A Goomba's Guide to Life

by Steven R. Schirripa, Charles Fleming

Attention would-be paesans : Can’t distinguish “gabagool” from “pasta fazool”? Not sure how to properly accessorize your track suit with gold chains? Does the phrase “go to the mattresses” make you sleepy? Now Steven R. Schirripa, The Sopranos’ own Bobby Bacala, exposes the inner mysteries of this unique Italian-American hybrid in A Goomba’s Guide to Life so that anyone can walk, talk, and live like a guy “from the neighborhood.”

Über-goomba Steve Schirripa shows how being a goomba made him what he is today, offering lessons learned on his own journey from Bensonhurst to Vegas, and to his current gig as Bobby Bacala on one of TV’s most popular shows. Along the way, he shares secrets that will help you get in touch with your own inner goomba. You’ll learn what music to enjoy (Sinatra, yes; Snoop Dogg, no), what movies to watch (Raging Bull, yes; Titanic, never), which sports to follow (baseball is good; golf and tennis, fuhgeddaboudit), and even tips on goomba etiquette. Ever wonder how a real goomba gets the best seat in the house? ( It involves tipping, jewelry, and intimidation.) Schirripa even includes goomba do’s and don’ts (never, ever criticize a goomba’s mother or her gravy; always wear more jewelry than you think you need).

With knockout photographs of Schirripa and his compares, and insider information on how to think goomba, speak goomba, cook and eat goomba, and even how to behave at goomba weddings and funerals, A Goomba’s Guide to Life will show any wiseguy wannabe how to sing like a Soprano.

Genres: Humor, Memoir, Nonfiction, Biography Memoir

240 pages, Hardcover

First published October 15, 2002

About the author

Steven Ralph Schirripa is an American actor. He is regularly credited as Steven R. Schirripa, including his total of over 300 total appearances in three long running series, playing: Bobby Bacala on The Sopranos; Leo Boykewich on The Secret Life of the American Teenager; and Detective Anthony Abetemarco on Blue Bloods. Schirripa is host of two Investigation Discovery series: Karma's A B*tch! and Nothing Personal. He is the voice of Roberto in the Open Season film series.

Reviews

[Richard E. Rant · Rating 5 out of 5]

Being a Goomba is not a lifestyle. And yet when my wife divorced me, she called me one.
I did not *choose* to be a Goomba. Though I had to confront that I was one. So I needed a guide. Bobby Bacala himself saved my life. Before reading this, I did not know how to distinguish "gabagool” from “pasta fazool” and this is why my wife left me.

It helped me seek comfort in my inner Goomba. And further connect with my outer Goomba. It helped me ascend mere humanity and Goombadom, and reach Über-goomba hood.

I now life on a plane which no ex-wives could ever think of touching. ex-wives? fuhgeddaboudit? Gold chains, track suits and Frank Sinatra? Real man SH*T

Think you Bacala. I dont care how much you talk over Michael Imperioli on The Sopranos podcast, I now realise you do so because you're king F*cking bad ass GOOMBA

You saved my life. I no longer need ex-wives. I have 12 bad ass Goomahs who worship me, let me drink beer and be badass all I want. All thanks to this book.

[Mark · Rating 2 out of 5]

I've known some real goomba's over the years, and I don't question Schirripa's goomba-ness. In fact, he sounds like guys I've known. And I guess that's what the problem was with the book for me. I've heard all this before.

Now, I'm not a goomba. In my part of the country, a goomba wannabe is called a peckerwood. I hung out with some real goombas that I knew from around the neighborhood and through family friends. At one time I was all 'wood, but now I just have a little semi going.

[Dan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hilarious descriptions of growing up in NJ around all types of characters (some mafia-related), discussion on a type of lifestyle, and some great recipes!

[Gary Brittain · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book, even better recipes in the back of the book.

[Debbie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I just love this book. I have to preface this by saying I grew up Italian and was surrounded by Goombas my entire life. I sang with an Italian band and I even sang to one of the Gambino 'family' members in the 80s when they celebrated him coming out of prison (or going into prison...or just getting made...I was very impressionable!)

Anyway, Steve Schirripa aka Bobby Bacala from the Soprano's writes amazing stories that bring back so many memories of growing up Italian.
I knew Tony the Hammer, Joey the Bookie, Nicky Toothpick, NoChin Carmine...and the list goes on.

The only issue I have with this book is whether to keep it with my memoirs or Cookbooks. I LOVE the recipes for all the Italian favorites!!!

[Chrissy · Rating 2 out of 5]

Found this book in a secondhand shop and I was drawn to the recipes. After starting on the Sopranos show not too long ago, I think this helped me understand some parts of the show.

I like the stories of his adventures from being a kid to heading to Las Vegas and finally as an actor in TV and movies. I have to wonder now that he's got more years of acting under his belt, if this book would have been better for the later part of his life instead because I think he's got more stories to tell.

[Matt · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not quite as funny as it ought to be, considering how annoyed my Italian friends were about it.

[Daniel Nichol · Rating 3 out of 5]

Cute, a quick read

[William Becque · Rating 3 out of 5]

Given that Schirripa smashes the world record for times saying goomba in a 200 page book (which in all honesty is now in the thousands) its an entertaining book. Bobby Bacala isn't a particularly gifted writer, and depends more on spewing out some rather obvious statements mixed in with solid observations.
“You can tell the quality of a restaurant by the items on the menu, too. If they serve a pizza with pineapple and ham on it, get out at once. No goomba would ever, ever eat a pizza with pineapple on it...This is California crap that no self-respecting goomba would touch.”
He's got a part on why they'll never be a goomba president that's really funny, but otherwise it can be difficult to claim this as a humor book. I more so relate to it, but I also relate to Ronny on Jersey Shore, so take it how you may.

[Sam · Rating 5 out of 5]

I always pack this book when I am returning to college in the fall. It's a quick and easy read, but hilarious all the same. When I need a break from studying, I gladly turn to Schirripa's "guide". Anyone who knows anything about wiseguys will get a kick out of it.

[Joy]

As a big fan of The Sopranos, this book should be right up my alley!

[Karen · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the funniest books I've ever read.