Repeat After Me

by Claudia Black

Repeat After Me offers those who were raised in dysfunctional families characterized by abuse, addiction, other compulsive behaviors, or mental illness. This remarkable self-help workbook, takes the reader through a process of letting go of hurtful beliefs and behaviors. While insight is often the precursor to change, people need to develop skills that make change occur. Adults children tend to repeat the life scripts of their challenged, troubled families as a result of internalized beliefs and behaviors that were either modeled for them or were a part of their survival strategy. Dr. Claudia Black, world renown expert on dysfunctional families, articulates a four step process for readers to heal the wounds of their 1. Explore their past, for the purpose of owning the losses and grieving the pain associated with past history. 2. Connect the past history to present day life. 3. Identify and challenge internalized beliefs, differentiating between beliefs that are healthy and those useful that are self-defeating and need to be let go. 4. Learn and practice skills, focusing on the basics such as learning to listen, identifying needs and options, identifying and expressing feelings, defining successes, establishing healthy boundaries, recognizing intrusive behavior, creating healthy rituals, identifying strengths, and developing realistic expectations. This is an excellent resource to aid therapists, counselors, and other helping professionals in their work with clients to help them become aware of how their family system affected them and grow beyond it.

Genres: Psychology, Mental Health, Nonfiction, Relationships, Abuse, Self Help, Counselling

186 pages, Paperback

First published July 1, 1991

About the author

Claudia Black, M.S.W., Ph.D. is a renowned addiction and trauma expert, author, and trainer internationally recognized for her pioneering and contemporary work with family systems and addictive disorders. Dr. Black's passion to help young adults overcome obstacles and strengthen families built the foundation of the Claudia Black Young Adult Center at The Meadows treatment center in Arizona. Not only is Dr. Black the clinical architect of this innovative treatment program, she is also a Senior Fellow at The Meadows. She is the author of sixteen books, most recently Unspoken Legacy and Intimate Treason.

Reviews

[James · Rating 4 out of 5]

A solid workbook for adults dealing with issues resulting from growing up with actively alcoholic or otherwise abusive or neglectful parents - Claudia Black is one of the pioneers in this field, together with Janet Woititz. This book goes well with Black's earlier book titled It Will Never Happen To Me. As a therapist I recommend this to anyone who is trying to break generational cycles and avoid passing issues on to their children, as well as improving their own relationships and emotional life.

[Maria Fledgling Author Park · Rating 5 out of 5]

The seminal workbook for Adult Children of Alcoholics. Excellent case studies are interspersed with exercises reinforcing the core material. Most impressive to me was the feeling of hope I had when I finished the book as a young woman. "I'm free," I thought, "I'm finally free."

[寿理 宮本 · Rating 4 out of 5]

Giving a "benefit of the doubt" rating by virtue of I have no idea if this is genuinely helpful since I am not the target audience* and whoever owned this prior to me didn't finish the workbook (but had the lack of foresight to not ONLY fill it in pen but ALSO donate it to a free library, giving out potentially identifying information, hmm).

The exercises seem like exactly the sort of thing I as an untrained, non-therapist might recommend, though. I feel like it's not as helpful as a live person, if only because a live person could exert their influence to help the hurting person actually finish the exercises, rather than the book just sitting forgotten until it's disposed of.

Things I don't like:
- admission of male default (use of "he/him" to designate a generic single person), "for simplicity"... it was 1985, though
- the aforementioned "used" state of the workbook (not the workbook's fault)

Things I like:
- easy to read
- Autobiography in Five Short Chapters (but you can just click the link to see that)

Recommended for anyone looking for help working through mental health issues related to family, especially, but who does not have access to therapy. Better than nothing, I suppose?

* or I don't THINK so—there has not been a time in my life where I have recognised anything I grew up with as "abuse" on any scale that I would report to the police had I seen it happen to someone else, which is about the only metric by which I feel I can objectively judge my own experiences (which is to say I'm pretty sure I had a normal childhood, even if the odd, VERY RARE slip-up seems kind of messed up in retrospect)

[Dan Appel · Rating 5 out of 5]

The past several years I have been on a personal journey of healing and growth - guided by a very accomplished therapist.

Much of what I am dealing with involves growing up in what were often very difficult circumstances.

This book which is guiding the current part of this journey provides an opportunity to examine a number of different aspects of my life and to journal on them prior to discussing them with my counselor.

Great book if you actually do what it asks!