Too Much to Dream: A Psychedelic American Boyhood

by Peter Bebergal, Peter Coyote (Foreword)

Growing up in the suburbs of Boston and raised on secular Judaism, Cocoa Puffs, and Gilligan’s Island, Peter Bebergal was barely in his teens when the ancient desire to finding higher spiritual meaning in the universe struck. Already schooled in mysticism by way of comic books, Dungeons & Dragons, and Carlos Castaneda, he turned to hallucinogens, convinced they would provide a path to illumination.

Was this profound desire for God—a god he believed that could only be apprehended by an extreme state of altered consciousness—simply a side effect of the drugs? Or was it a deeper human longing that was manifesting itself, even on a country club golf course at the edge of a strip mall?

Too Much to Dream places Bebergal’s story within the cultural history of hallucinogens, American fascination with mysticism, and the complex relationship between drug addiction, popular culture, rock ‘n’ roll, occultism, and psychology. With a captivating foreword by Peter Coyote, and interviews with writers, artists, and psychologists such as Dennis McKenna, James Fadima, Arik Roper, Jim Woodring, and Mark Tulin, Bebergal offers a groundbreaking exploration of drugs, religion, and the craving for spirituality entrenched in America’s youth.

Genres: Nonfiction, Drugs, Biography, Sociology

256 pages, Paperback

First published October 1, 2011

About the author

Peter Bebergal is the author of Season of the Witch: How the Occult Saved Rock and Roll, Too Much to Dream: A Psychedelic American Boyhood and The Faith between Us: A Jew and a Catholic Search for the Meaning of God (with Scott Korb). He writes widely on music and books, with special emphasis on the speculative and slightly fringe. His recent essays and reviews have appeared in The Times Literary Supplement, The Quietus, BoingBoing, and The Believer. Bebergal studied religion and culture at Harvard Divinity School, and lives in Cambridge, Massachusetts.

Reviews

[Robin Schoenthaler · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this book b/c he's a local guy (who I've never met), b/c I'm always trying to find good memoir by men, and b/c I find the continued -- often very subtle -- impact of the 60s and 70s a fascinating topic. I am of Peter's generation -- Siddhartha and Carlos Casteneda were required reading in my high school -- and I think he did a great job describing the psychedelic/spiritual/mystical experimentations and phenomenas of the 60s&70s, and this is one of the only books I've read that attempts to describe this period and its impacts.

The memoir part didn't work as well for me (I got very little sense of any of the characters around him, and sometimes lost track of his own timeline, particularly around "hitting bottom"), but I still salute his efforts to weave the personal and the very complex "political" including the impact on the War on Drugs, commercialization of the "Flower Power" period, and AA. It's the only book I've found that does so, and it's a worthwhile read for that alone.

[April Lyn · Rating 2 out of 5]

I received this book for free from Goodreads firstreads. The author autographed the copy to me, which was cool.

I am only about 25% done with the book, but I'll give some primary observations:

First, I think my generation (I was born in 1984) may be a little too far removed from the era that the author's writing about in order to fully understand/appreciate it. For that reason, the references are lost on me and the content isn't quite as interesting as I would have liked.

Second, I really enjoy a good memoir. I enjoy them because they tell about the author's personal experiences and I've found that no matter who the person is or what they're like, you (as the reader) can delight in having found common ground. Berbegal doesn't give a lot of "personal experiences" so 80 pages in, I still feel like he's a stranger. He has talked a lot about his generation's experiences, the experiences he might have had or wished he'd had, and (lots and lots of) general factoids about drugs, people, icons, singer/songwriters, books, bands, etc. Unfortunately, I'm not too interested in any of those things.

Third, though I was neither a jock nor a cheerleader in school, the stereotypes of these two groups are getting old. To think that the "jocks & cheerleaders" were so different from Berbegal - to think they didn't desire deeper spiritual lives, or enjoy comics, drugs and sex, etc. is really very ignorant. And I'm tired of it. Now anytime a jock or cheerleader is mentioned I find it distracting and irritating.

I realize those are all kinda negative. So I'll say the things that I really like. First, his writing is very good. I've found with many authors (and especially those writing memoirs/autobiographies) the writing is just atrocious. On a scale of 1-10, his writing is a 7.5. And I grade hard. Second, to the right crowd (as you can tell by other reviews), the information provided is not only interesting but insightful. I'll chalk this one up to being alive at the right time. Third, when he does actually talk about his own personal experiences, either as a child or teen, he's a pretty likable character.

[Jeffrey · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wow. This book does such a good job of describing and understanding my generation. It helped me connect my own pursuit of counter culture with a spiritual pursuit. As I rejected my naive past with its superstitions and pop spirituality, I rejected a legitimate spiritual inclination. Bebergal helped me to reevaluate and see my adolescent manias not simply as something to grow out of as quickly as possible, but as a positive search for god planted in the infertile soil of 70's and 80's pop- and counter-culture. Great read.

[Brian · Rating 3 out of 5]

I purchased the book after Peter Bebergal had an excellent appearance in a Gweek (BoingBoing) podcast. The memoir is a self-reflection on addiction; an history of hallucinogens and American mysticism and their relationship to drug addiction, comics, and music of the 60s, 70s, and 80s. An excellent foreword by Peter Coyote (unfortunately, Bebergal is not able to sustain that same high level of writing). The book has moments of fascinating insight but, unfortunately, is burdened with too much boilerplate history and often meandering narrative.

[Chris Brown · Rating 4 out of 5]

I feel like I know Peter after reading this book. I was born in 1966 and grew up sharing many of the same thoughts and experiences. I especially liked how he wrote about Dungeons and Dragons and the occult.

[Catie · Rating 3 out of 5]

i liked this book, i find books about drugs very fascinating, jumped around, it was pretty good,