Paint Your Dragon

by Tom Holt

The cosmic battle between Good and Evil ... But suppose Evil threw the fight? And suppose Good cheated?Sculptress Bianca Wilson is a living legend. St George is also a legend, but not quite so living. However, when Bianca's sculpture of the patron saint and his scaly chum gets a bit too 'life-like', it opens up a whole new can of wyrms... The Dragon knows that Evil got a raw deal and is looking to set the record straight. And George (who cheated) thinks the record's just fine as it is. Luckily for George, there's a coach-load of demons on an expenses-paid holiday from Hell who are only too happy to help him. Because a holiday from hell is exactly what they're about to get.

Genres: Fantasy, Humor, Fiction, Comedy, Dragons, Comic Fantasy, Ebooks

Paperback

First published January 1, 1996

About the author

Tom Holt (Thomas Charles Louis Holt) is a British novelist.
He was born in London, the son of novelist Hazel Holt, and was educated at Westminster School, Wadham College, Oxford, and The College of Law, London.
Holt's works include mythopoeic novels which parody or take as their theme various aspects of mythology, history or literature and develop them in new and often humorous ways. He has also produced a number of "straight" historical novels writing as Thomas Holt and fantasy novels writing as K.J. Parker.

Reviews

[Kristen Zamora · Rating 1 out of 5]

I love a dragon. And when I first saw this book I was all "omg dragon! And omg! Tom Holt!". I should have known there would be a lot of chit-chatting, it actually felt like an old woman firing away about inflation rates, new iPhones, gay marriages, porn, diarrhea, hypochondriacs, insurance policies, new nail polishes, begonias, petunias, dog poop and their connection to the weather.


Doesn't make any sense? Exactly.

Tom Holt never fails to prove he has a bad case of diarrhea . . . of the mouth. And I tell you, this book is the worst so far. No unexpected twists or bad ass endings to redeem the rubbish. It's like you woke up with the bed sheets all ruffled, went to deal with shit at work all day, came back only to find out the sheets are still ruffled, the bed undone, and the house a complete toddler mess. Bad...bad...bad. I need a long break Holt, I'll be seeing you when I read the other stories other writers have. TTFN!

[Tatum · Rating 4 out of 5]

Take Saint George, The Dragon, a feisty female sculptress, a bandit who steals and resells Time, statues that come to life, a group of demons on vacation and a legendary mercenary. Put them all in in modern day England for the rematch of the millennium. Mix well with a healthy dose of humour.

That's what you get with Paint Your Dragon. It's a lighthearted, funny, easy to read book that takes perceptions and turns them upside down. If you don't mind a little irreverence and an occasional swear word, then not only will you enjoy this book, it may make you think a little as well. What if perceptions aren't always what they seem?

Although Tom Holt crafts most of his stories from the basis of myths and legends and sets them in modern times and Terry Pratchett created a whole original world, I always associate these two authors in my mind. Maybe it's because I won't take either of their books on public transport for fear of looking crazy as I smile, snicker and cackle to myself. Maybe it's because despite the different way of going about it, they both have a similar way of making you see familiar concepts differently. Either way, they never disappoint.

[Glaiza · Rating 4 out of 5]

There's an old saying among dragons that every time a human says he doesn't believe in dragons, a human dies, and serve that cheeky bugger right.

So here's the gist of it: Way back when there was a big fight between Good (George) and Evil (a dragon named Fred). Good won, and Evil was vanquished. However, Good cheated and is a general jerkwad while Evil is actually a pretty nice guy.

Add a tired sculptress, a wise-cracking sidekick, a bunch of living statues, a talking computer, a team of lost devils, a businessman dealing with time, and what seems to be a witch doctor, well things are about to be confusing as heck.

I thought I would like this book a lot more than I did. That's not saying I didn't like it, I was just surprised that I didn't like it as much as I thought I would. Maybe it was the abrupt change in point of views. There were times where I had to read the paragraph again to make sure I didn't miss anything with the quick change of character voices.

But there are plenty of things to enjoy about it. I loved the quirky characters, the quality of use of gray areas, and the world was definitely an interesting one to live in. I usually live in the realm of suspension of disbelief when it comes to my books, but there are times when even I felt that I had to really flex that muscle harder than usual.

A good book, but I don't think I'll be rereading this one.

[Paul Knighton · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great romp of a plot turning its head the old tropes of St. George and the Dragon and their "accepted" roles of good vs evil.

A cast of well described characters makes the plot the right combination of sufficently fantastical & real, deep & shallow, dark & light, funny & sad, with plenty of silliness and laughter.

It's a real pantomime of a book with characters you root for and against with no one character all good or evil, or even what they first appear.

And, as in real life, no one really knows what's "really" going on. Even at the end. :)

[Martin Murco · Rating 5 out of 5]

Funny as always. I bought this book along with like 10 other Tom`s books in sale on Amazon for like 1$, its a steal. I like fantasy realities that Tom creates, witty and funny fusions of mystical and everyday life, often based on mythologies widely known to all. Always looking forward to start another one. So far i went through 12-15books by Tom and i was never disappointed.

[Michael Champion · Rating 4 out of 5]

While I found much tedious about the book, but it never took itself too seriously, and that made it fun to read.

[Matthew Lipson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Tom Holt is a prolific and entertaining author. Paint Your Dragon is one more in his canon of ever growing tales. It was humorous, entertaining, and full of fantastically realized characters. I particularly liked the dragon.

This book took on the concept of the fight between good and evil. It does explore some interesting philosophical concepts along the way in order to build the world that must exist for the story to properly develop. Unfortunately this bogs it down with side stories that feel they go nowhere even while fulfilling a much needed plot point. This happens often in his books, as I think he bites off more than he can chew in any one book.

That being said, I do like reading him and going back to read more of his work. I just wish he would slow down, as only the British seem to have the ability to write with humor in the Sci Fi/Fantasy genres. He is one of the masters, as his word craft is always on point and characters never thin.

[Kaila · Rating 1 out of 5]

I'm not a stranger to Holt. As a teenager, I read half-a-dozen of his books and enjoyed them. Now, I'm left wondering if teenage me was enjoying some pretty dire books or if Paint Your Dragon is an anomaly. I didn't finish it. It was, surprisingly, pretty dull considering it featured dragons, living statues, a terrible saint, demons, and the like.

If I'm bored for long enough, I drop it. I have far too many books in line to read.

[Olly Colluphid · Rating 3 out of 5]

A generous three. My least favourite of the Holt's so far.

I know the idea is that good/evil depends on perspective but... They are all unsympathetic and the dragon is actually evil too. And... Oh it just didn't grip.

[Usfromdk · Rating 2 out of 5]

Even if it's occasionally quite funny, this book was too confusing and unstructured for my taste; far from terrible, though.

[Linda · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book, very funny in parts although a little convoluted at times. He is a very clever writer.

[Mrs S E White · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very funny, just what you expect from this author

[Bart]

todo

[JackieB · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very funny but it was also exploring the nature of good and evil. The nature of good and evil theme confused me though. At first Tom Holt was using St George and the dragon in their legendary (English) roles and we appeared to be looking at good and evil in a cultural sense. Then he introduced a coachload of demons and references to heaven and remembered that St George was one of the Christian saints. He seemed to be saying that good and evil are defined by religions. That's when I started to get confused because he only referred to Christianity, but seemed to be arguing that good and evil are constructs of religions in general. I really didn't understand that, because athiests seem to agree with religious folk about some aspects of good and evil (e.g. murder and torture are bad things - there are more obviously). That suggests that good and evil are concepts which exist outside of religion. In the end, I decided that I just didn't understand the serious point that he was making and I just enjoyed the humour.

[Nathan Dehoff]

Here, Holt revisits the legend of St George and the Dragon, when the spirits of the originals come to possess statues made by a master sculptor. There are musings on the nature of good and evil, when St George turns out to be kind of a jerk, and the dragon just wants to live his life. Other statues come to life as well, and Kurt Lundqvist makes a return appearance. There's also a lost contingent of demons from Hell with whom the saint hangs around, his reasoning being that they're actually all on the same side. There are some plot threads that don't really go much of anywhere, but overall I liked this one.

[Zogman · Rating 3 out of 5]

I used to like Tom Holt and read a lot of his books. I decided to reprise my association with his type of humour. At about 65% progress in the book (Kindle) I remembered why I gave up reading Tom Holt. The books are always innovative and for a while his quirky sense of humour works well, but it does begin to wear after a while. Towards the end the genius of Holt comes back online. Good v Bad is never simply black and white, there are always shades of grey. Luckily not 50 Shades of Grey though!

[Matt · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of my favourite Tom Holt ones about two statues (A dragon and St George) that come to life. The dragon just wants to be left alone, while St George enjoys trying to use the modern advances in weaponry to blow it out the sky.

[Isabel (kittiwake) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Featuring a replay of the epic conflict between Saint George and the Dragon, along with statues coming to life, a possessed computer and some unexpectedly successful demon summoning by English devil-worshippers.

[Claire O-P · Rating 3 out of 5]

One I've tried to read several times. I struggled with this one more than some of his more recent stuff I've read, I don't know whether it was the subject matter, or just because his style has changed since he wrote this. But it was still very good! So glad I can finally tick it off.

[Ghazala Ansari · Rating 2 out of 5]

concept's crazy as usual and enjoyed the reading, but i thought the punch was missing - something that one just naturally expects from a tom holt.

[Simon · Rating 1 out of 5]

Dull indeed. Put me off trying anything else by this author.

[Crusader · Rating 3 out of 5]

An enjoyable enough read that pokes fun at the perception of good and evil. Nice light reading for when you need a break. If you like Pratchett you'll like this too.

[✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans) · Rating 4 out of 5]

I just LOVE Tom Holt! His books are always absolutely wacky and this one was no exception. I thought the demons on their paid holiday from Hell were particularly hilarious:)

[Dark-Draco · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brilliant! Good V Evil - but who's who? A bad saint and a good Dragon - you know it's going to be fun. I read this straight, over a couple of days, and found myself giggling aloud on occasion.