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134 pages, Hardcover
First published December 1, 1959
My obituary, if I had died in harness,
Would have occupied a column and a half
With an inset, a portrait taken twenty years ago.
In five years’ time, it will be the half of that;
In ten years’ time, a paragraph. (26)
At bottom, I believe you’re still the same silly Richard
You always were. You wanted to pose
As a man of the world. And now you’re posing
As what? I presume, as an elder statesman;
And the difference between being an elder statesman
And posing successfully as an elder statesman
Is practically negligible. And you look the part.
Whatever part you’ve played, I must say you’ve always looked it. (69)
Yet she had a peculiar physical attraction
Which no other woman has had. And she knows it.
And she knows that the ghost of the man I was
Still clings to the ghost of the woman who was Maisie.
We should have been poor, we should certainly have quarreled,
We should have been unhappy, might have come to divorce;
But she hasn’t forgotten or forgiven me. (109)
If there’s nothing, truly nothing, that you couldn’t tell Monica
Then all is well with you. You’re in love with each other—
I don’t need to be told what I’ve seen for myself!
And if there is nothing that you conceal from her
However important you may consider it
To conceal from the rest of the world—your soul is safe.
If a man has one person, just one in his life,
To whom he is willing to confess everything—
And that includes, mind you, not only things criminal,
Not only turpitude, meanness and cowardice,
But also situations which are simply ridiculous,
When he has played the fool (as who has not?)—
Then he loves that person, and his love will save him.
I’m afraid that I’ve never loved anyone, really. (102)
It is the peace that ensues upon contrition
When contrition ensues upon knowledge of the truth. (127)
I’ve only just now had the illumination
Of knowing what love is. We all think we know,
But how few of us do! And now I feel happy—
In spite of everything, in defiance of reason,
I have been brushed by the wing of happiness. (128)
Age and decrepitude can have no terrors for me,
Loss and vicissitude cannot appal me,
Not even death can dismay or amaze me
Fixed in the certainty of love unchanging.
I feel utterly secure
In you; I am a part of you. Now take me to my father. (132)