Heartbreak: New Approaches to Healing - Recovering from lost love and mourning

by Ginette Paris

Look at your broken heart with the curiosity of a naturalist, as you would pay close attention to your pet, to understand what is going on. The pain of mourning and heartbreak is neurologically similar to being submitted to torture. There seems to be only one way to end that agony and to limit somatic damage; neurobiology calls it an evolutionary jump and psychologists call it an increase in consciousness. Past theories of grief therapy considered recovery from the point of view of a one-year cycle of mourning was supposed to heal the heart. Not so! A true Liberation of the Heart is a process of neurogenesis as well as a process of individuation, which means that the whole brain must re-configure its connections and its thinking about love and relationships. The good news is if you love, your heart should be broken at some point or other in your life. If not, your love may remain the innocent love of a child. This book explains what you need to understand in order to avoid victimization from the traumatic aspects of heartbreak and mourning. A wider definition of love and a deeper understanding of its psychology will free you of the obsession for the missing partner and will teach your heart to love in a wiser manner. Dr. Paris is the author, among other books, of Wisdom of the Depth Psychology after Neuroscience (Routledge 2007). She is core faculty at the Pacifica Graduate Institute in Santa Barbara (www.Pacifica.edu). James Hillman, the Pulitzer nominee and acclaimed author of psychology, wrote this about Ginette Paris's "She turns the page into a new century of psychology. What an achievement!"

Genres: Nonfiction

322 pages, Paperback

First published May 2, 2011

About the author

Ginette Paris Ph.D. is a psychologist, therapist and author of many books, including Wisdom of the Psyche: Depth Psychology after Neuroscience (Routledge 2007). She was trained as a psychologist in Montréal, Canada where she was a tenured professor in the Department of Communication of the U. of Québec in Montréal for 15 years. In 1995 she became a permanent US resident and a core faculty at the Pacifica Graduate Institute in Santa Barbara. Her books have been translated in French, German, Italian, Portuguese, Spanish. Her lectures and workshops, in the US, Canada and Europe, are usually done in collaboration with Pacifica's Public Events, or through The Foundation for Mythological Studies. Dr. Paris is a Honorary Member of the C.G. Jung Society of Montreal and serves on the editiorial board of Spring: A Journal of Archetype and Culture.

Reviews

[Lex · Rating 5 out of 5]

All counselors need to read this, all partners and ex-partners need to read this! Dr. Paris is one of the most refreshing Jungians I have read yet. If only I could've gotten my hands on this book sooner, but perhaps wasn't ready. Her balanced take on everything and her stubbornness in the face of "cultural bewitchment" is rejuvenating and freeing! I love her account of the psycho-rigid personality! I wish I could translate it into a PSA! It's so important to know how to help your clients decipher between real gold and fools gold.

[Elizabeth Ehlen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Heartbreak is common occurrence, a shared experience as part of the human condition. The thing is, when we experience it, we are sure that we are the only one, or at least we are the worst example of it. We are not of course, and the way your brain processes this type of loss can greatly affect future relationships. How do we move past our greatest traumas, and not only survive but thrive?

I am a social worker, and deal with clients who experience grief, loss, heartbreak and trauma. I LOVED this text, and at certain points - particularly when talking about “Big Mommy” and staying in an infantile state rather than moving past your grief - made me quite literally applaud. I think that while academic, this is written in an easily accessible, conversational style that anyone can understand. Indeed, I think it is quite critical for those of us in the helping professions read this because I have noticed that we are increasingly dealing with an anxious, coddled, and overwrot society who cannot seem to move past a victimized state. While acknowledging the importance of neuroscience and medicine, Paris rightly points out that we must bring in metaphor and and your personal GPS from a more humanities angle in order to place ourselves and therefore move from the state we are wallowing in. I think that we can all benefit from this clear and concise information and implement it for a variety of heartbreaking events, both as counselors and as run of the mill, heartbroke humans. Nice work.

[Katie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Heartbreak, Mourning, Loss is a book about those three subjects. It is written in a conversational tone, which is good because otherwise this might have gone over my head. By far my favourite chapter was Number One, on metaphors and GPS. Never thought about the importance of metaphors in that way before reading this. Chapter Eight is also a food for thought chapter. Author Ginette Paris uses case stories which are really quite fascinating to read and have the perspective of seeing where our behaviour can come from. This is a book that I feel has challenged what I previously thought and makes me want to re-evaluate.

[Stephanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

mythopoetry.com has published a depth review of this book in volume 3 Mythopoetry Scholar eZine, 2012; reviewer, Steve Wood. The review url is http://mythopoetry.com/mythopoetics/s....

[Rochelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

great use of Jungian, literary, and other theories of attachment and individuation to explain and shed more light on the aftermath of a break up, the broken heart, and what it can teach us.

[Andy Anaya · Rating 5 out of 5]

From the very first page this book did wonders for my temperament during the early stages of coping with my divorce.