Read My Lips: A Complete Guide to the Vagina and Vulva

by Debby Herbenick, Vanessa Schick

Many, if not most, people remain in the dark about the actual workings of the vagina and vulva. The primary purpose of Read My Lips is to educate women and men about the vulva and vagina in a manner that is smart, informative, and entertaining. Readers, both women and men alike, will come to think differently about women's genitals and become a little more curious and a lot more comfortable with them. They will learn more about the female body in terms of health, sex, pleasure, culture, and art. Though based on sound scientific and medical research, Read My Lips will be accessible to the masses, so women and men who are curious about the clitoris, Brazilian waxing, labiaplasty or whether the G-spot really exists, will find something of interest in these pages. Chapters focus on sex and the vulva/vagina which, in spite of the many interesting cultural and historical aspects of vulva and vagina lore, remains of central interest to many people - as it should given that women's genitals and how they work, especially in regard to sex, remain a mystery to so many well-intentioned lovers. In keeping with the overall theme of celebration and education, the authors take a sex-positive, pleasure-focused perspective on women's genitals, pointing out the parts that can help women to enjoy sex and feel more comfortable in their own bodies. Tips on technique will also be shared alongside information on vaginal health.

Genres: Nonfiction, Feminism, Sexuality, Health, Gender

292 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2011

About the author

Debby Herbenick is a professor at the Indiana University School of Public Health, an award-winning scientist, and an internationally recognized sex educator. She's published five best-selling books about sex: Because It Feels Good, Sex Made Easy, Great in Bed, Read My Lips, and The Coregasm Workout. She is currently writing her sixth book.

The Coregasm Workout takes a look at the surprising science of sex and exercise. Did you know that 10% of American women and men have experienced orgasms while exercising (e.g., while doing crunches, pull-ups, leg lifts, yoga, biking, etc)? And that people can learn about their bodies from these exercise experiences in ways that can translate into more connected, enjoyable sex?

Originally from Miami, Florida, Debby has made Bloomington, Indiana her home for the past 20 years. When she's not studying or teaching about sex, she can be found hiking, practicing yoga, cooking, reading good books, and spending time with her family.

Debby loves to join book clubs virtually, so if you're reading her books, drop her a line!

Reviews

[Adam Shields · Rating 4 out of 5]

Short review: Yes I am a guy, yes I read a book about Vulvas. Get over it, they are important to straight guys too.

On the whole I thought it was a fairly good and positive book. I was more interested in the cultural part than the health and pleasure part, but I thought the whole was good. There are two authors and one of them is funnier than the other. The health portions were a little dry and really addressed probably too wide of a range of issues for most readers. Everyone will find info that is not really targeted to them. Frankly a few of the questions disturbed me with their ignorance. If they really are questions that people have then sex education in the US is really in more trouble than I thought.

The cultural points were fairly interesting and really showed how little good research has been done in areas of sexuality and how much really needs to be done.

I have a long (almost 1500 word) review on my blog at http://bookwi.se/read-my-lips/

[Jennifer Rinehart · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a review of a book about vaginas and vulvas. If you faint at the sight of Janet Jackson's breast or if spicy talk make's you swoon, best keep moving, things are about to get real.

First off, when people are talking about vaginas, the region they are speaking of is actually, the vulva (so right there, I learned something new). Vulva and Vagina are not interchangeable terms and should not be used as such.

Here are some more gems of wisdom from the book;

1. Don't Douche, it damages natural flora and causes infections.

2. If you like the idea of unusual pubic hair, there are now plenty of color options for you to try.

3. Vulva dyes are bad news unless you like the sensation of fire ants biting the skin of your ultra sensitive labia majora (imagine that, fire ants on your L-A-B-I-A!).

4. Try to avoid perfumed products, soap too.

5. Love your vulva and it will love you back.

Crafts - bet you didn't think a book about vulvas would have a lot of crafts, well, it does. Watch out Martha Stewart, craft'd!

Here are some of the more interesting crafts

1. make a vulva shaped tampon cozy

2. make your own merkin (why would someone want to make a fake pubic hair wig, I don't know and will probably never find out)

3. make paper panties, invite some friends to make some too, "Hey Betty, wanna hang out this weekend? We can catch the new romcom or, hey, we could make some paper panties! Squee!"

4. Pube-encils - Make a stencil for your pubes! Yeah, I added that exclamation point there at the end to simulate excitement, but strangely I'm not feeling it. Stencils are so 2002.

5. Make a Vulva - out of alginate.

6. Knit a vulva, it's a great conversation piece, imagine discussing it with your in-laws!

7. Make a vulva costume - you'll be a showstopper at the office Halloween costume contest.

8. Papier Mache panties, yeah, I'm not sure what to do with them afterwards either, plus the starch is itchy.

This book is chock full of info, including new (well, new to me, anyway) terminology:

vattooing - tattoos on your vulva - imagine a teeny tiny George Bush (get it? a bush on your bush?!) tattooed on your labia.

vafacial - getting a facial or skin treatment on your vulva, usually in conjunction with waxing; removing ingrown hairs, exfoliating (youch!), applying calming lotion, etc.

vajazzling - having sparkly things affixed to your mons - I refer to this as the Edward Cullen effect (actually, I use a different word than Cullen, it starts with the same two letters but it ends with, anyways, you get where I'm going with this).

There's history too, first off, the history of pubic hair going so far as to mention the lack thereof in classic art (David, The Venus of Willendorf) then the history of vulvas, vulvas as religion and vulvas as the characters in humorous stories.

The Mesopotamiam Goddes of the Vulva, The Asian Goddess Cunti, Nin Imma and the Sheela-na-gigs of Ireland are discussed at length as is the long and varied history of vulva flashing, apparently flashing your lady parts was a particularly amusing weeknight pastime in pre-Renaissance times. I'm going to hit up my galpals and see if we can't bring it back!

there are lots of opportunities for vulva love;

Host a Speculum Party - I shiver with horror at the thought, but hey, to each his own, right?

Check out the Vagina Monologues

Instead of a book club, why not start a vulva crafting club!!! - I'm not sure which of my mom friends to hit up first!

[Jaime (Twisting the Lens) · Rating 4 out of 5]

All of my reviews are originally published at:
http://twistingthelens.wordpress.com
_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Twat, cunt, vag, coochie, pussy va-jay-jay- no matter what you call it, for most, the vagina is a mysterious force that must straddle the dichotomy of two worlds- the image of purity and giver-of-life and the image of tempting seductress. It is easy to see why we do not know as much as we should about this amazing organ, and often steer clear of conversation in regards to the vagina. It is controversial for women to know about their bodies, and is still taboo in many ways. That is where Read My Lips comes in to fill the gaps (no pun intended) in our knowledge about this wonderful, beautiful, overlooked area.

Filled with many facts, starting with the anatomical basics and ending with vagina culture, Read My Lips gives us a comprehensive and entertaining look at the vulva. Celebrating different sizes and shapes, one should never see their vagina as being imperfect again, only different and unique. Herbenick and Schick give a history of shaving, douching, and other history of cleaning it up down there. They supply us with a bare-all examination of cultural stereotypes, as well as a more intensive view on sexual health and the myths surrounding.

So, if you are looking to begin your exploration into the vulva, or would like a deeper understanding of the magical world of vaginas, this book is a must have. While most may not be using the guide on how to make a vulva costume this Halloween season, there is sure to be something for everyone. This is an entertaining and informative step into the demystification of the vagina. By the end, every reader will be saying out loud: “Read My Lips- no more douches,” which is really a great life-motto in general.

[Jessica · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was downright fascinating. It is amazing how little a lot of women know about their own body (and by women I mean me). I didn't give the book 5 stars because there was some cheesy super feminist tree huggy stuff closer to the end, BUT the first half was really informative. I recommend that women take the time to read it, or if you are a man feeling a bit lost, it might be useful to you too.

[Z · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Read My Lips”is an informative and engaging book. It’s neither a simple owner’s manual nor Our Bodies, Ourselves for a new generation. That's not to say that this is a bad thing, only different. It's full of interesting facts, first-person accounts of experiences with vulvas, and health information, and punctuated with warm humor. By choosing to write in a personal friendly, somewhat breezy tone, the authors take changes in social perspectives and communications styles into account; teen-to-mid-twenties-aged readers will likely warm quickly to the book's conversational tone. The authors have made an effort to acknowledge trans* / intersex issues. The 1st chapter includes a clarifying statement regarding the use of the phrase 'women's genitals' and similar terminology in this book. Readers will learn about basic vulval and vaginal health and STDs. The authors support women's rights to safe, healthy, and enjoyable sexual lives. I liked the inclusion of first-person accounts by both women and men: having a vulva, choosing to interact (or not) with a vulva -- everyone has an opinion or some insight to share. Illustrations and detailed explanations both demystify and celebrate the structure, complexity and function of human female genitalia. I'd consider giving this book as a gift to adolescent girls, as well as some women in their twenties who may previously had limited access to such information as presented by women. It may also be a good choice for high school or community college libraries, where students will warm to the informal, empathetic tone.

[Naomi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Alright, I received this book from the publisher today off Netgalley and have not been able to "put it down". This book had alot of buzz in my Goodreads group, Sisterhood of the Traveling Book, and I can see why. Although this book has alot of important information for women to understand related to their own bodies, the authors did it in an engrossing and fun manner. I am very happy I requested this book and agree with some of the reviews I have read on it that it should be required reading, particularly for our younger girls who might have some embarassment on the topic!

[Aja · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fantastic book and a must read for pretty much anyone. The conversational style is easy to read and understandable for readers at any level. The information that is presented in thourough and unbiased. Even the most self-aware women haves something to learn from it. Show/discover/embrace some vulvapride and read this book!!!

[Wendy · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was very well researched and well written. No question could have possibly been left unanswered.
It was technically informative, thought provoking and relatively entertaining.
Full of crafts and party ideas as well.

[Nicole · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think every woman should read this no matter how much they think they know about their lady bits. No matter what you'll learn something new and even take away a new craft project or two...

Received this from NetGalley.

[Kari · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very interesting and informative book. Not something I would normally read, but I was intrigued when I saw it on Netgalley. The authors mix in humor with well researched facts. Definitely worth a peek. Maybe some men should take a peek as well.

[Elaine · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was surprised to find this in the library here in the USA, considering how on TV over here bare bottoms are fuzzed-out and women always seem to have sex with most of their clothes on. It is an enlightening and fascinating book which made me think and made me laugh, too. I recommend it!

[Steve · Rating 4 out of 5]

A comprehensive guide for both owners of said equipment and fans thereof. Both highly informative and written for non-clinicians, this deserves inclusion in the sex/sexuality section of your home library.

[Allison · Rating 3 out of 5]

I give this a 5 for humor and 3 for informational. good book overall.

[Rexanna Ipock-Brown · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very informative book. I think every woman no matter their age should read this book.

[Pam Terry · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great information, easily laid out for reading. It was informative and plain, easy to understand. Very helpful for learning.

[Merary Lopez · Rating 5 out of 5]

Interesting!

[Rosemary · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good - autographed by both authors!

[Moises · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really informative, I think every woman and teenage girl should read this.

[Henry Le Nav · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good all around introduction to the geography and function of the vulva and vagina. The book's strength lies more in the care and maintenance of vaginal health, so I believe this to be a good owner's manual. The book also considers some of the issues and politics of genital awareness, self image, genital cosmetic surgery, and female genital cutting. The book also included directions for making various v crafts. While I can appreciate this for vulva awareness, as a man the crafts held little interest for me.

[Lindsey]

I won a copy of this book through Goodreads Giveaway but have still not received it, which is disappointing, especially since the other people who won a copy appear to have received theirs. Not sure what the situation is but I would love to get my copy! Unfortunately the giveaway was done by the author and she has deactivated messaging on her account so I have no way of notifying anyone. I was super excited about winning this book. :(

[Jennifer Royan · Rating 4 out of 5]

General study of hygiene, external anatomy and history of the vulva. Would work well as an intro to appreciating the organ for men and woman from teens and up. Doesn't get into the weightier matters of cycles, nutrition, etc. I found the crafting element more silly, but I'm sure there are many who would actually make use of it.

[Jessy · Rating 2 out of 5]

Wow. Who knew there was so much to be said about lady parts? It got to be a bit much to be honest. I read the parts that interested me and skimmed over the rest.

[Stephanie · Rating 3 out of 5]

An interesting mix of facts and fun stuff, with some odd crafts thrown in.

[Mills College Library]

612.628 H534 2011

[Greta Grenade · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a very important book for women of all ages to read. Love your body!

[Kaz · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very informative and factual, only thing I did not care for was the humor- it all seemed either forced or awkward and not really funny at all.

[Marissa Sherman Deziel · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very informative....

[Darcy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting read. I learned a lot.

[Shakera · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is very informative and encourages women to embrace the diverse looks of the vulva. I mean DIVERSE. Wondering what a vulva is, its the correct word for the vagina and all the parts. Have other questions or think something is wrong, no worries! This book covers that and if you embrace what your reading, you will emerge thinking positive things about your lady bits. If vajajay talk makes you weak, then you may not be ready. Personally, I was intrigued until the very. That is until the talk about feminism. I was kinda confused on how the vulva became a symbol of feminism. I lost interest at that point.

[Sam Pranger · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great resource for anyone who has or loves someone with a vulva! Lots of fact based info and resources, told in a fun, engaging way. Also: vulva crafts!