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419 pages, Paperback
First published January 7, 2011

“For my mind perceives no beginning, it sees no end at all,
it knows no center. And how would it tell what it sees?
It seems to me that the totality is seen
not all at once in its essence, but by participation.
For when you ignite something from a fire you take the whole
fire.
And there it remains undivided, it remains as before.
Moreover, what is given is separated from the first fire
and is made into many lamps, for it is material fire.
This is a spiritual, undivided fire,
and utterly indivisible and inseparable,
for in communicating to many it is not divided into parts.
But it remains both undivided and in myself;
it springs up in me from within my wretched
heart like the sun or like the solar disc,
spherical, and showing itself radiant like a flame,
I do not know, as was said, what to say about this,
and I wish to keep silent—if only I could!”
- Hymn 1
“You Who now dawn in my darkened heart, (2 Pet 1.19)
You Who have shown to me marvels that my eyes did not see,
You Who come down into me as to the last of all, (1 Cor 15.8)
You Who designated as a son and a disciple of an apostle me
whom the terrible, murderous dragon held previously
as an accomplice who commits every transgression.
You Who are the sun shining in hell before all ages,
and Who enlighten my darkened soul ever more,
and give to me an endless day
—a difficult thing for timid and lazy types like me to believe!”
- Hymn 1
“All humans have been made in the form of God, (Phil 2.6)
and in all of them is formed He Who cannot be contained,
the immutable God, unmoved by nature,
the one Who desires to dwell in all who are worthy,
as each one has within them the whole King,
the Kingdom itself, and the goods of the Kingdom,
and each one shines like my resurrected God has shone,
exceeding the rays of this visible sun, (Mt 17.2)
and thus are those who have stood by God Who glorified
them,
they persevere, astounded by the excess of glory (2 Cor 4.17)
and by the endless addition of divinity’s splendor.
For the end will be eternal progress,
the condition of additional, endless fulfillment,
and shall make an attainment of the Unattainable, and God
of Whom no one can get enough, shall become the source of
Satisfaction for all.
But the full measure of Him and the glory of his light
will be an abyss of progress, and an endless beginning;
and just as those who have Christ transformed within them
stand by Him Who shines unapproachably,
so also the end in them becomes a beginning of glory.
And—in order to make the idea more clear to you—
in the end they shall have a beginning, and in the beginning an end. (Rev 21.6)”
- Hymn 1
“What is your immeasurable compassion, Savior?
How have You deigned that I be made your member,
I the impure one, the profligate, the prostitute?
How have You vested me with a brilliant robe, (Lk 15.22)
flashing forth with the radiance of immortality,
and turning all my members into light?
For your body is immaculate and divine,
flashing forth entirely with the fire of your divinity,
unspeakably mixed and commingled.
And so You have given this to me, my God.
For this dirty and perishable tent
was united to your all-immaculate body,
and my blood mixed with your blood.
I was united, I know, to your divinity also,
and I have become your most pure body,
a resplendent member, a truly holy member,
far-shining, and transparent, and gleaming.
I see the beauty; I look at the luster;
I reflect the light of your grace,
and I am astonished at the mystery of the radiance,
and I am beside myself when I consider myself,
from what a lowly condition I have come, what a marvel!
And I wait quietly and stand in awe at myself,
and I fear and reverence as though before You yourself.”
- Hymn 2
“Of a sudden, [God] appears shining before my face,
such a one as He makes himself appear flashing in me,
and He fills all of me with total joy, every desire,
and sweetness of vision, me the humbled one.
The sudden change, the strange transformation
being accomplished in me is beyond telling.
For if this sun which we all see,
someone saw going down within their heart
and in like manner all of it shining and swelling within,
would they not be speechless as a corpse at this marvel,
and would not all who saw this be out of their senses?
And one seeing the Maker of the sun like a torch
shining out, operating, speaking within them,
seeing this how shall they not be out of their senses? How shall
they not tremble?
How shall they not love the One Who gives live?”
- Hymn 8
“Night has separated me from my very sweet brother,
dividing the indivisible light of love.”
- Hymn 10
“Alas, how shall I write all this? The passions have taken away
from me my strength.
Like bandits, having put upon me self-conceit and hesitation,
pleasure, and anxiety as to how I shall please human beings,
dragging me to and fro, they divide me among themselves.
The one showing my discretion and my sobriety,
the other showing my good works and my inspired actions,
they rendered me a corpse,
and what is great, extraordinary, and awesome
is that they have left self-conceit in me, the defiled one.
For tell me how is it not wonderful, how is it not pitiful,
that such passions fall upon me unawares,
rendering me dead and naked of every virtue,
again without noticing myself, having learned nothing of what
happened,
but supposing myself to be greater than everyone,
a wise theologian both dispassionate and holy,
rightly honored by all persons,
but also praised as though worthy of praises,
summoning everyone, I supposed that I am gathering honor.
For when the people are gathering I puff myself up the more,
and I constantly look around me, lest somewhere someone
has been left out who was not present and did not see me,
and if somewhere someone was found looking suspiciously at
me
then I bear it with malice, and revile, and tear them to pieces,
so that after they hear and cannot bear my censures,
they will come, greet me, and show themselves under my
obligation,
and as if in need of my prayer and love,
and I say to all the other: ‘such a one comes
and seeks my prayers, and to listen to my words,
and to my teaching.’ Woe is me, such simplicity!
So how do I not see the nakedness of my suffering,
nor sense the blows, nor be distressed, nor cry,
nor seek healing lying in a hospital,
how do I not call doctors, showing to them my bruises,
stripping bare even my secret passions for them,
so that they may apply dressings, bandages, and cautery,
and I may steadfastly endure through my healing?”
- Hymn 12
“Is this not a fearful wonder? […]
that You are with us now, and unto all ages, (Mt 28.20)
and that You make each person a home and You dwell within
everyone,
and You become a home to all, and in You we dwell,
each one of us entirely, Savior, with You entirely,
You alone are with each one alone,
and You are entirely alone above us?
[…]
We are made members of Christ, and Christ becomes our
members, (1 Cor 6.15)
and Christ becomes my hand and the foot of all-wretched me,
and wretched I become the hand of Christ and the foot of
Christ.
I move my hand and my hand is Christ entire.
For, understand me, the divine divinity is indivisible!
I put my foot in motion and behold, it flashes as Himself.
Do not say that I blaspheme, but accept these things
and fall down and worship Christ Who makes you like this!
[…]
For while we become many members He remains one and
indivisible,
and each part is the whole Christ himself.
And so thus you well know that both my finger and my penis
are Christ.
Do you tremble or feel ashamed?
But God was not ashamed to become like you,
yet you are ashamed to become like Him?
‘I am not ashamed to become like Him.
But in saying He is like a shameful member
I suspect that you speak blasphemy.’
So then, you suspected badly, for there are no shameful
members!”
- Hymn 15
“This is why I am wounded by his love, (Song 2.5)
insofar as He is not seen by me, I melt away in my senses,
and groaning, I burn in my mind and heart.
I walk about, and I burn, seeking here and there,
And nowhere do I find the lover of my soul. (Song 5-6)
And I often look around to see the one I desire,
and He, as though invisible, is wholly unseen by me. (Mk 5.32)
But when I begin to mourn like one in despair, then
He is seen by me and He looks at me, He Who looks upon all
things.
Amazed, I am astonished at the shapeliness of his beauty,
and how the Creator stooped down when He opened the
heavens
and displayed his unspeakable and strange glory to me.
Who therefore shall also come closer to Him?
Or how shall one be carried up to the immeasurable heights?
When I considered this, He himself was found within me,
flashing forth within my wretched heart,
illuminating me from all directions with immortal radiance,
shining upon all my members with his rays,
folding his entire self around me He tenderly kisses all of me.
He gives his whole self to me, the unworthy,
and I take my fill of his love and beauty,
and I am filled full of divine pleasure and sweetness.”
- Hymn 16
“I am seated in my cell,
in the night or in the day,
love is invisibly
with me, unbeknown to me.
Love is outside of all creatures,
then again it is also with all things;
it is fire, it is dazzling light,
it becomes a cloud of light, (Mt 17.5)
it completes itself as a sun.”
- Hymn 17
“I may explain in full the things You have done for me
through your boundless mercy, O my God,
and through your benevolence alone!
For they are frightful and great, beyond the mind,
what You provide for me, the stranger,
the unlearned, the beggar, who cannot speak freely,
who has been rejected by every person.
Parents did not turn to me with natural love,
my brothers and friends were all mocking me,
for when they said that they love me they only lied.
My relatives, strangers, the princes of the world
did not so much as turn to me and bear to see me,
except to destroy me by their ungodliness.
Often I blamelessly yearned for glory,
and I have not yet found it in the present life.
For glory, worldly glory, I am well assured,
even without other action, is sin.
How often I yearned for people to love me,
and to have the intimacy of friendly relations with them,
and no one among those who think good things would tolerate
me,
but others wanted even more to see me and to know me,
but I fled such types as workers of wickedness.
[…]
The good fled from me on account of my outward appearance,
but I took flight from worthless folk by my own free will.
[…]
When anyone would invite me to the works of madness
and sin of this deceiving world, truly,
my heart completely gathered itself within,
and it hid itself as though ashamed,
wholly and invisibly held together by your divine hand.”
- Hymn 20