utter waste of time read.
Zero stars.
Read
August 7, 2012Some choice excerpts:
"Girls were just conquests to [Bruce], until Regina Morrow. It was different with her. He fell in love for the first time. But he wasn't ready for that kind of exclusive love, and he screwed up. He hadn't lost the habit of other girls, and she found out. He never got a second chance. She went to that party with the drugs, tried some cocaine, and it killed her."
"The pizzas come just as Robin Wilson, an old Sweet Valley High friend, walks in with Dan Kane, a lawyer I know from Steven Wakefield's office. He's slim but he's got that hidden threat of an incipient eater with the rounded cheeks and the beginnings of a small softness around his middle. He's a good guy.....the perfect date for Robin, who is deep into the catering business. A courageous choice for someone who fought her weight in high school."
"Jessica was right, he wasn't the best-looking and he did have one blue eye and one brown eye, but he had everything else-- he was smart, funny, and he had a heart."
"Charlie Markus, a truly nice guy, came [to the wedding] with his wife, Annie Whitman, aka Easy Annie, the girl he saved in high school by teaching her to have self-respect."
"Girls were just conquests to [Bruce], until Regina Morrow. It was different with her. He fell in love for the first time. But he wasn't ready for that kind of exclusive love, and he screwed up. He hadn't lost the habit of other girls, and she found out. He never got a second chance. She went to that party with the drugs, tried some cocaine, and it killed her."
"The pizzas come just as Robin Wilson, an old Sweet Valley High friend, walks in with Dan Kane, a lawyer I know from Steven Wakefield's office. He's slim but he's got that hidden threat of an incipient eater with the rounded cheeks and the beginnings of a small softness around his middle. He's a good guy.....the perfect date for Robin, who is deep into the catering business. A courageous choice for someone who fought her weight in high school."
"Jessica was right, he wasn't the best-looking and he did have one blue eye and one brown eye, but he had everything else-- he was smart, funny, and he had a heart."
"Charlie Markus, a truly nice guy, came [to the wedding] with his wife, Annie Whitman, aka Easy Annie, the girl he saved in high school by teaching her to have self-respect."
May 5, 2011
I owned practically all the Sweet Valley High books when I was a teenager, so of course I had to read this. Was it terrible? Yes. Did I expect it to be good? Nope. Is that ok? Definitely. Just please, tell me SVH wasn't this bad (who am I kidding, of course it was!)
March 3, 2026
someone on here said this was the worst book ever written and i said oh don’t be so dramatic but they were right. i can’t even get started on the fact that i don’t think the author has ever met twins or maybe even sisters. fatphobic, homophobic, catty, disingenuous, and a terrible font choice on top of all that. i’m actually proud that my library doesn’t own this book and i had to get it from another one.
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