What do you think?
Rate this book
We of Little Faith: Why I Stopped Pretending to Believe
"It's an inspiring book that will—hopefully—push us toward a larger cultural conversation in which 'atheism' isn't seen as a dirty word." —The Humanist
America doesn't need more God. It needs more atheists. Here's an impassioned call for nonbelievers to be honest with themselves and their families about their lack of belief—and help change the American cultural conversation.
Even though a growing number of Americans don't believe in god, many remain reluctant to say so out loud. Kate Cohen argues that not only is it rewarding for those of little faith to announce themselves, it's crucial to our country's future.
As she details the challenges and joys of fully embracing atheism—especially as a parent—Washington Post contributing columnist Kate Cohen does not dismiss religion as dangerous or silly. Instead, she investigates religion's appeal in order to explain the ways we can thrive without it.
Americans who don't believe in god call themselves atheists, agnostics, humanists, skeptics, and freethinkers. Sometimes they are called "nones," based on the box they checked on a survey identifying their religion. And sometimes they call themselves Jewish, Christian, Muslim, or Buddhist.
Whatever you call yourself, if you don't believe there's a supernatural being in charge of the universe, it's time to join the chorus of We of Little Faith.
America doesn't need more God. It needs more atheists. Here's an impassioned call for nonbelievers to be honest with themselves and their families about their lack of belief—and help change the American cultural conversation.
Even though a growing number of Americans don't believe in god, many remain reluctant to say so out loud. Kate Cohen argues that not only is it rewarding for those of little faith to announce themselves, it's crucial to our country's future.
As she details the challenges and joys of fully embracing atheism—especially as a parent—Washington Post contributing columnist Kate Cohen does not dismiss religion as dangerous or silly. Instead, she investigates religion's appeal in order to explain the ways we can thrive without it.
Americans who don't believe in god call themselves atheists, agnostics, humanists, skeptics, and freethinkers. Sometimes they are called "nones," based on the box they checked on a survey identifying their religion. And sometimes they call themselves Jewish, Christian, Muslim, or Buddhist.
Whatever you call yourself, if you don't believe there's a supernatural being in charge of the universe, it's time to join the chorus of We of Little Faith.
248 pages, Hardcover
Published October 3, 2023
74 people are currently reading
693 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 88 reviews
November 26, 2024
I chose this book because I've read several of Ms Cohen's articles in the Washington Post. It's an interesting topic, atheism, particularly today when more and more people are foregoing affiliation with churches, synagogues, denominations, and describing themselves in surveys as "Nones." Cohen treats her subject with respect for others, acknowledging from the start that religious belief offers important support both for individuals and communities. She further notes that she does not -- and would not -- want to try to convince any person of faith to change their mind. For her, the matter comes down basically to: faith has its benefits, true, but it's faith in something that doesn't exist.
Think of "We of Little Faith" as a memoir and a meditation, not a polemic. Cohen considers -- in the abstract and with reference to her own family and friends -- the many purposes religion (and its attendant rituals, holidays, etc.) serves, the dynamics of belief/disbelief within families (should her son have a bat mitzah? if not, how should he explain it to his observant grandfather?), how other Western countries view atheism differently than Americans do, and so on, and looks at how these same functions can be served without religion. In each case she writes with intelligence, personal anecdotes, and wit.
For example: People of faith will argue that morality comes from "above" and is found, say, in the Bible. But the proposition doesn't hold, she says, for those textually based values are not universally adopted: "[We] pick the parts of the religious tradition that suit [our] values. Which would mean [the] value system, by definition, is a separate entity from the religious tradition that it judges." We specifically choose which commandments, rules, etc., to embrace and ignore the one's we don't like. In short, "We make scripture conform to our morality, not the other way around."
She also talks about "miraculous" rescues at sea that are the results not of divine intervention, as people will claim, but advances in technology made by people. (She mentions a news report where Wolf Blitzer interviews a survivor of a tornado. When says the standard 'You must feel really blessed' -- the woman pauses a beat and says, 'Well, actually I'm an atheist so...') Or about schools, churches, community services, and such that are in dire financial straits and facing dissolution, when suddenly, as a result of a news story (for example), people start sending checks, saving the school, and people offer thanks to God for his intervention. The problem with this way of thinking, Cohen says, is, "If God briefly brought attention and good fortune to [the school], then it’s God who... lets it languish—or God who leaves the school down the road to languish. Poverty and its relief [thus] are His doing, not ours... Talking as if God were in charge encourages us to act as if he is. As if the differential between rich schools and poor schools—as if the next school massacre—were not, ultimately, our responsibility."
The title and subtitle give the reader a reasonable idea of what the book will be about. I can't say I read anything here that about belief v. disbelief I hadn't read before but I wasn't seeking anything new. What gives the book its character is not an argument itself but how Ms Cohen speak, how she presents herself and her choices to us: like wrestling with whether or not to raise her children as atheists or interacting with close friends and relatives who are believers. She does all this well with wit and humor.
Rather than try to summarize anything, I'll share some representative passages and let them speak for themselves.
• On belief in an afterlife: "Death is a mystery only because we insist that it is. Otherwise, we’d have to accept the observable fact, as yet unrefuted by any evidence, that when people die, they disappear—instantly, in terms of their being, and, in terms of their bodies, after a period of decomposition. They simply cease to exist."
• On what is lost when people are silent about being atheists: "The more that good people pretend to believe in God, or let other people think they do, the more that people will think you have to believe in God to be good."
• On American perceptions of atheists in political culture: "Pew Research Center surveyed Americans before the 2016 presidential election and found that being an atheist was the most negative possible trait, worse than being gay, old, adulterous, or completely lacking experience."
• On the potential benefit of atheism: "... anti-atheist sentiment is not a matter of life and death in America. But transphobia is, sexual violence against women is, forced birth is, climate change is, and global pandemics are. If you need a reason to let people know that you don’t believe moral authority derives from a Supreme Being, then I offer you no less than making America a safer, smarter, more just, and more compassionate country."
• On ubiquitous "hopes and prayers" in the wake of tragedy: More than any other passage in the book, this (painfully powerful) one struck me as central to where the author is coming from, the mixture of empathy and intellect that shape her thinking: "Part of me hopes all the parents of children lost to gun violence are believers, that, for the rest of their lives, they live in an alternate reality, imagining—no, knowing—that that their children continue to live happily after death, watching out for their siblings. But I hope the rest of us know that’s not true. Or at least that we act as if it isn’t. Because I’ve just thought of something more grotesque than a massacre of school children: the repeated massacre of school children. Best case, belief in God gives people solace when something terrible happens; worst case, it allows them to shirk their very real responsibilities to one another while offering “thoughts and prayers.” We can’t stop it if we believe that a massacre is simply God calling his angels home, if we believe he has a mysterious plan that involves children hiding among their friends’ dead bodies to keep from being shot themselves.
Reading "We of Little Faith" is like having a conversation with a neighbor or relative you like. It has none of the anger or condescension that mark other well-known books on the subject (e.g., Harris, Dawkins, Hitchens). It will not change anyone's mind, nor does it seek to... except, perhaps, for encouraging other atheists to stop hiding what they truly believe: "If you embrace your atheism I won’t tell you to stop going to church or stop bowing your head while someone says grace or stop singing Christmas carols. But I will ask you to remember the human power behind things. If the Coast Guard saves you, find out how. If children die senselessly, find out why—and try to stop it. If you need to forget about yourself, help someone else."
Think of "We of Little Faith" as a memoir and a meditation, not a polemic. Cohen considers -- in the abstract and with reference to her own family and friends -- the many purposes religion (and its attendant rituals, holidays, etc.) serves, the dynamics of belief/disbelief within families (should her son have a bat mitzah? if not, how should he explain it to his observant grandfather?), how other Western countries view atheism differently than Americans do, and so on, and looks at how these same functions can be served without religion. In each case she writes with intelligence, personal anecdotes, and wit.
For example: People of faith will argue that morality comes from "above" and is found, say, in the Bible. But the proposition doesn't hold, she says, for those textually based values are not universally adopted: "[We] pick the parts of the religious tradition that suit [our] values. Which would mean [the] value system, by definition, is a separate entity from the religious tradition that it judges." We specifically choose which commandments, rules, etc., to embrace and ignore the one's we don't like. In short, "We make scripture conform to our morality, not the other way around."
She also talks about "miraculous" rescues at sea that are the results not of divine intervention, as people will claim, but advances in technology made by people. (She mentions a news report where Wolf Blitzer interviews a survivor of a tornado. When says the standard 'You must feel really blessed' -- the woman pauses a beat and says, 'Well, actually I'm an atheist so...') Or about schools, churches, community services, and such that are in dire financial straits and facing dissolution, when suddenly, as a result of a news story (for example), people start sending checks, saving the school, and people offer thanks to God for his intervention. The problem with this way of thinking, Cohen says, is, "If God briefly brought attention and good fortune to [the school], then it’s God who... lets it languish—or God who leaves the school down the road to languish. Poverty and its relief [thus] are His doing, not ours... Talking as if God were in charge encourages us to act as if he is. As if the differential between rich schools and poor schools—as if the next school massacre—were not, ultimately, our responsibility."
The title and subtitle give the reader a reasonable idea of what the book will be about. I can't say I read anything here that about belief v. disbelief I hadn't read before but I wasn't seeking anything new. What gives the book its character is not an argument itself but how Ms Cohen speak, how she presents herself and her choices to us: like wrestling with whether or not to raise her children as atheists or interacting with close friends and relatives who are believers. She does all this well with wit and humor.
Rather than try to summarize anything, I'll share some representative passages and let them speak for themselves.
• On belief in an afterlife: "Death is a mystery only because we insist that it is. Otherwise, we’d have to accept the observable fact, as yet unrefuted by any evidence, that when people die, they disappear—instantly, in terms of their being, and, in terms of their bodies, after a period of decomposition. They simply cease to exist."
• On what is lost when people are silent about being atheists: "The more that good people pretend to believe in God, or let other people think they do, the more that people will think you have to believe in God to be good."
• On American perceptions of atheists in political culture: "Pew Research Center surveyed Americans before the 2016 presidential election and found that being an atheist was the most negative possible trait, worse than being gay, old, adulterous, or completely lacking experience."
• On the potential benefit of atheism: "... anti-atheist sentiment is not a matter of life and death in America. But transphobia is, sexual violence against women is, forced birth is, climate change is, and global pandemics are. If you need a reason to let people know that you don’t believe moral authority derives from a Supreme Being, then I offer you no less than making America a safer, smarter, more just, and more compassionate country."
• On ubiquitous "hopes and prayers" in the wake of tragedy: More than any other passage in the book, this (painfully powerful) one struck me as central to where the author is coming from, the mixture of empathy and intellect that shape her thinking: "Part of me hopes all the parents of children lost to gun violence are believers, that, for the rest of their lives, they live in an alternate reality, imagining—no, knowing—that that their children continue to live happily after death, watching out for their siblings. But I hope the rest of us know that’s not true. Or at least that we act as if it isn’t. Because I’ve just thought of something more grotesque than a massacre of school children: the repeated massacre of school children. Best case, belief in God gives people solace when something terrible happens; worst case, it allows them to shirk their very real responsibilities to one another while offering “thoughts and prayers.” We can’t stop it if we believe that a massacre is simply God calling his angels home, if we believe he has a mysterious plan that involves children hiding among their friends’ dead bodies to keep from being shot themselves.
Reading "We of Little Faith" is like having a conversation with a neighbor or relative you like. It has none of the anger or condescension that mark other well-known books on the subject (e.g., Harris, Dawkins, Hitchens). It will not change anyone's mind, nor does it seek to... except, perhaps, for encouraging other atheists to stop hiding what they truly believe: "If you embrace your atheism I won’t tell you to stop going to church or stop bowing your head while someone says grace or stop singing Christmas carols. But I will ask you to remember the human power behind things. If the Coast Guard saves you, find out how. If children die senselessly, find out why—and try to stop it. If you need to forget about yourself, help someone else."
October 3, 2023
I've seen Kate Cohen asked what the purpose of this book was-- is it to convince atheists to "come out" or to memoir-ify her experience as an "out" atheist? She responded: "to entertain." And this book is just so entertaining. It's impossible not to fall in love with the storyteller/op-ed columnist/mother that Kate Cohen is as she takes you through her convincing (and well-researched!) call to action and joyful autobiography.
Now, I believe I am the audience for this book, and that is (at least in part) responsible for how brilliant I found it. I was raised believing in God, and although I no longer do, I still check off my religious affiliation on surveys, tell dentists that my faith has "been made more complex, but richer" since majoring in philosophy (!), and reserve any strong beliefs against the easily-assailable specter of "organized religion." After reading Cohen's book, however, I feel like I have been equipped with the tools to tackle that which I have been lacking, e.g., the simple virtue of telling the truth about one's beliefs, the ability to talk to a Not Me, and stories about her kids that I find incredibly funny.
This book is a must-read-- whether you call yourself an atheist or not, at least it's entertaining.
Now, I believe I am the audience for this book, and that is (at least in part) responsible for how brilliant I found it. I was raised believing in God, and although I no longer do, I still check off my religious affiliation on surveys, tell dentists that my faith has "been made more complex, but richer" since majoring in philosophy (!), and reserve any strong beliefs against the easily-assailable specter of "organized religion." After reading Cohen's book, however, I feel like I have been equipped with the tools to tackle that which I have been lacking, e.g., the simple virtue of telling the truth about one's beliefs, the ability to talk to a Not Me, and stories about her kids that I find incredibly funny.
This book is a must-read-- whether you call yourself an atheist or not, at least it's entertaining.
December 1, 2023
This is a heartwarming little book that wants atheists in America to admit they have no faith. From my Nordic stand point, it’s a little odd, here the non-believers are a majority. However, my family is very religious and for all other things that they have accepted without demur, such as my three divorces and chosen childlessness, I don’t know if my lack of faith would be accepted as easily. We don’t go there. I am very careful to hold my tongue around the most religious of my relatives. However, since none of them ever question why I never go to church, they must know.
If I lived in the United States, what would I do? I don’t know, but if asked, I would admit it. The author’s take is that there are more atheists on that side of the pond than one would think, they just don’t talk about it.
The author talks a lot about traditions and holidays, and is all for inventing one’s own. It’s a bit odd, but she’s Jewish. Me, I know that Easter and Christmas have much longer traditions than the Christian ones. That is why there is so much other stuff - Krampus, the Easter hare, the gnomes, the tree, the lights. I will decorate for Christmas tonight. We call it Yule here (Jul) and it’s about family, friends and food. And that we have survived half the winter and now the light returns. Next year, I think I will adopt Thanksgiving. It’s not celebrated here, but it should be.
Any atheists around goodreads who want to admit that they are?
Note: if we’re not friends, you cannot comment. I got tired of trolls many years ago. 🤷🏼♀️
If I lived in the United States, what would I do? I don’t know, but if asked, I would admit it. The author’s take is that there are more atheists on that side of the pond than one would think, they just don’t talk about it.
The author talks a lot about traditions and holidays, and is all for inventing one’s own. It’s a bit odd, but she’s Jewish. Me, I know that Easter and Christmas have much longer traditions than the Christian ones. That is why there is so much other stuff - Krampus, the Easter hare, the gnomes, the tree, the lights. I will decorate for Christmas tonight. We call it Yule here (Jul) and it’s about family, friends and food. And that we have survived half the winter and now the light returns. Next year, I think I will adopt Thanksgiving. It’s not celebrated here, but it should be.
Any atheists around goodreads who want to admit that they are?
Note: if we’re not friends, you cannot comment. I got tired of trolls many years ago. 🤷🏼♀️
June 4, 2024
There are not enough superlatives in the dictionaries of any language from any country to describe Kate Cohen's excellent book, We of Little Faith: Why I Stopped Pretending to Believe.
It is warm and wonderful and chock-full of great quotes, such as:
"...minimizing the human role minimizes human responsibility, and it obscures and undermines the very real human systems and actions that actually produce the miracles that believers attribute to divine action."
-
Side Note: This book was signed by Kate Cohen, to my wife and I, at the FFRF convention in Madison last year.
It is warm and wonderful and chock-full of great quotes, such as:
"...minimizing the human role minimizes human responsibility, and it obscures and undermines the very real human systems and actions that actually produce the miracles that believers attribute to divine action."
-
Side Note: This book was signed by Kate Cohen, to my wife and I, at the FFRF convention in Madison last year.
January 25, 2024
I have a bad habit of getting books based on there titles and then assuming what it will be about based on the title. Based on the title it was obviously a person's journey away from religion then I assumed it would be discuss atheism and the issues with religion. Instead this is a story of a woman who finally decided to admit publicly that she's an atheist and how she decided to raise her children as atheist not as free thinkers.
My dislike is that she's one of those moms who does all the research on parenting and then thinks she knows everything. They're the ones who raise perfect, successful kids so if you want your kids to be like that then raise them them the way she did. This is most obvious when she brings up non-religious parenting books and points out parts that she doesn't agree with. You'll find it in her snobby remarks about other parents who do or say something and why it's wrong and why she would never do that to her kids. Best example is the author talking about a friend who gave a dumb reason to her 3 year old child about why they didn't eat pork when others did. The author is offended because her friend lied to her child and should have explained to him their religion and why they didn't eat pork. The author then goes on to say that her friend lied because maybe she was secretly a non-believer and so didn't want to admit it to her child. This example also shows another problem which is the author constantly judging the people people she comes in contact with by their actions or looks.
Now to get to the author's journey to embracing her atheism its not really a journey its more of a coming out. She wasn't raised very religious and so never really believed and then finally decided to come out after having kids. Even though she constantly tells you she raised her kids with Jewish traditions and holidays and doesn't celebrate Christian holidays like Christmas. I understand her family is Jewish and they celebrate together but I don't understand how she is fine with celebrating religious holidays from one religion then says that she doesn't celebrate other holidays because they're a religious holiday for a different religion.
She also has a problem with agnostics both atheistic and theistic. She constantly tells readers that she would never call herself an agnostic and that she would never raise her kids to be agnostic. I don't think that she understands that agnostics are mainly people who are willing to change their minds about the existence of a god if they're given credible evidence. I would think that she would want to raise her children to have open minds and a willingness to change their opinions based on evidence. We should be teaching our kids to question everything even God even if you don't believe he exists.
Based on those last two paragraphs and the one star rating that I really hated this book but I don't. The author mentions how many atheist will not publicly admit to being one is true for many different reasons. So the author being able to admit to her friends and family that she's an atheist shows how difficult it is to finally come out as one. The book also shows how difficult it can be to raise non-religious children and the difficulty of talking about things like death. If people who are raising non-religious kids or planning too may found many parenting books on the topic that are great resources. I would say that this should be included because it does offer some good advice and some readers may find it helpful.
My dislike is that she's one of those moms who does all the research on parenting and then thinks she knows everything. They're the ones who raise perfect, successful kids so if you want your kids to be like that then raise them them the way she did. This is most obvious when she brings up non-religious parenting books and points out parts that she doesn't agree with. You'll find it in her snobby remarks about other parents who do or say something and why it's wrong and why she would never do that to her kids. Best example is the author talking about a friend who gave a dumb reason to her 3 year old child about why they didn't eat pork when others did. The author is offended because her friend lied to her child and should have explained to him their religion and why they didn't eat pork. The author then goes on to say that her friend lied because maybe she was secretly a non-believer and so didn't want to admit it to her child. This example also shows another problem which is the author constantly judging the people people she comes in contact with by their actions or looks.
Now to get to the author's journey to embracing her atheism its not really a journey its more of a coming out. She wasn't raised very religious and so never really believed and then finally decided to come out after having kids. Even though she constantly tells you she raised her kids with Jewish traditions and holidays and doesn't celebrate Christian holidays like Christmas. I understand her family is Jewish and they celebrate together but I don't understand how she is fine with celebrating religious holidays from one religion then says that she doesn't celebrate other holidays because they're a religious holiday for a different religion.
She also has a problem with agnostics both atheistic and theistic. She constantly tells readers that she would never call herself an agnostic and that she would never raise her kids to be agnostic. I don't think that she understands that agnostics are mainly people who are willing to change their minds about the existence of a god if they're given credible evidence. I would think that she would want to raise her children to have open minds and a willingness to change their opinions based on evidence. We should be teaching our kids to question everything even God even if you don't believe he exists.
Based on those last two paragraphs and the one star rating that I really hated this book but I don't. The author mentions how many atheist will not publicly admit to being one is true for many different reasons. So the author being able to admit to her friends and family that she's an atheist shows how difficult it is to finally come out as one. The book also shows how difficult it can be to raise non-religious children and the difficulty of talking about things like death. If people who are raising non-religious kids or planning too may found many parenting books on the topic that are great resources. I would say that this should be included because it does offer some good advice and some readers may find it helpful.
December 2, 2023
This author does such a good job giving us suggestions on how to handle all the normalized religion in our lives, and kids lives. How to be our true selves, and approach our kids.
I used to be a fully dedicated evangelical, and vocal about it. Now I’m fully agnostic and *very* vocal about exposing and challenging those beliefs and the harm they cause. Why is it that telling the story to kids of Noah’s Ark is so easily accepted, when it teaches God will destroy you if you don’t follow his rules. Why is it so normalized and acceptable to speak christian jargon? Or have public prayer?
Our society is past the need for those feel-good coping myths. It’s time to move forward, and that work includes stopping the pretends and being vocally agnostic.
Awesome quotes:
“The more secular a society, the better off its citizens. The correlation is clear and strong. The more secular tend to fare better than the more religious on a vast postive measure including homicide and violent crime rates, poverty rates, obesity and diabetes rates, child abuse rates, educational attainment levels, income levels, unemployment rates, rates of sexually transmitted diseases, and teen pregnancies, etc
The correlation between secular and wellbeing holds not only country by country: Sweden vs Pakistan, but also state by state, in the United States. Vermont takes better care of its people than Mississippi does.
But are these facts just accidents of corrolation? Or is the connection causal? Zuckerman argues that greater societal health causes greater secularity. That when people are healthier, wealthier, and more secure, they are less dependent on the consolations of religion, and the promise of a better life after death.”
“Yes, good religion has sometimes led us forward. But in the long run, it could still be holding us back.”
“We can end the epidemic of gun massacres. We have the power to regulate gun ownership, to outlaw the possession of military-style weapons, to buy back AR-15s, to hold gun manufacturers financially and legally liable for the carnage.
Australia stopped it. New Zealand stopped it. Norway stopped it. But we can’t stop it if we believe that a massacre is simply God calling his angels home. If we believe he has a mysterious plan that involves children hiding among their friends’ dead bodies to keep from being shot themselves. We have to believe that what controls the circumstances of one human’s life is humans. Not just individually but in the systems that we create together. Talking as if God were in charge encourages us to act as if he is. As if the differentials between rich schools and poor schools, as if the next school massacre were not, ultimately, our responsibility. But they are. The future of kids is not in God’s hands, it’s in our hands. The next school massacre will not happen on God’s watch, it will happen on ours.”
“Peel back the layers of discrimination against LGBTQ people, and you find: religion. Peel back layers of control over women’s bodies, from dress codes that punish girls for male desire, all the way to the Supreme Court for striking down Roe V Wade, and you find: religion.
Peel back the layers of abstinence-only, or marriage-centred, or anti-homosexual sex education, and you find religion.
Gay laws, school library book bans, and even the backlash against acknowledging the racist underpinnings of our nation, are motivated by religion.”
“If you start to look, religion is at the center of every battle against scientific and social progress. And when it looses a fight, and progress wins instead, religion then claims it’s not subject to the laws that result. Religious belief is, more and more, both at the state and federal level, a way to sidestep every advance the country makes in terms of civil rights, human rights, and public health. In some places, pharmacists can refuse to fill a prescription based on religious belief. Elected officials can refuse to do their jobs based on religious belief. And businesses can refuse certain customers based on religious belief. Catholic hospitals that receive public funds can refuse to perform sterilization, abortions, even end of life care. Businesses with federal contracts can claim religious belief when fighting claims of discrimination.
You don’t have to hate religion, or feel disdain toward religious people, to think that religious belief should not be shaping public policy. Or to see that the prejudices written into the foundational myths of the world’s three major monotheistic religions are driving much of the discrimination our fellow Americans suffer today.”
“If you pretend to believe, when you really don’t, you allow people to behave as if belief in the supernatural is universal. As if it’s not just the norm, but the only belief that is, or should be, normal. As if God’s will has any place in a discussion of public policy. These beliefs don’t just make it risky to be honest to American voters, they elevate the value of religion and religious belief over public health, scientific inquiry, civil rights, and economic justice. So no, anti-atheist sentiment is not a matter of life or death in America, but homophobia is, sexual violence against women is, forced birth is, climate change is, and global pandemics are. If you need a reason to let people know that you don’t believe moral authority derives from a supreme being, than I offer you no less than making America a safer, smarter, more just, and more compassionate country.”
“If atheist is ever going to stop being a scary word, and if religious is ever going to stop being a sacred word, a word that short circuits moral and scientific progress, atheists have to be willing to say, in casual conversation, that we are atheist. Not just the full-time activists among us, the evolutionary biologist, the celebrity comedians. All of us.”
[Parent:] People use to believe that these gods were in charge of what happened on earth, and these stories helped explain things they didn’t understand. Like winter, or stars, or thunder. See, look: Zeus has a thunderbolt.
[Child:] They don’t believe them anymore?
[Parent:] No, that’s why they call them myths. When people still believe it, they call it religion. Like the stories about God and Moses that we read at Passover. Or the one about Jesus and Christmas. They’re just made up stories, like myths, but people still believe them.
I used to be a fully dedicated evangelical, and vocal about it. Now I’m fully agnostic and *very* vocal about exposing and challenging those beliefs and the harm they cause. Why is it that telling the story to kids of Noah’s Ark is so easily accepted, when it teaches God will destroy you if you don’t follow his rules. Why is it so normalized and acceptable to speak christian jargon? Or have public prayer?
Our society is past the need for those feel-good coping myths. It’s time to move forward, and that work includes stopping the pretends and being vocally agnostic.
Awesome quotes:
“The more secular a society, the better off its citizens. The correlation is clear and strong. The more secular tend to fare better than the more religious on a vast postive measure including homicide and violent crime rates, poverty rates, obesity and diabetes rates, child abuse rates, educational attainment levels, income levels, unemployment rates, rates of sexually transmitted diseases, and teen pregnancies, etc
The correlation between secular and wellbeing holds not only country by country: Sweden vs Pakistan, but also state by state, in the United States. Vermont takes better care of its people than Mississippi does.
But are these facts just accidents of corrolation? Or is the connection causal? Zuckerman argues that greater societal health causes greater secularity. That when people are healthier, wealthier, and more secure, they are less dependent on the consolations of religion, and the promise of a better life after death.”
“Yes, good religion has sometimes led us forward. But in the long run, it could still be holding us back.”
“We can end the epidemic of gun massacres. We have the power to regulate gun ownership, to outlaw the possession of military-style weapons, to buy back AR-15s, to hold gun manufacturers financially and legally liable for the carnage.
Australia stopped it. New Zealand stopped it. Norway stopped it. But we can’t stop it if we believe that a massacre is simply God calling his angels home. If we believe he has a mysterious plan that involves children hiding among their friends’ dead bodies to keep from being shot themselves. We have to believe that what controls the circumstances of one human’s life is humans. Not just individually but in the systems that we create together. Talking as if God were in charge encourages us to act as if he is. As if the differentials between rich schools and poor schools, as if the next school massacre were not, ultimately, our responsibility. But they are. The future of kids is not in God’s hands, it’s in our hands. The next school massacre will not happen on God’s watch, it will happen on ours.”
“Peel back the layers of discrimination against LGBTQ people, and you find: religion. Peel back layers of control over women’s bodies, from dress codes that punish girls for male desire, all the way to the Supreme Court for striking down Roe V Wade, and you find: religion.
Peel back the layers of abstinence-only, or marriage-centred, or anti-homosexual sex education, and you find religion.
Gay laws, school library book bans, and even the backlash against acknowledging the racist underpinnings of our nation, are motivated by religion.”
“If you start to look, religion is at the center of every battle against scientific and social progress. And when it looses a fight, and progress wins instead, religion then claims it’s not subject to the laws that result. Religious belief is, more and more, both at the state and federal level, a way to sidestep every advance the country makes in terms of civil rights, human rights, and public health. In some places, pharmacists can refuse to fill a prescription based on religious belief. Elected officials can refuse to do their jobs based on religious belief. And businesses can refuse certain customers based on religious belief. Catholic hospitals that receive public funds can refuse to perform sterilization, abortions, even end of life care. Businesses with federal contracts can claim religious belief when fighting claims of discrimination.
You don’t have to hate religion, or feel disdain toward religious people, to think that religious belief should not be shaping public policy. Or to see that the prejudices written into the foundational myths of the world’s three major monotheistic religions are driving much of the discrimination our fellow Americans suffer today.”
“If you pretend to believe, when you really don’t, you allow people to behave as if belief in the supernatural is universal. As if it’s not just the norm, but the only belief that is, or should be, normal. As if God’s will has any place in a discussion of public policy. These beliefs don’t just make it risky to be honest to American voters, they elevate the value of religion and religious belief over public health, scientific inquiry, civil rights, and economic justice. So no, anti-atheist sentiment is not a matter of life or death in America, but homophobia is, sexual violence against women is, forced birth is, climate change is, and global pandemics are. If you need a reason to let people know that you don’t believe moral authority derives from a supreme being, than I offer you no less than making America a safer, smarter, more just, and more compassionate country.”
“If atheist is ever going to stop being a scary word, and if religious is ever going to stop being a sacred word, a word that short circuits moral and scientific progress, atheists have to be willing to say, in casual conversation, that we are atheist. Not just the full-time activists among us, the evolutionary biologist, the celebrity comedians. All of us.”
[Parent:] People use to believe that these gods were in charge of what happened on earth, and these stories helped explain things they didn’t understand. Like winter, or stars, or thunder. See, look: Zeus has a thunderbolt.
[Child:] They don’t believe them anymore?
[Parent:] No, that’s why they call them myths. When people still believe it, they call it religion. Like the stories about God and Moses that we read at Passover. Or the one about Jesus and Christmas. They’re just made up stories, like myths, but people still believe them.
July 27, 2024
This is an excellent short book which premise is in the title: stop rolling along with societal religious norms and pretending to believe and just be an out atheist. She argues that if more of us come out and let our non-beliefs be known that atheist would be less of a maligned word in society. (Although I found that "atheist" certainly isn't a negative word in Great Britain). Even today there are a number of US states where non-belief in a god disqualifies a person from holding public office. In the book she even reads some of the statutes and they actually kind of disturbing. These states have amended their constitutions many times over the years but have never removed this belief-in-the-supernatural requirement. It's crazy. And this country appears to be heading down the god road even faster right now.
The author, Kate Cohen, is a Washington Post columnist and as such this is really well written, and I listened to the Audible book which she narrates which is always a plus.
Kate Cohen grew up Jewish but never really believed in a god and and met her husband, who she met in college was also raised Jewish but is a non-believer. For a while she pretended to believe to appease family members and associates but came to the conclusion it was better to be true to herself and openly embrace reality. When raising their children Kate and her husband decided to be truthful with their kids about how the world really worked. This caused some friction between her family and her the older generation of believers as one would expect.
The book is divided in to two parts: The Making of an Atheist, in which Kate describes her upbringing and path to rejecting belief and raising her own kids in the truth; and, What We Lose is What We Gain, in which she describes how she navigates this supernatural-haunted country in terms of religious rites of passage, holidays, and church attendance.
The two main parts are sandwiched between a prologue and an epilogue. In the prologue she recounts the story of Rebecca Vizmun, who in in 2013 was interviewed on CNN after a tornado destroyed her home and killed 24 people in her town. Vizmun was asked by Wolf Blitzer if she was thanking the Lord for saving her daughter and husband and she responded by saying "I'm actually an atheist". Post-disaster piety thrown in the mud where it belongs. The epilogue includes a delightful story of her young daughter setting an adult straight about Santa Claus in a post-Christmas conversation and puts an exclamation point on her message to get out there be honest - "everyone who conceals the truth makes it harder for other people to be honest".
In the section Why I Don't Call Myself an Agnostic she explains that she is sure god does not exist and offers her four key points for non-belief:
1. The Greek myths are obviously stories, the Norse myths are obviously stories, L Ron Hubbard and Joseph Smith obviously just made that shit up. Extrapolate!
2. Life is confusing and death is scary, naturally humans want to believe that someone capable is in charge of everything and we that somehow continue to live after we die, but wanting doesn't make it so.
3. The holy books that underpin some of the biggest theist religions are riddled with "facts" now disproved by science and "morality" now disavowed by modern adherence. Extrapolate!
4. The existence of child rape and other unfathomable cruelties.
She goes on to say, "If you are not using the term 'god' to mean a deity with the capacity to design, to choose, to create a being actively engaged in human affairs and instead are using it describing nature itself then you're falling in to the trap that Daniel Dennett calls "belief in belief in god."" I think a lot of people think this way. It's obvious there is no one up in the clouds pulling puppet strings or watching over us. We are on our own and need to face up to that, but until society comes to its senses, us atheists will continue be the oddballs.
I loved this. I've read a lot of similar types of coming out books so some of it felt repetitive but I appreciate how well written this one was and the confident, unabrasive tone. 4.5 stars.
The author, Kate Cohen, is a Washington Post columnist and as such this is really well written, and I listened to the Audible book which she narrates which is always a plus.
Kate Cohen grew up Jewish but never really believed in a god and and met her husband, who she met in college was also raised Jewish but is a non-believer. For a while she pretended to believe to appease family members and associates but came to the conclusion it was better to be true to herself and openly embrace reality. When raising their children Kate and her husband decided to be truthful with their kids about how the world really worked. This caused some friction between her family and her the older generation of believers as one would expect.
The book is divided in to two parts: The Making of an Atheist, in which Kate describes her upbringing and path to rejecting belief and raising her own kids in the truth; and, What We Lose is What We Gain, in which she describes how she navigates this supernatural-haunted country in terms of religious rites of passage, holidays, and church attendance.
The two main parts are sandwiched between a prologue and an epilogue. In the prologue she recounts the story of Rebecca Vizmun, who in in 2013 was interviewed on CNN after a tornado destroyed her home and killed 24 people in her town. Vizmun was asked by Wolf Blitzer if she was thanking the Lord for saving her daughter and husband and she responded by saying "I'm actually an atheist". Post-disaster piety thrown in the mud where it belongs. The epilogue includes a delightful story of her young daughter setting an adult straight about Santa Claus in a post-Christmas conversation and puts an exclamation point on her message to get out there be honest - "everyone who conceals the truth makes it harder for other people to be honest".
In the section Why I Don't Call Myself an Agnostic she explains that she is sure god does not exist and offers her four key points for non-belief:
1. The Greek myths are obviously stories, the Norse myths are obviously stories, L Ron Hubbard and Joseph Smith obviously just made that shit up. Extrapolate!
2. Life is confusing and death is scary, naturally humans want to believe that someone capable is in charge of everything and we that somehow continue to live after we die, but wanting doesn't make it so.
3. The holy books that underpin some of the biggest theist religions are riddled with "facts" now disproved by science and "morality" now disavowed by modern adherence. Extrapolate!
4. The existence of child rape and other unfathomable cruelties.
She goes on to say, "If you are not using the term 'god' to mean a deity with the capacity to design, to choose, to create a being actively engaged in human affairs and instead are using it describing nature itself then you're falling in to the trap that Daniel Dennett calls "belief in belief in god."" I think a lot of people think this way. It's obvious there is no one up in the clouds pulling puppet strings or watching over us. We are on our own and need to face up to that, but until society comes to its senses, us atheists will continue be the oddballs.
I loved this. I've read a lot of similar types of coming out books so some of it felt repetitive but I appreciate how well written this one was and the confident, unabrasive tone. 4.5 stars.
May 24, 2024
The most prevalent default for instructing children on reality is backwards and ironic. The writers of the Bible, and the Quran were even bereft of the perceptions of the telescope. We live in the age of the Hubble and JWST, Fermilab and the LHC, on the cusp of quantum computing. These ancient fables couldn’t have anticipated questions of exoplanets and the possibility of countless habitats of life, not all ‘in our image’, the discovery that millions of humans carry genes from extinct huminim subspecies, Neanderthal and Denisovan, and how that disrupts the simplicity inherent ‘in his image’, These ancient writers weren’t asking about a fifth force of nature, dark matter, or quantum computing.
But the default for children continues to be based on a compensation for original sin, abusing their minds with a default of inner disability and substituting reliance on an invisible power without. It reminds me of the prevalence of the chicken pox virus, causing lifelong vulnerability to shingles.
Kate Cohen’s “We of Little Faith, Why I Stopped Pretending to Believe ( And Maybe You Should Too ) is a precisely argued treatise, addressed to atheists and anyone else, who believes the default understanding of correct interior reality is horribly convoluted, in a world of rapidly advancing science but rapidly receding ability to distinguish between truth and inhumanity masquerading as righteousness.
The potency of religion lies in the suggestion that suspending the game of pretend will result in dire consequences. Its adherents are trained from their toddling consciousness to mistrust their own voice and cultivate deafness to any intimacy with self. Ergo, it isn’t incomprehensible that evangelism is driving a fact-free rush to autocracy. Far scarier for religionists to rely upon the open source code of democracy and freedom of and from religion than to surrender to an imagined master of the deal as their benefactor on earth.
Kate Cohen walks us with her in her patiently shared storytelling of her own navigation into a nuanced, informed and brave embrace of atheism. She offers steady and well-organized teaching of her own derived lessons from experience, scholarship and observation.
Her book is a useful textbook, roadmap and memoir which will undoubtedly endure as an indispensable guide for everyone who believes that honesty inside is a prerequisite instrument for living a life wisely and successfully even when aggrieved resentment and debilitating alienation are the coins of the current realm.
I’ve read it once and it will profit me over several more readings. It is full on every page of wisdom, eloquence, grace and energy. This book is one of those ‘once in a lifetime’ opportunities to be instructed by a master. I treasure it.
But the default for children continues to be based on a compensation for original sin, abusing their minds with a default of inner disability and substituting reliance on an invisible power without. It reminds me of the prevalence of the chicken pox virus, causing lifelong vulnerability to shingles.
Kate Cohen’s “We of Little Faith, Why I Stopped Pretending to Believe ( And Maybe You Should Too ) is a precisely argued treatise, addressed to atheists and anyone else, who believes the default understanding of correct interior reality is horribly convoluted, in a world of rapidly advancing science but rapidly receding ability to distinguish between truth and inhumanity masquerading as righteousness.
The potency of religion lies in the suggestion that suspending the game of pretend will result in dire consequences. Its adherents are trained from their toddling consciousness to mistrust their own voice and cultivate deafness to any intimacy with self. Ergo, it isn’t incomprehensible that evangelism is driving a fact-free rush to autocracy. Far scarier for religionists to rely upon the open source code of democracy and freedom of and from religion than to surrender to an imagined master of the deal as their benefactor on earth.
Kate Cohen walks us with her in her patiently shared storytelling of her own navigation into a nuanced, informed and brave embrace of atheism. She offers steady and well-organized teaching of her own derived lessons from experience, scholarship and observation.
Her book is a useful textbook, roadmap and memoir which will undoubtedly endure as an indispensable guide for everyone who believes that honesty inside is a prerequisite instrument for living a life wisely and successfully even when aggrieved resentment and debilitating alienation are the coins of the current realm.
I’ve read it once and it will profit me over several more readings. It is full on every page of wisdom, eloquence, grace and energy. This book is one of those ‘once in a lifetime’ opportunities to be instructed by a master. I treasure it.
February 3, 2024
4.5 stars
I appreciated the author's background because I would have expected this to have been from a Christian background and was pleasantly surprised to read a different religious background for the basis of the book.
I've been teetering with agnostic for long enough that in recent years I realized I was probably atheist but never wanted to admit it. So with the nudge Cohen gives at the end of the books, I'll come out to everyone on Goodreads: I'm an atheist! Alright, yeah, I've gotta do that in real life, too.
A very approachable read and for anyone who hasn't been comfortable outing themselves or accepting it, this might do the trick.
I appreciated the author's background because I would have expected this to have been from a Christian background and was pleasantly surprised to read a different religious background for the basis of the book.
I've been teetering with agnostic for long enough that in recent years I realized I was probably atheist but never wanted to admit it. So with the nudge Cohen gives at the end of the books, I'll come out to everyone on Goodreads: I'm an atheist! Alright, yeah, I've gotta do that in real life, too.
A very approachable read and for anyone who hasn't been comfortable outing themselves or accepting it, this might do the trick.
November 2, 2023
Excellent book with thought provoking insights on why it is important to normalize atheism. I love her WaPo opinion columns and this book provides some of the same well researched information that she has presented in her columns. I recommend it for anyone who is “out” as an atheist or who is considering ditching their religion. Timely subject considering we have a white Christian nationalist as speaker of the house in the U.S. congress.
January 12, 2024
A thoughtful and intriguing read. Interesting to me is reading about non-Americans. Evidently, being an “out” atheist is nbd in Scandinavian countries, and they don’t credit capital-g God for everything, even finding god talk embarrassing and something to be avoided. The U.S. isn’t as far along—religion and superstition is deeply entrenched and felt here, in some places and communities more than others—but let’s hope we’re on the way there too.
February 10, 2024
Sometimes you just want to read a book that speaks to you - and this one fit the bill. It wasn’t transformative to my beliefs because I’m very comfortable with my atheism, but it is nice to know I’m not alone.
May 24, 2024
loved this book. Kate’s writing was both incisively honest and funny. She successfully persuaded me to drop the respectability politics charade of agnosticism and call myself the more accurate term — the dreaded A-word
November 17, 2023
There was little heft to this story. The world is changing and the depth of religious beliefs are too. The background no longer defaults to the world of a supernatural being hearing our thoughts and granting our wishes and giving credence to the lie that everything happens for a reason.
Now days, it’s okay to say “I’m an atheist.” It used to be when I was younger, the dictionary would say an atheist is a person without moral standards. They used to say, it’s impossible to be an atheist, or other such nonsense. The background in the world I grew up with was not able to process a foreground of somebody who question the special pleading required for the generic belief in a mind reading non-material entity that granted wishes, created floods, vicariously died for sins, had three substances in one being, and would send somebody into eternal damnation for the finite choices they made.
I read many religious books such as the scholastics (Aquinas, Scotus, Ockham…), the ancients (Philo of Alexandria, Josephus, Plotinus, Augustine…), and re-read the Bible and the Koran and the Book of Mormon and that’s just from my last two or three years of reading. I read and post my reviews and once somebody was losing faith in his Church and wanted my advice because he must have seen those reviews and thought I was religious. Oi vey, did I feel nervous and awkward since I never want to interfere or direct the matters of conscious of another, since I believe everybody must find their own way and do that which works best for them, though, I did say, beware of ‘special pleading’, make sure that whatever standard you use to reject others you also apply to your own faith.
The world is complex and there is no easy solution for how one reveals their belief system to others. The author advocates more revealing than hiding since she thinks it will improve the world. I don’t think it really matters, special pleading required for their own system of beliefs make the whole edifice seem shaky and the world really is changing before our eyes. I remember a book I read that mentioned in a Pew survey done 20 or so years ago only 3 people out of 3000 said they were atheist. That was then, today people are no longer afraid of the word.
Now days, it’s okay to say “I’m an atheist.” It used to be when I was younger, the dictionary would say an atheist is a person without moral standards. They used to say, it’s impossible to be an atheist, or other such nonsense. The background in the world I grew up with was not able to process a foreground of somebody who question the special pleading required for the generic belief in a mind reading non-material entity that granted wishes, created floods, vicariously died for sins, had three substances in one being, and would send somebody into eternal damnation for the finite choices they made.
I read many religious books such as the scholastics (Aquinas, Scotus, Ockham…), the ancients (Philo of Alexandria, Josephus, Plotinus, Augustine…), and re-read the Bible and the Koran and the Book of Mormon and that’s just from my last two or three years of reading. I read and post my reviews and once somebody was losing faith in his Church and wanted my advice because he must have seen those reviews and thought I was religious. Oi vey, did I feel nervous and awkward since I never want to interfere or direct the matters of conscious of another, since I believe everybody must find their own way and do that which works best for them, though, I did say, beware of ‘special pleading’, make sure that whatever standard you use to reject others you also apply to your own faith.
The world is complex and there is no easy solution for how one reveals their belief system to others. The author advocates more revealing than hiding since she thinks it will improve the world. I don’t think it really matters, special pleading required for their own system of beliefs make the whole edifice seem shaky and the world really is changing before our eyes. I remember a book I read that mentioned in a Pew survey done 20 or so years ago only 3 people out of 3000 said they were atheist. That was then, today people are no longer afraid of the word.
June 29, 2025
This was a bad Audible algorithm choice for me. This must be an American problem because this book didn’t resonate with me.
I thought she made some interesting points about parenting and her parenting style.
I don’t understand why she and most other atheists are not happy with the agnostic label, I mean, isn’t it really too presumptious to think that we definitely know that there is nothing? She then makes a comparison with telling your children monsters, like gods, aren’t real. This doesn’t make sense because you can prove monsters aren’t real (although if they can manage to eventually bring dinosaurs back from extinction haha), but agod could be some sort of force? She mentions this, but discounts the possibility with way too much certainty.
Ok I get it, America has become so polarized that so much in the middle is lost.
Then much of the book was sort of personal memoir and questions about what should she do in certain situations.
I think my problem is that, unlike other people, I have never read whatever this lady writes about in the newspaper, so I also didn’t feel that connection to her thoughts as I don’t know her as a celebrity like her newspaper readers do.
Maybe in a way I am somewhat at fault and there is a misunderstanding, but I understand the people who don’t believe in religious books, I understand people who say they don’t know.
I also understand the people who think there could probably be nothing, but shouldn’t they also be called agnostic?
Since we haven’t solved the riddle, can you really be so certain as to call yourself an atheist?
For me you also are making a lot of assumptions if you say you are an Atheist.
That’s ok with me, but these are assumptions, maybe, me just in my personal capacity, I just can’t bring myself to make with such assuredness that I say nothing exists for sure?
I thought she made some interesting points about parenting and her parenting style.
I don’t understand why she and most other atheists are not happy with the agnostic label, I mean, isn’t it really too presumptious to think that we definitely know that there is nothing? She then makes a comparison with telling your children monsters, like gods, aren’t real. This doesn’t make sense because you can prove monsters aren’t real (although if they can manage to eventually bring dinosaurs back from extinction haha), but agod could be some sort of force? She mentions this, but discounts the possibility with way too much certainty.
Ok I get it, America has become so polarized that so much in the middle is lost.
Then much of the book was sort of personal memoir and questions about what should she do in certain situations.
I think my problem is that, unlike other people, I have never read whatever this lady writes about in the newspaper, so I also didn’t feel that connection to her thoughts as I don’t know her as a celebrity like her newspaper readers do.
Maybe in a way I am somewhat at fault and there is a misunderstanding, but I understand the people who don’t believe in religious books, I understand people who say they don’t know.
I also understand the people who think there could probably be nothing, but shouldn’t they also be called agnostic?
Since we haven’t solved the riddle, can you really be so certain as to call yourself an atheist?
For me you also are making a lot of assumptions if you say you are an Atheist.
That’s ok with me, but these are assumptions, maybe, me just in my personal capacity, I just can’t bring myself to make with such assuredness that I say nothing exists for sure?
November 22, 2025
Did you know that atheists are barred from holding public office in some U.S. states? Or - despite the fact that a third of Americans now identify as religiously unaffiliated “nones” on surveys - that people consistently rank “being an atheist” as the worst possible trait for a politician, lower than being gay, old, adulterous, or completely lacking experience? I didn’t. Yet the stigma attached to unbelief is impossible to miss in America, evidenced by the vast number of skeptics, humanists, freethinkers, and agnostics who remain silent about their spiritual convictions (or lack thereof).
According to Washington Post columnist Kate Cohen, the solution to this problem is a simple one: More atheists must come out to their friends and family. If, like me, you’ve ever seriously weighed the cost of doing so, then you know how scary this prospect can feel. Fortunately, Cohen’s wonderful story of claiming and celebrating her secular life shows us the way.
Three stars feels a bit low for this book, because I really enjoyed reading it. Not only did I appreciate Cohen’s candid, funny, and down-to-earth style, but she got me thinking about the practicalities and possibilities of my own life outside of religion. While I wish her book was a little less disjointed, I’d heartily recommend this book to anyone who is coming to terms with unbelief, navigating relationships with devout family members, or eager to support friends who have abandoned religion. It’s a great starter!
A quote: “It might not be instantaneous. It might be more like sowing than harvesting. But the more atheists reveal the truth about themselves, the more people in our lives can borrow from our strength, voice their own beliefs, be honest with their own loved ones, and be true to themselves. You could hardly give someone something more valuable than that.” Amen and amen.
According to Washington Post columnist Kate Cohen, the solution to this problem is a simple one: More atheists must come out to their friends and family. If, like me, you’ve ever seriously weighed the cost of doing so, then you know how scary this prospect can feel. Fortunately, Cohen’s wonderful story of claiming and celebrating her secular life shows us the way.
Three stars feels a bit low for this book, because I really enjoyed reading it. Not only did I appreciate Cohen’s candid, funny, and down-to-earth style, but she got me thinking about the practicalities and possibilities of my own life outside of religion. While I wish her book was a little less disjointed, I’d heartily recommend this book to anyone who is coming to terms with unbelief, navigating relationships with devout family members, or eager to support friends who have abandoned religion. It’s a great starter!
A quote: “It might not be instantaneous. It might be more like sowing than harvesting. But the more atheists reveal the truth about themselves, the more people in our lives can borrow from our strength, voice their own beliefs, be honest with their own loved ones, and be true to themselves. You could hardly give someone something more valuable than that.” Amen and amen.
March 8, 2025
I first heard about We of Little Faith through a Washington Post review a while ago and was intrigued by the premise. Funnily enough, my reluctance to read the book and then post that I was reading it is proof of the very stigma Cohen explores in the book—the hesitation that surrounds open discussions of atheism.
One of the things I appreciated most about this book was Cohen’s voice. I found her very relatable as she described her personal experiences with parenting, making new friends, developing family traditions, and dealing with extended family. While much of the book is anecdote, the arguments embedded in her stories are accessible and well-reasoned.
One of the most striking moments in the book comes toward the end, when Cohen contrasts two stories: a motivational speaker recounting his miraculous ocean rescue and then a government researcher who spent years developing the technology that made such rescues possible (I don't have a copy of the book at hand to give their names). She presciently points out that a society that attributes these events to divine intervention is less likely to invest in the human efforts—through government action—that actually save lives. Given recent events involving DOGE, her argument feels even more relevant today.
We of Little Faith is book that challenges readers to think critically about the ways faith and secularism shape public life. Highly recommended for those interested in these cultural conversations, whether they identify as atheists or not.
One of the things I appreciated most about this book was Cohen’s voice. I found her very relatable as she described her personal experiences with parenting, making new friends, developing family traditions, and dealing with extended family. While much of the book is anecdote, the arguments embedded in her stories are accessible and well-reasoned.
One of the most striking moments in the book comes toward the end, when Cohen contrasts two stories: a motivational speaker recounting his miraculous ocean rescue and then a government researcher who spent years developing the technology that made such rescues possible (I don't have a copy of the book at hand to give their names). She presciently points out that a society that attributes these events to divine intervention is less likely to invest in the human efforts—through government action—that actually save lives. Given recent events involving DOGE, her argument feels even more relevant today.
We of Little Faith is book that challenges readers to think critically about the ways faith and secularism shape public life. Highly recommended for those interested in these cultural conversations, whether they identify as atheists or not.
August 23, 2024
It's not terrible, it's just not anything particularly new or even interesting. She repeats over and over how having children made her want to tell the truth about her lack of faith. It's fine, but honestly, I think a better marker of a society's progress is not that people can be honest about atheism, but that people can be indifferent about religion in general.
July 30, 2025
This book was great. Each chapter was to the point and well written. As an Atheist who grew up religious, I found it really fascinating, enlightening, inspiring and applicable.
December 12, 2025
Very well done. Was reluctant to read this because I was under the impression it would simply offer banal advice on how to find meaning and transcendence without God and religion. I feel like I’ve been there done that. This book offered more and was much deeper than I expected. I agree with another reader who mentioned that the author having been raised Jewish added a different angle and another layer of complexity to a sometimes stale argument. Highly recommend.
Read
March 19, 2024I LOVED this book. The author calmly and reasonably validates everything my husband and I have chosen to teach our children about navigating the world as good humans.
July 14, 2024
I've never thought of myself as an atheist, because in my mind atheists = judgy jerks who take every opportunity to mock religion and proclaim their correctness. Like vegans, but worse. I don't hide that I was Raised Nothing, but I also tend not to bring it up unless I'm in the company of fellow confirmed heathens. Mostly because I don't want to offend people with my existence.
So, I appreciate this book for letting me know I can be atheist without either judginess or apology. There's no intricate Descartes-style philosophical arguments here, but I think that's kinda the point: If the amazingness of the non-supernatural world is enough for you - cool! You aren't alone.
So, I appreciate this book for letting me know I can be atheist without either judginess or apology. There's no intricate Descartes-style philosophical arguments here, but I think that's kinda the point: If the amazingness of the non-supernatural world is enough for you - cool! You aren't alone.
November 26, 2023
26 November 2023 (which day would have been my mother's 100th birthday):
These are just a few excerpts, copied here primarily for my own benefit, to remind myself of the many reasons I so appreciate Kate Cohen's book, We of Little Faith:
Page XIV: Under the guise of religious liberty, "sincerely held religious belief" is increasingly being used to undermine the progress we have made as a country, from labor protections to health care to human rights. Many churches and synagogues fought emergency public-health regulations during the Covid-19 pandemic, for example, and the sincerely religious (as well as the sincerely opportunistic) argued for vaccine exemptions--no matter that the rules were in place to save lives. ¶Anyone's beliefs can lead to conflict with the law; why does a certain kind of belief give people legal immunity? Because: God. ...the religious right is re-staking its claim that religion should be the moral and legal driver of American life...a claim that is enabled by the well-intentioned religious left and by every single one of us who refuses to express publicly what we really believe: that God is a human invention.
Page 1: "Religion, like a family estate, passes, with its encumbrances, from parents to children. Few men in the world would have a God, had not pains been taken in infancy to give them one." –Paul-Henry Thiry, Baron d'Holbach, Good Sense Without God
Page 19: "The religion of one age is the literary entertainment of the next." –Ralph Waldo Emerson, "Character"
Page 30: "I'm an atheist, and that's it. I believe there's nothing we can know except that we should be kind to each other and do what we can for other people." –Katharine Hepburn
Page 30: ...when I mustered the courage to call myself an atheist, I was often gently invited to recant. "Now are you an atheist or an agnostic?" they might say. (Now are you a lesbian or have you just not met the right boy?) ¶Obviously, they wanted to give me, a person who seems nice, a nicer word.
Page 32: As long as a large number of people literally believe that God is looking down from heaven, judging our actions, preferring that women wear dresses or what have you, it's just misleading to claim that you believe in God metaphorically. Let's call love "love" and not confuse the issue. ¶That's it–why I call myself an atheist. It's not some long footnoted debate or tortured intellectual journey. To me, it's clear there is no God. Or rather, it's clear that God is made up: OF COURSE God exists, as the most powerful, most fascinating, most cited fictional character ever created.
Page 33: As simple as it is (or could be), being an "atheist" certainly feels complicated...it feels like so much work.... ¶...you have to be really, really smart, like PhD-from Oxford smart, since every self-respecting atheist should be able to explain how the universe came to be and to prove that God doesn't exist. That's your job now. It's not enough just to read Richard Dawkins's explanation of why natural selection is the answer to the statistical improbability of the Euplectella skeleton, and thus why irreducible complexity fails as an argument for a Creator; you also have to be able to explain it to others. The Big Bang, too, please–explain that.¶And you certainly can't like Christmas trees or Bing Crosby or find yourself transfixed and tearful standing in front of Michelangelo's Pietà. Atheists are supposed to have no patience or respect for the religious impulse. Don't even think about joining in and enjoying yourself. No more King cake or iftar or matzo ball soup. "God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen" must be hereafter put to rest.
Page 178: The more secular a society, the better off its citizens, as (Phil) Zuckerman spells out elsewhere: "The correlation is clear and strong: the more secular tend to fare better than the more religious on a vast host of measures, including homicide and violent crime rates, poverty rates, obesity and diabetes rates, child abuse rates, educational attainment levels, income levels, unemployment rates, rates of sexually transmitted diseases and teen pregnancy, etc." ¶The correlation between secularity and well-being holds not only country by country (Sweden versus Pakistan), but also state by state in the United States (Vermont takes better care of its people than Mississippi does).
Pages 196-198: The presumption of belief has an effect not just on nonbelievers, but on every aspect of life in America.... ¶...peel back the layers of discrimination against LGBTQ people and you find religion. Peel back layers of control over women's bodies–from dress codes that punish girls for male desire all the way to the Supreme Court striking down Roe v. Wade–and you find religion. "Our creator endowed us with the right to life" was how Governor Greg Abbott of Texas explained his state's extreme restrictions on abortion. Peel back the layers of abstinence-only or marriage-centered or anti-homosexual sex education and you find religion. "Don't Say Gay" laws, school-library book bans, even the backlash against acknowledging the racist underpinnings of our nation are motivated by religion.¶...religion is at the center of every battle against scientific and social progress. And when it loses a fight and progress wins instead, religion then claims it's not subject to the laws that result. "Religious belief" is–more and more, both at the state and federal level–a way to sidestep every advance the country makes in terms of civil rights, human rights, and public health. In some places, pharmacists can refuse to fill prescriptions based on religious belief, elected officials can refuse to do their jobs based on religious belief, and businesses can refuse certain customers based on religious belief. Catholic hospitals that receive public funds can refuse to perform sterilizations, abortions, even end-of-life care. Businesses with federal contracts can claim religious belief when fighting claims of discrimination. Nine out of ten states permit religious exemptions from laws that require children who attend school to be vaccinated. When other public venues had to shut down or curb their occupancy during the pandemic, many places of worship got a pass. Meanwhile, the protections of the Establishment Clause are beginning to weaken: the Supreme Court has ruled that the citizens of Maine have to pay for parochial school and that a high school football coach should be free to lead a prayer on the fifty-yard line. ¶You don't have to hate religion or feel disdain toward religious people to think that religious belief should not be shaping public policy. Or to see that the prejudices written into the foundational myths of the world's three major monotheistic religions are driving much of the discrimination our fellow Americans suffer today.... These belief systems...elevate the value of religion and religious belief over public health, scientific inquiry, civil rights, and economic justice. ¶So, no, anti-atheist sentiment is not a matter of life and death in America. But transphobia is, sexual violence against women is, forced birth is, climate change is, and global pandemics are. If you need a reason to let people know that you don't believe moral authority derives from a Supreme Being, then I offer you no less than making America a safer, smarter, more just, and more compassionate country.
These are just a few excerpts, copied here primarily for my own benefit, to remind myself of the many reasons I so appreciate Kate Cohen's book, We of Little Faith:
Page XIV: Under the guise of religious liberty, "sincerely held religious belief" is increasingly being used to undermine the progress we have made as a country, from labor protections to health care to human rights. Many churches and synagogues fought emergency public-health regulations during the Covid-19 pandemic, for example, and the sincerely religious (as well as the sincerely opportunistic) argued for vaccine exemptions--no matter that the rules were in place to save lives. ¶Anyone's beliefs can lead to conflict with the law; why does a certain kind of belief give people legal immunity? Because: God. ...the religious right is re-staking its claim that religion should be the moral and legal driver of American life...a claim that is enabled by the well-intentioned religious left and by every single one of us who refuses to express publicly what we really believe: that God is a human invention.
Page 1: "Religion, like a family estate, passes, with its encumbrances, from parents to children. Few men in the world would have a God, had not pains been taken in infancy to give them one." –Paul-Henry Thiry, Baron d'Holbach, Good Sense Without God
Page 19: "The religion of one age is the literary entertainment of the next." –Ralph Waldo Emerson, "Character"
Page 30: "I'm an atheist, and that's it. I believe there's nothing we can know except that we should be kind to each other and do what we can for other people." –Katharine Hepburn
Page 30: ...when I mustered the courage to call myself an atheist, I was often gently invited to recant. "Now are you an atheist or an agnostic?" they might say. (Now are you a lesbian or have you just not met the right boy?) ¶Obviously, they wanted to give me, a person who seems nice, a nicer word.
Page 32: As long as a large number of people literally believe that God is looking down from heaven, judging our actions, preferring that women wear dresses or what have you, it's just misleading to claim that you believe in God metaphorically. Let's call love "love" and not confuse the issue. ¶That's it–why I call myself an atheist. It's not some long footnoted debate or tortured intellectual journey. To me, it's clear there is no God. Or rather, it's clear that God is made up: OF COURSE God exists, as the most powerful, most fascinating, most cited fictional character ever created.
Page 33: As simple as it is (or could be), being an "atheist" certainly feels complicated...it feels like so much work.... ¶...you have to be really, really smart, like PhD-from Oxford smart, since every self-respecting atheist should be able to explain how the universe came to be and to prove that God doesn't exist. That's your job now. It's not enough just to read Richard Dawkins's explanation of why natural selection is the answer to the statistical improbability of the Euplectella skeleton, and thus why irreducible complexity fails as an argument for a Creator; you also have to be able to explain it to others. The Big Bang, too, please–explain that.¶And you certainly can't like Christmas trees or Bing Crosby or find yourself transfixed and tearful standing in front of Michelangelo's Pietà. Atheists are supposed to have no patience or respect for the religious impulse. Don't even think about joining in and enjoying yourself. No more King cake or iftar or matzo ball soup. "God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen" must be hereafter put to rest.
Page 178: The more secular a society, the better off its citizens, as (Phil) Zuckerman spells out elsewhere: "The correlation is clear and strong: the more secular tend to fare better than the more religious on a vast host of measures, including homicide and violent crime rates, poverty rates, obesity and diabetes rates, child abuse rates, educational attainment levels, income levels, unemployment rates, rates of sexually transmitted diseases and teen pregnancy, etc." ¶The correlation between secularity and well-being holds not only country by country (Sweden versus Pakistan), but also state by state in the United States (Vermont takes better care of its people than Mississippi does).
Pages 196-198: The presumption of belief has an effect not just on nonbelievers, but on every aspect of life in America.... ¶...peel back the layers of discrimination against LGBTQ people and you find religion. Peel back layers of control over women's bodies–from dress codes that punish girls for male desire all the way to the Supreme Court striking down Roe v. Wade–and you find religion. "Our creator endowed us with the right to life" was how Governor Greg Abbott of Texas explained his state's extreme restrictions on abortion. Peel back the layers of abstinence-only or marriage-centered or anti-homosexual sex education and you find religion. "Don't Say Gay" laws, school-library book bans, even the backlash against acknowledging the racist underpinnings of our nation are motivated by religion.¶...religion is at the center of every battle against scientific and social progress. And when it loses a fight and progress wins instead, religion then claims it's not subject to the laws that result. "Religious belief" is–more and more, both at the state and federal level–a way to sidestep every advance the country makes in terms of civil rights, human rights, and public health. In some places, pharmacists can refuse to fill prescriptions based on religious belief, elected officials can refuse to do their jobs based on religious belief, and businesses can refuse certain customers based on religious belief. Catholic hospitals that receive public funds can refuse to perform sterilizations, abortions, even end-of-life care. Businesses with federal contracts can claim religious belief when fighting claims of discrimination. Nine out of ten states permit religious exemptions from laws that require children who attend school to be vaccinated. When other public venues had to shut down or curb their occupancy during the pandemic, many places of worship got a pass. Meanwhile, the protections of the Establishment Clause are beginning to weaken: the Supreme Court has ruled that the citizens of Maine have to pay for parochial school and that a high school football coach should be free to lead a prayer on the fifty-yard line. ¶You don't have to hate religion or feel disdain toward religious people to think that religious belief should not be shaping public policy. Or to see that the prejudices written into the foundational myths of the world's three major monotheistic religions are driving much of the discrimination our fellow Americans suffer today.... These belief systems...elevate the value of religion and religious belief over public health, scientific inquiry, civil rights, and economic justice. ¶So, no, anti-atheist sentiment is not a matter of life and death in America. But transphobia is, sexual violence against women is, forced birth is, climate change is, and global pandemics are. If you need a reason to let people know that you don't believe moral authority derives from a Supreme Being, then I offer you no less than making America a safer, smarter, more just, and more compassionate country.
October 21, 2023
This is a useful discussion about atheism. And it was useful for me to read about Cohen's struggles to raise her family in that non-believer context. As an atheist, there were some aspects of the book I disagreed with. Her chapter on prayer being the primary example. Other chapters on marking religious holidays and milestones didn't do it for me either. But the last chapter where she made an impassioned plea for atheists to so state was very worthwhile. Her discussion of how religion undermines social justice gains was perfect. Overall her call to eliminate religious influence in public I couldn't agree with more. Recommended.
December 29, 2025
This marks the fifth book on atheism by athiests I have either read of listened to this year. I came into this process with a bias, and I am aware of this fact. The authors have ranged from those that are clearly brilliant but cold (Sam Harris); affable, ruthless, but at least open to possible levels of belief (Hitchens); angry and unbending (Richard Dawkins); downright untruthful and unprepared (Grayson); and now my first female atheist- Cohen.
Cohen is a clear writer who has skill in writing. She is a NYT contributor after all. I found her book a quick listen. She made her points succinctly, but like most books she ran out of gas in the end and could probably have shortened her work. It's the common trap with most non-fiction books.
She was raised Jewish, which ironically is the people group most likely to be the most ardent atheists globally (along with the French, Chinese, and much of Northern Europe- not counting Buddhists around the world which are hard to define on the theistic/atheistic scale.) Considering the calamities that Jewish people have faced over the last 100 years, dare say the last three millennia, atheism's prominence is not a surprising fact.
If I had to summarize her highest ideal in the book, it was honesty. She wanted to be honest with herself, her children and others about her lack of faith. While honesty is commendable, honesty only functions on the grounds of truth. Yes, this reviewer holds that truth is grounded in Christ. In fact, He claimed that He doesn't just teach truth but that He is truth (John 14:6).
However, separating that fact from the discussion for the moment, the clear (very clear) underlining theme is that Cohen defines truth by Cohen herself. And over time, the cracks in her belief that she is only trying to be honest began to show. Honesty would allow her kids to hear all sides on the off chance that Cohen is wrong. As the book progressed, it was clear that Cohen wanted her kids to be influenced by what Cohen believed. Cohen clearly was the center of her world. No modern day person has a cornerstone on truth and most modern day people genuinely believe they do.
A flaw in each of these books is that all the authors hold that they are persecuted as atheists. This theme of persecution runs rampant among all of the authors. Yet, there is also the overt references that belittle both the intelligence and culture of people of faith. Granted, Cohen was less overt than others, and kudos to her for that fact, while Christianity received the largest portion of her contempt, she did include Islam, Hinduism, and a variety of other religions as well. However, her inclusion of other faiths only weakened her arguments further. Not only are 2.2 billion Christians foolish to cling to faith, but so are 1 billion Hindus as well as 1.5 billion Muslims. So, are they persecuted. Maybe, and if Christians are doing the persecution than shame on us. However, these authors might not be persecuted, they might just be disliked. Quite frankly, regardless of faith preference, if I feel like someone is subtly belittling me, I really don't enjoy being around them.
One more kudos to her- she rightly pointed out there are far more atheists than just 5% of the country. Most agnostics as well as secular humanists might not be atheists, but there are so close in believe that they are hard to differentiate.
Finally, the last section of the book covers how an atheist can interact in their own way when it comes to holidays, charity, social events, etc. In the end, I would only encourage to read the last section with an open mind, and see how sad her attempts to replace most modern cultural practices with her way of life. It falls painfully short.
Cohen is a clear writer who has skill in writing. She is a NYT contributor after all. I found her book a quick listen. She made her points succinctly, but like most books she ran out of gas in the end and could probably have shortened her work. It's the common trap with most non-fiction books.
She was raised Jewish, which ironically is the people group most likely to be the most ardent atheists globally (along with the French, Chinese, and much of Northern Europe- not counting Buddhists around the world which are hard to define on the theistic/atheistic scale.) Considering the calamities that Jewish people have faced over the last 100 years, dare say the last three millennia, atheism's prominence is not a surprising fact.
If I had to summarize her highest ideal in the book, it was honesty. She wanted to be honest with herself, her children and others about her lack of faith. While honesty is commendable, honesty only functions on the grounds of truth. Yes, this reviewer holds that truth is grounded in Christ. In fact, He claimed that He doesn't just teach truth but that He is truth (John 14:6).
However, separating that fact from the discussion for the moment, the clear (very clear) underlining theme is that Cohen defines truth by Cohen herself. And over time, the cracks in her belief that she is only trying to be honest began to show. Honesty would allow her kids to hear all sides on the off chance that Cohen is wrong. As the book progressed, it was clear that Cohen wanted her kids to be influenced by what Cohen believed. Cohen clearly was the center of her world. No modern day person has a cornerstone on truth and most modern day people genuinely believe they do.
A flaw in each of these books is that all the authors hold that they are persecuted as atheists. This theme of persecution runs rampant among all of the authors. Yet, there is also the overt references that belittle both the intelligence and culture of people of faith. Granted, Cohen was less overt than others, and kudos to her for that fact, while Christianity received the largest portion of her contempt, she did include Islam, Hinduism, and a variety of other religions as well. However, her inclusion of other faiths only weakened her arguments further. Not only are 2.2 billion Christians foolish to cling to faith, but so are 1 billion Hindus as well as 1.5 billion Muslims. So, are they persecuted. Maybe, and if Christians are doing the persecution than shame on us. However, these authors might not be persecuted, they might just be disliked. Quite frankly, regardless of faith preference, if I feel like someone is subtly belittling me, I really don't enjoy being around them.
One more kudos to her- she rightly pointed out there are far more atheists than just 5% of the country. Most agnostics as well as secular humanists might not be atheists, but there are so close in believe that they are hard to differentiate.
Finally, the last section of the book covers how an atheist can interact in their own way when it comes to holidays, charity, social events, etc. In the end, I would only encourage to read the last section with an open mind, and see how sad her attempts to replace most modern cultural practices with her way of life. It falls painfully short.
November 5, 2023
I remember bits of a conversation with my father, who was a devout Catholic, and with my mother raised all of his five kids in the Catholic religion. I was an adult at the time, living in California, and back in Buffalo for a visit. I’m not sure what led to his question, which was this: “You believe in God, don’t you?”
I didn’t. I’m an atheist. But I didn’t come right out and say it. I could see that not only did he want me to say I believed in God, he needed me to—he was concerned for my well-being and soul. I said something like “I’m not sure” or “I don’t think about it that much.” My answer surprised and distressed him, and it embarrassed me.
And not too long ago I was having a personal conversation with a professional colleague who said at one point while we were talking, “I guess I believe in God. I do.” I said nothing.
Why? Because in this country, where “In God We Trust” is stamped on our money, God is invoked in our Pledge of Allegiance, and Christian Nationalism is on the rise, atheists are looked upon with suspicion, or even as the enemy.
Author Kate Cohen, in her new book We of Little Faith: Why I Stopped Pretending to Believe and Maybe You Should Too, writes that atheists (and vegans, in her example) “are widely disliked cultural minorities. An atheist’s existence says, ‘You have been duped’ . . .”
It’s kind of like saying to a Trump disciple that they’ve been duped. You’re not going to change their mind, and they’re going to be pissed off at you for questioning their “beliefs.”
Cohen’s book is an important one for both believers and nonbelievers. Believers might gain some empathy for atheists, and atheists can hear from a soulmate(!) about a shared experience. The book reads like a meticulously researched and footnoted memoir, blending facts, science, and personal experience into a thoughtful, easy-to-read, and comprehensive narrative.
Cohen isn’t trying to convert people who believe in God; she’s standing up for those of us who don’t and encouraging us to put our non-beliefs on the table. She writes: “I acknowledge the utility of religion, even its virtues, and have no interest in convincing others not to believe.”
Jewish by upbringing, Cohen details the tricky journey of someone who embraces the cultural aspects of Judaism while rejecting the God part of it. She talks about the challenges of raising her own children as an atheist and denying them the comforting fiction of life after death; dealing with religious parents, in-laws, and friends; how morality and knowing right from wrong does not need to have its foundation in God or religion; the role of prayer; how to handle religious-themed holidays; and the ‘coming out’ process for atheists.
She also addresses how to handle the fact that when we die, that’s it. Finis. When you don’t believe in God or in God’s will or God’s purpose or God’s mysterious ways, what are you left with? You’re left with yourself.
Cohen writes:
“It can be difficult to accept that our lives are in our hands or in no one’s—no ultimate authority to thank, beg, or blame. More than difficult: bewildering, upsetting. But accepting that we are responsible for ourselves and one another is perhaps the atheist’s highest calling.”
To be an atheist is to be completely accountable for your life. Maybe more of us should be that way.
I didn’t. I’m an atheist. But I didn’t come right out and say it. I could see that not only did he want me to say I believed in God, he needed me to—he was concerned for my well-being and soul. I said something like “I’m not sure” or “I don’t think about it that much.” My answer surprised and distressed him, and it embarrassed me.
And not too long ago I was having a personal conversation with a professional colleague who said at one point while we were talking, “I guess I believe in God. I do.” I said nothing.
Why? Because in this country, where “In God We Trust” is stamped on our money, God is invoked in our Pledge of Allegiance, and Christian Nationalism is on the rise, atheists are looked upon with suspicion, or even as the enemy.
Author Kate Cohen, in her new book We of Little Faith: Why I Stopped Pretending to Believe and Maybe You Should Too, writes that atheists (and vegans, in her example) “are widely disliked cultural minorities. An atheist’s existence says, ‘You have been duped’ . . .”
It’s kind of like saying to a Trump disciple that they’ve been duped. You’re not going to change their mind, and they’re going to be pissed off at you for questioning their “beliefs.”
Cohen’s book is an important one for both believers and nonbelievers. Believers might gain some empathy for atheists, and atheists can hear from a soulmate(!) about a shared experience. The book reads like a meticulously researched and footnoted memoir, blending facts, science, and personal experience into a thoughtful, easy-to-read, and comprehensive narrative.
Cohen isn’t trying to convert people who believe in God; she’s standing up for those of us who don’t and encouraging us to put our non-beliefs on the table. She writes: “I acknowledge the utility of religion, even its virtues, and have no interest in convincing others not to believe.”
Jewish by upbringing, Cohen details the tricky journey of someone who embraces the cultural aspects of Judaism while rejecting the God part of it. She talks about the challenges of raising her own children as an atheist and denying them the comforting fiction of life after death; dealing with religious parents, in-laws, and friends; how morality and knowing right from wrong does not need to have its foundation in God or religion; the role of prayer; how to handle religious-themed holidays; and the ‘coming out’ process for atheists.
She also addresses how to handle the fact that when we die, that’s it. Finis. When you don’t believe in God or in God’s will or God’s purpose or God’s mysterious ways, what are you left with? You’re left with yourself.
Cohen writes:
“It can be difficult to accept that our lives are in our hands or in no one’s—no ultimate authority to thank, beg, or blame. More than difficult: bewildering, upsetting. But accepting that we are responsible for ourselves and one another is perhaps the atheist’s highest calling.”
To be an atheist is to be completely accountable for your life. Maybe more of us should be that way.
June 27, 2025
4 stars
Let’s get this out of the way — this is not a book written to convert believers into nonbelievers. It's not filled with philosophical arguments or a thorough dismantling of evidence for a divine creator of the universe. Instead, it’s a compassionate and candid exploration for people who've already arrived at non-belief through one avenue or another, but who wrestle with the social and personal costs of saying so out loud.
Kate Cohen writes with a lighthearted, humble tone, steering clear of the smugness that sometimes characterizes atheist literature, especially from those authors who did not grow up with religion. She shares her own story of growing up in a traditional American Jewish family, where faith and ritual are interwoven with identity and humanity. For her (and for many former religious people), the decision to live openly as an atheist comes with deeply felt tensions: wanting to keep peace in the family, wanting to raise children with integrity but outside religious frameworks, and wanting to be honest about who you are without inviting judgment or misunderstanding.
Throughout the book, Cohen offers vivid, relatable examples from her own journey, such as navigating holidays, coming-of-age rituals, conversations about death, while always being clear that she’s not prescribing a single path. Instead, she shares how she and others have managed these moments, leaving space for readers to figure out what feels authentic for them.
What resonated most with me was her central argument: that coming to the table and acknowledging who we are as nonbelievers matters. Keeping atheism a secret (or using softer, less “offensive” terms to hide it such as agnostic, humanists, freethinkers, etc.) only allows dominant religious narratives to retain their default status within societal structures and prolongs the stigma for future generations. Cohen’s message is encouraging and supportive...a gentle push toward honesty, even if readers are not quite ready to take the plunge.
We of Little Faith is a thoughtful, personal, and ultimately hopeful book for anyone quietly carrying their nonbelief and wondering how, or if, to speak it aloud.
5.0 —One of the best I've ever read! It will be burned into my brain. If there were any flaws, I didn't care. I would recommend to everyone.
4.5 —I loved this! It was very memorable. There weren't many flaws. I would recommend to anyone.
▌4.0 —I really liked this. It probably will be memorable. There may have been some minor flaws. I'd recommend to fans of the genre.
3.5 —I mostly liked it. It might be memorable. There were some notable flaws. I'd recommend to fans of the genre.
3.0 —I somewhat liked it. It might be memorable. There were significant flaws. I might recommend to people who like similar books.
2.5 —I was underwhelmed or unimpressed. It wasn't memorable. It had significant flaws. I might recommend to people who like similar books.
2.0 —I was disappointed. It wasn't memorable or it was memorable for the wrong reasons. It had major flaws. I probably wouldn't recommend.
1.5 —I did not like this at all. It was memorable for the wrong reasons. It had so many flaws. I wouldn't recommend to anyone.
1.0 —I hated this. I wish I never wasted my time on it. I would actively dissuade people from reading this.
Let’s get this out of the way — this is not a book written to convert believers into nonbelievers. It's not filled with philosophical arguments or a thorough dismantling of evidence for a divine creator of the universe. Instead, it’s a compassionate and candid exploration for people who've already arrived at non-belief through one avenue or another, but who wrestle with the social and personal costs of saying so out loud.
Kate Cohen writes with a lighthearted, humble tone, steering clear of the smugness that sometimes characterizes atheist literature, especially from those authors who did not grow up with religion. She shares her own story of growing up in a traditional American Jewish family, where faith and ritual are interwoven with identity and humanity. For her (and for many former religious people), the decision to live openly as an atheist comes with deeply felt tensions: wanting to keep peace in the family, wanting to raise children with integrity but outside religious frameworks, and wanting to be honest about who you are without inviting judgment or misunderstanding.
Throughout the book, Cohen offers vivid, relatable examples from her own journey, such as navigating holidays, coming-of-age rituals, conversations about death, while always being clear that she’s not prescribing a single path. Instead, she shares how she and others have managed these moments, leaving space for readers to figure out what feels authentic for them.
What resonated most with me was her central argument: that coming to the table and acknowledging who we are as nonbelievers matters. Keeping atheism a secret (or using softer, less “offensive” terms to hide it such as agnostic, humanists, freethinkers, etc.) only allows dominant religious narratives to retain their default status within societal structures and prolongs the stigma for future generations. Cohen’s message is encouraging and supportive...a gentle push toward honesty, even if readers are not quite ready to take the plunge.
We of Little Faith is a thoughtful, personal, and ultimately hopeful book for anyone quietly carrying their nonbelief and wondering how, or if, to speak it aloud.
5.0 —One of the best I've ever read! It will be burned into my brain. If there were any flaws, I didn't care. I would recommend to everyone.
4.5 —I loved this! It was very memorable. There weren't many flaws. I would recommend to anyone.
▌4.0 —I really liked this. It probably will be memorable. There may have been some minor flaws. I'd recommend to fans of the genre.
3.5 —I mostly liked it. It might be memorable. There were some notable flaws. I'd recommend to fans of the genre.
3.0 —I somewhat liked it. It might be memorable. There were significant flaws. I might recommend to people who like similar books.
2.5 —I was underwhelmed or unimpressed. It wasn't memorable. It had significant flaws. I might recommend to people who like similar books.
2.0 —I was disappointed. It wasn't memorable or it was memorable for the wrong reasons. It had major flaws. I probably wouldn't recommend.
1.5 —I did not like this at all. It was memorable for the wrong reasons. It had so many flaws. I wouldn't recommend to anyone.
1.0 —I hated this. I wish I never wasted my time on it. I would actively dissuade people from reading this.
June 10, 2025
Being an American I've watched my society/culture become more and more conservative in spite of scientific advances making our lives more safe, convenient, social, and healthy. I agree with author Kate Cohen that the main reason for this is that Americans keep silent about how little they actually hold religious/god beliefs and prefer to appear religious for personal, social, and legal reasons. They keep giving credit to an imaginary god for good things that happen to them without showing gratitude to the hard-working, brilliant people or themselves who made them happen.
In 2023's We Of Little Faith: Why I Stopped Pretending to Believe (And Maybe You Should Too!), Cohen tells her story of growing up as a Jew only observing for special occasions and still was doing so until recently. Her husband and her raised children who chose to follow their parents' example and none chose their mitzvah ceremonies.
Cohen explains why she couldn't publicly declare herself an atheist, why atheism is so reviled because of the stereotyping, and why this increasingly harms, even corrupts, our society.
This isn't surprising to me. I have always felt we should be honest with what we believe or don't. I started out that way because I'm pretty good at detecting bullshit and bullshitters. I don't understand people who put up with bullshitters, but this book has really helped me to understand some reasons why they give religion a safe pass.
Besides the fact that atheists don't speak up and make waves like gay people have, plus the added insult of cowardly covering up their non-belief by declaring themselves agnostics, undeclared atheists want to be part of society and to be involved in church activities, their family or charitable services, as well as to celebrate special occasions that feel sacred. Religious places also feel like home to them.
Cohen understands why people of little faith don't announce they are atheists and why public prayer can be comforting, but she points out that private prayer to an imaginary god hasn't ever worked for her. Not for me, either. Atheists can, though, reflect on their actions, behavior, and thoughts and how to be more grateful for the people who make your life better. This is why religious people pray too, but with the pretense of being “holy.”
The only way we will be whole as people and as a society is to be reflective and grateful of our common humanity.
We can change our gun laws instead of sending thoughts and prayers to victims of mass shootings. We can see the worth in people different in how they look, talk, believe, or love if we choose to be whole and not broken.
I've been an atheist for almost two decades and don't keep it secret. I've been my own personal vegan chef for even longer. Cohen explains that both lifestyle choices make most omnivores upset because the choices question the status quo.
We of indeed no faith need to challenge the status quo or we will lose, I daresay, our very humanity.
In 2023's We Of Little Faith: Why I Stopped Pretending to Believe (And Maybe You Should Too!), Cohen tells her story of growing up as a Jew only observing for special occasions and still was doing so until recently. Her husband and her raised children who chose to follow their parents' example and none chose their mitzvah ceremonies.
Cohen explains why she couldn't publicly declare herself an atheist, why atheism is so reviled because of the stereotyping, and why this increasingly harms, even corrupts, our society.
This isn't surprising to me. I have always felt we should be honest with what we believe or don't. I started out that way because I'm pretty good at detecting bullshit and bullshitters. I don't understand people who put up with bullshitters, but this book has really helped me to understand some reasons why they give religion a safe pass.
Besides the fact that atheists don't speak up and make waves like gay people have, plus the added insult of cowardly covering up their non-belief by declaring themselves agnostics, undeclared atheists want to be part of society and to be involved in church activities, their family or charitable services, as well as to celebrate special occasions that feel sacred. Religious places also feel like home to them.
Cohen understands why people of little faith don't announce they are atheists and why public prayer can be comforting, but she points out that private prayer to an imaginary god hasn't ever worked for her. Not for me, either. Atheists can, though, reflect on their actions, behavior, and thoughts and how to be more grateful for the people who make your life better. This is why religious people pray too, but with the pretense of being “holy.”
The only way we will be whole as people and as a society is to be reflective and grateful of our common humanity.
We can change our gun laws instead of sending thoughts and prayers to victims of mass shootings. We can see the worth in people different in how they look, talk, believe, or love if we choose to be whole and not broken.
I've been an atheist for almost two decades and don't keep it secret. I've been my own personal vegan chef for even longer. Cohen explains that both lifestyle choices make most omnivores upset because the choices question the status quo.
We of indeed no faith need to challenge the status quo or we will lose, I daresay, our very humanity.
February 12, 2024
Look. I’m an atheist (I’m even a hyphenated atheist the way Cohen encourages people to be!) I’m a lesbian. These are important parts of my identity, but they are not comparable, and asking me if I’m an atheist or an agnostic is in no way equivalent to asking me if I only think I’m a lesbian because I haven’t met the right man. One is usually a genuine question about my spiritual practices and beliefs (complicated), especially because I study religion. The other is offensive homophobia. To compare these is utter nonsense, especially coming from someone clearly comfortably married to a man.
Now that this is out of the way, this book is deeply self-righteous and incurious. I don’t expect atheists to justify themselves with an encyclopaedic knowledge of religion (because that would be stupid), but I do expect someone writing a book on religion to at least not regurgitate tired myths and obvious inaccuracies. If you talk this much about objectivity, don’t be wrong.
Similarly, the stuff about kids seems to miss that teaching kids to respect other people’s beliefs and not tell them they’re myths to their faces is basically a ‘we live in a society’ thing. It’s a mechanism to try and keep your kid from being a dick on the playground. I was raised areligiously by an atheist and an agnostic, with occasional sporadic Unitarian churchgoing. My parents have no love for organised religion, and my rather complicated relationship with Anglo-Catholicism and my chosen field of history of religion have been the start of many, many arguments with my mom. But they still taught me to respect other people’s beliefs, as well as when to argue back on religious grounds. They did not make ‘haha, my kid knows what REALLY happens when you die, sorry your kid uses religion as a pacifier’ jokes. Because that’s being an asshole.
Cohen says she wants to disrupt stereotypes of atheists as humourless overly intellectual men who are never affected by feelings, but aside from being by a woman from a Jewish background, this book just advances the same tired stereotypes: the incurious, self-righteous atheist who ‘counts religion but a childish toy’ and obsesses over certainty and objectivity. Her world, holding as little space for doubt as the evangelical parenting manuals I hate-read, is not one I want to live in.
Oh, and this is basically a parenting memoir by an excruciatingly boring person. Not everything needs to be a memoir.
Now that this is out of the way, this book is deeply self-righteous and incurious. I don’t expect atheists to justify themselves with an encyclopaedic knowledge of religion (because that would be stupid), but I do expect someone writing a book on religion to at least not regurgitate tired myths and obvious inaccuracies. If you talk this much about objectivity, don’t be wrong.
Similarly, the stuff about kids seems to miss that teaching kids to respect other people’s beliefs and not tell them they’re myths to their faces is basically a ‘we live in a society’ thing. It’s a mechanism to try and keep your kid from being a dick on the playground. I was raised areligiously by an atheist and an agnostic, with occasional sporadic Unitarian churchgoing. My parents have no love for organised religion, and my rather complicated relationship with Anglo-Catholicism and my chosen field of history of religion have been the start of many, many arguments with my mom. But they still taught me to respect other people’s beliefs, as well as when to argue back on religious grounds. They did not make ‘haha, my kid knows what REALLY happens when you die, sorry your kid uses religion as a pacifier’ jokes. Because that’s being an asshole.
Cohen says she wants to disrupt stereotypes of atheists as humourless overly intellectual men who are never affected by feelings, but aside from being by a woman from a Jewish background, this book just advances the same tired stereotypes: the incurious, self-righteous atheist who ‘counts religion but a childish toy’ and obsesses over certainty and objectivity. Her world, holding as little space for doubt as the evangelical parenting manuals I hate-read, is not one I want to live in.
Oh, and this is basically a parenting memoir by an excruciatingly boring person. Not everything needs to be a memoir.
October 16, 2024
Probably 3.5 or so but rounding up. Scratch that. Rounding down.
A fair amount of the book is about parenting children as an unbeliever. I support Cohen's stance, and contra the implication of one one-star reviewer, Cohen is not making her kids into atheist evangelists. At the same time, the idea that Cohen's kids should "put up and shut up" about what they don't believe is a librul misuse of the idea of "tolerance," one of many such ideas, and part of why I'm a leftist.
Parenting in such a way when one of the kids' grandparents, in this case, Cohen's father-in-law, is an ardent believer, is also a challenge, and how Cohen handled that is interesting.
That said, for ex-Christian secularists, seeing this play out in the Jewish world, where many Jews "go along" by celebrating Christmas, is of interest.
That said, as the above shows, the book is less about "why" and more about "how I lived this out." And, on the "why," it's actually pretty thin. It's also thin on the "how" beyond the parenting part. In addition, the discussion of nomenclature, not "atheist" vs "agnostic" as much as "atheist" vs "(secular) humanist" etc is part of what is thin. In addition, though she cites Mark Twain, she never references his observation about how easy it seems to be to imagine all the millennia before our births but how hard it seems to imagine the flowing years after our deaths.
The thoughts on prayer are mushy. As I said about Frankie Schaeffer's book, no, with no god(s), there's no prayer. Whatever you're doing is something else.
The idea of creating atheist rituals? A good one. But after mentioning her family and International Pizza Day, she doesn't talk about this more.
Why not Earth Day, if we can dodge the New Agers? After all, secularists take climate change my link text not only than fundagelical Christians, but more than either the literalists or non-literalists of any world religious tradition.
Finally, it's always easier to "come out" even in a Southern area that's less urban than Albany, New York, when you work for the New York Times and your family has long roots in the area, even if many Christians have privately looked a bit askance at you as being Jewish. Failure to check herself on this was the last thing to bump it down to 3.
A fair amount of the book is about parenting children as an unbeliever. I support Cohen's stance, and contra the implication of one one-star reviewer, Cohen is not making her kids into atheist evangelists. At the same time, the idea that Cohen's kids should "put up and shut up" about what they don't believe is a librul misuse of the idea of "tolerance," one of many such ideas, and part of why I'm a leftist.
Parenting in such a way when one of the kids' grandparents, in this case, Cohen's father-in-law, is an ardent believer, is also a challenge, and how Cohen handled that is interesting.
That said, for ex-Christian secularists, seeing this play out in the Jewish world, where many Jews "go along" by celebrating Christmas, is of interest.
That said, as the above shows, the book is less about "why" and more about "how I lived this out." And, on the "why," it's actually pretty thin. It's also thin on the "how" beyond the parenting part. In addition, the discussion of nomenclature, not "atheist" vs "agnostic" as much as "atheist" vs "(secular) humanist" etc is part of what is thin. In addition, though she cites Mark Twain, she never references his observation about how easy it seems to be to imagine all the millennia before our births but how hard it seems to imagine the flowing years after our deaths.
The thoughts on prayer are mushy. As I said about Frankie Schaeffer's book, no, with no god(s), there's no prayer. Whatever you're doing is something else.
The idea of creating atheist rituals? A good one. But after mentioning her family and International Pizza Day, she doesn't talk about this more.
Why not Earth Day, if we can dodge the New Agers? After all, secularists take climate change my link text not only than fundagelical Christians, but more than either the literalists or non-literalists of any world religious tradition.
Finally, it's always easier to "come out" even in a Southern area that's less urban than Albany, New York, when you work for the New York Times and your family has long roots in the area, even if many Christians have privately looked a bit askance at you as being Jewish. Failure to check herself on this was the last thing to bump it down to 3.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 88 reviews