Infidelity

by Julia Hartley Moore

Infidelity: it happens to millions of people around the world. We all know about Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren, Prince Charles and Princess Diana, Bill and Hillary Clinton, but it's not something confined to the rich and famous. The truth is that with every relationship and every marriage comes the possibility of infidelity. No matter what gender you are, whether you are straight, gay or bi, infidelity can find you. Julia Hartley Moore has experienced it too - in her own life, and also in her career as a private investigator. In this perceptive book, she identifies the telltale signs to look out for if you suspect your partner is a cheat, how to work through it, and how to survive infidelity without becoming scarred and bitter. Bursting with useful information and practical advice, INFIDELITY is a self-help guide as well as a reference book. It includes dozens of real-life examples from the author's professional work, as well as chapters on how to have a successful affair and on your legal and financial rights (by lawyer Ross Knight). In this new edition, Julia also tells her own extraordinary story. She was in her teens, and the mother of three children, when she experienced infidelity for the first time. Four marriages later - and fifteen years after setting up her own private investigation company - she is in an ideal position to offer both personal and objective insights into a subject that fascinates everyone but devastates those it touches.

240 pages, ebook

First published February 1, 2011

Reviews

[Lisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

There was a time where I read close to every book on this subject that was in the county library system where I was then living. Many of the books I didn't care for or agree with. I sure wish this book was available at that time. Best book on infidelity that I have ever read and I would highly recommend it to any woman that has the misfortune to be in the position of needing some outside advice or information on the subject.

[Shane · Rating 4 out of 5]

Unlike He’s Just Not That Into You (an overrated self-help book for chicks in deficient relationships), Infidelity – Exploding the Myths caters to smart adult women. And not only is the author a woman, she works in a male-dominated profession. Julia Hartley Moore, a successful private investigator, draws on many years of experience, both her own and that of her clients, sharing stories from her files. And unlike the male comedian (!) co-author of He’s Just Not That Into You, Hartley Moore has a great sense of humour, e.g., ‘when the small head is leading the big head all reasoning goes out of the window’, or, ‘Do you forget where you go? Do you forget what you do? Of course you don’t.’ And: ‘Sally was married to a man who lied like a flat fish.’

I’m tempted to give this book to a friend who can’t afford a PI. After nearly three years of dating the man she loves, she’s never met any of his friends or relatives nor seen where he lives, and sometimes doesn’t see him for weeks due to his work, though he texts her heaps. Yet she dismisses my theory that she might be the mistress; his OCD, PTSD, suicidal moods and tumour explain it all. What would Hartley Moore say?

What better way to ‘cover their arse’ than by pre-empting the situation and getting in first with a heart-wrenching story about some terrible physical or emotional illness … ? If there is anything that will make a woman back off it’s a play on her female sensibilities. This is because it’s not in the nature of women (the nurturers and caregivers) to cause undue stress for anyone who is suffering. / This particular type of manipulation is used time and again. Why? Because it works.

While this book looks at infidelity, the cover photo on my edition hints at the broader syndrome of fear of intimacy. Against rumpled sheets between a pair of female feet we see one male foot with no visible counterpart: the man has one foot in and one foot out. Hartley Moore’s sobering study of relationships brims with useful tips, e.g.: ‘Too many details is a sign of lying.’ (Also true of much recently published realist literary fiction?)

[Angela Campbell · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not very well written, somewhat repetitive but nevertheless a provoking account of an expert’s view of infidelity. This book is worth the effort and leaves the reader with thoughtful insights into the relationship between the sexes. Maybe it is a helpful guide too for those experiencing or suspecting infidelity but there’s something for everyone to think about from a woman who has had personal experiences as well as a long career in her own private investigation company.

[Angie Fehl · Rating 4 out of 5]

Bay Road Media contacted me and asked me to review Moore's book, Infidelity, which I believe had updated releases in 2011 and December of 2013. I was sent a hard copy of the 2013 edition, and I'm sorry to say I'm so late reviewing this, but here are my thoughts. (full review) : http://epicfehlreader.booklikes.com/p...

[Gwendolyn Plano · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was one of the winners of this Giveaway. Moore is a practical writer with a bent towards the hilarious. Some of her down-to-earth comments made me howl with laughter--because she calls it as it is. It was a quick read, a definite "how-to" book for those who suspect infidelity.