What do you think?
Rate this book
Approval Addiction: Overcoming Your Need to Please Everyone
There is an epidemic of insecurity in society today. Many people suffer from an unhealthy need for affirmation. They are not capable of feeling good about themselves. For some the quest for approval becomes an actual addiction, as they seek self-worth from the outside world because they can't find it within themselves. Joyce Meyer understands the need for seeking approval from others to overcome feelings of rejection and low self-esteem. The good news, she says, is that there is a cure. God provides all the security anyone needs. Her goal is to provide a pathway toward freedom from the approval addiction.
272 pages, Hardcover
First published September 1, 2002
367 people are currently reading
5224 people want to read
About the author
Joyce Meyer
1,552 books3,860 followersJoyce Meyer is one of the world's leading practical Bible teachers. A New York Times bestselling author, Joyce’s books have helped millions of people find hope and restoration through Jesus Christ. Through Joyce Meyer Ministries, Joyce teaches on a number of topics with a particular focus on how the Word of God applies to our everyday lives. Her candid communication style allows her to share openly and practically about her experiences so others can apply what she has learned to their lives.
Joyce’s programs, Enjoying Everyday Life and Everyday Answers with Joyce Meyer, can be seen around the world through television, radio, and the Internet. Joyce has authored more than 100 books, which have been translated into more than 100 languages and over 65 million of her books have been distributed worldwide. She teaches in cities across America as well as internationally. Joyce Meyer Ministries has offices in nine countries.
Joyce’s passion to help hurting people is foundational to the vision of Hand of Hope, the missions arm of Joyce Meyer Ministries. Hand of Hope provides worldwide humanitarian outreaches such as feeding programs, medical care, orphanages, disaster response, human trafficking intervention and rehabilitation, and much more – always sharing the love and Gospel of Christ.
Her latest book, LIVING A LIFE YOU LOVE, releases Spring 2018.
Hachette Book Group has sold over 30 million copies of Joyce Meyer's books.
Joyce’s programs, Enjoying Everyday Life and Everyday Answers with Joyce Meyer, can be seen around the world through television, radio, and the Internet. Joyce has authored more than 100 books, which have been translated into more than 100 languages and over 65 million of her books have been distributed worldwide. She teaches in cities across America as well as internationally. Joyce Meyer Ministries has offices in nine countries.
Joyce’s passion to help hurting people is foundational to the vision of Hand of Hope, the missions arm of Joyce Meyer Ministries. Hand of Hope provides worldwide humanitarian outreaches such as feeding programs, medical care, orphanages, disaster response, human trafficking intervention and rehabilitation, and much more – always sharing the love and Gospel of Christ.
Her latest book, LIVING A LIFE YOU LOVE, releases Spring 2018.
Hachette Book Group has sold over 30 million copies of Joyce Meyer's books.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 175 reviews
April 24, 2009
I would have only given this book 4 stars, but I didn't want the author to get mad at me. I'm kidding, of course. I need to keep this book nearby just to remind me every so often that there are so many different values and interests that people have, and there's no way to please everybody. There are a lot of talented people doing their thing, yet their thing may not be something that interests me in the least. The same is true for what I can do.
January 17, 2010
The more I read, the more I know that God definitely gave me this book for a reason. I am so grateful. It's kind of like tough love to hear everything she has to say, but I know I need to hear it and that I will benefit from it greatly. Everything she says is backed up by scripture, which is so important because it confirms that God does not want me to live for the approval of others but for his approval alone.
November 15, 2024
Is curing the addiction of pleasing other people by replacing it with pleasing God, still an addiction?
Read
August 13, 2010It's about pleasing God not people.
January 28, 2012
After stumbling upon this book at B&N I decided to give it a try. I am an approval addict and have been for as long as I can remember. This book used principals from the Bible to show how God is more than enough to meet all our needs! God himself has given us his approval through the security and love we have from Jesus. Joyce expounds on different biblical passages and gives her own wisdom from breaking the "approval addiction" herself.
The book is very raw, giving many details about how her sexual abuse as a child led her to be so addicted to other people's approval. Obviously this is not prescriptive of everyone but she does give solid advice for breaking the addiction you may have.
Mrs. Meyer is certainly not someone I am used to hearing or reading. My conservative evangelical Christian tradition has many differences from Mrs. Meyer's. But I think we conservatives have a lot to learn about meditating on scripture and internalizing it, making it our own rather than simply using it for intellectual knowledge and study. Her solid theological stances on God's word and Christ's love in his life and death for us make this book a great resource for those struggling to end their addiction to the approval of others. It made me recognize how much I lack in my daily bible reading; not like a "guilt trip" but because of her resolute statements on God's word.
There are a few things you can count on from a Joyce Meyer book. They are immensely practical, flow well, they are easy reads, and they are very inspirational no matter what the topic may be. This book is no exception.
The book is very raw, giving many details about how her sexual abuse as a child led her to be so addicted to other people's approval. Obviously this is not prescriptive of everyone but she does give solid advice for breaking the addiction you may have.
Mrs. Meyer is certainly not someone I am used to hearing or reading. My conservative evangelical Christian tradition has many differences from Mrs. Meyer's. But I think we conservatives have a lot to learn about meditating on scripture and internalizing it, making it our own rather than simply using it for intellectual knowledge and study. Her solid theological stances on God's word and Christ's love in his life and death for us make this book a great resource for those struggling to end their addiction to the approval of others. It made me recognize how much I lack in my daily bible reading; not like a "guilt trip" but because of her resolute statements on God's word.
There are a few things you can count on from a Joyce Meyer book. They are immensely practical, flow well, they are easy reads, and they are very inspirational no matter what the topic may be. This book is no exception.
August 25, 2023
There is a lot of insecurity in society and this book helps to combat that insecurity.
April 22, 2025
Closing the book after finishing it made me realise God put this book in my life for a reason. I have always been a chronic people-pleaser and it was making me feel physically, mentally and spiritually exhausted. But, Joyce has opened my eyes to the negative effects of being this type of person.
I reflected and looked at my current relationships in my life and I can see some of them are not true relationships. I have allowed them to take advantage and control of me and I now can see that needs to change.
Thank you Joyce for opening my eyes to this. I am grateful.
"Jesus desires that you feel whole, complete and satisfied."
I reflected and looked at my current relationships in my life and I can see some of them are not true relationships. I have allowed them to take advantage and control of me and I now can see that needs to change.
Thank you Joyce for opening my eyes to this. I am grateful.
"Jesus desires that you feel whole, complete and satisfied."
March 20, 2010
Confession, I am an approval addict! This book was amazing in showing me just how addicted to pleasing others I truly was. Joyce shows you how to over come this addition. I would have never looked at seeking others approval as an addiction until I saw the title of this book.Overcoming my need to please will be something I will need to work on for a while. It was nice to have some one point out how to over come this addiction.
March 14, 2017
I got this book because I thought the title sounded interesting. I had no idea about the background of the author.
Overall, the message presented and the thoughtfulness of the framework presented by Meyer is helpful for those that have not considered how approval addiction has impacted their life, family, personal and professional relationships. She provides specific examples on what approval addiction is, the need to control associated it with it and where it is derived from. Her examples of how to correct the issue if someone is acting out on you or you are acting out on someone are incredibly clear and can easily be carried into anyone's life situations. Indeed, this is one of the better books I have ever read on control dynamics in personal and professional relationships.
That said, Meyer is a devote Christian. The point of view of the books comes directly from this way of thinking about the world and spirituality. While many other books within the "self-help" space also have religious undertones, Meyer's piece is more overt and can be distracting.
Without the over use of Christian themes, I would have given the book 4-5 stars. However, I gave it three because although I found it helpful, I think her message gets lost, because her main goal is to talk about God at the expense of her message. There are other authors who have been better able to accomplish both with more nuance.
If you're trying to decide to get this book and are a Christian, then go for it. Meyer's book is interesting, specific, and immediately applicable. She is realistic about what you should expect and how you should approach internally thinking about the change you are hoping to make.
If you are a stout atheist, as some of my friends are, the skip this book or take a very deep breath before reading it.
Overall, the message presented and the thoughtfulness of the framework presented by Meyer is helpful for those that have not considered how approval addiction has impacted their life, family, personal and professional relationships. She provides specific examples on what approval addiction is, the need to control associated it with it and where it is derived from. Her examples of how to correct the issue if someone is acting out on you or you are acting out on someone are incredibly clear and can easily be carried into anyone's life situations. Indeed, this is one of the better books I have ever read on control dynamics in personal and professional relationships.
That said, Meyer is a devote Christian. The point of view of the books comes directly from this way of thinking about the world and spirituality. While many other books within the "self-help" space also have religious undertones, Meyer's piece is more overt and can be distracting.
Without the over use of Christian themes, I would have given the book 4-5 stars. However, I gave it three because although I found it helpful, I think her message gets lost, because her main goal is to talk about God at the expense of her message. There are other authors who have been better able to accomplish both with more nuance.
If you're trying to decide to get this book and are a Christian, then go for it. Meyer's book is interesting, specific, and immediately applicable. She is realistic about what you should expect and how you should approach internally thinking about the change you are hoping to make.
If you are a stout atheist, as some of my friends are, the skip this book or take a very deep breath before reading it.
October 13, 2018
I purposely read this book slowly, on a personal quest. I think I'm too much of an approval please-er and I wanted to know if I had learned that from childhood or from experiences I've developed from 18 years of age to now. Well....this book is wrapped in many translations, from Pastor Joyce Meyer's experience as a pastor, private counselor, her personal life, and added scripture. I was awakened to find APPROVAL is an ADDICTION. She identifies and breakdowns different kinds of approvals. There were approvals I did not think of as AN APPROVAL. But to sum it all up, all these approvals and behaviors beyond it, can be looked at idolatry. You are not seeking God (first) for approval, and He has the all the approval we need. I would just to be ready to cry or meditate about yourself, and journal down thoughts (and truths) about yourself. This book is not a fast read. You should read it as if your visiting a therapist or christian counselor, laid back on a comfy coach, investing/ready to relearn about you. This book is not to make you feel awful, yet you might. BUT IT'S OK? Fortunately, it takes courage to want the Lord to work on you because He is concerned about us and how we treat, feel, and live our lives. And of course, each scripture given in this book should be looked up in our bible. You want to verify the scripture for yourself, so the message can pop out from your bible, to eyes, through your body, and flow to your heart. Recreating a new you.
Please enjoy the read.
Please enjoy the read.
Read
June 20, 2025No sé ni por dónde empezar... ¡Magnífico! La verdad es que no sé si es porque el tema me toca mucho a mí, pero hay que aceptarlo... Joyce Meyer es una mujer admirable, un gran ejemplo de superación y de entrega total a Dios. De verdad no encuentro las palabras para describir todo lo que pienso de este libro, pero haré mi mejor esfuerzo. Como ya he dicho en repetidas ocasiones, no me gustan estos libros de vida espiritual y pasos y demás, pero este libro tiene una narrativa muy fluida y en varias partes cuenta historias que hacen que: 1) te conectes con lo que estás leyendo, 2) te identifiques con los casos que se describen. Me encantan las separaciones que se hicieron (los capítulos), tal y como están. Me gustó mucho el poder conocer más a fondo la historia de Joyce Meyer y me gustó la forma en la que el libro te transmite amor, pero también te confronta y te dice: mira, estás haciendo esto mal. Sé que leerlo no habría sido lo mismo si Dios no lo hubiera querido usar, porque de verdad cada vez que lo abría resultaba algo que necesitaba para ese momento. Lo más probable es que vuelva a leerlo.
June 21, 2020
Many years ago, I began hearing Joyce Meyer's Enjoying Everyday Life radio show on my way to school each morning. I enjoyed her practical, straightforward teaching style, and have since come to greatly admire the way she uses personal anecdotes and Scripture to share spiritual truths that we need to know. I've read a couple of her books, this being the second. She brings the same teaching style to her writing that she does her speaking. Her advice is at times convicting and at times encouraging, but it's always just what you need to hear. This book is no exception. Meyer gives excellent advice about finding our true identity in Christ, and living from the perspective that we're already loved, valued, and accepted by Him, so that we aren't constantly seeking the approval of others. She also points out pitfalls to overcome that might be causing us to need approval from others. The book is highly useful, and I recommend it to everyone who needs Christian teaching on pleasing God rather than man.
August 28, 2017
Having never read Joyce Meyer before, I found her to be a straight-shooter with the truth about seeking approval from others. Beyond the obvious need to receive approval, she linked other behaviors, like the inability to receive criticism well or the quest to be non-confrontational to the overall approval addiction behavior pattern. That was an eye-opener for me. Beyond recognizing one's tendencies, Ms. Meyer emphasizes pressing past pain, anger, unforgiveness, rejection, and attitudes that keep one trapped in the never-satisfied cycle. I highly respected the way she closed with our completeness in Christ. The setting free comes from the realization that we are living under God's approval, made possible through Christ. As a fiction writer dependent on reviews and critiques of my books, "Approval Addiction" helped me keep a proper perspective that I can pray to God for people's favor, but their approval is not essential to who I am in Christ.
April 3, 2013
Very good book. Joyce is straightforward and direct. In this book she is encouraging us to overcome an addiction to people pleasing., not that there is anything wrong with pleasing others, but it can become a habit that controls our lives and we need to put pleasing God first. She explores the causes and outcomes of this addiction. The main cause is insecurity and low self-esteem.The answer? Knowing who you are in Christ!We are accepted and loved by God through faith in Jesus and that is really all we need. Very true and a great "self-help book that is Biblically based.
January 20, 2016
What a great self-help book that incorporates God into helping me start on a track of not always seeking affirmation from people. Most of my life I struggled with fear of not pleasing people and the words offered in this book was eye opening. I can survive rejection. I have all I need in Jesus and I'm so glad this book was able to remind me of that, and to remind me to love what I have and not what I think might make other people happy with me. Great inspiration!!
February 16, 2018
I took these words as the conclusion I made from the heartfelt and emotional book by Joyce Meyer. Overcoming Approval Addiction. Learn to receive God's approval not people's approval.We cannot always be people pleasers.We cannot always put the mask behind the mask and being "nice".We cannot always pretend to say yes just because we cannot say no.Just accepting who we are.If we lose a relationship because we tell someone no, then we really never had a true relationship at all.
February 23, 2020
The conclusion of the heartfelt and emotional book: learn to receive God's approval not approval of others. We cannot always be people pleaser. We cannot always put the mask behind the mask and being "nice". We cannot pretend to say yes just because we cannot say no. Just accepting who we are. If we lose a relationship 'cause we tell someone no, we not really had a true relationship at all. My rating: 5/5
June 17, 2009
This is a book that I read just after going thru a severe trama. It helped me to sort of make sense of how I feeling because this was very normal. The topics are diverse and as far as trama goes remember this -- this "whatever" has happened to you but don't let it control you any longer.
This book is good for the "right after phase" of abuse of course being safe in the meantime.
This book is good for the "right after phase" of abuse of course being safe in the meantime.
February 1, 2010
The author outlines biblical principles to be utilized in overcoming rejection and disapproval from others. God approves of us and we are to "shake off" any words or actions from others that reflect rejection or disapproval. Gives concrete steps to take to heal yourself from needing or wanting approval from others.
April 15, 2013
Don't let the star rating I gave this book fool you. It is a good book. Half of what is written in it, I have heard in one of her sermons though. It is definitely a good read for those of us that put too much weight on what others think. It is a reminder that our standing with God is much more important.
April 3, 2021
This book is invaluable and I wish I’d read it years ago. Don’t be a people please be a God pleaser. Don’t care what people think, only what God thinks. Find your identity in Christ and don’t do things just to keep people happy. Joyce is one of my favourite preachers and authors and I love that her testimony is infused into all her teachings.
July 13, 2008
This is probably my favorite book by Joyce Meyers. It's about putting God's approval above people, but of course, not in a rude way, ignoring people's feelings, but in a loving way. Help you not let people's opinions get in the way of the journey God put you on.
December 31, 2008
I did not realize how we are seeking for someone's approval. Joyce Meyers lays out it for real! I am a writer, always seeking for feedback, and if you think about it...I am seeking other people's approval!
October 1, 2013
This book changed me for the better. I learned to say no and not feel guilty of doing so, I also learned to accept critics and not get defensive, and lastly I learned that not everyone is going to agree with me or like me but that's something they have to take up with God.
June 25, 2020
Over all the book makes several good points that I believe need to be considered and applied in life but it does have to grow on you. Because many parts feel like you're are at a conference rather then reading a book.
February 17, 2022
¡Me encantó! Hay muchas partes que se vuelven definitivamente mis favoritas. Creo que es un libro que si le permites te habla directo al corazón y puedes aprender mucho, sobre todo entender situaciones y comportamientos a los que tal vez no le has puesto atención.
March 16, 2025
Such a great book! So many great insights and I feel everyone should read this at least once in their lives. There is so much of wisdom in these pages. First book ever of Joyce Meyer that I have read, and it certainly won’t be my last.
January 12, 2016
Best of Joyce Meyer ,i've met till now ..
The Arabic version is perfect which i have read ..
want to read it again and take notes for life ..
The Arabic version is perfect which i have read ..
want to read it again and take notes for life ..
July 14, 2025
This was a great read for all people pleasers. This one hit me more then her other works. I really did a lot of self evaluations throughout this book and highly recommend for any people pleasers out there.
May 22, 2025
I have read this book twice, it’s the book that opened the door to other Christ based books. Such a good read!!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 175 reviews