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The Pyrates
A rollicking, swashbuckling, hilarious high-seas adventure. 416 pp 5 x 8
416 pages, Paperback
First published November 17, 1983
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1325 people want to read
About the author
George MacDonald Fraser
116 books690 followersGeorge MacDonald Fraser is best known for his Flashman series of historical novels, purportedly written by Harry Flashman, a fictional coward and bully originally created by Thomas Hughes in Tom Brown's School Days. The novels are presented as "packets" of memoirs written by the nonagenarian Flashman, who looks back on his days as a hero of the British Army during the 19th century. The series begins with Flashman, and is notable for the accuracy of the historical settings and praise from critics. P.G. Wodehouse said of Flashman, “If ever there was a time when I felt that ‘watcher-of-the-skies-when-a-new-planet’ stuff, it was when I read the first Flashman.”
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 141 reviews
October 28, 2018
What if piracy existed in the days of the television epoch? Then it would have been turned into a glamorous daily show.
George MacDonald Fraser turned his pirate anecdote into a pulp screenplay deriding both swashbuckling fiction and the inanity of mainstream cinema.
Modern pop culture clichés applied to the bloodthirsty but literarily romanticized era of pirates become incredibly ridiculous.
Those were the days!
One of the great things about pirate ships in the good old days was that they were purpose-built – not for cargoes of crude oil or containers or package tourists, but for knavery and conspiracy and swashbuckling and, in a word, Romance.
George MacDonald Fraser turned his pirate anecdote into a pulp screenplay deriding both swashbuckling fiction and the inanity of mainstream cinema.
Avery, in his cabin, is kipping away like an advertisement for Dunlopillo, eyes gently closed, hair neatly arranged, mouth perfectly shut and breathing through his nose. A smile plays about his mobile lips: he is dreaming of Vanity darning his socks in a rose-bowered summer-house, you'll be glad to know. Over the way Blood grunts and mutters in his sleep, one hand on the hilt of a dagger 'neath 's pillow – if you've a conscience like his you keep your hardware handy. And deep in the foetid orlop Sheba writhes restlessly on her straw, her fetters clanking dismally.
Modern pop culture clichés applied to the bloodthirsty but literarily romanticized era of pirates become incredibly ridiculous.
Those were the days!
January 20, 2009
I thought I'd paste in my Dangerous Dan review for this one. We'll see if it gets the appreciation the one for The Gun Fight got.
Dangerous Dan here, back to push you toward stories while he drinks a PBR and pretends to care about things other than women and alcohol.
One of Dangerous Dan's favorite movies as a young lad living in the back room of a whore house was The Princess Bride. When I finally learned how to read (it was before I shaved the first time but not much), I read the book and wanted more. Unfortunately, old Bill Goldman never wrote a sequel. Well, today I'll review the next best thing.
George MacDonald Fraser is best known as the writer of the Flashman Chronicles, a series of books about a rogue named Flashman who blunders his way into taking credit for all kinds of heroic deeds throughout history. In The Pyrates, Fraser takes uses the ability to make complete bastards likeable that he honed in the Flashman series to new heights.
The Pyrates features everything you like about pirate stories. It has a noble hero, a rogue you're not quite sure about, a buxom damsel in distress, vile villains, and a femme fatale that's even hotter than the heroine. Dangerous Dan's pants were definitely snug during some parts of the book.
The plot of The Pyrates is as follows. Captain Ben Avery is escorting the British crown on a sea voyage, along with Admiral Rook and his daughter Vanity. Vanity's the hot girl of the story. The ship is attacked, Vanity is kidnapped, and Avery is stranded on a sandbar. Enter Colonel Blood, the rogue of the piece and Dangerous Dan's kind of guy. He's a liar, womanizer, and cheat, and also quite handy with the sword. Avery's kind of naïve and stupid and a perfect ally for Colonel Blood. On the side of the villains are Don Lardo, a huge fat guy that's trying to steal the british crown, and his henchwoman, the lovely Sheba. She's like Catwoman to Avery's caped crusader and has provided Dangerous Dan with some interesting fantasies during dry spells.
Anyway, Colonel Blood is continually caught between wanting to do the right thing, wanting to get some from Vanity while she thinks Avery is dead, and wanting the crown jewels for himself. Like I said, Dangerous Dan's kind of guy except that he didn't take advantage of Vanity while she was asleep.
Aside from the dialogue and the sight gags, one of the funniest thing about The Pyrates are all the sly references to modern culture, again, just like the Princess Bride.
The writing is snappy and the dialogue is clever, much like that of the Princess Bride. If you liked the Princess Bride, you'll like this. If you didn't, Dangerous Dan is coming to your house in the dead of night with a roll of duct tape, a jar of Vaseline, and three large cucumbers.
Dangerous Dan here, back to push you toward stories while he drinks a PBR and pretends to care about things other than women and alcohol.
One of Dangerous Dan's favorite movies as a young lad living in the back room of a whore house was The Princess Bride. When I finally learned how to read (it was before I shaved the first time but not much), I read the book and wanted more. Unfortunately, old Bill Goldman never wrote a sequel. Well, today I'll review the next best thing.
George MacDonald Fraser is best known as the writer of the Flashman Chronicles, a series of books about a rogue named Flashman who blunders his way into taking credit for all kinds of heroic deeds throughout history. In The Pyrates, Fraser takes uses the ability to make complete bastards likeable that he honed in the Flashman series to new heights.
The Pyrates features everything you like about pirate stories. It has a noble hero, a rogue you're not quite sure about, a buxom damsel in distress, vile villains, and a femme fatale that's even hotter than the heroine. Dangerous Dan's pants were definitely snug during some parts of the book.
The plot of The Pyrates is as follows. Captain Ben Avery is escorting the British crown on a sea voyage, along with Admiral Rook and his daughter Vanity. Vanity's the hot girl of the story. The ship is attacked, Vanity is kidnapped, and Avery is stranded on a sandbar. Enter Colonel Blood, the rogue of the piece and Dangerous Dan's kind of guy. He's a liar, womanizer, and cheat, and also quite handy with the sword. Avery's kind of naïve and stupid and a perfect ally for Colonel Blood. On the side of the villains are Don Lardo, a huge fat guy that's trying to steal the british crown, and his henchwoman, the lovely Sheba. She's like Catwoman to Avery's caped crusader and has provided Dangerous Dan with some interesting fantasies during dry spells.
Anyway, Colonel Blood is continually caught between wanting to do the right thing, wanting to get some from Vanity while she thinks Avery is dead, and wanting the crown jewels for himself. Like I said, Dangerous Dan's kind of guy except that he didn't take advantage of Vanity while she was asleep.
Aside from the dialogue and the sight gags, one of the funniest thing about The Pyrates are all the sly references to modern culture, again, just like the Princess Bride.
The writing is snappy and the dialogue is clever, much like that of the Princess Bride. If you liked the Princess Bride, you'll like this. If you didn't, Dangerous Dan is coming to your house in the dead of night with a roll of duct tape, a jar of Vaseline, and three large cucumbers.
October 21, 2020
If swashbuckling is your thing, this is the book for you. Buckles swash all over the place, swinging from the rigging, swordfighting in dank dungeons, cutting a path through everyone standing in the way, and romancing gorgeous (occasionally homicidal) women. And then there’s plunder, sea battles, and gold doubloons aplenty. Ya’ar matey, sail ho!
This is George MacDonald Fraser, best known as the author of the comic Flashman novels, whose titular hero is a rogue, a bully, a coward, and just about everything else that an anti-hero can be. He is cunning but not very bright, and the humor in the books comes from watching him blunder into one outrageous misadventure after another, always escaping by the skin of his teeth, and somehow getting credited with all sorts of (unearned) heroic deeds.
My introduction to Fraser, however, came from a different direction entirely. He wrote one of the great memoirs of World War II, Quartered Safe Out Here (q.v.), recounting his experiences as a teenage infantryman in Burma during the last year of the war. The book brilliantly describes his fellow soldiers, endless marches plagued by heat, monsoons, and malarial vermin, and desperate fighting against Japanese who knew they were going to lose the war but were ready to die to the last man anyway. Few authors do as good a job as Fraser making readers feel what it was like to be there in the thick of things.
Pyrates is much more along the lines of the Flashman books, although it amps up the silliness to a degree that it reads like a 400 page Monty Python sketch. The author breaks from the story to talk to the reader about the characters and what he is planning to do next, and he never met an anachronism he didn’t fully embrace, so that even though the book is set in the 1670s, in the reign of Charles II, it is full of references to 20th century movie pirates such as Basil Rathbone and Errol Flynn. Sometimes it seems more like a screenplay than a novel, with the anachronisms as stage directions, and Fraser was in fact a Hollywood screenwriter in addition to being a novelist, most famously Force 10 from Navarone and the James Bond film Octopussy. In Pyrates even the characters sometimes know they are in a book, as in “I am the hero, and my survival is essential. You don’t suppose you can stab me in the back on page 115, surely? The ludicrous notion!”
So, is there a plot at all? Surprisingly, yes. A book like this could easily have gone off the rails into an endless series of one-liners and throw-away jokes, but Fraser has tightly plotted every scene. There is method in his madness and discipline in his silliness. Multiple plot lines develop as heroes and villains stumble from one outrageous situation to another, and then everything comes together at the end in a silly but satisfying conclusion. There is the intrepid hero and a Flashman-like rogue who can sometimes behave honorably, half a dozen pirate captains based more or less on historical figures, cannibals, evil Spaniards for the plot to act against, and not one, or two, but three beautiful women to fall in love with the hero. One of the most interesting characters is a conniving Cockney pawnbroker who is smarter than the rest of the cast put together.
In today’s world this book would never see the light of day in its present form. For one thing, it is about a hundred pages too long; you can only sustain that level of madcap action for so long before the reader’s attention starts to wander. It also plays on stereotypes that would be out of bounds today, such as calling the black female pirate Sheba. The good guys speak impeccable Oxford English, and in one case the hero interrupts the rogue to remind him that ‘octopus’ is from Greek, not Latin, and thus the plural is not ‘octopi.’ The rest of the cast uses Hollywood pirate-speak or pigden English. Even when really funny the reader suspects publishers would consider it inappropriate for today’s sensibilities, as when the heroine, the rogue, and a mad gardener meet a squad of Spanish soldiers. Their corporal demands to see her passport (why not?, even though passports did not come into general use until the 20th century), and when she doesn’t have one – she has, after all, been kidnapped – he says
The Spaniards all talk like this, and when reading their lines I found that I automatically put them into the voice of John Cleese (“Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries”) from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. In any case, the book was published in 1983 and in this bit of dialog perhaps Fraser was reflecting some uneasiness about the European Union’s proposed open borders laws.
If you liked Flashman’s adventures you will probably love Pyrates. Fraser can string together madcap shenanigans till the reader can’t help but laugh. And so, if you’re up for it, avast mateys, hoist the Jolly Roger, and sail with Captain Calico Jack and his murderous but merry buccaneers for the Spanish Main, where the treasure galleons are just waiting to be plundered. Ya’ar.
This is George MacDonald Fraser, best known as the author of the comic Flashman novels, whose titular hero is a rogue, a bully, a coward, and just about everything else that an anti-hero can be. He is cunning but not very bright, and the humor in the books comes from watching him blunder into one outrageous misadventure after another, always escaping by the skin of his teeth, and somehow getting credited with all sorts of (unearned) heroic deeds.
My introduction to Fraser, however, came from a different direction entirely. He wrote one of the great memoirs of World War II, Quartered Safe Out Here (q.v.), recounting his experiences as a teenage infantryman in Burma during the last year of the war. The book brilliantly describes his fellow soldiers, endless marches plagued by heat, monsoons, and malarial vermin, and desperate fighting against Japanese who knew they were going to lose the war but were ready to die to the last man anyway. Few authors do as good a job as Fraser making readers feel what it was like to be there in the thick of things.
Pyrates is much more along the lines of the Flashman books, although it amps up the silliness to a degree that it reads like a 400 page Monty Python sketch. The author breaks from the story to talk to the reader about the characters and what he is planning to do next, and he never met an anachronism he didn’t fully embrace, so that even though the book is set in the 1670s, in the reign of Charles II, it is full of references to 20th century movie pirates such as Basil Rathbone and Errol Flynn. Sometimes it seems more like a screenplay than a novel, with the anachronisms as stage directions, and Fraser was in fact a Hollywood screenwriter in addition to being a novelist, most famously Force 10 from Navarone and the James Bond film Octopussy. In Pyrates even the characters sometimes know they are in a book, as in “I am the hero, and my survival is essential. You don’t suppose you can stab me in the back on page 115, surely? The ludicrous notion!”
So, is there a plot at all? Surprisingly, yes. A book like this could easily have gone off the rails into an endless series of one-liners and throw-away jokes, but Fraser has tightly plotted every scene. There is method in his madness and discipline in his silliness. Multiple plot lines develop as heroes and villains stumble from one outrageous situation to another, and then everything comes together at the end in a silly but satisfying conclusion. There is the intrepid hero and a Flashman-like rogue who can sometimes behave honorably, half a dozen pirate captains based more or less on historical figures, cannibals, evil Spaniards for the plot to act against, and not one, or two, but three beautiful women to fall in love with the hero. One of the most interesting characters is a conniving Cockney pawnbroker who is smarter than the rest of the cast put together.
In today’s world this book would never see the light of day in its present form. For one thing, it is about a hundred pages too long; you can only sustain that level of madcap action for so long before the reader’s attention starts to wander. It also plays on stereotypes that would be out of bounds today, such as calling the black female pirate Sheba. The good guys speak impeccable Oxford English, and in one case the hero interrupts the rogue to remind him that ‘octopus’ is from Greek, not Latin, and thus the plural is not ‘octopi.’ The rest of the cast uses Hollywood pirate-speak or pigden English. Even when really funny the reader suspects publishers would consider it inappropriate for today’s sensibilities, as when the heroine, the rogue, and a mad gardener meet a squad of Spanish soldiers. Their corporal demands to see her passport (why not?, even though passports did not come into general use until the 20th century), and when she doesn’t have one – she has, after all, been kidnapped – he says
Ha, I know-a-yoor sort! You Eengleesh, you try-a to sneak-a into our country, try to take-a jobs from honest Spaneesh workeeng-pipple – like-a he wan’s to be a cabbage-lan’scaper, the old-a bum, an’ thee dame wan’s to be a topless waitress, mebbe, an’ you, wit’ your clarkie [Gable] moustache an’ your ‘Pliz’, you want-a to set up as peemps, I bet! You theenk,” he roared indignantly, “we don’t got cabbage-lan’scapers and topless waitresses an’ peemps of our own, who need-a the work, huh?
The Spaniards all talk like this, and when reading their lines I found that I automatically put them into the voice of John Cleese (“Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries”) from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. In any case, the book was published in 1983 and in this bit of dialog perhaps Fraser was reflecting some uneasiness about the European Union’s proposed open borders laws.
If you liked Flashman’s adventures you will probably love Pyrates. Fraser can string together madcap shenanigans till the reader can’t help but laugh. And so, if you’re up for it, avast mateys, hoist the Jolly Roger, and sail with Captain Calico Jack and his murderous but merry buccaneers for the Spanish Main, where the treasure galleons are just waiting to be plundered. Ya’ar.
June 22, 2008
I have the sense I should like this book more. Maybe its because its about pirates and naval warfare (maybe naval hijinks is a better description), loving Forester and O'Brian as I do. Maybe its because Dirda put it in as number 3 on his list of top 100 comic novels. Maybe its the manic energy which the author brings to every page, he is obviously working very hard, has the conventions down, the language, making references (which I got about two out of every three - that foreigness of the shared language with the English). But the end result is that it just feels so full and forced. I smiled at it, maybe every page, but I also got tired reading it, kept peeking at the end, and never really came to care about the characters, who are not characters but figurines in his ridiculous (a good point for a comic novel) and elaborate plot. I suppose I also found the constant stream of anachronisms more disconcerting than funny. Maybe I will return to it again and like it more - it did not fare well against my recent reading of Helprin's Freddy & Fredericka which gave me many long and sustained laughs.
April 1, 2020
Nearly 400 pages of anarchic pirate silliness - but it stayed alive for me on the strength of Fraser's command of the story - the "tuppenny bloods and boys annuals", the historical novels of Rafael Sabatini, the movies of Fairbanks, Rathbone and Errol Flynn and other epics from the thirties and forties - all of this is baked into Fraser's DNA as a writer, and here it all is, synthesized into one giant, funny and brilliant yarn.
I think of it essentially as a tribute to the stories, movies, characters and actors that he must have loved as a boy, and it is through that lense that I can appreciate it - because while I can't say that I cared much for pirates as a kid - I mean, not with the passion clearly evidenced here by Fraser - but I do know what it's like to reach a certain age when older and feel a yearning for the movies and stories that first struck me when much younger - that first sparked my imagination and sense of wonder. I could palpably feel that "abiding sense of affection", as Fraser notes in an appendix of influential source material at the back of the book, coursing through the novel. And you may lay to that!
I think of it essentially as a tribute to the stories, movies, characters and actors that he must have loved as a boy, and it is through that lense that I can appreciate it - because while I can't say that I cared much for pirates as a kid - I mean, not with the passion clearly evidenced here by Fraser - but I do know what it's like to reach a certain age when older and feel a yearning for the movies and stories that first struck me when much younger - that first sparked my imagination and sense of wonder. I could palpably feel that "abiding sense of affection", as Fraser notes in an appendix of influential source material at the back of the book, coursing through the novel. And you may lay to that!
December 6, 2024
Lots of really good writing and pirate adventure and scenery, and comedy, of course... but it's just TOO silly - way too much of a farce. It's at its best when Fraser is showing even a modicum of restraint.
It also has quite a bit of (farcical) padding and could've benefitted from being a hundred pages shorter. The racial aspects are... uncomfortable (I get that it's a deliberately irreverent send-up of early Hollywood adventure movies including all their problematic aspects, but that doesn't really ease the slurs and egregious portrayals). Even though really, nobody comes off worse than the Spanish...
I would've loved to see Fraser write a serious or even semi-serious pirate adventure. The book shows such promise but keeps jolting itself back into inanity. Regardless, it's a fun, stupid time to be had, and it's also nice to see an author just have fun with a novel without taking anything seriously. It's also a shame, though, because pirate adventure books are so thin on the ground.
3.5
It also has quite a bit of (farcical) padding and could've benefitted from being a hundred pages shorter. The racial aspects are... uncomfortable (I get that it's a deliberately irreverent send-up of early Hollywood adventure movies including all their problematic aspects, but that doesn't really ease the slurs and egregious portrayals). Even though really, nobody comes off worse than the Spanish...
I would've loved to see Fraser write a serious or even semi-serious pirate adventure. The book shows such promise but keeps jolting itself back into inanity. Regardless, it's a fun, stupid time to be had, and it's also nice to see an author just have fun with a novel without taking anything seriously. It's also a shame, though, because pirate adventure books are so thin on the ground.
3.5
November 11, 2018
I had previously read several books from the Flashman series, and knew that George MacDonald Fraser had a real knack for comedy. What I didn't realize before reading the bio in The Pyrates was that he wrote the screenplays for a number of successful films (including the James Bond film "Octopussy".
That cinematic experience is front and center in this hilarious take-off on pirate stories. The Pyrates offers fabulous characters, wonderful descriptions, and a very funny style. What you might not realize until the end, though, is that it draws its inspiration for many of the characters from actual historical figures.
Very entertaining. I didn't give it five stars simply because it's tough to maintain this level of over-the-top parody for such a long book. After a while the jokes, funny as they were, just did not have the same impact.
That cinematic experience is front and center in this hilarious take-off on pirate stories. The Pyrates offers fabulous characters, wonderful descriptions, and a very funny style. What you might not realize until the end, though, is that it draws its inspiration for many of the characters from actual historical figures.
Very entertaining. I didn't give it five stars simply because it's tough to maintain this level of over-the-top parody for such a long book. After a while the jokes, funny as they were, just did not have the same impact.
August 4, 2025
2.5 stars for this one mainly because trying to decipher the dialogue was draining and I was irritated by the time I was halfway through the book. The long paragraphs and sentences also didn’t do it any favors, HOWEVER, there was a not insubstantial amount of humour and ridiculousness which somewhat saved it.
I’m not sure who I’d recommend this to but anyone who wants a bit of adventure in reading should give this a go.
I’m not sure who I’d recommend this to but anyone who wants a bit of adventure in reading should give this a go.
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January 5, 2021fundamentally there are just 2 jokes here -- anachronism and 4th-wall-breaking -- but both are done beautifully. ("it fell off a sedan chair" as excuse for being in receipt of a stolen jewel was a personal fave.) come to think of it, coulda stood to be a little more anachronistic in referring to the non-anglo-saxon peoples of the world (d*goes? really dude?) but this kinda approach of picking & choosing from sentence to sentence where to be historically accurate suggests all sorts of comic possibilities. more in this vein in the future pls (wi' a wannion!)
February 19, 2018
Just re-reading this.
I had forgotten how funny it is in places. You probably need to have sat through all those old movies with the likes of Errol Flynn to get all the jokes, but even without, there are still moments to savour.
It is a glorious send up of every bodice ripping, sword waving, buckle squashing, avast me hearties story you have ever seen or read.
"You can't kill me, I'm the hero and it's only page 111."
"You might not be the hero."
"Don't be ridiculous."
I had forgotten how funny it is in places. You probably need to have sat through all those old movies with the likes of Errol Flynn to get all the jokes, but even without, there are still moments to savour.
It is a glorious send up of every bodice ripping, sword waving, buckle squashing, avast me hearties story you have ever seen or read.
"You can't kill me, I'm the hero and it's only page 111."
"You might not be the hero."
"Don't be ridiculous."
December 1, 2024
If it had been about 100 pages shorter, I would have given this a higher rating. There's only so much swashbuckling hi-jinks I can take, though, particularly when the author clearly finds his own jokes so funny. It was fun, and had some interesting fourth wall breaking silliness, but ultimately it didn't reach Flashman levels for me. Also, some lingering discomfort in the treatment of female characters did leave a bit of a sour taste in my mouth.
June 5, 2011
Funny, action-packed, and (unlike the Flashman novels) appropriate for young readers as well as old, "Pyrates" is a sort of paean to the pirate stories and movies that captivated GMF as a young man. It's wonderful, and it makes me mourn Fraser all the more. He will be missed.
February 2, 2021
I love Fraser's Flashman books, but this one was a bit disappointment for me.
It was basically a totally cheesy sketch, for a Mel Brooks-like comedy (as I know he indeed intented to write it as a movie sketch).
It was flat and bit too cartoonish for my taste when it comes to novels.
It was basically a totally cheesy sketch, for a Mel Brooks-like comedy (as I know he indeed intented to write it as a movie sketch).
It was flat and bit too cartoonish for my taste when it comes to novels.
July 20, 2023
Magnificently meta and in every way brilliant. This is one of the funniest books I've read and yet the characters are, despite their deliberate caricature, well-formed and compelling.
In the hand of a lesser writer it would descend into farce but Fraser deftly threads that needle.
In the hand of a lesser writer it would descend into farce but Fraser deftly threads that needle.
August 16, 2017
Not for me!
June 10, 2018
I'd say Fraser had a lot more fun writing this book than I had reading it.
August 29, 2019
A romp through pirate trope. Satire of the old pirate swashbuckling movies.
August 3, 2025
Shiver me timbers and stop calling me an absolute anchor. George MacDonald Fraser delivers in this rip-roaring adventure about pirates and the such like.
There are only two bad points on an otherwise outstanding novel, namely; the old-worldy language it uses, and the fact that everyone in my book club hated it.
Riddle me that Polly Want A Cracker.
There are only two bad points on an otherwise outstanding novel, namely; the old-worldy language it uses, and the fact that everyone in my book club hated it.
Riddle me that Polly Want A Cracker.
November 30, 2020
Clearly a huge influence on the pirates of the Caribbean films. It should be better known
April 7, 2017
I really enjoyed this novel by George MacDonald Fraser, a noted historical novelist and Hollywood screenwriter. Best known for his comedic "Flashman" series about an anti-hero's exploits in the Victorian era, "The Pyrates" could be described as "Blazing Saddles" meets "Pirates of the Caribbean". But the only supernatural going in "The Pyrates" is the super heroic-ness of the lead protagonist, Long Ben Avery, Captain, Royal Navy. The impression he leaves after an early meeting with King Charles says it all:
"Their lordships, captain," the king went on, lying courteously, "have given me golden reports of you. Now tell me how old are you, and what service he have seen."
"Your majesty," said Captain Avery respectfully, "is gracious. I am 22 years old, and have had the honor to serve your majesty these five years. Lately I commanded one of your majesty's warships, and have fought 'against the Dutch, the French, the Spaniards, and the corsairs of Barbary, having the good fortune to take ten prizes and two fortresses, as well," he added dismissively, "as three wounds. I am a bachelor of arts at Oxford, where I made some study of Mathematicks, Physicks, and the other Natural Sciences, tho' less than I could have wished. If my service permits, I hope to repair that and take my Master's Degree in time. Other than that," he concluded, "there is little to tell."
... They watched him go away in stunned silence, until his majesty murmured, almost in awe: "Well, God help the Indies pirates!" and sighed.
"That fellow," said the King in wonder, "is just a walking mass of virtue and genius. Rot me," he added, "if he isn't. Well, thank God he's going to the Indies, for if he stayed here he'd make us feel mightily inferior."
Fraser fills out an impressive cast to make the story interesting for Avery, most characters actually found in history though reinvented to an extent for this tale: the coastal brotherhood of buccaneers who include Calico Jack Rackham, Firebeard, Black Sheba the pirate queen, Bilbo who is inspired by Basil Rathbone and Captain Hook, Happy Dan Pew, and others; Irish rogue Colonel Tom Blood, notorious for having mad off with the Crown Jewels for a short time; the love interest Vanity Rooke, the Admiral's daughter who curls the toes of the pure Avery.
Fraser's mastery of the English language is on display in this story ready made for film, and it had me chuckling all the way through. Published in 1983 and about 20 years before Captain Jack Sparrow memorably sets sail on the big screen, if you enjoy Johnny Depp's outings, then I think you will find much to like in "The Pyrates".
"Their lordships, captain," the king went on, lying courteously, "have given me golden reports of you. Now tell me how old are you, and what service he have seen."
"Your majesty," said Captain Avery respectfully, "is gracious. I am 22 years old, and have had the honor to serve your majesty these five years. Lately I commanded one of your majesty's warships, and have fought 'against the Dutch, the French, the Spaniards, and the corsairs of Barbary, having the good fortune to take ten prizes and two fortresses, as well," he added dismissively, "as three wounds. I am a bachelor of arts at Oxford, where I made some study of Mathematicks, Physicks, and the other Natural Sciences, tho' less than I could have wished. If my service permits, I hope to repair that and take my Master's Degree in time. Other than that," he concluded, "there is little to tell."
... They watched him go away in stunned silence, until his majesty murmured, almost in awe: "Well, God help the Indies pirates!" and sighed.
"That fellow," said the King in wonder, "is just a walking mass of virtue and genius. Rot me," he added, "if he isn't. Well, thank God he's going to the Indies, for if he stayed here he'd make us feel mightily inferior."
Fraser fills out an impressive cast to make the story interesting for Avery, most characters actually found in history though reinvented to an extent for this tale: the coastal brotherhood of buccaneers who include Calico Jack Rackham, Firebeard, Black Sheba the pirate queen, Bilbo who is inspired by Basil Rathbone and Captain Hook, Happy Dan Pew, and others; Irish rogue Colonel Tom Blood, notorious for having mad off with the Crown Jewels for a short time; the love interest Vanity Rooke, the Admiral's daughter who curls the toes of the pure Avery.
Fraser's mastery of the English language is on display in this story ready made for film, and it had me chuckling all the way through. Published in 1983 and about 20 years before Captain Jack Sparrow memorably sets sail on the big screen, if you enjoy Johnny Depp's outings, then I think you will find much to like in "The Pyrates".
March 1, 2021
Five stars but with a warning: The book is brilliant but very dated - which seems odd for a historical romance.
The book is a parody of and homage to the great Hollywood pirate movies like The Crimson Pirate, Sea Hawks, Captain Blood, The Black Swan etc. and in this it puts Pirates Of The Caribbean to shame. (If you watch these movies you will see clearly where POTC got its inspiration, some of its scenes are lifted direct from these originals.) Tropes are pushed to the limit - all the stock characters are there and all turned up to 11 - the plot twists like a giant octopus OD'd on high grade drinking chocolate, victory is snatched from the jaws of defeat (and nearly as often defeat from the jaws of victory) and escapes are hair's breadth or closer. A ripping yarn that rips along at breakneck pace, interrupted only by the reader's belly laughs, chuckles or groans. And as a bonus, scattered amongst this madcappery there are little snippets of improbable yet true history.
The down side is that it is so dated it can be difficult to read for many. Written in the early 80s the pop culture references hark back to the 60s and 70s and some I expect earlier than that. As an example, a madman is described as being Harpic (a proprietary drain cleaner with the slogan "clean round the bend") (groan!). I'm sure the term was in vogue in 20th century England but might not be immediately grasped by 21st century readers. Unless you have some familiarity with this era you may find your reading interrupted by the need to look up references on line. Be warned also that sexist and racist terms abound (although with no underlying sexism or racism), it is a good natured product of its time.
I have an advantage that I recall, however vaguely, seeing many of the Hollywood pirate epics as a child. For me any such issues vanished and I was carried along by the excitement and colour of the story. Now to search out those old movies and re-watch!
The book is a parody of and homage to the great Hollywood pirate movies like The Crimson Pirate, Sea Hawks, Captain Blood, The Black Swan etc. and in this it puts Pirates Of The Caribbean to shame. (If you watch these movies you will see clearly where POTC got its inspiration, some of its scenes are lifted direct from these originals.) Tropes are pushed to the limit - all the stock characters are there and all turned up to 11 - the plot twists like a giant octopus OD'd on high grade drinking chocolate, victory is snatched from the jaws of defeat (and nearly as often defeat from the jaws of victory) and escapes are hair's breadth or closer. A ripping yarn that rips along at breakneck pace, interrupted only by the reader's belly laughs, chuckles or groans. And as a bonus, scattered amongst this madcappery there are little snippets of improbable yet true history.
The down side is that it is so dated it can be difficult to read for many. Written in the early 80s the pop culture references hark back to the 60s and 70s and some I expect earlier than that. As an example, a madman is described as being Harpic (a proprietary drain cleaner with the slogan "clean round the bend") (groan!). I'm sure the term was in vogue in 20th century England but might not be immediately grasped by 21st century readers. Unless you have some familiarity with this era you may find your reading interrupted by the need to look up references on line. Be warned also that sexist and racist terms abound (although with no underlying sexism or racism), it is a good natured product of its time.
I have an advantage that I recall, however vaguely, seeing many of the Hollywood pirate epics as a child. For me any such issues vanished and I was carried along by the excitement and colour of the story. Now to search out those old movies and re-watch!
October 12, 2015
I loathe political correctness. I will never use the term “Native Americans” to refer to Indians (who are “First Ones Here Americans” at best) or “Asians” to refer to the Chinese, Japanese or Koreans (are Afghanis, Iranians and Pakistanis not from Asia too?). Nor do I believe that every religion – especially not those homicidal, homophobic or misogynistic religions – deserves our respect. And I will still watch Blazing Saddles every chance I get.
But this book goes too far. Written in 1983, it is reflective of a past world in which Obama could never have been elected, gays and women could still be safely punched in the face for acting out and the melatonin rich were best seen and not heard. It is full of completely offensive racial, ethnic, religious and sexist stereotypes, used in jest yes, but with an ugly edge that keeps building up like dead insects on your windshield while driving through Ohio in August. That it is written by a white Englishman makes it all the worse since bigoted white Englishmen are the most insufferable of bigots in history.
All this is a shame since the premise for the story has great potential. Take every ridiculous Hollywood pirate movie plot, add in some really funny anachronistic references to Cartier, Gucci and Ralph Lauren, and mix it all together with plenty of characters crazy enough to qualify for their own Tarantino vehicles, and you have some idea of how entertaining this all might be. Unfortunately, the story is liberally peppered with crude epithets and sour characterizations based upon every immutable human characteristic not shared with the descendants of the Mayflower. You need to be really funny to have any hope to pull this sort of stuff off and this story is just not that funny.
Not recommended, not even for Donald Trump.
But this book goes too far. Written in 1983, it is reflective of a past world in which Obama could never have been elected, gays and women could still be safely punched in the face for acting out and the melatonin rich were best seen and not heard. It is full of completely offensive racial, ethnic, religious and sexist stereotypes, used in jest yes, but with an ugly edge that keeps building up like dead insects on your windshield while driving through Ohio in August. That it is written by a white Englishman makes it all the worse since bigoted white Englishmen are the most insufferable of bigots in history.
All this is a shame since the premise for the story has great potential. Take every ridiculous Hollywood pirate movie plot, add in some really funny anachronistic references to Cartier, Gucci and Ralph Lauren, and mix it all together with plenty of characters crazy enough to qualify for their own Tarantino vehicles, and you have some idea of how entertaining this all might be. Unfortunately, the story is liberally peppered with crude epithets and sour characterizations based upon every immutable human characteristic not shared with the descendants of the Mayflower. You need to be really funny to have any hope to pull this sort of stuff off and this story is just not that funny.
Not recommended, not even for Donald Trump.
June 16, 2025
This book jokes a lot about being pg. Like any other comedy, it doesn't really take its subject matter seriously. In other words, too crass for my taste.
February 18, 2015
f you're looking for an historical novel, accurately depicting 17th Century piracy, then "The Pyrates" by Flashman creator, George MacDonald Fraser (GMF), is not for you.
"The Pyrates" is a swashbuckling farce. It's as if GMF wrote a book about a pirate movie instead of any real, or imagined adventure. The characters are mere caricatures and the story is chock-full of anachronisms. All this was deliberate, to either entertain the reader or defy historical novel writing conventions.
Probably both.
I'm a fan of GMF's Flashman series and I found "The Pyrates" entertaining, but a bit annoying at the same time, primarily due to the anachronisms I just mentioned. In the parts where the author is addressing the reader, I thought this technique was funny and refreshing: Such as using 20th Century movie stars to describe the characters and fight scenes in cinematic, choreographic terms. But I found it jarring when things, such as: Credit cards, headphones, outboard motors and condo time-shares are placed in the action itself, or the characters mention such items outside their time-frame.
In short, I feel GMF overdid the anachronism schtick.
I must admit though, a lot of my feelings about the book are based on my bias. While I like a good comedic movie, I'm not a huge fan of spoofs and "The Pyrates" would certainly fall into this category if it were ever made into a film. To me, spoofs are "one trick ponies." You watch, you laugh, you never view it again--unless it was produced by Monty Python or Mel Brooks (exceptions to the rule and all that).
"The Pyrates" is a swashbuckling farce. It's as if GMF wrote a book about a pirate movie instead of any real, or imagined adventure. The characters are mere caricatures and the story is chock-full of anachronisms. All this was deliberate, to either entertain the reader or defy historical novel writing conventions.
Probably both.
I'm a fan of GMF's Flashman series and I found "The Pyrates" entertaining, but a bit annoying at the same time, primarily due to the anachronisms I just mentioned. In the parts where the author is addressing the reader, I thought this technique was funny and refreshing: Such as using 20th Century movie stars to describe the characters and fight scenes in cinematic, choreographic terms. But I found it jarring when things, such as: Credit cards, headphones, outboard motors and condo time-shares are placed in the action itself, or the characters mention such items outside their time-frame.
In short, I feel GMF overdid the anachronism schtick.
I must admit though, a lot of my feelings about the book are based on my bias. While I like a good comedic movie, I'm not a huge fan of spoofs and "The Pyrates" would certainly fall into this category if it were ever made into a film. To me, spoofs are "one trick ponies." You watch, you laugh, you never view it again--unless it was produced by Monty Python or Mel Brooks (exceptions to the rule and all that).
February 25, 2019
A fun take on classic cliches. Reminds me of an adult novel version of the cartoon, “Dave the Barbarian”.
I have to admit, it takes a while to get used to the writing style of this book. There are a lot of heavy words, new vocabulary, and not to mention that the book starts off with a terribly long run-on sentence (I tried reading this book twice before actually pushing through with it and getting past the first few pages). But overall, once you get used to it, it’s an enjoyable tale and a funny one at that.
All the characters are quite lovable (from Black Sheba to Ben Avery to Meliflua and even Don Lardo) and quite ridiculous at that. The twists and turns of the this book could only have been dreamt up by a master writer as Fraser is (a scriptwriter and history enthusiast that he is). At one point everything gets kind of tedious and that’s why I rates it only a 3. I wouldn’t be surprised if other people rated it a 5. Perhaps if I was more into seafaring adventures.
Perhaps my only contention with this book is the ending. It seemed rather jarring. I want to know what happens with Black Sheba and Meliflua and the dilemma with the Madagascar crown was never fully resolved (or delivered). Perhaps Fraser thought his book ran on long enough? Either way, I got goosebumps at the ending and that’s always a good sign.
Very whimsical book, and I definitely respect the author for all the research and wit that was put into it.
I have to admit, it takes a while to get used to the writing style of this book. There are a lot of heavy words, new vocabulary, and not to mention that the book starts off with a terribly long run-on sentence (I tried reading this book twice before actually pushing through with it and getting past the first few pages). But overall, once you get used to it, it’s an enjoyable tale and a funny one at that.
All the characters are quite lovable (from Black Sheba to Ben Avery to Meliflua and even Don Lardo) and quite ridiculous at that. The twists and turns of the this book could only have been dreamt up by a master writer as Fraser is (a scriptwriter and history enthusiast that he is). At one point everything gets kind of tedious and that’s why I rates it only a 3. I wouldn’t be surprised if other people rated it a 5. Perhaps if I was more into seafaring adventures.
Perhaps my only contention with this book is the ending. It seemed rather jarring. I want to know what happens with Black Sheba and Meliflua and the dilemma with the Madagascar crown was never fully resolved (or delivered). Perhaps Fraser thought his book ran on long enough? Either way, I got goosebumps at the ending and that’s always a good sign.
Very whimsical book, and I definitely respect the author for all the research and wit that was put into it.
May 11, 2016
A saucy, piratical romp 'cross the 1680's Atlantic, awash with derring-do doers, scandalous scandalizers, eeking maidens-in-distress, and more preposterous anachronisms than you can shake an electric rapier at. It follows the cleft-jawed hero Ben Avery, the smarmy anti-hero Tom Blood, and a bucketload of archetypal buccaneers, as they fight, plot, sneak, loot, and pillage their way from Madagascar to the Caribbean. There's a boisterous plot here, replete with clashing swords, naval battles, buried treasure, captures and rescues, marooned sailors, the recovery of a bejewelled crown, and reversals upon reversals of fortune. But it's all for the purpose of whipping up the most daredeviltry and humor that can be extracted from the school of Sabbatini adventure. Pure parody, pure pulp, and pure puckish fun.
It's almost churlish to say anything negative about such a light-hearted enterprise, particularly when it's written so surprisingly well and with such infectious ebullience. It's not to be taken seriously, other than as an excellent entertainment. But there's always a line between parodying sexism and racism and actually becoming those things. In 1983, when this was written, it was plainly parody; in 2016, it's not so clear.
It's almost churlish to say anything negative about such a light-hearted enterprise, particularly when it's written so surprisingly well and with such infectious ebullience. It's not to be taken seriously, other than as an excellent entertainment. But there's always a line between parodying sexism and racism and actually becoming those things. In 1983, when this was written, it was plainly parody; in 2016, it's not so clear.
March 11, 2014
Very much in the vein of The Reavers by the same author (which I seem to remember enjoying more, but apparently only have two stars), The Pyrates is an unashamedly historically inaccurate and totally fictional account of a rollicking adventure on the High Seas. It thumbs its nose at revisionist historians and revels in anachronisms.
While the plot of the book is nothing to really get excited about, and the characters are somewhat amusing portrayals of various stereotypes, where this pastiche really comes into its own is through the author's prose, which while it can take a bit of getting used to is definitely worth the read. MacDonald Fraser here excels in the contrasting semi-authentic period writing with odd modern touches which add to the ridiculous and are definitely worth a few guffaw out loud points through the book, and more chuckles.
A good read for people who enjoy the written word, adventure, pirates and have plenty of tolerance for more tongue in cheek than you can shake a stick at.
While the plot of the book is nothing to really get excited about, and the characters are somewhat amusing portrayals of various stereotypes, where this pastiche really comes into its own is through the author's prose, which while it can take a bit of getting used to is definitely worth the read. MacDonald Fraser here excels in the contrasting semi-authentic period writing with odd modern touches which add to the ridiculous and are definitely worth a few guffaw out loud points through the book, and more chuckles.
A good read for people who enjoy the written word, adventure, pirates and have plenty of tolerance for more tongue in cheek than you can shake a stick at.
January 24, 2008
I enjoyed this a lot. It is kind of manic, intentionally, and that can take just a little getting used to. The author says in the afterword that he had seen all the old pirate movies, read all the old 'Boy's Own' pirate stories and wanted to spoof them all.
He cheerfully mixes in historical facts with deliberate anachronisms and unlikely plot elements to make for some laugh-out-loud reading. This has about every pirate motif I could think of: sword fights, plank walking (with one of the pirates pointing out they never actually did that), kidnappings, sea battles, a lost city in the central American jungle, buried treasure, more sword fights, a flawless hero (who is too good to be true) etc etc.
The hero is frequently helped and hindered by another character who reminded me a LOT of Jack Sparrow (this book predates the movies). The character is one Colonel Blood who is actually based quite closely on a real person (and that is is real name too).
So, a good read if you don't want anything too serious. It gets a bit racy in places, but nowhere near porn. And it is fun.
He cheerfully mixes in historical facts with deliberate anachronisms and unlikely plot elements to make for some laugh-out-loud reading. This has about every pirate motif I could think of: sword fights, plank walking (with one of the pirates pointing out they never actually did that), kidnappings, sea battles, a lost city in the central American jungle, buried treasure, more sword fights, a flawless hero (who is too good to be true) etc etc.
The hero is frequently helped and hindered by another character who reminded me a LOT of Jack Sparrow (this book predates the movies). The character is one Colonel Blood who is actually based quite closely on a real person (and that is is real name too).
So, a good read if you don't want anything too serious. It gets a bit racy in places, but nowhere near porn. And it is fun.
August 11, 2021
A fun, tongue-in-cheek, pirate-adventure romp that still works in spite of sensibilities and references that have not aged particularly well.
I kept wondering how this story would have looked as a chapter in the "Pirates of the Caribbean" franchise. Other than lacking any overt supernatural elements, the humor and the somewhat self-knowing and self-mocking attitude seem to fit. The two lead character, Ben Avery and Thomas Blood, could almost be stand-ins for serious Will Turner and roguish Jack Sparrow. Although I groaned at some of the now, very dated references, I still enjoyed the story and the characters. There was a poignancy, and a certain joy in a hero who was so upright, stalwart, and pure. The hero, Ben Avery, parts of the story, and the writing style sometimes reminded me of "The Princess Bride".
It is best taken as an unabashed love-letter to all those wonderful old, corny, pirate stories and movies that we enjoyed as kids.
I kept wondering how this story would have looked as a chapter in the "Pirates of the Caribbean" franchise. Other than lacking any overt supernatural elements, the humor and the somewhat self-knowing and self-mocking attitude seem to fit. The two lead character, Ben Avery and Thomas Blood, could almost be stand-ins for serious Will Turner and roguish Jack Sparrow. Although I groaned at some of the now, very dated references, I still enjoyed the story and the characters. There was a poignancy, and a certain joy in a hero who was so upright, stalwart, and pure. The hero, Ben Avery, parts of the story, and the writing style sometimes reminded me of "The Princess Bride".
It is best taken as an unabashed love-letter to all those wonderful old, corny, pirate stories and movies that we enjoyed as kids.
February 14, 2008
This is my favorite book, bar none. I re-read it every two years and always get more laughs out of it. Fraser's humor isn't the typically dry British variety; he squeezes laughs into every crevice of this wild, irreverent pirate tale while managing to include some of the genuinely factual details that make his books so fascinating.
The only real glitch in the book is that, when it refers to events within its own pages, the page numbers it points to are usually several marks off. This is a minor detail, but it has always bugged me to flip back to find some prior occurrence -- or forward to a pending development -- and be unable to locate it. Still, this is essential reading for Flashman fans and anyone who loves a good pirate yarn.
The only real glitch in the book is that, when it refers to events within its own pages, the page numbers it points to are usually several marks off. This is a minor detail, but it has always bugged me to flip back to find some prior occurrence -- or forward to a pending development -- and be unable to locate it. Still, this is essential reading for Flashman fans and anyone who loves a good pirate yarn.
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