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The Grass Is Always Greener On The Other Side
Some suburban moms just can't catch a break. There is humor in raising kids, guinea pigs, soccer moms and Nutella. Toss in two new roommates to make ends meet, crazy daily chaos and a desire to have the green grass she once had, you get a story about a mom that makes it all work out. A light, uplifting read, that any mom could easily relate to. Humor in all the right spots and just a touch of romance to give it all a happy ending.
excerpts
Grass is always greener on the other side. It's the truth. Take a look around you. Doesn't everyone else's life seem like a double chocolate fudge sundae compared to your own some days? These days, in my life, just to have green grass would be a vision.
Although, I had no idea why he had such a look of disgust or amusement all wrapped into one single sentence. "Maybelline Briggs sign here." I signed and then he handed me my package and practically bolted down the steps from my front porch.
I on the other hand stood there with my package in hand and a quick thought crossed my mind. 'Oh shit!' I had opened the door in my granny underwear; my good ones were in the washer and my long faded gray tee shirt that doubled as a sleep shirt and had a few holes in bad places. Not to mention that the Nutella and I looked as if we had a coco spread war and it won. The whole front of my shirt covered in small smears of chocolaty creamy goodness, made me look like an unwholesome picture of goodness.
I watched him look around and I was sure he put his nose to the air for a second. He let his face relax and a huge smile crossed his face. I wanted to say it but I did not. The man vaguely resembled the 007 Bond Agent in Quantum of Solace.
Tag looked good, no better than good. Just a year ago he was a pudgy middle waist dad who worked as a Dentist then came home and stared into some electronic or other. He had let his looks go and our romance followed right down with it. I chalked it up as marriage. He had a major lack of ambition as I had listened to him talk about writing a dental book for years and never saw him type or write one word down on paper. I put that idea of his right up next to he would give me flowers for my birthday or anniversary. It just never happened.
Then one day he hired her, his dental assistant. Fresh out of college and all of twenty something. Legs up to her neck, perky fake tits, round bottom ass and not an ounce of fat on her. She was definitely single digits unlike my size fourteen. Sometimes I imagined if I just took the one and four in my size and added them together, I was a single digit too. Dream on.
Oh, now watching Jolene flirt with Tag, from the front window, was hilarious. She was bending over in front of him. He was eyeing her like a piece of candy. Now she is practically squeezing her tits together in her two sizes too small tank top. Oh now look at this. She just handed him the locks and batted her eyelashes. I did not think she was that good.
Tag hollered over the rail. "Babe, grab me a cordless screwdriver will ya?" He was looking at me, but he had not called me babe in over nine years and Jolene was the one he was helping. I smiled and walked away. I knew exactly where the cordless screwdriver was, and he did not. In fact, he had no idea where anything in this house was, because he had not fixed a darn thing or lifted a tool for our entire marriage.
Then he shocked me with a question that I had to really dig deep with. "If you could have any one thing right now what would it be?"
I sat stunned in silence for a good minute while I looked out over my brown dead grass of a yard and remembered all the years I cared for that yard, tending to the flowers and put time, money, effort and a lot of sweat into that yard. I didn't see that yard coming back to its glory days anytime soon. "Green grass."
"No I get it but I couldn't help to think. It kind of goes back to that question of the one thing I want. I want green grass damn it. I deserve it. I want my actually grass to be green again which will take a sprinkler repair and new sod. I don't have the money for that. However, in the metaphorically speaking sense, I want green grass. I want to have the money to spruce myself up passed this frumpy point I've allowed. This isn't about looks; it's about self-confidence and what a woman has to do to get to that point." I put my hand up to stop his throat clearing. "Look, we as women are our own worst critic. However, we also need these things so we can look in the mirror to say, 'ah, my grass is looking pretty green'. If it takes a box of hair color, a new outfit or to shed a few pounds to make the grass seem green then so be it. I will agree with you though. Those women over forty, searching for the holy grail of twenty, they need to reexamine their heads about aging and youth." I turned sideways to him and smiled hugely.
excerpts
Grass is always greener on the other side. It's the truth. Take a look around you. Doesn't everyone else's life seem like a double chocolate fudge sundae compared to your own some days? These days, in my life, just to have green grass would be a vision.
Although, I had no idea why he had such a look of disgust or amusement all wrapped into one single sentence. "Maybelline Briggs sign here." I signed and then he handed me my package and practically bolted down the steps from my front porch.
I on the other hand stood there with my package in hand and a quick thought crossed my mind. 'Oh shit!' I had opened the door in my granny underwear; my good ones were in the washer and my long faded gray tee shirt that doubled as a sleep shirt and had a few holes in bad places. Not to mention that the Nutella and I looked as if we had a coco spread war and it won. The whole front of my shirt covered in small smears of chocolaty creamy goodness, made me look like an unwholesome picture of goodness.
I watched him look around and I was sure he put his nose to the air for a second. He let his face relax and a huge smile crossed his face. I wanted to say it but I did not. The man vaguely resembled the 007 Bond Agent in Quantum of Solace.
Tag looked good, no better than good. Just a year ago he was a pudgy middle waist dad who worked as a Dentist then came home and stared into some electronic or other. He had let his looks go and our romance followed right down with it. I chalked it up as marriage. He had a major lack of ambition as I had listened to him talk about writing a dental book for years and never saw him type or write one word down on paper. I put that idea of his right up next to he would give me flowers for my birthday or anniversary. It just never happened.
Then one day he hired her, his dental assistant. Fresh out of college and all of twenty something. Legs up to her neck, perky fake tits, round bottom ass and not an ounce of fat on her. She was definitely single digits unlike my size fourteen. Sometimes I imagined if I just took the one and four in my size and added them together, I was a single digit too. Dream on.
Oh, now watching Jolene flirt with Tag, from the front window, was hilarious. She was bending over in front of him. He was eyeing her like a piece of candy. Now she is practically squeezing her tits together in her two sizes too small tank top. Oh now look at this. She just handed him the locks and batted her eyelashes. I did not think she was that good.
Tag hollered over the rail. "Babe, grab me a cordless screwdriver will ya?" He was looking at me, but he had not called me babe in over nine years and Jolene was the one he was helping. I smiled and walked away. I knew exactly where the cordless screwdriver was, and he did not. In fact, he had no idea where anything in this house was, because he had not fixed a darn thing or lifted a tool for our entire marriage.
Then he shocked me with a question that I had to really dig deep with. "If you could have any one thing right now what would it be?"
I sat stunned in silence for a good minute while I looked out over my brown dead grass of a yard and remembered all the years I cared for that yard, tending to the flowers and put time, money, effort and a lot of sweat into that yard. I didn't see that yard coming back to its glory days anytime soon. "Green grass."
"No I get it but I couldn't help to think. It kind of goes back to that question of the one thing I want. I want green grass damn it. I deserve it. I want my actually grass to be green again which will take a sprinkler repair and new sod. I don't have the money for that. However, in the metaphorically speaking sense, I want green grass. I want to have the money to spruce myself up passed this frumpy point I've allowed. This isn't about looks; it's about self-confidence and what a woman has to do to get to that point." I put my hand up to stop his throat clearing. "Look, we as women are our own worst critic. However, we also need these things so we can look in the mirror to say, 'ah, my grass is looking pretty green'. If it takes a box of hair color, a new outfit or to shed a few pounds to make the grass seem green then so be it. I will agree with you though. Those women over forty, searching for the holy grail of twenty, they need to reexamine their heads about aging and youth." I turned sideways to him and smiled hugely.
116 pages, ebook
First published April 30, 2011
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14 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews
February 16, 2015
A light fun read full of Nutella! What more could you want? A romantic comedy about a Mum trying to make ends meet after a divorce and coping with menopause. I found the characters likable, especially the handsome love interest, who was a real gentleman. It was great to see the characters grow throughout the book. A dreamy happily ever after.
January 17, 2019
Loved this book, humor was nice. I even laughed a few times. I adore books with humor. It has just about all in it, lost love, new love, kids that drive you nuts, ex's, roommates so much more. Is really a book to keep and re-read.
Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews