Victims of abuse-any abuse-need to know how other people have made it through the recovery process. As a victim of incest herself, Jan Frank understands the myriad emotions that victims struggle with and offers ten proven stops toward recovery in Door of Hope . A powerful story of inspiration and restoration, Door of Hope , is Jan's journey toward wholeness. But it is much more than a story. It is hope for other victims. And in this updated edition, Jan provides a special section featuring answers to questions most often asked by abuse victims and those who love them.
Last year, I read A Door of Hope and related to so much that the author shared. As I survivor of child abuse, sexual assaults, and narcissistic abuse, it was helpful to know that I am not alone. This book builds awareness and it can give other survivors hope. However, we must understand that there is nothing in the Bible that states we must remain in toxic relationships with abusers, nor must we be bullied into forgiving and forgetting the horrifying sinful acts that they had done to us. What I didn't like about some of the chapters within this book was that it was filled with "Christianese" phrases, which can make the survivor feel as if something were wrong with them if they didn't reconcile their relationship with toxic people. At one point, I could NOT continue reading this book because I disagreed with the author's false beliefs. I read at least 95% of the book, which is why I'm giving my honest review. I only gave it 3 stars because as a believer in Christ, I found many statements by the author were NOT biblical. Let's make it crystal clear, true repentance leads to genuine remorse and turning away from sin. The Bible says, without repentance there is NO forgiveness. (Acts 3:19) Our God is a mighty God of light and truth. He does not demand us to forgive those who have not repented, changed, or genuinely stopped abusing people. Never feel guilted or coerced into "forgiving and forgetting" despicable abuse that was done to you. God knows your heart and He understands your pain. If and when you choose to forgive, it's on your terms. Lastly, healing from trauma and abuse comes FIRST. Before forgiveness. Give yourself as much time, nurturing, self-care, and love because you deserve to heal. If you are still working through the broken pieces of your abuse, consider seeking professional help with a TRAUMA-INFORMED therapist who has insight into EMDR, Somatic Therapy, and someone who understands the mind-body connection of trauma. We must feel it to heal it. Also, I found journaling extremely therapeutic in the healing journey as well as understanding cellular memory. Everything we've experienced in life, from birth to the present, is not only stored in our brain, but throughout every cell in our body. It's vital in our healing journey to release the trauma that is stuck in our bodies. Prayer is great, but not the only solution. Dig deeper into healing deep wounds and seek God for discernment.
This book was recommended to me by a friend who suffered sexual abuse as a child from the hands of her father. I found this book very easy to read and helpful in understanding what a victim of incest faces. The author herself being a victim who found freedom in Christ, this book is full of sensitive and godly wisdom.
Excellent and thought provoking reading, very insightful.
The text is very thorough,it provides practical insight into a topic that is not often spoken about. The use of her personal experiences help the reader to understand what is being presented clearly.
I had a mixed reaction to this book. When I first read it I could not believe she had actually forgiven her stepdad for sexually abusing her. I called her a hypocrite because she admitted that after she forgave him that she still refused to allow him to be alone with her children. Later I realized that forgiveness and trust are two different things just as understanding and approval are two different things. I understand a lot of evil things but I do not approve of them at all. Jesus Christ understood why the Samaritan woman was not married to the man she "now" had but they got married after he explained that understanding is not the same as approval. John 4. ... that is what some of you were 1 Corinthians 6:9-11. Some will refuse to repent in their heart. Some will refuse to stop practicing heart sin. Revelation/Apocalypse.
A bit outdated, and a little cheesy at times. But that being said, this book offers some real steps to take in healing from sexual trauma. I don't think I would follow her system exactly...but I learned a good amount from this read.