Member of the Club: Reflections on Life in a Racially Polarized World

by Lawrence Otis Graham

"In Member of the Club. [Graham writes of] heartbreaking ironies and contradictions, indignities and betrayals in the life of an upper-class black man." --Philadelphia Inquirer

Informed and driven by his experience as an upper-middle-class African American man who lives and works in a predominately white environment, provocative author Lawrence Otis Graham offers a unique perspective on the subject of race. An uncompromising work that will challenge the mindset of every reader, Member of the Club is a searching book of essays ranging from examining life as a black Princetonian and corporate lawyer to exploring life as a black busboy at an all white country-club. From New York Magazine cover stories Invisible Man and Harlem on My Mind to such new essays as "I Never Dated a White Girl" and "My Dinner with Mister A Black Man's Undercover Guide to Dining with Dignity at Ten Top New York Restaurants," Graham challenges racial prejudice among white Americans while demanding greater accountability and self-determination from his peers in black America.

"Lawrence Graham surely knows about the pressures of being beholden to two very different groups." --Los Angeles Times

Lawrence Otis Graham is a popular commentator on race and ethnicity. The author of ten other books, his work has appeared in New York magazine, the New York Times and The Best American Essays.

Genres: Race, Nonfiction, Memoir, Biography, History, African American Literature, African American

322 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 1995

About the author

Lawrence Otis Graham was an American attorney, political analyst, cultural influencer and celebrated New York Times best-selling author.

Reviews

[Monica · Rating 4 out of 5]

One of the best analysis' of Racism that I have ever read. Graham uses his personal experiences to underscore the Racism's connection to institution. Not only did this book validate my own personal experiences, it is also made me laugh and cry simultaneously.

[Jessica · Rating 3 out of 5]

I picked up this book after hearing a story about the author on This American Life. Graham, a black East Coast lawyer, found that he could not gain membership in any of the country clubs where his white colleagues made contacts and closed deals. He decided to get an inside look the only way he could -- by getting hired as a busboy. Between his interactions with the other staff members and the conversations he overhears between the club's patrons, it's clear that racism is alive and well in an almost astonishingly overt way.

As a reader, I found the rest of the essays hit or miss. Part of this was due to the fact that Graham's audience shifts starkly from piece to piece, addressing white people sometimes (to explain something about black people) and other black people at other times (to criticize some trend he sees within the black community). There was also the fact that this book was published almost twenty years ago, so the constant slew of current events references was difficult to follow for someone who was barely in middle school at the time. Much of Graham's remarks were about "the current state of things" in one area or another, and it was hard to know which problems have persisted and which have changed in the past two decades -- in particular, Graham's comments on black leadership left me with the impression that he never considered we might have a black president within 15 years.

That said, there were a few different essays that particularly struck me as providing a new and valuable perspective I had not considered enough, that of the well-to-do black professional who moves in primarily white circles. Most memorable were a series of restaurant reviews that Graham provided of some of the top restaurants in New York City -- restaurants which his white colleagues and friends had recommended but which, by and large, proved to provide an uncomfortable experience for a black man, including being stared at, regularly mistaken for a staff member, blatantly lied to, and ignored by employees.

Having recently read "Why Are All The Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria?" and My Beloved World, I thought that Graham's apparent disdain for any kind of self-selected racial segregation, and desire for an aggressive push for integration from on high in all settings, illustrated the extent to which his perspective was colored by his own particular upbringing in predominantly white settings. Nonetheless, in the areas where he was sharing his own unique experiences and not attempting to speak on behalf of all black people (something he criticized and yet did frequently himself), I found this book valuable and insightful.

[Devika · Rating 3 out of 5]

12/15/2007: Just finished the first chapter - really great and pretty shocking. I had heard about this book from This American Life.

12/27/2007: A great read. I liked most of the book, with the exception of the interracial dating chapter and the chapter on the NAACP. The former was out of touch and the latter was just boring. But the rest of the book was so interesting, especially his writings on his time at Princeton, the undercover stint at the country club, and the Black professional chapter.

[Tara · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a very interesting book of experiences and essays on what it's like to be black in America. This account is especially interesting because this man comes from a wealthy black family and has a different perspective on the stereo-types given to black men especially. I came away with a much broader view on the race issue.

[Stephanie Becker · Rating 4 out of 5]

While this is an older book now, it still seemed insightful on the dilemmas faced by some Black Americans. It is also eye-opening to learn about some of the overt racism the author encountered in the 80s and 90s. I appreciated the transparency and the reflectiveness of many of the essays.

[Sandy · Rating 3 out of 5]

A bit of a different read. Thought it was a bit heavy handed.

[Edwin Chavez · Rating 3 out of 5]

I personally think the authors valuable insight come from his experience as a middle class professional black man, but the author kind of goes into other areas where I don’t think his insight is needed. The first chapter is about his experience as an undercover bus boy, and his last is similarly about living undercover in Harlem. The author did not let you forget that this was an experience for him and that he is actually part of a higher class; It seems like he’s fixated on his place in the social hierarchy/class.
Regardless, his experience in the professional-middle class is undeniable valuable, and he should put more emphasis on those experiences and implications.

[Tracey · Rating 4 out of 5]

The book definitely had some very interesting chapters; however, there were two chapters (one midway and the other which was the last chapter) which seemed boring, overdone and dragged on. While I don't think this book was as good as his first book "Our Kind of People," it's defintely worth reading. He brought out some good points about affirmative action and systemic racism which I did not agree with until I read this book. I enjoy Lawrence's writing style as it is informative and highly entertaining.

[Beverly]

Insightful read, reflecting on Race in America challenging what we think we know.

[Margaret · Rating 4 out of 5]

Insights from an elite black man. Loved it.

[Dean · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another perspective on a white world.

[Incognito · Rating 4 out of 5]

I only heard of Mr. Graham and his work after reading about his recent, and far too early, death. Member of the Club is a fascinating and insightful collection, as well as a snapshot of an era. "The more things change, the more they stay the same" applies here, and in some of the worst possible ways, but Graham's analysis sheds a lot of useful light, even 26 years later.

[CC · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was required to read this book as an undergrad. As it turned out, I was the only person in my class to actually read it. My classmates really missed out!

This book sparked my interest in sociology so greatly that I went on to study the subject for years...and still am. It challenged me to see the world around me differently and to consider WHY I might be treated the way that I am and why OTHERS might be treated the way they are treated. It challenged me to pay attention to my surroundings and my own reactions to specific situations. I cannot tell you how many times I have looked around a restaurant to see who is seated where. (read book to understand this)

I really appreciate any book that can impact my life and stay with me for years to come and "Member of the Club" has done a fine job impacting me.

[Sophie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I originally began reading this book because one of the essays was discussed on This American Life. While the first essay- the same one read on the radio- was really good and thought-provoking, I began to feel as if the book was no longer necessarily reflective of our society. At least, I really hope it isn't. And when he began discussing the pros and cons of interracial marriage, and coming down kind of hard on interracial marriage, I began to seriously disagree with what he was saying. I don't know. It's hard because I am not black and haven't had to deal with all of that. But I'd like to think the world is a better place than he makes it out to be. Particularly because the book was published over ten years ago. Call me naive.

[Phillip · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a great, though dated (early 90s), book that offers needed perspective on this issue of race. Graham tackles AffirmativeAction, mixed race relationships, upper middle class life, and other issues, mixing the black and white experience. The only quibble I have, other than the age of the book (I think there needs to be a 2nd Edition post-Obama), is that the author describes himself as middle class when he is obviously rich/very upper middle class. But I wish a lot of people would read this so we could have a REAL discussion on race.

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautifully written, painfully honest and definitely likely to make some readers uncomfortable, this is a compelling collection of essays about race in America. True, it was published in 1995, but I keep my eyes and ears open and don't think we've come nearly as far as one would hope; the book is certainly not a testament to some bygone era, much as I would like that to be the case. Whether you agree with the author's opinions or not, his descriptions of his experiences are sincere and important to consider.

[Karrin · Rating 3 out of 5]

I grabbed this after the This American Life piece on the author's undercover country club escapade. The rest of his essays are thought-provoking, offering a viewpoint not often encountered, or at least publicized frequently.

[Susan Rothenberg · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very interesting essays about the issues dealt with on a daily basis by upper-middle class African American people relating to white America, as well as some issues dealing with less educated black Americans.

[Alicia]

Listened to him on This American Life and his story seems fascinating

[Carol · Rating 4 out of 5]

heard him on npr--powerful piece on unseen racism of the upper classes. Hard hitting, but hard to take his privilege at times.

[Dynette M. · Rating 5 out of 5]

excellent