The Onion's Finest News Reporting, Volume 1

by The Onion, Scott Dikkers, Robert D. Siegel

The Onion is the world's most popular humor periodical. Its first book, Our Dumb Century , was a New York Times #1 best-seller and winner of the 1999 Thurber Prize for American Humor.  Now The Onion returns  with Volume One of  the paper's greatest, most hard-hitting stories,
--Clinton Deploys Vowels to Operation Vowel Storm Will Make Countless Bosnian Names More Pronounceable
--Jesus Christ Returns to NBA
--Microsoft Patents Ones, Zeroes
--I Can't Stand My Filthy Hippy Owner by Thunder the Ferret

Genres: Humor, Comedy, Fiction, Satire, Politics, Comics, Anthologies

165 pages, Paperback

First published April 1, 2000

About the author

The satirical newspaper The Onion was founded in 1988 at the University of Wisconsin, Madison. Originally a weekly humor print publication targeting a local student population, The Onion is today a booming news organization known as America’s Finest News Source.

The launch of TheOnion.com in 1996 expanded its signature brand of satire to a national and international audience. Online expansion opened doors to growth in a multitude of areas. The company has become an omnipotent news empire, reaching millions of fans through print, broadcast, radio, mobile apps, books, and, in January 2011, two new television shows on the Independent Film Channel and Comedy Central. The website continues to be the nucleus of all The Onion does, described by TIME magazine as “the funniest site on the Internet.”

TheOnion.com now averages 40 million page views and roughly 7.5 million unique visitors per month. The Onion’s digital strategy has resulted in an enormous and dedicated fan base. The newspaper’s content is delivered constantly, Tweeted at optimum times and posted on Facebook during high-traffic periods. Subsequently, users can easily embed, share, or post articles and videos to their personal Facebook and Twitter accounts. As a result, the Onion’s fans take an active role in the viral nature of the content. Within minutes of posting an article or video, the content materializes across a number of platforms.

Reviews

[Tim Trewartha · Rating 4 out of 5]

High quality satirical satire. Hadn't read The Onion in a long time, found this volume in an op shop, and thoroughly enjoyed reading it, despite the fact that a lot of the material is over 20 years old. Indeed some of this stuff is really dark, and still resonates today, which is very alarming. The Onion: makes you laugh, makes you think.

[Steve · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book deserves 5 stars if only for including the post-September 11, 2001 issue...the most profound, funniest and riskiest satire I have encountered in my lifetime.

[Laura]

This what I am reading in the bathroom :D

[Mike · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very entertaining, and laugh out loud funny at times. Some articles can be easily skipped over after reading the headline only, but those are scarce.

[Susan (the other Susan) · Rating 4 out of 5]

"HOLY SHIT. MAN WALKS ON FUCKING MOON"

A collection of famous news stories as they ought to have been written. Fabulously funny and truer-than-true.

[Erika · Rating 3 out of 5]

funny and offensive. as only the onion can be.

[Terry Collins · Rating 4 out of 5]

While dated in some aspects, this is still some of the best news satire ever written. Fearless then and fearless now - especially in a world where the actual news has gone mad just to keep up with present day politics.

[Jimyanni · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a collection of spoof, "Harvard Lampoon" style, irreverent "newspaper articles", poking fun at some standards of the newspaper trade. The one way in which their parodies are NOT perfect is that they are actually BETTER written and edited than real newspaper stories; I found only one typo in the entire book. So not only are they hilariously funny, they're also COMPETENT. Of course, they're completely politically incorrect and generally irreverent; if you have any capability of being offended by stories headlined "New York To Install Special 'Infants Only' Dumpsters" and could not possibly find such a story funny, no matter how well it spoofed the true stories that one sees about infants found abandoned in dumpsters, then you won't want to read this. Or anything else by the Onion.

[Bryan]

This onion will leave you crying...from laughter!: This is yet another great example of brilliant and witty writing on the part of the Onion's writers. From GM introducing "new, instant-win airbags" to Saddam Hussein stepping down because of a sex scandal and a local child destroying an ant colony, the writing is better than ever. The writers' ribald and vulgar sense of humor is sharper than ever, too, as Monica Lewinsky gets subpoenaed to "re-blow Clinton on Senate floor." It's tough to pick a favorite Onion book, but this one is right up there. Even the offensive ones are somehow funny. Get it, read it, and laugh again and again. Makes a great coffee table book.

[Julie Decker · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a collection of the best Onion articles--with politics, social issues, individual people's opinion pieces, and "science" all squished together with absurd writing. The headlines jump out at you, and the articles just get funnier. You can read about how actually babies are stupid, or an in-depth hard-hitting piece about what a drunk guy yelled about his nether parts on a street corner one night. What makes it the best is that there's always a string of truth in there--something we all recognize in ourselves and our loved ones, and we notice how absolutely barkingly ridiculous we are.

[Hilary · Rating 3 out of 5]

This collection was funny, but not quite as funny as I was expecting it to be. It actually got a little bit tedious after a while, as all of the articles were essentially making fun of the same sort of thing. Most of the topics were also pretty outdated, which I hadn't expected, but should have had I looked at the publishing date. It would be good for someone who really likes The Onion, but only if they really, really like The Onion.

[Daniel]

...a collection of stories and commentaries with a sublime satirical bite. Devotees of the Madison, Wisconsin, weekly will erupt with laughter at each turn of the page, while newcomers will wonder how they have done without such headlines as...

[J. · Rating 3 out of 5]

Like everything the Onion does, 99% of the humor is in the headlines--and they are hilarious--but the articles rarely add any humor to the situation, unless you enjoy the idea of treating the nonsensical headline seriously. But this joke doesn't stretch quite as long as this book is.

[Rob Haas · Rating 5 out of 5]

T. Herman Zweibel is a hell of a guy.

[Swankivy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read it cover to cover. Mostly while on the john. You care?

[Aaron · Rating 4 out of 5]

One of my favorite Onion jokes is the headline "Clinton Found Alive."

[Bethany · Rating 5 out of 5]

You know, cause it counts as literature. Or something.

[Peacegal · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Onion is always a lot of fun, and this great coffee table book.

[Chandler · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent selection of great Onion stories. After all, what is better than a copy of The Onion? A collection of the best Onion stories.

[Miles · Rating 5 out of 5]

In the pre-internet era, this is what you would read on the toilet. Endlessly funny.