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The Liturgical Mystery #9
The Countertenor Wore Garlic
(No. 9 in the Liturgical Mystery series) St. Germaine, North Carolina might be the most eccentric little town in the Appalachian Mountains at least that's what Hayden Konig, the Chief of Police thinks.Hayden has been the chief for nineteen years. As a detective, he's first rate. As the organist at St. Barnabas Church, he's one of the best ivory jockeys in the county. He's fabulously rich, has a beautiful wife, a cabin in the woods, a dog, a gun, and a pick-up truck. What more could any red-blooded American male want? That's easy! What he wants is to be a hard-boiled, noir, crime writer. Undeterred by what his audience calls a "conspicuous lack of talent," Hayden Konig has purchased Raymond Chandler's typewriter in a desperate bid to channel some of the master's wordcraft. It doesn't help. Vicar Fearghus McTavish is a Calvinist Anglican priest with strict Scottish Presbyterian leanings not exactly the perfect interim priest for St. Barnabas. So when the church participates in the town Halloween carnival, it's only a matter of time before something goes terribly wrong. Suddenly there's a dead body, and Hayden Konig has his hands full with a Congregational Enlivener, the Zombies of Easter Walk, and a town packed with adolescent vampires. "Hey," says Hayden, "what s the worst that can happen...?" Hayden Konig's 9th mystery -- The Countertenor Wore Garlic It's not what you expect... it's even funnier!
194 pages, Kindle Edition
First published May 11, 2011
14 people are currently reading
109 people want to read
About the author
Mark Schweizer
37 books84 followersIn 1974, Mark Schweizer, a brand-new high-school graduate decided to eschew the family architectural business and become an opera singer. Against all prevailing wisdom and despite jokes from his peers such as "What does the music major say after his first job interview?" (answer: You want fries with that?), he enrolled in the Music School at Stetson University. To his father, the rationale was obvious. No math requirement.
Everything happens for a reason, however, and he now lives and works as a musician, composer, author and publisher in Tryon, North Carolina with his lovely wife, Donis. If anyone finds out what he’s up to, he’ll have to go back to work at Mr. Steak. He actually has a bunch of degrees, including a Doctor of Musical Arts from the University of Arizona. I know! What were they thinking?
In the field of bad writing, Mark had the distinction of receiving a Dishonorable Mention in the 2006 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, an annual contest in which the entrants compete for the dubious honor of having composed the worst opening sentence to an imaginary novel. In 2007, his sentence now found on page 17 of The Mezzo Wore Mink was runner-up in the Detective Category. This, and two other of his entries, were featured in It Was A Dark and Stormy Night: A Collection of the Worst Fiction Ever Written, edited by Scott Rice and published by The Friday Project.
In varying stages of his career, Mark has waited tables, written articles for Collgehumor.com, won opera competitions, sung oratorios, taught in college music departments, raised pot-bellied pigs and hedgehogs, directed church choirs, sung the bass solo to Beethoven’s 9th with the Atlanta Symphony, hosted a classical music radio show, taught in a seminary, sung recitals, started a regional opera company, published choral music, built a log cabin, written opera librettos, directed stage productions, helped his wife to raise their two children and managed to remain married for thirty-two years. He also owns several chainsaws.
“Well,” Donis says, “it’s never boring.
In the fall of 2001, I began what I hoped would be a funny little book about an Episcopal choir director/ detective that had a flair for bad writing. Now, nine years later, that book, The Alto Wore Tweed, has had its ninth printing and the rest of the books (bad writing aside) are winning awards and working hard to catch up. Thanks to you, the Hayden Konig adventures continue to make their way into the hands of mystery lovers and across church choirs, one reader and singer at a time.
Everything happens for a reason, however, and he now lives and works as a musician, composer, author and publisher in Tryon, North Carolina with his lovely wife, Donis. If anyone finds out what he’s up to, he’ll have to go back to work at Mr. Steak. He actually has a bunch of degrees, including a Doctor of Musical Arts from the University of Arizona. I know! What were they thinking?
In the field of bad writing, Mark had the distinction of receiving a Dishonorable Mention in the 2006 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, an annual contest in which the entrants compete for the dubious honor of having composed the worst opening sentence to an imaginary novel. In 2007, his sentence now found on page 17 of The Mezzo Wore Mink was runner-up in the Detective Category. This, and two other of his entries, were featured in It Was A Dark and Stormy Night: A Collection of the Worst Fiction Ever Written, edited by Scott Rice and published by The Friday Project.
In varying stages of his career, Mark has waited tables, written articles for Collgehumor.com, won opera competitions, sung oratorios, taught in college music departments, raised pot-bellied pigs and hedgehogs, directed church choirs, sung the bass solo to Beethoven’s 9th with the Atlanta Symphony, hosted a classical music radio show, taught in a seminary, sung recitals, started a regional opera company, published choral music, built a log cabin, written opera librettos, directed stage productions, helped his wife to raise their two children and managed to remain married for thirty-two years. He also owns several chainsaws.
“Well,” Donis says, “it’s never boring.
In the fall of 2001, I began what I hoped would be a funny little book about an Episcopal choir director/ detective that had a flair for bad writing. Now, nine years later, that book, The Alto Wore Tweed, has had its ninth printing and the rest of the books (bad writing aside) are winning awards and working hard to catch up. Thanks to you, the Hayden Konig adventures continue to make their way into the hands of mystery lovers and across church choirs, one reader and singer at a time.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 36 reviews
August 20, 2020
What a happy surprise to find this book on the library shelves. I was looking for mysteries to read and happened upon this. I didn't know the author from Adam, but found the cover appealing.
There is a murder that happens in the small town of St. Germaine up in the hills of North Carolina. But it seems almost peripheral to the overall arc of the story.
Some stories are plot driven, some character driven, this story was definitely character driven. What made this book a delight to read was the funny dialogue and the relationships between the main characters.
St. Germaine is a small town. So small that the sheriff Hayden Konig is also the local Episcopal church's Organist and Choir director. The Deputy Sheriff and Mayor also seem to have side jobs.
Schweizer intertwines life at church with life at the local cafe with Halloween, Zombie flash dances, Vampires lining up to get their book signed at the local book store and, what was the other thing?....oh yeah...someone gets murdered that night as well. At first it seems like a scarecrow in the corn maze, but nope; it's a body.
Whose body? And who murdered them? And why? All of this Sheriff Konig (who narrates) must find out and in the meantime, suffer through an interim priest who preaches only fire and brimstone, getting the choir ready for All Saints (which is the day after Halloween) and, last but not least, write his own hard boiled mystery a la Raymond Chandler, whose typewriter he procured.
In addition to the humor and lively characters, as a classical musician, I really enjoyed all the music references. So rare and yet so much fun for someone like me.
I am happy to see that there are many more mysteries in the series and found a set of five on eBay which I have snapped up.
There is a murder that happens in the small town of St. Germaine up in the hills of North Carolina. But it seems almost peripheral to the overall arc of the story.
Some stories are plot driven, some character driven, this story was definitely character driven. What made this book a delight to read was the funny dialogue and the relationships between the main characters.
St. Germaine is a small town. So small that the sheriff Hayden Konig is also the local Episcopal church's Organist and Choir director. The Deputy Sheriff and Mayor also seem to have side jobs.
Schweizer intertwines life at church with life at the local cafe with Halloween, Zombie flash dances, Vampires lining up to get their book signed at the local book store and, what was the other thing?....oh yeah...someone gets murdered that night as well. At first it seems like a scarecrow in the corn maze, but nope; it's a body.
Whose body? And who murdered them? And why? All of this Sheriff Konig (who narrates) must find out and in the meantime, suffer through an interim priest who preaches only fire and brimstone, getting the choir ready for All Saints (which is the day after Halloween) and, last but not least, write his own hard boiled mystery a la Raymond Chandler, whose typewriter he procured.
In addition to the humor and lively characters, as a classical musician, I really enjoyed all the music references. So rare and yet so much fun for someone like me.
I am happy to see that there are many more mysteries in the series and found a set of five on eBay which I have snapped up.
April 7, 2017
This is the ninth "liturgical mystery" in Mark Schweizer's series about the good people of Saint Barnabas' Church in Saint Germaine, North Carolina. Told from the perspective of the chief of police, who is also the organist-choir director of the church, at least one person ends up unseasonably dead in each novel, usually in a particular season of the church year. This one centers on Hallowe'en and All Saints' Day. The story features Amish vampires, the Zombies of Easter Walk, murder most foul, a Scottish Calvinist Anglican interim priest, a professional "congregational enlivener" hired to enliven the congregation, and all of the characters who have become dear in the last eight episodes. Another wonderful entry; O Lord, may there be many more.
January 30, 2018
Continuing to love this series. Now on to #10
September 6, 2015
These are quite possibly the silliest and funniest books that I read over and over again. They make me laugh out loud. Anyone who has ever sung in a church choir will recognize the characters in these books.
August 29, 2016
Great Halloween fun! Vampires and Zombies.
November 8, 2024
Hilarious
This is a mystery series of 15 books starting with the Alto Wore Tweed. The main character is Organist and Choir Director and doubles as Police Chief for a small N Carolina town where in each book there's a kookie murder mystery. There are many belly laughs and as you go through the series you gain affection for the regular characters.
This is a mystery series of 15 books starting with the Alto Wore Tweed. The main character is Organist and Choir Director and doubles as Police Chief for a small N Carolina town where in each book there's a kookie murder mystery. There are many belly laughs and as you go through the series you gain affection for the regular characters.
October 21, 2017
St. Germaine, North. Carolina sounds like my kind of town. Hayden is still trying to write the next noir, while keeping the peace and keeping the altos in their places. Too bad his church can't keep a priest.
February 16, 2018
Entertaining and always lots of laughs!
September 22, 2022
3.5 stars
June 2, 2024
Another fun read by Mark Schweizer.
January 26, 2020
Another fun mystery set in the town of St. Germaine. This quirky little town is full of fun characters and places, and the story is interspersed with bits of the really, really bad detective novel being written by Hayden Konig, the police chief, and also choir director and organist of St. Barnabas.
February 13, 2017
You'd think I'd get sick of murder mysteries marketed to a contemporary American female demographic, what with their nice little towns, shared meals, lovers, winsome pets, and children at risk. This one has all that, plus vampires, zombies, Christian nudists, and that coffee made from beans pre-digested by privet cats.
November 26, 2011
Maybe I've read too many of these Liturgical Mysteries in a row. I liked this one, but didn't get the chuckles out of it that other installments have inspired. It was still a nice bedtime read. It's Halloween and a world-famous vampire writer is holding a book signing at the local book store. The little town of St. Germaine is invaded by vampire-wannabes and an opposing horde of zombies. In the midst of the annual festivities, Flori Cabbage is murdered, and her body is left in the middle of St. Barnabas' hay maze. Meanwhile Gaylen has left St. Barnabas and has been replaced by the Scots vicar Feargus MacTavish, a fire-and-brimstone Calvinist who finds the "Congregational Enlivener" to be too much. He also happens to be Hogmany MacTavish's brother. I think that Mark Schweizer lost an opportunity in not focusing this novel on the clash between the St. Barnabas culture and his theology, and Moosey made only a token appearance. I've caught up on the series, so I hope that there will be more eventually.
May 15, 2011
Another installment in the Hayden Konig liturgical series. Hayden is the police chief in St. Germaine, NC as well as the organist at St. Barnabas Church. It is close to Halloween and if it isn’t enough to have tourists in town to gaze at the fall colors, then toss in a book signing for a famous author of a vampire series and you have double trouble. The town is filled with vampires and zombies and in the mix of it all is a body. As in other books in the series, it isn’t so much the crime that takes center stage as the antics of the town’s residents and, more importantly, Hayden’s struggle to be the next Raymond Chandler. The book is peppered with snippets of Hayden’s writing samples which he prints out and stuffs into the choir books for all to see. It is some of the most horrible and hysterical writing that friends, and even his wife, don’t hesitate to tell him. Although each book can be read on its own, I’m a series reader so if you’re like me, start at the beginning.
August 16, 2014
I love these characters. Book #9 of Mark Schweizer's Liturgical Mysteries was like a visit with dear friends. Chief Honig and Meg are a delightful couple. As I read, I visualize St. Barnabas Episcopal church, The Slab, The Ginger Cat, the Beer and Brew, along with all the quirky occupants of St. Germaine and its surrounds. I love Schweizer's writing and humor.
That being emphatically stated, The Countertenor Wore Garlic was not my favorite episode in the series. Maybe it's because I do not love Halloween, which is the setting for this mystery. Yes. That's probably why. The character of the interim Vicar scared me, as did the zombies and vampires. Also, there seemed to be more words and less action. Not to say I won't read the next installment soon, because I will.
That being emphatically stated, The Countertenor Wore Garlic was not my favorite episode in the series. Maybe it's because I do not love Halloween, which is the setting for this mystery. Yes. That's probably why. The character of the interim Vicar scared me, as did the zombies and vampires. Also, there seemed to be more words and less action. Not to say I won't read the next installment soon, because I will.
August 20, 2014
This one was my favorite Liturgical Mystery. I laughed out loud a bunch of times but mostly it had to do with the fact that it parodied and mocked vampire novels. :) I thought the murder was more gruesome than any of the other books, but I think that the hilarious antics more than balanced it out.
Swanella Liberty might have been the funniest part of the whole book. Or the wurst-bassoon/racket, it's a tossup.
I have been reading the Liturgical Mysteries since June and while I loved the Countertenor Wore Garlic, I'm now quite sad that I have to actually wait until Mark Schweizer writes another one before I can get my Hayden Konig fix. :)
Swanella Liberty might have been the funniest part of the whole book. Or the wurst-bassoon/racket, it's a tossup.
I have been reading the Liturgical Mysteries since June and while I loved the Countertenor Wore Garlic, I'm now quite sad that I have to actually wait until Mark Schweizer writes another one before I can get my Hayden Konig fix. :)
July 11, 2011
This is the ninth in a series featuring Hayden Konig, Chief of Police in St. Germaine, North Carolina and choir director/organist at St. Barnabus Episcopal Church. Konig and his staff of two spend most of their time at The Slab, the local eatery, eating platters of country ham, grits and pancakes but there is always a body that shows up to break up the monotony of all that food. To top it all off, Konig thinks that he can channel Raymond Chandler because he owns Chandler's typewriter and fedora. The result is a serial "novel" that gets placed in the music folders of the choir. Lots of really funny stuff here, especially if you enjoy tortured similes and groan-worthy puns.
September 23, 2011
It's a rare find to come across a whole series of books that never fail to please. Mr. Schweizer's series of "liturgical mysteries" are among these rare finds. The only complaint I have about this book is that it's the last one in the series, and I'm not through reading! I need him to write MORE stories from St. Germaine.
Even though Mr. Schweizer is writing with his tongue firmly planted in his cheeck, none of his stories come off as though he were pandering to his readers. We're all in on the joke and we're all nudging each other and laughing at his sly wit.
I can't recommend this series enough. Good clean fun.
Even though Mr. Schweizer is writing with his tongue firmly planted in his cheeck, none of his stories come off as though he were pandering to his readers. We're all in on the joke and we're all nudging each other and laughing at his sly wit.
I can't recommend this series enough. Good clean fun.
May 17, 2011
The tenth in Schweizer's St. Germaine-St.Barnabas canon is darker and creepier (ickier??) than I've come to expect, and there are few really hilarious moments--a Schweizer staple in the past. Even the ongoing joke of the misfit supply priest-of-the-year is subdued this round. Not all is lost: the murder mystery is technically solid, there are some chuckles for readers savvy to Episcopalian folkways, and the musical citations coaxed me to the CD library for re-hearings. I'm looking forward to the next installment (in May 2012??)
March 7, 2016
This series is so humorous, it's a breath of fresh air. Life can be tough enough without some lighthearted leisure reading. These books are murder mysteries with the comedy provided by events at the local Episcopal church taking center stage. The organist has a desire to write mysteries like Raymond Chandler but no talent to really make the grade. The books are fun and easy to read.
May 25, 2013
It's been a few months since I finished reading #8 in this series of humorous, liturgical mysteries. I had forgotten how clever and irreverent the writing is and how brilliant the storyline. Picking up #9 was like joining old friends for a cup of coffee at Nancy's reserved table in the back corner of the Slab Café!
June 8, 2014
As always, I enjoyed this book about a church liturgist/sheriff/bad noir novelist. It wasn't as good as some earlier ones, which is why I only gave it three stars. For once, the actual mystery was better than the noir detective novel parody. My advice is read some of the earlier ones and take the time to read the endorsements.
May 29, 2011
I can't wait til Schweizer puts out a new volume, and then I read it like I have nothing more important to do. I laugh; I laugh; I laugh! I highly recommend this series. Mr. Schweizer, write faster.
July 29, 2016
Just didn't enjoy it like the other one. I read it slowly and kept getting confused about the characters. The references to the Episcopal Church were fun although I've sure never heard a sermon like their visiting priest!
June 3, 2012
Schweizer's series makes for great beach reads. A little liturgy, a little Chandler-esque pot boilng, a little murder ... all set in picturesque St Germaine. What's not to love?
September 13, 2012
Cute, silly, a great bedtime read to let go of the stresses of the day.
September 21, 2012
One of my favorite entries in the series so far.
January 21, 2013
I'm reading this because I badly needed something super light and silly. This author is the best I know for making me laugh.
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March 4, 2013It had me at "Amish Vampires."
July 16, 2017
Ack! Can't believe I almost missed this book! Ran across it while looking for the newest release, and love it. Mark Schweizer's liturgical mysteries are autobuys for hubby and me!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 36 reviews