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The Power of Accepting Yourself
Are you your own worst enemy? Does fear stop you from being the person you want to be? Do you always think you can't - whether it is passing an exam, finding a new job, maintaining a healthy weight or tackling any of the problems life puts your way? The good news is that these common fears can be overcome. Michael Cohen can help you lose negative attitudes so that you can fully accept yourself, plan for the future and start to move forward in your life. In this book learn how to: Value yourself, no matter what others say. Stop letting the opinions of others to rule your life. Find out what holds you back from making the changes you want. Deal with anxiety, fear, worry and depression.
- GenresSelf Help
174 pages, Paperback
First published January 10, 2011
2 people are currently reading
49 people want to read
About the author
Michael Cohen
3 books11 followersI am a Cognitive Behavioural Hypnotherapist and writer based in South London and Kingston Surrey United Kingdom. I have 28 years experience in assisting people with a wide range of problems including Anxiety, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, Low mood, fears and phobias. I also run a popular Smoking Cessation Program. My first book "Identifying, Understanding and Solutions to Stress" was published in 2001. My Second book "The Power of Accepting Yourself " was published in January 2011 by Bookline and Thinker Ltd
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Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
July 30, 2012
The Power of Accepting Yourself – Michael Cohen, published Bookline and Thinker
Albert Ellis, the founder of Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT) considers that one of the problems with the human condition is our sense of unworthiness. We overcome this by achievements, raising our self-esteem with good grades, good style, beautiful houses, and working to please others. In The Power of Accepting Yourself Cohen distinguishes between this rated self-esteem; and self worth, where we feel good about ourselves simply for who we are, not for what we have achieved.
Self worth is all about being able to make mistakes, to not look great all the time, to not do our best in every moment and still feel comfortable with ourselves. Isn’t this rather de-motivating though? Not when you consider that low self worth leads to common conditions like anxiety and depression, two of the most de-motivating of human conditions.
Oprah Winfrey said ‘Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.’ Quite, but in my experience, it’s often us telling ourselves our friends won’t want to be with us on the bus, whereas really they would be happy to. In other words, we don’t want to be on the bus with ourselves.
Cohen’s book talks about Unconditional Self Acceptance and how we can recognize that we all (yes all) have shortcomings and that nobody is perfect. Case studies help to illustrate how we can be way too hard on ourselves and set ourselves unreachable goals and standards that we cannot meet. Following REBT closely, Cohen helps us to understand how we do this through holding irrational beliefs ‘ I must give a perfect speech, if I don’t it will be awful and I couldn’t stand it’. He teaches us how we can become aware of these beliefs, how to test their realism and how to decide whether to hold on to them or not.
In his work as a hypnotherapist, Cohen has clearly worked with clients who present with the types of issues that you or I might have, and a cross section of case studies are outlined in the book. Attending the school reunion; the break up of a relationship; giving a speech; taking a driving test; worrying about our ability to take a University course. The case studies neatly illustrate an underlying common feeling that we are not good enough, or that somehow everyone else could cope better than us.
These underlying common feelings are often, Cohen points out, irrational beliefs that aren’t doing us any favours. The more perfect we think we must be, the more we are likely to fail. It’s common, he says, to have irrational beliefs. When we learn to notice them and challenge them, we usually feel a whole lot better, and when we feel better, we interact better with the world around us.
What I like about this book is that it held my attention easily. As a book, it is accepting of the human condition. Self-help doesn’t need loads of theory and hundreds of exercises. The book accepts itself for what it is, keeping things simple. The range of advice and exercises Cohen provides is both plenty and not too much. There is variety here that allows you to practice and develop tools for relaxation, for self-awareness, for new ways of thinking and for new routines. The exercises all complement each other, and they all stand-alone too.
But don’t be fooled into thinking that the simplicity of this book rests on a simple theory. REBT has, since the 1950’s, played a major part in the development of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, which is now commonly used as a short-term therapy. This book is a good introduction to what therapy really is about. Modern therapy is not about ‘being analysed’, but about training us in self-analysis. Once we know what we are doing, we can change it. A contradiction? Not if what we need to change is our belief that we need to change.
A super little book that demystifies modern therapy and presents an easy programme of change for the reader.
Albert Ellis, the founder of Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT) considers that one of the problems with the human condition is our sense of unworthiness. We overcome this by achievements, raising our self-esteem with good grades, good style, beautiful houses, and working to please others. In The Power of Accepting Yourself Cohen distinguishes between this rated self-esteem; and self worth, where we feel good about ourselves simply for who we are, not for what we have achieved.
Self worth is all about being able to make mistakes, to not look great all the time, to not do our best in every moment and still feel comfortable with ourselves. Isn’t this rather de-motivating though? Not when you consider that low self worth leads to common conditions like anxiety and depression, two of the most de-motivating of human conditions.
Oprah Winfrey said ‘Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.’ Quite, but in my experience, it’s often us telling ourselves our friends won’t want to be with us on the bus, whereas really they would be happy to. In other words, we don’t want to be on the bus with ourselves.
Cohen’s book talks about Unconditional Self Acceptance and how we can recognize that we all (yes all) have shortcomings and that nobody is perfect. Case studies help to illustrate how we can be way too hard on ourselves and set ourselves unreachable goals and standards that we cannot meet. Following REBT closely, Cohen helps us to understand how we do this through holding irrational beliefs ‘ I must give a perfect speech, if I don’t it will be awful and I couldn’t stand it’. He teaches us how we can become aware of these beliefs, how to test their realism and how to decide whether to hold on to them or not.
In his work as a hypnotherapist, Cohen has clearly worked with clients who present with the types of issues that you or I might have, and a cross section of case studies are outlined in the book. Attending the school reunion; the break up of a relationship; giving a speech; taking a driving test; worrying about our ability to take a University course. The case studies neatly illustrate an underlying common feeling that we are not good enough, or that somehow everyone else could cope better than us.
These underlying common feelings are often, Cohen points out, irrational beliefs that aren’t doing us any favours. The more perfect we think we must be, the more we are likely to fail. It’s common, he says, to have irrational beliefs. When we learn to notice them and challenge them, we usually feel a whole lot better, and when we feel better, we interact better with the world around us.
What I like about this book is that it held my attention easily. As a book, it is accepting of the human condition. Self-help doesn’t need loads of theory and hundreds of exercises. The book accepts itself for what it is, keeping things simple. The range of advice and exercises Cohen provides is both plenty and not too much. There is variety here that allows you to practice and develop tools for relaxation, for self-awareness, for new ways of thinking and for new routines. The exercises all complement each other, and they all stand-alone too.
But don’t be fooled into thinking that the simplicity of this book rests on a simple theory. REBT has, since the 1950’s, played a major part in the development of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, which is now commonly used as a short-term therapy. This book is a good introduction to what therapy really is about. Modern therapy is not about ‘being analysed’, but about training us in self-analysis. Once we know what we are doing, we can change it. A contradiction? Not if what we need to change is our belief that we need to change.
A super little book that demystifies modern therapy and presents an easy programme of change for the reader.
March 29, 2013
A great little book which helps change unhelpful belief systems.
May 28, 2013
Its an interesting book that has gave me some insight of how to handle it.
September 2, 2017
I wasn't expecting much from this book, but as i read on, i find the advice are useful and make sense to me. These pieces of advice came across to me a little 'theory-like', but maybe because of the way it is, the theories are straightfoward and direct, I can easily understand where the author is driving at and know how to go forward.
A good summary of the basics principles you need to embrace.
A good summary of the basics principles you need to embrace.
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews