This book is more entertaining than educational. It’s written as if dads were imbeciles who lack common sense and couldn’t be bothered to read a real parenting book. It’s basically a comic book showing 3 areas of parenting: pregnancy planning, baby care, and playing with the baby. Some of the illustrations are hilarious, but many are ridiculously over-the-top (e.g., "Deliver during the Apocalypse"). The book is good for a laugh, but not much more.
My favorite illustration has the caption "Bring her [baby] to a convention" and shows 3 guys dressed in Star Wars and Star Trek costumes. The dad is dressed as a Jedi and is carrying a lightsaber and the baby in a Yoda costume. I'm a Star Wars fan so my wife and I found this especially funny.
Conception
Increase odds of conceiving a boy: have woman eat potassium, have coffee before sex, use rear entry, have sex after ovulation.
Increase odds of conceiving a girl: have woman eat magnesium, take a warm bath before sex, use missionary position, have sex before ovulation.
Labor phases
1. Early: contractions 15-20 min apart, lasting 30-45 seconds. Call doctor. Later, contractions 5 min apart. Go to hospital.
2. Active: contractions 3 min apart, lasting 60 sec.
3. Transition: contractions 2-3 min apart, lasting 60-90 sec.
Baby’s cues
gaze aversion: overstimulated
rubbing eyes: tired
arching back: reflux
startle reflex: scared; you should swaddle
cooing: wants to talk
concentrating face: pooping
pain cry: loud and long with sustained pitch
hunger cry: short with low pitch
Bathing
Bath temp should be 100°F.
Wash face, then body (top to bottom), then hair.
Remove stains
spit up/vomit: baking soda
fruit juice: lemon juice
grass stains: nail polish remover
dark veggies: white vinegar
urine: rubbing alcohol
poop: sunshine
Miscellaneous
Keep nursery at 68°F.