What do you think?
Rate this book
Digging Deep: A Writer Uncovers His Marriages
Lemon moves from a lifetime in California to live platonically with a 24-year-old female college student. He takes us with him on his journey to uncover his role in the destruction of his three marriages.
With brutal honesty, courage and insight he uncovers and exposes his conduct and attitudes about women and marriage that had been profoundly influenced by his place on the cusp between the moralistic generation of the 1940's and the next generation that embraced sex, drugs and rock 'n roll and greater independence and equality for women.
Deeply troubled by his career choice as a corporate lawyer, he nevertheless, used it for years to avoid his marital issues. Lemon's story will guide you in resolving your own relationship problems.
With brutal honesty, courage and insight he uncovers and exposes his conduct and attitudes about women and marriage that had been profoundly influenced by his place on the cusp between the moralistic generation of the 1940's and the next generation that embraced sex, drugs and rock 'n roll and greater independence and equality for women.
Deeply troubled by his career choice as a corporate lawyer, he nevertheless, used it for years to avoid his marital issues. Lemon's story will guide you in resolving your own relationship problems.
336 pages, Paperback
First published April 21, 2011
3 people are currently reading
296 people want to read
About the author
Boyd Lemon
14 books67 followersQuote From Author Boyd Lemon:
I lived most of my life in Southern California. I am a retired lawyer who reinvented himself as an author. I moved to Boston in March 2007, where I stayed until spring of 2010. I loved it -- great city. From Boston, at the age of 69, I moved to Paris for a year. I now live in St. Marys, Georgia.
I have written five books: "Retirement: A Memoir and Guide; "Digging Deep: A Writer Uncovers His Marriages," a memoir about my journey to understand my role in the destruction of my three marriages; "Unexpected Love and Other Stories," a collection of short stories about life, love and human frailties and strengths; "Eat, Walk, Write: An American Senior's Year of Adventure in Paris and Tuscany;" and a law book. I have also written and published two short books, "Games," five of my short stories; and "Diverity: A Road Trip Across the U.S.A.".
I'm learning to draw. I love good food and wine, listening to good music and walking on the beach, in beautiful cities like Paris and Boston and on mountain trails.
I love that so many of my life dreams have come true: Lived in a home with a stunning 180 degree view of the California coast, Traveled to Africa, Australia, Peru, Brazil, Argentina, Mexico, Italy, Spain, Germany, Austria, France, Ireland, Costa Rica....
I Am a working artist!
Here is what someone else wrote about me.
“Life Begins at 70……
After a stellar 40-year career as a top and nationally recognized attorney in his field (Time Magazine called him first after Martha Stewart's conviction of insider trading), Boyd Lemon followed a deep calling, and began the life of an artist as he neared retirement age. Following his heart led him to face a painful past, and re-invent himself as artist and writer. The journey as artist began in the idyllic coastal town of Ventura, California, then on to the venerable literary, music and art scenes of Boston, and finally to living the dream life of many an artist, a Bohemian year on the Left Bank in Paris, with a final few months in the hills of Tuscany before returning to California. Once Lemon started writing, his passion, combined with years of discipline as a professional, gained the notice of world-renowned writer and teacher, Natalie Goldberg, who invited Lemon to her prestigious year-long workshop for writers in Taos. His book, Digging Deep, is a memoir about Boyd Lemon's role in the destruction of his three marriages. This is a journey to understand one man's role in marriages that ended in divorce, confusion, bitterness and blame. The Pearl has been the journey of the writing, for the writer himself, and the peace that writing has brought him. Lemon lived on the cusp of the moralistic generation that grew up in the 1940s and 50s and the next generation that embraced sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll, as well as equality and independence for women. The transition rocked all pretenses of his working class upbringing. The writer's hope is that revealing the path of his own struggle to clarity and peace leads others to their own awakening, as so many modern couples and individuals deal with understanding and defining the new order in relationships, as well as facing their own past.
I lived most of my life in Southern California. I am a retired lawyer who reinvented himself as an author. I moved to Boston in March 2007, where I stayed until spring of 2010. I loved it -- great city. From Boston, at the age of 69, I moved to Paris for a year. I now live in St. Marys, Georgia.
I have written five books: "Retirement: A Memoir and Guide; "Digging Deep: A Writer Uncovers His Marriages," a memoir about my journey to understand my role in the destruction of my three marriages; "Unexpected Love and Other Stories," a collection of short stories about life, love and human frailties and strengths; "Eat, Walk, Write: An American Senior's Year of Adventure in Paris and Tuscany;" and a law book. I have also written and published two short books, "Games," five of my short stories; and "Diverity: A Road Trip Across the U.S.A.".
I'm learning to draw. I love good food and wine, listening to good music and walking on the beach, in beautiful cities like Paris and Boston and on mountain trails.
I love that so many of my life dreams have come true: Lived in a home with a stunning 180 degree view of the California coast, Traveled to Africa, Australia, Peru, Brazil, Argentina, Mexico, Italy, Spain, Germany, Austria, France, Ireland, Costa Rica....
I Am a working artist!
Here is what someone else wrote about me.
“Life Begins at 70……
After a stellar 40-year career as a top and nationally recognized attorney in his field (Time Magazine called him first after Martha Stewart's conviction of insider trading), Boyd Lemon followed a deep calling, and began the life of an artist as he neared retirement age. Following his heart led him to face a painful past, and re-invent himself as artist and writer. The journey as artist began in the idyllic coastal town of Ventura, California, then on to the venerable literary, music and art scenes of Boston, and finally to living the dream life of many an artist, a Bohemian year on the Left Bank in Paris, with a final few months in the hills of Tuscany before returning to California. Once Lemon started writing, his passion, combined with years of discipline as a professional, gained the notice of world-renowned writer and teacher, Natalie Goldberg, who invited Lemon to her prestigious year-long workshop for writers in Taos. His book, Digging Deep, is a memoir about Boyd Lemon's role in the destruction of his three marriages. This is a journey to understand one man's role in marriages that ended in divorce, confusion, bitterness and blame. The Pearl has been the journey of the writing, for the writer himself, and the peace that writing has brought him. Lemon lived on the cusp of the moralistic generation that grew up in the 1940s and 50s and the next generation that embraced sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll, as well as equality and independence for women. The transition rocked all pretenses of his working class upbringing. The writer's hope is that revealing the path of his own struggle to clarity and peace leads others to their own awakening, as so many modern couples and individuals deal with understanding and defining the new order in relationships, as well as facing their own past.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews
June 28, 2011
I agreed to write a review of “Digging Deep” without ever really having read a book of this type before. I didn’t know what to expect and I find this review very difficult to write. It seems like a book as deep and honest as this one deserves a deeper review than the one I’m writing. It was a very thought provoking read because it encouraged me to compare this authors experiences to my own. I don’t know exactly why I was drawn into the story of Boyd’s life as much as I was, but I wanted to keep reading even when I knew I was procrastinating other responsibilities. Furthermore, I imagine that I’ll be thinking a lot about what I read in this book for the next few days to come and then probably less frequently in the years to come.
What’s odd about “Digging Deep” is that I think the people it would help the most are the least likely to read it. So I guess the second best audience would be those who are married to the people who need to read this book. I think that that’s probably anyone having marital trouble. The third best audience would be people who are considering marriage or intend to get married. Having someone’s lifetimes worth of relationship experience to analyze can help people avoid making similar mistakes and can open up an avenue for analyzing one’s own relationships. I think that for some people this can be invaluable. Of course, it requires the reader to be open to such self analysis.
Near the end of the book, the author did make one comment I disagreed with. I don’t want to give it away except to say that it was just a few paragraphs long where the author talked about his relationship with his parents. Also the author mentions crying a few times in the early chapters. I personally am made uncomfortable by the image of men crying and those few parts did rub the wrong way a little bit. Otherwise, I thought this was a very insightful book. I’m very glad I had the opportunity to read it.
What’s odd about “Digging Deep” is that I think the people it would help the most are the least likely to read it. So I guess the second best audience would be those who are married to the people who need to read this book. I think that that’s probably anyone having marital trouble. The third best audience would be people who are considering marriage or intend to get married. Having someone’s lifetimes worth of relationship experience to analyze can help people avoid making similar mistakes and can open up an avenue for analyzing one’s own relationships. I think that for some people this can be invaluable. Of course, it requires the reader to be open to such self analysis.
Near the end of the book, the author did make one comment I disagreed with. I don’t want to give it away except to say that it was just a few paragraphs long where the author talked about his relationship with his parents. Also the author mentions crying a few times in the early chapters. I personally am made uncomfortable by the image of men crying and those few parts did rub the wrong way a little bit. Otherwise, I thought this was a very insightful book. I’m very glad I had the opportunity to read it.
June 7, 2012
The several memoirs I've reviewed have had two things in common: the absolute need the authors very obviously felt to expel what they were holding within, and the courage it must have taken to publish.
It's one thing for a writer of fiction to lay themselves open to the comments of the world. It's another thing entirely when the subject matter exposed is the author's life.
I imagine memoirists deliberate endlessly over what to include and exclude. Or perhaps they don't. Perhaps the path to putting demons to rest is to hold nothing back. That certainly seems to be the approach taken here as the author discusses his three marriages.
The memoir is divided into three parts, each one devoted to looking back and dissecting the first, second and third marriages in an effort to discover why they failed.
Along the way the author finds Natalie Goldberg, a well-known writing teacher, attends her workshops and applies her suggestions to his writing.
Each part begins in the present day with the author wrestling with how to start. Each part contains multiple chapters, the beginnings to which also have preambles in the present day. Then we are plunged back in time while the author 'digs deep' in an attempt to discover what went wrong. The memoir reads to me very much like a stream of consciousness.
For me this memoir and its telling didn't resonate like it obviously has for many others---I admit to breaking my own rule of reviewing with this one which is not to read what anyone else has said about a book until I have published my own review.
Can you say a memoir holds no appeal? It's not like saying a novel doesn't appeal. When you admit to not liking a memoir could it be seen as a rejection of the person's life? I hope not because that is not my intention. I just didn't like the telling of it very much. For instance, is it necessary to take us into the bed and detail what happened there? For this reviewer it was a step too far.
It's one thing for a writer of fiction to lay themselves open to the comments of the world. It's another thing entirely when the subject matter exposed is the author's life.
I imagine memoirists deliberate endlessly over what to include and exclude. Or perhaps they don't. Perhaps the path to putting demons to rest is to hold nothing back. That certainly seems to be the approach taken here as the author discusses his three marriages.
The memoir is divided into three parts, each one devoted to looking back and dissecting the first, second and third marriages in an effort to discover why they failed.
Along the way the author finds Natalie Goldberg, a well-known writing teacher, attends her workshops and applies her suggestions to his writing.
Each part begins in the present day with the author wrestling with how to start. Each part contains multiple chapters, the beginnings to which also have preambles in the present day. Then we are plunged back in time while the author 'digs deep' in an attempt to discover what went wrong. The memoir reads to me very much like a stream of consciousness.
For me this memoir and its telling didn't resonate like it obviously has for many others---I admit to breaking my own rule of reviewing with this one which is not to read what anyone else has said about a book until I have published my own review.
Can you say a memoir holds no appeal? It's not like saying a novel doesn't appeal. When you admit to not liking a memoir could it be seen as a rejection of the person's life? I hope not because that is not my intention. I just didn't like the telling of it very much. For instance, is it necessary to take us into the bed and detail what happened there? For this reviewer it was a step too far.
January 28, 2012
Boyd Lemon looks back on his three failed marriages not with self-pity or to garner admiration or support. Digging Deep is just what the title implies, a raw, honest, no holds barred analysis of his personal culpability in the failure of each of his marriages. Each one is different, yet there are threads running through all three that repeat, one that I think is more true for men than women. That is the lack of willingness, or perhaps ability to engage in truly open discussion. As such, I find the book to be somewhat one-sided. Relationships fail because of the dynamic between two individuals, not just the actions of one member. While I respect that Lemon’s wives’ insights could, understandably, not be included, they might have added a deeper perpective.
Yet, as it stands I do think that many could gain insight into their own relationships and, if read with the same lack of defensiveness as it is written in, possibly offer some tools that will assist them. I do think that it has more to offer men than women, although that is not exclusive.
The one thing I miss is a more in-depth analysis of what Lemon has learned and how he uses his hard won insights in his current life and relationships – but perhaps that is another book – it could make a good one.
Lemon writes in an easy narrative style that allows the reader to get into the material without challenging them with analytical language. This makes Digging Deep accessible to readers who would not ordinarily read such material. I recommend it to those in the early stages of examining relationships and their roles in them. It is also a good tool to open discussion between those already in a relationship they wish to improve on.
Yet, as it stands I do think that many could gain insight into their own relationships and, if read with the same lack of defensiveness as it is written in, possibly offer some tools that will assist them. I do think that it has more to offer men than women, although that is not exclusive.
The one thing I miss is a more in-depth analysis of what Lemon has learned and how he uses his hard won insights in his current life and relationships – but perhaps that is another book – it could make a good one.
Lemon writes in an easy narrative style that allows the reader to get into the material without challenging them with analytical language. This makes Digging Deep accessible to readers who would not ordinarily read such material. I recommend it to those in the early stages of examining relationships and their roles in them. It is also a good tool to open discussion between those already in a relationship they wish to improve on.
March 30, 2014
I've put off writing this review for several months because I have really wanted to think about how to best convey my feelings about this book. I think that the best way to really share my opinion is state that six months after reading this book - I still think about it every once in a while. I think about how this author completely took down any walls built up - figured out who he really was as an individual - and wrote it all down for the world to judge him. And regardless of what people think of him - he put it all out there, and I truly admire him for "telling it how it is" and not being afraid of the criticism or harsh judgements he may or may not receive.
When a marriage goes wrong, it's not just one individual's fault (unless it involves domestic abuse or any form of cheating - in my opinion - some people can't help that their spouse has done/did this). And from learning what you did wrong, you can help build up your character and help those around you with trying to correct those mistakes or rectify the mistakes and hurt you caused people in the past. While reading this book I truly thought that Boyd was a douche-bag... but I think that he wasn't the only one to blame. And I commend him for honestly (brutally honestly) telling and sharing and reliving what his false reality was and recognizing years later how he could have fixed that. I think that from him recognizing his mistakes in the past, he can now begin to build greater relationships with those he loves (namely his children) in the future.
Don't get me wrong, there are some things in this book I wouldn't want my children reading. It is all laid out on the table and some of the ways he describes his love life, and some of the ways he talks about other individuals, and some of the activities he participates in - I didn't necessarily enjoy reading (nor would I want my children reading), but I think that it adds such a powerful emphasis to the whole of what his purpose is in writing the book.
Yeah, he was a jerk. Yeah, he did awful things. But at least he can "man up"/"Cowboy up"/"Own up" (whatever "UP") to the awful things he did and at least he has the audacity to say "I screwed up, and I'm sorry". Even if in every relationship it was too late to apologize, he learned some valuable lessons... and quite frankly, if he didn't learn these lessons and grieve and overcome them - who knows where he would be today (a drunk alcoholic on the street?).
In essence, I don't really know how to put my finger down on the one aspect of this book that really stuck out to me. Nor do i feel like I can emotionally write why I appreciated this book so much, but I do feel like in some bizarre, random, crazy way - it made me a better person for reading it. (Not from reading all the profanity or sexual innuendos/experiences). But more so because I can walk away after reading this book and really analyze my own life and think "Gosh, I have it great." Compared to others out there and their nightmarish situations. It also helped me to be more open minded about figuratively judging a book by its cover. Because we don't know what's going on in other's marriages - and sometimes they are hurting... and I realized I need to be more open minded about being non-judgmental and a better listener when others are going through rough spats.
Sometimes when I feel like my marriage isn't perfect, I reflect on things this author said and I try to also "dig deep" to figure out what I can fix or change to make things better once again. And I love that I was able to take that away from reading this book.
When a marriage goes wrong, it's not just one individual's fault (unless it involves domestic abuse or any form of cheating - in my opinion - some people can't help that their spouse has done/did this). And from learning what you did wrong, you can help build up your character and help those around you with trying to correct those mistakes or rectify the mistakes and hurt you caused people in the past. While reading this book I truly thought that Boyd was a douche-bag... but I think that he wasn't the only one to blame. And I commend him for honestly (brutally honestly) telling and sharing and reliving what his false reality was and recognizing years later how he could have fixed that. I think that from him recognizing his mistakes in the past, he can now begin to build greater relationships with those he loves (namely his children) in the future.
Don't get me wrong, there are some things in this book I wouldn't want my children reading. It is all laid out on the table and some of the ways he describes his love life, and some of the ways he talks about other individuals, and some of the activities he participates in - I didn't necessarily enjoy reading (nor would I want my children reading), but I think that it adds such a powerful emphasis to the whole of what his purpose is in writing the book.
Yeah, he was a jerk. Yeah, he did awful things. But at least he can "man up"/"Cowboy up"/"Own up" (whatever "UP") to the awful things he did and at least he has the audacity to say "I screwed up, and I'm sorry". Even if in every relationship it was too late to apologize, he learned some valuable lessons... and quite frankly, if he didn't learn these lessons and grieve and overcome them - who knows where he would be today (a drunk alcoholic on the street?).
In essence, I don't really know how to put my finger down on the one aspect of this book that really stuck out to me. Nor do i feel like I can emotionally write why I appreciated this book so much, but I do feel like in some bizarre, random, crazy way - it made me a better person for reading it. (Not from reading all the profanity or sexual innuendos/experiences). But more so because I can walk away after reading this book and really analyze my own life and think "Gosh, I have it great." Compared to others out there and their nightmarish situations. It also helped me to be more open minded about figuratively judging a book by its cover. Because we don't know what's going on in other's marriages - and sometimes they are hurting... and I realized I need to be more open minded about being non-judgmental and a better listener when others are going through rough spats.
Sometimes when I feel like my marriage isn't perfect, I reflect on things this author said and I try to also "dig deep" to figure out what I can fix or change to make things better once again. And I love that I was able to take that away from reading this book.
October 1, 2016
For centuries, marriage was summed up in two words - low expectations. The husband got sex and a housekeeper. The wife got children and a roof over her head. If they really loathed each other, there was at least the hopeful prospect of one or the other dying young. Better luck next time!
Queen Victoria and Prince Albert threw a monkey wrench into this sensible system. Not content to produce a huge dynastic brood, they also let it be known that they were in love and blissfully happy. Suddenly the bar was raised. Then equal opportunities for women came along and the wife who wasn't satisfied no longer had to suffer in silence because she could now support herself. Thanks to the "sexual revolution" men had a much wider choice of sexual partners outside of marriage.
But we couldn't simply do away with marriage because of the need to provide for children, so a new model rolled off the assembly line. Today the modern couple must be best friends, soul mates, intellectual equals, co-parents, and passionate lovers. They must have dual high-income (but fulfilling) careers, maintain a luxurious home, have an active social life, encourage each other to pursue exciting leisure activities, and raise children who are Harvard-ready at the age of fourteen. It's a damned shame Super Man and Wonder Woman never got married instead of taking the easy way out and fighting crime.
This author (and God Bless him and all of his ex-wives) actually lived through this scenario THREE times. Why he kept going back for more is anybody's guess. The only explanation he gives is that he thought marriage was forever and that his wives would stick with him no matter how he treated them. Nice work if you can get it. None of them ever took an axe to him, but all of them eventually gave up on him. The good thing is that his marriages produced four children and (much to my amazement) they seem to be nice young folks and get along well with Dear Old Dad.
You may or may not enjoy this book. I admire it because the author delivers exactly what he promises: an in depth, honest examination of his life and marriages. It's raw and sometimes horrifying and it's difficult to know who to root for (except the kids, of course.)
I felt sorry for his first wife, who clearly had serious mental problems and I'm happy that she now has medications that enable her to have a good life. The second wife seemed like a nasty piece of work and it's telling that thirty years after she ended their marriage she's still looking to him for money. The third wife sounds like a nice lady, but she DID marry a guy with two ex-wives and three children. I think I would have anticipated some problems.
How correct he is in his conclusions is unknowable. I think he tries to be honest and to take the blame where applicable, but I wonder how much he really knows about himself, even now. It's certainly a look at how marriages start with the best of intentions and end up on the rocks.
Queen Victoria and Prince Albert threw a monkey wrench into this sensible system. Not content to produce a huge dynastic brood, they also let it be known that they were in love and blissfully happy. Suddenly the bar was raised. Then equal opportunities for women came along and the wife who wasn't satisfied no longer had to suffer in silence because she could now support herself. Thanks to the "sexual revolution" men had a much wider choice of sexual partners outside of marriage.
But we couldn't simply do away with marriage because of the need to provide for children, so a new model rolled off the assembly line. Today the modern couple must be best friends, soul mates, intellectual equals, co-parents, and passionate lovers. They must have dual high-income (but fulfilling) careers, maintain a luxurious home, have an active social life, encourage each other to pursue exciting leisure activities, and raise children who are Harvard-ready at the age of fourteen. It's a damned shame Super Man and Wonder Woman never got married instead of taking the easy way out and fighting crime.
This author (and God Bless him and all of his ex-wives) actually lived through this scenario THREE times. Why he kept going back for more is anybody's guess. The only explanation he gives is that he thought marriage was forever and that his wives would stick with him no matter how he treated them. Nice work if you can get it. None of them ever took an axe to him, but all of them eventually gave up on him. The good thing is that his marriages produced four children and (much to my amazement) they seem to be nice young folks and get along well with Dear Old Dad.
You may or may not enjoy this book. I admire it because the author delivers exactly what he promises: an in depth, honest examination of his life and marriages. It's raw and sometimes horrifying and it's difficult to know who to root for (except the kids, of course.)
I felt sorry for his first wife, who clearly had serious mental problems and I'm happy that she now has medications that enable her to have a good life. The second wife seemed like a nasty piece of work and it's telling that thirty years after she ended their marriage she's still looking to him for money. The third wife sounds like a nice lady, but she DID marry a guy with two ex-wives and three children. I think I would have anticipated some problems.
How correct he is in his conclusions is unknowable. I think he tries to be honest and to take the blame where applicable, but I wonder how much he really knows about himself, even now. It's certainly a look at how marriages start with the best of intentions and end up on the rocks.
February 18, 2013
I just finished reading this book. I highly recommend reading this book, especially if you have been through a divorce or a broken relationship. This author's drive to dig deeper to understand his part in failed marriages and to discover his authentic self is a driving force behind this book.
It's a painful process discecting his marriages. I feel that I gained a lot personally by reading about his journey of self discovery. I also have a great desire to dig deep to find my authentic self. I admire his courage. Each chapter I could feel his sense of self getting stronger the deeper he dug.
I truly felt that his second marriage was probably the love of his life, the woman that he truly loved. His last marriage might have been the healthiest marriage, I personally think he would have been happier working on himself rather than being in that marriage.
To me this is a book that needs to be slowly digested. Because the subject matter is painful to read at times, I found myself having to put it away for periods of time and come back to it. The relationship challenges were to intense for me to take reading all at one sitting.
But I'm glad that I kept reading. It was worth the time and the effort. I learned a lot from the process. I think that I too shall start my own journaling to dig deeper into myself to try to find my authentic self. I can tell from reading this book, the results are very rewarding to one's life.
I have to say that this man's story sucked me in from the very beginning. This just seemed like a person genuinely interested in getting to the bottom of how he played a part in the destruction of his marriages. He seemed like he wished to change his course of actions to possibly have a better outcome next time.
How can you not love it when someone is wanting to improve their life. I have to say, his second marriage seem to have more promise and more passion than his first marriage. His first marriage seemed to be a complete disconnect.
Seems like the more he got connected with himself, the better choices that he made. He definately made choices with his carnal desires, which sometimes doesn't have the best results when picking the future mother of your children.
I really enjoyed the writing and the introspection of this memoir. It really forces the reader to start taking his own choices in life and examining them too. He made me want to start journaling more!
Very interesting story. My biggest criticism would be the cover. I think he could find I better cover. I found the cover of the book a little creepy.
It's a painful process discecting his marriages. I feel that I gained a lot personally by reading about his journey of self discovery. I also have a great desire to dig deep to find my authentic self. I admire his courage. Each chapter I could feel his sense of self getting stronger the deeper he dug.
I truly felt that his second marriage was probably the love of his life, the woman that he truly loved. His last marriage might have been the healthiest marriage, I personally think he would have been happier working on himself rather than being in that marriage.
To me this is a book that needs to be slowly digested. Because the subject matter is painful to read at times, I found myself having to put it away for periods of time and come back to it. The relationship challenges were to intense for me to take reading all at one sitting.
But I'm glad that I kept reading. It was worth the time and the effort. I learned a lot from the process. I think that I too shall start my own journaling to dig deeper into myself to try to find my authentic self. I can tell from reading this book, the results are very rewarding to one's life.
I have to say that this man's story sucked me in from the very beginning. This just seemed like a person genuinely interested in getting to the bottom of how he played a part in the destruction of his marriages. He seemed like he wished to change his course of actions to possibly have a better outcome next time.
How can you not love it when someone is wanting to improve their life. I have to say, his second marriage seem to have more promise and more passion than his first marriage. His first marriage seemed to be a complete disconnect.
Seems like the more he got connected with himself, the better choices that he made. He definately made choices with his carnal desires, which sometimes doesn't have the best results when picking the future mother of your children.
I really enjoyed the writing and the introspection of this memoir. It really forces the reader to start taking his own choices in life and examining them too. He made me want to start journaling more!
Very interesting story. My biggest criticism would be the cover. I think he could find I better cover. I found the cover of the book a little creepy.
December 1, 2013
Subtitled, ‘A Writer Uncovers His Marriages’, this piece of autobiography is a fascinating and compelling insight into the mind and spirit of an American writer.
A reader from outside the sometimes insular and self-congratulatory arena of the USA, I found this memoir accessible, moving, entertaining and surprisingly informative about more than just the author and his wives. The reader is taken deep into the lives of the subjects. All are flawed and most reflect the human condition that prevents us from learning by our own mistakes, let alone those of others. The repeated patterns of ill-advised behaviour echo the lives of so many.
That the author was the instrument of his own downfall is the superficial judgment that first surfaces. But, as he digs deeper and reveals more of his early life, it becomes apparent that he, and almost certainly his wives, suffered from the consequences of inadequate parenting. The account recalled to mind an excellent book on that topic: everyone should read ‘They F**k You Up’, but that’s a different review.
Boyd Lemon is frank, courageous and surprisingly honest about his relationships with women, treating his wives and girlfriends with the unconscious disdain engendered by the values and traditions of the far right. He loathes his job, but is too much in love with the money and what it can buy to break out of the cycle that traps him in unhappiness. Living the American Dream, he is initially blind to the true consequences of an existence led in pursuit of material benefits intended to impress his peers. Does he finally discover the reality? You’ll need to read the book to find out.
There is intimate detail here; the emotional, physical, spiritual and philosophical threads that are woven into his life are untwined and laid before the reader to inspect and examine. I suspect the act of writing this autobiography has been deeply cathartic for him. As a reader, I felt involved, intrigued, irritated, exasperated, excited, hopeful and joyful by turns. This is a ride that takes you high and low and hides none of the ugly details, whilst showing you the delights and wonders life can bring.
I’ve had the book on my Kindle for a while and finally got around to reading it as it popped up next on the list. Although unable to read it all in one go, I was driven to return to it whenever an opportunity presented itself. Anyone interested in the lives of others, curious about writers, involved in a difficult relationship, unsure of their place in the world of work, or simply intrigued by what drives individuals to make the choices they make, will enjoy this book. I recommend it without reservation.
A reader from outside the sometimes insular and self-congratulatory arena of the USA, I found this memoir accessible, moving, entertaining and surprisingly informative about more than just the author and his wives. The reader is taken deep into the lives of the subjects. All are flawed and most reflect the human condition that prevents us from learning by our own mistakes, let alone those of others. The repeated patterns of ill-advised behaviour echo the lives of so many.
That the author was the instrument of his own downfall is the superficial judgment that first surfaces. But, as he digs deeper and reveals more of his early life, it becomes apparent that he, and almost certainly his wives, suffered from the consequences of inadequate parenting. The account recalled to mind an excellent book on that topic: everyone should read ‘They F**k You Up’, but that’s a different review.
Boyd Lemon is frank, courageous and surprisingly honest about his relationships with women, treating his wives and girlfriends with the unconscious disdain engendered by the values and traditions of the far right. He loathes his job, but is too much in love with the money and what it can buy to break out of the cycle that traps him in unhappiness. Living the American Dream, he is initially blind to the true consequences of an existence led in pursuit of material benefits intended to impress his peers. Does he finally discover the reality? You’ll need to read the book to find out.
There is intimate detail here; the emotional, physical, spiritual and philosophical threads that are woven into his life are untwined and laid before the reader to inspect and examine. I suspect the act of writing this autobiography has been deeply cathartic for him. As a reader, I felt involved, intrigued, irritated, exasperated, excited, hopeful and joyful by turns. This is a ride that takes you high and low and hides none of the ugly details, whilst showing you the delights and wonders life can bring.
I’ve had the book on my Kindle for a while and finally got around to reading it as it popped up next on the list. Although unable to read it all in one go, I was driven to return to it whenever an opportunity presented itself. Anyone interested in the lives of others, curious about writers, involved in a difficult relationship, unsure of their place in the world of work, or simply intrigued by what drives individuals to make the choices they make, will enjoy this book. I recommend it without reservation.
February 27, 2012
“Digging Deep: A Writer Uncovers His Marriages” by Boyd Lemon is an autobiographical book about Mr. Lemon’s three marriages and the role he played in his three divorces. The author is brutally honest when looking at himself and the people in his lives, sometimes to the point of making the reader uncomfortable with such honesty.
Mr. Lemon, through writing, was able to finally face the issues that made him behave the way he did. He writes switching from the past to the present in a style that feels like the reader is right there with him when he makes these discoveries.
“Maybe writing about it will provide the answer. I write many
times about my conduct and try to come with an answer. What
rings most true is somewhat different with each wife… I didn't
want to face the hard questions, such as why I didn’t pay
attention to her or give her the respect and affection she
needed. Still I think there is more. I’ll keep digging and
writing.”
He is also very upfront about his drinking problems. A lot of readers will probably see themselves when they read either about the relationship issues or the drinking problems and it may make them stop and take a look at their own lives and see what is working and what is not working.
The book is definitely for adults. There are a lot of detailed sexual experiences described throughout the book. Mr. Lemon talks about his parents and how they shaped his decisions, his work life, his marriages, and his children. Anyone who is thinking about marrying should read this book first so they can perhaps see what baggage they are potentially taking into the marriage and that the ability to communicate with your partner is key to making any marriage successful.
Mr. Lemon has a very compelling style of writing that keeps the reader engaged throughout the entire book. It is obvious that this book was the best therapy for Mr. Lemon and that he hopes that it can be therapeutically helpful for others. It encourages the reader to look deeply into themselves, an area most people prefer to ignore. I can see it being used in couples counseling to help the therapist help couples look more honestly at their lives and why they make the decisions they do.
I enjoyed this book and I hope that Mr. Lemon will continue with his writing. He has a lot to offer and I feel that he probably still has a lot of stories to tell.
**This book was received for free through Goodreads First Reads. That in no way influenced my review.**
Mr. Lemon, through writing, was able to finally face the issues that made him behave the way he did. He writes switching from the past to the present in a style that feels like the reader is right there with him when he makes these discoveries.
“Maybe writing about it will provide the answer. I write many
times about my conduct and try to come with an answer. What
rings most true is somewhat different with each wife… I didn't
want to face the hard questions, such as why I didn’t pay
attention to her or give her the respect and affection she
needed. Still I think there is more. I’ll keep digging and
writing.”
He is also very upfront about his drinking problems. A lot of readers will probably see themselves when they read either about the relationship issues or the drinking problems and it may make them stop and take a look at their own lives and see what is working and what is not working.
The book is definitely for adults. There are a lot of detailed sexual experiences described throughout the book. Mr. Lemon talks about his parents and how they shaped his decisions, his work life, his marriages, and his children. Anyone who is thinking about marrying should read this book first so they can perhaps see what baggage they are potentially taking into the marriage and that the ability to communicate with your partner is key to making any marriage successful.
Mr. Lemon has a very compelling style of writing that keeps the reader engaged throughout the entire book. It is obvious that this book was the best therapy for Mr. Lemon and that he hopes that it can be therapeutically helpful for others. It encourages the reader to look deeply into themselves, an area most people prefer to ignore. I can see it being used in couples counseling to help the therapist help couples look more honestly at their lives and why they make the decisions they do.
I enjoyed this book and I hope that Mr. Lemon will continue with his writing. He has a lot to offer and I feel that he probably still has a lot of stories to tell.
**This book was received for free through Goodreads First Reads. That in no way influenced my review.**
June 30, 2013
From the first page, Mr. Lemon captured my attention, spending time with his grandchildren and watching how his daughter and son-in-law interacted with them. Perhaps if he has spent more time and affection with any of this three wives, his marriages may have turned out differently. The author is very candid about his life, and he doesn't push blame around. Growing up in a different time, women stayed home. They took care of the kids, the house and made dinner. They didn't work. When a young Boyd gets married, he wonders why his wife isn't more like his mother. Haven't most of us women seen some side of that from our spouses? It doesn't work out, so Boyd climbs the corporate ladder and marries again, then again. Sure, divorces are hard, but they are harder on the children. Boyd eventually ends up in Boston, living platonically with a young woman and from there he feels the desire to pen his memoir. Maybe then he can figure out what went wrong with his relationships. He takes much of the blame, but it is not all his to clutch.
With keen perception, sincerity and savvy writing, Boyd captures your attention and doesn't let go. The characters are well-developed and the pages just fly by. This would be a great book for anyone in a relationship. It speaks true and is very insightful.
With keen perception, sincerity and savvy writing, Boyd captures your attention and doesn't let go. The characters are well-developed and the pages just fly by. This would be a great book for anyone in a relationship. It speaks true and is very insightful.
March 8, 2012
I won a copy of this book through the Goodreads First Reads program. I never really read a book of this type before. I didn’t know what to expect. It seems like a book as deep and honest as this one deserves a deeper review than the one I’m writing so I will try my best.
A Writer Uncovers His Marriages” by Boyd Lemon is an autobiographical book about Mr. Lemon’s three marriages and the role he played in his three divorces. The author is brutally honest when looking at himself and the people in his lives, Incredibly intimate details emerge as Mr. Boyd "digs deep" to find out what happened in his past - the book pulls no punches and he doesn't shy away from the ugly bits. He's been through three marriages and four children, and is basically lost as to why they didn't work and what part he played in their demise. Sometimes to the point of making the reader uncomfortable with such honesty.
The odd thing is that I think the people it would help the most are the least likely to read it. So I guess the second best audience would be those who are married to the people who need to read this book. This book helped me understand what my parents divorce a bit better
I applaud this author for such a fascinating and brave book
A Writer Uncovers His Marriages” by Boyd Lemon is an autobiographical book about Mr. Lemon’s three marriages and the role he played in his three divorces. The author is brutally honest when looking at himself and the people in his lives, Incredibly intimate details emerge as Mr. Boyd "digs deep" to find out what happened in his past - the book pulls no punches and he doesn't shy away from the ugly bits. He's been through three marriages and four children, and is basically lost as to why they didn't work and what part he played in their demise. Sometimes to the point of making the reader uncomfortable with such honesty.
The odd thing is that I think the people it would help the most are the least likely to read it. So I guess the second best audience would be those who are married to the people who need to read this book. This book helped me understand what my parents divorce a bit better
I applaud this author for such a fascinating and brave book
October 2, 2011
"Digging Deep" by Boyd Lemon is plain in delivery with flourishes of creative phrase that are interesting yet never mask truth from the author's perspective. There was much hard won wisdom throughout the narrative that could apply across cultures, but I did find some of it more especially related to what I think of as new American and of European descent. So for some, me included, the general life and story wasn't applicable per se.
There were parts I could understand and empathize with such as not wanting to be different, even though in my case I am literally different, while other choices and behaviors were completely alien and though I've comprehended and observed such, it wouldn't occur to me to do so at any time. I think that's the nature of memoirs, however, and why some appeal to peers and then others have no interest in ones too different from their own lives or realms of experience. Adult language, situations and explicit descriptions are a part of the whole that are indicative of an adult's life, so that should be no surprise for mature readers. I believe this memoir would have great appeal to select groups but should be admired by all for its intention.
There were parts I could understand and empathize with such as not wanting to be different, even though in my case I am literally different, while other choices and behaviors were completely alien and though I've comprehended and observed such, it wouldn't occur to me to do so at any time. I think that's the nature of memoirs, however, and why some appeal to peers and then others have no interest in ones too different from their own lives or realms of experience. Adult language, situations and explicit descriptions are a part of the whole that are indicative of an adult's life, so that should be no surprise for mature readers. I believe this memoir would have great appeal to select groups but should be admired by all for its intention.
August 23, 2014
Mr. Boyd Lemon is a very honest man and at times is brutal in his honesty towards himself and his marriages. It was very enlightening to read and made me reflect on my life and relationships.
The book is very much equal parts of process and product. The idea that you can write about how and why you are writing about your past is an interesting one though it does make for some confusing moments in the book where you are unsure of when he is speaking and writing. I found the references to the years and the events therein very founded and grounding for me in the timeline.
The only issue I have about this book is that he refers to his third wife and those events while writing about his first. It made some of the issues a little confusing though it was like having a conversation with someone and learning about them.
Overall the book was a nice read. It did take me longer to read than others and I think it was because the book was very much thought provoking and made me look back at my past while reading it.
The book is very much equal parts of process and product. The idea that you can write about how and why you are writing about your past is an interesting one though it does make for some confusing moments in the book where you are unsure of when he is speaking and writing. I found the references to the years and the events therein very founded and grounding for me in the timeline.
The only issue I have about this book is that he refers to his third wife and those events while writing about his first. It made some of the issues a little confusing though it was like having a conversation with someone and learning about them.
Overall the book was a nice read. It did take me longer to read than others and I think it was because the book was very much thought provoking and made me look back at my past while reading it.
March 16, 2013
Wow. I just finished reading Digging Deep and I have to say, this is by far one of the best memoirs I've ever read. Clearly, Boyd poured his heart into this work, and it shows. With absolute brutal honestly, the author describes the elements of so many failed marriages, two of my own included. Lack of communication is the biggest one; followed very closely by lack of understanding of oneself. Of course, that is a chicken-and-egg scenario--if you don't understand yourself well enough, how can you communicate your wants, needs and desires in a relationship with another? Through descriptive, interesting narrative, Boyd illustrates this dilemma clearly. I highly recommend this for anyone considering marriage for the first time, or those wondering why a former marriage broke down. I certainly learned from it and am very grateful for his honesty and candor. Thank you, Mr. Lemon.
August 14, 2011
“If all you do is move on, you don’t learn anything.” Boyd Lemon studies his three divorces with an objective eye and an astonishing openness that encompasses his innermost thoughts, experiences with women and sex and drugs, expectations based on his parents’ marriage, and difficulties dealing with changing societal mores of the 60s and 70s. Lemon writes well – personable, with descriptive prose – and has had some quite interesting experiences. There are a great many men who would benefit from reading this book, but women are the other half of making a happy marriage and can learn from it, too. Digging Deep is for those brave enough to want insights into their own relationships and how they can make them better. Rated R and probably most relevant for readers middle-aged and older.
February 20, 2012
Boyd Lemon's almost brutal self-exposure gives a fascinating insight into what can so easily go wrong in intimate personal relationships. In this warts and all account of three marriages he shows hoiw his own obsessions and failings allowed situations to arise and then deteriorate with cataclysmic results. Through his candid descriptions Lemon provides a series of lessons to all who leave gaps in their marriage. This is a seminal work for anyone interested in interpersonal dynamics and should be required reading for all social science students. But you don't need to be an academic to read this; whilst offering a universty level study material, the book is easy to read and compelling enough to keep any reader's attention to the last page.
March 8, 2012
I was lucky to win a copy of this book through the Goodreads First Reads program.
This is an incredibly brave and breathtakingly honest look back at a life that initially seems to be unsatisfying to the author. He's been through three marriages and four children, and is basically lost as to why they didn't work and what part he played in their demise.
Incredibly intimate details emerge as Mr. Boyd "digs deep" to find out what happened in his past - the book pulls no punches and he doesn't shy away from the ugly bits. He really honestly explores his past, experiences regrets, and then finds some hope.
Subject matter includes alcoholism, sex used as a weapon, gender roles/feminism and parenthood.
I applaud this author for such a fascinating and brave book.
This is an incredibly brave and breathtakingly honest look back at a life that initially seems to be unsatisfying to the author. He's been through three marriages and four children, and is basically lost as to why they didn't work and what part he played in their demise.
Incredibly intimate details emerge as Mr. Boyd "digs deep" to find out what happened in his past - the book pulls no punches and he doesn't shy away from the ugly bits. He really honestly explores his past, experiences regrets, and then finds some hope.
Subject matter includes alcoholism, sex used as a weapon, gender roles/feminism and parenthood.
I applaud this author for such a fascinating and brave book.
September 19, 2013
Or "The History of Marriage". It was really interesting to hear about the cultural issues during the past 50 years or so that influenced Lemon, and obviously his marriages. Writing has always been an extremely emotional affair for me, and I can only imagine the kind of internal exploration and true digging that Lemon must have gone through during the process of writing this novel. I would definitely recommend Digging Deep..to anyone who has been, is, or wants to experience the joy of marriage, this truly is an amazing insight into Lemon's life.
Darcee Kraus
Mckinleyville, CA
http://www.etsy.com/shop/BlassGlass
Darcee Kraus
Mckinleyville, CA
http://www.etsy.com/shop/BlassGlass
March 15, 2013
Boyd Lemon is a brutally honest man. A man afraid of being alone, still makes the same mistakes over and over again in his relationships. Boyd is incredibly open and honest in regard to his marriages. This was a very refreshing read and I enjoyed it immensely. I would definitely recommend this book!
First Reads win! Thank you!
First Reads win! Thank you!
February 21, 2013
Digging Deep was a compelling read for me, I do recommend.
February 5, 2016
I liked it overall. the only thing was a couple of parts were a little repetitive.
Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews