Becoming Patrick: A Memoir

by Patrick James McMahon

When Pat McMahon risks the love of the mother who raised him by seeking out the mother who gave him away, he transforms from a mild-mannered engineer into a frenetic detective. After he overcomes the challenges of existential angst, bureaucratic roadblocks, and unemployment, the phone call to his first mother releases a torrent of long-buried feelings. During a sometimes turbulent long-distance unfolding, he absorbs her shocking revelations and comes out as gay once again. Their eventual reunion creates a profound bond, even as he navigates waves of conflicting emotions, merges past with present, and embarks on a new future rooted in truth and insights into the universal quest for identity and human connection. He is Becoming Patrick.

Genres: Adoption, Biography Memoir, Nonfiction

354 pages, Paperback

First published April 11, 2011

About the author

Patrick McMahon was born in Chicago at Illinois Masonic Hospital. Three days later he was handed over to a new set of parents just outside that hospital. He grew up in an adoptive family in the suburb of Downers Grove and lived high school years in Monett, Missouri. He has an engineering degree from the University of Missouri - Columbia, and a Bachelor of Music from San Francisco State University. His life-long passion for photography has resulted in portrait work and national fine art exhibition. His memoir, Becoming Patrick, about reconnecting with his original family, was a San Diego Book Awards Finalist. He currently resides in San Diego, where he writes, photographs, and plays clarinet and saxophone.

Reviews

[Stephen Gallup · Rating 5 out of 5]

Because Patrick McMahon and I participated in the same critique group a few years ago, I had the good fortune of witnessing the latter stages of his book's creation. When I read it now, I can hear his voice as he read excerpts aloud to our group. At that time, my impression was that, while each sentence was well crafted, there was a tendency toward overwriting some of the scenes. But perhaps that was because the emotion in his voice added an extra dimension. It doesn't feel overwritten to me now. Granted, as a narrator (or as the former self being portrayed), he does tend to obsess over just about everything. There's a scene, for example, in which he invests a huge amount of energy into dialing a phone number when the other party isn't even there to take the call. Our group leader complained about that, but Patrick's reason for living in that mode is made clear: This is a story about feeling isolated or cut off from what is needed to feel grounded in life (primarily, knowledge of who one's parents are), and about what it takes to overcome the real and imagined obstacles to bridging the divide.

I think the book may be getting the lion's share of its support from other adoptees. It has been recommended as a roadmap for those still seeking out their origins. However, I think that (like my own memoir), it deserves to be taken as literature rather than simply as information for people focused on the subject matter. At least, it fascinates me despite my having no involvement with adoption.

Incidentally, this is the only memoir I can think of offhand that is written in present tense.

[Katherine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well-written and insightful memoir that beautifully conveys the feelings and experience of search and reunion.

[Laura Engel · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a teenage birth mother in 1967 who unwilling surrendered my firstborn son, Patrick's book touched me and helped me to understand the other side of the adoption triad. My son and I did reunite in 2016, but reading Patrick's story helped me understand much my own son had not been able to verbalize. "Becoming Patrick" is an important, powerful, and well written story. It should be read not just by adoptees but birth parents as well as adoptive parents. Reading this wonderful book will heal many as you cry for Patrick, laugh with him, and heal alongside of him. You will cheer for this amazing man. One of the most authentic books I have ever read. Thanks for sharing your journey with us Patrick!

[Paige · Rating 5 out of 5]

In his memoir, Becoming Patrick, adoptee and author, Patrick McMahon, delivers an eloquent and artistic account of his experience as a young adult coming to terms with being adopted and living in the shadows of the Baby-Scoop Era, where secrets and lies defined the practice of placing babies in new homes. This was an era of closed records, fear and shame for adoptive and birth parents, which in turn shed loss, sadness and a sense of incompleteness on the adopted children of the time.

McMahon skillfully delivers an honest and emotional account of all he felt when he acquired his initial information, experienced the first telephone conversation and attended in-person reunions with his birth family. His descriptions of settings and attention to detail immerse the reader around kitchen tables, long walks and other meet-ups while long-lost family members share photos and stories while recovering lost time.

This is an excellent read for adopted adults who can relate to the experience of searching for elusive loved ones you never knew you loved until you connected. Therapists, social workers and others wishing to explore adoption and its complex effects on adopted people will also appreciate this work.

There are very few adoptee books written from a male point of view, which adds to this book's uniqueness. Mr. McMahon's voice speaks artfully and sincerely for a population whose words long to be heard. His frank yet upbeat writing superbly represents adopted adults wishing to sort out the mysteries surrounding their origins and identity

[Maureen Flatley]

Really looking forward to this adoption memoir!

[Aubrey · Rating 5 out of 5]

It made me laugh, it made me cry, it made me poop a little

[Claire Clifford · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this book. As an adoptee who has recently discovered the whereabouts of my natural mother I found this a very useful and insightful book written by someone who has already been down that path.