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Artie, The Good Witch
My name is Artie and I have a problem. My dear grandfather Brew died, succumbing to his love for pastries and leaving me all of his possessions. I now officially own a crumbling tower and two black cats. Unfortunately, this means I also have to take on his responsibilities as a wizard, an impossible thing for me, since I am not one. I am a witch, a good witch, and terribly poor at it. My cats are no help, and they only mock me. My parents are off gallivanting Goddess knows where. I suck at casting spells, yet I am supposed to participate in the very important ritual of the Beckoning in Brew's stead.
To top it off, instead of trying to figure things out, I keep drooling over weird men and finding love in all the wrong places. Wizards and necromancers? What's next, a dragon? In my defense, choosing a boyfriend is really difficult when you're trying to resurrect the land and save its ungrateful people. It doesn't help that I have to avoid being seriously hurt by evil geniuses and cackling witches. Help me out here. I pay in hugs and black kittens. For an inquiry, call 0-900-ARTIE-THE-GOOD-WITCH.
Content advisory: This title contains references to near rape.
To top it off, instead of trying to figure things out, I keep drooling over weird men and finding love in all the wrong places. Wizards and necromancers? What's next, a dragon? In my defense, choosing a boyfriend is really difficult when you're trying to resurrect the land and save its ungrateful people. It doesn't help that I have to avoid being seriously hurt by evil geniuses and cackling witches. Help me out here. I pay in hugs and black kittens. For an inquiry, call 0-900-ARTIE-THE-GOOD-WITCH.
Content advisory: This title contains references to near rape.
140 pages, Kindle Edition
First published May 21, 2011
1 person is currently reading
191 people want to read
About the author
Scarlet Hyacinth
94 books385 followersScarlet Hyacinth was born in 1986, in a Romania still struggling under the weight of the communist regime. As a young girl, she started studying the English language and fell in love with books.
After a childhood spent devouring hundreds of pages of fantasy literature, Scarlet found her calling. While at uni, she discovered with the help of a dear friend that she had a knack for writing. The rest, as they say, is history, or rather, lots of hard work and sleepless nights. Today, she can only say with a smile that nothing is impossible and that no matter what others say, you can achieve your dreams if you work hard enough.
After a childhood spent devouring hundreds of pages of fantasy literature, Scarlet found her calling. While at uni, she discovered with the help of a dear friend that she had a knack for writing. The rest, as they say, is history, or rather, lots of hard work and sleepless nights. Today, she can only say with a smile that nothing is impossible and that no matter what others say, you can achieve your dreams if you work hard enough.
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Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews
May 27, 2011
I was looking forward to this book. The blurb won me over but unfortunately the blurb ended up being the part I liked the best. I expected the book to be fun, quirky and fast-paced, but unfortunately I didn't see it that way. There were a few funny parts, but at the end nothing really grabbed my attention and stuck with me.
Overall it was an ok read but nothing special or memorable about it which is a shame since imo with a bit more polishing it could have been much better.
Overall it was an ok read but nothing special or memorable about it which is a shame since imo with a bit more polishing it could have been much better.
May 22, 2011
The cats are the best in this book.
August 26, 2011
Ok paranormal m/m romance about an innocent young witch who narrowly escapes an evil wizard with his virtue intact... and then further drama ensues. And ensues. And ensues. *sigh*
May 24, 2011
At first I wasn't so sure what to make of this story but the summary sounded interesting enough so I gave it ago. And I didn't regret it at all. It was written with such a good humour that I never good bored. A very intersting and engaging world created and I totally fell in love with the main character, Artie. Totally worth a read, I can only recommend it. :)
October 21, 2017
DNF’d at 54%
I read this book once, ages ago, and thought I really liked it, but I’m kinda really hating it this time around. It feels drawn out and very slow. The humor from the blurb isn’t as present in the story, and that’s unfortunate. I love Scarlet Hyacinth, but I just couldn’t get into this story.
Cats are best thing about the story, but I also kinda hate how Artie just keeps them on the periphery, hasn’t even named them.
I read this book once, ages ago, and thought I really liked it, but I’m kinda really hating it this time around. It feels drawn out and very slow. The humor from the blurb isn’t as present in the story, and that’s unfortunate. I love Scarlet Hyacinth, but I just couldn’t get into this story.
Cats are best thing about the story, but I also kinda hate how Artie just keeps them on the periphery, hasn’t even named them.
May 2, 2018
If this had more of the snarky commentary that appeared occasionally would have popped it up to a 4.
August 2, 2011
Artie, the Good Witch opens in classic fairy tale fashion, with a knight doing valiant deeds and the story proceeds along those lines, lightly and with humor, told by the self-admitted poor excuse for a hero, Artie. Scarlet Hyacinth mixes some modern references in, keeping the story from lapsing too self-consciously into Brothers Grimm territory.
There are some cute touches here – Artie reads books titled Witchcraft for Dummies and Clinical Occultism, and the author really goes to town with a lot of the standard wicked villain tropes. The baddies make all the classic villain mistakes, like over-explaining, done with a wink so we know she meant to do that. It's fun.
Artie, for all he's lived with his familiars for more than five decades, has very little understanding of what he is or what he's meant to do. He's actually childlike to the point of it being squicky that he'd take off his pants for anyone, and his first foray into sex left me with an acute need to punch the other man square in the nose, for both the reasons the author intended and because Artie is innocent bordering on simple-minded. In fairness, the blurb does warn for this, and it was a tense time in the story. His second attempt seems only a little better, leaving me mistrusting the reasons for the insta-lust and not really warming up to his lover, who spends much of the rest of the story either carrying Artie from place to place, or off fighting, or managing wild monkey sex at unlikely times. Another trope that the author's having some sly fun with, the inappropriate sex is an important plot point, but does manage to evoke that "No, please not right now," reaction in the reader, and the promises it makes don't quite carry through.
The scene stealers are the familiars: they have the best lines and the most sense. The other supporting characters either don't have a very good set of clues politically or emotionally, or are busy posturing. The baddies do get nicely subtle punishments in the end – this is a fairy tale, of course evil is punished – but the unfolding is so heavy handed that it's hard to appreciate the nuances of the punishment itself.
The story doesn't quite manage to carry off its knee-slapper promises—repeating a joke a dozen times does not make it funnier—but does succeed as light entertainment with a satisfying ending.
There are some cute touches here – Artie reads books titled Witchcraft for Dummies and Clinical Occultism, and the author really goes to town with a lot of the standard wicked villain tropes. The baddies make all the classic villain mistakes, like over-explaining, done with a wink so we know she meant to do that. It's fun.
Artie, for all he's lived with his familiars for more than five decades, has very little understanding of what he is or what he's meant to do. He's actually childlike to the point of it being squicky that he'd take off his pants for anyone, and his first foray into sex left me with an acute need to punch the other man square in the nose, for both the reasons the author intended and because Artie is innocent bordering on simple-minded. In fairness, the blurb does warn for this, and it was a tense time in the story. His second attempt seems only a little better, leaving me mistrusting the reasons for the insta-lust and not really warming up to his lover, who spends much of the rest of the story either carrying Artie from place to place, or off fighting, or managing wild monkey sex at unlikely times. Another trope that the author's having some sly fun with, the inappropriate sex is an important plot point, but does manage to evoke that "No, please not right now," reaction in the reader, and the promises it makes don't quite carry through.
The scene stealers are the familiars: they have the best lines and the most sense. The other supporting characters either don't have a very good set of clues politically or emotionally, or are busy posturing. The baddies do get nicely subtle punishments in the end – this is a fairy tale, of course evil is punished – but the unfolding is so heavy handed that it's hard to appreciate the nuances of the punishment itself.
The story doesn't quite manage to carry off its knee-slapper promises—repeating a joke a dozen times does not make it funnier—but does succeed as light entertainment with a satisfying ending.
August 6, 2012
I cannot say it was really bad but all the time I was reading the book it seemed to me that, despite author’s assertion, Artie was a girl. I think writing M/M doesn’t mean just giving the main female character a male name and write “he” instead of “she”, etc.
And I was kind of bored after I had read half of the book. Even had an idea to skip over some parts but didn’t as usually I read from the beginning till the end. But it was a difficult task.
By the end I even thought the book is kind of mocking or grotesque and plot and narration were meant to be so stupid? Strange? Irritating? (cannot choose the right word)
So 2 stars, though usually, if I am not sure how many stars to give, I prefer to give more. This time I am sure.
P.S.: I wonder why Tara’s familiars could be heard by other people and Artie’s couldn’t? Or I misunderstood something? They could be heard by everybody if they want? I didn’t get clear idea of this from the book.
P.P.S.: Goddess-psychoanalyst, very cool.
P.P.P.S.: ok, I confess, I did skip the last sex scene.
And I was kind of bored after I had read half of the book. Even had an idea to skip over some parts but didn’t as usually I read from the beginning till the end. But it was a difficult task.
By the end I even thought the book is kind of mocking or grotesque and plot and narration were meant to be so stupid? Strange? Irritating? (cannot choose the right word)
So 2 stars, though usually, if I am not sure how many stars to give, I prefer to give more. This time I am sure.
P.S.: I wonder why Tara’s familiars could be heard by other people and Artie’s couldn’t? Or I misunderstood something? They could be heard by everybody if they want? I didn’t get clear idea of this from the book.
P.P.S.: Goddess-psychoanalyst, very cool.
P.P.P.S.: ok, I confess, I did skip the last sex scene.
August 29, 2011
Sometimes you read a book where the language, the action, the world is so immediate and clear that it feels like you could reach out and touch the characters. This is not one of those books. It felt like I was skimming across the top layer of the story, without ever connecting with the characters. Everything went by too quickly. Although I liked Artie, he was "I would die for you" in love after like three days. And Tristan, the older and more experienced love interest, apparently felt the same way.
The tone was light and funny, but I would have appreciated more depth to the story. I didn't hate it, so I'm giving it three stars, but it's a low three.
The tone was light and funny, but I would have appreciated more depth to the story. I didn't hate it, so I'm giving it three stars, but it's a low three.
March 14, 2012
not part of a series; better than below mentioned
typical Scarlet Hyacinth serial romance. nothing fantastic, nothing so bad it can't be finished. what is typical Scarlet Hyacinth? imagine a shorter harlequin romance but with no t&a (see, i was going to write no surprise pregnancies, but... yeah.).
out of sheer laziness, i will be using this as my template for all serials by UNLESS motivated otherwise by markedly good/bad writing:
Scarlet Hyacinth
joyee flynn
sunny day
lynn hagen
stormy glenn
carol lynne
gabrielle evans
i'd apologize for said halfassedness, but i'm not sorry.
typical Scarlet Hyacinth serial romance. nothing fantastic, nothing so bad it can't be finished. what is typical Scarlet Hyacinth? imagine a shorter harlequin romance but with no t&a (see, i was going to write no surprise pregnancies, but... yeah.).
out of sheer laziness, i will be using this as my template for all serials by UNLESS motivated otherwise by markedly good/bad writing:
Scarlet Hyacinth
joyee flynn
sunny day
lynn hagen
stormy glenn
carol lynne
gabrielle evans
i'd apologize for said halfassedness, but i'm not sorry.
February 22, 2014
A self proclamed airhead witch, with little skill and lots of repressed lust, tells his own story in this entertaining and humorous book. Saved by his sheer luck (being half leprichaun by his father's side) from the most amusing and adventurous situations he finds himself in, will he be able to finally set his life course on the right direction?
If you like adventure, magic, and humor, you cant miss this book!
If you like adventure, magic, and humor, you cant miss this book!
May 19, 2012
Sweet, magical, a complex and believable world, strong and interesting secondary characters, a brush with trauma for Artie with a "just in time" rescue, and complex villains who the reader can sympathize with. It's a rich book that, although pretty long, flew past more quickly than I wanted it to! I hope we see more of this universe from the author.
June 4, 2011
a really lite-hearted read even the fight scenes doesn't seem so fierce. i wanted some here and now punishment (not luck there) but its in the long term it'll happen talk about a good witch. well i guess you don't mess with a goddess and what she deems fit.
September 1, 2016
Lo que promete la reseña del libro lo cumple.
Sin duda una lectura ligera, llena de humor y amor. Ideal para olvidarse por un rato de preocupaciones y disfrutar de este héroe un poquito despistado.
Sin duda una lectura ligera, llena de humor y amor. Ideal para olvidarse por un rato de preocupaciones y disfrutar de este héroe un poquito despistado.
May 22, 2016
This was actually ridiculously cute, and I would really have liked it without the pasted-on romance that was just too ill-timed to be convincing or interesting.
(Also, wow, that cover is *hideous*. Don't judge the book by it.)
(Also, wow, that cover is *hideous*. Don't judge the book by it.)
May 22, 2011
I love book with wizards and hot man-love so I had a blast reading this one.
June 13, 2011
Very close to a five. The humour and characters of the story are wonderful. Definitely a recommended read.
June 2, 2011
На удивление удавшаяся для автора книга. Может же Скарлет писать, когда захочет.
Очень миленькая, незатейливая фентези.
Очень миленькая, незатейливая фентези.
June 13, 2011
I really liked this book. Lots of humor. Liked the characters.
November 23, 2011
Good theme, but bad POV. It should have been third person. The first person is awkward because he's too fascinated with what his mother is feeling. She clearly has the more interesting story.
lost-interest-dnf
February 24, 2016DNF
November 6, 2014
I loved this premise, but for some reason or another it did not work for me.
May 2, 2017
I started this book expecting it to be something it wasn't. I had a preconceived notion because of the author. I like the author don't get me wrong but usually it is fluff. I love fluff so I got this book expecting that. Yes there was some but it was so much more. It caught my attention and never left go to the ending. This is by far my favorite book by this author.
Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews