Equilibrium

Equilibrium #1

by Meredith Shayne

Welcome to Burreela, New South Wales. Population: more animals than humans. Although most (human) occupants are trying to get out of Burreela, the tiny town is the perfect place for veterinarian Michael Stone to break out of the bad habits that almost cost him the most meaningful part of his life: his profession.

Michael is struggling to regain his balance after hard personal losses and two years of promiscuity and drug abuse. He’s not prepared to meet Ryan Mitchell, a nice guy who won’t take no for an answer, whose patient pursuit leaves Michael less and less inclined to keep refusing. But Michael’s bad habits aren’t that far behind him. Can Michael hold himself together enough to be the man Ryan needs, or will he lose his equilibrium while trying to be man enough to hold on to the one he loves?

Genres: M M Romance, Contemporary, Romance, Westerns, Australia, Queer, LGBT

212 pages, Paperback

First published June 23, 2011

About the author

A scientist in a past life, these days Meredith Shayne mainly uses her scientific training to poke holes in television pseudoscience. Originally from Australia, she moved to New Zealand a few years ago and hasn't regretted it for one minute, even if she frequently wishes that the New Zealand weather was a little better. Meredith travels a lot, so much so that she has developed a shameful love of airplane food and knows her passport number off by heart. When she is at home she enjoys baking, horrible music from the 1980s, and reality television.

Reviews

[Baba · Rating 1 out of 5]

1 star. DNF @50%. Review posted November 12, 2015



I really enjoyed Shayne's Metal Heart, so I thought it'd be time to give her another go. Seems to me it wasn't such a good idea.

Oh. Equilibrium was terribly annoying and foolish. Ah… I'm fine with a bit of awkward fumbling between two guys, and I don't mind the wait either, PROVIDED the unresolved sexual tension is great which, of course, it wasn't. At all. When I decided to quit, they hadn't even reached that state of…er…awkward fumbling bliss yet (I abandoned ship after a first and very forgettable kiss). Due to the ridiculous behavior, I neither cared for the constantly blushing Michael nor the permanently smiling Ryan. The silly interaction and dialogue and irritating bodily reactions annoyed the living daylights out of me. Oh. I…ah… JUVENILE, MUCH?

Oh. Here are a few samples of their dialogue, a selection of those "lovely" blushes, knotted stomachs etc.

"God, sorry," he said, turning to look at the person he'd bumped, a flush starting to creep up his neck as soon as he did. "Oh, I--hi."

"Oh, ah…yeah. Yeah, of course." Michael cleared his throat, willing his face not to heat again and cursing his pale, embarrassment-prone complexion. "I've watched a lot of the competitors today."

Andrew smiled and touched the brim of his hat as he passed Michael, the knowing look in his eyes causing a tide of warmth to wash over Michael's face and neck. Flustered, he turned and beat a hasty retreat into the growing crowd.

Michael flushed.

"Oh. No, not really," Michael said, his stomach in knots as he watched…

…with his stomach in knots.

…the next morning with a knot in his stomach that felt as big as a fist.

Michael's stomach was a twisted knot of nerves when he drove up…

…managed to tie himself in knots over the prospect of seeing his…

…as if the knot there would loosen just from pressure alone.

Horror prickled down Michael's spine at the thought…

Michael's stomach dropped, …

Michael blushed, glad that Ryan couldn't see him.

He felt himself blushing again.

…hoped desperately that he wasn't blushing again.

…to move his hand away, blushing hotly.

Michael blushed.

…trying not to blush under the scrutiny of four pairs of eyes.

…and Michael could feel himself blushing as Ryan said, …

…whoops and cheers, and Ryan blushing, which Michael was disturbed to realize…

…praying he wasn't blushing.

Michael felt himself blush.

Michael blushed.

Michael's face heated.

Michael's face heated.

Michael felt his face heat.

…his face heating.

Michael could feel his face going red as Ryan…

Michael closed his eyes, his face heating.

Michael felt his face heating.

Michael's face got hotter.

He smiled, feeling his face starting to heat.

…and Michael felt his face redden…

etc.


I also have to question the IQ of Michael's sister...

“There’s friendly and there’s friendly. And I think he’s being the type of friendly that ends with sticking your hand down someone’s pants.”
“Jen! Jesus, not in front of the kids.” Michael looked back at the kids again as Jen laughed. “If Jack regurgitates that in front of Ryan, I will kill you.”

Truth be told, Michael's response isn't more intelligent either.


Equilibrium was a big nuisance and bore in equal measure.


Oh, thank you! Ah… have a nice day.

[Nic · Rating 4 out of 5]

Michael moves to a small town to escape his past life and the temptations of the city. He starts working as a vet and meets Ryan when he is sent to tend his injured horse. There is a slow build to the relationship between the two men but they eventually establish a comfortable relationship that is not solely based on sex. There is not a lot of emotional discussion between Michael and Ryan but still a sense of depth to their feelings.

As per the title of the book, things start to come undone as Michael's past raises it's head and he heads back to the city to sort some things out, leaving Ryan behind.

There is a strong focus on family and forgiveness. The emotional fallout from Michael's father's reactions to his sexuality, the acceptance shown by Ryan's family, the bond between siblings and the strength of friendship.

As an Australian I loved the settings and Aussie references and language. The language was very 'naturally' Australian, not the forced, over-the-top expressions that are not typical of real Australian communication. I do have to admit to not being a very good Aussie though because I had never heard of tent-pegging. Heading over to YouTube to check it out now! :)

[Mark · Rating 3 out of 5]

A nice sweet romance and refreshing to read something set in Australia as opposed to the USA or UK. City vet with issues from his past moves to country practice to escape. Here he meets Jackaroo Ryan and after a long and tentative build up finds himself hopelessly head over heels. This is a three star book for me, an enjoyable read but not a lot of substance to the plot.

[Mandy*reads obsessively* · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5*
I really loved this authors Whitewater and so I decided to give this one a go.
Michael is a vet and had an issue with drugs and the resulting behaviors that accompanied taking them.
He moves from Sydney out to a small out of the way town to get away from all that and start over. His mothers death and his fathers rejection of him had sent him on the downward spiral and he needed to stop it.
I'm not sure about the age! I might have missed it, but his dad kicked him out three years ago after his mothers death, he had to be an adult, if he was a vet in Sydney before coming moving...not sure about that though
I liked his sister Jen , but was also a little upset with her and her husband brushing off Michael's feelings or at least it felt that way.
Ryan is immediately interested in Michael, but Michael is reluctant for just the reasons I mentioned above.
It takes over half the book for for the first kiss, this really was a nice slow burn romance, but things happen and Michael loses his equilibrium .
I'm not sure I liked how Ryan left the situation when he left to go back home. telling Michael to come home as quickly as possible, but not to call? I don't know, I would think Michael might have needed to hear a kind word and have some support from the man that loves him. I was also surprised that as ex law enforcement he never mentioned maybe Michael seeing someone for his addiction.
I enjoyed this story but felt it ended rather abruptly, but I saw that there is a short sequel, which I will be getting, so I'm hoping for more closure.

[Alex · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was one of those stories that I enjoyed but didn't wow me. It was nice, sweet, and had some moving scenes, but in the end it wasn't particularly memorable. While there's very little I can point out as being a failing, there wasn't much that I'd mark as really standing out as a strength either. An enjoyable novel, but it didn't do much for me.

The story is fairly interesting, following Michael's struggles to overcome his past and not become the man he was again. Michael resists Ryan's advances for this reason, but Ryan is persistent. While I'm not saying Michael doesn't have plenty of positive attributes, I never really understood why Ryan was so very interested in Michael when Michael didn't seem (from how he behaved/what he said) to be interested in Ryan (despite actually wanting him very much). It seemed hard to find a reason why Ryan would be so interested outside of the fact that there aren't that many gay men in their small town.

Ryan is kind, understanding, and endlessly patient, but is also playful and teasing. He carries the most strength in the book, keeping the romance moving and making scenes fun while Michael carries all the emotional baggage and drama. It was a good mix.

Despite the romance lacking some credibility, I enjoyed the story, but despite that, this book just didn't grab me. Those looking for a drawn out standard romance may find something more in this work.

Be sure to check out my other reviews on my blog.

[Serena Yates · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a book that made a very quiet approach, ensnaring me with its slow build, fascinating setting in Australia and utterly engaging characters. I didn't really think anything much happened as I found out about Michael, a veterinarian and ex-drug addict and the man who falls for him, ex-cop now rancher, Ryan. And then - wham - I was totally engrossed in what happened.

Michael is as flawed as they come. He has partied hard, taken drugs, the works, and now tries to pull himself together and build a new life. Even though it is unlikely that his method of going cold turkey will work for most people, the focus here is on how he deals with the whole situation emotionally. What happens when he is tempted back into his old life. And how he, basically, doesn't believe he deserves Ryan's love.

Ryan is an amazing man. By seeing only the good in Michael, he gives him something to live for. While this is risky, and fraught with potential disappointment, it also makes Michael think and realize he is no longer alone. His life isn't the only one he has the potential to ruin if he goes off the rails. Ryan is a rock, and has tremendous strength to go through what they both face.

If you like stories about flawed characters who try to find their way, if you prefer a slower build in your stories and if you like the setting of rural Australia, you will probably like this book.

[Mandapanda · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great Aussie setting in this excellent country town romance between a veterinarian running away from his past and a lonely cowboy.

[Beatrice · Rating 4 out of 5]

Spoilers of varying degrees may be present in this review. Please approach with caution.

More often than not I end up reading a book whose premise shows a lot of promise but whose content does not fully deliver at all. While in some ways, this can be said true for Meredith Shayne’s Equilibrium , there are far too many good things to say that some of the disadvantages can be – how do you say it? – brushed under the carpet.

First of all, the writing is absolutely solid. I appreciated the fact that it was kept in Michael's point-of-view during the entire thing, because there are some authors whose voices tend to falter and become weaker as they go along because of the switching points-of-view. Thankfully, the same can't be said for this book. We only see it through one set of eyes, so there is more sympathy for the main character, unlike in other books where misunderstandings cause us to curse them for being so stupid because the readers become omniscient.

Characterization was defined and, dare I say it again, solid. Normally I don't get to notice this much, since I am the kind who becomes more engrossed in the story rather than the characters, therefore I can never tell when there are falters in characterization. But Michael and Ryan were too good to ignore, and despite the numerous sides and faces of their behavior, it's not hard to differentiate them through their mannerisms. And one can't truly say that they are mannequins stuffed with surplus personalities (oh God, to say that for Michael and Ryan would be a big blow to me), and they are complete with their own strengths and weaknesses - Michael being a truly wonderful man with all the self-deprecating bullshit, Ryan being patient and stubborn all at once.

A few of the cons to point out would be the distribution of pacing. While I loved the slow burn of the first half of the book, I felt like the last two months were far too fast-paced. There are some allusions to what might happen spread throughout the book, and I understand that what happened to Michael's father can be so sudden for everyone, the aftermath of that felt disjointed. I would've loved to read more about Ryan coming to terms with Michael's past (if only because the confrontation about the drug use was what I was looking forward to since starting the book) because to me, it felt like it was just poked and then left off. I would've appreciated it if that part had been longer.

Hm, other than that, I don't have much else to say about this book, other than that I truly enjoyed it despite its flaws. I'm sure other people would have different opinions regarding this book, but give it a try anyway.

[Cat · Rating 5 out of 5]

I couldn't put this book down, it was that engaging. I loved and appreciated the slow pace of the relationship and the tension between the characters, and it's nice to see a story evolving somewhere else than in the US (even though I have to admit I'm as unfamiliar with Australia as with the USA). I love books that involve animals, too (the more the better), so that was a big plus for me. And last but not least - the book was very well-written and had the right amount of romantic and angsty moments.
Recommended.

[Feliz · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5

A beautiful, slowly building romance. The descriptions of the various equine sports were a bit tedious, but made up for by two interesting main charakters who actually acted like troubled adults and not like sulky teenagers. I found Michael, who was the viewpoint character, the better- rounded of the two, but he and Ryan made a wonderfulcouple not lastly thanks to Ryans understanding and admirable common sense. And I liked the townspeople's "live and let live" attitude. Oh, and Bill was great!

[Vero · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked that one - it was a nice, comfy read.
It had a slow burn that developed nicely into a relationship within a realistic time frame.
What I didn't dig so much was the (supposedly) dramatic end. It was pretty clear from the hints and remarks throughout the whole book, how it would play out and so it felt a little artificial (just a plot device to have some amount of angst in the story), which was a shame because the rest of the book had a quite nice flow and natural feel to it.

[Kira · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reasons to love this book:

- Australia
- the good writing
- the lovely, interesting setting
- interesting, faulty characters
- vet's work-scenes
- all the cute family stuff

A lovely read.

[Gennie Gee · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really liked this book. However, there's a part of me that thinks Michael still has a problem that needs to be dealt with, but I've decided to trust in the world of make believe and know that there will continue to be an HEA for this couple. I LOVE Ryan :)

[SheReadsALot]

Free on Dreamspinners now until 3/17/13

[Katharina · Rating 4 out of 5]

Man, I loved this story!! Meredith Shayne really has a way of writing about these slightly broken characters, not that far gone that help or healing seems unlikely and not that well that you believe they're just going to be dandy no matter what happens. And what she shows then is the curve of getting them back on track, the two steps forward they take that are always followed by this one step back that at some point could just be enough to make every progress moot. She shows life in its most fragile form, where everything is possible, good and bad, and it's about circumstances and people - their strengths and their weaknesses, their willpower and their reasons to go on and fight or their lack thereof - that decide the ending.

Equilibrium is a love story, but it's also a book about getting back on your feet, fighting your demons, and how precarious the balance can be that you're struggling to hold onto. Michael learns all that clearly - he's not a damsel in distress, he's saved himself from the abyss before, but he's just human and temptation is hard to resist when stress reaches stellar proportions. So this time, when the shit hits the fan, he might just need someone else to get him out of his own personal hell and that someone is Ryan, the guy he's in love with, that's in love with him, but that he still hasn't told about his life before being the clean-cut good boy Ryan has gotten to know. Ryan's been patient before, has been patient during his whole pursuit of this relationship of theirs, and maybe he's going to be patient and understanding even now, when he's about to find out about a part of Michael's life and his person that Michael is everything but proud of. Michael just has to hope that he will be.

Michael and Ryan were brilliant, awesome characters that I loved to get to know. Ryan was the perfect cowboy, genuinely nice, caring, open, and straightforward in telling Michael what exactly it is he wants. Michael is the one holding back, not wanting to bring again havoc into his life by endangering the equilibrium he fights so hard to maintain. I loved the slow development of their relationship, the believable pace of the story. I didn't think the plot overly dramatic or angsty, it fit the circumstances and together with the writing style made for an intense and enjoyable reading experience.

Recommended!!

[Elisa Rolle]

This was a very nice novel above all for the outskirts feeling. If not for the use of machines and the tales of life in the big city Sydney, the way of life in small town Burreela was like that of 50, maybe even 100 years before. People know each other, everyone has at least a brother, a cousin, a friend, who was in school with the neighbour, and even the smallest secret is actually the talk of the town. Michael is a graduate vet student who knows he has to change his life; a drug addicted and party boy when he was in Sydney, probably due to the refuse he received from his own father when he came out to them, Michael decides to detached himself from temptation accepting the position of assistant vet in Burreela. What Michael didn’t expect maybe is that most of the work is farm work, and Michael finds himself spending day after day travelling from farm to farm, and above all he meets Ryan, who owns an horse ranch and who is very interested in Michael, and not for his vet skills.

Ryan was a former Sydney police officer who came back in Burreela to help his brother and father; he doesn’t vent him being gay, but his family knows and Ryan is also at a point in life when he would love to be in a commitment relationship; what a convenience that the new guy in town is obviously gay and unattached. Ryan sets out to slowly wooing Michael into his life and bed.

As I said I liked the feeling of the story, it was slow paced but nice, Michael and Ryan meet but don’t immediately fall in bed, letting the reader, and probably Michael, adapt to the new event, so that, when the fact will happen, both of them are ready and primed.

The incursion of modern life, i.e. evil big city, is sudden and almost frightening, Michael will understand that his self-imposed exile is also his safe-shelter, and that there is nothing in the big city that he cannot find in small town, on the contrary, small town has more options for him than any other place in the world.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/1615819509/?...

[Yvonne · Rating 3 out of 5]

This story about a veterinarian who's moved to the country to escape his drug past & a cowboy was very nice & enjoyable. It's set in Australia and you can tell by some of the jargon like using the words 'shout' to mean to buy someone something. But otherwise it seems a cowboy is a cowboy no matter where they're at. This is cute. It didn't have a strong plot or I'd rate it higher. There was something about Michael's homophobic father at the end, but it's not really explored well. His sister seemed particularly obtuse about it and seemed to blame him for the estrangement between Michael & his father. Just for that alone I really didn't care for her. There was a potential for a strong plot involving Michael's past addiction but it seemed like it was just a plot device. If you're an addict you don't just stop because your boyfriend's mad at you and you also shouldn't be drinking so much & using marijuana. Really though, I'm making this story sound more serious than it is. It's a light story about two people slowly falling in love.

[Melyna · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5/5.0

I enjoyed this free St Patrick's day read. It was a sweet romance that built slowly. It was a fun twist on the country/city guy theme and had me remembering scenes from All Creatures Great and Small. The reference to the book by one of the characters had me smiling.

I really did not like Micheal's sister , brother in law and father. It was probably a more realistic portrayal of a family divided but the sister seemed a bit too ready to ignore Micheal's feelings, not even being aware of his drug problem.

I thought the way the story did not portray everyone as either totally accepting or condemning the main characters refreshing. I enjoyed the ending although it left some things unresolved but not something that left the story unfinished.

I liked the Australian setting and the description of the events that I was not familiar with. I look forward to reading more from this author.

[Fehu · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars

First I thought the drug addiction of Michael would be an important part of the story and was relieved that it was not the case. Also what I liked but others may not that the family conflict was not resolved with a HEA.

Michael has a difficult relationship with his father and this one does not just come around and I found that at least realistic.

After said that, I disliked his sister who is self-centered and doesn't notice or gives a damn about the drug problem of her only brother but pushed him to reconcile with their father even if it's the father who was in the wrong and has not contacted his since.

It was more or less instant-attraction and then love, therefore it's not a five stars read and of course because of the ending.
The book ends rather abruptly and leaves a lot of issues unresolved.

[Simon · Rating 4 out of 5]

The story is about Michael, a 26 year old vet from Sidney. Michael moves into the country to escape his hedonistic city life and escape his homophobic father. In the new practice where he is junior partner he meets up with Ryan, ex mounted policeman and now professional horseman. The novel is about their coming together.
Cute story. The first sex scene doesn't happen until 56% (Kindle) of the way through the novel which was a bonus for me. They do tend to get in the way of the plot and I'd rather they weren't so graphic, I do have an imagination, a hint at the dirty stuff is more than enough.
All in all a sweet book. Well written, nice character development, not much of a plot, but then this novel is more character based. Four out of five as it could do with something more exciting within the plot line.

[J · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was entertaining and engaging. I found myself hooked, as Michael's first year in Burreela unfolded. The descriptions of the everyday and special events kept me glued. I appreciated the pace of the development of the relationship between Michael and Ryan. They worked and lived and got to know each other within the context of everyday experiences.

Having spent my entire existence in the city, I admire the skill and passion of those who spend their lives on farms and ranches, caring for and working with horses and other animals.

[Rosie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I LOVED the slow build up to the relationship between Michael and Ryan (a character I grew to love) I found myself wanting just a little bit more at the end though. I thought it ended just before I was ready to leave them. I wanted just a little more, but I wasn't disappointed enough to drop this down from 5 stars. It was one of those books that once I started to read it I just couldn't put it down until the end, the love story really captured my heart. So five stars it is.

[Meggie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this story. It was so romantic... and this slow pace in which Ryan courted Michael, pure emotions, great. Well written romance from this point of view.
I have to admit, that this last melodramatic part of the plot could have at least an epilogue... but in overall I couldn't put this story away till the last page.
Totally HIGHLY recommended story!!!

[SA · Rating 3 out of 5]

Enjoyed this more than expected; there was none of the ridiculous, manufactured drama that characterizes so much of the romance genre. It was a soft, hesitant story about a man with emotional baggage learning how to fall in love and not be afraid of it, and the superfine outback cowboy who wants his body. Hard to beat for a little fluffy summer reading.

[Sara · Rating 4 out of 5]

ebook.
Don't normally touch anything that even remotely looks like a Western. But glad I gave this one a shot, as it is not a Western at all. Man goes to remote location to just work and leave his sordid past behind. Meets man who has come back to remote location to help out his family and has left big city life behind. Fantastic and frustrating dance around each ensues.

[Antonella · Rating 3 out of 5]

Above average. I liked especially the troubled MC Michael and the Australian setting, but the instant attraction at the beginning (and I really mean instant), some frankly boring descriptions of equestrian sports, the drama at the end and the quite abrupt epilogue makes this a three-stars-reading for me.

[Kiki · Rating 3 out of 5]

Parts of this really appealed to me, but somehow, it was uneven. Something about the pacing seemed off. There's a very slow buildup and then a lot of big events and a situation that seems barely confronted, with the ending feeling like a sudden stop rather than a conclusion.

[Mirka · Rating 4 out of 5]

It took them a while but everything was good at the end :)

[Mercedes · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nice

[Kelly (Maybedog) · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved this book. Westerns aren't a genre I read very often but this one sounded appealing. I love reading about veterinarians and about people with a dark past they're running from so I really enjoyed Michael's story. The story progressed nicely and ramped up to the stress and pain of the climax. I really loved Ryan and his self-assured patience. I loved the realism of homophobia in a small western town in Australia. I like that they didn't solve that and didn't try.

The characters were great, too, and the kids were done really well. They weren't too smart or too stupid and didn't take over the scenes.

I'm glad there's another story, I just hope I can find it 13 years later. I will definitely look for more by this author.