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Text Order Bride
This story was revised in on January 12, 2012. In this 15,000 word short story, Amanda, a home making teacher from Texas, believes that love has passed her by. She agrees to start communicating with someone her friend knows in Wisconsin, because she wants children, not because she believes that there is love out there waiting for her. When, after two months of communicating, Jason proposes, she agrees, thinking it is her last chance for a husband and children. Love doesn't enter into it. Will Jason be able to convince her otherwise? This is an adult only romance, not a Christian romance.
62 pages, Kindle Edition
First published April 27, 2011
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398 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 81 reviews
July 27, 2011
One of the most ridiculous books I've had the displeasure to read. The only good thing about it was the cost - it was free. Even so, don't bother downloading this pathetic excuse for a book and letting it take up space on your eReader/Kindle/PC.
The concept of this story is that two people in their 30s meet online, text and chat over a few months, without ever laying eyes on each other. They exchange a picture but that's it. And none of those conversations are actually part of this book. I would have liked to see those.
The story starts with the female character standing in the airport waiting for her best friend from college to pick her up. She arrives in a small Wisconsin town the day before her wedding to a man she has communicated with for a few months and has agreed to marry, sight unseen. Amanda is a 32 yo, rather tall (6'2"!!!) teacher/quilter/old maid from Texas. She's also a virgin, never having met a man tall enough or interested enough to have sex or a relationship with.
Bwahahahahaha! Seriously?
Jason, the male character in this abhorrent drivel, is a lonesome dairy farmer who up until now has been too damn busy with his farm to look for a woman to spend his life with. I can buy that. I can also buy the part where he offers marriage after talking to Amanda online for a few months. Hell, there are TV shows that exploit single farmers looking for a wife. Jason is 6'6", which makes him tall enough to handle this (and I quote) "Amazon goddess".
About 15 or so pages into the book, I found myself sitting in my chair with my mouth wide open.
The following is a verbatim excerpt from the book. This is immediately after Amanda mentions some blahblah about church and stuff, and the book takes on a christian undertone.
"They seemed to think alike so far. She'd have to see if she still felt that way after they'd been married for a few months."
Seriously? What if she no longer feels that way? Divorce? That doesn't match the christian themes that were introduced by this point. And then we move on to the very next paragraph.
"They had decided on an eleven am wedding, because she wanted to have some time alone with Jason after the wedding but before she was expected to crawl into bed with him. He had made it plain that he wasn't waiting until she felt comfortable with him before they had sex. It was happening on the wedding night."
OMFG!! Are you kidding me? Basically, he tells her that he'll f*ck her on their wedding night, whether she likes it or not? Knowing she's a virgin? And she agreed to marry him, knowing this???
At this point, I was laughing hysterically and the book had lost all credibility.
And then the clincher - considering the christian undertones introduced in the beginning, the actual consummation of their marriage was far to explicit. It's as if the author can't make up her mind whether she wants this to be a christian short story or an erotic short story, and thus only succeeds in making this a ridiculous short story.
The plot line had so much potential but it was never realized. Too damn bad.
The concept of this story is that two people in their 30s meet online, text and chat over a few months, without ever laying eyes on each other. They exchange a picture but that's it. And none of those conversations are actually part of this book. I would have liked to see those.
The story starts with the female character standing in the airport waiting for her best friend from college to pick her up. She arrives in a small Wisconsin town the day before her wedding to a man she has communicated with for a few months and has agreed to marry, sight unseen. Amanda is a 32 yo, rather tall (6'2"!!!) teacher/quilter/old maid from Texas. She's also a virgin, never having met a man tall enough or interested enough to have sex or a relationship with.
Bwahahahahaha! Seriously?
Jason, the male character in this abhorrent drivel, is a lonesome dairy farmer who up until now has been too damn busy with his farm to look for a woman to spend his life with. I can buy that. I can also buy the part where he offers marriage after talking to Amanda online for a few months. Hell, there are TV shows that exploit single farmers looking for a wife. Jason is 6'6", which makes him tall enough to handle this (and I quote) "Amazon goddess".
About 15 or so pages into the book, I found myself sitting in my chair with my mouth wide open.
The following is a verbatim excerpt from the book. This is immediately after Amanda mentions some blahblah about church and stuff, and the book takes on a christian undertone.
"They seemed to think alike so far. She'd have to see if she still felt that way after they'd been married for a few months."
Seriously? What if she no longer feels that way? Divorce? That doesn't match the christian themes that were introduced by this point. And then we move on to the very next paragraph.
"They had decided on an eleven am wedding, because she wanted to have some time alone with Jason after the wedding but before she was expected to crawl into bed with him. He had made it plain that he wasn't waiting until she felt comfortable with him before they had sex. It was happening on the wedding night."
OMFG!! Are you kidding me? Basically, he tells her that he'll f*ck her on their wedding night, whether she likes it or not? Knowing she's a virgin? And she agreed to marry him, knowing this???
At this point, I was laughing hysterically and the book had lost all credibility.
And then the clincher - considering the christian undertones introduced in the beginning, the actual consummation of their marriage was far to explicit. It's as if the author can't make up her mind whether she wants this to be a christian short story or an erotic short story, and thus only succeeds in making this a ridiculous short story.
The plot line had so much potential but it was never realized. Too damn bad.
February 6, 2012
This book started out with the potential to be a good read, but I found myself feeling extremely cheated. My biggest problem was Jason's disreguard of Amanda's feelings when she expressed that she wans't sure she was ready to sleep with a man she hardly knew. And then he claims at the conclusion of the book that he had loved her from the first time he laid eyes on her. If that were really the case, he would not have told her that he was not willing to wait. Would I recommend this book to another, not likely.
August 15, 2015
If you are a sucker for the mail-order-bride genre (I know, it is a habit I haven't been able to kick), you may enjoy Text Order Bride by Kirsten Osbourne. It is a very short (43 page) mail-order-bride-type story with simple, sweet characters; a light, predictable plot; and the HEA readers of this genre expect. If you are in the mood for a light-and-fluffy read, this may fill the bill for you.
Having read Kirsten Osbourne's historic romances, I must say that I think she does a better job with contemporary settings like the one in this story.
Having read Kirsten Osbourne's historic romances, I must say that I think she does a better job with contemporary settings like the one in this story.
September 15, 2011
First: oh my God, I thought this book was, basically, christian fiction, and therefore I expected it to be sweet and not 50% porn. I WENT INTO THIS EXPECTING SUNSHINE AND PUPPIES, OKAY.
Now, let's talk plot. Two 30something chat online, text each other, and decide to get married because they each want a family. Okay. Cute premise. I was expecting to see cute texts, chats, something along the lines of their relationship building ... nothing. The story opens the day before the wedding and never flashes back to any of that, which is a shame, because it might have salvaged this trainwreck.
Might.
The real problem is with both the characters and the absolutely abysmal writing. The characters were one dimensional and completely unlikeable. Jason may have been tolerable if it hadn't been written that he expected sex on their wedding night whether she was ready for it or not (NO I AM NOT JOKING), but that's mostly because he wasn't in the story much.
And the writing. Oh, the writing. I've read better fanfiction than this. The dialogue was completely unrealistic and stilted, the narrative was terrible, and I counted at least one quick point of view change. DO YOU NOT HAVE AN EDITOR? Probably not, considering it was a free Kindle book and no one in their right mind would actually publish this garbage. Also, the porn wasn't even well written porn, which, in light of everything else, is a tragedy.
To sum it up: this book was terrible, don't even waste the twenty minutes it takes to read it.
Now, let's talk plot. Two 30something chat online, text each other, and decide to get married because they each want a family. Okay. Cute premise. I was expecting to see cute texts, chats, something along the lines of their relationship building ... nothing. The story opens the day before the wedding and never flashes back to any of that, which is a shame, because it might have salvaged this trainwreck.
Might.
The real problem is with both the characters and the absolutely abysmal writing. The characters were one dimensional and completely unlikeable. Jason may have been tolerable if it hadn't been written that he expected sex on their wedding night whether she was ready for it or not (NO I AM NOT JOKING), but that's mostly because he wasn't in the story much.
And the writing. Oh, the writing. I've read better fanfiction than this. The dialogue was completely unrealistic and stilted, the narrative was terrible, and I counted at least one quick point of view change. DO YOU NOT HAVE AN EDITOR? Probably not, considering it was a free Kindle book and no one in their right mind would actually publish this garbage. Also, the porn wasn't even well written porn, which, in light of everything else, is a tragedy.
To sum it up: this book was terrible, don't even waste the twenty minutes it takes to read it.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 3, 2016
Amanda and Jason started texting each other than talked on the phone. Jason is a dairy farmer in Wisconsin and Amanda is a home economics teacher in Texas. Jason's minister's wife, Stephanie is Amanda's best friend and she played matchmaker for these two.
A quick trip to Wisconsin, a marriage proposal and a wedding is planned for the end of the school year. These two are mature adults that are ready to settle down and find what they want in each other to make Text Order Bride a nice Christian romance.
A quick trip to Wisconsin, a marriage proposal and a wedding is planned for the end of the school year. These two are mature adults that are ready to settle down and find what they want in each other to make Text Order Bride a nice Christian romance.
November 5, 2011
Sweet story about Amanda and Jason looking for marriage and kids before love. Set up by a friend, they e-mail, text and talk on the phone getting to know each other. Jason asks her to marry him and she meets him for the first time face-to-face at their wedding and then get to know and love each other. I know it's a short story, but I wish it were a little longer. You know I think 100 pages is a short story. 3.5 stars
July 4, 2011
I love mail-order bride stories but this modern take did not work for me at all. There was no plot at all and absolutely no character development, even though it was a short story I expected a little more in that area.
Book was a free Kindle download.
Book was a free Kindle download.
June 5, 2011
WAY too short and a little bit of an eye roller. The premise of an arranged marriage so to speak, in this day and age, was a little unbelievable as well. C-
June 28, 2011
Bwahahahaha! I didn't read this. Just checking to see if anybody's paying attention.
July 26, 2015
Cheese city!
November 10, 2021
This book was so ridiculous!!! I would have DNF’d this for sure but it was so short I decided to suffer through to the end. Another annoying thing about the book is this. I started the book on my IPad Nook app. I got to the last chapter and had to stop. So later that night I picked up my actual NOOK to finish the last chapter and it is a completely different book! What? The sequence of events is totally different. In one version they meet one time prior to the wedding and in the other, they have never met (just texts and emails). So confused why they are different versions of the same story!
April 16, 2022
This was highly disappointing.
I decided to read this book because I thought it would be an amusing novel in which the main character fell in love while texting a man she had never met in person. I thought we would get to read some of the text conversations and watch their love unfold through the narrative.
Instead, this is a three-chapter, short story that starts the day before the wedding. There was very little storyline. It felt like this was just a sexual fantasy the author felt like penning without any thought to an actual story.
This was boring, disappointing, and not worth the 20-30 minutes it took to read.
I decided to read this book because I thought it would be an amusing novel in which the main character fell in love while texting a man she had never met in person. I thought we would get to read some of the text conversations and watch their love unfold through the narrative.
Instead, this is a three-chapter, short story that starts the day before the wedding. There was very little storyline. It felt like this was just a sexual fantasy the author felt like penning without any thought to an actual story.
This was boring, disappointing, and not worth the 20-30 minutes it took to read.
March 18, 2018
Three stars
This is a cute story and I really enjoyed everything except for the “open door” to the honeymoon. If you’re bothered by sex scenes you might want to pass on this one (or skip over that part) but it’s otherwise a good story.
This is a cute story and I really enjoyed everything except for the “open door” to the honeymoon. If you’re bothered by sex scenes you might want to pass on this one (or skip over that part) but it’s otherwise a good story.
August 24, 2019
Very short story about a modern day mail order bride. Mostly quite sweet although I was disappointed that he wasn’t prepared to wait when she asked him. Quite a few Christian references although the sex scenes (post marriage, of course) preclude calling it Christian lit.
May 20, 2022
Cute & Quirky
This is a quick read. Short and Sweet with a happy ending, which for me is the only reason to read fiction. A woman who thought she was too tall to ever find true love, finds everything she dared not dream of as a modern day version of a mail-order bride.
This is a quick read. Short and Sweet with a happy ending, which for me is the only reason to read fiction. A woman who thought she was too tall to ever find true love, finds everything she dared not dream of as a modern day version of a mail-order bride.
October 31, 2017
Too short. I loved the premise. I would have liked a more developed story with a hiccup to their happy ending. But, overall a nice book with no conflicts.
March 20, 2019
A very short story. It did move very fast. Good for a quick read waiting in outpatient surgery area for a relative. Less than 40 pages.
September 27, 2020
So so good!! 💕
Read
December 24, 2011It's not often that a book comes along that I am completely unable to rate with the Goodreads *stars* system. Sure, there's room for personal interpretation here, but it's pretty clear cut, right? The 1 stars and the 5 stars may be rare, but everything else is pretty easily assigned without *too* much deliberation (for the most part).
But, every now and then I encounter a book that just baffles me, and I think TEXT ORDER BRIDE by Kirsten Osbourne may be one of these. I'll explain my reasons below but, as always, I'll start with the plot.
Amanda is a home-economics teacher with an old-fashioned mentality about life. She teaches young teens the art of cooking, cleaning, and sewing not so much to make a livelihood but more because she is genuinely concerned with sharing what seems to be her perception of the art of femininity.
Given that Amanda is 6'2, she's always had a hard time finding clothes, which forced her to learn to sew her own wardrobe, in full. Being so tall, Amanda also felt that she was out of the running when it came to love. While some men seemed intimidated by her height, others just seemed uninterested in romantic involvement with a woman who towered over their heads, leaving Amanda sure that she'd be a homemaker to only herself forever.
However, Amanda's best friend, Stephanie soon finds a solution. Stephanie's husband is a pastor at a church, halfway across the country, and he knows a nice, 6'6 farm-boy named Jason who is looking for a wife. Always busy tending his farm, Jason has had little time to search for love, but he now feels ready to have a family. Stephanie proposes that Amanda and Jason begin communicating, though phone calls, texts, and emails -- and, the rest is history.
Amanda, again being old-fashioned, agrees when Jason proposes -- without ever having met her "in real life". The couple agrees to marry, meeting for the first time on their wedding day. Since both are seeking marriage so badly .. and since they seem to compatible on paper .. things should be fine, right? But what happens if compatibility never turns to love after the wedding night?
So, I think the premise is interesting enough, but there were several huge things that left me puzzled. First, I wonder why the author chose to write this as such a short story, rather than fleshing things out into a real novel. Everything felt rushed, which made it seem a tad bit unrealistic. If we're going to have a title referring to the text messaging in the story, for example, wouldn't it be nice to at least *see* some of these texts and emails? We're told that Amanda and Jason have communicated for some time, but none of this is detailed in the story at all. It would have been great to expand the getting-to-know you process by actually including actual texts and emails in the story, I think.
Second, we have a strange mix of "the modern" and "the old-fashioned" throughout the story that just didn't feel quite right. It seems that the author did want to specifically emphasize Jason as a down-home farm boy and Amanda as a conservative stay-at-home-mom type, but at the same time the title of "Text Order Bride" falsely suggests something more modern. Would people this set in their ways really strike up a relationship via texts and Facebook messages? I think I almost would have liked to have seen this written as a historical romance instead, keeping things more uniform.
Finally, I started this story expecting something a bit more innocent. Amanda is a virgin, saving herself for her husband, and she seems to be drawn to a typical conservative religious view of femininity and womanhood, despite the fact that religion is never mentioned in the novel. So, imagine my surprise when the most detail in the story turned out to be (almost -- pornographic? --) descriptions of the first sexual encounter between Amanda and Jason. This made me confused as to what audience the author was seeking. Are we going for a modest, conservative love story here, or a bodice-ripping romance?
I guess I admire the author for taking risks and trying to mix the modern with the old fashioned, and the modest with the scandalous, but I just don't think it felt right here. However, I think the idea was cute, and I can't say that I didn't enjoying reading this story. I did I just think I'd prefer to see the author redo this into a novel, giving a bit more thought to the weird dichotomies that the story created.
But, every now and then I encounter a book that just baffles me, and I think TEXT ORDER BRIDE by Kirsten Osbourne may be one of these. I'll explain my reasons below but, as always, I'll start with the plot.
Amanda is a home-economics teacher with an old-fashioned mentality about life. She teaches young teens the art of cooking, cleaning, and sewing not so much to make a livelihood but more because she is genuinely concerned with sharing what seems to be her perception of the art of femininity.
Given that Amanda is 6'2, she's always had a hard time finding clothes, which forced her to learn to sew her own wardrobe, in full. Being so tall, Amanda also felt that she was out of the running when it came to love. While some men seemed intimidated by her height, others just seemed uninterested in romantic involvement with a woman who towered over their heads, leaving Amanda sure that she'd be a homemaker to only herself forever.
However, Amanda's best friend, Stephanie soon finds a solution. Stephanie's husband is a pastor at a church, halfway across the country, and he knows a nice, 6'6 farm-boy named Jason who is looking for a wife. Always busy tending his farm, Jason has had little time to search for love, but he now feels ready to have a family. Stephanie proposes that Amanda and Jason begin communicating, though phone calls, texts, and emails -- and, the rest is history.
Amanda, again being old-fashioned, agrees when Jason proposes -- without ever having met her "in real life". The couple agrees to marry, meeting for the first time on their wedding day. Since both are seeking marriage so badly .. and since they seem to compatible on paper .. things should be fine, right? But what happens if compatibility never turns to love after the wedding night?
So, I think the premise is interesting enough, but there were several huge things that left me puzzled. First, I wonder why the author chose to write this as such a short story, rather than fleshing things out into a real novel. Everything felt rushed, which made it seem a tad bit unrealistic. If we're going to have a title referring to the text messaging in the story, for example, wouldn't it be nice to at least *see* some of these texts and emails? We're told that Amanda and Jason have communicated for some time, but none of this is detailed in the story at all. It would have been great to expand the getting-to-know you process by actually including actual texts and emails in the story, I think.
Second, we have a strange mix of "the modern" and "the old-fashioned" throughout the story that just didn't feel quite right. It seems that the author did want to specifically emphasize Jason as a down-home farm boy and Amanda as a conservative stay-at-home-mom type, but at the same time the title of "Text Order Bride" falsely suggests something more modern. Would people this set in their ways really strike up a relationship via texts and Facebook messages? I think I almost would have liked to have seen this written as a historical romance instead, keeping things more uniform.
Finally, I started this story expecting something a bit more innocent. Amanda is a virgin, saving herself for her husband, and she seems to be drawn to a typical conservative religious view of femininity and womanhood, despite the fact that religion is never mentioned in the novel. So, imagine my surprise when the most detail in the story turned out to be (almost -- pornographic? --) descriptions of the first sexual encounter between Amanda and Jason. This made me confused as to what audience the author was seeking. Are we going for a modest, conservative love story here, or a bodice-ripping romance?
I guess I admire the author for taking risks and trying to mix the modern with the old fashioned, and the modest with the scandalous, but I just don't think it felt right here. However, I think the idea was cute, and I can't say that I didn't enjoying reading this story. I did I just think I'd prefer to see the author redo this into a novel, giving a bit more thought to the weird dichotomies that the story created.
January 26, 2012
I originally reviewed this book in Jan before the author revised it. I'll leave that review at the bottom of this one just so you can see just how much better both the story and her craft have gotten.
Review:
Six foot two, Texas Home-Ec teacher Amanda feels like love has passed her by, until she's set up on a text date with Jason, a dairy farmer in Wisconsin.
I'm pretty sure the author has captured the feeling of gajillions of unattached women in America. No, not everyone is looking to get married and have kids, but those that are, and haven't found the loves of their life will like both the hero and heroine of this story. We get a whole lot of the long distance courtship, way more of the characters motivations, and a teensy bit more tension. (I still want some more conflict.)
I like the improvements made in this updated version so much that I'm hoping the author works on it some more and turns it into a full length novel. I'm thinking Harlequin's American Romance line here.
I would like to see a bit more on why Amanda feels like she and Jason would have a loveless marriage. And I want Amanda to be a little bit stronger female character. I still don't like the part where she asks him if she can use the loo before their wedding night begins. Tell him sister, then go have a little nervous breakdown behind close doors.
I also think that by expanding the story into a novella or full length book it would help to eliminate the jumps in POV. There was quite a bit of head hopping, which is a no-no unless your Nora Roberts. But if it's longer we can spend whole chapters in Jason's head, not just a few blurbs.
Oh, and I still think this is one of the better self pub book covers I've seen.
My recommendations:
If you like sweet romance and are looking for a quick read definitely one-click this. If you already have it on Amazon (they won't let you 'buy' it again) you can also get it at AllRomance.com in their free section. (which is where I got it.
I give the new version of this story, not two, not three, but four stars. You go girl.
Original Review, previous to the updated version:
Amanda, a school teacher from Texas, moves to Wisconsin to marry Jason, a dairy farmer, sight unseen in this modern twist on arranged marriage.
It's not that I didn't buy the plot of this book. I did. This could totally happen in our day and age. Some unmarried, overlooked woman desperate for love agrees to meet and be courted by (and later marry) a just-now-looking-to start-a-family bachelor, via modern technology. Yeah, I'm in.
It's just that the story needs some more work. There is so much more room for some great character and plot development.
Gimme some of the build up to the wedding day. Show me some of the texts, facebook messages, emails and phone calls. Let me see Jason courting Mandy. While you're there, show me how and why these two have gotten to the point they are ready for a kind of arranged marriage with emotions and background.
Then throw in some conflict!
This is actually my biggest problem with the story. Everything was pretty hunky dory for everyone the whole way through. Yeah, Mandy had some issues with self esteem and Jason was thwarted in his randiness, but I want so much more.
What I'm really saying here is this story has great potential with some the benefit of a great critique group (and by great, I mean really honest and open about what needs to be done to make the story better, but in a supportive way) and lots and lots of re-writing.
So, call me Kristen, let's talk.
Recommendations:
Glad I didn't have to pay for this book (although the writing life lessons I've learned from it are priceless).
Don't one-click this one now, but check back in a few years.
I'm giving this one two stars.
Review:
Six foot two, Texas Home-Ec teacher Amanda feels like love has passed her by, until she's set up on a text date with Jason, a dairy farmer in Wisconsin.
I'm pretty sure the author has captured the feeling of gajillions of unattached women in America. No, not everyone is looking to get married and have kids, but those that are, and haven't found the loves of their life will like both the hero and heroine of this story. We get a whole lot of the long distance courtship, way more of the characters motivations, and a teensy bit more tension. (I still want some more conflict.)
I like the improvements made in this updated version so much that I'm hoping the author works on it some more and turns it into a full length novel. I'm thinking Harlequin's American Romance line here.
I would like to see a bit more on why Amanda feels like she and Jason would have a loveless marriage. And I want Amanda to be a little bit stronger female character. I still don't like the part where she asks him if she can use the loo before their wedding night begins. Tell him sister, then go have a little nervous breakdown behind close doors.
I also think that by expanding the story into a novella or full length book it would help to eliminate the jumps in POV. There was quite a bit of head hopping, which is a no-no unless your Nora Roberts. But if it's longer we can spend whole chapters in Jason's head, not just a few blurbs.
Oh, and I still think this is one of the better self pub book covers I've seen.
My recommendations:
If you like sweet romance and are looking for a quick read definitely one-click this. If you already have it on Amazon (they won't let you 'buy' it again) you can also get it at AllRomance.com in their free section. (which is where I got it.
I give the new version of this story, not two, not three, but four stars. You go girl.
Original Review, previous to the updated version:
Amanda, a school teacher from Texas, moves to Wisconsin to marry Jason, a dairy farmer, sight unseen in this modern twist on arranged marriage.
It's not that I didn't buy the plot of this book. I did. This could totally happen in our day and age. Some unmarried, overlooked woman desperate for love agrees to meet and be courted by (and later marry) a just-now-looking-to start-a-family bachelor, via modern technology. Yeah, I'm in.
It's just that the story needs some more work. There is so much more room for some great character and plot development.
Gimme some of the build up to the wedding day. Show me some of the texts, facebook messages, emails and phone calls. Let me see Jason courting Mandy. While you're there, show me how and why these two have gotten to the point they are ready for a kind of arranged marriage with emotions and background.
Then throw in some conflict!
This is actually my biggest problem with the story. Everything was pretty hunky dory for everyone the whole way through. Yeah, Mandy had some issues with self esteem and Jason was thwarted in his randiness, but I want so much more.
What I'm really saying here is this story has great potential with some the benefit of a great critique group (and by great, I mean really honest and open about what needs to be done to make the story better, but in a supportive way) and lots and lots of re-writing.
So, call me Kristen, let's talk.
Recommendations:
Glad I didn't have to pay for this book (although the writing life lessons I've learned from it are priceless).
Don't one-click this one now, but check back in a few years.
I'm giving this one two stars.
May 19, 2014
Full review removed as Goodreads does not deserve my (free) reviews. The short version was this story had a horrible writing technique, had an idiotic main character with no spine (ASKING to go to the bathroom before sex?????) and an author with an appalling lack of understanding of female anatomy.
The book had a rewrite, things got better, but the hymen was still in the wrong place.
The star rating given reflects my opinion within ‘the official goodreads rating system’.
1 star: Didn’t Like it
2 stars: It’s Okay
3 stars: Liked it
4 stars: Really Liked it
5 stars: It Was Amazing
I don’t really give a rat-fuck that there are some who think I ‘owe’ an explanation for my opinion. Nope, nada, and not sorry about it.
Sometimes I may add notes to explain what my opinions are based on, and sometimes I don’t. I do this for me, on my books, in my library and I don’t ‘owe’ any special snowflakes a thing. Fuck off if you don’t like it and stop reading my shit.
Particularly given the ‘modifications’ to reader’s personal content going on (and outright censorship), unless particularly motivated I will not comment in detail.
It would help if GR was forthcoming in the new ‘appropriate’ and would make a site-wide announcement delineating the new focus from a reader-centric site to one that is now for authors and selling.
The book had a rewrite, things got better, but the hymen was still in the wrong place.
The star rating given reflects my opinion within ‘the official goodreads rating system’.
1 star: Didn’t Like it
2 stars: It’s Okay
3 stars: Liked it
4 stars: Really Liked it
5 stars: It Was Amazing
I don’t really give a rat-fuck that there are some who think I ‘owe’ an explanation for my opinion. Nope, nada, and not sorry about it.
Sometimes I may add notes to explain what my opinions are based on, and sometimes I don’t. I do this for me, on my books, in my library and I don’t ‘owe’ any special snowflakes a thing. Fuck off if you don’t like it and stop reading my shit.
Particularly given the ‘modifications’ to reader’s personal content going on (and outright censorship), unless particularly motivated I will not comment in detail.
It would help if GR was forthcoming in the new ‘appropriate’ and would make a site-wide announcement delineating the new focus from a reader-centric site to one that is now for authors and selling.
July 16, 2011
This was cute...steamy...and Christian? Well, the characters were Christian but the story was very erotic so it probably doesn't really belong in that category.
But it was cute.
Two people in their 30's, ready for a family AND marriage (wow, what a concept!) chat online, on the phone and via texts (would have liked to have seen more of that) and decide to marry shortly afterwards.
They don't meet until the actual wedding.
I thought it was rather interesting/weird that he had told her that they WOULD be enjoying a wedding night...no waiting.
After reading through some of the other reviews and peeps being annoyed because of the shortness of the story or the lack of prequel or epilogue, I have to say that I was happy with this one. I read fanfiction and this read like a nicely crafted one shot...yes, I'd read more of her work.
Also, I actually know a couple that met through something like Harmony.com...they talked for HOURS, they sent LETTERS and EMAILS...they met, he asked her to marry him, and two months later they were married...and still are with three little kids. He's a youth pastor. Interesting sidenote...HER paster refused to marry them, said that there was no way, no how that they could KNOW each other...guess the joke is on him.
But it was cute.
Two people in their 30's, ready for a family AND marriage (wow, what a concept!) chat online, on the phone and via texts (would have liked to have seen more of that) and decide to marry shortly afterwards.
They don't meet until the actual wedding.
I thought it was rather interesting/weird that he had told her that they WOULD be enjoying a wedding night...no waiting.
After reading through some of the other reviews and peeps being annoyed because of the shortness of the story or the lack of prequel or epilogue, I have to say that I was happy with this one. I read fanfiction and this read like a nicely crafted one shot...yes, I'd read more of her work.
Also, I actually know a couple that met through something like Harmony.com...they talked for HOURS, they sent LETTERS and EMAILS...they met, he asked her to marry him, and two months later they were married...and still are with three little kids. He's a youth pastor. Interesting sidenote...HER paster refused to marry them, said that there was no way, no how that they could KNOW each other...guess the joke is on him.
June 9, 2011
This was definitely a short story. It took me all of 30 minutes to read. However, the story moved along nicely!
The story for me was interesting because it contained some elements that I like in storyline. Amanda meets through some friends; however they never actually physically meet. They talk via text and email, and after a month they decide to marry. I love marriage of convenience romances because the two individuals are never usually prepared for the other. In this case they did seemed some what prepared in every area but whether Love factored into it (enough said, as I don't want to give anything away.)
I liked this story enough that I wish the author could go back and expand the story. Give me more detail on Amanda and Jason's texting and emailing one another, give me more detail on how they handle their day to day lives after they get married, and definitely make sure there is an epilogue, so I know what happened to them.
Again, for a very short story this was still an enjoyable read. I will keep this author on my watch list.
The story for me was interesting because it contained some elements that I like in storyline. Amanda meets through some friends; however they never actually physically meet. They talk via text and email, and after a month they decide to marry. I love marriage of convenience romances because the two individuals are never usually prepared for the other. In this case they did seemed some what prepared in every area but whether Love factored into it (enough said, as I don't want to give anything away.)
I liked this story enough that I wish the author could go back and expand the story. Give me more detail on Amanda and Jason's texting and emailing one another, give me more detail on how they handle their day to day lives after they get married, and definitely make sure there is an epilogue, so I know what happened to them.
Again, for a very short story this was still an enjoyable read. I will keep this author on my watch list.
December 8, 2011
This was a short, sweet, old-fashioned romance that took me out of my reading slump and reminded me why it is that I favoured the romance genre so heavily in my teens. There's something about a marriage of convenience and the slow falling-in-love that comes with a mature relationship based on mutual respect and admiration that gets me every time.
While Kirsten's beginnings as a writer show in the sometimes awkward dialogue and prose, characterised by repetitive descriptions and use of the same phrasing in consecutive sentences, as well as excessive descriptions of the main character's thoughts that could have been more subtly woven into the story (I believe), I can't deny that the story gripped me and had me experiencing some of the nervous excitement and downright giddiness of a new bride who's found herself married to complete stranger.
I think this book makes for a sweet, romantic read that will leave the reader with a case of the warm fuzzies and a whole-hearted belief that it's never too late to find true love.
While Kirsten's beginnings as a writer show in the sometimes awkward dialogue and prose, characterised by repetitive descriptions and use of the same phrasing in consecutive sentences, as well as excessive descriptions of the main character's thoughts that could have been more subtly woven into the story (I believe), I can't deny that the story gripped me and had me experiencing some of the nervous excitement and downright giddiness of a new bride who's found herself married to complete stranger.
I think this book makes for a sweet, romantic read that will leave the reader with a case of the warm fuzzies and a whole-hearted belief that it's never too late to find true love.
January 16, 2016
Text Order Bride by Kirsten Osbourne
Amanda lives in the same small Texas town she grew up in. After college she returned to help her mother before she passed on. Alone now she's considering maybe moving on. Her best friend Stephanie had married and moved to Wisconsin ten years earlier but Amanda didn’t foresee marriage in her future. She didn’t see much at all for her future besides teaching homemaking.
Jason is a Wisconsin dairy farmer. His pastor’s wife talks so highly about her friend back in Texas and she has given Jason her friends phone number to text her. He’s lonely and wants to settle down and have a family. So one lonely night he texts Amanda and that night changed his future forever.
This is a shorter story and things move pretty fast with the characters after the first night they meet via texting. I enjoyed the story.
**Sensual situations within marriage
http://justjudysjumbles.blogspot.com/...
Amanda lives in the same small Texas town she grew up in. After college she returned to help her mother before she passed on. Alone now she's considering maybe moving on. Her best friend Stephanie had married and moved to Wisconsin ten years earlier but Amanda didn’t foresee marriage in her future. She didn’t see much at all for her future besides teaching homemaking.
Jason is a Wisconsin dairy farmer. His pastor’s wife talks so highly about her friend back in Texas and she has given Jason her friends phone number to text her. He’s lonely and wants to settle down and have a family. So one lonely night he texts Amanda and that night changed his future forever.
This is a shorter story and things move pretty fast with the characters after the first night they meet via texting. I enjoyed the story.
**Sensual situations within marriage
http://justjudysjumbles.blogspot.com/...
September 30, 2012
I loved the premise of this story. The idea of texting being the catalyst to bring two lonely souls together intrigued me. However, there were several plot issues that hampered the story.
While I know the book was probably intended to be a short story, I think the subject matter wasn't suited to a short story. The hero and the heroine barely knew each other when they rushed into marriage, and there was no existing reason for such haste. Ms. Osbourne didn't indicate why the two main characters felt the need to have a quickie wedding.
As mentioned by other reviewers, I did have an issue with the hero's refusal to wait on the wedding night. This wouldn't have been an issue, however, if the wedding hadn't been so quick.
I really do think the premise of this story was really good, and, in my opinion, the book would benefit from some expansion and plot enhancement.
While I know the book was probably intended to be a short story, I think the subject matter wasn't suited to a short story. The hero and the heroine barely knew each other when they rushed into marriage, and there was no existing reason for such haste. Ms. Osbourne didn't indicate why the two main characters felt the need to have a quickie wedding.
As mentioned by other reviewers, I did have an issue with the hero's refusal to wait on the wedding night. This wouldn't have been an issue, however, if the wedding hadn't been so quick.
I really do think the premise of this story was really good, and, in my opinion, the book would benefit from some expansion and plot enhancement.
October 8, 2012
Amanda, a single home-ec texas teacher begings communicating with Wisconsin Dairy Farmer, Jason. This is story of 2 people wanting the same thing, and decide maybe they could have it together.
I love the idea of 2 people actually getting to know eachother without being able to see eachother right away. The story was a little dry and i really wish i could have learned more about the characters and there background story.
This is a book for anyone who wants a light easy read. There isnt much to this story. I think it is a good idea for a story but there wasnt much depth to it.
June 1, 2011
This is a short story about a girl who marries a farmer whom she has never met and with whom she has only communicated by email/text/phone. Although, the tale was a little unrealistic (in an old-fashioned way) and a bit happily-ever-after, it was well structured and well written (with some spicy adult content) and I found it enjoyably rose-tinted. Whilst I very rarely read short stories, I found this a pleasant way to spend 45 minutes and not only will I seek out more work by this author, she can also be proud of the fact that, from now on, I will certainly entertain more short story reads.
January 21, 2015
Ugh... I don't know about this one... The "warning" at the beginning clearly stated "This is NOT a Christian romance, it is an adult-only book" ; however this read just like a Christian romance!!! What was adult only about a 32year -old-virgin-church-goer-mail-order-bride, who leaves one village for another to marry a dairy farmer- with no sex anywhere in the picture? After she immaturely frets for pages and pages , they finally do it on their wedding night - very PG13 - the end!
Note- she asks her hick husband if they can wait for a week or so, until they get to know each other before they have sex - and he says "no"!!! Wtf?!?!
Note- she asks her hick husband if they can wait for a week or so, until they get to know each other before they have sex - and he says "no"!!! Wtf?!?!
April 7, 2013
Complete waste of my time, and this book tops my list of “Why You Should Never Get Free Books on Amazon.”
Absolutely ridiculous and unreal. Amanda, who is 6'2", cannot find a man tall enough for her. Has this woman never heard of basketball players? Seriously.
And of course, comes this man, Jason, who is taller than her (6'6") and whoopee-they click! They get married, with his intention of her losing her virginity to him.
Absolutely ridiculous and unreal. Amanda, who is 6'2", cannot find a man tall enough for her. Has this woman never heard of basketball players? Seriously.
And of course, comes this man, Jason, who is taller than her (6'6") and whoopee-they click! They get married, with his intention of her losing her virginity to him.
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