Short and sweet, Hardin gives an introduction to Buddhist philosophies about love and happiness. The first chapter about being your own best friend struck me the most. It served as a reminder to be in tune with my own emotions, and to be nonjudgmental of what I find.
A gesture of friendship:
1. Acknowledge yourself and how you feel.
2. Be kind to whatever you find.
3. Experience the resulting warmth of friendship.
"The first step is to feel ourself, however we might feel. Be aware of yourself from the top of your head down through your body to your feet and your contact with the earth. Very quickly, like the brush of a feather, scan your body and be aware of how you feel: good, bad, emotional, depressed, angry, in love, anxious, peaceful-- whatever it might be. Allowing yourself to feel yourself is in itself gentleness. Nothing extra called gentleness has to be added. That is the initial posture: 'I am here, and I feel like this.'"
What I'll take away is the reminder to be kind to myself, to practice authentic presence, and to extend that to others.
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Some other quotes and moments of the book I enjoyed:
[Ch 2 Loving your Partner]
"Seeing who is there, and not just our idea of who is there, is the wakeful quality of bodhichitta. In a good relationship, that kind of seeing brings appreciation. In an unhealthy relationship, it can help us to realize when a relationship is problematic."
Flash of generosity
[Ch 4 The Power of a Wish]
"The first Buddhist teaching that really stopped me in my tracks was a short contemplation from the Tibetan monastic tradition that I read in the 1960s. The name of the book is long since lost to my memory, but the contemplation remains. It has three parts:
I am not better than anyone else.
I am not worse than anyone else.
I am not equal to anyone else.
The last line stopped me because I had always been taught to believe that I was equal to others. I grew up in the United States, where everyone is believed to be equal. Yet this Buddhist contemplation said, "I am not equal to anyone else." There is no comparison, no measurement at all. So it is not a contradiction to say that in our uniqueness, we are all equal."
Bodhichitta - awakened mind & heart. "Rather than living in your own dream world, your mind and heart are awake."
[Ch 6 Love and Loyality]
"Gentleness is the key to opening the treasury of bodhichitta. It opens the doorway of friendship with ourself, which then opens us to others and the world around us. Gentleness does not feel weak, but strong and genuine. It allows us to touch what is true. 'I am alive. I am here. I feel the way I do. I am awake.' Being gentle with ourself is the opposite of being hard on ourself, and if we not struggling so much with who we are, we have created some peace and can be more present. Not having to become something, not having to fool anyone, we can be genuine and true. We can be right here, open and available to life."