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Dave Barry's Guide to Marriage and/or Sex
No book can guarantee you a long and happy relationship, even if the author didn't know about your secret hygiene problem. But the cover of a book is no place to discuss that. In Dave Barry's Guide to Marriage and/or Sex , one of America's most beloved writers turns his keen, if somewhat rheumy, eye to the institution of marriage.
Dating. "These are nonstereotypical times we live in, by which I mean that it is the responsibility of the woman to think up excuses that get progressively more obvious until the man figures out that the woman would rather chew on a rat pancreas."
Sex. "I'm afraid that we must talk here about sex in a very explicit manner, because we want to expand the Frontiers of Human Understanding, and also we want to sell as many books as possible to adolescent boys."
Marriage. "Most squabbles start with money. For example, you want to buy food, while your spouse wants to buy a thoroughbred racehorse. It's important, in these situations, for both of you to be willing to sit down and try to achieve a workable compromise. In this case, you could buy a thoroughbred racehorse and eat it."
Dating. "These are nonstereotypical times we live in, by which I mean that it is the responsibility of the woman to think up excuses that get progressively more obvious until the man figures out that the woman would rather chew on a rat pancreas."
Sex. "I'm afraid that we must talk here about sex in a very explicit manner, because we want to expand the Frontiers of Human Understanding, and also we want to sell as many books as possible to adolescent boys."
Marriage. "Most squabbles start with money. For example, you want to buy food, while your spouse wants to buy a thoroughbred racehorse. It's important, in these situations, for both of you to be willing to sit down and try to achieve a workable compromise. In this case, you could buy a thoroughbred racehorse and eat it."
96 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1990
3 people are currently reading
178 people want to read
About the author
Dave Barry
152 books2,236 followersDave Barry is a humor writer. For 25 years he was a syndicated columnist whose work appeared in more than 500 newspapers in the United States and abroad. In 1988 he won the Pulitzer Prize for Commentary. Many people are still trying to figure out how this happened.
Dave has also written many books, virtually none of which contain useful information. Two of his books were used as the basis for the CBS TV sitcom "Dave's World," in which Harry Anderson played a much taller version of Dave.
Dave plays lead guitar in a literary rock band called the Rock Bottom Remainders, whose other members include Stephen King, Amy Tan, Ridley Pearson and Mitch Albom. They are not musically skilled, but they are extremely loud. Dave has also made many TV appearances, including one on the David Letterman show where he proved that it is possible to set fire to a pair of men's underpants with a Barbie doll.
In his spare time, Dave is a candidate for president of the United States. If elected, his highest priority will be to seek the death penalty for whoever is responsible for making Americans install low-flow toilets.
Dave lives in Miami, Florida, with his wife, Michelle, a sportswriter. He has a son, Rob, and a daughter, Sophie, neither of whom thinks he's funny.
Dave has also written many books, virtually none of which contain useful information. Two of his books were used as the basis for the CBS TV sitcom "Dave's World," in which Harry Anderson played a much taller version of Dave.
Dave plays lead guitar in a literary rock band called the Rock Bottom Remainders, whose other members include Stephen King, Amy Tan, Ridley Pearson and Mitch Albom. They are not musically skilled, but they are extremely loud. Dave has also made many TV appearances, including one on the David Letterman show where he proved that it is possible to set fire to a pair of men's underpants with a Barbie doll.
In his spare time, Dave is a candidate for president of the United States. If elected, his highest priority will be to seek the death penalty for whoever is responsible for making Americans install low-flow toilets.
Dave lives in Miami, Florida, with his wife, Michelle, a sportswriter. He has a son, Rob, and a daughter, Sophie, neither of whom thinks he's funny.
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Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews
February 13, 2024
23 Sept. 2017
Just finished Dave Barry's "Best.State.Ever." and loved it so much that I thought I would add the books I had previously read of his to my Goodreads list. This is the first one.
This book was written 30 years ago, and I read it not too long after that, so I don't remember many details, but I remember the title summed it up pretty well and I chuckled throughout.
If you like Dave Barry, this is classic stuff.
His humor really gets me going.
Just finished Dave Barry's "Best.State.Ever." and loved it so much that I thought I would add the books I had previously read of his to my Goodreads list. This is the first one.
This book was written 30 years ago, and I read it not too long after that, so I don't remember many details, but I remember the title summed it up pretty well and I chuckled throughout.
If you like Dave Barry, this is classic stuff.
His humor really gets me going.
April 5, 2020
This is the first Dave Barry book I've read that has been a bit of a disappointment. I just didn't find it as funny as most of his books. In fact, compared to the last one I read where I was continually laughing out loud, I hardly smiled through this one. I don't know if it was the subject matter or I just wasn't in the right frame of mind to appreciate the humor or what, but definitely not as amusing as the others. Hope the next one is better.
May 21, 2018
The pinnacle of 80's humour. He actually wrote this book as a book in 1990, it's not just a collection of articles. Tongue-in-cheek mock instructional on various related subjects.
November 14, 2018
Fun, silly, irreverent. Probably a good bathroom reader. A solid, if a bit dated, engagement gift.
December 5, 2022
I love Dave Barry but I found this book underwhelming. Much like its subject, ha ha ha.
Read
July 24, 2025A silly piece of fluff that's a good distraction once.
December 8, 2025
It's important for both of you to be willing to sit down together and try to achieve a workable conpromise.
March 22, 2017
I love Dave Barry. :-)
January 13, 2014
97 - 2014
Hahaha... emang bisa saja Mas Dave Barry ini.
Buat yang suka baca novel romance, berikut ku-copas sentilan Dave Barry di poin "Where to Get Additional Explicit Helpful Information on Sex":
The best source of reliable information is romance novels, which you can find in better bookstores and supermarkets everywhere. To know the books I mean--the cover always is a picture of a handsome and of course brooding man embracing a woman with green eyes and a bosom that is clearly heaving, sometimes most of the way out of her dress. The title is always something fairly humid, like Loins of Passion.
Dave Barry juga memberi contoh tentang adegan ranjang yang chock-full explicit, down-to-earth, practical "straight-talk" yang... sama seperti kovernya yang khas Historical Romance jadul, adegannya juga khas Hisrom banget model begini:
As Sabrina gazed upward at Baron LeGume, whose dark, brooding eyeballs were turgid with passion, she felt tormented tenseness of his throbbing, pulsating malehood, and she knew, with a knowledge borne of knowing, that she could no longer hold back the surging waves of passion that washed over her, like waves of something, as his brooding throbbing pulsating highly engorged lips sought hers, not that she wanted to hold them back...
Huahaha... adegannya benar-benar blur nggak jelas XD
Hahaha... emang bisa saja Mas Dave Barry ini.
Buat yang suka baca novel romance, berikut ku-copas sentilan Dave Barry di poin "Where to Get Additional Explicit Helpful Information on Sex":
The best source of reliable information is romance novels, which you can find in better bookstores and supermarkets everywhere. To know the books I mean--the cover always is a picture of a handsome and of course brooding man embracing a woman with green eyes and a bosom that is clearly heaving, sometimes most of the way out of her dress. The title is always something fairly humid, like Loins of Passion.
Dave Barry juga memberi contoh tentang adegan ranjang yang chock-full explicit, down-to-earth, practical "straight-talk" yang... sama seperti kovernya yang khas Historical Romance jadul, adegannya juga khas Hisrom banget model begini:
As Sabrina gazed upward at Baron LeGume, whose dark, brooding eyeballs were turgid with passion, she felt tormented tenseness of his throbbing, pulsating malehood, and she knew, with a knowledge borne of knowing, that she could no longer hold back the surging waves of passion that washed over her, like waves of something, as his brooding throbbing pulsating highly engorged lips sought hers, not that she wanted to hold them back...
Huahaha... adegannya benar-benar blur nggak jelas XD
May 25, 2011
"I'm sorry, but unfortunately you hold no more physical attraction for me than those photographs you sometimes see of a cold virus magnified several million times."
"No matter what the woman is doing on the outside - having a career, writing a novel, bowling - her organs are busy on the inside gathering food for the baby, fixing up the baby's room, etc. At the end of each month they sigh, throw everything away and start all over again, thus sending the woman the friendly biological reminder: 'Okay. Fine. Go ahead and have fun out there. Don't mind us in here, slaving away, trying to ensure the very survival of the human race.'"
"No matter what the woman is doing on the outside - having a career, writing a novel, bowling - her organs are busy on the inside gathering food for the baby, fixing up the baby's room, etc. At the end of each month they sigh, throw everything away and start all over again, thus sending the woman the friendly biological reminder: 'Okay. Fine. Go ahead and have fun out there. Don't mind us in here, slaving away, trying to ensure the very survival of the human race.'"
April 24, 2015
Yikes. Well, I guess my quest to rediscover Dave Barry should have leapfrogged his early work. This was more of a bathroom book than anything, with Barry's text almost playing second fiddle to the illustrations.
April 29, 2007
I adore Dave Barry! Especially this book, which anyone would find hysterical.
May 21, 2008
This is a funny book written to be humorous, not helpful.
July 28, 2009
Sex diagrams! Well, not explicit, but definitely a bunch of writing related to sex. I felt so naughty.
May 5, 2009
This is the best marriage guidebook I've found. Particularly hopeful if couple can read same together.
May 4, 2011
Read it as part of the book Dave Barry's Guide to Life.
While parts were funny, it was too crude for my tastes.
While parts were funny, it was too crude for my tastes.
September 21, 2011
On tape. It was fun. Too short. The quality of the volume read by Ed Begely Jr was a struggle to listen to.
May 6, 2013
Hilarious!
August 9, 2011
Ok, a fun bathroom type book. lol
January 16, 2016
Not Dave's best collection, but still hillarious.
Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews