The New New Rules: A Funny Look at How Everybody but Me Has Their Head Up Their Ass

by Bill Maher

Unabridged, 7 CDs, 8 hours

Read by the author

From bestselling author and host of HBO's Real Time, Bill Maher's new book of political riffs serves up a savagely funny set of rules for preserving sanity in an insane world.

Genres: Humor, Nonfiction, Politics, Comedy, Audiobook, Satire, Essays

5 pages, Audio CD

First published January 1, 2011

About the author

William Maher, Jr., is an American comedian, actor, writer, and producer. He hosted the late-night television talk show Politically Incorrect on Comedy Central and ABC, and is currently the host of Real Time with Bill Maher on HBO. On June 1, 2006, he also began hosting an Internet-exclusive talk show on Amazon.com entitled Amazon Fishbowl.

Maher is known for his political satire and sociopolitical commentary. His commentaries target a wide swath of topics, from the right-wing to the left-wing, bureaucracies of many kinds, religion, political correctness, Hollywood, the mass media, and persons in positions of high political and social power, among many others. He supports the legalization of cannabis and gay marriage and serves on the board of PETA. Maher is number 38 on Comedy Central's 100 greatest stand-ups of all time.

Reviews

[Donald Powell · Rating 3 out of 5]

I got this book in a discount bin. It is dated but does contain some Donald Trump jokes. He is a clever comedian but usually too crass and condemning for my tastes. All good commedians find absurdities, inconsistencies and ironies. He is a master at that, particularly with uninformed, uneducated and unthinking people. A fun little read with an occasional twinge.

[Amanda · Rating 3 out of 5]

A collection of "New Rules" (brief and sarcastic commentaries on the idiocy of pop culture and the oxygen thieves who drive it) and essays from his closing segment on HBO's Real Time with Bill Maher, The New New Rules has some obscenely hysterical and politically incorrect moments, as well as enough Sarah Palin slams to keep me smiling for a week. I give Maher credit for doing exactly what a lot of politicians should be doing right now: sticking to his convictions and calling things as he sees them with no allegiances to anything other than what he sees as the truth. He mocks Republican stupidity and Democratic impotency and takes politicians who are in the pocket of corporations to task. Sure, he's kind of an unapologetic asshole while doing it, but at least he's intelligent, funny, and (more often than not) right.

So why didn't I give the book higher than a 3 star? I love Bill Maher's Real Time and faithfully tune in each week. I realized after the fact that I probably would have enjoyed the book more if I had purchased the audiobook version. His delivery adds to the sly sarcasm as Maher knows how to bring the snark. Fortunately, I've seen enough of the show that I could "hear" Maher reading this as I read along. And that brings me to the other problem. I'm such a devotee of the show that I had actually seen a lot of this material before, and the pre-2011 stuff seemed pretty stale in terms of relevancy. It's also not the kind of book to read in one sitting (although it would be very easy to do). I had to dip in and out of it while reading other books, but found that it made for a nice "palate cleanser" between book selections. This is well worth a read for those who enjoy this brand of offensive humor, don't watch the show too often, or are diehard Maher fans.

Cross posted at This Insignificant Cinder

[Daniel Ray · Rating 3 out of 5]

A book of jokes. A little dated- Sarah Palin era. Written in 2009 or so.

[These Violent Delights (Robin) · Rating 3 out of 5]

I've always been a big fan of Bill Maher's HBO show: Real Time with Bill Maher and so reading this was inevitable for me. This book contains some of Bill's New Rules that didn't make it onto his show and others were some of his favorites. There were some extended New Rules in each section, and those tended to be my favorites.

Even though Bill Maher is a liberal, he isn't above admitting liberal faults. & so even though I don't consider myself a liberal, I understand and for the most part agree with Bill's points. It also helps that he doesn't deliver false news just to appease his viewers, he isn't afraid/ against telling the truth. Getting the truth on media sites/ channels is a very difficult thing now a days because all they care about is their ratings.

Back on to the New Rules in this book and Bill's New Rules in general. Bill's humor can sometimes be hard to swallow for certain groups of people and I can understand that. I understand that each New Rule on his show/in his book start with something that is true but is wrong and he makes a 'New Rule' for them. If that makes any sense.

Anyway, I love Bill because of his straightforwardness and willingness to admit when he was wrong and he expects the same to be returned to him.

[Paul Dinger · Rating 1 out of 5]

I love the show Real Time with Bill Maher. I have watched the show since it started. However, I have found that in the last few years a certian angry cyncism has crept in. This cyncism is best exemplified by the title, "How Everyone but me has their head up their ass". The trap of sarcasm is that while it is funny to poke your noses at everyone, it isn't when you never shine that light on yourself. The first New Rules had a leavening of self awareness to it, this book doesn't. It is simply a tirade of how stupid the world is and how stupid he isn't. It just get old and fast. That and the choppy New Rules while funny onscreen just falls flat on the page, especially when a lot of it does cry out for more commentary. Yet when he does, it becomes more and more hopless meandering of who stupid everyone is. You know Voltaire thought the world was stupid and yet his Candide is one of the most readable books there is. So, New Rule: Those who think they are smarter and better than everyone else should be ready to prove it, to just say it over and over again makes one wonder how much you really believe it.

[Becky · Rating 3 out of 5]

I decided to make mini fruit skewers for the office potluck tomorrow, so, being the multi-tasker that I am, I decided to listen to an audiobook while I shoved sharp sticks through unsuspecting and defenseless fruit pieces. It was kind of an apt activity, listening to this particular audiobook, because there was pretty much nobody that Bill skipped taking a jab at.



Yeah, yeah... It's bedtime. Whatever, Grammar Cat.

Anyway, Bill Maher is a funny, irreverent fucking guy. I don't agree with everything that he says, but I do appreciate the humor, regardless and I enjoyed this book.

That is all.

[Daniel · Rating 1 out of 5]

I thought Bill Maher was funny. I liked POLITICALLY INCORRECT and RELIGULOUS. So I downloaded this audiobook from my library. I listened to about 30 minutes of it and died of boredom.

Bill Maher's circa-2004 jokes (Lindsay Lohan is a drunk coke-head, Britney Spears is a slutty trampy hookery whore, Andy Dick is a disgusting spaz, George W. Bush is a man-child, etc) are just are so predictable and unfunny that you kinda feel sorry for the guy. The rest just come across as an old man shaking his cane and ranting about the kids these days. Texting while driving. BlueToothing while walking. XBOXing while...something, I don't even remember. Yeah, some of the jokes are collected from his REAL TIME monologues over the years so sure, you'd expect a few to be a bit dated. I get that. But most of them are new, meaning his joke about the meat in a Taco Bell burrito is actually the remains of their mascot was written specifically for this book, published in 2011. The chihuahua! Get it? Dog meat in a burrito! hahahahahaha....come on, you guys remember the chihuahua right? From the TV commercials? He'd speak in a Mexican accent and it was cute and sorta racist at the same time? It was only like 14 years ago! Guys? Guys...??? *crickets*.

UUUUUUUUGH. It's like Bill Maher stole the Tonight Show from Conan O'Brien.

[Jenn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very funny. I'm giving it one extra star for my dad, who loved it so much he gave it to me and wanted to discuss it. Highly unusual!

[Carol Storm · Rating 1 out of 5]

Mostly toilet jokes -- like Howard Stern, without the class.

[Traci · Rating 4 out of 5]

You have to say one thing for Bill Maher: the man speaks his mind and makes no apologies for doing so.

If you're not familiar with the sometimes-caustic, liberal host of HBO's Real Time, then you most likely picked up this book by mistake. I used to watch Maher when his show was still on "regular" television, before he spoke up about something, got everyone's panties in a twist, and had to go back to HBO. Yes, that should tell you something right there: he used to be on cable, moved to late-night TV, then went back to cable. Maher's guests were always an interesting bunch. I can remember one show that included Marilyn Manson, Florence Henderson, and two other guests. I don't remember who the other two were, but I do remember that one of them was a religious nut-job, and I say that in the nicest way possible. It was quite a sight to see Manson sitting there calmly trying to debate said nut-job and Mrs. Brady had to be the one to tell this lady to please be quiet and let the young man have a chance to speak. Surreal!

Anyway, Maher covers most of the same ground he did in his previous book and on his show. In fact, he admits in the foreword that the longer, more "philosophical" pieces are basically straight from the show, although not all made it to air. The short musings are funnier, in my humble opinion, and they are definitely short. This is the sort of book that you can pick up and digest little nuggets, akin to the evil McDonald's Chicken Nuggets that Maher likes to make you feel bad about eating.

Prime example (and one near & dear to my heart, as I am now a rebel at the ripe old age of almost 44!)
Tat Patrol: Now that everyone has a tattoo, it will now be considered rebellious to not have a tattoo. Seriously. I think the Jonas Brothers have tattoos now. I'm sure Mitt Romney is all inked up. Betty White has one across her back that says "F**k the Police" - that I know for sure.

Now, as funny as I found a lot of Maher's musings, I have to admit that I was a bit disappointed with him at times, too. He's turned into the "super-left" guy, just as Dennis Miller has turned into the "super-right", and I find that sad. Yes, the Republicans have screwed up things in this country - but so have the Democrats. Yes, there should be higher taxes to help get us out of the national debt, and definitely yes, corporations that manage to pay absolutely no taxes each and every year need to be stopped. But the Democrats went mad with power when they were in the majority, and rather than trying to help the country a little, they "helped" us a lot - and a lot of us really didn't deserve such help. I am all for lending a helping hand, but I grew a bit tired of watching the Democrats give us all handouts. I do agree with Maher when he asks what has happened to us as a country; he feels that we've become too accustomed to sitting around and waiting for the government to "save us". Well, guess what folks? Congress is nothing more right now than a huge daycare full of 2-year-olds that need a nap and refuse to agree on anything. It's going to be up to us, the citizens, to pull ourselves out of this mess - and that won't happen if we're squalling right along with the Big Boys.

All in all, a fun read. But I do wish we'd see a little more "middle" humor from our comedians, because I truly believe that's where most Americans stand - in the middle.

[Velma · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm not sure Maher likes women much, and he's a bit fixated on his junk, but this chinese-food of humor (you know: yummy, but you're hungry again an hour after ingesting) is entertaining as all get-out, and I'd totally be Tweeting these piths if I didn't think I'd receive a cease-and-desist from Maher's stable of attorneys.

Like it's predecessor, The New Rules, this one is structured as a set of Maher's humorous observations about modern life. This smart, acidic, and hilariously off-color collection of pieces is a quick and entertaining read. I particularly enjoyed the longer, more political editorial essays sprinkled throughout. I think Maher writes from an if-I-don't-laugh-I'll-slit-my-wrists perspective, and it really comes out in these scathing indictments. Also: Best. Forward. EVER.

Be careful where you read this book, though: if you don't like laughing aloud in public, or you are in the closet about using your brain, be sure to read it in the safety and comfort of your own home.

And although I think he'd tell me to fuck off for saying so: Maher for President in 2016!

[Matthew · Rating 5 out of 5]

Listened to both of his books while working today. If you like the show, you'll like these. If you can't stand Maher...stay away.

I don't agree with everything he says and I think his smug levels reach dangerous highs, but I'm always for someone who will speak their mind despite the consequences.

I'll always choose the show over the books because I appreciate the mix of guests on his panels, but these were good substitutions.

[Bita · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this guy. He is so funny.

[Tim · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you're a fan of Bill Maher, you'll enjoy new, new rules anecdotes. 9 of 10 stars

[Fishface · Rating 5 out of 5]

This one was so funny that although I borrowed it from the library, I'm going to buy myself a copy. It even made me forget for a couple of hours that someone filed a phony tax return with the IRS this year, using my name. Don't miss this one. It came out a few years ago now, but Maher accurately forecasts all the problems we are having now with the Real Estate Broker In Chief.

[Theresa Dr. Gerstner · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hilarious

[Gingerholli · Rating 4 out of 5]

Listened to this one. The first half made me laugh out loud . 3.5

[Andrew Krafick-Wittman · Rating 4 out of 5]

New Rule: Now that I have to sit and write a book report about Bill Maher's "New, New Rules" I think someone should write the report on why I dropped out of high school

Bill Maher has a funny look at the world around us. Maher is a comedian and hosts a political talk show called "Real Time: Bill Maher" On HBO. He is multi nominated for the Primetime Emmy award and Won the Primetime Emmy award in 2013. Maher is known for his controversial views and not being afraid to bring reality to topics many people "wouldnt talk about at a dinner table". Such topics include, same sex marriage, religion, politics, and social issues.

In 2003 Bill Maher made a movie called "Religilous" showing how ridiculous religion is to him. In the movie he goes around to various places to give a show case of most religions and the tenets. Afterward he debunks them. Bill Maher grew up from a Christian and Jewish family, but disbanded due to his parents not making up their mind. Bill Maher could be considered a face for atheism. He is a devout democrat and donated 1 million dollars to Obama's Campaign in 2012. However, even with Bill Maher's headstrong views and support for the left liberal side of things, he respects and listens to Republicans with an open mind, and opens up his table for discussion. The talks aren't debates, they are talks. And Bill Maher has been known to ridicule the Democrats harshly. So even with Bill Maher being for the Democrats he goes off his own views.

In the book "The New, New Rules" by Bill Maher it gives excerpts of how he feels about such topics. Every line starts out with "New Rule:" and it just sort of goes from there. Its really interesting to step out of your comfort zone and take a look at someone elses view on little topics from people that shop at Whole Foods, to shirtless protestors, to economic downfalls. It may even change your perspective about events that occur in your life every day.

For people that enjoy cutting humor, and controversial theories and topics, this book is for you.

[Angel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Mr. Maher is definitely in top shape with this book. Now, a few out there may say he is too cynical, but let us be honest: the man says what needs to be said regardless of who gets offended. If as a society, we took a lot of his advice, things would probably be a lot better, but that would require people to get off their couches, get the big sticks out of their asses, and actually do something. At the end of the day, much of this is common sense, or it would seem common sense if people still had any common sense left. He does great takes and provides views on just about every topic under the sun without pulling any punches. If you like to think, if you like to have a laugh now and then, and you appreciate people who tell it like it is, this is the book for you. If it offends you, or you think Mr. Maher is just too negative, too cynical, or so on, you are probably one of the ones with their heads up their asses.

Only reason I did not rate it higher was a couple of the longer pieces did seem a bit too long, especially that one on Rick Perry, although, to give the author credit, what he says about Perry is certainly true, and it seems a bit prophetic now that Perry is gone from the GOP primaries. This is a pretty good book to read now during the Elections season.

[Cathy · Rating 4 out of 5]

It case it isn't really obvious, if you don't like politically incorrect humor then you should not read this book. The book is a combination of short "new rules," jokes, some new and some that have appeared on Real Time, and the longer essays (a page and a half or so) that Bill uses to close the show at the end of the New Rules segment each week. I always thought the longer segments were the best part of the show, and seeing them here reinforces that. The short New Rules are sometimes laugh-out-loud funny, often offensive, frequently frivolous, sometimes clever. But the long essays are almost always ironically thoughtful, sarcastically insightful and just smart. He has them in chronological order, so reading the book felt like a little history lesson, a reminder of some of what went on over the past few years. if you're a fan of Bill's or of Real Time then you're sure to like this book. If you like off-color humor, give it a try for the short jokes. And if you like thoughtful political analysis, give it a try for the essays. 

[Dáithí's · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a comic, I used to be able to take or leave Bill Maher. I will say that over time, he has grown on me, especially with his views on political issues. He as an amazing way of making what is absurd and really damn sad about our country something to laugh at. Hell, it is so bad these days, the only thing that we have left that won't get taxed or taken away is to laugh.

This book is great! It is in nicely organized bite size chunks, so it can be easily picked up and read in brief intervals as time allows. Great as a bathroom reader, at the desk for tea breaks, etc. He points out some of the idiocy that we face in government and world leadership and pulls no punches. This is perfect for any news hound or one who keeps up with current events and has a twisted sense of humour.

[Cindy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really underestimated what Bill personally brings to New Rules. Watching him deliver these lines--especially the editorials--on HBO is wayyyyy funnier than reading this book, at least for me.

There was a time when he seemed to get just a little too smug and a little too self-satisfied; it made me wince. And he really does need to retire the lame arts and crafts portion of his show. But I never stopped watching him. When times got very bleak--seriously, Bush twice? Not to mention present circumstances--he provides comfort and commiseration with humor. He'll always be politically incorrect. He is the first to admit he is a comedian first.

Now back to the book: there are gems in here, for sure, but I'm going to check out the audio book. I might have to add s star or two.

[Indika de Silva · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found the following book refreshingly funny. Bill Maher's social observations and humor specially American related commentaries are quite remarkable.

His wit is quite remarkable. The way he makes statements or New Rules at heads of states, politicians, religious figureheads etc is quite fascinating and brave I might add. Had he been my home country; he would have been white vanned a long time ago... (If you know what I mean.)

If you are into social observation, humor, political humor this book is for you. If you are the easily offended type; then don't be such prude. Go on. Pick this book up and test your limits.

Now to find book one as this the 2nd book in an apparent trilogy.

[Sassafrass · Rating 4 out of 5]

*3.5 STARS*

I watch "Real Time", so I thought that this would be a good way to pass a few hours and fulfill a non-fiction requirement I had for a challenge. I listened to this on audio and I think that it made the book for me, because I needed Bill Maher's interpretation of the written words to really make this come alive for me. I don't think it would have been as good without that.

This book was covering from the years of 2005 to about 2012, so the news is "old". But thing that was striking was how we are still fighting over the same crap in 2016. Also, I thought it was interesting how many times Donald Trump was brought up in the "rules". I guess he was on to something...

[Holly · Rating 4 out of 5]

Oh my lord, I laughed out loud so many times while listening to this in the car--probably as many times as when I listened to Denis Leary's "Why We Suck." Bill Maher cracks me up, and I don't care if he's an arrogant asshole. At least he knows he is. And he is really smart about stuff that too many people are really dumb about. That subtitle is hilarious.

[Kelly Johnston · Rating 4 out of 5]

I very much enjoyed this book. On several occasions, it made me laugh out loud. I don't read a lot of comedy, and consider this great literature (duh), but comedy is an important aspect of my mental well-being, and I don't consider it worthwhile, if I don't laugh out loud. So it passes that test with flying colors.

[Missy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I love Bill Maher, but the new new rules weren't new. It was mostly bits from his show over the past few years. If it had been brand new to me, which it will be for many of it's readers, I would've given it 4 stars. As always, the points he made were smart, witty, and saturated w/ that great quality of sarcasm.

[Rebecca · Rating 5 out of 5]

Some of the rules will make you think. Others will make your blood boil. The vast majority of them will make you laugh.

Warning: do not read too many passages at once or you'll risk wetting your pants.

Highly recommended for left leaning liberals.

[Ann A · Rating 4 out of 5]

Yes, Bill is a little crude and pompous (although I forgive his pomposity, because he is first and foremost a comedian - and he's smart). I laughed out loud several times while reading this book AND I agree with just about everything he says.

[Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Bill Mahr is not afraid to say the politically incorrect things we think! Loved the book for it's smartass humor and political/social commentary.