Beach Week

by Susan Coll

Ah, “beach week”: a time-honored tradition in which the D.C. suburbs’ latest herd of high school grads flocks to Chelsea Beach for seven whole days of debauched celebration. In this dark comedy, ten teenage girls plan an unhinged blowout the likes of which their young lives have never seen. They smuggle vodka in water bottles and horde prescription drugs by the dozen. Meanwhile, their misguided, affluent parents are too busy worrying about legal liabilities to fret over some missing pills or random hookups.

For Jordan McMillan and her family, though, this rite of passage threatens to become more than just frivolous fun. The teen’s parents, Leah and Charles, might not let their only child go at all. Their marriage is in shambles, their old house is languishing on the market, and the bills are stacking up. With all that stress, it soon seems they’re behaving as irresponsibly as their daughter and her friends.

With the wit of Nora Ephron and the insight of Tom Perrotta, Susan Coll satirizes a new teenage rite of passage, in the process dismantling the lives of families in transition. Beach Week is a hilarious, well-observed look at the end of childhood and the human need to commemorate it—expensively.

Genres: Fiction, Humor, Adult Fiction, Contemporary

First published May 19, 2010

About the author

Susan Coll is part of the events team at Politics and Prose bookstore, and the president of the PEN/Faulkner Foundation. She is the author of the forthcoming Bookish People (Aug. 2022), as well as The Stager, Beach Week, Acceptance, Rockville Pike, and karlmarx.com. A television adaptation of Acceptance, starring Joan Cusack, aired in 2009.

Reviews

[Kim · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is one of those books that I wish we had 1/2 stars or even negative stars to rate books. In the synopsis,whomever wrote it, said that this book was a wonderful satire and hillarious, even daring to compare it to Nora Ephron, whom I think should sue for libel since this book is neither a good satire nor hillarious, nor anywhere near as funny as her stuff. Again, I wonder what the person was on and why they don't include a sample of it with the book. I do not know anyone who has ever acted like the people in this book and I am glad I never will.

[Christi · Rating 1 out of 5]

I won a copy of this book on Good Reads.

If I hadn't won the book, I probably wouldn't have finished it. I did not enjoy this book at all. The back of the book told me this would be "a hilarious, well-observed look at the end of childhood." I found not a single amusing passage.

The parents are total cartoon characters - hovering mothers, distant fathers, fancy houses and cars. The teens are stereotypical and the plot is non-existent. There was no depth to this story at all. . This easily could have been the script for an episode of one of those teeny-bopper shows on ABC Family. It's just a bland, generic book.

What was the point of Noah? Was he supposed to be what Jordan will be in 10 years since they both have brain injuries? He added nothing to the development of the story except that he owned the house being rented for Beach Week.

The mother was insipid. The father was an after-thought. The daughter could have been more interesting if we actually learned more about her besides the fact that she got a concussion in soccer and wants to take a "gap year" but doesn't know how to ask for one.

The epilogue just was awful. All of a sudden this family decides to spend a week at the beach as a vacation since their daughter is a witness in a half dozen (or more) court cases involving her so-called friends? Sure! Why not!

I was really disappointed in this book.

[Eric Camarillo · Rating 1 out of 5]

I don't know where to start. Seventy-five percent of this novel is exposition where the author tells us what each character is thinking, tells us what they're like, tells us how they're feeling, etc. The characters, as a result of the telling, aren't interesting and are actually quite annoying. Leah's an idiot, Jordan is no better, and Charles doesn't even come across as a real person. The only tolerable character is Noah, who has a brain injury and, therefore, a legitimate reason for the irrational things he does. I skimmed entire chapters, waiting for something, anything, to happen, something besides Leah being worried, or Leah being concerned, or Leah feeling rejected, or Leah feeling misunderstood, or Leah feeling indignant. Just terrible, amateurish writing.

[Chrissy · Rating 1 out of 5]

I grabbed this book last May at the Pen/Faulkner book awards from a pile of books strewn on the table as makeshift centerpieces. (The quiet yet apparently shrewd elderly woman at our table whittled down the pile until this was my only reasonable choice by the end of the evening.) The book jacket sold it as "hysterically funny," "hilarious hypocrisy," and "satire." I was in the mood for all these things. But as soon as I got the chapter about the peeping tom character, it seemed too derivative of "Little Children" by Tom Perrotta, and as a result formulaic. I ended up skimming it liberally.

I think I'm getting way too cynical even for myself. Sorry folks.

[Beth · Rating 2 out of 5]

Although the 2nd half was much funnier than the first half, it still seemed like a story that was drawn out. Some good insights into class struggle, and some funny parenting moments, but not my favorite book I read this summer.

[Mary · Rating 1 out of 5]

Every character was a bad stereotype, parents as ignorant, passive dopes who offer no consequences to their teens, teens who are spoiled brats with no rules, morals, or scruples, and dialog that was forced and fake.

[Lisa · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book sounded like it would be afun beach book! It never went anywhere or really made me want to keep reading. I kept waiting for it to get good'. Never got there

[Jenn]

I read about 75 pages and just could not get into it...luckily it was a library book!

[Amy · Rating 2 out of 5]

It either needed to be a little bit more trashy and sensational or more convincing as "literary" fiction.

[Ruta G · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very silly story of parents overcomplicating their expectations of what their kids will be doing during their end of senior year beach week vacation. Meeting after meeting that never stayed on track, too many affluent lawyers; lots of empty pledges and broken promises made by all.

I tried to just enjoy this as a fluffy beach read, but it left me with several questions. Was Dorie truly Jordan's friend? Why did she even like her? Jordan just seemed to be a buzzkill amongst her friends. I get Jordan's obsession with the older guy who obviously isn't really into her, and at least her infatuation made her seem a little more realistic and not just the girl who had no interest in having a fun summer escape at the beach with her friends.

I also wanted to know more about Noah and his brain injury. I wanted to believe he was just a nice, caring "numbers guy" who wanted to make sense of everything, but I felt a lot of his story was left out. As well as what ended up happening with his relationship with his nice neighbor Jill. They never explained why she stopped being nice to him as she seemed nice to everyone else, including a swarm of partying teenagers showing up en masse right next door to her glamorous, showy and picture perfect home.

I get the mom, Leah's mix of worry while still wanting her daughter to have fun and make memories, it's very relatable. But she seemed very impatient with her husband Charles, who was also hard to figure out. Especially when he seemed to be the only one making valid points during some of the parent meetings, and being one of the only ones not afraid to directly challenge the "famous" naysayer mom, yet he continued to drink beer after beer in a meaningless (and not even fun) game of beer pong.

It was easy to read, and I thought the writing was cute and funny, so all in all, I did enjoy this little escape to the beach, disastrous as it ended up being. And Noah, I absolutely have a favorite flavor of taffy! It's a tie between banana (yes, banana!) and watermelon.

[Deb · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was drawn to this book because of the role Beach Week played in the Kavanaugh hearings recently. The fact that it involves exactly the piece of shoreline that played such a prominent role in the hearings, plus the storyline being so surprisingly similar, makes it all the more intriguing. Add to that the publication date of 2010, and you have a prescient piece of fiction. The competing agendas of parents and kids in this novel adds spice to the plot. The tone of the story is rather like the novels of Alice Hoffman but without the level of whimsy she usually employs. Students just graduated from high school renting houses at the beach with their friends. What could possibly go wrong? And how is a parent to balance wanting one's offspring to have a "normal" teenage social life against the dangers of group dynamics?

[Elizabeth · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book was so annoying to read. There were too many characters, with all the classmates and their parents, plus the other characters in the book. Although flip-flopping stories in each chapter is fine, each story felt aggravating. I felt the author skipped over important pieces, so the reader had no idea how we got to the next point, but spent an excruciating amount of time rambling about minuscule issues. I couldn’t help be feel the author was getting paid per word, so she tried to add in every trivial bit possible. Lastly, besides the animal cruelty in this book, the ending was a huge disappointment. We heard about Charles’ job hanging in the balance the entire book, yet didn’t get a resolution. We heard the idiotic girls and their stupid parents throughout the entire book, but there was no closure to beach week, either. I wasted my time reading this book.

[Sophia Pauwels · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was way too long. I’m wondering what the point of this was. There really was no plot, and the Beach Week thread seemed to be the only thing holding the story together, even though it really wasn’t important. While some of this book was fun, none of the characters were at all fleshed out, and I ended disliking all of them.

[Debra Green · Rating 4 out of 5]

What could be more fun than reading about the struggles of suburban parents with the first world problem of trying to keep their teens safe at ‘beach week’ celebrating graduation. Loved the neuroses, the plethora of lawyers, the angst of the teens’ group and individual dynamics, and the quirkiness of the supporting characters. A fun read.

[Amy · Rating 1 out of 5]

I wish I could have given this book zero stars. I am an avid reader, but I disliked this book so much that it took me nearly a month to read it because I could always find something better to do than to pick it back up. Happily I finished it though and can now find something good to read!

[Joy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very interesting book and glad to be an outsider. I thought one of the story lines was a little unusual and not completely necessary. Overall a good read.

[Becky Moncavage · Rating 5 out of 5]

While I give this book 5 stars, I can’t say it’s the best book I’ve ever read. But it’s a nice vacation read and enjoyable.

[Kristine · Rating 3 out of 5]

Was ok. Would not read again. Story line was hard to follow at times

[Caitlyn · Rating 2 out of 5]

it was so dry and lowkey kinda sucked. no bueno imo

[Morgan Welch · Rating 2 out of 5]

I got to the end of this book and felt like there were so many loose ends and oversimplified end scenes and I just felt like it was a waste of my time! The biggest plus was it was super quick.

[Kelli · Rating 2 out of 5]

I couldn’t wait for this book to be over. Thought it would be fun because it was “local”. My mind kept wandering and half the time I didn’t even know what was going on.

[Jonita · Rating 3 out of 5]

Jordan Adler has had a rough go of things since her family moved to the D.C. suburbs. Not only was she forced to make new friends and new connections in the middle of her formative high school years, but she was injured by a wayward soccer player and had to endure a year of migraines and MRI's. Her parents haven't had the best time of it, either. Charles Adler had moved to D.C. in order to run a project to revitalize the downtown area. The project has encountered opposition, though, and until it is completed he doesn't receive the sizable bonus that he's been promised. The medical bills resulting from Jordan's injury continue to pile up, and Leah Adler, his wife, hasn't been able to find work. Leah, meanwhile, finds that she doesn't quite fit in in her new hometown. The other mothers have made an effort to exclude her, all she and her husband seem to do is fight, and her daughter is growing more distant.

Insert beach week into the mix, and they have a disaster on their hands. Beach week is a right of passage in D.C., where a group of girls go away to the beach on their own to celebrate their impending adulthood. Jordan doesn't really want to go, especially since she's met a handsome college man named Khalid, but her parents are insistent that she attend. The parents of the girls who are going get together to assess what their liability will be if things end up going horribly wrong, but beach week doesn't turn out at all like anyone thought that it would.

"Beach Week" is filled with sharp wit and dry humour, and it addresses something that every parent fears: when their child reaches that terrifying time of being not quite a teenager, but not quite an adult. The funny thing about the book is that I didn't particularly love any of the characters, which is usually a benchmark for me of how much I will enjoy the book, yet I appreciated the story and enjoyed it. The parents of all of the girls were the kind of people that you just love to hate- judgmental and cliquey, yet they were really no better than any other parent around them. Despite the fact that Charles (Jordan's father) was not a character that I particularly loved, I did appreciate the fact that he is portrayed as being flawed and quite human, even though he tries to keep it all together for the sake of his wife and daughter. You get the sense that he is quite overwhelmed by both of them.

"Beach Week" is a must-read for any parent of a teenager. Susan Coll examines the relationship between teenagers and their parents with humour and sensitivity, making this book one not to miss, even if you do want to slap some of the spoiled teenagers and their indulgent parents along the way.

[Mary Kruft · Rating 3 out of 5]

As someone who witnesses "helicopter parenting" regularly and has a child who caused us drama on his "beach week" this book was absolutely hsyterical to read. Also, living near the DC area you can definitely relate to the families/locations in this book.
I wish Leah would lighten up and get a job if they were so broke, I wanted to learn more about the husband & what he was really thinking, but Jordan is a great teenager and the author captured her thoughts wonderfully. I loved her observations on her parents marriage. If only every parent could get inside their "Jordan's" head, life would be so much easier. Noah is a bit creepy but this is a fast summer read, perfect for anyone looking to parent, having already parented, or fascinated by teenage parenting. I loved also that the Adlers weren't wealthy - but were trying to fit into a tony suburb but do their best for their child curing a crazy time. As I will always say, in parenting you question your judgement every step of the way and there's always someone who seems to have a better handle on it. But then you realize everyone is treading gingerly in the difficult journey of teenage parenting.

[Trish · Rating 3 out of 5]

A novel about the affluent suburbs of DC...perspectives switch from mom/dad to senior in high school daughter to strange peeping tom. A little bit Real Housewives reality, a little bit Ferris Bueller, I was engrossed in the family's unwinding lives. At one point towards the middle of the novel I was totally transported into the film "American Beauty" and couldn't get it out of my head. The rest of the novel played out like a movie and I must admit,that the film version seemed a lot better than the actual words. I wanted this book to continue into its dark spiral downwards but the author chose a different direction, leaving me feeling disappointed.

A neat spin on what otherwise looks like a beach read.

[Heather · Rating 2 out of 5]

2 1/2 stars (when will Goodreads ever let 1/2 stars exist?). Definitely a fast summer type of read. Picked it up before My daughter graduated HS this year, thinking it'd be reading about what life is like in the DC area with a graduating senior. sure enough, seems to be. Although, it is a bit of a send-up. No question. Kids behaving badly. Neurotic parents. Parents behaving badly. A few people behaving well. Kind of like it really is. This book isn't for everyone. For those of us with older kids and/or in the DC area, it makes more sense.

[Kelly Austin · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is one of the choices in KDL's Summer Reading Program. I honestly don't know why. The program theme is Novel Destinations, and this is one of the choices from the water's edge category. I have read many wonderful books that are set around the water, and this one is pretty mediocre. (I wish I could be on the committee to help choose the books for this list!)
At any rate, the book was okay. Not the worst I've read, but far from the best.

[Cela Esqueda · Rating 1 out of 5]

I won this book with goodreads and feel for that reason I had to write a review.

It took me so long to finish because the storyline was choppy and at times it tried to include too much in such a short space. there were many parts that had the potential to be better but fell shy from doing so.

It was frustrating at times to read about an interesting development and then switch to another subplot which I had no interest in or only reiterated a point previously established in the story.

[Brianna · Rating 3 out of 5]

I grabbed this off the clearance rack and I can see why it was there. I tried to be open minded but the characters are just so stereotypical it makes it hard to be open minded. There are multiple points of view and at times it's just too confusing.
The characters all seem to have issues that point them in their current directions but there isn't just one ah-ha moment that it all makes sense.
In the end I found myself flipping ahead to get through the book. Sorry...but I tried.

[Mace · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked it, I didn't love it. I was often confused by the character's motivations. It's probably also unfair that I had just read two stellar books, and it's possible that almost anything would have resulted in a mediocre review. On the upside, it was a quick read and it kept my attention.

[Amanda Ishtayeh · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not sure what to say about this book. While I think Mrs. Coll can write and has a great sense of humor. I did not enjoy this book. It seemed predictable and really not much going on but drinking and partying.